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1
00:00:09,887 --> 00:00:12,157
♪♪ That-that-that-that
Is right on time ♪♪
2
00:00:12,224 --> 00:00:13,762
♪♪ Is right on time ♪♪
3
00:00:14,028 --> 00:00:15,865
♪♪ That crazy beat
Is right on tim ♪♪
4
00:00:16,032 --> 00:00:17,068
♪♪ Is right on time ♪♪
5
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,904
[screaming, whooping]
6
00:00:19,138 --> 00:00:21,142
What the fuck kind of friend
would I be
if I fucking said that?
7
00:00:21,275 --> 00:00:23,112
-No. Then you look bad.
-"You're ugly"?
8
00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:25,885
[screams]
9
00:00:25,952 --> 00:00:27,522
[whooping]
10
00:00:27,589 --> 00:00:28,858
[coughs]
11
00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:31,062
-Oh. Okay. [chuckles]
-You're evil. You're evil.
12
00:00:31,129 --> 00:00:32,464
Okay, no. I needed this.
13
00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:34,135
-You just wanted to join.
-You're evil.
14
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,403
-All right. Another round.
-[Paul] For sure.
15
00:00:35,538 --> 00:00:36,373
-Uh, what's your tab?
-Thank you.
16
00:00:36,573 --> 00:00:37,642
Uh, Billie Schaeffer.
17
00:00:39,411 --> 00:00:41,750
I'm sorry, uh,
can I see your ID?
18
00:00:42,451 --> 00:00:44,455
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
19
00:00:51,069 --> 00:00:52,271
Huh.
20
00:00:52,805 --> 00:00:54,776
You can't arrest us.
We're filming.
21
00:00:54,843 --> 00:00:57,147
[♪♪ theme music playing]
22
00:01:12,311 --> 00:01:13,747
[Billie]
Okay, so what happened exactly?
23
00:01:13,847 --> 00:01:16,118
Okay, so I was covering a shift
for my bartender buddy
24
00:01:16,252 --> 00:01:18,223
and this girl handed me
a New Jersey license
25
00:01:18,289 --> 00:01:20,060
that said Billie Schaeffer.
26
00:01:20,127 --> 00:01:23,199
-What was the address?
-Uh, like, 40, uh,
Trenton something.
27
00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:25,805
Forty-two Sycamore Lane,
Trenton, New Jersey 08605?
28
00:01:25,805 --> 00:01:27,374
Wait, Platinum Blonde?
29
00:01:27,441 --> 00:01:29,613
She's still in rotation.
-Wait, what's Platinum Blonde?
30
00:01:29,646 --> 00:01:33,821
Billie had this
legendary fake ID
in high school. It scanned.
31
00:01:34,121 --> 00:01:36,961
It had a hologram,
came in a hollowed-out Bible.
32
00:01:37,027 --> 00:01:38,998
-Nice.
-All right.
33
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:41,002
This is crazy. I mean,
when I turned 21, I passed it
down to Katie Hobert,
34
00:01:41,069 --> 00:01:43,307
and then Katie Hobert
passed it down to Lauren Gould,
35
00:01:43,373 --> 00:01:45,310
who passed it down
to Missy Wheeler,
36
00:01:45,511 --> 00:01:48,049
but then Missy Wheeler found
Jesus and deleted Instagram,
so I lost track.
37
00:01:48,249 --> 00:01:50,621
Okay, well, current Fake Billie
was going absolutely insane
last night.
38
00:01:50,688 --> 00:01:52,759
-[Billie gasps] No way.
-[Paul] She was, like,
downing shots
39
00:01:52,826 --> 00:01:54,696
and started bodysurfing
these McKinsey interns.
40
00:01:54,763 --> 00:01:56,232
She was cool.
41
00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:58,837
You know what?
You could not pay me
to be that age again.
42
00:01:58,837 --> 00:01:58,871
You know what?
You could not pay me
to be that age again.
-Could not pay me.
-Same.
43
00:01:58,871 --> 00:02:00,473
-Could not pay me.
-Same.
44
00:02:00,675 --> 00:02:02,579
You know, literally same.
45
00:02:02,745 --> 00:02:04,650
Like, for the first time,
we're not the youngest people
on Earth anymore.
46
00:02:04,783 --> 00:02:06,687
-[Billie] Mmm.
-Honestly, thank God.
47
00:02:06,753 --> 00:02:07,956
Yeah.
48
00:02:08,290 --> 00:02:10,293
Hey, should I, like,
reach out to her?
49
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:12,465
-To Fake Billie?
-[Billie] Yeah.
50
00:02:12,565 --> 00:02:14,703
I-I mean, do you want
to reach out to her?
51
00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:16,740
-Oh, no, no,
not-not for my sake.
-Oh.
52
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,212
But like, you know,
she could use my advice, right?
53
00:02:19,278 --> 00:02:23,119
Like, I could help her
skip over all the mistakes
of her 20s.
54
00:02:23,353 --> 00:02:25,356
-[Anton] Mmm.
You're the person for that.
-[Issa] Yes.
55
00:02:25,457 --> 00:02:27,161
-Yeah, I bet she'd love that.
-[Billie] Right?
56
00:02:27,227 --> 00:02:29,198
Okay, I'm gonna
text Lauren Gould
57
00:02:29,265 --> 00:02:30,702
and get in touch
with the Billie network.
58
00:02:31,469 --> 00:02:35,611
Alex Able, that's the name
of the kid I gave my fake to.
59
00:02:35,745 --> 00:02:37,582
Damn, I haven't
thought about him in years.
60
00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:40,521
-[Issa] Mmm.
-Fake Samir's
probably in Congress by now.
61
00:02:40,621 --> 00:02:43,193
-Yeah, maybe. I don't know.
-M-Maybe. Uh-huh.
62
00:02:43,459 --> 00:02:46,733
-Or he could be
doing porn in the valley.
-Mmm. That.
63
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,303
I see that more for him.
64
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,107
-Good porn.
-Yeah, tasteful porn.
65
00:02:50,173 --> 00:02:51,476
-Porn where they kiss.
-Kissing porn.
66
00:02:51,610 --> 00:02:53,413
-[Issa] So cute.
-[Anton] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
67
00:02:55,417 --> 00:02:57,387
-[Billie] Aw.
-[Issa] Do you feel like a mom?
68
00:02:57,454 --> 00:02:59,192
[chuckling] Yeah.
Well, not a mom.
69
00:02:59,458 --> 00:03:01,262
-But more of like a mentor.
-You feel like a mentor. Yeah.
70
00:03:01,329 --> 00:03:03,099
-Lavender matcha with honey.
-Ooh.
71
00:03:03,332 --> 00:03:05,504
-[whispers] Let's go.
Ready? [chuckles]
-Yeah. [chuckles]
72
00:03:09,512 --> 00:03:10,948
[whispers] No. I didn't know
73
00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:13,687
-Um, did you guys
order the matchas?
-She did.
74
00:03:14,288 --> 00:03:17,260
-Yeah, I did.
-Okay.
75
00:03:17,862 --> 00:03:19,331
Oh, my God.
76
00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:20,701
-She didn't realize. [chuckles]
-She doesn't know.
77
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:23,507
-Uh, you ready?
