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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:58,723 Oh, Herr Brockman, I... 2 00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:01,126 Oh, please, Fraulein, not Herr Brockman. 3 00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,127 Call me Horst. 4 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:04,863 Really, Horst, I think I've had enough wine. 5 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,943 My face is getting red as a beet. 6 00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:10,501 Such a becoming color for such a lovely face. 7 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,338 You artists really have a way with words. 8 00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:14,439 Mm-hmm. 9 00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:16,041 It must be very exciting 10 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,054 being a foreign correspondent. 11 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,394 Very dangerous, too. 12 00:01:19,429 --> 00:01:22,397 Not nearly as dangerous as your brother's job. 13 00:01:22,433 --> 00:01:24,666 Takes a real man to be an SS officer. 14 00:01:24,701 --> 00:01:27,752 His division's right in the middle of the fighting, isn't it? 15 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:28,870 It was. 16 00:01:28,906 --> 00:01:31,306 They've been pulled back from the Russian front to... 17 00:01:34,144 --> 00:01:36,711 The rest is a military secret, I'm afraid. 18 00:01:36,746 --> 00:01:38,780 Better we not talk about it, then. 19 00:01:38,815 --> 00:01:41,849 You never know who might be listening. 20 00:01:41,885 --> 00:01:43,051 I propose a toast. 21 00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:44,719 To what are we toasting? 22 00:01:44,754 --> 00:01:48,523 To your brother's division, the glorious 12th SS. 23 00:01:48,558 --> 00:01:50,241 Sixth SS. 24 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:53,778 To the glorious Sixth SS. 25 00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:55,947 May their victories at the Russian front 26 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,266 be equal to their new victories in Sicily. 27 00:01:58,301 --> 00:02:00,302 North Africa. 28 00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:02,181 They're regrouping at Stuttgart, 29 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,407 then they're off for a surprise counterattack at Tobruk. 30 00:02:05,442 --> 00:02:06,858 It will be quite a surprise. 31 00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:08,944 The Allies would never expect such a move. 32 00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:10,645 To a glorious victory. 33 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:11,713 Oh, gracious. 34 00:02:11,748 --> 00:02:13,982 With such enchanting company, I completely forgot. 35 00:02:14,017 --> 00:02:15,934 I have to catch a plane in a half an hour. 36 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,970 But Horst, couldn't you take a later plane? 37 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,138 If only I could, 38 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:23,675 but I have an assignment of the greatest urgency. 39 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,455 One more glass of wine before you go? 40 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,628 Best I keep my head clear. 41 00:02:27,664 --> 00:02:31,617 You know, I never did get your name or address. 42 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,252 Audrey St. Laurence. 43 00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:37,138 Special Operations Intelligence, London, England. 44 00:02:37,173 --> 00:02:40,442 Are you sure you wormed enough information 45 00:02:40,477 --> 00:02:42,877 out of me, Colonel Hogan? 46 00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,327 Something must have happened. 47 00:02:58,362 --> 00:03:00,273 Colonel Hogan's never been this late before. 48 00:03:00,297 --> 00:03:01,864 Yeah, it's almost time for roll call. 49 00:03:01,899 --> 00:03:03,109 He's here. 50 00:03:03,133 --> 00:03:05,178 I could see him making his way to the edge of the woods. 51 00:03:05,202 --> 00:03:06,246 Schultz coming. 52 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,298 We got to stall him till Colonel Hogan gets here. 53 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,922 Carter! 54 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,029 Achtung! 55 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,630 Achtung! 56 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,899 What did you say, Schultz? 57 00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:23,135 I said "Achtung!" 58 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,136 Oh. 59 00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:25,220 Your bid, Kinch. 60 00:03:25,256 --> 00:03:27,138 Two of clubs. 61 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,807 When I say "Achtung," 62 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:32,510 that means that you all are to snap to attention. 63 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,457 Oh, is that what it means? 64 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:35,781 Huh. 65 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,361 I always thought it meant "Good morning" or "Greetings, mates," 66 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,350 something like that. 67 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,952 No. 68 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,421 No, "Achtung" is a command. 69 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,140 When I say "Achtung," 70 00:03:45,175 --> 00:03:48,577 I want you all to come to attention at once. 71 00:03:48,612 --> 00:03:50,523 I never was sure what it meant myself. 72 00:03:50,547 --> 00:03:53,593 It always sounded like Schultz was just clearing his throat. 73 00:03:53,617 --> 00:03:55,761 You say it's a command for attention, huh? 74 00:03:55,785 --> 00:03:56,785 That's right. 75 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,720 Now that you all know it... 76 00:04:03,193 --> 00:04:04,308 Achtung! 77 00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,728 And a good morning to you, too, Schultz. 78 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,493 Didn't you hear what Schultz said? 79 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:11,483 Sure. 80 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:12,484 He said "Achtung," 81 00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,453 so I said "Good morning" right back to him. 82 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,466 "Achtung" doesn't mean "Good morning." 83 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,490 Well, that's what Newkirk says it means. 84 00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:21,526 And who are we going to believe, one of us or one of them? 85 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,273 He's got a point there. 86 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,408 Yes, he does. 87 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,744 You better brush up on your German, Schultz. 