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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,752 Carter, I hate to criticize, 2 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,432 but I think you're making the soap too strong. 3 00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:56,421 It's got to be strong 4 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:57,600 if you're going to get rid of the dirt. 5 00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,591 But not strong enough to get rid of the clothes. 6 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:00,770 Well, it's not that strong. 7 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,511 You think it isn't? 8 00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:05,396 Now that's what I call strong. 9 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:08,216 We've got company. 10 00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,557 Burkhalter visiting Klink? 11 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,067 Looks official. Let's listen in. 12 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,733 It is always a great honor 13 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,401 to have you drop in, General Burkhalter. 14 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,225 Klink, I didn't just drop in. 15 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,405 Of course not. 16 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,396 It was very dignified, the way you drove up, sir. 17 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,397 Very impressive. 18 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,577 I remember saying to myself, 19 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,435 "This is not just dropping in." 20 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,416 Would you care for a cigarette, sir? 21 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,740 No. 22 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,242 Would you care for a chocolate-covered candy? 23 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,744 I do not eat candy. 24 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,413 I'm on a diet. 25 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,594 You're on a diet, sir? 26 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,917 Oh, that's ridiculous. 27 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,919 I should be on a diet. 28 00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:04,857 Let the wastebasket get fat. 29 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,859 Now, the reason why I'm here 30 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,411 is a matter of utmost secrecy. 31 00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:13,181 What I'm going to tell you is for your ears alone. 32 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,527 You can depend on me, sir. 33 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:15,917 You know that. 34 00:02:15,953 --> 00:02:18,853 I do not know anything of the kind. 35 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:21,355 But I have no... 36 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,975 choice... 37 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,212 Now, listen. 38 00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:31,716 In the next few days, you can expect... 39 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:32,718 What's wrong with this thing? 40 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,063 You been making coffee with it again? 41 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,554 No. 42 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,652 Very interesting. 43 00:02:38,676 --> 00:02:40,219 Now, as I understand it, 44 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:43,745 what you want me to do is... 45 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,034 is to see that... 46 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,888 That's exactly right. 47 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:56,057 What's exactly right? 48 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,570 You can depend on me, General. 49 00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:01,163 Now remember, no one is to know about this. 50 00:03:01,198 --> 00:03:02,509 Rest assured, General, 51 00:03:02,533 --> 00:03:05,667 wild horses couldn't drag a word out of me. 52 00:03:05,702 --> 00:03:07,680 It's coming in nice and clear now. 53 00:03:07,704 --> 00:03:09,516 I'll be checking with you. 54 00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:10,838 Heil Hitler. 55 00:03:10,874 --> 00:03:13,341 Yeah, I never heard a clearer "Heil Hitler." 56 00:03:13,377 --> 00:03:15,188 What do you think it's all about? 57 00:03:15,212 --> 00:03:16,844 I wish I knew. 58 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,358 They said that it's something that's going to happen 59 00:03:18,382 --> 00:03:20,348 within the next few days, but what? 60 00:03:20,384 --> 00:03:21,528 Why don't we just wait and see 61 00:03:21,552 --> 00:03:23,029 what it is when it happens? 62 00:03:23,053 --> 00:03:25,031 Because when it happens, it may turn out to be 63 00:03:25,055 --> 00:03:28,056 a happening that we don't want to happen. 64 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,570 Anything new on Klink? 65 00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,071 Nothing. He keeps going to the mirror 66 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,395 to look at himself. 67 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:54,265 He's still carrying on that lifelong romance, huh? 68 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,247 Any word from the coffee pot, Kinch? 69 00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,571 Nothing much. 70 00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:01,350 Made a few phone calls... 71 00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:04,353 One to his tailor to get him to rush his new uniform. 72 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:05,844 New uniform, huh? 73 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,524 And a couple of phone calls 74 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,691 about getting the camp cleaned up, 75 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,026 a few buildings painted. 