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1
00:00:00,990 --> 00:00:03,090
Great work today, okay?
2
00:00:03,190 --> 00:00:05,210
I just, uh, called
you in here
to let you know
3
00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:08,820
it looks like our,
uh, our parking proposal
isn't gonna fly.
4
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,800
Oh, on a side note,
Stuart, your car's
being towed.
5
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,190
Don't bother,
it's too late.
6
00:00:16,290 --> 00:00:18,390
All right, look, I know
everybody put in a lot
of hours on this project,
7
00:00:18,490 --> 00:00:19,830
but let's not take it
personally, okay?
8
00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:22,120
City Council
is not out to get us.
9
00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:24,680
Why is everybody
smiling at me?
10
00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:27,680
Mike, it's just that
it's nice to see you
leaving so early these days.
11
00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:31,370
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but it's 6:00, right?
12
00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:33,170
That is when our day
usually ends.
13
00:00:33,270 --> 00:00:35,170
Uh, no, it's not.
That's when you told us
it ends when you hired us.
14
00:00:35,270 --> 00:00:36,380
(CLEARS THROAT)
15
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,100
It's actually more
like 9:00 or 10:00.
16
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,260
By the way, Mike,
things still going
well with Gayley?
17
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,360
Gayley.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
18
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,350
Okay, all right.
All right,
now I get it.
19
00:00:45,450 --> 00:00:47,710
I see. So now that
I'm finally
dating someone,
20
00:00:47,810 --> 00:00:49,430
I'm... I 'm rushing out
of here every night.
21
00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:51,200
Let me set the record
straight, okay?
22
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:52,520
My professional life
comes first.
23
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:53,600
If my job required
me to be here
24
00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:55,360
at 4:00 in the morning,
I would be here.
25
00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:57,460
Uh, Mike!
26
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:10,060
Oh, gee! Oh.
I'm sorry.
27
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,180
Oh, gosh,
darn it.
28
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,410
Stuart, why did you
have to see me
at 6:00 exactly?
29
00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:22,160
No reason.
30
00:01:22,260 --> 00:01:24,260
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
31
00:01:34,950 --> 00:01:36,100
Who cares about
total reform?
32
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,100
I'm focusing on
criminal law.
33
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,200
I mean, the only reason
why I took this class was
because the professor was...
34
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,030
Mike, you're
doing it again.
35
00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:46,210
Doing what? what?
You're staring
at my food.
36
00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:48,950
No, I'm not.
37
00:01:49,050 --> 00:01:51,060
I'm staring
at your breasts.
38
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,880
Don't try to get out of it.
39
00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:58,330
Every time we go out,
you rush through your meal
40
00:01:58,430 --> 00:02:00,490
and then you stare until
I let you finish mine.
41
00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:02,010
You know, when you say
things like that,
42
00:02:02,110 --> 00:02:04,350
I begin to think
maybe you don't
understand me.
43
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,740
Are you gonna eat
those potatoes or...
44
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:11,140
Eat up, babe,
'cause you're paying.
Excuse me?
45
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,500
I won my mock trial today.
46
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,950
Well, congratulations.
47
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,590
But I believe our deal
was I would buy dinner
48
00:02:15,690 --> 00:02:19,270
when you won your first trial,
not your first mock trial.
49
00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:21,740
For that, we'd go out
to a mock dinner.
50
00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:26,860
And, uh, maybe a little
mock dancing.
51
00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:30,410
Do you know
how to mock dance?
52
00:02:30,510 --> 00:02:32,510
I'm doing it right now.
53
00:02:33,910 --> 00:02:35,920
You are so beautiful
when you do that.
54
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,700
I just want to
tell you that, uh...
55
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,940
these last few weeks
have been really amazing.
56
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:46,470
You know, I know we've been
going kind of slow,
57
00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:48,270
but it's been
a long time since
I've met anyone like you
58
00:02:48,370 --> 00:02:50,380
and I just didn't want
to screw things up by...
59
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:52,680
going too fast, you know?
60
00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:54,120
You want to
get out of here?
61
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:56,220
I'll get your coat.