-[whispers] Blow her mind.
78
00:03:27,314 --> 00:03:28,517
It's me.
79
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,688
-[Billie chuckles]
-[chuckles]
And it's me. [chuckles]
80
00:03:30,721 --> 00:03:31,890
[chuckling]
81
00:03:32,592 --> 00:03:37,769
Billie Schaeffer,
42 Sycamore Lane,
Trenton, New Jersey 08605?
82
00:03:38,670 --> 00:03:40,006
Oh, my God!
83
00:03:40,073 --> 00:03:41,877
-[Billie chuckles] Yeah.
-There it is. I was like,
84
00:03:41,943 --> 00:03:43,981
-"Is she gonna get there?
Is she gonna"
-Check, please.
85
00:03:43,981 --> 00:03:45,651
-But you got there, girl.
-Just kidding.
Don't bring us the check.
86
00:03:45,751 --> 00:03:47,755
-Garrett, this is Billie.
-[Billie chuckles]
87
00:03:47,755 --> 00:03:47,756
-Garrett, this is Billie.
-[Billie chuckles]
-The fake ID. [chuckles]
-[chuckles] We thought
it was AI randomly.
88
00:03:47,756 --> 00:03:50,227
-The fake ID. [chuckles]
-[chuckles] We thought
it was AI randomly.
89
00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:52,097
[Garrett] Oh, my God.
-Kiss the ring. Kiss the ring.
90
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:54,067
-No, don't kiss the ring.
[chuckles]
-[chuckling]
91
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,406
-No, it's like
I'm you in the future.
-Right. It's so--
92
00:03:56,506 --> 00:03:57,676
-Hi.
-Things are looking good.
[chuckles]
93
00:03:57,743 --> 00:03:59,111
-Hold on. Okay, um
-No way.
94
00:03:59,344 --> 00:04:00,615
How old are you?
95
00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:02,919
-Um, I just turned 25.
-Mm-hmm.
96
00:04:02,986 --> 00:04:04,155
[stammers]
97
00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:06,426
-Wow, um
-So fun.
98
00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:08,397
That's awesome.
99
00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:13,106
[sighs] Twenty-five.
So, you were around
for, like, 9/11 and such?
100
00:04:13,272 --> 00:04:14,509
-No.
-I mean, technically.
101
00:04:14,676 --> 00:04:16,412
-Yeah.
-But I was just a baby.
102
00:04:16,846 --> 00:04:19,786
Helaine! Can we
get a croissant for the lady?
103
00:04:19,919 --> 00:04:21,590
'Cause she was there
during 9/11.
104
00:04:21,657 --> 00:04:23,861
Not a lady, so [chuckles]
105
00:04:23,928 --> 00:04:27,569
[clears throat]
Um, wait, such cute
little freaking stamps.
106
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,405
-Where did you get those?
-Ooh, yeah.
107
00:04:29,706 --> 00:04:34,482
Oh, um, it's this new club
Uncle Tuesday on Avenue A.
108
00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:36,854
-Oh, we haven't been yet.
-Cool. Yeah.
109
00:04:36,887 --> 00:04:38,524
-You guys
will probably hate it.
-Hate it. Hate it.
110
00:04:38,591 --> 00:04:41,262
-It's, like, young people.
-Uh, I don't know.
111
00:04:41,530 --> 00:04:43,834
-I think I'd like it.
I think I'd like it.
-Ooh.
112
00:04:43,901 --> 00:04:45,972
-Right, Iss?
-[chuckles, stammers]
I [chuckles]
113
00:04:46,039 --> 00:04:47,742
Wait, crazy idea.
114
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,813
We should all
swing by Uncle Tuesday
together sometime.
115
00:04:49,879 --> 00:04:51,617
-Sounds like
my kind of spot. [chuckles]
-[Issa] Mmm.
116
00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:55,290
-Um, you know,
I-I would love to.
-[Garrett] Love.
117
00:04:55,357 --> 00:04:59,298
But, um, basically,
I-I left your ID
in a cab last night.
118
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:00,668
[Garrett] It's gone.
119
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,605
-It's gone. Yeah.
-We're so sad about it.
120
00:05:02,672 --> 00:05:04,408
-Really sad actually, um
-I know.
121
00:05:04,475 --> 00:05:06,780
But you guys
enjoy your matchas, okay?
122
00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:11,623
And, uh, keep rocking
that haircut. Yeah.
123
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:14,061
Well, I'm growing it out,
so it's a transitional phase.
124
00:05:14,094 --> 00:05:16,499
-She's not
-This isn't the length
that it's gonna be.
125
00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,472
Oh, my God. This is crazy.
126
00:05:19,572 --> 00:05:21,376
-Okay, he's not on LinkedIn.
-[Issa gasps]
127
00:05:21,576 --> 00:05:24,181
-He's not in Congress.
This is a bad sign.
-Samy, chill, dude.
128
00:05:24,448 --> 00:05:27,488
Whatever Fake Samir's up to now
is not your responsibility.
129
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,593
Yet I feel responsible, okay?
Think about it.
130
00:05:29,692 --> 00:05:30,995
I started
this guy's drinking journey.
131
00:05:31,128 --> 00:05:33,066
He probably started
somebody else's,
132
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:35,638
and I could have created
a whole lineage
of curly-haired degenerates.
133
00:05:35,738 --> 00:05:38,678
Calm down, Samir.
Once you pass down a fake ID,
134
00:05:38,744 --> 00:05:40,079
-it just belongs to the world.
-[Paul] Mm-mmm.
135
00:05:40,146 --> 00:05:41,850
-It's like sending a nude.
-[Samir sighs]
136
00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:43,921
-No.
-See, this is why
I never had a fake.
137
00:05:43,987 --> 00:05:45,190
You never had a fake?
138
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,492
No, I never needed one.
139
00:05:46,626 --> 00:05:48,096
-I used the method.
-[Paul] Mmm.
140
00:05:48,396 --> 00:05:49,933
-What's the method?
-You don't know the method?
141
00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:52,505
-You do know the method?
-Yeah, I know the method.
142
00:05:52,572 --> 00:05:54,374
Anton and I go out sometimes.
143
00:05:55,645 --> 00:05:57,280
It's Billie.
Billie, what are you doing?
144
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,885
Guys, announcement.
145
00:05:58,951 --> 00:06:01,021
-We're going out tonight.
-[Issa] Oh, my God. Pants.
146
00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:01,055
-We're going out tonight.
-[Issa] Oh, my God. Pants.
-Whoa! Ooh.
-We are?
147
00:06:01,055 --> 00:06:02,626
-Whoa! Ooh.
-We are?
148
00:06:02,825 --> 00:06:05,297
Yes. Come on, I wanna dance.
149
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:08,671
We haven't danced in
[singsongy] uh-uh-uh, forever.
[chuckles]
150
00:06:08,738 --> 00:06:11,309
Uh-huh.
How did it go with Fake Billie?
151
00:06:11,376 --> 00:06:13,145
Oh, Sophie-Rose?
152
00:06:13,145 --> 00:06:13,213
Oh, Sophie-Rose?
-Uh, great. Yeah.
-[Anton] Oh.
153
00:06:13,213 --> 00:06:15,250
-Uh, great. Yeah.
