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1
00:01:27,509 --> 00:01:28,843
What's wrong with Daddy?
2
00:01:29,009 --> 00:01:31,745
Oh, he's just paying bills.
3
00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:34,179
Nothing to concern us.
4
00:01:34,711 --> 00:01:38,148
Just be happy he's not banging
his head against the table.
5
00:01:42,814 --> 00:01:45,550
Well, I'm signing now, Lord.
6
00:01:46,215 --> 00:01:49,218
Please just smite me
before I get to the Y in "Bundy."
7
00:01:50,517 --> 00:01:52,685
Oh, give me that pen.
8
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,920
Bundy.
9
00:01:55,118 --> 00:01:58,355
Yet another thing
you start that I finish.
10
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:03,657
Well, now that that's done,
how about taking us to the movies?
11
00:02:03,822 --> 00:02:07,959
Well, perhaps you were fooled
by the opulent luxury of our home.
12
00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:10,825
You see, believe it or not,
we're broke.
13
00:02:10,991 --> 00:02:12,859
Now, I know I've said
we're broke before...
14
00:02:13,025 --> 00:02:16,128
...and you've all been very brave
and spent anyway...
15
00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:18,962
...but it's really time
to tighten our belts.
16
00:02:19,127 --> 00:02:21,163
Now, Peg, what can you do without?
17
00:02:21,828 --> 00:02:24,264
Apparently, an orgasm.
18
00:02:29,631 --> 00:02:31,332
Way to get one.
19
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,234
Kelly, and you?
20
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,403
Well, I think that we all could do
without war, Daddy.
21
00:02:40,835 --> 00:02:43,538
Now do you think you should have
gained more than five pounds...
22
00:02:43,702 --> 00:02:45,404
...when you were pregnant with her?
23
00:02:46,403 --> 00:02:48,071
There must be
somebody around here...
24
00:02:48,237 --> 00:02:50,139
...that can think of a way
to save money.
25
00:02:50,772 --> 00:02:52,707
Hey, Dad, I got my license.
26
00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:54,774
Can I have a new car?
27
00:02:55,706 --> 00:02:59,677
Daddy's broke. You're gonna have
to ask Mommy to get one for you.
28
00:02:59,908 --> 00:03:02,911
- Mommy, can have a new car?
- Sure you can.
29
00:03:04,242 --> 00:03:06,344
Well, what the hell,
new cars for everyone.
30
00:03:08,343 --> 00:03:11,280
Quiet, you morons.
31
00:03:11,978 --> 00:03:14,114
There's gonna be no new cars
and no new drivers.
32
00:03:14,279 --> 00:03:15,880
I already can't afford insurance.
33
00:03:16,046 --> 00:03:18,048
What, with Kelly here
and the U-turn queen.
34
00:03:21,848 --> 00:03:26,920
It's not my fault that they always put
sales on the other side of the street.
35
00:03:27,782 --> 00:03:29,417
Dad, all my friends are driving.
36
00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:33,253
Well, if all your friends were getting
married, would you do that too?
37
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,351
Look, forget a car.
38
00:03:35,617 --> 00:03:38,854
There's no reason to take one when
you can take a perfectly good bus.
39
00:03:40,885 --> 00:03:45,123
Oh, yeah, I'd look real cool picking
up that special date in the old bus.
40
00:03:45,986 --> 00:03:47,621
And you know what
all the guys say:
41
00:03:47,787 --> 00:03:50,256
"For a handful of girl,
give the bus a whirl."
42
00:03:57,889 --> 00:03:59,724
Oh, come on, Al.
43
00:03:59,956 --> 00:04:01,691
You were worried
about Kelly driving...
44
00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:05,627
...and in the past year
she's only gotten two or three tickets.
45
00:04:07,758 --> 00:04:11,161
And it would have been four
if I hadn't outran those last cops.
46
00:04:12,692 --> 00:04:14,627
They were fast enough
to keep up with me...
47
00:04:14,792 --> 00:04:16,794
...going the wrong way
on the expressway...
48
00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:20,029
...but when it came time
to jump that drawbridge...
49
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:24,163
...they just didn't have the guts.
50
00:04:24,627 --> 00:04:28,831
Well, I guess that solves the mystery
of the bullet hole in my gas tank.
51
00:04:29,795 --> 00:04:30,996
Look, Bud, how about this?
52
00:04:31,161 --> 00:04:33,764
Whenever you wanna go someplace,
I'll take you.
53
00:04:33,929 --> 00:04:39,134
It'll be fun. And that way, the skirts will
think I'm just one of your cool friends.
54
00:04:39,596 --> 00:04:40,797
Oh, yeah.
55
00:04:40,963 --> 00:04:44,767
Then you could even have
a cool nickname like "Jowl Boy."
56
00:04:46,131 --> 00:04:47,732
Son, let this be a lesson to you.
57
00:04:47,897 --> 00:04:51,734
Never do tequila shooters within
a country mile of a marriage chapel.
58
00:05:09,099 --> 00:05:10,734
Fly.
59
00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,435
Tapeworm.
60
00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:27,635
What's that?
61
00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:29,836
Oh, that's Dad's car stereo.
62
00:05:30,035 --> 00:05:33,271
Since we've been cruising together,
he let me fix it up a little.
63
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:37,438
Fifteen-hundred watts
and no volume control.
64
00:05:39,935 --> 00:05:43,438
With the right song,
you can drop a bird at 100 yards.
65
00:05:43,902 --> 00:05:44,937
Cool.
66
00:05:46,268 --> 00:05:48,337
Hey, Daddy,
can I use the car tonight?
67
00:05:48,769 --> 00:05:50,304
What?
68
00:05:50,669 --> 00:05:52,103
What?
69
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:54,671
Mom! Daddy's deaf again!
70
00:05:54,835 --> 00:05:57,171
Oh, I'll fix it.
71
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,738
Is that your way of telling me
we're out of Q-tips?
72
00:06:13,169 --> 00:06:17,307
Honey, if it's good enough for the
toilet, they're good enough for you.
73
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:20,872
- So how was your day, sweetie?
- Well, it was fine.
74
00:06:21,036 --> 00:06:25,106
Just me, cruising around, listening
to the oldies channel at 1500 watts.
75
00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:28,171
Made a lot of new friends.
76
00:06:28,336 --> 00:06:31,406
Take Officer Lewis, for example.
77
00:06:31,669 --> 00:06:34,638
Unfortunately, I couldn't hear
his siren at first, but luckily...
78
00:06:34,802 --> 00:06:36,871
...police cars are now equipped
with rammers...
79
00:06:37,069 --> 00:06:40,139
...that gently eased me into the rail.
80
00:06:40,303 --> 00:06:41,837
Luckily, the cop liked oldies...
81
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:45,472
...so he beat me with his nightstick
to the tune of "Hey Jude."
82
00:06:47,769 --> 00:06:50,205
Then he wrote me up 18 tickets.
83
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,972
Including the one
for bleeding on his pad.
84
00:06:54,802 --> 00:06:56,971
How was your day?
85
00:06:58,101 --> 00:06:59,636
Quit whining, Dad.
86
00:06:59,801 --> 00:07:02,437
Put on the Bon Jovi hair,
and let's roll.
87
00:07:12,035 --> 00:07:16,172
Gee, honey, you look like Tarzan.
88
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,069
He was old and gay.
89
00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:26,170
Well, Peg, if you were Jane,
believe me, he would be.
90
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,035
Come on, son, let's roll.
91
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,136
No way. The car's mine tonight.
92
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:38,136
Come on, Daddy. If not, I have
to stand a street corner...
93
00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:42,737
...and listen to guys yell insulting
remarks and make kissing sounds.
94
00:07:43,032 --> 00:07:45,935
I'm sorry, honey.
We didn't know that was you.
95
00:07:51,998 --> 00:07:54,634
Now, forget it, Kel,
that car is mine tonight.
96
00:07:54,798 --> 00:07:55,999
- Mine.
- Mine!
97
00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:59,000
- Mine!
- That's enough, devil dogs!
98
00:07:59,697 --> 00:08:01,399
Now, I can't take anymore of this.
99
00:08:01,597 --> 00:08:03,232
I'm gonna get car insurance for him...
100
00:08:03,397 --> 00:08:05,799
...and you two can fight
over the car to the death.
101
00:08:11,729 --> 00:08:14,799
Hello,
Jim's Fish, Chips and Insurance?
102
00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:18,398
Al Bundy here. Hi, Jim.
103
00:08:18,562 --> 00:08:21,565
Listen, how much to put my son
on my insurance?
104
00:08:21,728 --> 00:08:23,230
How old?
105
00:08:23,728 --> 00:08:26,531
- Sixteen.
- He's 16.
106
00:08:30,061 --> 00:08:31,863
If you think I'm gonna pay
that much...
107
00:08:32,027 --> 00:08:34,896
...you're as stupid as those
cats you trap and call tuna.
108
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:42,564
You know, when you insult my wife,
Jim, you don't hurt me.
109
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:48,394
Well, what'd he say, Al?
110
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,894
Nothing I haven't said myself.
111
00:08:52,058 --> 00:08:55,361
Now, look, Jim, if that's the best
you can do for a lifetime friend...
112
00:08:55,524 --> 00:08:59,061
...someone who never told the police
what your catch of the day really is...
113
00:08:59,224 --> 00:09:01,359
...then you can
take my insurance and stuff it.
114
00:09:01,523 --> 00:09:03,292
That's right, all of it!
115
00:09:04,323 --> 00:09:07,326
There, family.
Al Bundy takes guff from no one.
116
00:09:07,489 --> 00:09:09,958
Cheap, cheap, cheap.
117
00:09:10,322 --> 00:09:12,224
All right, I'm going to
give you the keys.
118
00:09:12,422 --> 00:09:14,324
- Look out. Get out of the way.
- Mine, mine.
119
00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:15,956
- Me, me, me.
- Look out.
120
00:09:16,121 --> 00:09:20,225
Now, hold it. Just remember,
the one who drives, be very careful...
121
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,155
...because as you know,
we don't have--
122
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,189
- Give me those!
- Look out!
123
00:09:24,353 --> 00:09:27,523
Be very careful because
we don't have any-- Oh, the hell.
124
00:09:32,485 --> 00:09:34,954
Well, at least my pain is gone.
125
00:09:35,118 --> 00:09:36,819
Al?
126
00:09:38,551 --> 00:09:42,054
Honey, you know, I may just be
the wife of a moron...
127
00:09:42,217 --> 00:09:44,286
...but isn't cancelling our insurance...
128
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:48,021
...and giving the car keys
to two teenagers the work of, well...
129
00:09:48,183 --> 00:09:51,119
...the Dalai Lama of morons?
130
00:09:51,849 --> 00:09:53,117
Peg, we don't need insurance.
131
00:09:53,282 --> 00:09:56,385
Insurance is like marriage. You pay,
you never get anything back.
132
00:09:56,549 --> 00:10:01,153
Besides, the car isn't worth more than
100 bucks with both kids in it.
133
00:10:01,514 --> 00:10:03,316
Peg, I'm a real hero.
134
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,316
For once, there's one man
brave enough to stand up and say...
135
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,815
...he doesn't need any
stinking car ins--
136
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:16,315
- Is that my car?
- Yeah.
137
00:10:16,478 --> 00:10:19,548
- Are the kids hurt?
- No.
138
00:10:21,443 --> 00:10:24,013
Then I have to do it myself.
139
00:10:32,975 --> 00:10:34,810
Gee, what a wreck!
140
00:10:34,975 --> 00:10:37,411
A 500 SL Mercedes?
141
00:10:37,707 --> 00:10:40,810
You had to hit an $100,000 Mercedes?
142
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,142
You know, it's amazing.
143
00:10:42,307 --> 00:10:46,745
Your Dodge, with the high
blue-book value of $70...
144
00:10:47,706 --> 00:10:51,377
...sliced right through
that Kraut car like toast.
145
00:10:52,071 --> 00:10:57,410
I'm telling you, it is times like these
that I am proud to be an American.
146
00:10:59,104 --> 00:11:00,372
That's good, Peg.
147
00:11:00,737 --> 00:11:04,140
Then it'll be your job to make sure Old
Glory is flying high above our heads...
148
00:11:04,303 --> 00:11:06,372
...as we wait in line for free cheese.
149
00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:12,040
Well, how much could it cost
to fix it, huh? A half a mil?
150
00:11:12,468 --> 00:11:15,404
You know he's gonna sue.
That's the problem with America today.
151
00:11:15,668 --> 00:11:17,603
There's jerks everywhere
suing for nothing.
152
00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:20,737
- He hit me, Dad.
- We're suing.
153
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,636
Peg, get the kids some neck braces.
154
00:11:25,332 --> 00:11:26,700
But, Daddy, we weren't hurt.
155
00:11:26,865 --> 00:11:29,134
Why can't you be more
like your brother?
156
00:11:29,299 --> 00:11:31,701
You don't hear him
whining he's not hurt.
157
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:35,135
Al, honey, you know
we can't win a lawsuit.
158
00:11:35,298 --> 00:11:38,334
Why, ever since Bundy v.
the Girl Scouts of America...
159
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:42,368
...when you claimed to have choked
on a bone in a butter cookie...
160
00:11:43,163 --> 00:11:45,198
...no judge has
ever believed a Bundy.
161
00:11:45,363 --> 00:11:46,731
Like I ever had a chance.
162
00:11:46,896 --> 00:11:48,330
Peg, as God as my witness...
163
00:11:48,495 --> 00:11:51,365
...that judge's breath smelled
of free chocolate mints.
164
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:56,065
Let's face it, Al. Our only chance
is if we had a reliable witness.
165
00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:58,730
Oh, God. You wanna hear
something funny?
166
00:11:58,894 --> 00:12:00,962
This car phone
was lying by my house...
167
00:12:01,126 --> 00:12:04,630
...and a policeman came over and asked
me which car I thought it came from...
168
00:12:04,826 --> 00:12:07,262
...the Mercedes or the Dodge.
169
00:12:09,258 --> 00:12:12,094
He thought it could be yours.
170
00:12:12,824 --> 00:12:15,827
A shoe salesman with a car phone.
171
00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:20,127
What's that? A woman across town
needs a seven triple E?
172
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:23,025
I'm on my way.
173
00:12:28,155 --> 00:12:31,158
Who would've thought seeing
an accident like that would be so fun?
174
00:12:31,355 --> 00:12:32,890
- You saw it?
- Yeah.
175
00:12:33,054 --> 00:12:35,924
I saw it from the car while I was
saying good night to my date.
176
00:12:36,087 --> 00:12:39,891
Oh, Al. A non-Bundy as a witness.
They'll believe her.
177
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:43,723
But, Peg, do you think a judge
will believe that she had a date?
178
00:12:45,452 --> 00:12:48,288
Honey, we could actually be rich.
179
00:12:48,452 --> 00:12:50,654
All those years of pain
and suffering...
180
00:12:50,851 --> 00:12:54,822
...and the humiliation of having people
call me Mrs. Bundy to my face...
181
00:12:54,984 --> 00:12:56,218
...are finally through.
182
00:12:56,383 --> 00:13:01,488
Oh, kids, go to your sick beds,
for tomorrow, we sue.
183
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,851
Bundy!
184
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:21,115
Another accident case?
185
00:13:21,279 --> 00:13:24,782
Great. I just hope it's not
one of those frivolous lawsuits.
186
00:13:24,945 --> 00:13:29,183
Make way, make way.
A crippled family coming through.
187
00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:39,378
Rum.
188
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,578
The case of Bundy v. Fitzwilley.
189
00:13:49,775 --> 00:13:53,513
Dr. Fitzwilley is suing
the Bundys for a million dollars.
190
00:13:53,674 --> 00:13:56,077
The Bundys are countersuing...
191
00:13:56,441 --> 00:13:59,177
...for a jillion dollars.
192
00:14:02,573 --> 00:14:05,143
In cash, Your Honor.
193
00:14:06,006 --> 00:14:07,808
Mr. Bundy, before we begin...
194
00:14:08,006 --> 00:14:10,775
...could you tell me why your wife
is wearing a neck brace...
195
00:14:10,939 --> 00:14:13,142
...when she wasn't involved
in the accident?
196
00:14:13,305 --> 00:14:14,974
Oh, let me answer that, Your Honor.
197
00:14:15,139 --> 00:14:18,275
You see, it's sex whiplash.
198
00:14:18,805 --> 00:14:20,807
But it is accident related.
199
00:14:21,004 --> 00:14:24,407
You see, my husband got so excited
over this jillion dollars...
200
00:14:24,704 --> 00:14:28,774
...that he just lost control
of himself last night in bed.
201
00:14:30,504 --> 00:14:33,440
He kind of caught me off guard.
202
00:14:35,136 --> 00:14:37,138
He moved.
203
00:14:44,135 --> 00:14:46,203
Mr. Bundy, opening statement?
204
00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:48,504
Thank you, Your Honor.
205
00:14:48,934 --> 00:14:51,403
And may I add that it's nice
to see a woman in a robe...
206
00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:55,138
...who's not wearing fuzzy slippers
and a bag of Doritos in her lap.
207
00:14:58,434 --> 00:15:01,971
And now, on to the lawsuit.
208
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:06,737
While carrying canned goods
to their local church group...
209
00:15:07,233 --> 00:15:10,236
...my beloved children, Bud...
210
00:15:10,399 --> 00:15:12,201
...and the girl...
211
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:15,201
...had their futures maliciously
torn asunder...
212
00:15:15,365 --> 00:15:18,702
...by the merciless destruction
of an Aryan super car.
213
00:15:18,865 --> 00:15:23,002
Which, Your Honor, is the nightmare
of your unified Germany.
214
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,233
Thanks to my witness...
215
00:15:25,397 --> 00:15:28,968
...a professional banker
and brother woman...
216
00:15:29,131 --> 00:15:34,236
...we plan to prove that we deserve
a jillion dollars in cash...
217
00:15:34,397 --> 00:15:38,768
...and we humbly await your decision.
218
00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:42,867
So, Mrs. Rhoades, you say
you witnessed the accident?
219
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:45,632
- Yes, I did.
- And where were you?
220
00:15:45,797 --> 00:15:48,700
In my driveway. I was saying
good night to my date in his car.
221
00:15:49,096 --> 00:15:51,398
And could you describe
how you saw the accident?
222
00:15:51,829 --> 00:15:54,699
Well, we picked
our heads up, and we--
223
00:15:54,863 --> 00:15:56,865
Picked your heads up?
224
00:15:57,029 --> 00:15:59,098
Where were your heads
that you picked them up?
225
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:01,097
Well...
226
00:16:01,329 --> 00:16:02,430
...down.
227
00:16:04,362 --> 00:16:06,131
Hey, I know what you're thinking.
228
00:16:06,295 --> 00:16:09,165
But let me set you straight.
It was not our first date.
229
00:16:11,028 --> 00:16:13,965
I would like the record to show
that he bought me dinner first...
230
00:16:14,162 --> 00:16:16,231
...and he called me the next day.
231
00:16:17,062 --> 00:16:19,364
And who are you to judge me?
232
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:28,798
Do you know what it's like
out there in the dating world?
233
00:16:28,995 --> 00:16:31,598
Being smarter than the man
but being unable to show it?
234
00:16:31,761 --> 00:16:33,296
Where is the harm?
Where is the harm?
235
00:16:33,595 --> 00:16:36,898
So, Mrs. Rhoades, you didn't really
see who was at fault, did you?
236
00:16:37,761 --> 00:16:40,764
No, but the Mercedes had to be.
237
00:16:40,928 --> 00:16:42,697
My ex-husband drove a Mercedes.
238
00:16:44,162 --> 00:16:46,264
You may step down, Mrs. Rhoades.
239
00:16:46,428 --> 00:16:50,265
He left me like the parsley
on a plate at a truck-stop diner.
240
00:16:51,295 --> 00:16:53,598
He loved that damned car
more than he loved me.
241
00:16:53,761 --> 00:16:55,997
- Bailiff.
- They have to stop making those cars.
242
00:16:56,162 --> 00:16:58,064
Don't you see? They're evil.
243
00:16:58,229 --> 00:17:00,664
They tell the man,
"You don't need a wife.
244
00:17:00,828 --> 00:17:03,164
You're a cool guy.
Look at that teenager over there."
245
00:17:03,329 --> 00:17:06,732
It's not the men, it's the cars.
I'm warning you, America.
246
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:08,697
Keep your husbands
out of German cars.
247
00:17:08,863 --> 00:17:12,099
Ask me what Fahrvergnügen means!
248
00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:22,033
So, Ms. Bundy,
the accident cost you your sight?
249
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:31,199
Yes, I am blind like the mighty oak.
250
00:17:32,897 --> 00:17:36,400
Ms. Bundy,
how many fingers am I holding up?
251
00:17:36,697 --> 00:17:38,899
Oh, you're not gonna catch me
with that one.
252
00:17:39,097 --> 00:17:41,299
I'm blind.
253
00:17:42,698 --> 00:17:44,166
All right.
254
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:48,735
Would you please point out the man
who hit your car and blinded you?
255
00:17:48,898 --> 00:17:51,801
Sure. It is that guy right there
with the grey suit...
256
00:17:51,965 --> 00:17:54,601
...and the little Band-Aid on his head.
257
00:17:59,932 --> 00:18:01,968
You may step down.
258
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,635
Mr. Bundy.
259
00:18:10,801 --> 00:18:14,271
Please, just call me "Big B."
260
00:18:15,868 --> 00:18:17,836
No.
261
00:18:18,735 --> 00:18:21,271
Mr. Bundy, I bet you're a good driver.
262
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:25,104
Ninety-eight on the written test, babe.
263
00:18:25,935 --> 00:18:29,372
My boy's a winner, Peg.
Not like your girl.
264
00:18:30,303 --> 00:18:32,672
Brush your teeth, honey.
265
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,907
Now, you're a fine young man.
266
00:18:39,738 --> 00:18:44,176
Do you know what they do
to fine young men in the big house?
267
00:18:47,306 --> 00:18:50,076
That's right, Big B.
268
00:18:50,773 --> 00:18:53,409
And that's where you're headed
if you perjure yourself.
269
00:18:53,707 --> 00:18:56,676
So I ask you one time
and one time only:
270
00:18:57,307 --> 00:18:59,943
How did this accident occur?
271
00:19:00,242 --> 00:19:03,645
We were playing Eyesies-Closies,
my sister put her hands over my eyes...
272
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,979
...and I couldn't see, and I hit the gas,
and I heard a terrible crash.
273
00:19:07,144 --> 00:19:10,113
But the part about us being hurt
was the idea of that man!
274
00:19:18,045 --> 00:19:22,850
Come on, Al, you only owe $50,000.
275
00:19:23,013 --> 00:19:26,216
And you have
a whole month to pay it off.
276
00:19:26,381 --> 00:19:28,049
Now, show some gumption.
277
00:19:28,281 --> 00:19:30,750
You know what we say
back home in Wanker County.
278
00:19:30,915 --> 00:19:34,185
"Nothing spells loving
like marrying your cousin"?
279
00:19:37,151 --> 00:19:40,687
No. "When times are tough,
we pull together."
280
00:19:40,851 --> 00:19:44,088
So I'll tell you what. Bud and Kelly
and I are gonna go to the movies...
281
00:19:44,286 --> 00:19:48,223
...and leave you alone
to think in peace. Come on, kids.
282
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:51,089
Dad...
283
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:55,359
...I can't help but
feel somehow responsible for this.
284
00:19:58,789 --> 00:20:02,326
Son, come here and let me
choke you till you feel better.
285
00:20:03,892 --> 00:20:06,928
- You're not mad at me, are you, Daddy?
- No, pumpkin.
286
00:20:07,093 --> 00:20:09,862
How many fists am I holding up?
287
00:20:11,361 --> 00:20:14,864
Oh, don't worry, Al.
We'll all pitch in and help.
288
00:20:15,028 --> 00:20:17,030
Why, Bud can sell newspapers...
289
00:20:17,196 --> 00:20:21,433
...and Kelly can twirl
around till she gets dizzy...
290
00:20:21,797 --> 00:20:24,000
...and I can play
my accordion at parties.
291
00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:27,836
Then all you have to do is come up
with the rest of the 50,000.
292
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,603
You know, I really think this is gonna
bring our family much closer together.
293
00:20:31,801 --> 00:20:34,271
- Come on.
- Do I really have to sell newspapers?
294
00:20:34,435 --> 00:20:37,005
No, I was just saying that.
295
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:43,174
Fifty-thousand dollars.
296
00:20:43,373 --> 00:20:45,175
Thirty days.
297
00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:51,010
Well, you know what they say.
298
00:20:51,176 --> 00:20:53,444
"When the going gets tough...
299
00:20:54,443 --> 00:20:57,747
...the tough runs
like a thief in the night."
300
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,182
Goodbye, Al Bundy.
301
00:21:02,381 --> 00:21:05,951
Hello to the mysterious stranger
in a logging camp.
302
00:21:07,283 --> 00:21:09,018
See you on the other side, boy.
303
00:21:11,484 --> 00:21:14,120
A logging man needs a logging dog.
304
00:21:14,286 --> 00:21:17,222
Come on, boy. North to Alaska.
24483
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