62
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:59,010
Sorry, I'm late.
I had to change
my shirt and tie.
63
00:02:59,110 --> 00:03:01,290
Wow, you look great!
64
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,390
Oh, Paul.
65
00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:06,520
He gets that off of
"you look great"?
66
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,060
Well, he's not
just saying that.
67
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,300
You see, Paul never lies.
68
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,410
Don't have it in me.
69
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:16,190
Really? What do you think
of Nikki's sweater?
70
00:03:16,290 --> 00:03:19,390
Well, for starters,
it's the wrong
color on her.
71
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,620
And uh, it makes
her look boxy.
72
00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:25,180
Well, good night all.
73
00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:30,430
You know, the skirt's
all wrong, too.
74
00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:37,600
See, I told you.
Every one of
Marvin Gaye's CDs.
75
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,740
It was not just
a pick-up line.
76
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,290
That's too bad,
because it was
very smooth.
77
00:03:46,170 --> 00:03:48,170
So, how about that
drink you promised me?
78
00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:51,000
Actually,
uh, that...
79
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,100
That was
a pick-up line.
80
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,440
I... I'm sorry,
I don't have anything.
81
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:57,080
How about
a glass of water?
82
00:03:57,180 --> 00:03:58,570
A water?
Yeah, okay.
83
00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:00,870
Uh... brown, no ice?
84
00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:03,650
Just the way
I like it.
85
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,740
Why don't you just
put on some music?
86
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,840
Do you like Marvin Gaye?
87
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,700
He's okay.
88
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,820
GAYLEY: So, Mike...
89
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,870
I finally get to see
your apartment.
90
00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:15,470
I have to be
honest with you,
91
00:04:15,570 --> 00:04:17,830
I was beginning
to think you still
lived with your parents
92
00:04:17,930 --> 00:04:20,400
or you were
a serial killer.
93
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:24,020
Well, I, uh...
I definitely don't
live with my parents.
94
00:04:29,150 --> 00:04:31,150
Drink?
95
00:04:31,990 --> 00:04:34,250
Still going out with
the psychiatrist tonight?
96
00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:38,020
Not a chance.
That guy put the "psycho"
in psychoanalyst.
97
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,740
The night would have
been a total loss
except he did
98
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,750
tell me a sure-fire way
to mentally dominate people.
99
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:46,490
My grandpa
always did that
by using the evil eye.
100
00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:50,220
Bring me my soup.
101
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:56,000
Change the channel
on my television.
102
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,110
Well, I can
certainly see how
he hooked Grandma.
103
00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,610
You guys,
I am serious.
104
00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:03,850
He said this
is a great tool
to use in business.
105
00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:07,020
He said the first step is
you just ignore the person.
106
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,540
Oh, come on,
human beings just
aren't that simple.
107
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,220
Mmm, yep, they are.
108
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,330
Yes, they are what?
109
00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:16,310
What's her problem?
110
00:05:16,410 --> 00:05:17,790
I don't know.
111
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:20,020
Why should she be
angry with me?
What did I do? Hey, Nikki!
112
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,360
Nikki!
113
00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:24,320
MIKE: I just wanted
to give you
the grand tour.
114
00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:28,210
This... This is
actually just
the, uh, foyer.
115
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:30,310
You see that door
over there that
looks like a closet?
116
00:05:31,270 --> 00:05:33,130
That's the east wing.
117
00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:36,420
You got your
dining room, parlor,
bowling alley.
118
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,460
And over there?
119
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,860
Uh, that's the...
That's the bedroom.
120
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,110
Uh, rug, dresser,
alarm clock.
121
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,470
Bed.
122
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,670
Bed.
123
00:05:46,770 --> 00:05:48,770
Hence, bedroom.
124
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:52,680
Geez, you'd think
I'd never brought
a woman up here before.
125
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:55,040
Now wait,
not that I...
126
00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:57,090
you know,
bring a lot
of women up here.
127
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,150
I mean, you know,
just enough
so that I don't look pitiful.
128
00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:05,640
But... But not so many
that I look sleazy.
