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1
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,812
Marry me, Cherise.
You're the only one for me.
2
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:22,449
But, Blair, you said that to the twins,
who are secretly your daughters...
3
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:25,886
...who you fathered
when you were in that coma.
4
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,923
You can't really have children
with a man in a coma, can you, Mom?
5
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:37,403
I think there've been
two recorded cases.
6
00:01:38,107 --> 00:01:40,142
I'm home and I'm feeling foul.
7
00:01:41,346 --> 00:01:45,217
So let's have a parting of the butts,
so I can sit down.
8
00:01:47,523 --> 00:01:50,193
Is the fun always over
when Daddy comes home, Mom?
9
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:51,596
It's just suspended now.
10
00:01:51,897 --> 00:01:54,900
It's not officially over
until he takes off his shoes.
11
00:01:55,636 --> 00:01:58,005
Kelly, I know
you're a high-school graduate...
12
00:01:58,174 --> 00:02:00,109
...but you may be
unaware of a new law.
13
00:02:00,277 --> 00:02:01,612
Since 1989...
14
00:02:01,912 --> 00:02:06,317
...the government only permits
one human lump per family.
15
00:02:06,553 --> 00:02:10,390
So I'm afraid the time has come
for you to get a job.
16
00:02:10,558 --> 00:02:12,126
Oh, no, Daddy, you're wrong.
17
00:02:12,294 --> 00:02:16,065
Mommy says that I don't have to
do anything. I'm a girl.
18
00:02:17,635 --> 00:02:20,605
Sweetheart, your mother is
the last of a vanishing breed:
19
00:02:20,906 --> 00:02:23,909
The tyrannosaurus-do-nothingness.
20
00:02:24,343 --> 00:02:26,111
But there's still hope for you, honey.
21
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:30,984
You can still get up off the couch
without it making a suction noise.
22
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:37,424
So join with Daddy, won't you please,
in actually earning a living.
23
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,561
But, honey, for Daddy's ego...
24
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:43,897
...try not to bring home
more money than he does.
25
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:48,669
So I'd say, try returning pop bottles,
but stop at 10.
26
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:51,504
They're two cents apiece, you know.
27
00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:56,476
Gee, Your Honor, I don't know
where that shotgun came from.
28
00:02:59,043 --> 00:03:01,646
Now, Kelly, honey, you're getting
old enough to know now...
29
00:03:01,946 --> 00:03:04,448
...that you can't go on
mooching off society forever.
30
00:03:04,614 --> 00:03:08,084
So go over to Marcie's house,
steal her newspaper...
31
00:03:08,249 --> 00:03:10,318
...and bring back the section
with want ads.
32
00:03:13,185 --> 00:03:16,222
Al, did you really mean
what you said about me?
33
00:03:16,387 --> 00:03:17,921
You really think I do nothing?
34
00:03:18,088 --> 00:03:21,191
Peg, if you did any less around here,
it would be called haunting.
35
00:03:22,456 --> 00:03:25,059
Well, then you have
a pretty short memory.
36
00:03:25,224 --> 00:03:29,461
It's me who brass-knuckles
your underwear into that hamper.
37
00:03:30,259 --> 00:03:33,529
And who invented the broomstick
with the piece of gum on the end of it...
38
00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:35,995
...to pick up your socks?
39
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,729
I believe it was I.
40
00:03:39,028 --> 00:03:40,929
Now, I do plenty around here.
41
00:03:41,094 --> 00:03:42,696
I want an apology.
42
00:03:42,994 --> 00:03:44,763
And I want appreciation.
43
00:03:45,062 --> 00:03:51,035
Until I get some, I, Peggy Bundy,
am officially on strike.
44
00:03:54,228 --> 00:03:58,132
Look, Daddy, I found a job. Listen:
45
00:03:58,361 --> 00:03:59,562
"Pretty girls needed.
46
00:03:59,727 --> 00:04:03,231
No skills. No talent.
47
00:04:03,394 --> 00:04:05,095
No experience.
48
00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:07,162
No redding."
49
00:04:09,526 --> 00:04:11,495
That's "reading," honey.
50
00:04:12,659 --> 00:04:16,963
No reading? Where are they
gonna find anyone that stupid?
51
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,226
No, but look, $400 a month.
52
00:04:20,389 --> 00:04:22,057
That should help out the family, eh?
53
00:04:22,222 --> 00:04:26,493
Well, sweetheart, dear,
this is an ad for a modelling school.
