Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,730 --> 00:00:02,710
Just the man
I was looking for.
2
00:00:02,810 --> 00:00:03,870
You went to
catholic school, right?
3
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:05,710
St. Mary's.
12 horrible years.
4
00:00:05,810 --> 00:00:08,350
I still have limited use
of my knuckles.
5
00:00:08,450 --> 00:00:09,670
Remember
a Sister Margaret?
6
00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:10,790
Oh, she was the ringleader.
7
00:00:10,890 --> 00:00:13,000
Scary, awful,
monster of a woman.
8
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,440
Well, she speaks
highly of you too, Paul.
9
00:00:15,540 --> 00:00:17,400
She's coming by here
later this afternoon.
10
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:19,160
She's having problems
with the neighborhood
around her school.
11
00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:21,880
So I told her you would
sit down and talk
to her about them.
12
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,760
Never.
Not in a million years.
13
00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:25,650
Correct answer was,
"Yes, I'd love to,
14
00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:27,850
"and good morning,
sister."
15
00:00:27,950 --> 00:00:29,370
Good morning, sister?
16
00:00:29,470 --> 00:00:30,810
Hello, Paul.
17
00:00:30,910 --> 00:00:32,910
(WHIMPERS)
18
00:00:34,030 --> 00:00:36,450
Morning. What could I do
for you, Sister Margaret?
19
00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:37,890
Well, you could start
by telling me
20
00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:40,140
why I never see you
at church anymore.
21
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,240
I... I joined
a different parish.
22
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,580
And who's your priest?
23
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,680
Father O'... Connor?
24
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,460
O'Leary?
25
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,570
O'Cohen?
26
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:53,970
Oh, my.
27
00:00:54,450 --> 00:00:55,430
You're lying.
28
00:00:55,530 --> 00:00:56,910
Oh, God.
29
00:00:57,010 --> 00:00:59,110
Now you've taken
the Lord's name in vain.
30
00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:00,230
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
31
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:01,830
Oh, God!
I did it again.
32
00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:04,200
Oh, God...
Oh! I can't stop.
33
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:06,300
Oh, ga-ga-ga-God...
34
00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:09,520
Sister,
I'll take care
of this for you.
35
00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:11,320
Ow...
36
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:13,420
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
37
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:26,250
Okay. Hopefully,
it's not too transparent
38
00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:27,650
an attempt
to attract voters.
39
00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:28,900
We got the go-ahead
on that free concert
40
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,260
at Madison
Square Garden.
41
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:31,940
The rumors are true.
That Maxwell, Travis,
and Johns
42
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,860
are going to reunite
for one night only.
43
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,220
Didn't they play
at Woodstock?
44
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:38,020
So what? They've
gotta be, like,
90-years-old.
45
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,310
Why don't we just
reunite The Andrews Sisters?
46
00:01:41,410 --> 00:01:43,450
Hey, back off, man!
M.T.J. rocks.
47
00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:47,830
When I was 15,
my mom drove me
48
00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:49,230
to the concert
in Madison.
49
00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:53,040
You went to the concert,
the band rocked,
50
00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:55,720
you bought
a $65 T-shirt,
51
00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:56,960
and you screamed
like an idiot
52
00:01:57,060 --> 00:01:59,060
when the band said,
"Hello, Wisconsin!"
53
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,500
Were you there?
54
00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:05,750
Okay, then.
Meeting is adjourned.
55
00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:08,790
I say, meeting
is adjourned.
56
00:02:09,870 --> 00:02:11,250
What?
57
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:13,170
We wanna know if you're
going to break up with Carrie.
58
00:02:13,270 --> 00:02:15,050
When did it become
office policy
59
00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:17,050
to review
my personal life
at the morning meeting?
60
00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:18,980
You started it, Mike.
When you became single,
61
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:23,100
all you wanted to do
was talk and talk and talk.
62
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,300
It was kind of like
a soap opera.
63
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,480
First, it was really,
really irritating...
64
00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:32,430
but you listen
to enough of it
65
00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:34,530
and all of a sudden,
boom! You're hooked.
66
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,950
So, today on
67
00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:40,050
"Deputy mayor
in heat..."
68
00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:44,080
All right.