129
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,420
And how many is that?
130
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,620
Uh, let me see. Uh...
131
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,730
(MUTTERS)
132
00:06:14,130 --> 00:06:16,590
None.
133
00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:19,340
It's been a while
since I dated
anyone...
134
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:22,100
seriously.
135
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:33,130
But I'm feeling much
better about it now.
136
00:06:33,230 --> 00:06:36,060
Uh, listen, since
you did pay
for the grand tour,
137
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,460
if I didn't show you
the bedroom,
138
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,690
they'd probably take
away my National Parks
license.
139
00:06:42,930 --> 00:06:44,930
You, uh...
140
00:06:45,690 --> 00:06:47,230
sure you want
to go in there?
(CHUCKLES)
141
00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:49,240
You sound like there's
somebody waiting
on the other side
142
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:51,120
holding a pie.
143
00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:53,220
No.
144
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:55,700
Not this time.
145
00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:02,610
Um...
146
00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:05,620
You think
you remember
how this works?
147
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,640
Uh, I figure
it's like
riding a bike.
148
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,950
I mean,
I may fall off
a few times,
149
00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:16,730
but after a few minutes
I'll be standing
on the handle bars.
150
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,800
Well, it's just
so nice to finally
meet one of Mike's
151
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:25,910
young lady friends.
152
00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:28,310
Just so lovely.
153
00:07:29,670 --> 00:07:32,370
Mom, Dad, you're
embarrassing me.
154
00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:34,180
Well, we approve.
155
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,280
Special, special,
special.
156
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,380
Well, I... I have to
get going to class.
157
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:41,950
It was nice
meeting all of you.
158
00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:44,050
You be careful.
You kids be safe.
159
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,720
She's pretty cool,
don't you think?
160
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:51,400
I'm sure I've met her
somewhere before.
161
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,360
Do you think
she seems familiar
'cause she's a woman
162
00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:55,470
and she doesn't
want anything
to do with you?
163
00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:02,210
Let's not forget, guys,
tonight is Councilman Farr's
bachelor party.
164
00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:05,100
He's been a good friend
to the administration,
so attendance is mandatory.
165
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,020
Uh, bachelor party, Mike?
I've got a note
from my mother.
166
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,180
It says I'm gay,
and I shouldn't be
forced to participate
167
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,290
in any heterosexual
debauchery.
168
00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:15,850
You know, unless you
actually have that note...
169
00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:18,640
you're going tonight.
170
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:21,160
Well, I think
bachelor parties
are pathetic excuses
171
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:22,640
for men to act
like little boys,
172
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:25,170
because even though
they're about to get
married, hello,
173
00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:27,930
they're still afraid
of commitment. I refuse
to be a part of it.
174
00:08:28,030 --> 00:08:30,230
Well, that's great,
'cause you're
not invited.
175
00:08:31,230 --> 00:08:32,580
Why not?
176
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,860
James, what's
your excuse?
177
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,960
You mean
I can go? Yes!
178
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:39,940
Come in.
179
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,670
Hey there,
funny face.
180
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:43,750
Can I treat
you to dinner?
181
00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:45,670
(MOUTHS)
182
00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:48,600
Uh, dinner, no.
I can't have dinner
tonight because, uh...
183
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:51,180
I'm not hungry.
I had a big lunch.
184
00:08:53,140 --> 00:08:55,930
You said all you had
for lunch was a bagel.
185
00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:59,050
Bagels, bagels!
with an "s," bagels.
186
00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:01,250
Well, how many bagels
did you have?
187
00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:02,500
Eleven.
188
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,900
Oh, my goodness!
were you in some
kind of contest?
189
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,940
No, no.
I was just...
Just hungry.
190
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,790
Oh, okay.
Well, no dinner.
191
00:09:09,890 --> 00:09:11,470
Do you wanna just
go to the movies?
192
00:09:11,570 --> 00:09:14,510
You see, I can't,
because I'm going out
with the guys tonight.
193
00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:15,830
We're going to
a hockey game.
194
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,600
Oh. who's playing?
195
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:20,780
It's so tough to tell
because they're all...
