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1
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:03,754
I love that they
tracked us down
for an audition.
2
00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:06,173
I know. This is how all of
Heather Graham's dates start.
3
00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:10,094
Julie, Billy, welcome.
This is Gennifer from
OpenTable.
4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,263
Oh, the website where people
make restaurant reservations?
5
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,181
Now they're doing
original content.
6
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:16,058
Gennifer is their
VP of Development
7
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:18,310
and brunch reservations
for parties over four.
8
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,646
Gennifer's first directive
is to copy things
9
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:21,939
that work on other networks.
10
00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:24,275
She talked my ear off
about it all morning.
11
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,693
Gennifer, you wanna explain?
Mm.
12
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,238
So they're doing
a New Year's Eve special
13
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,823
loosely inspired by CNN's
14
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,908
with Kathy Griffin
and Anderson Cooper.
15
00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:35,453
We know from your guys'
dinner reservation history
16
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,246
that neither of you
have New Year's Eve plans.
17
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:40,541
Not yet,
but 2018's gonna be different.
18
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,293
Yeah.
Sure.
19
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,921
Let's hear you guys be bubbly
and perky on various topics.
20
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:48,466
Go!
Oh! Okay, I think
21
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,593
that we as a nation
moved on way too quickly
22
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,887
after Michael Douglas claimed
that Catherine Zeta-Jones'
23
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,472
poor pussy gave him
throat cancer.
24
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,891
Yes, but I think
we spent exactly
the right amount of time
25
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,893
talking about how
Rebecca Gayheart,
26
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,686
Brandy and Caitlyn Jenner
all allegedly
27
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:03,564
killed people
with their cars.
Yes, think fun.
28
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,024
Think positive.
29
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,692
Positive, positive.
Fun and positive.
30
00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,360
Oh, HIV positive.
Yes.
31
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,279
Here's the thing
about women with AIDS.
32
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,530
We are good.
33
00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:13,199
Thank you for coming in.
34
00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,159
You didn't do
a very good job.
35
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,744
No, we didn't.
No, we really didn't.
36
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:20,164
Mm.
Can we order lunch?
37
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,624
Okay, Feud season three,
38
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:24,210
Michael Douglas versus
Catherine Zeta-Jones' pussy.
39
00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,087
Oh, I love it.
You know, you never
sound gayer
40
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,380
than when you say
the word pussy.
What? Pussy!
41
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,428
Loose change,
I'm home.
42
00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:38,099
Hey. How was Florida?
A swampy hellscape
43
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,017
out of a dystopic
crime novel.
44
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:41,852
Plus, it's either hot
or freezing.
45
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,479
Florida AC is nuts.
Mm, yeah.
46
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,022
I hate air conditioning
that goes
47
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,482
from 100 to 0 in a second.
48
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:47,900
It's like the temperature
equivalent of
49
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:49,485
a Hitachi Magic Wand.
50
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,445
You know, ease me into it.
Play with my nipples.
51
00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:55,199
Plus, it's given me this
constant low-grade cold.
52
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,201
Is the pizza on its way?
Pizza?
53
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,578
I hope so.
Credit sequence,
I asked you
54
00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:01,914
to order a pizza
when I landed at JFK.
55
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,749
No, you didn't.
Yes, I--
56
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:05,501
It's okay.
I don't wanna fight.
57
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,545
I'll order it.
It's just a stupid pizza.
58
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,797
Well, there's no reason
to say that about pizza.
59
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,675
Hey, guys. Greg peed,
60
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,510
Jellybeans fell asleep
while she was pooping.
61
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,137
Atta girl!
62
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,639
I did it, Mother!
I'm a multitasker.
63
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:19,932
See you next time.
64
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:21,851
High five.
65
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:23,978
All right.
66
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,187
Bye, Dave.
67
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,399
That new dog walker
is shady.
68
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,984
He is not. You're just
not used to guys
69
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,944
who know what
March Madness is.
70
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,405
Besides, it doesn't matter.
You're barely even here to--
71
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,617
Forget it.
I don't wanna fight.
72
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:40,661
I don't wanna fight, either.
73
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,121
You wanna have sex?
