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1
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,883
What's the first derivative of kinetic
energy with respect to velocity?
2
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,852
I don't know.
3
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,222
What goes "quack"?
4
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,729
I don't know.
5
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:49,477
Hey, kids. Put away
your stupid homework for a minute...
6
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,812
...And look at Mommy.
7
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:54,548
She's going out with her man tonight.
8
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:58,118
Where should we tell Dad you went?
9
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:01,555
It's your father I'm going out with.
10
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,758
At least he cared enough
to remember my birthday...
11
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,628
...Which is more than I can say
for two certain people...
12
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,898
...Who sprang painfully, and in some cases...
13
00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:14,568
...Backwards from my loins.
14
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,739
We would've gotten you something,
but you said:
15
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,709
"If I ever look as old
as Mrs. McKelvey across the street...
16
00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:24,144
...I never wanna have a birthday again."
17
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:28,082
Mrs. McKelvey is 50.
18
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:35,890
Just wait till I find out
when your birthdays are.
19
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,158
Mine's in February.
20
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,327
I'm an Aquarium.
21
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,901
And an empty one.
22
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,939
- Where's Dad taking you?
- Oh, I don't know.
23
00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:54,341
He just said to wear something special.
24
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:58,078
Gee, I hope it's dinner and dancing
at the Beef Trough.
25
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:01,015
That's our place, you know.
26
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:05,886
Peg...
27
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,688
...You look fabulous!
28
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:11,091
You're gonna knock them dead
at the bowling alley.
29
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,828
The bowling alley?
30
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,097
You're taking me bowling on my birthday?
31
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:20,100
It's your birthday?
32
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:24,038
Kids, tonight Mommy rides
in the front seat.
33
00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,273
Hey, what're you kids doing?
34
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,275
Homework. Got finals coming up.
35
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:31,145
Well, put it away. This is something
really important.
36
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,013
Now, as we all know...
37
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:36,050
...My good friend Puggy Weaver
is leaving the neighborhood.
38
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,619
This is my last chance
to break his alley record...
39
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:42,056
...In front of his sweaty,
pork-like little face.
40
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,292
I've been training for weeks,
avoiding anything that would hurt me:
41
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,628
Red meat, red wine...
42
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,763
...Redheads.
43
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:54,401
And those energy-draining showers.
44
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:58,339
Behind every successful man
is a woman who didn't marry me.
45
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,410
Now, you, my children,
have the important task...
46
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:07,214
...Of recording my victory for posterity.
Too many a great Bundy moment...
47
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,217
- ...Has been lost for lack of a camera.
- We had a camera...
48
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:15,022
...On our honeymoon.
You just kept beating the flash.
49
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,126
Well, Peg, if you recall...
50
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,763
...I was doing fine till you
came into the room.
51
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,800
Come on, Peg.
52
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:30,204
This'll be the first birthday
you begin in an alley.
53
00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,807
Kids, get the cameras.
Peg, get my ball.
54
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,176
Al, it's my birthday.
55
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:39,813
You're right. I'll carry the ball.
You go push-start the car. Let's go!
56
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,715
Let's go!
57
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:50,090
- Ready, Dad.
- I'm entering!
58
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,360
Widen.
59
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:54,862
Widen.
60
00:04:55,029 --> 00:04:57,164
- Did you get your mother?
- Yeah, Dad.
61
00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,099
Rewind.
62
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:05,172
Hi.
I'm Al Bundy at Jim's Bowlarama.
63
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:08,375
Feeling good, feeling spry.
64
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,778
What have we here? A plaque...
65
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,946
...The highest game in Bowlarama history...
66
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:16,483
...A plaque which will soon read,
"Al Bundy."
67
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,819
Yep.
Al Bundy, Al Bundy
68
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,288
Brave, courageous and bold
69
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:25,125
Long live his fame
And long live his glory
70
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:28,128
Long may his story be told
71
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:30,464
Still picture, please.
72
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,405
Daddy, help. I'm blind!
73
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,774
Let us bowl!
74
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,745
Daddy? Daddy?
75
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,313
Daddy?
76
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,952
Something die in here?
77
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,154
Oh, Bundy.
78
00:05:54,321 --> 00:06:00,160
Puggy. I didn't recognize you
with your fist out of your nose.
79
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:03,964
So I understand you're leaving town.
You'll be packing up the wife, kids...
80
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:08,435
...And the 300-pound hooker you
visit every Friday after work.
81
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,538
So I just stopped by to give you
a little going-away present.
82
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:15,042
Al "The King" Bundy will now
do to your record...
83
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,411
...What time has done to your face.
84
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:23,083
Peg, unzip it.
85
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,253
The bag, Peg.
86
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,094
There's a spot on my ball. Peg!
87
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,035
Sorry, girls. He's taken.
88
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,773
- Start tape.
- Ready, Dad.
89
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,108
Frame one:
90
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,944
The Bundy legend.
91
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,917
Strike!
92
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:11,865
Well, it's gonna be a long evening,
Mom.
93
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,401
You want me to order a couple of beers?
94
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,372
For you and...
95
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,175
...Some ice cream with gummy bears for me?
96
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:27,381
Strike!
97
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,791
Still a long way to 256, Bundy.
98
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,893
Not for your wife, Puggy.
99
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,431
Al, I'm bored.
100
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,033
Peg, this is a bowling alley.
101
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,135
Surely you can find something to do?
102
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,237
Well, I just can't decide.