They're wearing masks.
196
00:09:23,140 --> 00:09:26,370
It's okay if you want
to spend a night out
with the guys.
197
00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:29,090
I... I'm sorry.
I'm just... I'm
a little on edge.
198
00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:31,130
I must be hungry...
Uh, thirsty.
199
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:33,820
I must be thirsty.
I must be thirsty.
200
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,740
Okay. So you'll
call me in
the morning?
201
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,420
You betcha. Okay.
Love you.
202
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,520
I love you.
Okay, bye-bye.
203
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:43,410
Eh, piece of cake.
204
00:09:46,010 --> 00:09:47,440
(MUSIC PLAYING)
205
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,160
I wish Nikki
were here.
206
00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:50,960
Oh, yeah,
that would make
us seem less pathetic,
207
00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:53,060
if we had
a woman with us.
208
00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:57,310
No. I wish Nikki
were here!
209
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:00,990
(MAKES A WOLF CALL)
210
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,750
That's it.
That's enough. He's, uh...
He's all through now.
211
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:15,270
Thank you.
Thank you.
212
00:10:15,370 --> 00:10:17,000
Terrific girl.
Wonderful dancer.
213
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:19,100
She really
kept up with me.
214
00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:21,600
Listen, Paul,
management
sent me over.
215
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,800
They, uh... They don't
encourage dancing along
with the performers.
216
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,530
Well, what am
I supposed to do?
217
00:10:25,630 --> 00:10:27,730
Just sit here
and watch?
218
00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:30,150
Welcome to the concept
of a strip club.
219
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,260
How are you
gentlemen doing?
220
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,300
Ha-ha!
221
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,220
Yep, this is
fascinating.
222
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:40,750
It's as if the
evolutionary process
had a rewind button.
223
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:43,910
Listen, I figure we got
about 15 more minutes
to press to the flesh here.
224
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,630
Stewy, that's just
a figure of speech.
225
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:48,600
Find Councilman Farr,
buy him a drink,
and let's get out of here.
226
00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:49,800
All right.
227
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,060
ANNOUNCER: Gentlemen,anything you say or do
228
00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:52,840
will not be usedagainst you.
229
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:55,910
So, put your hands togetherfor Ms. Miranda Rice.
230
00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:58,050
STUART: Whoo!
231
00:10:58,150 --> 00:11:00,150
(CROWD CHEERING)
232
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,210
See, I told you
I knew her.
233
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:19,200
Mike, apparently,
someone tipped
off The Post.
234
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:21,720
There was
a photographer at
the club last night.
235
00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:23,320
Great. I'll look
at the pictures
later, Janelle.
236
00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:25,330
Right now, let's just
plaster on a couple
of fake smiles
237
00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:26,770
and keep moving.
238
00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:28,090
You okay?
239
00:11:28,190 --> 00:11:29,410
Oh, I'm fine.
I'm just hoping this
doesn't blow up
240
00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:30,850
into some kind
of monster.
241
00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:33,300
Hey, Flaherty,
you got five bucks?
242
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,740
MIKE: Sure, you want
to borrow it?
243
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,540
No, I wanna earn it!
244
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,990
Boom diddy
boom diddy
boom boom boom.
245
00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:41,310
Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo
tchoo-tchoo.
246
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,930
Chh chh chh chh! Ffff!
247
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,220
Save it for
the GIs, Roberta.
248
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,430
God help me.
249
00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:58,010
Mike, you're gonna
have to talk to
her eventually.
250
00:11:58,110 --> 00:12:00,810
I tried talking
to her last night
at the club.
251
00:12:00,910 --> 00:12:02,940
But it was
20 bucks a song,
252
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,040
the music was blasting...
253
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,180
So basically
it cost me 100 bucks,
254
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,370
and all I could make
out was "toot toot...
ahh... beep beep."
255
00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:14,690
Twenty bucks
a song. That's
pretty good money.
256
00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:16,840
Can men do this?
257
00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:19,300
Ah, men, yes.
You, no.
258
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,480
This is a tough one, Mike.
What are you gonna do?