69
00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:46,320
I like Carrie a lot,
70
00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,360
but she walks
that fine line
71
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,580
between
incredibly intense
72
00:02:51,260 --> 00:02:53,880
and borderline loopy.
73
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:56,250
So I'm afraid tonight
I'm gonna have to break up
with her.
74
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,450
Hold on a second.
Paul couldn't be here.
75
00:02:58,550 --> 00:03:00,550
He asked me
to tape it.
76
00:03:04,470 --> 00:03:06,090
Okay. One last item.
77
00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,940
I'm having
a secret meeting
78
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,380
tomorrow morning
79
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,220
without Paul.
80
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,980
I'd like you all
to show up
81
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,080
around 5:00 a.m.
82
00:03:22,250 --> 00:03:24,250
4:30 is better
for me, Mike.
83
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:32,880
That's you and me
at the duck pond.
84
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,120
Don't we look happy?
85
00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:36,680
Oh, yeah. Very, uh...
86
00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:38,600
Very happy, happy.
87
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,760
Happy us.
88
00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:42,240
What's going on
with you, Mike?
89
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:43,880
You're all nervous.
90
00:03:43,980 --> 00:03:45,170
Oh, no.
91
00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:46,730
Boo!
Oh! Gosh.
92
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:48,770
See? Come on,
lighten up.
93
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:50,410
I can hear
your heart beating.
94
00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:52,130
I think it had stopped.
95
00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:54,610
(GIGGLING)
96
00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:57,250
Okay. What did you
want to say?
97
00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:59,980
Okay. All right.
Here it goes.
98
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,820
Carrie, I just,
I feel very strong...
99
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,180
Can we move that?
100
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,280
'Cause the glare
is really killing me.
101
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,490
There, there.
All better.
102
00:04:12,290 --> 00:04:14,070
Okay. You were saying?
103
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,390
Here it goes.
104
00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:17,850
I think that...
Okay, now it's just
staring at me.
105
00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:20,630
Okay. Fine.
106
00:04:20,730 --> 00:04:22,640
You're having trouble
with conversation starters.
107
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:23,800
I've got one!
108
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,480
I'm ready to have children
109
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:27,620
and I think you'd make
a great father.
110
00:04:30,740 --> 00:04:33,320
Questions? Comments?
111
00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:35,470
I've only known you
for three weeks.
112
00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:37,170
I mean, I...
113
00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:39,450
Normally, I don't
discuss fatherhood
114
00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:41,550
or kids until...
115
00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:44,810
Never.
116
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:48,260
I am too old to go down
a very long road with someone
117
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,180
unless I am sure
they're going
to the same place.
118
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,280
What if we're not?
119
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,540
Well, then I guess
120
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,760
I'd have to break up
with you.
121
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,170
Get outta town.
122
00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:08,710
Are you...
Are you serious?
123
00:05:08,810 --> 00:05:10,810
I am totally serious.
124
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:16,160
Wow.
125
00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:18,260
Well, then I...
126
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,760
I guess...
127
00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:22,860
I guess it's over.
128
00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:25,870
I can't believe
you did this to me.
129
00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:29,290
Oh, Mike.
Maybe we should
think about it.
130
00:05:29,390 --> 00:05:31,650
No, no, no, no...
No, no.
131
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:34,210
No, no, no.
That wouldn't be
fair to you,
132
00:05:34,310 --> 00:05:36,090
dragging it out
like that.
133
00:05:36,190 --> 00:05:38,520
No, no, no.
No, you've got a schedule.
134
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,020
This just happened
so fast.
135
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,160
I know. I just never
saw it comin'.
136
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,960
Well, I gotta go.
137
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,530
Wait! Mike...
138
00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:53,990
Just because
we're not gonna spend
139
00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,390
the rest of our lives
together
140
00:05:55,490 --> 00:05:56,830
doesn't mean
we can't have
141
00:05:56,930 --> 00:05:59,130
one more night
together.
142
00:06:00,890 --> 00:06:01,870
Wait.
143
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,560
You just
broke up with me
144
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,660
and now you want to...
145
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:07,980
What are you, a guy?
146
00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:13,880
Wait a minute.