74
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:46,250
Sure. Pizza's on its way.
We have 30 minutes or less.
75
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,543
Grab the Hitachi Magic Wand.
76
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,503
We can fit in an episode
of Larry Sanders.
77
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,338
What are you doing
Thursday night?
78
00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:52,673
Trying to
figure out if that movie
79
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,466
"The Founder"
really happened.
80
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,343
Oh, let me save you
the trouble. It did not.
81
00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:59,054
So now you're free to come
with me to a work thing.
82
00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,181
I don't know if I've ever
really gone with
83
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:02,474
a guy to his
work thing before.
84
00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:04,018
Unless you count Rentboy,
85
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,645
in which case his work
was really our thing.
86
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,564
Look, you don't wanna
take me anywhere
87
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,399
where I'm gonna have to
talk to a person
88
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:12,985
who isn't you, Julie,
or Andie MacDowell's Twitter.
89
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:16,197
Just do what any
self-respecting gay
in Hollywood would do:
90
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,949
bring Kelly Preston
and a confusing hair system.
91
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,078
Hey, guys,
92
00:03:23,162 --> 00:03:26,832
Denise and I are going
to a parenting retreat
in Scarsdale
93
00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:28,959
so our baby grows up
knowing nothing practical
94
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,003
but is pressured to succeed.
95
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:35,132
So while we're gone,
the manager will be...
96
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:36,634
Matthew.
Oh!
97
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,761
No. Are you
fucking kidding me?
98
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:41,055
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, um, thank you so much!
99
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,390
Nate, I will not
let you down.
100
00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:46,435
In fact, recently
while recovering from
101
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,187
a Fire-Island
related fissure,
102
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,105
I saw an episode of
Undercover Boss.
103
00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:52,024
Which I assumed was
about bossy bottoms,
104
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,484
so I watched it for research.
105
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,819
You guys know
I'm a top, right?
106
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,529
Oh, yeah. And I'm bi.
107
00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:58,864
You fuckin' idiot.
108
00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:00,157
I'm a top.
109
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,368
Don't dress up
as a new employee
110
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,453
and try to make
the business better.
111
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,996
Okay, sure, Nate.
112
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:07,831
I won't do that.
113
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:08,999
I'm serious.
114
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,002
I won't do that
at all, Nate.
115
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,421
Marilyn,
as a first-time author,
116
00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:17,007
you might find it hard getting
notes on your manuscript.
117
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:20,177
Well, I didn't get to be
where I am because
I have a fragile ego.
118
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,721
Okay. I was wondering
119
00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:25,641
if we could swap
chapters two and three.
120
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,142
Great idea, Dr. Mengele.
121
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,937
Especially if you don't
want the book to
make any fucking sense.
122
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,314
We're gonna keep the chapters
just the way they are.
123
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,901
Wait, why do you have
Joy of Sex?
124
00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:38,529
It's a reissue.
It turns out people are
nostalgic for bush--
125
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,073
both the administration
and beaver fur.
126
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,533
This look familiar?
127
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:46,829
Vaguely, but I haven't
had sex since
my fling with Bob Durst.
128
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,498
Not to brag,
but he said anyone
who sucks dick that well
129
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,625
deserves to die
of natural causes.
130
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:54,628
Well, see this happy
cunnilingus recipient?
131
00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:56,714
She'd be me.
132
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,008
Bullshit!
133
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,010
I bet you the most bohemian
thing you've ever done
134
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:03,637
is have a second spritzer
at a Debby Boone concert.
135
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:06,265
Well, joke's on you.
Jews hate Debby Boone.
136
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,558
It was Phoebe Snow.
137
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,935
Look closer.
Look closer!
138
00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:12,146
Ahh. Ah!
139
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,857
Oh, my God.
That is you.
140
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:19,278
What did you decide to do
about Todd's work thing?
141
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:20,904
Oh, I don't know.
142
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,614
I mean, I wanna go.
I just--
143
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,491
I don't know what
I'm gonna say to these people.
144
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:27,036
They're advertisers.
Just go in and be funny.
145
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:29,538
They'll eat it up
like Ben Affleck
at a nanny convention.
146
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,415
Be glad he doesn't
work for PBS.