259
00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:25,450
What's he gonna do?
He's dating a stripper.
260
00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:27,210
He's gonna
get down on his
hands and knees
261
00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:29,310
and worship
the ground
she gyrates on.
262
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,420
I can't believe
she lied to me.
263
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,580
We're not talking about
"I had to wash my hair."
264
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,100
We're talking about
265
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,630
"I had to wash my hair
in front of 150 paying
customers."
266
00:12:40,730 --> 00:12:43,750
I think it's over.
I... I don't think I can
see her anymore.
267
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,860
Too expensive?
268
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,410
All right, Stuart.
now you're in that
very scary place
269
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:57,510
I like to call
the "be careful" zone.
270
00:12:58,510 --> 00:13:01,100
Maybe you should give
it more thought, Mike.
271
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,620
Just can't believe
she's gonna be
out of my life.
272
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,720
(LOUD SCRIBBLING)
273
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:10,090
"You can always
visit her at work."
274
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:17,320
(INAUDIBLE)
275
00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:20,680
Gotta be honest.
I'm a little
disappointed, Mike.
276
00:13:20,780 --> 00:13:23,810
Well, sir,
we obviously
had no idea
277
00:13:23,910 --> 00:13:25,410
the press were
gonna show up.
278
00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:27,810
What? No, no, no,
I'm disappointed
you made me leave.
279
00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:31,140
Looks like you guys
were having a hell
of a time here.
280
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,100
So, why don't we call
a press conference
for this afternoon.
281
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,340
I'll face the music.
I'll answer, you know,
a few questions.
282
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,910
I'll do whatever
I have to make sure
this stays a one-day story.
283
00:13:38,010 --> 00:13:40,150
Well, welcome
to the public eye.
284
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:42,150
You two do make
a handsome couple,
though.
285
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:44,350
The only thing
you can see in that
picture is her stomach.
286
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:46,460
Well, still...
287
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:50,640
Good morning,
sweetheart!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
288
00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:53,170
So, how was your
game last night?
289
00:13:53,270 --> 00:13:56,090
Can I have a little time
to think about that
before I answer?
290
00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:58,410
Oh, sure!
291
00:13:58,510 --> 00:14:01,880
And while you're
thinking, maybe you
might wanna read the paper.
292
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,830
Mike made me go,
and then Stuart made
me lie to you.
293
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,390
And who made you
ogle that woman?
294
00:14:12,490 --> 00:14:14,510
Well, it would have
been rude
not to look at her!
295
00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:16,620
She's dancing
in my lap!
296
00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:21,080
Paul, it's all the lying
that's bothering me.
297
00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,890
I mean, you're
a grown man.
298
00:14:22,990 --> 00:14:26,490
You're allowed to enjoy
yourself with your
sleazy, juvenile friends.
299
00:14:26,590 --> 00:14:28,590
Good morning, Claudia.
300
00:14:29,230 --> 00:14:30,540
Stuart.
301
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,640
Hey, buddy, you got
a little sweat on
your brow there.
302
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,230
All right,
here's my plan.
303
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:39,330
I'm meeting her
in a couple hours
at Nathan's.
304
00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:41,750
I'll break up
with her there.
305
00:14:41,850 --> 00:14:43,850
The hot dog place.
306
00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:47,620
What, you couldn't
get a reservation
at McDonald's?
307
00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:51,760
Carter, it's neutral
territory.
308
00:14:51,860 --> 00:14:53,890
There's no chance
for a scene.
309
00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:56,010
It'll give me
a couple hours
to get prepared.
310
00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:58,110
Unless she
shows up early.
311
00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:01,040
Ooh, look at the time!
312
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,520
You're not wearing
your watch.
313
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,240
Ooh! I'm gonna
go find it.
314
00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:12,590
I got your message.
I thought I would
come by now.
315
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,400
Well...
316
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,500
you and your surprises!
317
00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:19,640
Mike, let me start
by saying I'm sorry.
318
00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:20,960
It's no big deal.
319
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:23,050
Besides, my mother
has been bugging
me all year
320
00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:25,150
for a new picture.