147
00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:15,370
You dumped her
and slept with her
148
00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:17,470
in the same night?
149
00:06:17,990 --> 00:06:19,990
I mean, you're like
James Bond.
150
00:06:21,550 --> 00:06:22,890
Congratulations, Mike.
151
00:06:22,990 --> 00:06:25,250
Yeah, we're so proud
of you.
152
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:29,480
I was in a very
vulnerable place
last night, okay?
153
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,840
I'm ashamed of myself.
154
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,580
You just pulled down
your own rebound, Mike.
155
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,150
Very few guys
in our league
156
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,550
can score on
a play like that.
157
00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:43,870
I got a question
for you.
158
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,610
Did you guys have
sex before or after
you broke up?
159
00:06:47,410 --> 00:06:48,470
After.
160
00:06:48,570 --> 00:06:49,750
I've got news
for you, honey.
161
00:06:49,850 --> 00:06:51,850
You didn't break up.
162
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:53,440
What's she
talking about?
163
00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:56,240
Any sex within
24 hours after
the break-up
164
00:06:56,340 --> 00:06:57,680
is technically
make-up sex.
165
00:06:57,780 --> 00:06:59,780
Technically,
you made up.
166
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,200
No...
167
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,490
(ALL CLAMORING IN AGREEMENT)
168
00:07:05,590 --> 00:07:07,790
Aw, I'm so glad
that I was informed.
169
00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:10,290
I wish somebody
would just write down
170
00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:11,770
all these rules for me.
171
00:07:11,870 --> 00:07:12,930
I'll give you one.
172
00:07:13,030 --> 00:07:14,970
Next time you want
to end a relationship,
173
00:07:15,070 --> 00:07:17,070
try letting the woman
shake your hand.
174
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,020
Hey, Paulie. What's up?
175
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,740
You look like hell.
176
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,440
There was no
secret meeting,
was there, Mike?
177
00:07:34,010 --> 00:07:35,310
Afraid not, Paulie.
178
00:07:35,410 --> 00:07:37,410
Sorry about that.
179
00:07:38,410 --> 00:07:40,410
(WHISPERING)
It's tomorrow.
180
00:07:45,860 --> 00:07:47,860
Sorry to keep
you dudes waiting.
181
00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:50,760
No problem, Mr. Mayor.
182
00:07:50,860 --> 00:07:52,840
This is wonderful tea.
183
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,360
Well, thank you.
184
00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:55,610
That's a rock 'n roll
thing, right?
185
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:56,890
That's good
for the voice?
186
00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:58,990
It keeps me regular.
187
00:08:00,470 --> 00:08:02,470
Okay. Rock on.
188
00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:04,970
I hope you guys
don't mind me asking,
189
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,380
but why did
you fellas break up
in the first place?
190
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,380
(CLEARS THROAT)
That may be
thin ice, sir.
191
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,480
What?
That's all right.
192
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,260
We just lost sight
of why we played music.
193
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,360
You know, it became
all about money.
194
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:18,940
So, you boys got
those contracts?
195
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,050
Yeah.
196
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:26,910
Just put your
Herbie Hancocks
right there.
197
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:29,570
Herbie Hancocks.
That's a little
rock 'n roll humor.
198
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:32,340
Yeah. It's a good one.
199
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,720
You see, I thought
you broke up
200
00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:36,560
because you, Kevin,
write all the music
201
00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:37,760
and the lyrics,
202
00:08:37,860 --> 00:08:41,240
but Johnny here seems
to get all the attention.
203
00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:42,520
Yeah, Johnny always
did have a knack
204
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:44,280
for sticking
his face out front.
205
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:46,610
I don't deserve
a little recognition?
206
00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:47,690
I tell you what...
207
00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:49,690
Let's play "first one
to sign the contract
208
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:52,670
"gets a free picture
of the Mayor
on his vacation."
209
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,090
Oh, look,
Johnny.
210
00:08:55,190 --> 00:08:56,330
It's the same
island
211
00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:58,020
you and your bimbo
girlfriend stayed on
212
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,380
while I was holed up
in the studio
213
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,860
writing
our last album.
214
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,140
I should have
renamed that one
215
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,120
"Bite me,
you ungrateful,
self-centered jerk."