-[Anton] Oh.
154
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:16,720
[Billie] She was great.
155
00:06:16,886 --> 00:06:18,422
Uh, she did lose my fake ID.
156
00:06:18,489 --> 00:06:20,159
-She lost it?
-Wait. Platinum Blonde?
157
00:06:20,159 --> 00:06:20,227
-She lost it?
-Wait. Platinum Blonde?
Yeah, but you know
what I realized?
158
00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:22,163
Yeah, but you know
what I realized?
159
00:06:22,163 --> 00:06:22,164
Yeah, but you know
what I realized?
Thank God,
I don't need that thing anymore
because we are older now.
160
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:26,072
Thank God,
I don't need that thing anymore
because we are older now.
161
00:06:26,139 --> 00:06:28,476
-Yeah.
-But also younger
than we'll ever be.
162
00:06:28,544 --> 00:06:30,146
-Well
-Come on, Samir, get dressed.
163
00:06:30,413 --> 00:06:32,619
-We're going to Uncle Tuesday.
-[stammers] Uncle Tuesday.
164
00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:35,356
Delulu. Things used to be
called things.
165
00:06:35,423 --> 00:06:36,526
[laughs]
166
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,864
-Paul Baker, you coming out?
-[Paul] Mm-mmm.
167
00:06:38,964 --> 00:06:40,701
Tonight is me and Paul Baker's
cozy night in.
168
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,404
-Yes.
-We haven't had a date night
in so long.
169
00:06:42,638 --> 00:06:44,074
[sighs] Boring.
170
00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:46,178
-We're just gonna relax,
make some salmon
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
171
00:06:46,245 --> 00:06:47,748
-do some anal.
-Mm-hmm.
172
00:06:47,848 --> 00:06:49,051
-Martha Stewart says
it's great.
-She does.
173
00:06:49,184 --> 00:06:50,821
-The salmon?
-You poor sweet girl.
174
00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:52,190
-No.
-[whispering] No.
175
00:06:55,931 --> 00:06:58,303
-Anton, we can't
just skip the line.
-Yes, we can, trust me.
176
00:06:58,436 --> 00:07:00,373
Just let me
do my thing, please.
177
00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:03,379
Hi, hi.
We're-We're on the list.
178
00:07:03,446 --> 00:07:05,551
-Whose list?
-It's Zach Carp's list.
179
00:07:05,684 --> 00:07:07,287
He's friends
with Jessica Palmari.
180
00:07:07,354 --> 00:07:09,158
I don't see a Zach Carp.
181
00:07:09,224 --> 00:07:11,797
I'm so sorry.
So, Jessica Palmari
works with Nicole Berman,
182
00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:13,935
whose husband owns the club.
183
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,039
The owner's name
is Steve Winslow.
184
00:07:16,105 --> 00:07:18,744
Winslow, Steve Winslow. Yes.
No, he's just the day-to-day.
185
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:20,648
So, Nicole Berman's husband
186
00:07:20,715 --> 00:07:22,719
works for the
private equity company
that invested in the club.
187
00:07:22,786 --> 00:07:24,690
So, uh, let me explain,
it's a lot of moving parts.
188
00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:27,595
There's a
board of directors, right?
Tad Marberg, David Corpeland.
189
00:07:27,695 --> 00:07:29,599
There's a woman as well,
Jennifer Jesman and then--
190
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,670
All right, all right.
[sighs] Just come inside.
191
00:07:31,836 --> 00:07:33,340
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
192
00:07:33,874 --> 00:07:34,910
[whispering] The method.
193
00:07:34,977 --> 00:07:36,446
-And what's your name?
-Chris.
194
00:07:36,579 --> 00:07:38,482
-Oh, great. Chris. Are you new?
-Yeah.
195
00:07:38,717 --> 00:07:39,619
Hi, Chris.
196
00:07:39,686 --> 00:07:42,658
[♪♪ club music plays]
197
00:07:45,864 --> 00:07:47,802
-Oh, he said
he'd be here by now.
-Who?
198
00:07:47,869 --> 00:07:49,706
-Fake Samir.
-You texted Fake Samir?
199
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:52,745
I texted Fake Samir, yeah.
My imagination's
been running wild, Anton.
200
00:07:52,878 --> 00:07:54,716
What if he's
selling smack in an alley?
201
00:07:54,782 --> 00:07:55,952
Smack? Who says smack?
202
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:57,689
He was in Rent in tenth grade.
203
00:07:57,788 --> 00:07:59,091
I played Mark, okay?
He's the audience's way in.
204
00:07:59,124 --> 00:08:00,594
[both chuckle]
205
00:08:02,263 --> 00:08:04,334
Oh, my God.
206
00:08:04,502 --> 00:08:06,205
-[Garrett] Yes!
-[chuckling]
207
00:08:06,272 --> 00:08:08,242
That fucking liar.
208
00:08:12,418 --> 00:08:13,688
[Samir] Billie.
209
00:08:14,187 --> 00:08:16,425
-Oh, my God, hi!
-Oh, shit, hi! [laughs]
210
00:08:16,593 --> 00:08:19,297
I thought you lost my ID.
211
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:24,542
Oh. Yeah, no, I did.
I did, but then
then I found it, girl.
212
00:08:24,609 --> 00:08:26,478
-[squeals]
-Oh, my God.
213
00:08:26,546 --> 00:08:28,917
Okay, so, Sophie-Rose,
maybe no one's ever
told you this before,
214
00:08:28,984 --> 00:08:32,290
but you shouldn't bite the hand
that feeds you, okay?
215
00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:32,324
but you shouldn't bite the hand
that feeds you, okay?
Just a little advice for you.
216
00:08:32,324 --> 00:08:33,827
Just a little advice for you.
217
00:08:34,027 --> 00:08:35,664
I'm sorry, who is this?
218
00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:38,871
Um, it's just some woman
that keeps trying
to hang out with me.
219
00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:41,109
Okay, so not a woman.
220
00:08:41,175 --> 00:08:45,450
I'm 25, which actually
Maxim says is the hottest age
to be, so. [chuckles]
221
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,822
Is Maxim your husband?
222
00:08:48,924 --> 00:08:50,060
You know what?
223
00:08:50,427 --> 00:08:53,834
You guys enjoy your little
watered-down cocktails, okay?
224
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,538
'Cause I'm here tonight
225
00:08:55,771 --> 00:08:57,340
Hear that? Yeah.
226
00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:59,244
to have some fucking fun!
227
00:09:06,091 --> 00:09:07,595
Pants.
228
00:09:09,297 --> 00:09:12,972
I feel like she really
wants you to notice her pants.
229
00:09:15,477 --> 00:09:18,082
[Alex] Samir. Samir.
230
00:09:19,151 --> 00:09:20,287
Oh, my God. Hey.
231
00:09:20,354 --> 00:09:21,856
How are you doing?
232
00:09:21,923 --> 00:09:23,459
-Oh, thanks
for reaching out, dude.
-Oh. Yeah.
233
00:09:23,527 --> 00:09:24,963
Oh, it's been too long, dude.
234
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:26,633
-Yeah, yeah, it has been.
-Yeah.
235
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,570
How you doing?
236
00:09:28,637 --> 00:09:30,006
-I'm good, man. I'm good.