76 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,333 That's interesting. 77 00:04:11,368 --> 00:04:12,717 You think it's a clue, Colonel? 78 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,503 Yeah, it means the something we're looking for is a someone. 79 00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:17,851 I say, that's good thinking. 80 00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:19,207 That's why I'm a colonel. 81 00:04:19,243 --> 00:04:20,837 If it's a someone, who is it? 82 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,828 If I was that smart, I'd be a general. 83 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,848 I have to go to work on Klink. 84 00:04:27,884 --> 00:04:29,517 Come in, come in. 85 00:04:29,553 --> 00:04:31,030 Yes, Hogan, what is it? I'm very busy. 86 00:04:31,054 --> 00:04:32,019 I know you are, sir. 87 00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:33,433 I just wanted to tell you I had the men 88 00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:35,034 cleaning up the barracks, getting uniforms in shape. 89 00:04:35,058 --> 00:04:36,190 That's good. 90 00:04:36,226 --> 00:04:38,705 So you have nothing to worry about when he... 91 00:04:38,729 --> 00:04:40,395 Oops. 92 00:04:41,898 --> 00:04:43,197 What'd you say? 93 00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:44,198 Nothing, nothing. Forget it. 94 00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:45,199 Slip of the tongue. 95 00:04:45,235 --> 00:04:46,546 You said he. Who do you mean? 96 00:04:46,570 --> 00:04:48,370 Nobody, nobody. I didn't say anything. 97 00:04:48,405 --> 00:04:49,704 Hogan, I heard you. 98 00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:51,205 What do you know? 99 00:04:51,241 --> 00:04:52,874 Absolutely nothing. 100 00:04:52,909 --> 00:04:56,210 Only you and General Burkhalter know. 101 00:04:56,246 --> 00:04:57,557 I can tell when a man is lying. 102 00:04:57,581 --> 00:04:59,046 You do know. 103 00:04:59,082 --> 00:05:01,483 Colonel, it's uncanny the way you see through someone. 104 00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,662 Who else knows? 105 00:05:02,686 --> 00:05:04,664 Nobody. I give you my word as an officer and a gentleman. 106 00:05:04,688 --> 00:05:05,820 I haven't told my men. 107 00:05:05,855 --> 00:05:07,667 You're sure the men don't know? 108 00:05:07,691 --> 00:05:10,825 I just gave you my word. 109 00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:14,496 Personally, I think the man's a fraud. 110 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,175 You don't believe the formula 111 00:05:16,199 --> 00:05:17,165 that he's working on? 112 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,501 Really, Colonel, do you believe it? 113 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,502 Well, I must admit that a metal 114 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,014 that's stronger than steel and lighter 115 00:05:22,038 --> 00:05:23,516 is quite a claim, but the high command itself 116 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,506 has checked it. 117 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:25,674 Come on, Colonel. 118 00:05:25,709 --> 00:05:27,008 If the high command is so smart, 119 00:05:27,043 --> 00:05:28,677 what are they doing on the Russian front? 120 00:05:28,712 --> 00:05:30,189 He's a very famous scientist. 121 00:05:30,213 --> 00:05:32,514 Famous, my foot. 122 00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:35,083 I'll bet he's not even listed in Who's Who. 123 00:05:35,118 --> 00:05:38,036 I'll show you how smart you are. 124 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,537 He is listed. 125 00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,706 I looked it up. 126 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,407 There. 127 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:48,379 Carl Svenson, Swedish chemist... 128 00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:51,716 specializing in metal alloys. 129 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,896 You see? I told you he was listed. 130 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,554 I should have bet you... just to teach you a lesson. 131 00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,056 Yeah, I admit I was wrong. 132 00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,736 Now I can see why you're going to all this trouble 133 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,492 to impress him, to win him over. 134 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,005 That shows how much you know. 135 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:03,995 We've already won him over. 136 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,507 We just want to prove to him 137 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,676 what wonderful, warm people we Germans are. 138 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:11,002 Well, yeah, you can't keep a thing like that a secret. 139 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,305 Hogan! 140 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:16,674 I wish I knew how you found out about Dr. Svenson. 141 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:21,595 I bet it was somebody with a big mouth. 142 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,181 Oh, that I can tell you. 143 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:26,033 It was somebody with a big mouth. 144 00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:30,350 All right, here's the story on Svenson. 145 00:06:30,374 --> 00:06:32,674 Everything they know about him from Allied headquarters. 146 00:06:32,709 --> 00:06:34,643 He's quite a boy, a genius. 147 00:06:34,678 --> 00:06:36,844 They know he was working on the alloy, 148 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,691 but they didn't know he'd finished it. 149 00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:40,860 What's so important about Svenson's alloy? 150 00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:42,184 Can you imagine an airplane 151 00:06:42,219 --> 00:06:43,696 that's faster because it's lighter 152 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,032 and with an armor that's stronger than anything we have? 153 00:06:46,056 --> 00:06:48,523 And tanks and battleships, just to name a few? 154 00:06:48,559 --> 00:06:50,370 What are we going to do, Colonel, steal the formula? 