216
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:07,860
Well, hey, now,
we both know
217
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,970
that wouldn't sell
a million copies.
218
00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:12,330
I'm outta here.
219
00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:18,570
Way to go with
the picture, Mike.
220
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:25,280
Would you care for
a cup of coffee, sister?
221
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:27,960
I take my strength
from the Lord, Paul,
222
00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:30,060
not from some
popular narcotic.
223
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:32,900
(MOUTHING)
224
00:09:33,820 --> 00:09:34,810
Now...
225
00:09:34,910 --> 00:09:37,410
Tomorrow I'm coming
with the entire parish
226
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,410
to talk about
our security issues.
227
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:41,290
I want a plan
for keeping
those hooligans
228
00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:42,450
off the property.
229
00:09:42,550 --> 00:09:43,970
You could put
a big picture
230
00:09:44,070 --> 00:09:46,070
of yourself
out front.
231
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,160
That might
do the trick.
232
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,420
(BUZZER BUZZES)
(JANELLE OVER SPEAKER)
Carrie's here.
233
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,520
Oh! Just a minute,
Janelle.
234
00:10:00,290 --> 00:10:02,470
(DOOR OPENS)
235
00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:04,570
Mike?
236
00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:08,310
You look terrible.
237
00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:09,670
There are going
to be good days,
238
00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:12,360
and there are going
to be bad.
239
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:14,080
Why did you
want to see me?
240
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,900
I guess I just...
I had to know for sure
241
00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:20,380
that it was really over.
242
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,100
I'm sorry, Mike.
It is.
243
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,710
Well, that's okay.
I just had to know...
244
00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:31,390
for sure.
245
00:10:32,230 --> 00:10:34,230
Shake?
246
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,180
You know, it's been tough
on me, too.
247
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,060
I mean, I sat there
last night.
248
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:44,820
I laid in bed all night
249
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,220
hearing nothing
but the sound of that clock
250
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,310
next to my bed,
counting away my life.
251
00:10:50,410 --> 00:10:54,350
Tick, tick, tick.
252
00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:56,530
And then I realized
what I need to do.
253
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,490
Get a digital clock?
254
00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:03,120
I can't wait any longer,
255
00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:06,200
so I'm just gonna go ahead
and have a baby on my own.
256
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,280
That's great.
257
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:09,200
Me? I'm gonna
go out and have
258
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:11,300
a couple
of beers with
the guys, but...
259
00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:14,770
We all handle grief
in our own ways.
260
00:11:14,870 --> 00:11:18,510
See? Your sense of humor.
That's such a wonderful trait.
261
00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:23,230
Ahh, that's why
I'm so happy
I'm having your baby.
262
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,260
Are you telling me
that you're pregnant?
263
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:38,020
Nope. But I will be,
thanks to you.
264
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,870
Wait, am I missing
a step here,
265
00:11:39,970 --> 00:11:44,110
because if you're talking
about last night,
266
00:11:44,210 --> 00:11:46,230
I took precautions...
267
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,790
We took precautions.
268
00:11:47,890 --> 00:11:50,150
Let's just say
I'm the kind of girl
269
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,380
that never throws
anything away.
270
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,900
I put it in the freezer.
271
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:03,620
You froze my guys?
272
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:07,850
I'm just here
to get your blessing.
273
00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:10,050
What am I, the Pope?
274
00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:11,170
Don't yell at me.
275
00:12:11,270 --> 00:12:14,130
Those are my guys!
I want them back!
276
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:16,130
All right, look.
If you're gonna be
all weird about this,
277
00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:17,220
I'm just gonna leave.
278
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,320
You can't do this!
279
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,240
Give me back my sperm!
280
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,810
How you guys doin'?
281
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:36,510
Crucified in the press.
282
00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:40,110
My approval ratings
have dropped overnight.
283
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:42,200
Get that band back
together again, Flaherty.
284
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:44,300
My first
priority, sir.
285
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:47,820
Okay. Mike's fertility
clinic open
for business.
286
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:51,360
Nikki. Medical. Go.
287
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:52,720
This particular
insemination method
288
00:12:52,820 --> 00:12:54,370
can actually work,
289
00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:56,090
although obviously
it isn't popular
290
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:58,190
amongst most women.
