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1
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- Parents are throwing soccer parties.
- Friends are having graduation parties.
2
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- My soccer team says you suck.
- I graduated!
3
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,350
- I want a party now!
- I want a party too!
4
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:26,720
- Money, money, money, money!
- Money, money, money, money!
5
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,524
Mom, Daddy's gone away again.
6
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:34,495
Oh, he's just visiting
his retirement property.
7
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,132
Well, how are we supposed
to know, he's always a veg.
8
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Just as well.
I'm sick of looking at him anyway.
9
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,038
Honey.
10
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,014
Oh, Peg, not you.
11
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:59,320
I was in a hammock mourning
the anniversary of your passing.
12
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:03,924
- Well, where were we, Daddy?
- Well, see, kids, it was a dream.
13
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:07,495
You were replaced by
two six-packs in the refrigerator.
14
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,465
Well, weren't we cold?
15
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,969
I was. You were empty.
16
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:20,074
Oh, Al, it's gonna take you
20 years to pay off that property.
17
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:23,544
And then once it's paid off,
I'm never gonna let you go there.
18
00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:26,480
Come on. Take this "how well
do you know your mate?" quiz.
19
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,650
No, I hate those tests.
They're designed to bury men.
20
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,920
- I'm not playing.
- Question one.
21
00:02:33,087 --> 00:02:35,389
Okay, you have to close
your eyes for this one.
22
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,892
What color is my hair?
23
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,563
Red.
24
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,598
Well, good.
25
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,602
Question two: Who would you
rather spend the night with?
26
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,538
A, your wife, or B--
27
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,306
B.
28
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,216
Peggy, I need some advice.
29
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:04,084
Can we have some privacy?
30
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,691
Open up, babe.
31
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:14,395
Tell us what you got.
We're here for you.
32
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:19,066
Well, I went to a banking
seminar this weekend...
33
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:23,704
...and I guess the whole world
knows no one parties like a banker.
34
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:29,243
Anyway, all I know is I woke up
this morning with a man in my bed.
35
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,345
I don't even know who he is.
36
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:35,316
Well, that's easy, he slept with you,
he's the stupidest man on Earth.
37
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:43,190
Al, we're talking about sex.
Leave it to those who do it.
38
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,694
Now, Marcie, this is serious.
39
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,830
I want you to steady
yourself and concentrate.
40
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,966
Was he any good?
41
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,603
I don't know. I don't even know
what he looks like.
42
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,405
- All right!
- All right!
43
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,842
When I woke up, his head
was buried in the pillow.
44
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,211
But I do know one thing.
45
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,181
Apparently, I married him.
46
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,216
- You got married?
- Oh, let's not panic.
47
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,720
If you married everybody you went
to bed with, you'd be Mrs. Paperboy...
48
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:16,190
...Mrs. Insurance Man, Mrs. Navy.
49
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:21,128
No, idiot, I really married him!
Look at this ring.
50
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,097
And then there's this.
51
00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:27,034
{\an8}"I went to Clyde's No Blood Test
Needed Wedding Chapel...
52
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:30,571
{\an8}...and all I got
was this lousy T-shirt."
53
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,775
Oh, God, it's my husband.
54
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:39,513
- Don't tell him I'm here.
- She's here! Come on in!
55
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,027
I saw a woman come over here.
56
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,928
Are one of you my wife?
57
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,472
All right.
58
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:09,143
Come on, sweetheart,
let's go back to bed.
59
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,944
Bye, Daddy.
60
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:14,748
No, no, no, no.
You've made a mistake.
61
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,117
I'm your wife.
62
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:19,520
Now we can go back to bed.
63
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,321
Oh, shut up.
64
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,857
It's me. It's me.
65
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:28,295
You? Oh, yeah, I remember you now.
66
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:32,066
You were the one on top
of the all-girl banker pyramid.
67
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,635
By the way, my name is Jefferson.
68
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,371
- I'm Marcie.
- Yeah, I'm Al.
69
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,473
Now that the Beatles
have been reunited...
70
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,542
...you can get the hell out of here.
71
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,511
You know, despite our beginning,
I've got a--
72
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,947
I've got a really good feeling
about our marriage.
73
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,483
What'd you say
your name was again?
74
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,789
Peggy, can I talk to you?
75
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,158
Bud, come here.
76
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,363
We have enough information
to tell the neighbors now, don't we?
77
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,499
To sell the neighbors.
78
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,402
Do you do nothing for free?
79
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:15,542
Peggy, I'm worried.
I don't know my husband.
80
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,946
Who does and who wants to?