88 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,968 Yeah, don't use words you're not sure of. 89 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,470 In future, to avoid confusion, 90 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,938 why don't you just say "Good morning" in English. 91 00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,090 It wasn't... 92 00:04:35,125 --> 00:04:36,174 Hi, Schultz. 93 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,610 Let us know when it's time for roll call, will you? 94 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:39,656 Jawohl, Colonel. 95 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:40,990 But it is time for roll call! 96 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,858 That's why I'm here in the first place. 97 00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:44,561 It's almost past time for roll call. 98 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:47,185 Boy, you'd never make sergeant in our air force. 99 00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:48,264 Roll call! 100 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,500 Everybody out, out, out, out, out. 101 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,489 Roll call! 102 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,924 Raus. 103 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,360 Thank you, and a "Good day" to you, too, Schultz. 104 00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,364 And while I'm on leave, 105 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:02,617 Colonel Krueger will be in charge of Stalag 13. 106 00:05:02,652 --> 00:05:06,120 Now let me leave you with this warning: 107 00:05:06,156 --> 00:05:10,391 while the cat's away, the mice better not play. 108 00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:15,479 And I will personally deal with any mouse play around here. 109 00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,549 You can depend on my men to conduct themselves 110 00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:18,700 as they always have, sir. 111 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,402 Colonel Hogan, I will hold you responsible. 112 00:05:21,438 --> 00:05:23,555 Sergeant Schultz, dismiss the men. 113 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,790 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 114 00:05:26,843 --> 00:05:28,276 Achtung. 115 00:05:28,311 --> 00:05:29,372 Now, uh, uh, uh... 116 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:30,946 I mean, good morning. 117 00:05:30,981 --> 00:05:31,947 I mean... attention. 118 00:05:31,982 --> 00:05:33,359 Colonel Krueger looks 119 00:05:33,383 --> 00:05:34,683 like a lot of laughs, doesn't he? 120 00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:36,712 Oh, yeah, he's a regular Huckleberry Finn. 121 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,920 Colonel Hogan, will you do me a small favor, please? 122 00:05:38,955 --> 00:05:40,099 Sure, Schultz; what is it? 123 00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:42,223 Will you tell your men not to leave 124 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,426 until I say, "Prisoners dismissed." 125 00:05:44,461 --> 00:05:46,494 I mean, please, not everybody, 126 00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:48,779 but enough to make me look good. 127 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:51,266 Well, I don't mind hanging around when the weather's nice, 128 00:05:51,301 --> 00:05:53,768 but a man could take a nasty chill on a morning like this. 129 00:05:53,803 --> 00:05:56,082 I think it was pretty decent of us to stick around 130 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,816 for Colonel Klink's farewell address. 131 00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,291 I believe my men's health 132 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,692 comes before your personal glory, Schultz. 133 00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,930 But Colonel Hogan, I do not want to make a bad impression 134 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,214 on the new Kommandant. 135 00:06:06,249 --> 00:06:07,332 From the looks of him, 136 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,767 that's the only kind anybody's going to make on him. 137 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,186 That's not very nice of you, LeBeau. 138 00:06:12,222 --> 00:06:13,187 Hey. 139 00:06:13,223 --> 00:06:15,289 The colonel and the Gestapo act like old buddies. 140 00:06:15,325 --> 00:06:16,290 What's up, Schultz? 141 00:06:16,326 --> 00:06:17,291 Are you asking me? 142 00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:20,829 Haven't you learned that I know nothing, 143 00:06:20,864 --> 00:06:23,965 I see nothing and I hear nothing? 144 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:24,983 Morning, gentlemen. 145 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:25,984 Allow me to, uh... 146 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,630 Hogan, this is a private conversation. 147 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,620 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. 148 00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:29,821 I didn't mean to interrupt. 149 00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,123 Just wanted to pay my respects 150 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,224 to Colonel Krueger here. 151 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,442 Military courtesy, you know. 152 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:34,993 Very good of you, Colonel. 153 00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,945 You'll find that I'm more than willing to... 154 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,624 Hogan, this is a private conversation. 155 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,282 No one can hear what I'm saying, sir. 156 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,627 This is a private conversation 157 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,596 between Colonel Krueger, Colonel Nikolas and myself. 158 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,231 Oh, of course, that's what you said before. 159 00:06:45,255 --> 00:06:47,099 I'm sorry, gentlemen, I didn't mean to interrupt. 160 00:06:47,123 --> 00:06:48,133 That's what you said before 161 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,835 and all you've done is interrupt ever since. 162 00:06:49,859 --> 00:06:51,988 Before I leave, I have a few things 163 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:55,091 to discuss with Colonel Krueger... personal matters. 164 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,659 You're welcome to use the officer's mess 165 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:57,649 if you'd like, sir. 166 00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,450 Excuse me, gentlemen, I think you'll find it 167 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:00,985 much more convenient and more privacy 168 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,120 in Colonel Klink's office. 