291
00:12:59,270 --> 00:13:01,670
For one,
they don't get dinner
and cab fare home.
292
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:04,290
All right. Legal.
293
00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:06,780
Basically, the rulings
are confusing
294
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,740
and arbitrary,
295
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,860
referring to lots
of cases in books
296
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,960
I couldn't find.
297
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,870
Keep in mind
I'm not a lawyer.
298
00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:21,970
Mike, that's Carrie
on line 2.
299
00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:23,950
Uh, Carrie. Hi.
300
00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:25,310
Uh, yeah.
301
00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:26,590
Listen, um, um...
302
00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:28,590
What? What?
Put her... put her...
303
00:13:28,690 --> 00:13:29,950
Put her on hold!
Trust me.
304
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:32,060
Put her on...
Put her on hold.
305
00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:35,240
Carrie, I'm just
gonna put you on hold.
306
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:38,760
Mike, I was this close
from getting into the CIA.
307
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,720
Trust me,
we gotta treat this
308
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,820
like a hostage situation.
309
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:47,350
Lassiter here.
310
00:13:47,990 --> 00:13:50,410
Yes, I am fully apprised
of the situation.
311
00:13:50,510 --> 00:13:52,930
Now, before we can even
begin to talk,
312
00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:54,690
as a show of good faith,
313
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,130
you have to release one,
314
00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:58,400
maybe two million
of the hostages.
315
00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:11,590
Look, Kevin, I was hoping
it wouldn't have
to come to this,
316
00:14:11,690 --> 00:14:15,130
but I got some
photographs of you
and Elton John.
317
00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:19,350
I think you might
want them back.
318
00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:21,780
I used those as
Christmas cards in '84.
319
00:14:24,020 --> 00:14:25,960
All right. That was
my best shot.
320
00:14:26,060 --> 00:14:27,360
Look, you gotta
understand.
321
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:29,500
I got a lot
going on right now.
322
00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,040
I...
323
00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:35,350
I had sex with
this woman, Kevin,
324
00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:38,350
and she wants
to get pregnant.
325
00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:41,910
She kidnapped my guys,
326
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,590
and she put them
in the freezer.
327
00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:47,320
That old story.
328
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,780
Uh, James.
329
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,460
Kevin Travis,
this is James Hobert.
330
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,260
He's the Mayor's
speech writer.
331
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,460
Hi.
332
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,620
I'm your... Uh...
333
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,610
Yours...
all your albums...
334
00:15:01,890 --> 00:15:03,790
Anyway, if you're
going to say no,
335
00:15:03,890 --> 00:15:05,890
I dare ya.
Say no to him.
336
00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:09,830
âªâª Baby, baby
337
00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:11,940
âªâª I love ya, babyâªâª
338
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,000
That song
changed my life.
339
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,280
Mine, too.
340
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:18,040
Went double platinum.
I bought an island.
341
00:15:18,140 --> 00:15:20,320
(LAUGHS)
342
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,840
I'm your biggest fan.
343
00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:24,810
I bought the vest
you wore on your
first tour for $1,000.
344
00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:26,910
Never worn a vest
in my life.
345
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:31,390
Oh, God.
346
00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:36,470
I see that you're
supposed to be meeting
347
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,860
with the lesbian
activists tonight.
348
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,300
And I've got Sister Margaret,
349
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,940
so I was wondering,
350
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,980
what do you say
we trade, okay?
351
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,820
My nuns
for your lesbians.
352
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,270
They're not baseball
cards, Paul.
353
00:15:49,370 --> 00:15:51,950
And besides,
what do you know
about lesbians?
354
00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:55,110
What do lesbians
know about me?
355
00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:57,590
This could be
a fabulous opportunity.
356
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,690
To remind them
why they're lesbians?
357
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:04,640
All right.
Carrie's on her way.
358
00:16:04,740 --> 00:16:06,720
I gotta get going.
You all know your
assignments.
359
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:08,200
Carter, Stuart,
you're gonna
come with me.
360
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,360
While I break into
her apartment,
361
00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:11,000
you hold the cab,
you hold the elevator.