147
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,751
Last year's Christmas party
was a tap water social.
148
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,044
You're right.
I'm gonna go.
Good.
149
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,670
I'm gonna do it.
So what's happening?
150
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,589
How's Arthur?
Well, when he's home,
151
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,632
we wanna have sex,
but the sex we're having
152
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:41,967
is get it out of
the way sex.
153
00:05:42,051 --> 00:05:44,178
And I'd say
something about it,
but I don't wanna fight.
154
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,013
'Cause that's the last thing
we need.
155
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,598
Well, I'd argue that the last
thing we need
156
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,683
is another peep out of
the Duplass brothers.
157
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:53,145
Oh, well, hello.
I'm Marionette.
158
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,981
I am the new employee here.
159
00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:59,777
Oh, who will help me
learn the ways...
160
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,821
of this integrated
luncheonette?
161
00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:05,532
Is he "Undercover Bossing"?
Yes, thank God.
162
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,785
Because that means I can
get out of work. Watch this.
163
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,995
Uh, hey, Marionette?
Mm?
164
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,706
I'm so sorry, dear,
Denise said that
165
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,208
you have to cover my shift.
166
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:17,127
Sure thing, doll.
167
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,963
Um, who's Denise?
168
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,091
Let's go see
the new Wes Anderson movie.
169
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:23,759
Oh, yes.
I heard that a tumbleweed
170
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,594
just blows past a frame
full of Lego people
171
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,554
in a shoebox
for three hours.
172
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,724
Did they clean your ears
at the groomers, Jellybeans?
173
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,267
Yes, they did, Mother.
174
00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,061
But I think they were plenty
velvety when I came in.
175
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,896
Oh, no, no way, what?
No, no, it is them!
176
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,564
Back off, Brock Turners!
177
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,067
No, we just wanted a photo
of Football and Touchdown.
178
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,069
What the fuck
are you talking about?
179
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,987
Your dogs.
Football and Touchdown.
180
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,281
Dude, they're like
the two coolest
181
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:48,867
Instagram dog celebrities
in the sports world.
182
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:50,702
No, they're not.
I hate sports.
183
00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:52,621
No, check it.
184
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,748
Oh, my God.
Those are my dogs.
185
00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:57,126
Right? That's sick, dude.
Up top!
186
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,461
What the fuck was that?
187
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,839
That piece of shit
dog walker.
188
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:05,884
He must've rebranded my pets
without my consent!
189
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,470
Consent? There's that
word again, dude.
190
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,597
Like, why do chicks
keep using that?
191
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,850
Hey, relax.
They're gonna love you.
192
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,686
I know. I'm fine.
I feel confident
193
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,605
and I am in no way
uncomfortable.
Nice.
194
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,613
Welcome to Boobies.
195
00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:29,283
I am in every way
uncomfortable.
196
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:33,162
Football and Touchdown?
Are you fucking kidding me?
197
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,872
I spent my whole life
avoiding sports.
198
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,665
Now look at me.
I'm sleeping with the enemy.
199
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,041
What are these?
200
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,751
Oh, that's--that's just--
201
00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:41,670
ah, we're doing a 38-part
"Nova"
202
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,797
on the effects
of planetary alignment
203
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:46,550
on human sexuality.
Oh, well, kudos to PBS
204
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,844
for making sex boring.
205
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,013
"How to Spice Up
a Long Distance Relationship."
206
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,973
Arthur, is this
really for PBS?
207
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,766
There's a suggestion
about role play in there
208
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:57,519
that seems interesting.
Ugh! Role play? Gross.
209
00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:58,896
That's just improv naked.
210
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,647
Like on Modern Family,
when Julie Bowen
211
00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,441
pretends to be someone
slightly less boring
212
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,026
for Valentine's Day.
I just wanna do
213
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,195
something special
before I leave on Wednesday.
214
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,113
You told me you were
leaving on Thursday.
215
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,574
I canceled plans
for Wednesday night.
216
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,075
Forget it.
I don't wanna fight.
217
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,453
I don't wanna
fight either.
218
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:15,913
Excuse me.
What do you think
219
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,207
of that new dog walker,
Jellybeans?