54
00:04:26,653 --> 00:04:29,622
See, I'd have to pay $400 a month.
55
00:04:31,384 --> 00:04:32,752
So, what's the problem?
56
00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:36,487
Peg, could you describe the difference
between paying and earning?
57
00:04:36,681 --> 00:04:39,450
What am I asking you for?
Of course you can't.
58
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:41,481
Come on, Daddy,
I wanna be a model.
59
00:04:41,645 --> 00:04:45,115
Maybe I can get one of those neat jobs
standing in a store window.
60
00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:50,642
Peg, you wanna take this one?
61
00:04:51,638 --> 00:04:53,439
You wanna get
on your hands and knees...
62
00:04:53,603 --> 00:04:56,306
...and admit I'm everything to you?
63
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,435
Kelly, I'm not paying $400 a month...
64
00:05:01,596 --> 00:05:04,199
...so you can walk around
with a book on your head.
65
00:05:06,193 --> 00:05:09,296
Hey, go ahead, pout all you want.
It's not going to work.
66
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:19,219
I am a model.
67
00:05:23,443 --> 00:05:26,279
I'm not cooking tonight, you know.
68
00:05:27,006 --> 00:05:30,142
Then I guess
I'll just have to live on love.
69
00:05:31,368 --> 00:05:35,005
- Not with me, I'm on strike.
- Oh, no.
70
00:05:35,164 --> 00:05:37,700
Then I guess I'll just have to live.
71
00:05:38,926 --> 00:05:42,463
Look, Daddy. And you thought that
your $400 was wasted.
72
00:05:45,619 --> 00:05:48,956
- I'm okay, Daddy.
- Sure you are, sweetheart.
73
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:51,651
Honey, now, go sit over there.
74
00:05:51,946 --> 00:05:53,614
Sit down, dear.
75
00:05:58,871 --> 00:06:01,307
I am a model.
76
00:06:03,532 --> 00:06:05,000
Good, sweetheart.
77
00:06:05,163 --> 00:06:09,467
But, honey, you have been a model
for two weeks now.
78
00:06:09,624 --> 00:06:13,228
You know, if the telephone rings,
I'm not getting it.
79
00:06:13,387 --> 00:06:15,656
Well, if I miss another dinner
with the Trumps...
80
00:06:15,951 --> 00:06:17,553
...I'm gonna take it out on the help.
81
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,248
Honey, this modelling thing
isn't working out.
82
00:06:22,410 --> 00:06:24,078
But I have an idea.
83
00:06:24,241 --> 00:06:27,411
Why don't you take the skills
you've acquired at modelling school...
84
00:06:27,570 --> 00:06:29,639
...and get an important job.
85
00:06:29,934 --> 00:06:33,538
One where you meet the public
and serve them French fries.
86
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:37,165
But, Daddy, I can't stop now.
87
00:06:37,326 --> 00:06:39,328
Modelling is in my blood.
88
00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:44,028
I mean, even my teacher said
that I am a natural-born leg-crosser.
89
00:06:44,185 --> 00:06:45,953
Watch.
90
00:06:49,113 --> 00:06:51,048
I can do it at will.
91
00:06:53,009 --> 00:06:55,211
Okay, Kell, I did what you asked.
92
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,842
I put all your Garfield cartoons
on cassette tapes...
93
00:06:58,003 --> 00:06:59,938
...so you can listen to them in the car.
94
00:07:00,101 --> 00:07:03,338
- Now can I meet the modelling babes?
- Isn't he pathetic?
95
00:07:03,498 --> 00:07:05,233
Right, don't worry about him.
Honey...
96
00:07:05,395 --> 00:07:08,866
...have you seen anything down there
Daddy might like?
97
00:07:11,357 --> 00:07:14,360
Yeah, you know, maybe
there's a job for a runway model...
98
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,922
...with dirty underwear.
99
00:07:17,084 --> 00:07:19,854
And now, here's Al...
100
00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:25,421
...looking frisky for fall
in his stained boxer shorts...
101
00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:29,480
...and matching yellowing T-shirt.
102
00:07:29,906 --> 00:07:35,979
Oh, note the holes, new this season
for easy-access scratching.
103
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:39,771
Oh, thank you, Al.
104
00:07:40,432 --> 00:07:45,838
And walking behind him, his socks.
105
00:07:46,961 --> 00:07:51,999
Resplendent in their
no-toe-or-heel look.