362
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,560
Nikki,
you are plan "B."
363
00:16:12,660 --> 00:16:14,850
I want you to distract
Carrie with these.
364
00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:16,650
Sperm bank
pamphlets?
365
00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:18,330
Yeah. It's a list
of donors.
366
00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:19,730
It's probably
a fool's errand,
367
00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:21,170
but see if you can
find somebody
368
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:23,270
who's got
something I don't.
369
00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:26,090
Mike, I didn't get
an assignment.
370
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:28,860
Yours is the most
important job of all.
371
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,200
You stay here
and look busy, okay?
372
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,380
I gotta get going.
373
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:34,900
' Cause by my precise
calculations,
374
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,340
she should be here
in five minutes.
375
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:37,580
Hi, Dad.
376
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,690
Damn this watch.
377
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,990
Hi. Carrie, please,
right this way.
378
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,350
Carter, Stuart,
379
00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:45,870
I have to take
this meeting,
380
00:16:45,970 --> 00:16:47,790
so I can't take
the other meeting
I was going to take.
381
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:49,890
If you could take
that meeting for me?
382
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,320
Wait a minute.
What meeting?
383
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:53,580
I thought you guys
were going to break
into the apartment.
384
00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:55,400
Now you understand
why your role in the mission
385
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:57,480
is to stay here
and look busy.
386
00:16:57,580 --> 00:17:00,040
Carter, Carter,
before you go,
387
00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:02,000
I'm begging you,
switch with me.
388
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:04,110
Please. I'll do anything.
389
00:17:05,510 --> 00:17:07,450
STUART: I can't believe
you'd rather commit
a felony
390
00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:08,730
than talk to some nuns.
391
00:17:08,830 --> 00:17:10,970
PAUL: Just
stand there while
I get my bearings.
392
00:17:11,070 --> 00:17:12,730
I have a very keen
night vision.
393
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:14,370
In a few moments,
it's going to seem
394
00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:16,050
like broad daylight
in here.
395
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:17,660
Does this help?
396
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,420
Ow. Ow.
397
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,080
Ouch. No, my pupils
were fully dilated.
398
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,220
I still can't get over
that outfit.
399
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:26,740
You can stand there
and laugh,
400
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,180
but when we're fleeing
from the police,
401
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,230
which one of us you think
they're gonna notice first?
402
00:17:30,330 --> 00:17:31,750
I'm gonna guess
the guy that looks like
403
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,850
Catwoman on steroids.
404
00:17:35,890 --> 00:17:37,390
Come on.
Let's get going.
405
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,030
And watch out
for your fingerprints.
406
00:17:39,130 --> 00:17:40,430
Paul, we don't have
to touch anything.
407
00:17:40,530 --> 00:17:41,880
Just unplug
the refrigerator.
408
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:43,240
By the time she figures
out what happened,
409
00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:44,360
it'll be too late.
410
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:46,460
I think I got it.
411
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,160
Oh. That's not it.
412
00:17:50,260 --> 00:17:51,600
Just grab the stuff
and let's go.
413
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,400
You grab the stuff.
I paid for the cab.
414
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,610
I picked the lock.
415
00:17:54,710 --> 00:17:56,170
I broke the toaster.
416
00:17:56,270 --> 00:17:58,370
(POLICE SIREN WAILS)
Oh, my God.
We're gonna get caught.
417
00:17:58,470 --> 00:18:00,850
Oh, God. I'll never see
the light of day again.
418
00:18:00,950 --> 00:18:02,050
Get the package.
419
00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:03,370
What package?
420
00:18:03,470 --> 00:18:05,490
Aaah! I'm panicking!
421
00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:07,960
Every man for himself!
(SIREN WAILS)
422
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,180
How'd it go, guys?
423
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,310
Go ahead.
Tell him, Paul.
424
00:18:19,410 --> 00:18:21,390
Tell him how
you saved the day.
425
00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:22,710
Is this it?
426
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,950
Welcome home, fellas.
427
00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:27,210
Mike, that's
frozen yogurt.
428
00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:30,790
Mike, you gotta
understand.
429
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:31,960
Mike, the bad news is
430
00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:34,060
you're going to be
a father.