155 00:06:50,394 --> 00:06:52,860 No. We wouldn't be sure if we had the right formula, 156 00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:54,374 and we're not even sure he has it with him. 157 00:06:54,398 --> 00:06:56,209 The only thing we can be sure about 158 00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:57,877 is he hasn't turned it over to the Nazis yet. 159 00:06:57,901 --> 00:07:00,380 Otherwise, they wouldn't be making such a big fuss over him. 160 00:07:00,404 --> 00:07:02,637 We have to stop him before he turns it over. 161 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:03,638 That's right. 162 00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,307 How are we going to do that? 163 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,476 There's only one way. 164 00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,012 We got to knock him off. 165 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,481 Well, Dr. Svenson, what do you think 166 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,982 about our little stalag? 167 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,496 Well, I must tell you the truth: 168 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,153 I do not like prisons of any kind. 169 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,488 I don't like them, either, 170 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,824 but we have our jobs to perform. 171 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,327 Yours is science; mine is running a prison. 172 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,663 Well, I suppose a P.O.W. camp is a necessary evil. 173 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:32,834 What a wonderful thought, and how beautifully expressed. 174 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,169 Oh, yes, my men are happy here. 175 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,183 But one hears such terrible stories 176 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,173 of P.O.W. camps. Oh, no... 177 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,520 I'm sorry, Colonel, I didn't know you were busy. 178 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:41,509 I'll come back. Hogan, stay. 179 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,177 We're never too busy for you. 180 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,679 One of our prisoners. 181 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,180 Hogan, what can I do for you? 182 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,851 Look for yourself, sir... Healthy, happy. 183 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,853 As always, I am at your service. 184 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,522 Oh, the men think of me like their father. 185 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,190 Everything all right, huh? 186 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,870 Everything is all right, isn't it, Hogan? 187 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,694 Any complaints? No? 188 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,796 Uh, no complaints, are there? 189 00:08:01,831 --> 00:08:03,309 I'm doing my best, sir. I can't think of one. 190 00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:04,365 Not one complaint. 191 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,650 And you are happy here? 192 00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:08,002 Oh, very happy. Delirious. 193 00:08:08,037 --> 00:08:10,316 Oh, we're one big, happy family. 194 00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:12,485 We live together. We sleep together. 195 00:08:12,509 --> 00:08:14,142 We eat together. 196 00:08:14,177 --> 00:08:16,310 That reminds me, Colonel, there is one complaint. 197 00:08:16,346 --> 00:08:17,328 There's one complaint? 198 00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:18,729 Yes. At dinner last night, 199 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,176 there was just a touch too much lemon 200 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,000 in the sauce Bearnaise. 201 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,002 I remember that. 202 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,171 Remind me; I must talk to the cook about that. 203 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,173 I am very glad to see 204 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,186 that you treat your prisoners so well. 205 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,176 Oh, the colonel's all heart. 206 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,344 Oh, yes, I am. 207 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:34,679 You see, my men are prisoners in name only. 208 00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,848 I give them all the freedom in the world. 209 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:39,028 Oh, well, I must be getting back to town. 210 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,529 Oh, by all means. And may I take you in my car? 211 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,169 It's a nice little town, isn't it? 212 00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:43,338 You have been there? 213 00:08:43,373 --> 00:08:45,507 Oh, yes. Every week, Colonel Klink allows us 214 00:08:45,542 --> 00:08:46,674 to go to town on pass. 215 00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:47,787 It's part of the honor system. 216 00:08:47,811 --> 00:08:48,776 Isn't that right, sir? 217 00:08:48,812 --> 00:08:49,777 Yes, that's right. 218 00:08:49,812 --> 00:08:53,031 Oh, that is very enlightened treatment. 219 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,182 And no one ever tries to escape? 220 00:08:55,218 --> 00:08:58,353 Heavens to Betsy, why should we when we have it so good here? 221 00:08:58,388 --> 00:08:59,532 Incidentally, that reminds me, Colonel, 222 00:08:59,556 --> 00:09:00,700 it may have slipped your mind, 223 00:09:00,724 --> 00:09:02,635 but the men and I haven't been to town in over two weeks. 