169 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,667 We don't want to inconvenience the Kommandant. 170 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,719 Well, you see, I have a lot of work to do and... 171 00:07:06,743 --> 00:07:08,009 It's no inconvenience at all. 172 00:07:08,044 --> 00:07:09,811 Anything for the Gestapo, right, Colonel? 173 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,125 Of course I can always do my work later. 174 00:07:12,149 --> 00:07:14,416 That's most kind of you, Colonel. 175 00:07:14,451 --> 00:07:15,500 That's nothing. 176 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:16,500 Glad to do it. 177 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,769 I was addressing the Kommandant. 178 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:19,805 Hogan! 179 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,374 Try to be nice. 180 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,310 That will be all, Fraulein. 181 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:27,812 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 182 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:30,548 And one more thing... 183 00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,084 Would you make sure that we are not disturbed? 184 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,452 Jawohl. 185 00:07:37,441 --> 00:07:39,908 You know, Walter, in one week, 186 00:07:39,943 --> 00:07:43,661 Stalag 13 will not look like the same place. 187 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:46,614 Except for the Fraulein, I hope. 188 00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:50,418 Now if we can only convince the High Command 189 00:07:50,453 --> 00:07:52,131 to let the military fight the war, 190 00:07:52,155 --> 00:07:53,571 let us run the prison camps. 191 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,541 When they see the changes here, they will be convinced. 192 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,793 So that's what they're up to. 193 00:07:58,828 --> 00:08:00,311 A Gestapo takeover. 194 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,312 Kinch. 195 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:02,313 Yeah. 196 00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:04,348 Did you radio London about that surprise attack 197 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,395 the Sixth SS is planning? 198 00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:07,184 Not yet, Colonel... Too much interference. 199 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,453 The Germans must be jamming. 200 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,401 I like the idea of cutting food rations in half, 201 00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:14,609 and confiscating their Red Cross packages 202 00:08:14,644 --> 00:08:17,545 as spoils of war is really brilliant. 203 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,681 We must think of our own people, Walter. 204 00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,150 They would pay us anything on the black market 205 00:08:22,186 --> 00:08:23,218 for those packages. 206 00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:24,253 Ah. 207 00:08:24,287 --> 00:08:25,720 I guess we heard enough. 208 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,166 I wish I hadn't heard any of it. 209 00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:29,924 Those two are going to make a jail out of this prison camp. 210 00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:31,820 Keep trying to get through to London, Kinch. 211 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:32,810 With the Gestapo here, 212 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,023 we may have to go off the air 213 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,012 on very short notice. 214 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,048 Right, Colonel. 215 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,649 We've got to keep Klink here. 216 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,285 We can kill this whole thing 217 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,454 if we can get him to cancel his leave. 218 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,355 Cancel a two-week leave? 219 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,569 No one in his right mind... 220 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,953 You may have a chance at that. 221 00:08:55,652 --> 00:08:58,787 Herr Kommandant, you're packed and ready to go. 222 00:08:58,822 --> 00:08:59,966 Thank you, Schultz. 223 00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:03,235 Ah, the mountain air will be beautiful this time of year. 224 00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:04,954 I cannot wait to get up to the lodge. 225 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,027 Let me see... 226 00:09:06,063 --> 00:09:08,529 The train trip will take about nine hours. 227 00:09:08,565 --> 00:09:10,815 Would it be not much quicker to fly? 228 00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,984 It takes only an hour by airplane. 229 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:13,985 No, Schultz. 230 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,565 Then you miss the beautiful scenery. 231 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,071 Besides, I enjoy trains. 232 00:09:17,107 --> 00:09:18,807 You would enjoy airplanes, too, 233 00:09:18,842 --> 00:09:20,636 if you wouldn't be afraid to fly. 234 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,777 Schultz, I'm not afraid of flying. 235 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:26,147 It's just that I find train traveling more relaxing. 236 00:09:26,182 --> 00:09:29,584 Now, did you pack everything that I laid out? 237 00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:30,952 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 238 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,653 Oh. 239 00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:34,923 I think I forgot something. 240 00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:35,958 What was it... 241 00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:39,077 The nose drops, ear drops or the eye drops? 242 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,946 Why don't you open the bag and make sure? 243 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,214 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 244 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,662 Sorry to bust in on you like this, sir, but I just had to... 245 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,030 Thank goodness you're unpacking. 246 00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,865 This is certainly no time to go on vacation. 247 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,332 Hogan, what are you talking about? 248 00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:51,734 You know what I'm talking about... 249 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,619 Colonel Krueger and his Gestapo hatchet man. 250 00:09:53,643 --> 00:09:56,410 I was pretty sure you saw the same thing I saw. 251 00:09:56,446 --> 00:09:57,595 What is it you saw? 252 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:58,997 The same thing you saw. 253 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,609 You did see it, didn't you? 254 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,000 If you saw it, I saw it. 255 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,568 What was it we were seeing? 256 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,481 The nods and winks between Krueger and Nikolas. 257 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,716 Those two are up to something. 258 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:07,706 We both saw that. 259 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:08,606 Hogan, I... 260 00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:09,919 Now that you're going to be staying on, 261 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,521 they'll have to call off their little scheme. 262 00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:12,510 What scheme? 263 00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:14,390 Colonel Krueger's after your command. 264 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,458 Well, you knew that. 265 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,398 Hogan, that's ridiculous. 266 00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:19,428 Oh? Then why'd you cancel your leave? 267 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,718 Because I... 268 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,219 Who said I canceled my leave? 269 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,999 That's the only way to stop them. 270 00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,185 What makes my blood boil is that they had the gall 271 00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,886 to plot against you in your own office. 272 00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:30,088 Schultz, get that luggage unpacked on the double. 273 00:10:30,112 --> 00:10:31,763 Jawohl, Colonel. 274 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,014 Achtung, Schultz. 275 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,533 Oh, no, no, Herr Kommandant, not "Achtung." 276 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,001 "Achtung" is too late. 277 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:40,438 What you want to say is "Good afternoon, Sergeant Schultz." 278 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,273 It's almost 3:30. 279 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,609 Suddenly, I'm surrounded by two lunatics. 280 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,688 Not lunatics, sir. 281 00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:47,890 I'd call Krueger and Nikolas fanatics. 282 00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,931 I was talking about you and Schultz. 283 00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:50,949 Oh, swell. 284 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,717 That's the gratitude I get? 285 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:53,718 I try to help. 286 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,119 What thanks do I get? 287 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,021 Oh, I do thank you, Hogan. 288 00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:59,507 I thank you for trying to ruin a trip 289 00:10:59,543 --> 00:11:01,675 that I've planned all last year. 290 00:11:01,711 --> 00:11:03,812 I thank you for trying to make me suspicious 291 00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:05,063 of a loyal comrade. 292 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:08,733 I thank you for trying to turn one of my own men against me! 293 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,203 Schultz, you fathead! 294 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,606 Pack, don't unpack. 295 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,073 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 296 00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:25,744 He wasn't about to cancel his leave. 297 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,313 He just laughed at the idea of Krueger taking over here. 298 00:11:28,337 --> 00:11:29,837 Yeah, well, the laugh's on him, 299 00:11:29,873 --> 00:11:31,539 although it's no laughing matter. 300 00:11:31,574 --> 00:11:32,985 Yeah, the Gestapo have a way 301 00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,489 of taking all the fun out of prison life. 302 00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:39,158 Guess that means we'll be going out of the espionage business 303 00:11:39,182 --> 00:11:40,275 for awhile, won't we, sir? 304 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:41,949 I don't know. 305 00:11:41,985 --> 00:11:44,129 Krueger could just be a very good fighter pilot 306 00:11:44,153 --> 00:11:45,965 with no brains at all for this command. 307 00:11:45,989 --> 00:11:48,857 Yeah, that still makes him smarter than Klink. 308 00:11:48,892 --> 00:11:51,036 And the Gestapo is supporting him. 309 00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:53,461 If we could discredit Krueger... 310 00:11:53,497 --> 00:11:56,097 takes care of the plan right there. 311 00:11:57,401 --> 00:11:58,681 All clear, Kinch. 312 00:12:00,036 --> 00:12:02,248 Colonel, I finally got through to London. 313 00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:03,916 They send their warmest thanks 314 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,573 and these instructions. 315 00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:06,574 Instructions? 316 00:12:06,609 --> 00:12:08,242 I told them about the enemy attack. 317 00:12:08,278 --> 00:12:09,410 What more do they want? 318 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,814 Huh? 319 00:12:13,849 --> 00:12:17,218 Are they out of their ever-loving minds? 320 00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:18,386 This is crazy. 321 00:12:18,421 --> 00:12:19,454 It's insane. 322 00:12:21,057 --> 00:12:23,224 Absolutely insane. 323 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,311 There's no way. 324 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,414 Some nut had to come up with this one. 325 00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:31,983 Good news, sir? 326 00:12:33,769 --> 00:12:37,037 The Allied forces need a little time to bring up fresh troops 327 00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:39,051 to launch a surprise counteroffensive 328 00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:41,325 against the German surprise counterattack. 329 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,894 What's that got to do with us? 330 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,830 They want us to keep those SS troops pinned down here 331 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,365 for at least two more days. 332 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,468 We're supposed to keep 10,000 men pinned down?! 333 00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,537 Did they say how we'd do that? 334 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,472 There's only one way... 335 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,923 we surround them. 336 00:12:55,958 --> 00:12:57,658 Now, I don't know... 337 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,939 We got so much going in our favor as it is. 338 00:12:59,963 --> 00:13:02,240 You see, we're a small group, first of all, 339 00:13:02,264 --> 00:13:03,943 and we have the added advantage 340 00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:05,365 of being unarmed. 341 00:13:05,401 --> 00:13:06,946 I'd say we try direct charge. 342 00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:08,736 Good plan, Newkirk. 343 00:13:08,772 --> 00:13:10,788 They'd never expect a surprise attack 344 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,257 from five unarmed men. 345 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,992 So right there we've got 346 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,043 the element of surprise going for us. 347 00:13:16,078 --> 00:13:17,706 They don't really expect us to delay that division, 348 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:18,696 do they, Colonel? 349 00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:20,475 Not unless you got this message wrong. 350 00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,160 I thought it might be a mistake, too, 351 00:13:22,184 --> 00:13:23,584 so I asked them to repeat it. 352 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:25,414 Five times I asked them to repeat it. 353 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:28,956 I'd say they definitely expect us to delay that division. 354 00:13:28,991 --> 00:13:30,057 How? 355 00:13:30,093 --> 00:13:31,592 We don't even have any guns. 356 00:13:31,628 --> 00:13:33,393 Carter, if we had guns 357 00:13:33,429 --> 00:13:35,941 there'd be no trick to it at all, would there? 358 00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:38,176 We'd just sneak up behind them 10,000 men, 359 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,445 we'd say, "All right, this is a stick-up. 360 00:13:40,469 --> 00:13:42,414 Don't anybody move for three days." 361 00:13:42,438 --> 00:13:43,548 If this is an example 362 00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:45,050 of London's warmest thanks, 363 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,184 we better not send them 364 00:13:46,208 --> 00:13:47,536 any more enemy information. 365 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,321 They've given us tough assignments before 366 00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:52,046 and we've always been able to think of a way to get them done. 367 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,281 They probably just assume 368 00:13:53,316 --> 00:13:54,826 that we're going to do it the same way 369 00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:55,894 with this little problem. 370 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,903 Well, five men cannot hold off a division. 371 00:13:58,938 --> 00:13:59,787 Right. 372 00:13:59,823 --> 00:14:01,022 It's ridiculous. 373 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,022 Right. 374 00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,857 Just can't be done. 375 00:14:03,893 --> 00:14:05,259 Right. 376 00:14:07,029 --> 00:14:09,763 And here's how we're going to do it. 377 00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:11,165 Escape! 378 00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:12,734 What escape?! 379 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:16,086 I went to Barrack One for morning roll call... 380 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,256 and the men were gone. 381 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,607 How many men? 382 00:14:20,643 --> 00:14:23,794 All 15 of them. 383 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,763 What's happening, Kinch? 384 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,333 Is Krueger calling out the Sixth SS to help in the search? 385 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,767 Nikolas is all for it, 386 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,469 but Krueger wants to handle it himself. 387 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,714 Here you are, boys, 388 00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:34,333 our own private entrance to the camp. 389 00:14:34,357 --> 00:14:35,634 All right, fellows, let's go. 390 00:14:35,658 --> 00:14:36,957 Hi. 391 00:14:36,993 --> 00:14:38,359 Here we go. 392 00:14:39,529 --> 00:14:41,374 Move all the way back there, huh? 393 00:14:41,398 --> 00:14:43,238 Plenty of room for everybody. 394 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:45,628 Can you fill us in 395 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:46,896 on just what we're doing, sir? 396 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,285 Yeah, we have orders 397 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,249 to keep the Sixth SS Division from moving out. 398 00:14:50,273 --> 00:14:51,751 We're hoping Colonel Krueger gets them 399 00:14:51,775 --> 00:14:53,602 to help track down all the escaped prisoners. 400 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,755 What escaped prisoners are you talking about, Colonel? 401 00:14:55,779 --> 00:14:58,140 I'm talking about you 15 men from Barracks One. 402 00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,497 My cooperation just ended. 403 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,410 I don't like being a prisoner of war, 404 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,768 but I'm a lot safer inside than I am outside. 405 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:06,081 Colonel, they'd nail us before we got ten feet. 406 00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,450 And them SS boys, they're a trigger-happy bunch. 407 00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:09,735 Let me explain something. 408 00:15:09,759 --> 00:15:11,871 Nobody's stepping foot outside this camp. 409 00:15:11,895 --> 00:15:13,995 That way you won't be taking any chances. 410 00:15:14,030 --> 00:15:15,612 We're escaped prisoners, 411 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,481 but we never leave the prison, right? 412 00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:19,595 That's right, we're going to hide you here in the tunnel. 413 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:20,696 All right, let's move out. 414 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,531 Come on, fellows, make room for him. 415 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,332 One more in there... Plenty of room. 416 00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:25,490 When he was captured, 417 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,636 did they have to quiet him down with a crack on the head 418 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:28,826 or anything like that? 419 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:31,428 I imagine he put up a bit of a struggle, yes. 420 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,392 Something bothering you, Sergeant? 