106
00:07:52,157 --> 00:07:54,927
Thanks again, Al.
107
00:08:01,418 --> 00:08:03,754
Gee, officer,
if I thought my wife was missing...
108
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:06,821
...would I be in this bar
drinking a beer?
109
00:08:09,981 --> 00:08:12,384
Come on, Kell. I'll do anything.
110
00:08:13,346 --> 00:08:17,017
Well, actually, you could help me study
for this job audition at the auto show.
111
00:08:17,178 --> 00:08:19,080
Can you be a car?
112
00:08:19,343 --> 00:08:23,314
Then will I get to meet the babes?
Pretty ones, as dumb as you?
113
00:08:24,509 --> 00:08:28,080
- Dumber.
- Oh, man.
114
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:31,211
- What kind of car am I?
- 280 zit.
115
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:37,276
They'd better be mighty dumb, Kell.
116
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,542
Okay. Now...
117
00:08:39,839 --> 00:08:41,507
...you just stand here and car.
118
00:08:41,806 --> 00:08:44,375
My job is to come up with
an interesting and exciting way...
119
00:08:44,539 --> 00:08:46,874
...to introduce the new Allante.
120
00:08:47,038 --> 00:08:48,873
- You ready?
- Ready.
121
00:08:49,038 --> 00:08:51,307
The new-- No.
122
00:08:51,472 --> 00:08:53,507
The new-- No.
123
00:08:53,805 --> 00:08:55,840
The new--
124
00:09:02,772 --> 00:09:04,841
Four hundred bucks.
125
00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:07,275
I'm getting an idea,
I'm getting an idea.
126
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,208
How about this?
127
00:09:09,873 --> 00:09:12,042
The new...
128
00:09:12,207 --> 00:09:14,009
Oh, what's the name
of the stupid car?
129
00:09:14,874 --> 00:09:18,478
Kelly, why don't you just write it
on your hand, like you do your name.
130
00:09:19,543 --> 00:09:20,911
No, wait.
131
00:09:21,076 --> 00:09:23,445
Topeka! I have found it!
132
00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:32,082
- I don't think you mean Topeka, Kell.
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
133
00:09:32,246 --> 00:09:34,115
I meant, urethra!
134
00:09:39,850 --> 00:09:41,452
How about this?
135
00:09:43,086 --> 00:09:47,156
The new Allante.
136
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:49,390
What do you think?
137
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:53,393
- I think you got it.
- I know I've got it.
138
00:09:53,558 --> 00:09:55,460
I shall be the Allante girl.
139
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,262
For I have invented
the Bundy bounce.
140
00:10:03,832 --> 00:10:06,067
Allante.
141
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,869
Allante.
142
00:10:09,936 --> 00:10:11,904
Allante.
143
00:10:18,543 --> 00:10:22,481
I feel like I died and went
to Dad's happy box in the basement.
144
00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:27,284
I beg of you, Pepe le Pew...
145
00:10:27,451 --> 00:10:30,054
...control your urges
and your scent, okay?
146
00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:32,122
- Okay.
- I'm gonna go practice my Allantes.
147
00:10:32,288 --> 00:10:34,891
Okay, I'm just gonna
wander around...
148
00:10:35,058 --> 00:10:36,292
...and see what's biting.
149
00:10:39,529 --> 00:10:42,532
I do believe I sees my supper.
150
00:10:45,602 --> 00:10:47,270
Hello.
151
00:10:49,472 --> 00:10:52,575
I know you models
are always watching your weight.
152
00:10:52,876 --> 00:10:55,378
Care for a Bud Light?
153
00:11:03,253 --> 00:11:05,788
I'm sorry,
but I think you've mistaken me...
154
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:09,226
...for someone who would
speak to someone like you.
155
00:11:12,196 --> 00:11:15,166
Strike one.
156
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,608
Need some help?
157
00:11:26,444 --> 00:11:28,180
One good turn deserves another.
158
00:11:32,285 --> 00:11:35,488
Strike two.
159
00:11:36,222 --> 00:11:38,457
Allantum. No.
160
00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:41,161
Allantos.
161
00:11:41,395 --> 00:11:43,597
Aluminum.
162
00:11:44,398 --> 00:11:46,133
Kelly.
163
00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:49,236
Allante.
164
00:11:50,438 --> 00:11:52,907
Hi, Kelly. Been practicing?
165
00:11:53,074 --> 00:11:54,409
Nope. Don't need to.