224 00:09:02,659 --> 00:09:04,637 Some other time? They're going to be awfully disappointed, sir. 225 00:09:04,661 --> 00:09:05,971 I don't want to discuss it now. 226 00:09:05,995 --> 00:09:07,473 This is the first time you've gone back on your word, sir. 227 00:09:07,497 --> 00:09:09,798 I, uh... I don't know how I'm going to tell the men. 228 00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:11,633 Hogan... 229 00:09:11,668 --> 00:09:13,635 Well, I didn't want to spoil the surprise, sir, 230 00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:14,636 but the reason they were going to town 231 00:09:14,671 --> 00:09:15,981 was to get you a birthday present. 232 00:09:16,005 --> 00:09:16,971 It's not my birthday. 233 00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:19,140 Birthdays aren't on the calendar. 234 00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:20,791 It's in the heart. 235 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,494 Colonel... it seems to me 236 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,180 if the men are looking forward to it... 237 00:09:26,215 --> 00:09:28,650 I'd love to, Dr. Svenson, but there's no transportation. 238 00:09:28,685 --> 00:09:30,330 We'll go in your car. It's too crowded. 239 00:09:30,354 --> 00:09:31,831 I wouldn't care. Then it's settled. 240 00:09:31,855 --> 00:09:33,855 I'll get packed. Good! 241 00:09:38,362 --> 00:09:39,828 Hold it! Halt! 242 00:09:39,863 --> 00:09:41,663 Take it easy, Schultz. 243 00:09:41,698 --> 00:09:43,175 I'm just getting a drink of water. 244 00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:44,666 Don't be so jumpy. 245 00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:46,596 You heard what the commandant said. 246 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,837 No monkey business. 247 00:09:48,872 --> 00:09:54,008 So everybody sit down, and no tricks. 248 00:09:54,043 --> 00:09:56,927 Come on, Schultz, you wouldn't really shoot us... 249 00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:57,929 would you? 250 00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,847 I have my instructions. 251 00:09:59,882 --> 00:10:03,851 If necessary, shoot to kill. 252 00:10:03,886 --> 00:10:07,054 So no funny stuff. 253 00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:10,057 All right, fellas, take it easy on Schultz. 254 00:10:11,894 --> 00:10:13,873 Boy, some vacation. 255 00:10:13,897 --> 00:10:15,724 Might just as well be back at camp 256 00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:17,443 for all the good we're doing here. 257 00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,699 I wouldn't say that. 258 00:10:18,734 --> 00:10:19,878 Svenson's room is on this floor. 259 00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:21,102 At least we're close to him. 260 00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:23,048 Yeah, well, we ain't gonna get any closer, 261 00:10:23,072 --> 00:10:26,057 not with that bloated Doberman pinscher watching us. 262 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,229 I'm getting sleepy. 263 00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,410 Think I'll take a nap, too. 264 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:46,728 ♪ Lullaby, lullaby... ♪ 265 00:11:51,094 --> 00:11:53,928 Room 406, please. 266 00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:57,409 Hello, Dr. Svenson? 267 00:11:57,433 --> 00:11:58,733 Is Colonel Klink there? 268 00:11:58,768 --> 00:12:00,735 General Burkhalter calling. 269 00:12:00,770 --> 00:12:03,204 Send that boy to camp. 270 00:12:05,374 --> 00:12:06,890 Hello, Klink? 271 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:10,177 You idiot! What are you doing in town? 272 00:12:10,212 --> 00:12:13,881 I am here at your office waiting for you. 273 00:12:15,552 --> 00:12:19,020 Are you arguing with me, Klink? 274 00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:20,688 Now listen. 275 00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:24,525 I want you back here at camp right away. 276 00:12:24,561 --> 00:12:26,027 I am counting. 277 00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:27,528 One! 278 00:12:27,564 --> 00:12:28,863 Two! 279 00:12:28,898 --> 00:12:29,898 Three! 280 00:12:32,735 --> 00:12:35,055 I think he'll break some records getting back to camp. 281 00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:36,637 Got the bomb? 282 00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:37,672 Right here. 283 00:12:38,775 --> 00:12:40,319 It's a most unusual fountain pen... 284 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,959 For writing off people. 285 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:43,155 And the whole thing is a bomb? 286 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,312 We're only blowing up one guy. 287 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:48,766 How's it work? 288 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,445 Well, you take the top off, it'll explode. 289 00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:51,680 If you want a delayed action, 290 00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:52,948 you just twist this little ring 291 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:53,938 that the clip's on. 292 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,539 It's like an egg timer. 293 00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:57,019 Yeah, instead of the egg being finished, 294 00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:59,160 it's the guy that gets finished. 295 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,305 I wish it wasn't Svenson. 296 00:13:00,329 --> 00:13:01,640 He seems like a nice guy. 297 00:13:01,664 --> 00:13:03,731 I'm not crazy about the idea, either. 298 00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:05,633 But it's got to be done. 299 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,150 He's going to wake himself up. 300 00:13:11,174 --> 00:13:12,140 How can he? 301 00:13:12,175 --> 00:13:13,274 He can't hear anything. 302 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,544 Come in. 303 00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:19,613 Doctor? 304 00:13:19,649 --> 00:13:21,249 Colonel Hogan. 305 00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,517 I thought Colonel Klink was here. 306 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:26,520 Yes, he was, but he left in quite a hurry. 