421 00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:34,715 Well, it's this escape idea. 422 00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,150 Does it make any sense to you? 423 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,746 Frankly, I think it's one 424 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,170 of the Colonel's more brilliant plans. 425 00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:42,540 Uh-huh... 426 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:43,941 You took a couple of good ones 427 00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,876 in the old noggin yourself, didn't you? 428 00:15:48,264 --> 00:15:50,075 I will not have escaped prisoners 429 00:15:50,099 --> 00:15:52,011 sabotaging the German war effort. 430 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,946 I will have to call in the Sixth SS Division. 431 00:15:53,970 --> 00:15:55,469 That will not be necessary, Colonel. 432 00:15:55,504 --> 00:15:56,916 My men will capture the prisoners. 433 00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:58,239 Your men are the ones 434 00:15:58,274 --> 00:16:00,007 who let them get away in the first place. 435 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,236 Surely you don't think 436 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:02,471 that this escape is my fault? 437 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,561 Bah. 438 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,374 But obviously they have been planning it 439 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:06,608 for some time... 440 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,644 Right under the nose of Colonel Klink. 441 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,634 But they escaped under yours, 442 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,137 so you can't really pin this on anybody's nose 443 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,173 except your own! 444 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,357 Sergeant! 445 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,208 J-j-jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 446 00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,677 Shall I call the prisoners to attention? 447 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:21,873 No, Sergeant. 448 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,409 I would like you to kick in the door 449 00:16:23,433 --> 00:16:25,060 and we'll see what they may be up to. 450 00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:27,051 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 451 00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,321 Didn't you hear the Kommandant?! 452 00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:32,756 Kick in the door! 453 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,564 Nobody move or I will... 454 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,402 They're gone, too. 455 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,403 Where are they? 456 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,638 They must have escaped. 457 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:48,884 They couldn't have. 458 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,274 Why not? 459 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,871 This seems to be the day for it. 460 00:16:51,895 --> 00:16:53,138 If they have escaped, 461 00:16:53,162 --> 00:16:54,874 they cannot be far from here. 462 00:16:54,898 --> 00:16:56,976 So you will organize a search party 463 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,126 and go after them. 464 00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,549 Yes, sir! 465 00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,130 But I have already a search party 466 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,470 out looking for the men from Barrack Number One. 467 00:17:03,506 --> 00:17:06,273 So organize a second search party. 468 00:17:06,308 --> 00:17:07,591 Yes, Colonel. 469 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:10,928 If this keeps up, 470 00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:13,815 we won't have any men left to guard the prisoners. 471 00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,582 If this keeps up, Sergeant, 472 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,402 you won't have any prisoners left to guard. 473 00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,988 Yes, Colonel. 474 00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:24,992 May I use your office phone, Colonel Krueger? 475 00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:27,628 If you think you are going to call 476 00:17:27,664 --> 00:17:30,097 the Sixth SS Division to help... 477 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,916 That's exactly what I think I'll do. 478 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,468 All right now, fellows, 479 00:17:34,503 --> 00:17:37,572 Colonel Hogan wants you men to feel free to do 480 00:17:37,607 --> 00:17:39,574 anything you feel like doing. 481 00:17:39,609 --> 00:17:41,775 A couple of things you can't do: 482 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,261 Uh, no smoking and no moving around. 483 00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:48,582 You know, no unnecessary noises like talk and stuff like that. 484 00:17:48,617 --> 00:17:51,752 Just what can we do? 485 00:17:51,788 --> 00:17:53,399 Well, I would suggest you find 486 00:17:53,423 --> 00:17:56,156 a nice, comfortable spot and sack out for awhile. 487 00:17:56,192 --> 00:17:57,607 I just left a comfortable spot 488 00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:58,742 where I was sacked out. 489 00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:00,344 How long are we going to be stuck 490 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,845 in this Black Hole of Calcutta? 491 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,314 Only a very short time... 492 00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,015 One or two days at the most. 493 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:08,730 Well, how are we fixed for chow? 494 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,383 Oh, well, now, you're going to be eating the very best. 495 00:18:11,407 --> 00:18:13,418 You see, our chef here, Corporal LeBeau, 496 00:18:13,442 --> 00:18:15,254 has an access to the officers' mess. 497 00:18:15,278 --> 00:18:16,654 So we have a ready supply... 498 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:17,878 Not anymore. 499 00:18:17,914 --> 00:18:19,446 They had all the locks changed. 500 00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:21,059 Does that mean there ain't no chow for us? 501 00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:22,250 You'll be fed, Corporal. 502 00:18:22,285 --> 00:18:23,618 We don't have a lot of food, 503 00:18:23,653 --> 00:18:25,052 but with a little imagination 504 00:18:25,087 --> 00:18:26,554 I can make a very nice dinner. 