Original subtitles

[Paul] I came to New York with a travel toothbrush.

It's one of those cheap ones with a little plastic cap on top.

Back then, I would, uh, couch surf, mostly with hookups,

sometimes with older women who enjoyed watching me bathe their dogs.

Got scratched up real bad back then.

But a few months ago, I found myself here in Queens.

And I, uh, found a place to call home.

And I found a bed with Transformers sheets that I share with another adult man.

You know, just last week, I finally got a new toothbrush.

It's electric. Came with a little stand. Plugs into the wall. It's real nice.

Reaches all the way back.

But I still keep this one,

just to remind myself of a time

when I was a stranger here.

So that's why I'm running for president of the homeowners association.

To make us all feel just a little less like strangers.

To make us all feel a little more at home.

-Thank you. -Whoo!

-We love you! -Yeah!

[Billie] We love you!

-I share a bed with that man. We spoon. -That's the guy.

Mr. Baker, the question was about potholes.

Yes. [clears throat]

I'm against them.

Whoo!

Give Donna a cognition test!

-[Anton shushes] -[Issa shushes]

-[moderator] Ma'am. -We were all thinking it.

Next up, we have our incumbent, HOA president, Sandy Adler.

-Thank you, Doreen. Thank you all. -[whoops] Go, Daddy!

First of all, I just wanna say that I was very moved by the toothbrush thing.

-Thank you. -I usually carry floss picks with me,

but my daughter Nina told me not to pick a fight tonight. [chuckles]

-[all laughing] -Sandy.

And I you won't. And I won't.

Fuck, he's really good.

I know. 17 straight terms. Polls have him up by four points.

-There are polls for this? Mmm. -Yeah, I made them. Yeah. Yeah.

Donna, you're up next.

There's a squirrel in my house that brings me Turkish delights.

[chuckles]

-Cognition test! -Issa.

[♪♪ "Bad Advice" playing]

♪♪ I need some bad advice ♪♪

♪♪ Stay up tonight ♪♪

♪♪ We'll make it out alive ♪♪

[Anton] I'm telling you, he doesn't even kill ants.

-Thank you so much again for helping me... -[Issa speaking Spanish]

What?

I thought you spoke Spanish.

Yeah, I mean, he's genuinely kind, Sharon.

He's like Mr. Rogers, if Mr. Rogers had figured out his hair.

-Aw, you mean that? -Go away.

You can't hear me say nice things.

-Okay. Guys? -[Issa, Anton] Ooh. Can you hold?

Okay, take a look at this map. There are 83 votes up for grabs today,

and we're taking a shot at every single goddamn one.

-This is a two-man race now. -[Anton] Ugh, poor Donna.

-This is a two-man race now. -[Anton] Ugh, poor Donna. -She drove straight through that Carvel. -[Billie] Oh, no, she's fine.

-She drove straight through that Carvel. -[Billie] Oh, no, she's fine.

-Uh, where's Samir? -Mentally or physically?

-Mentally, in deep denial. -Hmm.

-Physically, in his bedroom. -[Anton] Mm-hmm.

-Sharon, I'm back. -[Issa] Oh.

[in Spanish accent] Lisa? [normal] Oh, sorry. Lisa?

[Carly] Samy, I'm just worried.

Carly, baby, I promise you it's gonna be fine.

Look, we can FaceTime. We can Zoom.

Look, we can FaceTime. We can Zoom. All distance is the same now.

All distance is the same now.

Ugh. How did I match to Seattle? It was so deep on my rank list.

Let's not do that. Let's think positive.

Dental residency is insanely competitive.

Plus, Seattle is an amazing city, right?

Good seafood. Great-Great needles.

It's so frustrating. I had my entire life planned out in New York,

and now I don't know what I'm gonna...

[sighs] Carly. Oh.

Baby, you're cutting out.

It said my connection was unstable.

Aw! That's why we practice, though, right? That's why we practice.

Samir, how are we supposed to make it through a full year of this?

Hey, do I look worried?

We got this, okay?

Also, look, I added Seattle to my weather app.

That way when it rains for you, it rains for me.

Baby, that's Seattle, Texas.

There's a Seattle, Texas?

Are you sure you didn't match there?

And that's what I thought. Yep.

Okay, we can expect your vote? Oh!

-Janice, you're an angel! -Okay, guys, how's it going?

-Paul Baker? -Yeah.

Patty from Elm Street is being such an asshole about drainage.

-I can't. -Fair.