307 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:27,583 Some business at the camp. 308 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:28,573 Won't you sit down, 309 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,074 I'll be with you in a minute. 310 00:13:34,798 --> 00:13:36,998 Speaking of business, doctor. 311 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,450 Are you going to give the Nazis your new metal alloy? 312 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,555 That is supposed to be a secret. 313 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:44,555 Not anymore. 314 00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,424 Whose side are you on? 315 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,859 I'm not on either side. 316 00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:50,639 I'm not a politician, I'm a scientist. 317 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,263 All I want is to end the war. 318 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,359 Good. 319 00:13:53,383 --> 00:13:56,717 And we want to be the ones to end it. 320 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,431 Doctor, I can get you out of Germany 321 00:13:58,455 --> 00:14:00,020 with the Allies in two days. 322 00:14:00,055 --> 00:14:01,055 No. 323 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,618 As soon as I finish the formula... 324 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:03,807 You mean it isn't finished? 325 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,043 Two or three more months work. 326 00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:07,662 That's good news. 327 00:14:07,697 --> 00:14:10,314 Gives me more time to swing you over to our side. 328 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,651 I told you, I am not taking sides. 329 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,486 You are wasting your time. 330 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,033 I don't mind wasting a little time, Doctor, 331 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,123 if I can get you to see my point of view. 332 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,894 I am going downstairs for a drink. 333 00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:24,930 Will you join me? 334 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:25,930 I'd love to. 335 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,064 Eh... 336 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,266 You want to write something? 337 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,313 Oh, I was going to send somebody a message, 338 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:31,902 but, uh, it can wait. 339 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:41,079 ♪ Everything happens to me ♪ 340 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:46,184 ♪ At first my heart thought you could break a jinx for me ♪ 341 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:51,122 ♪ Und love would turn a trip to end despair ♪ 342 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:54,225 ♪ But now I just can't fool this head ♪ 343 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,260 ♪ But he's for me ♪ 344 00:14:56,296 --> 00:15:00,815 ♪ I mortgage all my castles in the air ♪ 345 00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:03,834 ♪ I telegraphed and phoned ♪ 346 00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:06,153 ♪ I sent an airmail special, too. ♪ 347 00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:07,850 Look, if you don't like New York, 348 00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,285 there's always California.! Shh. 349 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,643 ♪ And there was even postage due ♪ 350 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:16,880 ♪ I fell in love just once and then it had to be with you ♪ 351 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:22,620 ♪ Everything happens to me ♪ 352 00:15:32,082 --> 00:15:33,181 Here's your drink. 353 00:15:34,718 --> 00:15:37,118 I, uh, didn't realize 354 00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,864 you were such a music lover. 355 00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:39,965 I'll have to tell her 356 00:15:39,989 --> 00:15:42,134 how much you enjoyed her performance. 357 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,240 You know her? 358 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,810 You know that wonderful girl? 359 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:46,877 Can I meet her? 360 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,646 I think it could be arranged. 361 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,048 Fine! How soon? 362 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:52,967 Why not right now? 363 00:15:53,002 --> 00:15:54,468 Wonderful! 364 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,158 How's it all going? 365 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,793 I think I found the good doctor's weakness. 366 00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:05,496 In the report Kinch received from headquarters, 367 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,343 what did it say about his being married? 368 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,567 Said he'd been down the aisle, 369 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,335 made the trip four times. 370 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,098 He's practically a commuter. 371 00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:16,657 Yep, the good doctor's a sucker for dames. 372 00:16:16,692 --> 00:16:18,692 You know, with a brainy fellow like that, 373 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,395 I thought he'd have had a more dignified weakness. 374 00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:23,197 You know, like listening to symphonies. 375 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,753 Well, everybody hears a different drummer. 376 00:16:30,039 --> 00:16:31,879 I think I'm going to pay Magda a visit. 