431
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:37,640
The good news is
we saved you a teaspoon
432
00:18:37,740 --> 00:18:39,980
of this fat-free
frozen dessert treat.
433
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,240
Mike, please.
434
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:43,690
Understand
there were sirens
435
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,810
and they kept getting
closer and closer...
436
00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:47,370
And then
what happened, Paul?
437
00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:50,030
They kept getting
farther and farther away.
438
00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:53,610
All of you failed
at your assignments.
439
00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:54,690
No, no, no, Mike.
440
00:18:54,790 --> 00:18:56,800
Not me. I'm busy.
Busy-busy.
441
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,620
Okay. Now I know
442
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,460
that you really
want to have
a baby with someone,
443
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:07,940
and I know
that you're afraid
444
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,350
that you're not going
to find that person.
445
00:19:09,450 --> 00:19:10,750
I am afraid, too,
446
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,510
but believe me
when I tell you
447
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:13,990
one day you will,
448
00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:17,450
and you're going to be
so, so happy that
you waited.
449
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,240
Blah, blah, blah,
450
00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:27,600
blah, blah,
blah, blah.
451
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,700
Okay. You're nuts.
452
00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:39,050
You padlocked
the freezer.
453
00:19:39,150 --> 00:19:42,190
Fine. I'm taking
the whole thing
with me.
454
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,200
Could you hold
the door for me?
455
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,040
Well, we did it.
456
00:19:58,570 --> 00:20:00,950
How'd we do it?
457
00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:02,870
Sir, he's got a daughter
applying to colleges,
458
00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:05,310
and once he
found out my father
was president of Yale,
459
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:07,350
things just really
fell into place.
460
00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:09,990
I thought your father
was a pharmacist.
461
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:12,340
Sir, with all due respect,
do you wanna rock, or what?
462
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:17,320
Hey, Mike, how'd it go?
463
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:19,420
Just call me Pops.
464
00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:21,920
Can't you feel
the excitement, Mike?
465
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:23,080
Oh, yeah, sir.
466
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,010
A couple of hippies
stumble out of
retirement
467
00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:27,310
and pad their
investment
portfolios.
468
00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:29,370
Whoopee, sir.
469
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:31,530
This is more than
some old hippies, Mike.
470
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:33,630
This is Clark,
Prado, and Conrad!
471
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:36,360
No. Those are
your attorneys, sir.
472
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,380
(CROWD CHEERING WILDLY)
473
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,100
New York City knows
how to rock 'n roll!
474
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,540
And as a thank-you
to our fans,
475
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,980
get ready for the biggest
rock band in history
476
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,110
to give you the biggest
light show in
the history of Rock Them.
477
00:20:49,210 --> 00:20:51,390
Let's rock!
478
00:20:51,490 --> 00:20:53,490
(ELECTRICITY ZAPPING )
479
00:21:00,610 --> 00:21:02,360
Mike, you're not supposed
to hold the lighter up
480
00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:04,640
until the end
of the show, I think.
481
00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:06,320
That is the end
of the show, sir.
482
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:08,200
Power's out all over
the city.
483
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,640
Everywhere?
It's a tragedy.
484
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:11,920
I mean, the city
can't exist
485
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:14,650
without its subways and
its traffic lights, its...
486
00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:16,750
Refrigerators.
487
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,000
We've got bigger problems
than melting ice cream, Mike.
488
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,520
I don't, sir.
489
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,150
PAUL: Ladies,
the power's going
to be off for a while,
490
00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:41,150
so we should get started.
Let me just say
491
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,150
first off
that this administration
is very proud
492
00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:45,990
of its open attitude
towards alternative
lifestyles.
493
00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:47,950
Who you choose to share
your bed with
494
00:21:48,050 --> 00:21:50,630
or who you choose
to shower with
495
00:21:50,730 --> 00:21:53,840
or whatever,
is entirely your choice.
496
00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:56,320
Consensual sex
is entirely that.
497
00:21:56,420 --> 00:21:58,660
Consensual.
So, enjoy.
498
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,430
Ugh.
499
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:06,490
I'm sorry.
500
00:22:06,590 --> 00:22:08,590
It's the wrong room.
34933
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof