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1
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,028
I'm going to build
one of these bunks,
2
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,330
you know, at home after the war.
3
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,697
What will you do with it?
4
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,955
I think I'll chop it up.
5
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,024
I'm not sure I should get
rid of this old mattress.
6
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,126
It's so nice and thin, I
could use it as a sheet.
7
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,531
Oh, look at the lumps
in that bloody thing.
8
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,731
How'd you ever sleep in it?
9
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,145
For every lump in that mattress,
10
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,646
there's a corresponding
dent in me.
11
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,681
Schnell, schnell,
schnell, schnell.
12
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,638
Oh, schnell yourself.
13
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,584
You should be glad
to get new mattresses.
14
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:17,008
I am, Schultz, but it's
like losing an old friend.
15
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,179
What's the angle, Colonel?
16
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:21,214
Angle?
17
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,214
What do you mean?
18
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,282
Yesterday, a new stove.
19
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:24,317
Today, new mattresses.
20
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,695
I don't understand you, Hogan.
21
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,230
Every time I do
something decent,
22
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,220
must I have an angle?
23
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,654
Yes.
24
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:30,989
Dismissed.
25
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,370
Oh, Hogan, you better see to it
26
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:35,805
that the barracks are in order.
27
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,239
The Red Cross inspector's going
28
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,541
to surprise us with a visit.
29
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:40,365
Mm-hmm, and as
soon as he leaves,
30
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,800
so do the new mattresses.
31
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,746
You know, I never
thought of that.
32
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,882
Hogan, I think you
would have made
33
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,851
an excellent prison commandant.
34
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,795
I applied for the job, but
they wouldn't take me.
35
00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:50,859
I passed the mental test.
36
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:01,653
Schultz!
37
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:07,842
Come on, Schultz...
38
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,077
"Come on, Schultz..."
39
00:02:10,581 --> 00:02:12,113
Fancy bumping into you.
40
00:02:15,953 --> 00:02:20,305
Major Hochstetter, how
very nice of you to drop by.
41
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,852
If anyone makes an
unnecessary move, shoot to kill.
42
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,276
Shoot to kill?
43
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,378
What do you have in
the truck, prisoners?
44
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:27,524
No, dancing girls.
45
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:28,691
Of course prisoners!
46
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,993
The most important
prisoners you will ever see...
47
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,563
Every important leader of
the underground movement.
48
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,353
Well, my congratulations,
Major Hochstetter.
49
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:36,533
What is this man doing here?
50
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:37,589
Oh, I'm so sorry.
51
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:38,723
Major Hochstetter,
52
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,603
this is the American
prisoner, Colonel Hogan.
53
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:41,859
Colonel Hogan, this is...
54
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,406
Klink, did I ask
for an introduction?
55
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,030
I just thought I'd show
the new prisoners around,
56
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,765
with your permission, of course.
57
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,345
What is this man doing here?!
58
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,581
Schultz, escort Colonel Hogan
back to the barracks at once.
59
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,925
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
60
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,552
A special armed guard is coming
61
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,320
to take these
prisoners to Berlin.
62
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,289
In the meantime, I
want you to prepare
63
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,057
a maximum-security
block for them.
64
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,481
Yes, sir, maximum security.
65
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,815
You can depend on me.
66
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,261
I am sure it's not necessary
67
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:07,097
to tell you what
will happen to you
68
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:08,698
should there be an escape, hmm?
69
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,355
An escape from Stalag 13?
70
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:11,823
That's a good one.
71
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:12,935
You will be shot.
72
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,226
That's another good one.
73
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,297
What is this man doing here?!
74
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,065
Just leaving.
75
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,822
Colonel Hogan, those
prisoners won't escape
76
00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:31,593
from Stalag 13, will they?
77
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,762
I don't know,
Schultz, but if they do,
78
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:36,097
I'll make sure you're
the first to know.
79
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:39,167
Please, Colonel
Hogan, if they do,
80
00:03:39,202 --> 00:03:41,636
let me be the last to know.
81
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,254
Hi, Schultzy.
82
00:03:59,289 --> 00:04:00,822
Have a cigarette?
83
00:04:00,858 --> 00:04:01,858
Go on, Schultz.
84
00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,658
Five guards with machine guns.
85
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:09,725
They're sure not
taking any chances
86
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,161
with those
underground prisoners.
87
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:13,629
And look who's
guarding us... Schultz.
88
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,515
I think it's a plot to
make us feel worthless.
89
00:04:15,539 --> 00:04:18,306
We will be if we don't
free those prisoners.
90
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,242
I don't want to seem
negative, Colonel,
91
00:04:20,277 --> 00:04:22,677
but getting those new
prisoners out of the cooler
92
00:04:22,712 --> 00:04:24,313
won't exactly be
a piece of cake.
93
00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:26,459
That translates into
French as rien à faire
94
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,727
and then back into English
95
00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:29,362
as meaning
definitely impossible.
96
00:04:29,386 --> 00:04:30,669
I'm with you.
97
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,220
From Hilda.
98
00:04:32,256 --> 00:04:34,656
Information on the
underground prisoners.
99
00:04:38,461 --> 00:04:40,962
"Lydon from Austria,
Albins from Belgium,
100
00:04:40,998 --> 00:04:43,464
Calaruso from Italy,
Belét from France."
101
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,779
The major leaders
of the underground.
102
00:04:45,803 --> 00:04:47,235
With those fellas out of action,
103
00:04:47,271 --> 00:04:49,504
the Resistance movement
will be at a standstill.
104
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,317
Well, what are we
going to do about it?
105
00:04:51,341 --> 00:04:52,418
It's simple... a tunnel.
106
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:53,586
We dig a tunnel.
107
00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:54,642
Forget it.
108
00:04:54,678 --> 00:04:56,377
It would take a
week to dig a tunnel.
109
00:04:56,413 --> 00:04:58,313
That special escort
will be here any day.
110
00:04:58,348 --> 00:04:59,492
Well, all right.
111
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:00,448
It was a rotten idea,
112
00:05:00,483 --> 00:05:01,627
but at least I was first.
113
00:05:01,651 --> 00:05:03,351
The cooler they're
being kept in...
114
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,153
It's in pretty bad
shape, isn't it?
115
00:05:05,189 --> 00:05:06,454
Shocking.
116
00:05:06,489 --> 00:05:08,389
And with the Red
Cross inspector due,
117
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:10,336
it should be put in shape
like the rest of the camp...
118
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,428
New mattresses,
new stove, right?
119
00:05:13,463 --> 00:05:14,573
Right, but I still don't see
120
00:05:14,597 --> 00:05:16,776
how that's going to help
us get those prisoners out.
121
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:17,833
Good.
122
00:05:17,868 --> 00:05:19,234
Maybe Klink won't
see how either.
123
00:05:19,269 --> 00:05:23,955
And despite adverse conditions,
I am again forced to report
124
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:28,693
that Stalag 13 is operating
at 100% efficiency.
125
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:30,661
I guess that sums
it up, Fraulein Hilda.
126
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:31,763
Wouldn't you say so?
127
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:32,942
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
128
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,043
Is that all?
129
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:37,318
Not quite.
130
00:05:37,353 --> 00:05:38,765
You see, I just
came into possession
131
00:05:38,789 --> 00:05:40,366
of a perfectly
splendid bottle of wine,
132
00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:42,750
and I thought possibly this
afternoon you and I could...
133
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,475
Not today, Colonel.
134
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,305
I just don't quite
feel up to it.
135
00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:47,496
Perhaps tomorrow?
136
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:55,737
Fill out that memo in triplicate
and send it out immediately.
137
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,389
Of course, sir.
138
00:06:00,644 --> 00:06:02,639
Hogan, I don't recall
having sent for you.
139
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:03,961
Not a very friendly attitude.
140
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:07,131
I certainly hope the new camp
commandant is more agreeable.
141
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:10,535
New camp comma...
142
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:11,953
That's ridiculous!
143
00:06:11,988 --> 00:06:13,449
You didn't expect
to keep your job
144
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,501
after the Red Cross
inspector sees this place?
145
00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:18,859
You know, Hogan, there are times
when you can be most tiresome,
146
00:06:18,895 --> 00:06:20,295
and this is one of them.
147
00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:23,081
Stalag 13 is a
model prison camp.
148
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,065
Really?
149
00:06:24,101 --> 00:06:25,101
Every inch.
150
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,278
Including the cooler,
151
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,347
where the underground
prisoners are being held?
152
00:06:28,371 --> 00:06:29,604
The comfort of those prisoners
153
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,405
is Major Hochstetter's
concern, not mine.
154
00:06:31,441 --> 00:06:32,551
You're not concerned.
155
00:06:32,575 --> 00:06:34,120
Well, I certainly think
Major Hochstetter
156
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,043
wouldn't want to hear that.
157
00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:36,756
Hogan... Colonel,
I'm trying to help you.
158
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:37,990
Would Hochstetter do as much?
159
00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:39,147
He gave the orders.
160
00:06:39,182 --> 00:06:41,315
No one is to interfere
with his prisoners.
161
00:06:41,351 --> 00:06:42,595
Sure, what does he care?
162
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,197
Is the Red Cross going
to mention his name
163
00:06:44,221 --> 00:06:45,898
to the Inspector General?
164
00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:48,089
You can bet your
monocle they won't.
165
00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:49,357
But that's different.
166
00:06:49,392 --> 00:06:50,725
Well, sure, it is.
167
00:06:50,761 --> 00:06:52,972
But just remember,
the Inspector General
168
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,741
always has an extra ticket handy
169
00:06:54,765 --> 00:06:57,331
for the Stalingrad Express.
170
00:06:59,302 --> 00:07:01,002
Just a moment, Hogan.
171
00:07:05,809 --> 00:07:07,208
What's to be done exactly?
172
00:07:07,244 --> 00:07:09,255
Nothing much...
Clean up, a new stove.
173
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:10,556
We have new mattresses;
174
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:12,324
they should have new mattresses.
175
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:15,416
Otherwise the old ones will
stick out like a sore thumb.
176
00:07:15,451 --> 00:07:17,051
But Major Hochstetter...
177
00:07:17,087 --> 00:07:19,098
Change them when
Hochstetter isn't around.
178
00:07:19,122 --> 00:07:20,499
It'll only take your
men a few minutes.
179
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,690
I'll supervise for you.
180
00:07:22,725 --> 00:07:24,125
My men?
181
00:07:24,161 --> 00:07:25,559
It's your idea.
182
00:07:25,595 --> 00:07:28,496
Your men will change
them, and I will supervise.
183
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,931
I wouldn't have
it any other way.
184
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:40,759
Can't your men work any faster?
185
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,138
All right, come on, fellas.
186
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,282
Speed it up.
187
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:47,398
Look at the time.
188
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,300
They're supposed
to be finished by now.
189
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:50,375
Relax.
190
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,447
Hochstetter's in town, isn't he?
191
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,449
What if he comes
back early? So what?
192
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,884
Who's in charge here?
You give the orders.
193
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,586
You're not afraid
of Hochstetter.
194
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,887
If he interferes, tell him off.
195
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,310
Yes, of course.
196
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:02,113
I'm glad you feel that way,
because here he comes.
197
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,347
What is going on here, Klink?
198
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,617
What are these men doing
around the restricted area?
199
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,496
Major Hochstetter,
please control yourself.
200
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,231
We're just doing a
little housecleaning.
201
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,288
Housecleaning?
202
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,456
This is a prison.
203
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,903
Major Hochstetter,
back from town so soon?
204
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,094
Klink, isn't this
man ever locked up?
205
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,663
Careful how you talk
to Colonel Klink, sir.
206
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,643
The Gestapo
doesn't frighten him.
207
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,566
Hogan!
208
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,179
Sir, Colonel Hogan
is most cooperative.
209
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,447
It's the only way to be, sir.
210
00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:26,465
And I'm sure you've got
more important things to do,
211
00:08:26,489 --> 00:08:27,600
so don't let us hold you up.
212
00:08:27,624 --> 00:08:28,823
What is this?
213
00:08:28,859 --> 00:08:29,758
This is a mattress, sir.
214
00:08:29,793 --> 00:08:30,659
I know it's a mattress.
215
00:08:30,694 --> 00:08:31,809
What are you doing with it?
216
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,906
Oh, that's all right, Major.
217
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,531
They are just
following my orders.
218
00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:37,431
Oh?
219
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:38,511
The Red Cross inspector...
220
00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:40,045
He would never approve
those mattresses.
221
00:08:40,069 --> 00:08:41,236
Why? What's wrong with them?
222
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,466
Well, they're old, they're worn.
223
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,823
Probably contaminated.
224
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,470
They look all right to me.
225
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,559
Halt!
226
00:08:51,181 --> 00:08:53,013
Hogan, you and your men...
227
00:08:53,049 --> 00:08:55,149
The truck!
228
00:09:01,691 --> 00:09:03,358
This is your idea
of housecleaning?
229
00:09:03,393 --> 00:09:05,170
Major Hochstetter,
I don't understand.
230
00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:06,361
Believe me...
231
00:09:06,396 --> 00:09:07,528
Kruger!
232
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:12,244
From now on, anyone who
crosses this line will be shot...
233
00:09:12,268 --> 00:09:13,768
Major Hochstetter...
234
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,348
Especially Colonel Klink.
235
00:09:15,372 --> 00:09:16,838
This is unheard of.
236
00:09:16,873 --> 00:09:18,006
I assure you...
237
00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:19,073
Just a hunch, Colonel,
238
00:09:19,108 --> 00:09:21,308
but I don't think you're
wanted around here.
239
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,524
We really blew that one.
240
00:09:24,548 --> 00:09:25,479
All the way.
241
00:09:25,515 --> 00:09:27,126
Yeah, the old
Kraut's going to be
242
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,666
pretty tough to live
with from now on.
243
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:30,000
Oh, I can handle Klink.
244
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:32,954
It's the guys in the
underground I'm worried about.
245
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,217
We can forget about them.
246
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,684
Hochstetter's doubled the guard.
247
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:37,242
LeBeau's right...
They're done for.
248
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,460
They won't get out
till the war's over.
249
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:44,482
Yeah.
250
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,716
Yeah, that's it.
251
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,201
What's it?
252
00:09:47,237 --> 00:09:48,086
What you said.
253
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,020
That's the answer.
254
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,222
They won't get out
until the war's over.
255
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,139
So?
256
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,141
It's simple.
257
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:54,309
We'll end the war.
258
00:09:55,979 --> 00:09:57,011
Do you really think
259
00:09:57,047 --> 00:09:59,013
we're going to convince
Klink and Hochstetter
260
00:09:59,049 --> 00:10:00,148
that the war is over?
261
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,161
There's no guarantee,
but if we pull it off,
262
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,363
those underground
prisoners are going to go free.
263
00:10:04,387 --> 00:10:05,553
It's got to be worth a try.
264
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:06,632
All right, good. Thomas?
265
00:10:06,656 --> 00:10:08,589
The radio station in Hammelburg.
266
00:10:08,624 --> 00:10:10,191
We'll take it exactly 4:55.
267
00:10:10,226 --> 00:10:11,904
You got your script?
Yeah, right here.
268
00:10:11,928 --> 00:10:13,622
All right, good. Newkirk?
269
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,307
I take care of the
switchboard, sir.
270
00:10:15,331 --> 00:10:17,359
And you intercept
Hochstetter's call to Berlin.
271
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:18,977
What if he doesn't make it?
272
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:20,079
Don't worry, he'll make it.
273
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:21,069
LeBeau...
274
00:10:21,104 --> 00:10:23,804
Dummy newspaper...
Plant it on Schultz.
275
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,384
Good. Now, Hilda
knows what to do?
276
00:10:25,408 --> 00:10:27,609
Don't worry. She'll get
Klink to turn on the radio
277
00:10:27,644 --> 00:10:30,678
at exactly 5:00, just for you...
278
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,247
and a pound of coffee
and six pair of nylons.
279
00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:35,199
Ain't love grand?
280
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,567
Thanks.
281
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,135
Let's go.
282
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:42,640
Fraulein Hilda, one sip of this
283
00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:46,143
and you won't be
able to control yourself.
284
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,323
Why, Colonel, whatever
gave you the idea
285
00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:50,292
that I would want
to control myself?
286
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,716
Don't be bashful.
287
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:52,801
Bottoms up.
288
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:57,938
Mmm... that's marvelous.
289
00:10:57,974 --> 00:11:00,007
It makes me feel warm all over.
290
00:11:00,042 --> 00:11:01,876
Me, too.
291
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,661
But you haven't had any yet.
292
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:06,247
Oh.
293
00:11:06,283 --> 00:11:08,126
Do you know
what I'd really like?
294
00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:09,901
Name it.
295
00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:11,535
Music.
296
00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:14,005
Romantic music.
297
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:26,317
That was nice, ja?
298
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:30,989
And now our Fuhrer's favorite,
The Ride of the Valkyries,
299
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:35,493
dedicated to our victorious
troops on the Russian front.
300
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,706
Achtung! Achtung!
301
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,041
We interrupt this program
302
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,088
to bring you an
important news bulletin.
303
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,528
The war is over.
304
00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,508
Armistice has been declared.
305
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:59,467
At 4:55 this afternoon, the
Berlin High Command announced
306
00:11:59,502 --> 00:12:02,520
the end of hostilities between
Germany and the Allied forces,
307
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,789
officially ending the war.
308
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:07,992
We repeat, the war is over!
309
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,912
Stay tuned to this
station for further bulletins.
310
00:12:15,117 --> 00:12:16,517
Fraulein Hilda,
did you hear that?
311
00:12:16,552 --> 00:12:17,685
The war is over.
312
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,553
Call Colonel Hogan,
Major Hochstetter.
313
00:12:19,589 --> 00:12:20,554
The war is over!
314
00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:21,756
It's over! It's over.
315
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,722
But I tell you, I heard
it with my own ears.
316
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,711
Impossible!
317
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,891
There must be some mistake.
318
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,682
How could I make a mistake
about something like that?
319
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:33,329
If anybody could make a mistake
320
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,931
about something like
that, Klink, you are the one.
321
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,088
It was on the radio.
322
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,890
The High Command announced it.
323
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,557
I heard it with my own ears.
324
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,826
Fraulein Hilda heard it, too.
325
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,056
Fraulein Hilda!
326
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,563
Yes, sir.
327
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,798
Did you hear the
armistice announcement?
328
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,016
Well, I'm not sure.
329
00:12:49,052 --> 00:12:52,787
You see, I was concentrating
on something else at the time.
330
00:12:52,823 --> 00:12:54,255
Dear girl.
331
00:12:55,658 --> 00:12:58,326
There must be some
way of confirming it.
332
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,339
Well, there's Colonel Bomberg.
333
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:01,807
Surely he would know.
334
00:13:01,831 --> 00:13:03,230
Call him! Call him!
335
00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:05,800
Very well, Klink,
but I warn you...
336
00:13:05,835 --> 00:13:08,736
If you have me make
a fool of myself...
337
00:13:08,772 --> 00:13:11,272
I tell you, it's true, sir.
338
00:13:11,308 --> 00:13:12,385
It is true.
339
00:13:12,409 --> 00:13:14,475
Operator.
340
00:13:14,511 --> 00:13:16,110
Hello, operator.
341
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,459
Your call, please.
342
00:13:20,483 --> 00:13:22,166
Ja, this is Major Hochstetter.
343
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,185
I want to speak to
Colonel Bomberg.
344
00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:32,961
Colonel Bomberg's office.
345
00:13:32,996 --> 00:13:34,629
Leutnant von Streckner speaking.
346
00:13:34,664 --> 00:13:36,080
This is Major Hochstetter.
347
00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:37,315
Is Colonel Bomberg in?
348
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,716
Jawohl, Major, but he
may have a little trouble
349
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,018
getting to the telephone.
350
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:44,822
The last time I saw him, he
was swinging from a chandelier.
351
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:48,159
Bomberg is swinging
from a chandelier.
352
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:50,672
Well, if the war isn't over,
353
00:13:50,696 --> 00:13:51,936
he just cracked up.
354
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,898
Hello.
355
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,267
Hello, Bomberg.
356
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,835
Hochstetter here.
357
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:01,155
Bomberg, I wonder if you
could verify a rumor that...
358
00:14:01,191 --> 00:14:03,474
It's all over, Hochstetter!
359
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,442
Did you hear the news?
360
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,910
It's over.
361
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:09,025
Ach, Liebchen, kommen
sie back to the party.
362
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:11,232
Hello.
363
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,533
Hello!
364
00:14:12,569 --> 00:14:15,769
Heidi, I told you,
everybody out!
365
00:14:21,211 --> 00:14:24,011
Hochstetter, it's
wild here, I tell you.
366
00:14:24,046 --> 00:14:25,012
Wild!
367
00:14:25,047 --> 00:14:26,697
I can't believe it.
368
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:29,249
Are you sure the war is over?
369
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,019
What is this, some
kind of a joke?
370
00:14:32,055 --> 00:14:33,321
Sure, I'm sure.
371
00:14:33,356 --> 00:14:36,257
Don't you think I know when
a war is over, Dummkopf?
372
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,724
Oh, of course, I do.
373
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,010
It's just that it's so sudden.
374
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,647
Look, if it's too sudden
for you, Hochstetter,
375
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,283
why don't you make
believe that the war is on
376
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:48,185
for a couple of days
while I go back to the party.
377
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,488
No, no, I heard that
the war was over.
378
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,241
I just wanted to check
with you to make sure.
379
00:14:53,276 --> 00:14:55,910
You can take my word for it.
380
00:14:55,946 --> 00:14:58,346
The war is definitely over.
381
00:14:59,882 --> 00:15:01,827
Oh, what about the party?
382
00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:03,229
Everybody's
coming and it's my...
383
00:15:03,253 --> 00:15:05,131
Oh, Liebchen, give me one...
384
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,288
But you told me...
385
00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:09,468
Ah, but ladies,
please, please...
386
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:10,825
You're tearing my uniform!
387
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:12,026
Get back!
388
00:15:14,431 --> 00:15:17,298
Oh, so long, Hochstetter!
389
00:15:22,639 --> 00:15:24,138
Well, it's over.
390
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,806
It's really over.
391
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,975
See, I told you so.
392
00:15:30,046 --> 00:15:31,145
Yeah, not bad.
393
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,547
Not bad, Colonel.
394
00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:36,384
Had me fooled for a minute,
but that hokey phone call.
395
00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:37,918
Come on, Hochstetter!
396
00:15:37,954 --> 00:15:40,104
Hokey phone call?
397
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,306
You went one step
too far, overdone.
398
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:44,175
It's like your German operas.
399
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:47,261
I heard it from Bomberg himself.
400
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,438
Hey, Schultzy, did you
drop this can of chocolate?
401
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,428
Did I?
402
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,673
You must have, it isn't mine.
403
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:05,646
I'll get it for you.
404
00:16:05,682 --> 00:16:06,981
Ah, ah!
405
00:16:07,016 --> 00:16:10,818
I wouldn't ask a prisoner to do
something I would not do myself.
406
00:16:12,488 --> 00:16:13,855
Ja, it is mine.
407
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,757
I must have a hole in my pocket.
408
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:19,004
You also have one
in your character.
409
00:16:19,028 --> 00:16:20,161
No one is perfect.
410
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,196
Ha!
411
00:16:33,977 --> 00:16:37,979
"D-Der Krieg Ist Zu Ende!"
412
00:16:38,014 --> 00:16:41,198
Der... der Krieg ist zu Ende!
413
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:43,968
Believe me, Hogan, if
Bomberg says the war is over,
414
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,135
the war is over.
415
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:48,406
Really, Hogan, you're the
most stubborn man I've ever met.
416
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,152
I'm not stubborn,
I'm wise to you.
417
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,744
You release the prisoners,
they walk out the gate,
418
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,257
the Gestapo's waiting
outside with machine guns...
419
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,448
"Shot while escaping."
420
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,484
I'm just not buying it, Klink.
421
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,485
Colonel!
422
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,486
Colonel!
423
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,087
Colonel, it's over!
424
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,522
The war is over!
425
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,701
Well, Hogan,
426
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,725
what do you say now?
427
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,063
I... I don't know what to think.
428
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:18,168
I am the colonel,
you are the sergeant,
429
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,071
and you are not discharged yet.
430
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:23,986
Speaking of discharges, what
are you planning on doing, Colonel,
431
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,537
I mean, if the
war is really over?
432
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:27,477
Well, back to civilian life.
433
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:31,381
You know, Hogan, a man with
my experience as a bookkeeper
434
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:34,118
shouldn't have any
trouble finding work.
435
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,403
All the big companies
need bookkeepers.
436
00:17:36,438 --> 00:17:37,832
How about you, Schultz?
437
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:41,492
I was in toys, but the government
took over the toy factory
438
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:42,693
for the war effort.
439
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,261
Now that the war is over,
440
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,364
I hope they're going to
give back the toy factory.
441
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,116
Then we can make toys again.
442
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,579
And what company
was it, Schultz?
443
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,736
The Schatzi Toy Company.
444
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,005
Oh.
445
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,550
Hogan, you wouldn't
know about that,
446
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,975
but the Schatzi Toy Company
is the biggest toy company
447
00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:58,976
in all of Germany.
448
00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:00,344
Schultz, do you think your boss
449
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,090
would give you your
old job back, huh?
450
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,698
Why not?
451
00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:06,383
I'm the boss.
452
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,036
You own the Schatzi Toy Company?
453
00:18:09,071 --> 00:18:10,738
Jawohl.
454
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,859
Schultz, would you like a cigar?
455
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,295
Thank you, Colonel.
456
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,563
Please don't call me "Colonel."
457
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,931
Call me "Wilhelm."
458
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:23,367
Danke, Wilhelm.
459
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:26,904
Hogan, you're a free man.
460
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:27,905
The war is over.
461
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:28,906
You may go.
462
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,486
If you don't mind, I'll wait.
463
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,491
I'm still not sold.
464
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,709
Do as you wish.
465
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,624
Of course it's really none of
my business, Major Hochstetter,
466
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:38,260
but you could help erase the
bad image the Gestapo has
467
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,828
by releasing your prisoners now.
468
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,130
I mean, they're civilians...
469
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,620
That is, if the
war is really over.
470
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:47,291
Hogan, the war is over!
471
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,126
But I think I'd better wait.
472
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:51,796
A special armed
guard is on its way here
473
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,647
from Berlin to pick them up.
474
00:18:53,683 --> 00:18:56,500
Believe me, Hochstetter,
those armed guards turned back
475
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,168
the moment they heard the news.
476
00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:00,103
While you're here
waiting for them,
477
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,673
they're back in Berlin
dancing in the streets.
478
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:03,741
You may be right.
479
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,843
And I think Colonel Hogan
had a very good suggestion.
480
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,524
I don't think it
would do any harm
481
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,831
for the Gestapo to act
a little bit more human.
482
00:19:10,867 --> 00:19:11,849
Klink!
483
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:14,251
Careful, the war is over.
484
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,637
You know what?
485
00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:17,704
What?
486
00:19:19,809 --> 00:19:23,044
I think I will go
release my prisoners.
487
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:29,417
Now I'm convinced
the war is over.
488
00:19:29,452 --> 00:19:33,220
♪ In all my dreams ♪
489
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:36,357
♪ In all my dreams... ♪
490
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:37,358
Look at them.
491
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:38,558
I told them they can go
492
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,427
and they're having
such a good time,
493
00:19:40,463 --> 00:19:41,728
they don't want to leave.
494
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,675
No one ever wants
to leave Stalag 13.
495
00:19:43,699 --> 00:19:44,664
Excuse me a minute.
496
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:47,060
I should be sharing this
moment with my men.
497
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:54,836
All right, hold it, hold it.
498
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,159
We didn't go to all this work
499
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,696
just to have the eight of
you organize a singing group.
500
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,330
Sorry, Colonel, we
couldn't tell them.
501
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,331
Schultz was here.
502
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,316
Okay, beat it.
503
00:20:02,351 --> 00:20:04,501
Haven't you heard, Colonel?
504
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:05,803
The war is over!
505
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,337
I know, the five of us ended it,
506
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,539
and as soon as Klink
and Hochstetter find out,
507
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,258
they're going to
start it up again.
508
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,359
What a beautiful job.
509
00:20:12,394 --> 00:20:13,377
How did you do it?
510
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:14,462
No time now.
511
00:20:14,497 --> 00:20:16,524
You can read about it next
month in Stars and Stripes,
512
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,148
now beat it.
513
00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:19,149
Keep up the good work.
514
00:20:19,184 --> 00:20:20,150
Yeah, same to you.
515
00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:21,151
Come on.
516
00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:22,152
Good-bye, then.
517
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:23,153
Hold it, hold it.
518
00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:25,288
You guys should go in style.
519
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:27,535
Major Hochstetter, can I
see you a minute, please?
520
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,192
Don't push your luck, Colonel.
521
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,239
Haven't you heard,
there's a war on.
522
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:33,583
You've got to take chances.
523
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,167
Yes?
524
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,569
Your... your prisoners
have decided to leave us,
525
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,104
but it's a long hike into town.
526
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,440
I was wondering if they
might borrow your car.
527
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,675
Borrow my car?
528
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:46,010
Well, they'll return it
tomorrow, won't you, fellas?
529
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,222
Yeah.
530
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,413
These are going to
be big men in industry,
531
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:50,414
and who knows?
532
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:51,682
You may need a job.
533
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:53,985
Well, I don't...
534
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,286
Look, I'll tell you what.
535
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,287
I'll sign for it.
536
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:58,689
If they don't return
it, I'll pay for it.
537
00:20:58,724 --> 00:20:59,734
Yes, but...
538
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,258
What difference does it make?
539
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:02,259
The war's over.
540
00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:07,431
Well, yes, the
war is over... but...
541
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,907
Well, all right, take the car.
542
00:21:41,984 --> 00:21:44,218
Well, gentlemen,
shall we celebrate?
543
00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:48,322
Ah, General Busse, this
is indeed a great pleasure.
544
00:21:48,357 --> 00:21:49,734
Speak for yourself, Klink.
545
00:21:49,758 --> 00:21:52,393
Now, what is this...
Guards without guns,
546
00:21:52,428 --> 00:21:55,362
uniforms unbuttoned,
prisoners running wild?
547
00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:56,430
Well, I...
548
00:21:56,466 --> 00:21:58,043
You call this discipline?
549
00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,417
No, sir.
550
00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:01,118
General.
551
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,269
At ease.
552
00:22:02,305 --> 00:22:05,700
I heard in Berlin that
congratulations are in order.
553
00:22:05,724 --> 00:22:07,535
Capturing those
underground leaders
554
00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:09,470
is quite a feather
in your cap, huh?
555
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:10,494
Thank you, General.
556
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:13,464
Of course, it doesn't
mean as much now, hmm?
557
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:15,215
Now that the war is over?
558
00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:19,436
The what is what?
559
00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:21,605
The war... it's over.
560
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:22,606
The war is over.
561
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:23,974
That's right, General.
562
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:25,109
Haven't you heard?
563
00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:27,678
No, and neither
have the Americans.
564
00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:30,997
They bombed Berlin
just one-half hour ago.
565
00:22:31,033 --> 00:22:33,451
You mean the war isn't over?
566
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:36,386
Of course it is not over!
567
00:22:36,422 --> 00:22:37,983
Gee, Hochstetter,
what a bad break,
568
00:22:38,007 --> 00:22:40,418
and after you let those four
underground prisoners go.
569
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,520
But you made a lot of
friends for the Gestapo.
570
00:22:42,544 --> 00:22:44,878
You stupid fool, you!
571
00:22:44,913 --> 00:22:47,397
You have been tricked.
572
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:51,018
And you... you...
you idiot, you.
573
00:22:51,053 --> 00:22:52,653
I will see to it that you are...
574
00:22:52,688 --> 00:22:53,799
Sir, I hate to butt in,
575
00:22:53,823 --> 00:22:56,401
but all of Colonel Klink's
prisoners are still here.
576
00:22:56,425 --> 00:22:57,758
That's right.
577
00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:59,159
That's right!
578
00:22:59,194 --> 00:23:01,161
Schultz, close the gates.
579
00:23:01,196 --> 00:23:03,130
The war is back on.
580
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,666
I will deal with
you back in Berlin.
581
00:23:06,702 --> 00:23:08,335
Now follow me in your car.
582
00:23:12,708 --> 00:23:14,241
My car?
583
00:23:14,276 --> 00:23:16,877
I...
584
00:23:16,912 --> 00:23:18,745
Well, sir...
585
00:23:18,780 --> 00:23:20,381
my car...
586
00:23:22,184 --> 00:23:24,162
Uh, sir, knowing
your sense of fair play,
587
00:23:24,186 --> 00:23:25,563
you can understand the major
588
00:23:25,587 --> 00:23:27,199
lending his car
to the prisoners.
589
00:23:27,223 --> 00:23:28,566
I mean, it's miles to town.
590
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:30,824
You did what?!
591
00:23:32,294 --> 00:23:33,627
Get in my car!
592
00:23:40,452 --> 00:23:41,919
Amazing, Hogan,
absolutely amazing.
593
00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:42,920
What was, sir?
594
00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:44,922
That the underground
could create such a hoax.
595
00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:46,585
I'm surprised they
fooled the Gestapo.
596
00:23:46,609 --> 00:23:48,492
Well, it didn't surprise me.
597
00:23:48,528 --> 00:23:49,509
I'll remember that.
598
00:23:49,544 --> 00:23:51,495
You'll forget it.
599
00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:56,800
Wilhelm, if you work
for me after the war,
600
00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:59,770
I hope you won't
be so easily fooled.
601
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,791
You and Hochstetter...
602
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:13,483
The war is not over.
603
00:24:13,519 --> 00:24:16,670
The war is not over.
604
00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:17,537
Out?
605
00:24:17,573 --> 00:24:18,573
Out!
606
00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:22,392
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
607
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:27,264
What was that you
said about the Gestapo?
608
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:28,498
Forget it.
609
00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:39,643
He would make a
lousy bookkeeper.
42158
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