377 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,552 How does she fit in to all this? 378 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,442 Now, if you were in love with a girl 379 00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:37,711 that was going to go to Hollywood for a screen test, 380 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:38,712 wouldn't you follow her? 381 00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:39,580 Of course I would. 382 00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:40,726 Any man would. 383 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:41,983 The doctor's a man. 384 00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:47,605 Ja? Who is it? 385 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,000 An admirer. 386 00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:56,291 I had to see you. 387 00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:57,926 I've never seen such a performance. 388 00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,228 I've never been so moved. 389 00:17:00,252 --> 00:17:02,486 Oh, ja, I noticed you. 390 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,154 You were the only one in the audience 391 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,489 who wasn't applauding. 392 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,490 Well, that's right. 393 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,159 I was so moved, I couldn't move. 394 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,094 You really liked me? 395 00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,174 Your talent is for the world. 396 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,432 Oh! 397 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,835 Excuse me, but, uh... who are you? 398 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,882 I'm a Hollywood talent scout. 399 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,271 In the middle of the war? 400 00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:22,272 I'm a neutral. 401 00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,273 Ah. 402 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,553 Tell me, have you ever thought 403 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:25,687 of being a Hollywood star? 404 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,978 A Hollywood star? 405 00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:29,613 Me? 406 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:30,726 Please, don't say no, 407 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,927 they need you. 408 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,685 But, uh, how would I get there? 409 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,253 Leave that to me. 410 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,055 There is a war going on. 411 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,435 Just let me hear you say 412 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,869 "I want to be a Hollywood star," 413 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,471 and I'll arrange for the screen test. 414 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,146 Well, then, yes, of course, 415 00:17:45,181 --> 00:17:46,580 I want to be a Hollywood star! 416 00:17:46,615 --> 00:17:47,581 Then it's settled. 417 00:17:47,616 --> 00:17:48,760 Oh, incidentally, 418 00:17:48,784 --> 00:17:49,995 these flowers are from another admirer. 419 00:17:50,019 --> 00:17:52,119 A very important man. 420 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,388 "For the flower of my heart. 421 00:17:54,424 --> 00:17:55,789 Woodrow Eisner" 422 00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,336 Well, that's not his name. 423 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,636 It's Dr. Carl Svenson. 424 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,194 A famous scientist. 425 00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:01,862 Svenson... 426 00:18:01,897 --> 00:18:03,130 I never heard of him. 427 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,177 Well, he's been doing some secret work, 428 00:18:05,201 --> 00:18:06,345 but he's very famous. 429 00:18:06,369 --> 00:18:07,819 He'd love you to have 430 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,865 a late supper with him tonight. 431 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,557 Well, why he doesn't ask me himself? 432 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,557 Well, he's shy. 433 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,537 Do you know what he said to me? 434 00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,806 He said, "You ask her, 435 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,997 I wouldn't know how to speak to a goddess." 436 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:22,049 He said that? 437 00:18:22,085 --> 00:18:23,050 About me? 438 00:18:23,086 --> 00:18:25,770 She really said that about me? 439 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:26,854 I can't believe it. 440 00:18:26,889 --> 00:18:27,917 Well, maybe you'll believe it 441 00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:30,085 when she comes to your room for supper. 442 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,241 She's coming to my room? 443 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,321 Insisted on it. 444 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,972 She wants to get to know you better. 445 00:18:33,996 --> 00:18:37,998 Oh, how wonderful! 446 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:42,169 For the first time in my life, I'm really in love. 447 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,804 You've been married four times. 448 00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:47,041 Oh, that doesn't mean that I was in love. 449 00:18:47,076 --> 00:18:50,711 No, Colonel, this is the real thing. 450 00:18:50,746 --> 00:18:52,280 Have you never felt the love 451 00:18:52,315 --> 00:18:54,315 that comes to a man once in a lifetime? 452 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,733 Dozens of times. 453 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,484 Another unhappy message 454 00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,428 from Allied headquarters, Colonel. 