81
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:23,617
Face it, Marcie, the average
man-woman relationship has, tops...
82
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,452
...three weeks of happiness.
83
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,454
It's the happiness
you feel when he...
84
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:30,858
He turns away from you to burp
rather than turning towards you...
85
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,694
...and saying, "Pull my finger."
86
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:38,999
It's when he at least tries
to hit the toilet.
87
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,469
And when during sex,
you're not lying there thinking:
88
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,972
"What the hell is he doing?"
89
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,843
You know, you're lucky. Your three
weeks of happiness are ahead of you.
90
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:54,348
Who cares who he is?
Look at him. He's gorgeous.
91
00:06:54,515 --> 00:07:00,053
I say saddle up, ride,
and if he breaks a leg, shoot him.
92
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:04,391
Jeff, all kidding aside, run.
93
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:09,263
Run hard, run now,
run silent, run deep.
94
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,899
Run like Mexican water
through a first-time tourist...
95
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:16,403
...but the key word here is "run."
96
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,206
Don't you think she's cute, Al?
97
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:20,808
Run.
98
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:25,579
It's just that I can hardly
believe I'm now Mrs.--
99
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,249
Darling? What's your last name?
100
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,652
D'Arcy.
101
00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:41,361
Marcie D'Arcy?
102
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:45,799
I'm now Marcie D'Arcy?
What have I done?
103
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,903
Maybe I should start wearing
little dresses with dots on them.
104
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,406
Oh, what's the matter, Marcie?
105
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:57,544
Well, aside from the fact that I now
have the name of a cartoon character...
106
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,948
...I'm married and I don't even
remember the wedding.
107
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,884
You remember this, don't you?
108
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,894
Oh, Al.
109
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,702
Oh, Al!
110
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,071
Oh, Al!
111
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:28,108
Oh, please, they're two drunks
who haven't brushed their teeth yet.
112
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,277
Cut that out, you two.
113
00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:32,312
We don't do that in our house...
114
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:36,483
...and I refuse to let strangers
lay their vile customs at our doorstep.
115
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:41,121
And the Yankees take the field.
116
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:45,726
- You know what I was just thinking?
- That hangovers do come true?
117
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:49,529
I was thinking, if you wanna have a
wedding to remember, let's have one.
118
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,132
Let's have the grandest wedding
we can afford.
119
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,369
Yes, let's. I have $2000 saved.
120
00:08:55,535 --> 00:09:01,341
Okay, and let's see,
that brings us to a total of 2040.
121
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:25,032
- We can book a hall.
- Oh, no, you can't book a hall.
122
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,534
I won't hear of that. How impersonal.
123
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:31,738
You'll have your wedding
in God's cathedral, our back yard.
124
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,609
Your back yard is Buck's toilet.
125
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:40,147
No, your back yard is Buck's toilet.
126
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,215
Now, what do you say?
127
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,351
I don't know.
You think we can trust them?
128
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:46,553
Of course. They look...
129
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:53,060
...perfectly trustworthy to me,
and besides...
130
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,762
...it's a closer trip
to the honeymoon suite.
131
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,398
Come on, let's pace it off now.
132
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:07,374
Two thousand dollars buys
a lot of dreams, eh, babe?
133
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,580
Oil you up again, ma'am?
134
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:18,986
I'm sorry your husband fell into that
volcano so he couldn't enjoy Hawaii.
135
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,661
They sure are biting, eh, Mr. Bundy?
136
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:31,732
Too bad the wife did a header
into that quarry.
137
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:35,635
She sure would've loved
your retirement property.
138
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:41,241
- Oh, Al.
- Oh, Peg.
139
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,848
Yeah, I-- I wanna cater a wedding.
140
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:53,253
I'm expecting about 60 people, so I
need about 2 pounds of cold cuts.
141
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,889
Yeah, what's your cheapest price?
142
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:01,128
And what kind of animal
would that be?
143
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,599
Well, at 12 cents a pound,
that's pretty steep.
144
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:10,103
Well, anyway, could you throw
in some beaks and claws?
145
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,039
You got a deal.
146
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,377
Hi, Al.
147
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:22,716
Did you know there's a little rain cloud
that only hangs over your house?
148
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,852
Yeah, it showed up
after the kids were born.
149
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,723
- What can I do for you?
- Well, listen, Al, if Marcie...
150
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:33,794
...should come by asking for me, would
you tell her I went out to buy her a gift?
151
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:38,465
You're running, huh? It's never quite
the same when you're sober, is it?
152
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:41,835
No, that's not it, Al. You see,
I just haven't found a way yet...