166
00:11:54,576 --> 00:11:56,945
I'm slam-dunking this baby.
167
00:11:57,111 --> 00:11:58,913
You seem
pretty confident for someone...
168
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,450
...who got tension headaches
during smiling class.
169
00:12:04,552 --> 00:12:07,622
So, what are you doing
for your audition?
170
00:12:08,289 --> 00:12:10,992
Well, I come after you...
171
00:12:11,159 --> 00:12:14,996
...so I guess I'll have to wait
until the curly tail disappears.
172
00:12:16,898 --> 00:12:21,135
Oh, then of course,
after the cries of "sooie" die down...
173
00:12:21,302 --> 00:12:24,606
...I'll do my best
to follow in your hoofprints.
174
00:12:30,477 --> 00:12:33,413
- Slut.
- Skank.
175
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,515
Tramp.
176
00:12:35,681 --> 00:12:38,517
Can't accessorize.
177
00:12:40,152 --> 00:12:42,088
That hurt.
178
00:12:43,521 --> 00:12:45,390
With you?
179
00:12:48,325 --> 00:12:50,261
Foul tip.
180
00:12:54,329 --> 00:12:56,131
Excuse me.
181
00:12:56,298 --> 00:13:00,002
I couldn't help but noticing you
undressing me with your eyes.
182
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:05,171
How'd you like to hear my recipe
for a love cocktail?
183
00:13:05,670 --> 00:13:10,074
One cup of you, two cups of me,
put it to boil and serve while hot.
184
00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:16,111
I'll let you touch my hair
if you go away and leave me alone.
185
00:13:16,277 --> 00:13:19,980
- I have to audition.
- You're wasting your time, babe.
186
00:13:20,145 --> 00:13:22,014
My sister's got it locked.
187
00:13:22,179 --> 00:13:24,482
- Who's your sister?
- Kelly.
188
00:13:24,647 --> 00:13:27,950
Anyhow, what do you say
to you and me...
189
00:13:28,115 --> 00:13:30,617
...and one of your friends
makes three?
190
00:13:32,617 --> 00:13:34,586
What exactly is Kelly doing?
191
00:13:35,184 --> 00:13:37,487
She told me not to tell anybody.
192
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,388
Not even me?
193
00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:42,321
No one.
194
00:13:42,987 --> 00:13:44,756
Not even...
195
00:13:45,154 --> 00:13:47,023
...me?
196
00:13:48,555 --> 00:13:51,325
It's called the Bundy bounce
and it goes like this:
197
00:13:51,989 --> 00:13:56,360
The new Allante.
198
00:13:56,690 --> 00:13:58,992
Thanks. That's all I needed to know.
199
00:13:59,157 --> 00:14:02,260
Wait, you said
I could touch your hair.
200
00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:07,727
Okay, everybody. Ladies, attention.
201
00:14:08,025 --> 00:14:10,294
Attention, ladies.
202
00:14:13,258 --> 00:14:15,360
The client is here.
203
00:14:15,691 --> 00:14:18,294
Let's show him
what we can do, all right?
204
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,327
First up, Rochelle Alpert.
205
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:28,160
The new Alpert.
206
00:14:29,156 --> 00:14:30,991
That's my name.
207
00:14:31,156 --> 00:14:34,026
Allante. Allante.
208
00:14:34,189 --> 00:14:37,426
Very good, very good, Rochelle.
209
00:14:39,055 --> 00:14:41,057
Incense Berkowitz.
210
00:14:44,287 --> 00:14:47,356
That's Incense Berkowitz.
211
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:49,087
Next.
212
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,119
Piper Bowman.
213
00:14:56,316 --> 00:14:59,185
Gosh, I'm so nervous.
214
00:14:59,415 --> 00:15:02,218
Well, then perhaps
you should've worn underwear.
215
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,482
Just do the best you can, sweetheart.
216
00:15:08,711 --> 00:15:12,448
The new Allante.
217
00:15:14,341 --> 00:15:17,378
Thank you.
I call it the Bowman bounce.
218
00:15:18,007 --> 00:15:20,242
She stole my bounce.
219
00:15:20,405 --> 00:15:23,008
Gee, how could that have happened?
220
00:15:23,170 --> 00:15:26,274
Excellent. Excellent.
And now, as if there was any need...
221
00:15:26,435 --> 00:15:28,371
...Kelly Bundy.
222
00:15:35,397 --> 00:15:36,632
The new...
223
00:15:38,629 --> 00:15:40,564
...Allante.
224
00:15:41,224 --> 00:15:43,326
It was my bounce.
225
00:15:46,057 --> 00:15:49,561
Don't do anything, huh?
Well, we'll see.
226
00:15:49,722 --> 00:15:52,324
I'll break him. I'll break him.
227
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,321
How about you, boy?
228
00:15:55,484 --> 00:15:58,254
Mommy does things for you,
doesn't she?
229
00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,217
You're not my mommy.
230
00:16:00,381 --> 00:16:03,684
My mother has six nipples
and would lick my belly.
231
00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:09,247
You're the only one
who understands.
232
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,307
Hey, Peg.
233
00:16:14,471 --> 00:16:17,975
- Still on strike?
- What does it look like?
234
00:16:18,202 --> 00:16:21,138
You could be on fire
and I wouldn't know.
235
00:16:21,966 --> 00:16:23,934
This has been
the best two weeks of my life.
236
00:16:24,098 --> 00:16:25,600
You know, the uncertainty is gone.
237
00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:28,499
Accepting your utter uselessness
has freed me.
238
00:16:28,661 --> 00:16:32,332
Since I've been taking care of myself,
food's better, conversation is better...
239
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:36,096
...and without sex,
my hair's coming back.
240
00:16:40,054 --> 00:16:44,692
It's not coming back, honey.
It's just growing up out of your nose.
241
00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:49,154
Peg, would it really make you
feel better if I told you I needed you?
242
00:16:49,314 --> 00:16:51,382
Yes, it would.
243
00:16:58,342 --> 00:17:00,377
Well, I don't.
244
00:17:00,707 --> 00:17:05,245
I got my food, got my drink,
in a few minutes, got my ball game.
245
00:17:07,070 --> 00:17:11,508
- Remote. Peg?
- Yes, sweetheart?
246
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:14,002
The ball game's coming on
in a few minutes.
247
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:18,571
- Where's the remote control?
- You mean, your shooting iron?
248
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,865
Your magic wand?
249
00:17:21,029 --> 00:17:24,432
The only way
you could turn anything on.
250
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:27,863
Yes. Have you seen it?
251
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:31,461
Well, you know, sweetheart,
yes, as a matter of fact, I have.
252
00:17:31,623 --> 00:17:36,295
And I would love to tell you
where it is but, gee, I can't.
253
00:17:36,454 --> 00:17:38,657
I'm on strike.
254
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,556
Fine. Don't need it.
255
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,655
Watch TV without it.
256
00:17:44,385 --> 00:17:46,820
There. Game's on.
257
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:50,387
We'll be back with the kickoff
after these messages.
258
00:17:55,848 --> 00:17:59,451
We'll be back with the second half
after these messages.
259
00:17:59,613 --> 00:18:04,618
I'm an active gal, and as such,
I need maximum protection.
260
00:18:09,211 --> 00:18:10,812
It's fine. I don't need it.
261
00:18:10,977 --> 00:18:12,179
I'm happy.
262
00:18:12,343 --> 00:18:14,312
I have everything else.
263
00:18:21,608 --> 00:18:25,279
I don't need TV.
How long has it been?
264
00:18:25,842 --> 00:18:29,245
It's been 10 seconds.
All right, Peg, I give up.
265
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,410
I'll do anything.
266
00:18:31,575 --> 00:18:34,611
Give me what I need, baby!
267
00:18:36,441 --> 00:18:39,111
Give me my remote control.
268
00:18:39,575 --> 00:18:42,311
And what will daddy give mommy?
269
00:18:42,475 --> 00:18:45,344
Well, I already told you I needed you.
What else do you want?
270
00:18:47,176 --> 00:18:49,578
Oh, no!
271
00:18:50,309 --> 00:18:52,278
Oh, Peg, it's light out,
for God's sake.
272
00:18:52,442 --> 00:18:56,213
We'll be able to see each other.
You know I hate that.
273
00:18:56,544 --> 00:18:58,979
Well, honey,
we wouldn't want anything...
274
00:18:59,144 --> 00:19:01,947
...to happen to your remote control,
would we?
275
00:19:02,112 --> 00:19:04,447
Okay, honey.
But just a quickie, okay?
276
00:19:04,612 --> 00:19:08,950
- No, I want the full minute and a half.
- Okay.
277
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:13,518
- And I want the shoes off.
- Oh, God!
278
00:19:17,983 --> 00:19:19,919
How could she know
about the Bundy bounce?
279
00:19:20,084 --> 00:19:22,253
I mean, the only one who knew
besides me was you.
280
00:19:22,418 --> 00:19:24,453
How could she find out?
281
00:19:29,355 --> 00:19:30,957
Well, I may as well face it...
282
00:19:31,123 --> 00:19:33,458
...we may never be able
to piece this thing together.
283
00:19:39,294 --> 00:19:42,630
Hi, kids. Did you know your father
is hanging from the window...
284
00:19:42,930 --> 00:19:45,666
...butt bare to the world,
screaming for help?
285
00:19:46,065 --> 00:19:47,900
That's okay, Mom's with him.
286
00:19:48,066 --> 00:19:49,267
Well, if you'll excuse me...
287
00:19:49,434 --> 00:19:52,304
...someone stole an idea from me
and cost me a modelling job...
288
00:19:52,469 --> 00:19:56,240
...so I'm going to handle this the only
way that us Bundys know how:
289
00:19:57,173 --> 00:19:59,909
With swift and blinding violence.
290
00:20:00,409 --> 00:20:03,345
Oh, no, now,
wait a minute, young lady.
291
00:20:03,512 --> 00:20:06,181
If you've got a problem
you want to solve with violence...
292
00:20:06,348 --> 00:20:08,584
...shouldn't you talk to your parents?
293
00:20:08,883 --> 00:20:15,022
- You can run, but you can't hide.
- No, Peg! Oh, no!
294
00:20:16,157 --> 00:20:17,558
Could I perhaps help in any way?
295
00:20:17,992 --> 00:20:20,428
Well, you could wait outside
with the engine running.
296
00:20:21,028 --> 00:20:23,331
Kelly, haven't you ever
heard the phrase:
297
00:20:23,497 --> 00:20:26,467
"You can catch more flies with honey
than you can with vinegar"?
298
00:20:26,634 --> 00:20:29,604
But if you pull their wings off
they'll eat what you give them.
299
00:20:29,904 --> 00:20:32,306
No, Kelly,
let me put this another way.
300
00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,943
You're a woman now, not a child.
301
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:39,147
You should solve your problems in the
mature, sophisticated way of the adult.
302
00:20:39,315 --> 00:20:42,418
Call 911! Hurry! Hurry!
303
00:20:49,628 --> 00:20:55,100
And if your parents were adults
instead of stick figures...
304
00:20:55,269 --> 00:20:57,004
...I'm sure they would agree with me.
305
00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:59,473
So my advice to you would be
to go to this person...
306
00:20:59,641 --> 00:21:03,278
...and appeal to her sense of fairness.
Explain how much she hurt you...
307
00:21:03,446 --> 00:21:06,683
...and she'll respond to your maturity
with maturity.
308
00:21:06,984 --> 00:21:11,022
For women, unlike men,
have the capacity to feel.
309
00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:12,458
We talk things out.
310
00:21:12,626 --> 00:21:15,596
So you tell her a cheater never wins
and a winner never cheats...
311
00:21:15,764 --> 00:21:18,533
...and she'll give you that job back.
312
00:21:21,339 --> 00:21:24,208
And now, the car of tomorrow.
313
00:21:24,377 --> 00:21:27,347
The new Allante.
314
00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:37,330
Now, please follow me
to our next exhibit.
315
00:21:40,202 --> 00:21:42,304
Well, congratulations, Miss Bundy.
316
00:21:42,473 --> 00:21:48,012
- But what happened to Miss Bowman?
- Oh, stage fight-- I mean, fright.
317
00:21:49,085 --> 00:21:51,787
- Well, congratulations.
- Thank you.
318
00:21:52,321 --> 00:21:57,193
Oh, Bud. I came, I saw, I bounced.
319
00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:03,032
Today, the Allante girl,
tomorrow, slut in a Bon Jovi video.
320
00:22:05,067 --> 00:22:07,370
Reach for those stars, eh, Kell?
321
00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:10,373
You should feel pretty proud.
You didn't even read your hand.
322
00:22:11,140 --> 00:22:15,010
Yeah, but now I have to read my hand
because I wrote myself a little note.
323
00:22:15,177 --> 00:22:19,248
It says, "The one who...."
Oh, what's that word?
324
00:22:20,049 --> 00:22:23,686
"...told about the Bundy bounce was...
See other hand."
24876
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