455 00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:07,255 I don't blame them. 456 00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:09,714 It's been almost a week and I haven't been able 457 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,950 to get in touch with Svenson or Magda. 458 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,385 Headquarters is right... 459 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,031 I should have knocked Svenson off in town 460 00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:17,065 when I had the chance, 461 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,283 instead of trying to play Cupid. 462 00:19:18,307 --> 00:19:19,790 But if your plan had worked, 463 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,469 we would have had Svenson on our side. 464 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,993 Yeah, but it didn't work. 465 00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,506 Now he's going to complete the formula 466 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,745 and give it to the Nazis. 467 00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,132 Company coming. 468 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:43,948 General Burkhalter, 469 00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,016 what an unexpected pleasure to see you again, sir. 470 00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:47,751 Unexpected, yes. 471 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,086 Pleasure, no. 472 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,866 This is Herr Grosser, of the Gestapo. 473 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:51,855 Heil Hitler. 474 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,168 What reason would the Gestapo have 475 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,308 for being here? 476 00:19:54,343 --> 00:19:56,760 Of course, I will do everything in my power 477 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,716 to cooperate fully with you, sir. 478 00:19:58,748 --> 00:20:03,450 Last Tuesday you went to town with Dr. Carl Svenson. 479 00:20:03,485 --> 00:20:04,501 Is that correct? 480 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:05,168 Yes, sir. 481 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,369 But that was all right, 482 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:08,183 General Burkhalter told me to keep an eye on him. 483 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,808 On that evening, he met a young lady, 484 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,709 Magda Tischler, 485 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:16,847 with whom he became romantically involved. 486 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:17,848 Since meeting her, 487 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,449 he has not worked on his formula, 488 00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,786 for which our government is waiting. 489 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,771 Well, that's love for you. 490 00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:27,274 Oh, it was a terrible thing. 491 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,503 Klink! 492 00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:31,528 You were responsible for Svenson. 493 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,514 How did it happen that he met this young lady? 494 00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:35,677 Because, sir, you ordered me 495 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,296 to come back here to camp at once. 496 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,397 No!! And when I got here, 497 00:20:38,421 --> 00:20:39,665 you weren't here, not even a message. 498 00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:40,671 No! Yes! 499 00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:42,840 Sir. Sir. 500 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:48,112 "Returned to camp at order of General Burkhalter." 501 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,629 This isn't true. 502 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,493 I was at my wife's sister's wedding. 503 00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:55,019 "General says he was at wedding." 504 00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,487 Klink! 505 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:59,139 Are you trying to crawl out of your responsibility? 506 00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:01,208 No, sir. No, sir, no. 507 00:21:01,244 --> 00:21:04,028 Gentlemen, I must be honest with you. 508 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:05,963 When I make my report to Berlin, 509 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:08,949 you are both going to be in very big trouble. 510 00:21:08,984 --> 00:21:11,544 Very big trouble. 511 00:21:12,422 --> 00:21:14,049 But I did get a call 512 00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,150 from General Burkhalter. 513 00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:16,251 Klink! 514 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,742 You are the last one I would call. 515 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,312 It's your fault he met that girl. 516 00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:22,791 How do you like that? 517 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,726 The romance did take. 518 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:25,716 Yeah, but now the Gestapo 519 00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:27,351 are going to put a fire under Svenson. 520 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:28,430 Yeah, I know. 521 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,432 We've got to figure some way to get to him 522 00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:31,288 before the Gestapo does. 523 00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:33,002 This is a big day... More company! 524 00:21:33,026 --> 00:21:34,870 We've got to reach Svenson and the girl. 525 00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:35,859 Who is it? 526 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,895 You just said it: Svenson and the girl. 527 00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:44,802 Colonel Hogan! 