505 00:18:26,589 --> 00:18:28,472 What about breakfast and lunch? 506 00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:30,524 I imagine that's what I'll be making it with. 507 00:18:30,559 --> 00:18:33,244 Oh, hey, come on, fellows, just hold it down now. 508 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,090 You want the Germans to catch you? 509 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,692 No, I want them to rescue us. 510 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,299 What kind of soldiers are you? 511 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:39,667 You're not thinking 512 00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:41,335 of the thousands of lives you can save! 513 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,036 You only care about eating and sleeping! 514 00:18:43,072 --> 00:18:44,705 Have you forgotten we're fighting a war 515 00:18:44,740 --> 00:18:45,907 and why we're fighting it?! 516 00:18:45,942 --> 00:18:47,241 Okay, Frenchy, 517 00:18:47,276 --> 00:18:48,859 before you break into the "Marseillay." 518 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,378 "Marseillaise." 519 00:18:50,413 --> 00:18:52,441 All right, you've made your point. 520 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,566 I guess I can stand to be a caveman for a few days. 521 00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:58,002 That goes for the rest of you guys, too. 522 00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,699 Hey, come on, move on back down there. 523 00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:01,772 Get closer. 524 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,252 Make room for the fugitives 525 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,556 from Barracks Three! 526 00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:13,395 Oh, good morning, Colonel Klink. 527 00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:15,152 Good morning, Bruno. 528 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,820 Just came down to check 529 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,722 where I start with Fraulein Baermann. 530 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,725 I mean, about my skiing lessons, of course. 531 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,794 That's marvelous. 532 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,530 Oh, Colonel, it's wonderful to see a man 533 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:28,527 who faces death seven days a week 534 00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:30,195 and still has a sense of humor. 535 00:19:30,219 --> 00:19:33,237 I guess maybe that is the way all heroes are. 536 00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:36,623 Oh, Bruno, I'm a far cry from being a hero. 537 00:19:36,659 --> 00:19:38,292 I believe the Colonel forgets 538 00:19:38,328 --> 00:19:40,744 that little slip of the tongue last night. 539 00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:42,112 "Slip of the tongue," huh? 540 00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,048 About the three medals 541 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:46,078 personally presented by the Führer himself. 542 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,818 I didn't, did I? 543 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,254 Yes, you did. 544 00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:53,140 "Killer Klink." 545 00:19:53,176 --> 00:19:55,626 Not my nickname, too? 546 00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,781 Oh, but do not worry, Colonel, 547 00:20:00,816 --> 00:20:03,050 I haven't said a word to anyone else. 548 00:20:03,085 --> 00:20:05,202 Your secret is safe with me. 549 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,320 Ah, that's good. 550 00:20:06,356 --> 00:20:07,521 Thank you, Bruno. 551 00:20:07,557 --> 00:20:08,789 Well, I'm here to forget 552 00:20:08,825 --> 00:20:10,290 all about the war for awhile. 553 00:20:10,326 --> 00:20:13,126 I'm sick and tired of fighting and bloodshed. 554 00:20:13,162 --> 00:20:16,347 For the next two weeks it's death takes a holiday. 555 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,926 Oh, I meant to tell you, Colonel. 556 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,795 General Burkhalter is very anxious... 557 00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,347 He didn't call again, did he? 558 00:20:21,371 --> 00:20:22,836 Well, I'm still not in. 559 00:20:22,872 --> 00:20:24,571 The next time he calls, 560 00:20:24,607 --> 00:20:26,285 I'm in, but I've just gone out. 561 00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,876 But, Colonel, I think you had better... 562 00:20:28,911 --> 00:20:30,022 No, no, no, no... 563 00:20:30,046 --> 00:20:31,390 I do not want to talk to him. 564 00:20:31,414 --> 00:20:32,924 He's probably found out something 565 00:20:32,948 --> 00:20:34,626 about some paperwork I've done wrong 566 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:35,960 and that'll give him a chance 567 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,762 to yell at someone for an hour or two. 568 00:20:37,786 --> 00:20:39,164 You know something, Bruno? 569 00:20:39,188 --> 00:20:41,099 Fat men are supposed to be jolly. 570 00:20:41,123 --> 00:20:43,668 General Burkhalter is just a nasty old tub of lard. 571 00:20:43,692 --> 00:20:45,137 Colonel... 572 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,038 And the next time he phones, I'm out. 573 00:20:47,062 --> 00:20:49,480 He didn't call this time. 574 00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:51,081 He didn't? 575 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:53,361 Well, if he didn't, he probably telegraphed, 576 00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:54,730 and if he didn't telegraph, 577 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,765 he's probably standing right behind me. 578 00:20:58,223 --> 00:21:00,502 Oh! What a wonderful surprise, General Burkhalter. 579 00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:02,137 I knew you were here all the time. 580 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:03,922 I bet you're ready to blow your lard... 581 00:21:03,946 --> 00:21:05,212 I mean... 582 00:21:05,248 --> 00:21:07,175 You know I was only kidding, don't you? 583 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,033 Of course you were. 584 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:11,035 And I want you to know 585 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,370 I haven't laughed like this in years. 586 00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:16,840 Yes, sir, as I said before, it's a wonderful surprise. 587 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,753 Are you here for any special reason? 588 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,344 Yes, I am, Klink. 589 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,680 Since you were obviously ducking my phone calls, 590 00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:25,900 I decided to see you personally. 