153
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,104
...to tell Marcie that...
154
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,506
...well, I have to see
my parole officer.
155
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:52,646
Like "if there's a bucket of beaks
at the wedding, you'll go crazy...
156
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:55,482
...and start slashing"
kind of parole officer?
157
00:11:55,649 --> 00:11:58,985
No, I don't want you to get the wrong
idea, Al. I'm not a bad guy, okay?
158
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,922
I just-- You know...
159
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:06,126
...I stole a bunch of money from
people who trusted me, that's all.
160
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,496
You're not gonna tell anybody,
are you, Al?
161
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:13,533
It's not something I'm real proud of,
especially since I got caught.
162
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,970
Well, Jeff, I'll tell you something.
163
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,506
Telling Al Bundy is just like
telling the wind.
164
00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:21,341
- Thanks, I appreciate it.
- All right.
165
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,877
- See you.
- Go ahead, take care.
166
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:27,948
Peg! Peg!
167
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,652
I know a secret.
168
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,522
What? What?
169
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:38,625
Guess who's been careful not
to drop anything in the shower...
170
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,961
...the last couple of years?
171
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,730
Who? Who?
172
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,732
Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
173
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,502
- Charades!
- Charades!
174
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,573
All right.
175
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:58,378
This is about our new neighbor,
Jefferson.
176
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:00,714
- Jefferson!
- Right!
177
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:07,020
Now, the second part is about...
178
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:11,424
...where he was
before he met Marcie.
179
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,127
Okay. Now...
180
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,329
...sounds like:
181
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,541
You're not listening
to what I'm saying.
182
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,209
All right, now try this.
183
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,379
Two syllables. First word.
184
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:39,419
What do Jefferson, Pete Rose
and your cousin all have in common?
185
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,222
Prison! Jefferson was in prison!
186
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,257
Yes!
187
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,064
Gee, that's great.
188
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,800
- Does Marcie know?
- No. We're not gonna tell her either.
189
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:58,071
She'll cancel the wedding and I won't
get to pay off my retirement property.
190
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,141
- You mean our trip to Hawaii.
- Yeah.
191
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,476
Well, that's what I meant.
192
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,079
Oh, kiss me, you fool.
193
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,820
Get your rice.
194
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:16,556
Get your wedding rice here.
195
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:19,793
Get your rice.
196
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,663
Al. Honey, what is Bud's soccer team
and Kelly's model friends...
197
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:27,267
- ...doing here at the wedding?
- I had to cut a deal with the damn kids.
198
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:30,070
Said they'd spill the beans
if I didn't give them a party.
199
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,272
They blackmailed me, Peg.
200
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,675
This lack of ethics,
where does it come from?
201
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,411
Well, I blame it on TV, myself.
202
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,815
You don't think this will
cut into our profit, do you?
203
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:45,185
That's why I eliminated
some of Marcie's guests.
204
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,654
Where's my mother?
205
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,092
She won't be here.
You should hear this from a friend:
206
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,727
She doesn't love you anymore.
207
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,063
- Get your Red Hots here.
- Well, and where's Aunt Mary?
208
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,833
Mary, Mary, Mary--
Oh, she got snowed in.
209
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,969
- She lives in Phoenix.
- Oh, yeah, Ida got snowed in.
210
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,904
No, Mary's the one who...
211
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:08,942
Who died.
Get your wedding pretzels!
212
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:17,284
Welcome to my wedding.
Are you a friend of the groom's?
213
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:22,255
Al. I think Marcie's
getting suspicious.
214
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,125
We better get the show
on the road and get me to Hawaii.
215
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,560
I wanna be there for the running
of the Samoans.
216
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,063
Okey-dokey.
217
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,499
Well, what's that?
218
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,701
That's the reverend.
219
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,469
That's Captain Hank.
220
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,339
A lot of these church-affiliated
land-loving reverends...
221
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,374
...want money for
a wedding ceremony.
222
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,577
Not Captain Hank. Give him
a bottle of redeye and a Playboy...
223
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:47,347
...and he'll marry
your mother to a cow.
224
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:54,988
Retirement Property One
to garbage scow Toxica.
225
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,123
Come in.
226
00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,926
Toxica here, Al.
227
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,929
Ran into a squall.
Let's kick this wedding into gear, huh?
228
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:07,100
All right, everybody. Take your places.
Places, everybody.
229
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,839
- Where's Reverend Applebee?
- He had an exorcism in Akron.
230
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:15,141
Let's go. Let's go.
231
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:19,179
Daddy, this is the bestest
graduation party a girl ever had.