220
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,666
I don't care for him.
221
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,711
Mommy and Daddy would
never make we wear
such vulgar uniforms.
222
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:26,715
Pageview,
what do you want for dinner?
223
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:27,966
You know, with that cold,
224
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,593
you sound like
Bernie Sanders.
225
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,178
Well, your Jellybeans voice
226
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,555
sounds like Blythe Danner.
Blythe Danner?
227
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,682
I was hoping it was
a bit more Kate Hepburn.
228
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,476
No, it's Blythe! Believe me.
229
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,103
Say, Bernie,
what's it like to be Jewish?
230
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,855
It's a hoot!
231
00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:44,525
What's it like to be
not always out of breath,
232
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,735
you randy shiksa minx?
233
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:50,322
I'll tell you later, you
slovenly Semitic fire plug.
234
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:51,657
Mm!
235
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,327
I thought this would be
at a classier location.
236
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,745
Why are all these waitresses
walking around
237
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,288
with their tits out
like Helen Mirren?
238
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,290
Well, Karen's the one
retiring
239
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,417
and Boobies is
her favorite restaurant.
240
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,711
She's a little young
to be retiring, no?
241
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,713
Oh, no. It's not her choice.
She turned 40.
242
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:09,633
That's the mandatory
retirement age for
women in advertising.
243
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,010
Hey, Todd!
Hey!
244
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,804
Hey, what's up, bro?
Bruce, hey.
245
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,098
Sam! You lost weight!
Oh, no, Bruce.
246
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,100
This is Billy.
Who's Sam?
247
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,352
Nobody. My ex.
248
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,522
That douche Sam ruined
our office Christmas party.
249
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,816
Good thing Karen took off
her top and we all
had a good laugh
250
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:26,984
at her ancient melons.
251
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,696
You know, I'm new
to the Boobies
culinary experience.
252
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,323
Perhaps there's a sommelier
that I can motorboat.
253
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,617
Uhh--
254
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,244
Oh, I was joking.
255
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,620
Weird joke.
256
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,207
Hi, I'm David's wife.
257
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:45,252
Oh, hi.
You must be
Todd's boyfriend.
258
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:48,839
Let's leave the boys alone
and I'll introduce you
to the other wives.
259
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,174
Wait--okay.
260
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,678
This is Lance's wife.
This is Keith's wife.
261
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,639
Andrew's wife
and Adam's boyfriend.
262
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,308
Lyle, right? We met.
263
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,393
Adam's boyfriend's fine.
264
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,735
All right, well.
It was great to meet you guys.
265
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,987
It's probably better
you stay here with us.
266
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,781
You don't wanna
Sam this up.
267
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,199
What happened with Sam?
268
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,868
He didn't really
know his place.
269
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,662
We're the wives.
Let them be the stars.
270
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,164
Yeah, he kept telling
jokes all the time.
271
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,000
It's like, cool it,
Paul Reiser.
272
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,045
So, Billy, what do you do?
273
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,171
Actually, I'm a co--
274
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:31,590
Um--
275
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,552
You know what?
You can just call me
Todd's boyfriend.
276
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,929
Aww.
Yay!
277
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:40,641
They sat you at
the wifey table?
278
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,476
Yeah, and now
I'm feeling pressure
279
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,728
to be as supportive to Todd
as they are of their spouses.
280
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,271
Because that's all
they talk about.
281
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,814
And I don't know what
Todd's ex-boyfriend did,
282
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:50,067
but whatever he did,
he really blew it
at those parties.
283
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,653
Well, can't you just
pretend to be supportive
so you get what you want?
284
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:55,405
I'm not Blythe Danner,
but she had the sex
of her life last night
285
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,948
with Bernie Sanders.
That's the thing.
286
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,867
You're getting fucked.
I'm just standing there,
287
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,452
laughing at non-jokes.
288
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,205
I've been miscast.
It's a trend!
289
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:06,875
My adorably faggy dogs have
been miscast as sports fans.
290
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,669
How many Instagram followers
do they have now?
291
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:12,381
Last time I checked,
something like 60,000.
Wow.