321
00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:31,300
I'm not going
to apologize for
what I'm doing.
322
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,900
I used this job
to get through college,
323
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,300
and now I'm halfway
through law school.
324
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,990
I work at a safe place.
I'm comfortable
with my body,
325
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:42,570
and for the first time
in my life, I am
making great money.
326
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,660
Hell, I made
100 bucks off you!
327
00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:49,200
See, this is exactly
the kind of thing
328
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,460
I needed a couple
of hours to get
prepared for.
329
00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:55,550
Okay, look. I...
330
00:15:56,830 --> 00:16:00,480
I guess I just never...
pictured myself
with a...
331
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,240
with the kind of
woman who dances
in a strip club.
332
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,230
I guess I never
saw myself
333
00:16:08,330 --> 00:16:10,330
with a guy who
frequents them.
334
00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:13,350
Yeah, well, I was
there for my job.
335
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,460
So was I.
336
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:19,280
You had to know
the position you
were putting me in.
337
00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:20,880
I know. I'm sorry.
338
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,730
You're right.
I'm just being
defensive.
339
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:24,250
It's all my fault.
340
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:27,170
I should have
told you everything
in the first place, but I...
341
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,280
didn't wanna lose you.
342
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,040
Mike...
I'm crazy about you.
343
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,850
(SIGHS)
344
00:16:38,050 --> 00:16:40,090
All right, go on.
You're in kind of
a good area there.
345
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:47,280
Have you ever been
with someone
346
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:49,840
and it's so intense
and so passionate
347
00:16:49,940 --> 00:16:53,690
that it feels like
a fireball,
348
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:56,850
and whenever
you're within five feet
of that person,
349
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,960
you feel like
you have to...
350
00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,430
I hope you were
gonna say
kiss them,
351
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,530
or I'll feel like
a complete idiot.
352
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,150
It's conference time.
353
00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:14,240
MIKE: Uh, yeah, okay.
354
00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:16,320
Mike, wait.
What are we saying here?
355
00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:19,420
I'm saying, uh,
I'll be back in
a couple of minutes.
356
00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:25,670
She seems to be
taking it well.
357
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:30,940
Mike, Mike,
do you have any
comment at all
358
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,940
about the
appropriateness
of city employees
359
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,560
frequenting
these kinds of
establishments?
360
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:39,050
No, I don't.
361
00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:42,190
How did Councilman Farr's
fiancee feel about this?
362
00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:45,020
Well, technically,
she's no longer his fiancee.
363
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:50,040
Uh, I understand
the both of them
are in counseling,
364
00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:52,050
and we wish them the best.
365
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:55,170
What about rumors
that you're dating
one of the strippers?
366
00:17:55,270 --> 00:17:58,820
You know that in
a perfect world, that's
none of your damn business.
367
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,140
But we all know we don't
live in a perfect world
368
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,340
and you people tend
to like things in terms
of black and white...
369
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,180
Excuse me, Mike.
370
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,290
James, do you mind?
I'm kinda hitting
a high point here.
371
00:18:08,850 --> 00:18:10,850
I... I think you
should read this.
372
00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:14,480
Uh, sir, can you
cover for me?
373
00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:16,040
Sure, yeah.
not a problem.
374
00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:17,640
ALL: Mr. Mayor!
Mr. Mayor!
375
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:19,680
No, no, no!
We need some order here,
and we're gonna get it!
376
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:22,590
I'm responding to the
questions alphabetically.
377
00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:26,570
Now, anyone
whose last name
starts with an "A,"
378
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,780
hands up.
379
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,660
Don't get me wrong this is...
This is a really cute note,
380
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:32,980
but I'm kind of
working out there.
381
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,780
Mike, what are
you doing in there?
382
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,470
I mean, right now
it's just a couple
383
00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:38,750
of embarrassing
pictures from
a bachelor party,
384
00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:40,430
but before you
start jeopardizing
your career,
385
00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:43,480
don't you think
we should finish
our conversation?
386
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,720
We did finish
our conversation.
We kissed.
387
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:49,120
That's the way I end
all my conversations.