-You're good? You're good?
You're okay?
237
00:09:30,173 --> 00:09:31,576
-I'm great. Yeah.
-Yeah?
238
00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:33,681
Uh, kinda
getting railed at work, but
239
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,151
Railed. In the valley?
240
00:09:36,686 --> 00:09:37,756
No, I'm
241
00:09:37,888 --> 00:09:40,059
I'm in advertising
here in the city.
242
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,030
Oh, my God.
243
00:09:42,698 --> 00:09:44,970
-Yeah, I was
a communications major.
-He's a communicator.
244
00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:47,675
Yeah. And I'm an uncle now.
245
00:09:47,842 --> 00:09:49,478
-You're an uncle now?
-Yeah.
246
00:09:49,712 --> 00:09:50,881
He's an uncle!
247
00:09:51,081 --> 00:09:52,117
-Oh.
-Yeah.
248
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:54,822
We have a baby.
Show me. Show me.
249
00:09:54,989 --> 00:09:57,026
-This is Brinley.
-Ah.
250
00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:59,866
He looks just like us.
251
00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:06,880
[Paul] That was fun, eh?
252
00:10:06,946 --> 00:10:08,583
-Very fun.
-Uh-huh.
253
00:10:09,084 --> 00:10:12,725
What a perfect romantic night.
254
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,202
-[grunts]
-[yawns] Yeah.
255
00:10:19,271 --> 00:10:21,241
-I wonder what time it is.
-Yeah.
256
00:10:22,912 --> 00:10:25,082
-Oh, my God.
-Wow.
257
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:27,287
-It's early.
-So early.
258
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,826
-Night is young. [chuckles]
-Huh.
259
00:10:29,892 --> 00:10:32,464
[chuckles]
Whole night's ahead of us.
260
00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:33,833
Yeah.
261
00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:41,549
What did you say?
262
00:10:41,616 --> 00:10:43,554
-Sorry?
-What did you just say?
263
00:10:43,753 --> 00:10:46,124
I was Just Deep breath.
264
00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:50,299
-[♪♪ club music plays]
-Two tequila shots, please.
265
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:51,837
[bartender]
You wanna start a tab?
266
00:10:51,904 --> 00:10:54,107
Oh, no.
Uh, I know Tiffany Kindler.
267
00:10:54,809 --> 00:10:56,378
-Who?
-Uh, Tiffany Kindler.
268
00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:56,379
-Who?
-Uh, Tiffany Kindler.
She's friends with Aubrey Moss.
269
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:58,382
She's friends with Aubrey Moss.
270
00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:02,591
Yeah, so, my friend Doug Reilly
is actually cousins
with Jordan Miller.
271
00:11:02,658 --> 00:11:04,563
Oh.
272
00:11:04,629 --> 00:11:06,398
Look, if it's a problem,
I can call John-Paul Mark.
It's not a big deal.
273
00:11:06,465 --> 00:11:08,269
It's his daughter's birthday,
but he'll answer for me.
274
00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:10,106
-No, no, that's fine.
It's on the house.
-Thanks.
275
00:11:13,045 --> 00:11:14,515
John-Paul Mark?
276
00:11:14,982 --> 00:11:17,086
[laughs] Two first names
is pushing it, but three?
277
00:11:17,153 --> 00:11:18,823
That's playing with fire.
278
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:20,459
Sorry, man, I don't know
what you're talking about.
279
00:11:21,361 --> 00:11:22,731
The method?
280
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,804
John-Paul Mark and I
grew up together.
281
00:11:26,338 --> 00:11:28,811
We lived on a cul-de-sac
in Wooster, Ohio.
282
00:11:28,877 --> 00:11:31,650
-You're from Wooster, Ohio?
-Mm-hmm.
283
00:11:32,384 --> 00:11:34,087
-What's your high school?
-Southeast.
284
00:11:34,254 --> 00:11:35,891
-Southeast?
-Go Falcons.
285
00:11:35,958 --> 00:11:37,327
-Falcons.
-Three-season athlete.
286
00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:39,264
-What sports?
-Fencing, soccer, and swimming.
287
00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:40,968
-Weird combo.
-I mean,
it got me into Bucknell.
288
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,771
-Bucknell?
-Go Bison.
289
00:11:45,309 --> 00:11:47,046
Any more questions, officer?
290
00:11:50,086 --> 00:11:52,357
Go Falcons.
Sorry, I thought it was
291
00:11:52,424 --> 00:11:55,931
Sorry. [chuckles]
Sorry. [clears throat]
292
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,237
Never let 'em
see you sweat, cutie.
293
00:12:00,339 --> 00:12:01,441
[chuckles]
294
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,186
[♪♪ club music continues]
295
00:12:09,224 --> 00:12:10,493
Is she watching?
296
00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:13,633
No, she's just dancing.
They literally
could not care less.
297
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,606
What? Then how is she supposed
to know that I'm winning?
298
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,181
Billie, you can't win at club.
Let's just have fun.
299
00:12:22,918 --> 00:12:25,724
Wait, Anton. Tilt-A-Whirl.
300
00:12:25,791 --> 00:12:28,664
-No, I'm not doing that. No.
-Yes. Come on, please.
Tilt-A-Whirl.
301
00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:31,101
You and Issa do it
all the time. It's such a hit.
302
00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:33,807
Billie, please, no.
Not right now. Not right now.
303
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,343
No, come on.
304
00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:40,086
Okay, okay.
305
00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:42,290
-Fine, right now. Right now.
-Okay. Okay.
306
00:12:42,323 --> 00:12:45,898
-Oops. Sorry.
Squeezing through.
-[Anton] Excuse me. Sorry.
307
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:48,036
-[Anton] Hey! Circle up!
Make a circle.
-[Billie] Circle up, everyone.
308
00:12:48,102 --> 00:12:49,772
-[Billie] Clear some space.
-[Anton] Yep. Like that.
309
00:12:49,839 --> 00:12:52,511
Okay, ready? Ready? Whoa.
310
00:12:53,045 --> 00:12:54,749
-I trust you.
-Okay.
311
00:12:55,249 --> 00:12:58,222
[crowd cheering, exclaiming]
312
00:13:02,463 --> 00:13:04,468
Oh, God. Oh, fuck!
313
00:13:04,802 --> 00:13:06,807
God. Oh, my God.
She's dead. She's dead.
314
00:13:06,939 --> 00:13:08,376
-Ow. Oh, no. Ow.
-[Anton] I am so sorry.
315
00:13:08,442 --> 00:13:11,682
Okay. No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
[chuckling] Okay.
316
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,119
I'm good.
317
00:13:13,485 --> 00:13:15,256
Okay. [chuckles]
318
00:13:16,425 --> 00:13:18,162
What went wrong?
319
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:21,001
You're longer than Issa,
so I'm just
not used to your proportions.
320
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:23,574
Maybe people thought
it was on purpose.
321
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,844
Yeah, maybe one or two people
in the back.
322
00:13:25,977 --> 00:13:28,082
-[crickets chirping]
-[clicks tongue]
323
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:31,856
Do you think, uh, some, uh
324
00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:35,463
[stammers]
325
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,467
-[doorbell rings]
-[both cheer]
326
00:13:37,535 --> 00:13:39,004
-Dessert's here,
dessert's here.