292
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,549
What kind of world
is this that we live in
where my dogs
293
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,802
have more Instagram followers
than I'll ever have?
294
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,721
These Internet celebrity
animals, that's a gold mine.
295
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:20,806
Why don't you Google,
296
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,141
"Grumpy Cat owner
annual income"?
My God.
297
00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:24,935
Holy shit, Billy.
You're right.
298
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,063
Where does someone
that rich even live?
299
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,357
Where does Oprah live?
Montecito?
300
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,360
Oh, Billy. Oprah doesn't
live in Montecito.
301
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,112
She lives on...
302
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:40,158
Easy street
303
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:44,121
Easy street
304
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,791
Where the rich folks play
305
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:51,461
Yeah, yeah, yeah
306
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,297
Move them feet
307
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:58,301
To easy street
308
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:03,390
That's where we're gonna
309
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,309
Be
310
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,359
Surprise.
311
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,487
I brought you a hot wing
chicken casserole.
312
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:20,532
Oh! W-why?
313
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:22,409
Just 'cause.
Hey, while I'm here,
314
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,287
how do I get two
Internet famous dogs to
be in a TV commercial?
315
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,289
Julie is-- and I don't
mean this sexually--
316
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,208
I think she's sitting
on the next Grumpy Cat.
317
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,544
Holy shit, it's Touchdown
and Football.
318
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,337
Those dogs are
fuckin' hysterical.
319
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,922
Your wife said
you knew funny.
320
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,175
Bruce, do we have
any campaigns
they'd be good for?
321
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,427
How about fuckin' all of them?
322
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,137
If you can make them
more than Internet famous,
323
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,347
you can make enough money
where you can retire at--
324
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,183
how old are you? 56?
325
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,978
Get them on TV.
I'll take it from there.
326
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:53,523
Wow. If any Internet
celebrity could get
a TV show that easily,
327
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,484
Miranda Sings would have
her own series on Netflix.
328
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,277
Mm.
But she does.
329
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,072
I'm so sorry.
I'm so stupid.
330
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,783
I should leave the comedy
to you guys.
331
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,326
Bye!
Bye.
332
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,204
Bruce, don't touch that.
333
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,707
Hey, Mom, does Dad
still do taxes for ESPN?
334
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,584
I know these two up-and-comers
in the sports world
335
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,336
and I really need
a connection.
336
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,922
Are you reading
The Joy of Sex?
337
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:18,965
Did you know this is me?
338
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,801
Oh, my God!
339
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,260
Mom, what the hell?!
340
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:25,514
Oh, your mother was
a different woman in the '70s.
341
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,975
This was pre-AIDS
and post-I Dream of Jeannie.
342
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:30,685
Okay, you know what?
Just have Dad call me.
343
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,729
I just miss
the free spirit I was
344
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:35,607
before your birth stopped it
dead in its tracks.
345
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,275
Are you contemplating
an affair?
346
00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:38,777
I told you,
Michael Bublé is married.
347
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:43,114
No, I just wanna feel
like who I was
isn't gone forever.
348
00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:44,741
Well, good luck, Mom.
349
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,827
I'm sure you'll
track that person down.
350
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,203
You mean Dusty.
351
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,872
That's him I'm making love to
in these illustrations.
352
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:52,666
I wonder where he is.
353
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:56,294
And if you're wondering
how I got that into here,
354
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,463
short answer: trapeze class.
355
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:01,883
Oh, my God!
Why did I turn around?!
356
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,679
So my dad heard back
from ESPN.
357
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,764
They have this show
that's about sports
358
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:10,600
that's on after the sports
where people
talk about sports.
359
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:13,937
I don't know. It sounds like
Watch What Happens Live
for straight people.
360
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,814
I just don't wanna pull
a Dennis Miller.
361
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,566
That could mean
so many bad things.
362
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,359
If we're gonna go on TV
and talk about sports,
363
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,902
we need to know
what we're talking about.
364
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:22,070
Let's start studying.
365
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,281
All right, you dogs,
366
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,825
sit up straight like
you're excited to be on TV.
367
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:30,036
Are we gonna do anything
besides this for
my last night in town?
368
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,538
Gee, I don't know, Bernie.