388
00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:52,850
Now if you let me go
I'll go back in there,
I'll finish up, I'll...
389
00:18:52,950 --> 00:18:56,530
kiss all the
reporters and...
come back out here.
390
00:18:56,630 --> 00:18:59,080
You never told me
how you feel
about what I do.
391
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:01,860
Now?
392
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,580
Yeah, now.
393
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:08,730
Okay, look, I... I just
always pictured myself
with a woman who...
394
00:19:09,930 --> 00:19:12,620
would get undressed
at the end of the day.
395
00:19:15,340 --> 00:19:19,200
I pretty much assumed
the rest of the day
she'd stay dressed.
396
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:22,230
Is this a problem
that we can't
get over?
397
00:19:23,350 --> 00:19:25,010
Well, I guess we'll
find out eventually.
398
00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:26,810
That's an awful
big chance to take
399
00:19:26,910 --> 00:19:28,740
considering
the consequences.
400
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,300
Yeah, well,
you know what, though?
401
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,340
I think it's a chance
that I'm... I'm...
402
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,990
you know,
pretty sure I...
403
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,810
I definitely maybe
want to take.
404
00:19:39,530 --> 00:19:41,670
Geez, Mike, get
down on one knee
and say that,
405
00:19:41,770 --> 00:19:43,760
and I'm yours forever.
406
00:19:43,860 --> 00:19:46,320
You're right,
you're right. You know
what? I'm ready.
407
00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:47,920
I am ready.
408
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,310
I'm sure a part
of you is ready.
409
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:55,810
But I think
that there is
another part of you
410
00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:59,500
that would find it
a lot easier if I
just walked away.
411
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,180
Yeah, but the part
of me that's ready
412
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,850
is like really,
really ready.
413
00:20:06,610 --> 00:20:08,510
And the part
of you that's not?
414
00:20:08,610 --> 00:20:10,610
We don't listen to him.
415
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:19,260
He's Mr. Negativity.
416
00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:25,730
I don't know.
this...
417
00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:27,840
This is hard.
418
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,400
What... What do you think
we should do?
419
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,550
As I understand it,
420
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,710
the boys were unaware that
this particular establishment
421
00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:38,810
featured adult entertainment.
422
00:20:40,450 --> 00:20:43,220
Okay, uh... "G."
423
00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:49,650
Didn't the big neon
sign tip them off?
424
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:52,330
Unfortunately, one of
the letters had burned out.
425
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:55,610
And what exactly
did they expect to find
426
00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:58,120
in a 100% nud bar?
427
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,840
Pure nud.
428
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,050
ALL: Mike. Mike.
429
00:21:07,010 --> 00:21:09,270
Mike, just clear up
one thing.
430
00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:12,720
Are you or are you not
currently dating
one of the dancers?
431
00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:16,280
If your question is
am I dating a beautiful,
432
00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:19,130
attractive law student
who happens to have a...
433
00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:22,750
part-time job in the legal
and lucrative world
of exotic dancing...
434
00:21:24,190 --> 00:21:26,920
Uh... Uh... no.
435
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,640
No, I'm not.
436
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,200
Okay, what letter
are we on?
437
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,270
H.
H, H.
438
00:21:34,370 --> 00:21:35,830
Okay, let's get moving
or we'll be here
all night.
439
00:21:35,930 --> 00:21:37,930
Yeah, Halford.
440
00:21:38,410 --> 00:21:41,520
I don't know.
He hardly seems dominated.
441
00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:44,280
Huh. Prepare for phase 2,
442
00:21:44,380 --> 00:21:45,800
the whisper and deny.
443
00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:47,360
What?
Come here.
444
00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:49,470
(WHISPERING)
445
00:21:50,430 --> 00:21:52,570
What? what?
What are you
talking about?
446
00:21:52,670 --> 00:21:54,870
Nothing, Stuart.
447
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,740
What did she just...
What did she
just say to you?
448
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,840
You're a feeble-minded fool.
449
00:22:05,810 --> 00:22:07,810
Granted. Now,
what did she say?
34281
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