591 00:21:25,935 --> 00:21:27,312 Ducking your phone calls, sir? 592 00:21:27,336 --> 00:21:28,713 Bruno, why didn't you tell me 593 00:21:28,737 --> 00:21:29,948 General Burkhalter was... 594 00:21:29,972 --> 00:21:31,255 Klink! 595 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,040 I heard everything you said. 596 00:21:33,075 --> 00:21:34,909 Yes, sir. 597 00:21:34,944 --> 00:21:36,989 Now, you know I was only kidding. 598 00:21:37,013 --> 00:21:39,713 It was all said in very good fun 599 00:21:39,749 --> 00:21:40,926 and I hope you took it in the spirit 600 00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:42,060 that it was intended to. 601 00:21:42,084 --> 00:21:43,461 After all, I would be the last man to... 602 00:21:43,485 --> 00:21:44,652 Shut up, Klink. 603 00:21:44,687 --> 00:21:45,986 Yes, sir. 604 00:21:46,022 --> 00:21:47,888 Let us go to your room. 605 00:21:47,923 --> 00:21:50,741 I will do the talking while you do the packing. 606 00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:51,854 Yes, sir, that's fine. 607 00:21:51,878 --> 00:21:52,954 You do the talking... 608 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,072 Did you say "packing"? 609 00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:56,213 That's right, "Killer." 610 00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:59,182 What you said is absolutely true. 611 00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:02,553 I really am a nasty old tub of lard. 612 00:22:10,780 --> 00:22:13,747 Yes, sir, I know the Sixth Division has been tied up 613 00:22:13,783 --> 00:22:15,349 for three days. 614 00:22:15,384 --> 00:22:18,218 Yes, sir, it is a problem. 615 00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:19,653 However, I'm sure you'll agree 616 00:22:19,689 --> 00:22:21,555 that no one's really to blame for it... 617 00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:23,457 That's exactly what I was saying, sir... 618 00:22:23,493 --> 00:22:25,392 No one's really to blame for it but me. 619 00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,473 Tell Marshal Goering I said hello. 620 00:22:27,497 --> 00:22:29,697 Klink, this is a private conversation. 621 00:22:29,732 --> 00:22:32,332 I'm sorry, I only wanted to pay my respects. 622 00:22:32,368 --> 00:22:34,735 Yes, sir, you're absolutely right, sir. 623 00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:36,670 It is my problem 624 00:22:36,706 --> 00:22:39,540 and I will personally take care of it at once. 625 00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:43,143 Yes, sir, it is as good as done. 626 00:22:43,178 --> 00:22:44,945 Nice talking to you again. 627 00:22:44,981 --> 00:22:47,014 Please give Mrs. Goering my... 628 00:22:50,853 --> 00:22:52,586 Swine. 629 00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:54,254 Is something wrong, sir? 630 00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:57,758 Marshall Goering has issued an order 631 00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:59,638 that all of the escaped prisoners 632 00:22:59,662 --> 00:23:01,629 are to be found by tomorrow morning. 633 00:23:01,664 --> 00:23:03,108 Well, General Burkhalter, 634 00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:04,665 do you think it can be done? 635 00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:06,400 I don't see how... 636 00:23:06,435 --> 00:23:08,780 But this is your problem, not mine. 637 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:10,004 My problem? 638 00:23:10,039 --> 00:23:11,438 It was your problem a moment ago 639 00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,106 when you spoke to Field Marshal Goering. 640 00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:14,909 Yes, it was. 641 00:23:14,944 --> 00:23:17,811 But luckily, I'm not talking to Marshal Goering now. 642 00:23:17,847 --> 00:23:21,081 I am talking to Colonel Klink! 643 00:23:21,116 --> 00:23:25,185 A man with a very big problem on his hands. 644 00:23:25,221 --> 00:23:26,682 Sorry to barge in on you, Colonel, 645 00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:28,550 but this is terribly important. Hi, General. 646 00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:30,652 I want to ask you, sir... No, I want to beg you... 647 00:23:30,676 --> 00:23:32,075 Not to be too tough 648 00:23:32,110 --> 00:23:33,355 on those poor, misguided men. 649 00:23:33,379 --> 00:23:34,645 What men? 650 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,057 The 30 escaped prisoners. 651 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:38,327 It was an obvious case of mass temporary insanity. 652 00:23:38,351 --> 00:23:39,877 You will let them off easy, won't you, sir? 653 00:23:39,901 --> 00:23:41,818 You know where they are? 654 00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:44,405 No, sir, but once they hear that Colonel Klink's back in charge, 655 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,067 naturally they'll turn themselves in. 656 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:49,659 Why would they do a crazy thing like that? 657 00:23:49,695 --> 00:23:51,044 It would be crazy not to. 658 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,991 They know Colonel Klink won't sleep 659 00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:55,215 until he catches every last one of them. 660 00:23:55,251 --> 00:23:57,329 And he's awfully mean when he doesn't sleep. 661 00:23:57,353 --> 00:23:58,652 I think you are the one 662 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,620 with the temporary insanity, Hogan. 663 00:24:00,656 --> 00:24:03,390 If the entire Sixth Division couldn't find them, 664 00:24:03,426 --> 00:24:05,075 how is this, uh... 665 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:08,144 Herr Kommandant, it is them. 666 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:11,681 All the escaped prisoners are back in the barracks. 667 00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:16,920 They got here sooner than I expected, sir. 668 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:19,251 I hope you'll find it in your heart, sir, to be lenient. 669 00:24:19,275 --> 00:24:20,369 I will, Hogan. 670 00:24:20,393 --> 00:24:21,820 I also hope you find it in your heart, sir, 671 00:24:21,844 --> 00:24:23,755 to give us some of the supplies we're running short on. 672 00:24:23,779 --> 00:24:25,540 We'll talk about that some other time. 673 00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:26,941 It's perfectly all right, sir. 674 00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,076 I've made out a list. 675 00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:29,110 If you'll just okay it, 676 00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:30,479 I'm quite sure Sergeant Schultz 677 00:24:30,503 --> 00:24:31,613 can run it over to supply. 678 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:32,848 Oh, you don't have a pen. 679 00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,671 Here... 680 00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:35,987 Use mine. 48764

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