-Okay, let me handle. Yeah. -[Julia] Take her.

Hey, Jules, thank you again for helping out. I really appreciate it.

I'm just so proud of you

-for getting involved. -Mmm.

Do you know I once organized an entire front row at a Marc Jacobs show?

-Oh, really? For what cause? -Mm-hmm.

-Just to get dinner after. -Oh.

-[♪♪ instrumental music plays] -Guys, the coverage is starting.

-Oh. -Carly. Samir.

-[Issa] Oh, my God. Okay. [vocalizes] -[Samir] Coming!

Hello, everyone who lives east of Forest Avenue and west of Franklin Road.

I'm Katie Yeoh, senior at Garfield High School

and president of the journalism club.

-I founded that club. Do you know that? -[all] Yes.

-Shh. -I'm covering the HOA election today

because that is the assignment Mr. De la Croix gave me.

Okay. Well, that's a good beat, Katie. Be grateful.

[Katie] ...excitement in the air, we're hoping for...

You guys good?

-And I'll be here to cover it all... -Hmm? Yes. We are great.

-Yeah. -Great.

[Katie] Polls have been open for just under an hour, and so far,

incumbent Sandy Adler has eight marbles to Paul Baker's six.

-[Paul chuckles] -Okay, okay.

Oh, my God! Okay!

-[Anton] Yes, yes, yes! -We're in this thing, people.

Okay, uh, let's keep the phone lines hot.

-[Anton] Yes, yes, yes. Okay. -[knocks on door]

[Billie] I'll get that. Okay.

-Hi. -[Billie] Wow.

-Hi. -Hi.

-[stammers] Come in. -Oh. Thank you.

-Thank you. -Paul Baker. [chuckles]

-Oh, Sandy, what are you doing here? -[Sandy] Hey.

-Oh, we just stopped by to wish you luck. -Aw.

You're a good kid, you know?

-Class all the way with this guy, huh? -Yeah.

Truly, I-I walk in the... in the footsteps of giants.

-[Nina] Mm-hmm. -Hey, real quick,

is there a restroom I could use?

You get to be my age, it's, like, every five minutes.

-Yeah. Okay. -[Sandy] Doctor says

-Yeah. Okay. -[Sandy] Doctor says it's not a prostate thing or anything, but, you know, then what is it?

it's not a prostate thing or anything, but, you know, then what is it?

That's what I wanna know.

-Oh, I'm, uh, Billie Schaeffer... -Hi.

...by the way, Paul Baker's campaign manager.

Nina Adler, Sandy's daughter.

[chuckling] Your dad seems so sweet.

-Oh, I know. He's the best. -Aw.

Yeah, he means the world to me, and...

and, you know, the HOA means the world to him.

Oh, my God, you're standing so close to me. [chuckles]

-Oh, yeah. I'm intimidating you. -What?

Here's the thing about 70-year-old men,

Billie Schaeffer, they're bored as fuck.

They're retired.

Their wives want them out of the house, so they find a little hobby.

And for my dad, he found the HOA. Now, you probably don't get this,

but when you stop working, you can get a little lost.

I actually do understand that.

The HOA is not for you.

Do you understand?

Do you all live here, huh? All five of you?

Yes.

You know, three or more unrelated adults living under the same roof

is what the city of Queens likes to call a zoning violation.

It's just a little tidbit I picked up from the HOA.

Okay.

I mean, this is the time of your life when your friends are your family.

Oh, my God, that's so cute.

Like, you think you're the first people to be young and adorable in New York?

Don't answer that. Not so.

So guess what?

If your friend unseats my dad today, this little sex dungeon that you all reside in...

-[toilet flushes] -...I'm gonna report it.

And then I'm gonna blow it to pieces.

-[Paul] When it comes to recycling... -You ready, Daddy?

-[Paul] When it comes to recycling... -You ready, Daddy? -Yeah. Yeah, Nin, yeah. -Yeah?

-Yeah. Yeah, Nin, yeah. -Yeah?

-Did you get it all out? -[Sandy] Well, most of it.

-Okay, great. -Well, happy election day, gang.

-[Nina] Happy election day. -[Paul chuckles] Good luck, guys.

-May the best man win, you know? -Good luck. All right.

-Bye. Okay. -[Sandy] Come on, Nin.

Okay, bye, guys.

Take care. Drive safe.

[whispers] He peed so much.

So many different directions.

What?

[Samir] It's not fair. This is our home.

It's fucking blackmail.

No, it's politics. I mean, she's House of Cards'ing us.

She touched you?

-What? -What?

Okay, that's it, right? I-I-I'll just...

I will drop out, and everything will be fine.

No, you can't drop out once voting started,

and we're already 30 marbles deep.

Fuck. Ugh, dude.

Oh, this is all my fault, man.

[stutters] I was just trying to lay roots, but I guess instead

I'm like one of those roots that cracked the sidewalk.

So, I'm so sorry, guys.

-You didn't know. Yeah. -No, no.

-Guys, new results are in. -Oh, my God.

-[♪♪ instrumental music plays] -[Katie] Well,

we've got an exciting race update.

Newcomer Paul Baker has taken the lead...

-No. -...with 21 marbles to Adler's 19.

-[Samir] Oh, shit. -[Issa] Oh, my God, this is it.

We're gonna have to move out.

[Katie chattering on TV]

No.

-We're not. -What?

If there's one thing I know, it's how not to get a job.

It's just a question of manpower and targeting.

-This is Kerry, Iowa, 2004. -What is that? Is that a shooting?

No.

-Right? -No.

Okay. No.

Wait, I-I'm sorry, Bills. W-What are you saying?

I'm saying we're gonna tank this campaign.

-[gasps] -Samir and Carly, man the phones.

Issa and Anton, we need boots on the ground at the library.

Julia Fox, you are famous, and I don't feel comfortable bossing you around.

That's fair.

Okay, people, this is no longer a campaign for Paul Baker.

This is a campaign against him.

We are going to lose this election and keep our house. Giddyap.

How do you feel about "giddyap"?

Not great. Let me run that back.

-Okay. -Um...

-Let's go! -There we go.

-Yes! Let's lose this! -Yeah.

This is crazy. I always thought we were gonna live in that house forever.

And it'd be so cute, and I'd get sad,

and then I would move out and try to spin off, and that wouldn't work,

so I'd move back in, and it would get cute again.

[footsteps approaching]

-David, David. David. -Oh. Oh.

-Hi, David. I love this vest. -Hi.

Um, did you decide who you're voting for today?

I did. Our phone call last week convinced me.

Okay. Okay, David, David, I wonder if you've been convinced too quickly.

-Yeah. -Right? You have a tendency to do that.

-Ugh. -Remember the time-share?

-What? -David.

You said that Paul Baker was like home to you. [chuckles]

-What? -No, no, I don't... No. [chuckles]

Yeah, you said you never recycle,

but you do it now to impress him, even when he's not there.

You said that?

-Hmm? I... -Oh, excuse me.

-Hi. What are you doing? -Oh, shit. It's the librarian. Charm her.

-Charm her. -You can't talk to the voters.

Oh. Um, hi.

-Hi. -Are-Are-Are you the librarian here?

-Yes. -Thank you for your service.

[clicks tongue] Look at your name. Margaux, like Château.

Or "Mar-gocks," like no name we've ever heard.

Okay. Well, you guys seem great.

-Oh, thank you. -Thank you. [chuckles]

But, um...

[Irish accent] You'll have to head out now, lassies.

-[normal voice] Sorry? -What?

Um, sorry, just Irish.

I felt weird about asking you guys to leave, so I was doing Irish.

[whispers] Oh, my God, she's a weird little guy.

[old-timey accent] Wow. So, do you work here then?

[old-timey accent] Wow. So, do you work here then? Is this your here salt mine, where you're burning your midnight oil?

Is this your here salt mine, where you're burning your midnight oil?

-Me, if I was on a black-and-white photo. -[chuckles]

[Western accent] Well, you know, this here is my saloon, if you will and please.

[Western accent] Well, then you better pour me a whiskey

and call me your mayor because I wanna get to know this place.

[chuckles]

[whispers] Go. Voter intimidate. Go.

[normal voice] David, David, Paul Baker had a gun to my head

as I said those things, so...

-What? -Yes.

Things are heating up at the Bayside North Library,

and we are covering it all.

So you're doing long distance.

-Yeah. -That's great.

-Yeah. -Okay.

[sighs] Thank you, Julia Fox, 'cause some people were saying...

Carly, Julia Fox said we're gonna be fine.

Oh. She's on the phone.

No, I mean you're gonna break up, but...

-What? No. Why? -That's how long distance works.

You give it your all for the first three to four months,

and eventually your relationship will dwindle down

to sending each other Instagram memes.

You know, and there's chatbots for that. So, what's the point?

But that's not always how it goes, though, right?

Well, I-I mean, not-not always. Like, Paris, London, that works.

Even Paris, Lisbon kinda works.

Paris, Barcelona...

Come on, I don't need to tell you.

-Bills, where have you been? -Yeah. No, no, I know, I know.

I'm up, like, six marbles. I-It's a disaster. I'm gonna win.

Hey, it's okay. I'm on it, okay?

-I called in backup. [pants] -What backup?

Well, if you wanna lose this election, we need people who make you look unelectable.

-You didn't. -I did.

-Billie. -Baker!

Let's fuck shit up!

-[all shouting] -[♪♪ upbeat music playing]

[groans]

Samir, I have to go.

-No. Julia. -Yeah, I have to go. I'm sorry.

-I'm really turned on by them. -Julia, no.

No, this is exactly my type. I know. I'm sick. I'm sick. I have to go.

-I'm sorry! -Julia!

-I told you everything I know. -Jul...

-Okay, bye, guys. We're gonna lose. -Bye, Jules.

[all clamoring]

Okay.

-Big bros! -Ow.

I need you to drag my name through the mother-loving shitter!

[all] Yeah!

[all cheering, clamoring]

You're gonna lose!

[♪♪ music ends]

[scratchy voice] And I won't have any of your friends.

[scratchy voice] Well, if you won't wear my gloves...

Joanne, between us, Paul Baker's a racist.

And he knew Ghislaine. Well.

This morning, you told me that Paul Baker found out you were allergic to almonds,

and now he calls every restaurant ahead of time to make sure there's no almonds.

That man has my marble.

You said that to Side-bangs Joanne?

Yeah, back when we were pro-Baker. Issa, I was pitching him.

-Pretty close race, huh? -Oh, God.

Seeing a lot of marbles in your buddy's jar.

-Yeah, we're working on it. -Okay, well, tick, tick.

That's the sound of the seconds counting down on a clock.

God, you are such an intense person.

Thank you so much. I strive for that.

-What do you do for a living? -I'm a therapist.

-Oh, my God. Wow. Do you have a card? -Yes.

I don't take insurance, though.

That's totally fine. My parents are rich. Don't tell my friends.

-Do you have guilt around that? -Yeah, it's really hard.

-[Nina] Yeah. -It's just hard for no one to know.

-I understand. Save it for the couch. -Of course. Thanks, Mom.

-Oh, God, it's happening. -It's okay.

Don't fuck this up, or I will ruin you.

Do you think she can separate work and personal?

Yeah, I think she's probably really good at that.

-[Samir] Yes, thank you. -Thank you. Billie, one vote for Adler. And your name is? Wow! Your name's spelled like "boner."

I got Garcia for Adler, twice!

Yo, PB! Can I tell this guy about the time you hooked up with OJ's parents?

Today, and today only, Roach, yes, you may.

Yes! -[OJ] Saved their marriage, by the way.

Baby. Did you know that Seattle to New York

is basically like London to Paris?

Oh, um...

Oh, um... I don't think it is. I think it's more like London to, like, Moscow.

I don't think it is. I think it's more like London to, like, Moscow.

I don't think it is. I think it's more like London to, like, Moscow. When you think about Europe...

When you think about Europe...

-Yeah. -[♪♪ instrumental music plays]

New tally! New tally! There's a new tally!

Jesus Christ, Katie. Find your mark. The camera's losing you.

Well, it's officially neck-and-neck

as incumbent Sandy Adler has caught back up to Paul Baker.

-Forty-one to 41. -Okay, yes!

Yes!

I'm hearing from the old lady who sits near the marbles

that the HOA has never seen turnout like this before.

And with one marble left to drop, this one is a nail-biter.

Only one left. Okay, Billie, who is it? Who is it?

Uh... Eighty, ninety. It's Mr. Lee.

Shit. No.

I shoveled his driveway last week. I'm like a son to him.

-We're fucked. I'm gonna win. -[Billie] Fuck.

-Damn it. -[Paul] Fuck.

No, okay, wait. Hey, guys.

-It all comes down to this. -[Schnee] Yes, sir. Yep.

As Mr. Lee goes, so goes the nation!

-[Brent] Yes! -Let's do it!

-Yes! -[Paul] We're not giving up.

-Yes! Let's do this shit! -Yeah. Yeah.

And if I could just also...

Sorry, desk chair... Um...

Just wanted to let everyone know that no matter what happens, if we...

if we get to stay or if we have to go, I won't be living here anymore.

-[Paul] What? -Wait, what?