-Fuck yeah!
327
00:13:39,137 --> 00:13:40,439
-Let's go get dessert.
-Dessert time.
328
00:13:41,041 --> 00:13:41,809
Hi.
329
00:13:41,876 --> 00:13:43,780
Ah. Thank you, sir.
330
00:13:43,847 --> 00:13:45,416
-Ice cream.
-Have a nice night.
331
00:13:45,483 --> 00:13:47,186
-[chuckles] Thank you.
-Thanks, you too.
332
00:13:50,326 --> 00:13:51,262
Wait, wait.
333
00:13:51,328 --> 00:13:56,104
You have an amazing energy.
334
00:13:56,171 --> 00:13:59,512
[gasps] I feel it.
You should come in.
Do you wanna come inside?
335
00:13:59,579 --> 00:14:00,614
Oh, yeah.
336
00:14:00,614 --> 00:14:00,647
Oh, yeah.
-Not really.
-No, you should.
337
00:14:00,647 --> 00:14:02,317
-Not really.
-No, you should.
338
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,920
We just
made a whole lot of salmon.
You like salmon?
339
00:14:03,987 --> 00:14:05,489
You wanna come in, man?
Are you a fish guy?
340
00:14:05,557 --> 00:14:06,760
You're gonna love it in here.
Wait, what's your name?
341
00:14:06,826 --> 00:14:08,396
-Viktor.
-[Issa] Viktor.
342
00:14:08,463 --> 00:14:09,765
-[Paul whispering] Viktor.
-[Issa] I love that accent.
343
00:14:09,832 --> 00:14:10,701
-Where are you from?
-Poland.
344
00:14:10,768 --> 00:14:11,569
[Issa, Paul] Poland.
345
00:14:17,380 --> 00:14:19,150
[Samir] Okay, okay,
let me get thiSo, you you passed down
the ID to him?
346
00:14:19,217 --> 00:14:21,823
-Then you passed it on to him?
-And then I did it to him.
347
00:14:22,156 --> 00:14:23,793
-This is insane. This is crazy.
-Yeah. [laughs]
348
00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:25,764
-Wow, wow, wow.
-[laughing]
349
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:27,401
It's a whole legion of Samirs.
350
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,304
-[friend chuckles]
-[Alex] I know.
351
00:14:29,337 --> 00:14:31,909
Hey, question, um-um,
do you use any products
on your hair
352
00:14:31,976 --> 00:14:33,714
-like-like a mousse?
-Ah.
353
00:14:33,781 --> 00:14:35,851
No mousse. Mousse
Mousse doesn't agree
with our texture.
354
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,354
-[Alex] No mousse.
-Okay, thank you.
355
00:14:37,453 --> 00:14:39,224
-Uh, I actually use
a curling gel.
-[all] Oh.
356
00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:40,459
-Yeah, no mousse.
-[glass shatters]
357
00:14:40,527 --> 00:14:43,065
Sorry, not my fault.
358
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,604
Not my fault.
359
00:14:45,604 --> 00:14:47,340
Ah, shit, um Hey, I gotta
360
00:14:47,406 --> 00:14:49,344
-Gotta take care
of something real quick.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
361
00:14:49,444 --> 00:14:51,348
-But, guys, real quick tip.
-[Alex] Mmm?
362
00:14:51,448 --> 00:14:53,118
-There's actually hooks
under here.
-What?
363
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:54,488
Yep, you just go ahead
and put your coats on those.
364
00:14:54,622 --> 00:14:56,191
-[friend cheers]
-Get the fuck out of here.
365
00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:57,594
-Yo. Dude.
-Are you serious right now?
366
00:14:57,694 --> 00:15:00,133
And I know Naomi Isabella
from college,
367
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:02,972
and Naomi Isabella
freelanced for, um
368
00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:05,342
For Gary Von Patio.
369
00:15:06,411 --> 00:15:07,480
Hi.
370
00:15:07,548 --> 00:15:09,151
Hi.
371
00:15:09,585 --> 00:15:10,921
-Right, yes.
-Yeah.
372
00:15:11,054 --> 00:15:12,892
And, um, Gary Von Patio
started dating
373
00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:14,427
Georgia Tralala.
374
00:15:14,494 --> 00:15:16,699
Yeah, that was before
she opened Bowery Playhouse,
375
00:15:16,966 --> 00:15:19,171
which sadly has gotten
less experimental
over the years.
376
00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:21,041
-But you got to
keep the lights on.
-Yeah.
377
00:15:21,108 --> 00:15:22,477
And that's how we know
378
00:15:22,578 --> 00:15:26,519
[both] Steve Winslow,
who owns the club.
379
00:15:26,586 --> 00:15:29,458
-Thank you. [chuckles] Thanks.
-[hostess] Mm-hmm.
380
00:15:29,592 --> 00:15:31,328
-Gary Von Patio?
-Bowery Playhouse?
381
00:15:31,394 --> 00:15:33,031
[chuckles]
I just reached for it
and there it was.
382
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:34,134
-It came to me.
-Your mind.
383
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,438
[♪♪ club music playing]
384
00:15:37,073 --> 00:15:40,079
You're so lucky you like
your fake ID family,
385
00:15:40,212 --> 00:15:42,785
and they don't
make you feel lame as shit.
386
00:15:43,152 --> 00:15:46,425
No, they actually
They made me feel,
like, wise and mature.
387
00:15:46,491 --> 00:15:47,628
Pfft.
388
00:15:48,095 --> 00:15:49,565
When did we get mature?
389
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:53,239
You know, I
I mean, I feel like
we just started having fun.
390
00:15:53,405 --> 00:15:55,109
What now, is it over already?
391
00:15:55,342 --> 00:15:56,613
I don't know.
392
00:15:57,013 --> 00:15:58,449
I think it's kind of nice.
393
00:15:59,017 --> 00:16:00,987
Like, we're not
the dumbest people anymore.
394
00:16:01,254 --> 00:16:02,390
[scoffs]
395
00:16:02,490 --> 00:16:04,027
Like, there's kids
that know less than us.
396
00:16:05,429 --> 00:16:07,735
Do you wanna know why I got
Look at me.
397
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:11,542
Do you wanna know why
I got my fake ID when I was 16?
398
00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:13,980
To drink and black out?
399
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,385
To join a WeWork.
400
00:16:16,753 --> 00:16:18,891
[laughs] What?
401
00:16:19,658 --> 00:16:22,463
[crying] And then I got scared,
and I didn't even go.
402
00:16:22,531 --> 00:16:26,706
-Oh, Billie. [chuckling]
No, no, that's
-[cries] I mean
403
00:16:26,773 --> 00:16:28,041
[chuckles]
404
00:16:28,175 --> 00:16:31,816
-I'm unemployed. I'm not cool.
-No.
405
00:16:32,016 --> 00:16:35,056
And what if If
If I'm not young anymore
[crying] then what am I even?
406
00:16:35,256 --> 00:16:36,793
Billie, you don't
407
00:16:37,026 --> 00:16:38,530
Okay, well,
you don't want to be
that young anymore.
408
00:16:38,596 --> 00:16:40,266
No, you don't wanna
be 20 years old.