528 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:46,982 You are just the man that I want to see. 529 00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:48,017 Yeah, and there's somebody 530 00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:49,239 who wants to see you, look... 531 00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:50,107 We want to get married, 532 00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,753 and we want you to be our best man. 533 00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:52,743 Congratulations, 534 00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:54,255 but your honeymoon's going to be delayed. 535 00:21:54,279 --> 00:21:57,113 I am giving up my career for Carl. 536 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,282 I'm no longer interested in Hollywood. 537 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:03,370 I just want to be his wife. 538 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:05,451 I hate to break the bad news to you kids, 539 00:22:05,475 --> 00:22:07,085 but the Nazis don't like romance... 540 00:22:07,109 --> 00:22:08,074 Especially yours. 541 00:22:08,110 --> 00:22:09,593 What are you talking about? 542 00:22:09,628 --> 00:22:11,595 Here comes the answer man now. 543 00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:13,263 Dr. Svenson! 544 00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:14,631 You tell them! 545 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,611 Didn't I get a call from General Burkhalter 546 00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:18,268 in my room? 547 00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:19,347 Not that you called, General. 548 00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:21,038 That's enough. 549 00:22:21,074 --> 00:22:23,052 This woman is under arrest. 550 00:22:23,076 --> 00:22:24,274 You can't do that. 551 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:26,310 We are being married. 552 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,778 What are your grounds for arrest? 553 00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:30,013 We cannot allow anything to interfere 554 00:22:30,048 --> 00:22:32,516 with your working on the formula. 555 00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:35,636 That makes this woman an enemy of the Third Reich. 556 00:22:35,671 --> 00:22:38,472 In that case, I have stopped work on the formula. 557 00:22:38,507 --> 00:22:39,623 Colonel Klink! 558 00:22:40,676 --> 00:22:42,092 Place them both under arrest 559 00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:43,805 while I make my report to Berlin. 560 00:22:43,829 --> 00:22:46,696 I'll pick up the prisoners later. 561 00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:50,567 Who knows... 562 00:22:50,602 --> 00:22:55,238 there may be a few more prisoners by then, huh? 563 00:23:03,682 --> 00:23:04,648 Excuse me, sir, 564 00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:05,763 I believe you dropped this. 565 00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:21,312 Come with me! 566 00:23:27,773 --> 00:23:29,150 All right, get down into the tunnel. 567 00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:30,519 There'll be somebody at the other end 568 00:23:30,543 --> 00:23:31,442 to get you to England. 569 00:23:31,477 --> 00:23:32,443 I don't know 570 00:23:32,478 --> 00:23:33,922 how to thank you for all of this. 571 00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:35,056 Giving the formula to our side 572 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,046 is thanks enough. 573 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:37,081 Oh, wait a minute. 574 00:23:37,115 --> 00:23:38,755 There is another thanks you can give me... 575 00:23:38,784 --> 00:23:40,584 A kiss from the bride. 576 00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:41,585 Good bye. 577 00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:42,620 Good luck. 578 00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,326 Another day, another dollar. 579 00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:57,813 You all saw what happened! 580 00:23:57,837 --> 00:24:00,136 I was never near the car when it exploded! 581 00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:01,104 Was I! 582 00:24:01,139 --> 00:24:02,105 That's right. 583 00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:03,217 And that's what I'll tell them 584 00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:04,074 when they ask me. 585 00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:04,908 And don't forget, 586 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,688 I was right here with General Burkhalter. 587 00:24:06,712 --> 00:24:07,952 Well, let's see, now, were you? 588 00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:09,179 You know I was. 589 00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:10,781 Yes, of course. Yes, you were. 590 00:24:10,816 --> 00:24:13,161 But there will be a very thorough investigation. 591 00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:14,217 That's right! 592 00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:16,219 Who knows what they might find out. 593 00:24:16,254 --> 00:24:17,654 There is one thing, though. 594 00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,656 Nobody will get to see his report. 595 00:24:19,692 --> 00:24:21,402 That's right, no report. 596 00:24:21,426 --> 00:24:22,793 What about Svenson? 597 00:24:22,828 --> 00:24:24,205 That's right, what about Dr. Svenson? 598 00:24:24,229 --> 00:24:25,529 I thought I saw Svenson 599 00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:27,230 get in the car with the Gestapo man, 600 00:24:27,265 --> 00:24:28,231 didn't you? 601 00:24:28,266 --> 00:24:29,878 Yes, I think I saw that, too. 602 00:24:29,902 --> 00:24:32,569 I know I saw it with my own eyes. 603 00:24:32,605 --> 00:24:33,715 But what if Dr. Svenson... 604 00:24:33,739 --> 00:24:35,506 Are you going to question the general? 605 00:24:35,541 --> 00:24:36,541 General Burkhalter, 606 00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:38,052 if you saw it with your own eyes, 607 00:24:38,076 --> 00:24:39,796 I saw it with my own eyes. 42007

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