369
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,582
We could do what I planned
to do Wednesday night
370
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,750
but canceled because I thought
you'd still be in town.
371
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,419
What plans
are those, Blythe?
372
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,129
Complaining to the dogs
in the bathroom
373
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,131
or complaining to the dogs
in the kitchen?
374
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,799
Speaking of the dogs,
375
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,594
I can't help but notice
how unsympathetic you've been
376
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,095
around this whole
Instagram debacle.
377
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,555
It's too bad nobody said,
378
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:51,182
"I got a bad feeling
about that dog walker."
379
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,642
Oh, right, I did.
380
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,895
It's all coming out now,
Bernie,
381
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:58,106
you Ben & Jerry's guzzling
piece of shit!
382
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:01,401
Where's your fucking podium,
Bern, to save you now?
383
00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:03,653
Do you realize
384
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,072
how much harder
my job is in Florida?
385
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,616
Judy Woodruff
keeps skipping work
386
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,910
to ride Space Mountain!
I'm sick of you
387
00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:12,913
taking care of everybody
in the world but me.
388
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,457
Oh, Arthur.
389
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,876
This is so stupid.
390
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:22,839
Role playing for arguing
is fucking idiotic.
391
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,008
Okay, let's retire
Bernie and Blythe.
392
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,845
I'm sorry that my travel
schedule has made sex
393
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,556
just another item
to check off my to-do list
394
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,266
like buy more cream cheese.
395
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,393
Where does that go,
by the way?
396
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:36,645
You use that as a lotion?
397
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,521
No, I just eat a lot of it.
398
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,231
Let's go back
to the way things were?
399
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,400
Yeah, I like that idea.
400
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,860
When we fuck, we fuck.
401
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,570
And when we fight,
402
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:47,697
we fight about
you fucking up.
403
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,826
What the hell?
404
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:54,204
Oh, hello, young man.
405
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,081
How many are in your party?
406
00:15:56,164 --> 00:16:00,085
Matthew, what did I tell you
about "Undercover Bossing"?
407
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,253
But who is Matthew?
408
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,797
I am Marionette.
409
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,340
Where's Lola?
Where's Billy?
410
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,842
Oh, they gave themselves
the night off,
411
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:11,012
and I fell a little behind,
as you can see.
412
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:14,432
You must understand,
my mother died
from a sandwich
413
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,935
before she could teach me
how to clean.
414
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,270
And here is more
of my back story:
415
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:22,649
you see, I have
a teeny, tiny tear
in my clitoral hood--
416
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,609
Matthew!
From horseback riding
417
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:27,112
in England,
where I'm from.
418
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:30,198
So why the Southern
accent, you ask?
419
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,450
From now on, we're just
gonna close the cafe
420
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,035
instead of leaving you
in charge.
421
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:37,163
All right.
Um, by the way,
422
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:41,042
there is $1,000 missing
from the cash register.
423
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:42,544
Toodley-doo!
424
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,130
Can't believe Karen
killed herself.
425
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,340
Only one day
into retirement.
426
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,259
"Happy Funeral, Karen."
427
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,594
Well, I wonder who thought
of that snappy copy.
428
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,555
My husband.
429
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,974
I don't wanna brag,
but have you all seen
430
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,892
his new Lean Cuisine spots
where the single woman
431
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,394
makes a noose
out of linguini?
432
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,021
Well, have you seen
433
00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:02,564
my husband's commercial
for lady razors
434
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:05,358
where the woman's
a gorilla and she gets
shot like Harambe?
435
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,819
Well, my husband's
cock is huge.
436
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:11,990
So how about you guys?
Any of you have jobs
437
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,950
or interests or something?
438
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:16,578
There's only room for one
personality in a relationship.
439
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,288
You know it's working
when you vanish.
440
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,081
It's like my husband's
spot for Yoplait
441
00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,792
where the woman gets so thin
that she disappears
442
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:26,087
and the man says,
"Now that's a wife
I don't wanna punch."
443
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,132
I can't fucking do this.
444
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,259
Excuse me.
Todd...
445
00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:35,138
if I have to spend
one more second
at the fucking wifey table,
446
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,347
I'm gonna lose my mind.