409
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,907
Twenty-year-olds, they're all
like shallow and weird,
410
00:16:44,073 --> 00:16:45,644
and they only care about sex.
411
00:16:45,644 --> 00:16:45,678
and they only care about sex.
Like, you're not like that.
412
00:16:45,678 --> 00:16:47,548
Like, you're not like that.
413
00:16:47,581 --> 00:16:49,552
Like, I bet
I bet Sophie-Rose is just here
to hook up with some guy
414
00:16:49,685 --> 00:16:51,455
that she's never gonna
think about ever again.
415
00:16:51,556 --> 00:16:53,760
And she's getting what,
to look cool for one night?
416
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:53,793
And she's getting what,
to look cool for one night?
Like, we're not those people.
417
00:16:53,793 --> 00:16:55,329
Like, we're not those people.
418
00:16:55,429 --> 00:16:58,603
Like, we make memories that,
like, last a long time.
419
00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:00,039
Billie, Billie.
420
00:17:00,139 --> 00:17:02,778
-Which one of you
is the oldest?
-Me.
421
00:17:02,811 --> 00:17:04,080
Great.
422
00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:05,684
-Follow me.
-Ooh, where we going?
423
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,623
Billie, no, no,
that one has therapy
in the morning.
424
00:17:08,957 --> 00:17:10,594
Goddamn it.
425
00:17:11,228 --> 00:17:13,432
Oh. [chuckling] Oh, my God,
you're so funny.
426
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,704
Ah. [chuckles]
I didn't say anything.
427
00:17:15,771 --> 00:17:17,073
[gasps]
428
00:17:17,608 --> 00:17:20,648
[chuckling]
Okay, what are we doing here?
You're you, I'm me.
429
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:21,750
What?
430
00:17:22,283 --> 00:17:23,820
You're Billie.
431
00:17:24,053 --> 00:17:26,058
Uh, I'm just a Samir
who hasn't even
found his Carly yet.
432
00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:28,262
-What? No, no, no, no, no.
-I don't think
that I'm right for you--
433
00:17:28,328 --> 00:17:30,801
No. I'm not actually trying to
have sex with you, okay?
434
00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:33,773
I just want that girl to think
that I'm having sex with you
435
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,278
-All right.
-because I'm fun
and good at club.
436
00:17:36,478 --> 00:17:37,648
-Okay. Okay.
-Okay?
437
00:17:37,648 --> 00:17:38,884
So, can you help me out?
438
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:41,522
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
439
00:17:42,256 --> 00:17:43,392
[moaning]
440
00:17:46,197 --> 00:17:48,503
[both moaning]
441
00:17:48,570 --> 00:17:50,507
[deeper moaning]
442
00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:54,380
[Billie] Oh, I love having sex
in the club.
443
00:17:54,447 --> 00:17:57,621
-[moans]
I've never had sex in a club.
-Yeah. I have.
444
00:17:57,654 --> 00:17:59,157
Oh, ma Oh, wow.
445
00:17:59,224 --> 00:18:01,394
-Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
-You're so good at this.
Oh, my God.
446
00:18:01,562 --> 00:18:03,399
-I'm good at this.
-Yeah.
447
00:18:03,599 --> 00:18:04,802
-Yeah, what about me?
Am I good at this?
-Oh, you're so good at this.
448
00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:05,837
[Billie] Thank you.
449
00:18:05,904 --> 00:18:07,641
[moaning continues]
450
00:18:10,513 --> 00:18:11,649
[moaning ends]
451
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:13,820
[mouthing words]
That should be good.
452
00:18:16,258 --> 00:18:17,794
Oh, my God,
did you just have sex in there?
453
00:18:17,861 --> 00:18:18,896
Yep.
454
00:18:18,896 --> 00:18:18,930
Yep.
-Wait, in the bathroom?
-Yep.
455
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:20,132
-Wait, in the bathroom?
-Yep.
456
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,703
-With a stranger?
-Yes, sir.
457
00:18:21,802 --> 00:18:24,407
-Did you use protection?
-Nada, chica.
458
00:18:24,775 --> 00:18:25,744
Ew.
459
00:18:25,744 --> 00:18:27,013
[Sophie-Rose] Oh, God.
460
00:18:27,614 --> 00:18:29,685
Okay, like you guys
aren't all here to hook up?
[chuckles]
461
00:18:29,752 --> 00:18:33,025
Um, no, we are here
to hang out with our friends.
462
00:18:33,258 --> 00:18:34,427
Okay, um,
463
00:18:35,964 --> 00:18:37,834
I'm gonna help you, okay?
464
00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:40,139
-I don't--
-Alana?
465
00:18:40,406 --> 00:18:42,845
-[Alana] Yeah.
-That woman from before,
you remember?
466
00:18:42,878 --> 00:18:44,113
Yeah?
467
00:18:44,247 --> 00:18:45,784
She just got rawdogged
in the bathroom
468
00:18:45,851 --> 00:18:47,655
-[stammers]
-so I'm gonna take her
to get a Plan B.
469
00:18:47,721 --> 00:18:49,625
-[Alana] Not rawdogged.
-That's not necessary,
Sophie-Rose.
470
00:18:49,692 --> 00:18:52,531
-[Alana] You're an angel,
Sophie-Rose.
-They're gone!
471
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,301
[Issa] Next one,
next one, next one.
472
00:18:54,368 --> 00:18:56,839
Okay, okay. Uh, oh, uh,
it's a famous classic movie.
473
00:18:56,872 --> 00:18:58,977
Oh, what is it called?
Um, the one
where they're chocolate,
474
00:18:59,043 --> 00:19:01,182
and they're candy,
and the green one
that has legs.
475
00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:03,152
Uh, that's, uh,
M&M's commercial.
476
00:19:03,218 --> 00:19:05,624
It's, like, uh,
one of my favorite movies.
I watched it in film class.
477
00:19:05,691 --> 00:19:07,695
- Citizen Kane?
-Yes, Viktor.
478
00:19:07,762 --> 00:19:09,397
- Kane, Kane, Kane, Kane.
-[Paul] Yes, dude. Nice.
479
00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:11,569
Oh, uh, okay.
I had this as a pet as a kid.
480
00:19:11,636 --> 00:19:13,105
Oh, I had a dog,
a bull terrier.
481
00:19:13,171 --> 00:19:14,207
I had a bull terrier.
Bull terrier!
482
00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:16,178
I My pet. I had this pet.
483
00:19:16,244 --> 00:19:17,715
-You
-Parakeet?
484
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:20,687
Yes, Viktor. P Yes, Viktor,
yeah, what the hell?
485
00:19:20,754 --> 00:19:23,760
-What? [chuckles]
Viktor. Viktor.
-[Paul] Yes.
486
00:19:24,094 --> 00:19:25,563
Gotcha! [chuckles]
487
00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:27,735
Okay, uh, he's a famous
baseball player. He's, uh
488
00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:30,172
Oh, easy,
it's my dad's first name
and then the month I was born.
489
00:19:30,305 --> 00:19:31,675
Oh, so it's Steve!
Steve October!
490
00:19:31,742 --> 00:19:33,846
I know it's Steve October.
It's Steve October.
491
00:19:33,846 --> 00:19:33,880
I know it's Steve October.
It's Steve October.