'Cause I'll be moving...

I'll be moving to Seattle.

-Whoa. -Whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait. Wait, Samy, what?

Wait, Samy, what?

No, it's okay. You guys can stay if Paul Baker loses.

-It's fine. I've decided. -But we're not...

I decided, baby. We're moving to Seattle.

-[chuckling] -The Windy City. The Windy City.

I don't think that's Seattle.

Windy City of brotherly love.

And so then, Mr. Lee, we all realized,

whoops, Sandy Adler actually is the man for the job.

whoops, Sandy Adler actually is the man for the job. So, Mr. Lee, what we're asking you is, please just vote for the other guy.

So, Mr. Lee, what we're asking you is, please just vote for the other guy.

Right, Bills?

-Hmm? -[Paul] Right?

Yes, yes.

Change isn't always a good thing, Mr. Lee.

Actually, sometimes you can have a really good thing going

and then change can just come along and just...

[splutters]

-Billie? -Be really scary.

Be really scary and ultimately just unnecessary, in my opinion.

Yeah. So, what do you say, Mr. Lee, huh?

How about it?

No.

I'm sorry. No?

Mr. Lee, I feel like if you just knew Sandy, then--

Oh, I know Sandy Adler.

He was my friend for 32 years.

-He was? -Mm-hmm.

So, what... [clears throat]

-What, uh... What happened? -We drifted apart.

Time took its toll, like it does on all friendship. It happens.

Well, okay, but I'm sure you guys can get through this, right?

-Hey, if any-- -And then he fucked my wife.

Oh.

A bunch.

[Paul] We are gonna...

-We're gonna leave. -Thank you so much for your time.

-Samy? -Hey, no.

No, you're not supposed to see me yet.

-What? -Okay, fine.

I found this Seattle SuperSonics jersey in my dad's drawer.

He was a huge Kemp fan, but I had a whole thing planned.

I don't want to spoil it.

Um...

Hey, so when were you planning on asking me about this?

-What? -About moving.

What do you mean? This is perfect.

Like, this way we don't have to go back and forth.

No, Samy, you can't just move.

Your entire life is here.

Okay, so... so you'd rather do long-distance?

No.

Well, it's got to be one or the other.

Right?

-[Carly breathing shakily] -[sighs] No.

[crying] I really love our relationship.

I just... I never want to get to a place where I don't.

[stammers] What are you saying?

[horns sounding]

Presenting Seattle's newest power forward, Samir Rahman!

-Guys, it's really not a good time. -[chanting] Samir!

-What the hell? -Samir!

This is the thing I had planned.

-[♪♪ "Get Ready For This" playing] -[chanting continues]

Dude! Go! Shoot!

[all exclaiming, cheering]

♪♪ Y'all ready for this? ♪♪

Oh, my God.

[Issa in funny voice] No more soup, Mommy! I'm too full! -[both laugh] -Okay, I am gonna text you.

-Okay. -[laughing]

Okay. What's going on?

-Looks like you're having fun. -Yeah.

I mean, she's really cute, and I'm really funny, so...

-[chuckling] -[phone chiming]

Shit.

-[Issa] Mmm? -Billie says it's not going our way.

[gasps] Yay.

No, like he's gonna win, Iss. We're gonna have to move out.

[gasps] No.

[sighs]

So then you have to tell Paul Baker.

-What? -That... That you have feelings for him.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I knew you were attracted to him,

but I didn't realize until today you have actual feelings for him.

-You do. Yes, you do. -No.

Everything you said about recycling and almonds,

like, you were physically incapable of talking shit about him,

and you love talking shit.

[scoffs] That's just not true. I said he knew Ghislaine.

Okay, you know I don't know actors, Anton.

-[chattering on TV] -[Billie] I've been thinking about it,

and you kinda had the best-case scenario for a first relationship.

-Really? -Yeah. I mean, no cheating,

no major fuck-ups, and you split because of circumstances.

Samy, you pitched a perfect game.

[clicks tongue] Whoo.

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna miss being someone's boyfriend.

-[snort laughs] -Is that crazy?

Honestly? A little.

I was good at it.

Yeah.

It was really scary when I thought you were leaving.

[TV audio warbles]

Anton, it's me. You can tell me. I'm okay.

-Issa, just drop it, okay? -No, I'm not dropping...

It's gonna make you sick inside

-if you don't say it out loud. -Can you stop?

-Oh, my God. -Wait, is that...