232
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:20,880
Thank you.
233
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,985
She's so dumb she doesn't
even know she's at a wedding.
234
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:30,490
Are you sure you spent
the whole $2000 on the wedding?
235
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,693
You can look at all this
and ask me a question like that?
236
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,730
Well, the bridesmaid's in place.
237
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,975
- That's not my sister.
- Hey.
238
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:52,312
Hey, unlike your sister,
at least he cares enough to be here.
239
00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:54,414
Well, bring on the orchestra.
240
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,993
All right, enough of the music now.
241
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:13,967
Jefferson come this way. Come--
You two, approach the speaker.
242
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,236
Captain Hank, you still there?
243
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:22,776
Yeah, but we're taking on water here.
Have the couple join hands.
244
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,878
They're already joined, Hank.
245
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,580
Do you take this woman
to be your wife?
246
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,482
- I do.
- I can't hear you.
247
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,251
He did, Hank.
248
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:32,685
Now the broad.
249
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,288
- Do you take--?
- I would now like to read a poem...
250
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,690
...I wrote to my love.
251
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,593
Jefferson, my sudden love
252
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,063
- My love so true, my shining--
- Can't hear you, hon.
253
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,333
- I do!
- I now pronounce you--
254
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,870
Damn it, we just hit a speedboat.
You're now husband and wife.
255
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,840
Full astern, let's get out of here!
256
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,049
You may now kiss the bride.
257
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:07,153
I may now kill the host.
This is the worst day of my life!
258
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,589
Where are my guests?
Where's the photographer?
259
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,725
I did better than that,
I got a wedding artist. Bud.
260
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,240
Copies will take a couple of weeks.
261
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:33,012
Al Bundy, you will pay for this!
You're a cheat, a thief and a liar!
262
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:37,116
Well, now, would it make you feel any
better if I gave you a wedding present?
263
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,853
Well, it's a start.
264
00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:41,321
Okay.
265
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,957
Your husband was in prison.
266
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:53,132
You were in prison
and you didn't tell me?
267
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:57,470
Well, I think it's time to go to the
airport. Kids, turn on the sprinklers.
268
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,472
Wedding's over.
269
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:04,644
Son!
270
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:09,148
You're looking at
the official owner of lot 31...
271
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:13,586
...right across the highway from
a view of Lake Chicamocomico.
272
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,757
- Cool, Dad. Where's Mom?
- She's at the airport.
273
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:21,794
Don't worry, she can earn enough
to get home. She took her accordion.
274
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,832
Where's your sister?
275
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,369
- She went to Wisconsin with the bikers.
- Okay.
276
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,171
- Al?
- Hey, Jefferson.
277
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,973
Where's the blushing bride?
278
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,709
She's jabbing a fork
in the eyes of the little groom...
279
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:39,913
...that was on top of
our wedding Twinkie.
280
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,049
Good. Good, good, good.
281
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:46,786
Son, now look here.
These giant redwood trees?
282
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,655
They're over 1000 years old.
283
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:52,759
I'm gonna cut me one of these down,
use it for the base for my satellite dish.
284
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:57,330
Listen, Al, I just stopped by to thank
you for utterly betraying my trust.
285
00:19:57,497 --> 00:20:01,000
It was malicious and foul, but I think
it's gonna turn out to be a blessing.
286
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:05,405
I mean, it helps get our marriage off to
an honest, healthy, harmonious start.
287
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:11,244
Jefferson D'Arcy, get your
lying inmate ass over here now!
288
00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:18,418
Oh, no.
289
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:22,255
You know, in prison I could've
had her silenced for three cigarettes.
290
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,624
- Oh, well.
- Wait, by the way, Mr. D'Arcy...
291
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:28,294
- ...what were you in for anyway?
- Well, nothing big.
292
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:32,231
Just a scam to sell plots around
this toxic little waste pond...
293
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,268
...called Lake Chicamocomico.
294
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:44,110
Place is so contaminated,
it won't be safe for habitation...
295
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,746
...till the year 5 million.
296
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,049
Now, it hit the news four years ago.
297
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:54,754
Would you believe it? Some of the truly
stupid are still sending in payments.
298
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,024
Stupid.
299
00:21:21,214 --> 00:21:24,484
Well, it beats going to Hawaii
with your mother.
300
00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,622
And what's 5 million years...
301
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,558
...in the scheme of the life
of one man?
302
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:35,862
Well, Dad, you always
got your dreams.
303
00:21:36,029 --> 00:21:38,031
Yeah, right.
24336
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