Give me that. Steve October.
492
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,583
Give me that. Steve October.
493
00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:38,890
Willie Mays?
494
00:19:39,725 --> 00:19:41,261
Yeah, Viktor. [stammers]
495
00:19:41,996 --> 00:19:43,866
Baseball player Willie Mays.
496
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:45,571
It's a good guess, though.
497
00:19:45,637 --> 00:19:47,575
[Billie] Sophie-Rose, I'm fine.
498
00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:50,113
I just had cool casual sex.
499
00:19:50,312 --> 00:19:52,016
I don't need it, okay?
500
00:19:52,249 --> 00:19:54,087
Actually, maybe we should
get you a Gatorade
'cause you seem drunk.
501
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,425
Thank you so much.
Just sorry about her.
Ignore her.
502
00:19:56,491 --> 00:19:57,794
I'm taking care of her
'cause she's drunk.
503
00:19:57,928 --> 00:19:59,565
No, she's not
taking care of me, okay.
504
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,936
Sophie-Rose,
I'm not gonna take it.
505
00:20:03,105 --> 00:20:07,246
Oh, is it because
it's your last chance
to have kids?
506
00:20:09,551 --> 00:20:10,887
[Billie] Give me that.
507
00:20:13,993 --> 00:20:16,665
Let me see your tongue.
Let me see your tongue.
508
00:20:17,734 --> 00:20:19,237
Under.
509
00:20:19,739 --> 00:20:20,807
[swallows]
510
00:20:21,809 --> 00:20:24,447
Amazing.
Okay, I'm gonna go pay.
511
00:20:25,650 --> 00:20:29,423
And remember, your generation
fought for this.
512
00:20:38,876 --> 00:20:43,352
Hi, uh, what happens
if you take Plan B
on an empty stomach?
513
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:45,657
-On an empty stomach? You--
-No, no, no, no.
514
00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:47,561
On an empty
[whispering] uterus.
515
00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:51,434
[whispering]
Does anything bad come out?
516
00:20:57,648 --> 00:20:59,217
[Anton]
Do you track Billie or not?
517
00:20:59,284 --> 00:21:01,923
Yeah, it says her location
was here seven minutes ago.
518
00:21:02,257 --> 00:21:03,894
Okay, well,
where should we go next?
519
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,763
[Anton's friend] Hmm.
520
00:21:05,763 --> 00:21:05,764
[Anton's friend] Hmm.
There's this piano bar
where the waiters
fully abuse you, or
521
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,400
There's this piano bar
where the waiters
fully abuse you, or
522
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:09,204
-No, that. Immediately.
Let's go.
-Right?
523
00:21:09,403 --> 00:21:11,241
[sighs] Okay, you really
don't have to pay me back.
It's fine.
524
00:21:11,308 --> 00:21:13,411
-[Billie] Yes, I do.
-Can you at least
just Venmo me then?
525
00:21:13,646 --> 00:21:16,317
-[Billie]
No, because my phone died.
-[knocks on door]
526
00:21:17,654 --> 00:21:19,391
Oh, no,
you're not supposed to do that.
527
00:21:19,457 --> 00:21:22,831
[chuckling] Okay.
Says the girl who just
had sex with a stranger.
528
00:21:22,898 --> 00:21:24,134
Here you go, dude.
529
00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:26,104
Okay, give me
your fucking money right now!
530
00:21:26,171 --> 00:21:28,242
-Oh, my fucking God!
-Give me your fucking money!
531
00:21:28,375 --> 00:21:29,645
My name
My name is Billie Schaeffer.
532
00:21:29,712 --> 00:21:31,448
-Please don't hurt me, okay?
-Oh, my God!
533
00:21:31,515 --> 00:21:33,218
It says
she should be right here.
534
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:34,622
-[clamoring]
-Oh!
535
00:21:34,755 --> 00:21:36,458
-Oh, no!
-[Anton] Oh, my, God, Billie!
536
00:21:36,526 --> 00:21:38,095
-Billie!
-Oh, my God.
537
00:21:38,361 --> 00:21:39,999
Who the fuck are they? Give me
Give me some cash or give me
538
00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:42,102
[stammers] I need a card.
I need a credit card.
539
00:21:42,102 --> 00:21:42,103
[stammers] I need a card.
I need a credit card.
-I don't have
a credit card on me.
-[Anton's friend] Me either.
540
00:21:42,103 --> 00:21:43,573
-I don't have
a credit card on me.
-[Anton's friend] Me either.
541
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,242
[both] I never pay for drinks.
542
00:21:45,544 --> 00:21:47,480
-Stop, stop, stop, stop.
-Open it! Open it!
543
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,183
I'm trying, Billie.
I'm tapping my Apple Pay,
but it's not working.
544
00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:50,887
-Who the fuck's that? Hurry up.
-No, I just No, don't
545
00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:53,092
Okay, ready?
Three, two, one, pull.
546
00:21:53,325 --> 00:21:55,698
[shouting]
No, it's three, two, one,
on the one you pull.
547
00:21:55,830 --> 00:21:57,534
-I'll push.
-Three, two, push.
548
00:21:57,601 --> 00:21:59,939
-Are you pushing? Not one.
-It's not a push.
It's not push.
549
00:22:00,006 --> 00:22:02,243
-[robber] Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go.
-Calm down. Calm down, okay?
550
00:22:02,310 --> 00:22:05,750
Okay, sir, we are going
to get cash out to give you.
551
00:22:05,850 --> 00:22:09,057
-[screams]
-[Billie screams] Oh, my God.
552
00:22:09,123 --> 00:22:12,263
-Are you fucking kidding me,
Sophie-Rose?
-[crying] I'm sorry!
553
00:22:12,496 --> 00:22:14,701
-Oh, no, no, no.
-It's bad.
We're watching Billie go blind.
554
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:16,940
[robber] Okay,
shut the fuck up. Shut up!
555
00:22:17,006 --> 00:22:19,444
Hey, I know the police chief
Bob Zimmer, and he's gonna
give you the fucking chair.
556
00:22:19,578 --> 00:22:21,515
Just shut up.
Shut up. Get back.
557
00:22:21,615 --> 00:22:24,287
Okay, everybody,
just take a fucking breath!
558
00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:26,024
-[Sophie-Rose crying]
-[shouts] Okay?
559
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:28,328
Okay.
560
00:22:28,763 --> 00:22:31,936
I'm giving you my bag.
It's plastic and it's $15.
561
00:22:32,002 --> 00:22:34,140
-Sophie-Rose,
give him your bag.
-[crying] No.
562
00:22:34,207 --> 00:22:36,646
-Give him your bag,
Sophie-Rose.
-Give the bag.
563
00:22:36,712 --> 00:22:41,121
Sir, that is Miu Miu.
It's one step down from Prada.
I looked it up earlier.
564
00:22:41,154 --> 00:22:43,693
-[Sophie-Rose crying]
-[Billie] Now,
just leave the vestibule.
565
00:22:43,759 --> 00:22:45,596
-He's gone, Billie. He's gone.
-Oh, my God. Thanks.
566
00:22:45,763 --> 00:22:47,500
-He's gone.
-Oh, my God.
567
00:22:47,568 --> 00:22:50,507
-[crying] Oh, fucking shit.