447
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:37,891
It's like gay Get Out.
448
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,477
And by the way, everyone--
is everyone listening?
449
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,480
Boobies was not Karen's
favorite restaurant!
450
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,612
Well, another fucking party
ruined by Sam.
451
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:55,283
Billy! Hey, Billy!
452
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,327
Wait. What the hell
happened back there?
453
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,914
Look, work things
and being the quiet,
supportive boyfriend,
454
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,540
that is not me, okay?
455
00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:05,043
I'm Billy Epstein,
I am not Billy-Yi Previn.
456
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:07,837
Whoever asked you
to be the quiet,
supportive boyfriend?
457
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,006
Well, that's why you
broke up with Sam, right?
458
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,925
Because he wasn't that.
I broke up with Sam
459
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,843
because he took a shit
in my boss' office.
460
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:15,595
Don't fucking overthink this.
461
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,639
I brought you because
you're the first boyfriend
462
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,766
I'm actually excited
about showing off.
463
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,227
Well, that's not true,
because you brought Sam.
464
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,897
No, Sam showed up.
He crashed an office party.
465
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,524
Wait, is that why
you showed up at my office
466
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,859
with half-frozen
chicken wings?
467
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,570
Bob from Accounting's
still on the fucking toilet
from eating those.
468
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,030
Well, that's not my fault
469
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,783
because they don't tell you
how long to keep them
in the microwave
470
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,327
because they just assume
that you're gonna put
them in the oven.
471
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:45,333
Um, I don't want you
to be anybody
472
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,418
but your asshole self.
473
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,963
I like you
for the asshole you are.
474
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:53,758
I'm telling you, though.
If I ever have to sit
with the wifeys again,
475
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:56,136
I'm gonna take a shit
in your office.
476
00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:57,512
Fair.
477
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,481
Ugh.
What?
478
00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:11,734
I can't believe
I wasted this suit on Karen.
479
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:16,948
Dusty?
480
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:19,701
Marigold.
Oh!
481
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:23,997
Wow, wow, wow, wow!
Hi.
482
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,332
I'm so glad
you tracked me down.
483
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,501
Oh, well, thank you
for meeting me.
484
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,879
Well, thank you for leaving
your number
485
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,173
at the juice bar where
I get my mail.
486
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,133
Oh, well, of course.
Why don't you have a phone?
487
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,551
Ah, freedom, Marigold.
488
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,095
I'm a bird,
constantly taking wing.
489
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,139
I mean, there's no need
for a landline
490
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,683
if you never really land.
Oh.
491
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,603
Do you mind if I--sort of--
492
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,396
vibe over here?
493
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,732
Oh, well, actually, I--I--
494
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:52,442
I--I--I, um--
495
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,236
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
496
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,447
Are you kidding?
Does that ring
any bells, huh?
497
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,575
Just an internal siren.
Oh.
498
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:03,703
Do you remember when
both your legs fell asleep
499
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,872
when we were in the entangled
hammock position?
500
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,457
Oh, my God, the tangled ham--
501
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,459
What was that illustrator
even doing?
502
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,586
I--you know,
sharpening his pencils?
503
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:12,879
You know, I mean, obviously,
504
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,547
he didn't have to
hold the position
505
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,424
for an hour and a half,
right?
506
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,259
Oh...
You know?
507
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,136
Dusty, can I ask you
a question?
508
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,431
Patchouli and mold.
You get used to it.
509
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:26,476
Do you ever miss
our wild, crazy youth?
510
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,312
No, I don't, man.
I'm unburdened, Marigold.
511
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,481
You know? Always have been,
always will be.
512
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,107
Oh.
You know? Yeah.
513
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,526
You are so lucky.
I have a family.
514
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,237
Mm-hmm.
I have a practice.
515
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,988
Practice. Ooh.
I've got a mortgage.
516
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,073
Does that mean
you have a house?
517
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,157
Yes.
What--with a roof?
518
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:44,327
Well, of course.
Holy--Can I crash
with you if it snows?
519
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,120
What? No!
520
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:48,539
I understand.
521
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,459
Then if it snows...