-Call them. Call them. Call them. -Yes. I am. I am. I am.

Tell me.

-I'm not some stranger on the street. -Issa.

-[Issa] Like, you... - She's not picking up.

Admit it: You have feelings for Paul Baker.

- [Anton] Issa... -Wait, what did she just say?

- [line ringing] -Admit it. Come on. Just say it.

-You really do. Oh, my God. -Issa, can you stop?

Oh, my God.

Who do you think you're talking to right now?

-Can I stop? No. -Yes, you could stop.

You can... Anton, you can tell me.

-Issa. -I... It's so obvious.

Say it. You have to say it. I can tell.

[stammers] It's fucking embarrassing, Iss.

What is embarrassing? Loving someone?

-Yes. -I knew it!

[all gasp, exclaim]

Oh, shit.

-Oh, my God. -Man, gay guys have my heart.

I know it makes you uncomfortable, but you deserve his kindness.

Oh, no. The sign-language lady's interpreting it.

And his tenderness and his big, beautiful cock.

Don't sign that.

Don't... You can't sign that. Don't...

She's signing that.

- [Anton] Issa, I can't. I couldn't. - [Issa] You do. Why?

-He was your person. -[stammers]

It doesn't matter.

We are all gonna fuck people and fall in love

and get our hearts broken a thousand times.

But our friendship is the most important thing in the world to me.

And no one is ever gonna get in the way of that.

Our friendship comes first. Always.

Do you understand that?

[Anton chuckles]

Of course.

Of course.

Great. Then go fuck his brains out, crazy girl.

[chuckles]

-Go. -Okay, okay, okay.

-[Issa] Oh, my God! -They're coming home. They're coming home.

They're like two blocks away.

What do I do? What do I do, guys?

-Bro, just do it. -Kiss him on the lips.

Kiss him and tell me how it feels!

Kiss him like a slut, then kiss him like a princess, then kiss him like both.

[Anton, Issa laughing]

-You're gonna tell him! -I'm really gonna tell him.

-I love you! -I love you so much!

-Issa, pothole! -[screams]

I don't want to ruin another good thing, guys.

I already ruined our house. [stammers] I blew up our home.

No, no. Don't say that, okay? Just trust your gut.

What does your gut say?

[Anton] I've never run this much.

No, that's not true.

I've done a boot-camp class once, but it was mostly for the smoothies.

-Oh, my God, their smoothies are so good. -So good.

-Oh, my God, their smoothies are so good. -So good. I'm telling you, take it from me.

I'm telling you, take it from me.

Even if it all goes away, it's worth it.

-I promise! -I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Okay, Paul Baker, forget what you're supposed to do.

What is gonna make you happy?

[door closes]

[Anton pants]

Hi.

Hey.

-Holy shit. You lost. -[Billie] What?

[Katie] After a down-to-the-wire marble count,

Sandy Adler has been reelected for his 18th consecutive term on the HOA.

[cheering]

This has been an unprecedented election,

and I think this footage is going to get me into Bowdoin.

[♪♪ "People" playing]

♪♪ People are wasteful They waste all the food ♪♪

♪♪ People are hateful And people are rude ♪♪

♪♪ But God I love some people sometimes ♪♪

♪♪ Because people are The greatest thing to happen ♪♪

♪♪ I said God I love some people sometimes ♪♪

♪♪ Because people are The greatest thing to happen ♪♪

♪♪ I said I have faith In my fellow man ♪♪

♪♪ And I only hope That he has faith in me ♪♪

[♪♪ music ends]

[laughs, shushes] My roommates are asleep, and if we wake them up,

they'll want to play "get to know you" games.

-I'm actually really good at those. -Oh, really?

Mm-hmm. Oh!

-[mattress squeaking] -[grunting, panting]

-[mattress squeaking] -[grunting, panting] -Not everyone's sleeping. -Um...

-Not everyone's sleeping. -Um...

-What? -No, nothing. Just, uh...

-Two of my roommates are hooking up. -Oh.

Yeah. [chuckles]

And how do we feel about that?

We're actually...

really happy about it.

[giggles]

Are we good?

[♪♪ "Besties" playing]

Yeah, Bills. Yeah.

Yeah, we're good.

♪♪ I wanna be Anywhere other than this ♪♪

♪♪ I wanna see My best friend waving at me ♪♪

♪♪ I wanna be living with you ♪♪

♪♪ Seeing it through ♪♪

♪♪ Do you wanna play? ♪♪

♪♪ Forever How long can I play? ♪♪