What the fuck?
-Are you okay? [panting]
568
00:22:51,508 --> 00:22:54,013
-I'm hailing a cab.
-Oh, my God, I want to go home.
569
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,519
Yeah, I know, Sophie-Rose.
We're going to take you home.
570
00:22:56,652 --> 00:22:58,255
[crying] No, I mean
home to Michigan.
571
00:22:58,756 --> 00:23:01,929
Like, everything is
so stressful. It's scary.
572
00:23:02,029 --> 00:23:05,803
The laundry in my building,
it's never worked.
573
00:23:06,772 --> 00:23:08,510
I have so much dirty clothes.
574
00:23:08,576 --> 00:23:11,883
-Laundry's tough.
-[crying] Everything is just
so hard here,
575
00:23:11,950 --> 00:23:14,420
and I don't feel anything
like Carrie Bradshaw.
576
00:23:14,487 --> 00:23:15,957
Okay, where are you?
577
00:23:15,957 --> 00:23:17,226
Like, anything like her.
578
00:23:17,527 --> 00:23:19,130
Okay, come here, come here,
come here. Okay.
579
00:23:19,163 --> 00:23:21,000
-I think I'm having
a panic attack.
-No, you're okay.
580
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,038
-I think that's what this is.
-You're okay. You're okay.
581
00:23:23,338 --> 00:23:26,779
-[breathes deeply]
-How did you even know
how to handle that?
582
00:23:27,881 --> 00:23:32,456
It comes with age, I guess.
583
00:23:32,657 --> 00:23:34,361
-[chuckles]
-Ow.
584
00:23:34,427 --> 00:23:36,497
[stammers] We were just mugged.
That was that was crazy.
585
00:23:36,565 --> 00:23:39,270
[stammers] He had a gun.
He had a gun.
586
00:23:39,739 --> 00:23:43,546
That was crazy. [stammers]
Has that happened to you?
[stammers]
587
00:23:48,589 --> 00:23:49,858
Sorry, um
588
00:23:50,794 --> 00:23:52,731
I'm married. [stammers]
589
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:54,433
To who?
590
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:57,774
Um Uh, his name is Paul Baker.
591
00:23:59,979 --> 00:24:02,617
Well, that's the fakest name
I've heard all night.
592
00:24:03,753 --> 00:24:05,223
-[door opens]
-[Issa] Hi, hi, hi, hi!
593
00:24:05,289 --> 00:24:07,126
They're here.
We found you guys.
We tracked you.
594
00:24:07,159 --> 00:24:08,596
We tracked you.
595
00:24:08,696 --> 00:24:10,032
-[Paul] Hi, friends.
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
-Hi.
596
00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:12,971
-Paul Baker. Nice to meet you.
-Oh, this is
597
00:24:13,606 --> 00:24:15,075
-[Paul stammers]
Where we going?
-The cab.
598
00:24:15,175 --> 00:24:16,679
-[Paul] Where we going?
-I'm going to get in this cab.
599
00:24:16,746 --> 00:24:17,748
[Paul] No!
Guys, the night just started.
600
00:24:17,814 --> 00:24:19,217
Um, it was so nice to meet you.
601
00:24:19,284 --> 00:24:20,887
-No, no, no, no.
To the next bar.
-I am so sorry.
602
00:24:20,987 --> 00:24:23,091
-[Paul] Anton, please.
-[Issa] Come on. Come on.
603
00:24:23,124 --> 00:24:26,632
-So lame. Come on.
-Guys, the night is
the night is young.
604
00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:29,738
[both sigh]
605
00:24:30,540 --> 00:24:31,975
[chuckles]
606
00:24:33,244 --> 00:24:36,250
-Ah.
-[chuckles] Hey, what the hell?
607
00:24:36,250 --> 00:24:36,284
-Ah.
-[chuckles] Hey, what the hell?
-Hey. What's up?
-Who are you
608
00:24:36,284 --> 00:24:38,656
-Hey. What's up?
-Who are you
609
00:24:38,756 --> 00:24:40,594
and why is this
such an awesome little jacket?
610
00:24:40,793 --> 00:24:41,963
Yeah. You look great. Yeah.
611
00:24:42,029 --> 00:24:43,867
-Okay, where we going?
-[Issa] We're gonna go
612
00:24:43,933 --> 00:24:45,536
Uh, we're going out
for the best night ever.
[chuckles]
613
00:24:45,703 --> 00:24:47,607
[♪♪ "Baddest" playing]
614
00:24:47,674 --> 00:24:49,310
♪♪ I'm the baddest bitch
In this club ♪♪
615
00:24:49,376 --> 00:24:51,214
♪♪ Who's the baddest bitch
In this club? ♪♪
616
00:24:51,515 --> 00:24:53,418
♪♪ I'm the baddest bitch
In this club ♪♪
617
00:24:53,485 --> 00:24:56,659
♪♪ When the saints
Go marching in ♪♪
618
00:24:56,726 --> 00:24:58,328
♪♪ Go marching in ♪♪
619
00:24:58,395 --> 00:25:02,103
♪♪ Oh, Lord, I want to be
In that number ♪♪
620
00:25:02,202 --> 00:25:05,644
♪♪ When the saints
Go marching in ♪♪
621
00:25:05,710 --> 00:25:07,547
♪♪ Go marching in ♪♪
622
00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:09,618
[♪♪ "Baddest" continues playing]
623
00:25:09,685 --> 00:25:11,188
♪♪ Let's go, let's get it
Let's go ♪♪
624
00:25:11,522 --> 00:25:13,092
♪♪ Hands up
Hands up ♪♪
625
00:25:13,224 --> 00:25:15,262
♪♪ Hands up
Hands up ♪♪
626
00:25:15,262 --> 00:25:15,329
♪♪ Hands up
Hands up ♪♪
♪♪ Okay
Let's go ♪♪
627
00:25:15,329 --> 00:25:16,999
♪♪ Okay
Let's go ♪♪
628
00:25:17,066 --> 00:25:18,970
♪♪ I'm the baddest bitch
In this club ♪♪
629
00:25:19,036 --> 00:25:20,973
♪♪ Who's the baddest bitch
In this club? ♪♪
630
00:25:21,074 --> 00:25:22,978
♪♪ I'm the baddest bitch
In this club ♪♪
631
00:25:23,011 --> 00:25:24,948
♪♪ Who's the baddest bitch
In this club? ♪♪
632
00:25:25,048 --> 00:25:27,587
♪♪ I'm the baddest bitch
In this club ♪♪
633
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,591
♪♪ Hey, what
Hey, what ♪♪
634
00:25:29,658 --> 00:25:31,361
♪♪ Hey, what
Hey, what ♪♪
635
00:25:31,628 --> 00:25:33,365
♪♪ Shake that thing
Shake that thing ♪♪
636
00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:35,369
♪♪ Shake that thing
Yo, yo ♪♪
637
00:25:35,436 --> 00:25:37,306
♪♪ Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go, go ♪♪
638
00:25:37,373 --> 00:25:39,043
♪♪ Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go, go ♪♪
639
00:25:39,110 --> 00:25:40,980
♪♪ Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go, go ♪♪
640
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,652
♪♪ I'm the baddest bitch
In this club ♪♪
50687
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