522
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,962
could you buy me
a bottle of chocolate syrup
523
00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:55,588
to pour on the snow
for my breakfast?
524
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:57,257
Get a job!
525
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,925
Oh, my God. I can't believe
526
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:02,470
that our first ever talk show
appearance is on ESPN
527
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,764
and that the project
we're plugging is my dogs.
528
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,312
That's a lot of soda.
I know.
529
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:14,023
I get nervous.
This helps, for some reason.
530
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:15,608
Oh, my God.
Excuse me.
531
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,318
I know--
Very relatable.
532
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:20,196
Hey, hey!
Football! Touchdown!
Oh, hey!
533
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,906
Yeah, winning! Right? Yeah.
534
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,199
Uh, what do they say in
football?
535
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:24,492
Oh, tailgate. Tailgate!
536
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:27,203
Yeah.
Yep, dice,
nothing but Netflix.
537
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,122
Oh, my God.
Excuse me.
538
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:30,456
I've had a lot of soda.
539
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,000
Uh, can I just run
to the ladies room,
real quick?
540
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,377
Oh, absolutely.
Right this way, Billy.
541
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,462
Okay, let's go, guys.
Football and Touchdown.
542
00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:38,506
Football, Touchdown.
Football and Touchdown!
543
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,008
Get on up!
Let's go, Football
544
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:41,217
and Touchdown.
Come on, let's go!
545
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:44,137
Look, Football and Touchdown,
they are raring to go.
546
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:46,681
So, you big sports fans?
Oh, my God.
547
00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,308
Huge. Me and Julie, both.
548
00:21:48,391 --> 00:21:50,810
You know, some people
know things about
movies and TV
549
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:53,521
like who won
the Best Supporting
Actress Oscar this year.
550
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,648
Not us. It's all sports,
all the time.
551
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:58,985
Who did win?
Oh, Michelle Williams.
552
00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,821
It's Viola Davis. Wasn't it?
Yes, it was. Yes.
553
00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:03,573
Okay, they need to get
a mic level.
554
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,616
Billy, can you count?
Oh, sure, yeah.
555
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:09,078
Ten, nine, eight--
Of course
I hate sports.
556
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:11,456
I hate them all.
We both do.
557
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:14,000
Oh, those stupid hosts--
Rape Rapely
558
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:15,668
and She Was
Asking For It Jones.
559
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:19,088
God, I wish I could
kill them all.
560
00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:21,799
Oh, and the burping.
561
00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:25,261
Is that your friend
who just accused us both
562
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,347
of sexual assault
on a hot mic?
563
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:29,807
Yeah. She just jinxed,
564
00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:32,226
and I'm not talking about
the 1982 Bette Midler film.
565
00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:33,644
It wasn't Bette's finest hour,
566
00:22:33,728 --> 00:22:36,481
but she didn't get
the offer she expected to
after The Rose.
567
00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:38,149
Get the fuck out of here.
568
00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:40,651
Fine. Let's go, dogs.
Let's go.
569
00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:43,154
I don't remember your names.
Let's go.
570
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,448
Fuck those dogs.
571
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:49,285
So, hey, how's your cousin
Karen doing since she retired?
572
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:51,704
Oh, you didn't hear?
She committed suicide.
573
00:22:53,206 --> 00:22:54,957
Hey, what are you doing
back here--
574
00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:57,085
Oh, no.
575
00:22:57,168 --> 00:22:59,045
They heard me, didn't they?
576
00:22:59,128 --> 00:23:01,297
They sure did.
577
00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:03,508
Well, good thing I only peed.
578
00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:05,593
Hey, are you hungry?
579
00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:07,887
You wanna do
wings at Boobies?
I can do Boobies.
580
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,180
- Let's do Boobies!
- Wow!
581
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:11,974
Thought it'd be easy
582
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:14,977
Thought they didn't know
583
00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:18,940
You thought it was
the only way to go
584
00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:22,443
Another way out
585
00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:25,154
Found on the way home
586
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,031
Thought you were
living fast
587
00:23:27,115 --> 00:23:29,826
But you were living slow
588
00:23:44,549 --> 00:23:45,967
La la la.
589
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:47,468
Oh, my God!
44634
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