103
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:55,042
Let's see. Tennis, baccarat,
chamber music.
104
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:58,812
Oh, I know. Maybe those gentlemen
scratching their behinds...
105
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,815
...Are having a poetry reading.
106
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,851
Peg, bowl!
107
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:07,054
That would look really great.
There is nothing more pathetic...
108
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,957
...Than a woman who bowls alone.
109
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,396
Well, here we are again.
110
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:19,533
- Marcie?
- Peggy!
111
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,172
This isn't as pitiful as it seems.
112
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:28,642
Well, actually, I was told this
is a good place to meet men.
113
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:32,379
And it is. Why, just last week,
I met two guys.
114
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,948
Of course, they left together.
115
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,185
Yep, the single life for me.
116
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,054
Oh, yeah. This is the place
to find a good one.
117
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:45,025
You know, there's nothing wrong
with dating a doctor or a lawyer...
118
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,895
...But when you are really ready
to settle down...
119
00:08:57,571 --> 00:09:00,641
...You can't beat a bowler.
120
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,443
Frame eight:
121
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,279
With grim determination...
122
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,247
...Bundy picks up his ball...
123
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:11,285
...Knowing all he needs is two strikes
and eight little pins...
124
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,720
...And a certain pork pie's record
is history.
125
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:19,126
Oh, there is no joy in Pugville.
126
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:23,931
Mighty Bundy shall strike out.
127
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,400
Just bowl, shoemeister.
128
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,203
Al, honey, I just bowled
four strikes in a row.
129
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,239
Shut up, Peg.
130
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,711
Strike!
131
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,588
Honey, this really is so exciting.
132
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,357
I mean, four strikes in a row!
133
00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:53,226
I've never done that before.
Come on, you gotta come see.
134
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:57,397
Peg, this is your birthday,
please don't make me kill you.
135
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:58,765
Okay, okay.
136
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,767
I'll be quiet.
137
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,340
Honey?
138
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,617
A 2-4-10 split.
139
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,053
You gotta pick all them up
and bowl a strike...
140
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,788
...If you wanna break my record.
141
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,293
What did you want, Peg?
142
00:10:28,562 --> 00:10:31,098
Well, I just wanted to wish you good luck.
143
00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:33,066
Away, woman!
144
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:47,180
One more strike to go!
145
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,350
Strike!
146
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,288
Are you ready, Bud?
147
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:58,125
- Ready, Dad.
- Kelly?
148
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,271
Good girl, Kelly.
149
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:14,341
This is for all the marbles.
150
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:22,015
Strike!
151
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,651
I did it! Two-fifty-seven!
152
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,853
I got it on tape!
153
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,289
My life is not for nothing!
154
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,292
I'm so happy!
155
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,728
Nothing can ruin this moment.
156
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,135
Strike!
157
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:46,173
Hey, the broad in the gown
just bowled six strikes in a row!
158
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,284
You've got six strikes in a row, Peggy.
159
00:11:57,451 --> 00:12:00,253
Gee, I wonder what
the Bowlarama record is.
160
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,523
Peg, I'm done.
We can go home now.
161
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,259
She can't go now.
162
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:09,830
She's bowling a once-in-a-lifetime game.
163
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,498
Yeah, Dad. Look.
164
00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:14,868
I mean, three more strikes
and your record's history.
165
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:19,439
Dad? Could you sweat this way, please?
166
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,514
Al, wouldn't it be great
if I broke your record?
167
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:33,220
Oh, man. That'd be the icing
on the tombstone.
168
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,455
Any tips for tomorrow's losers?
169
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:40,560
I hope someone's filming you
during the reading of my will.
170
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,562
Who cares? I'm not worried.
171
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:46,233
Bud, your mother has a 60 average,
just like in high school.
172
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,735
There's no way she could
possibly continue to--
173
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:50,937
- Strike!
- Throw strikes.
174
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,473
See, what you gotta know about bowling...
175
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,876
...Is that anybody can make a lucky shot.
176
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,612
But over the long run, the game is set up...
177
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,481
- ...So only the truly skillful--
- Strike!
178
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:04,151
Get that stupid thing out of my face!
179
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,287
Peg, listen, honey.
180
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,290
I was just thinking, this is no place
to spend the evening.
181
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,559
You're all dressed up.
It's your birthday.
182
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:17,664
I know. What say we go home, I take
my shirt off, you rub my back.
183
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,333
I can't, honey. Didn't you hear?
184
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,170
I have eight strikes in a row.
185
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:26,306
Just wait here.
I'm gonna break your record.
186
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,841
What a great birthday.
187
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,745
Hey, Dad.
188
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:35,448
A little hemlock on the rocks, eh?
189
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,884
Not yet, son.
I still have one weapon left.
190
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,920
Watch. Oh, Peg.
191
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:41,821
Please make this strike for me.
192
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,157
You'll make me the happiest man on Earth.
193
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,794
See, I've-- I got a little money
riding on you, Peg.
194
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,931
Do it for me, baby. Do it, honey.
195
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,570
Gutter ball.
196
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,721
Strike!
197
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,823
A new alley record!
198
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,491
Unbelievable!
199
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:25,565
Well, nothing much left to say
but goodbye, eh, Dad?
200
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,667
Oh, it doesn't matter.
It's no big thing.
201
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,337
Whatever she bowls,
I'll just come back and beat her.
202
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:33,340
I'll bowl every night of my life
until that record is mine.
203
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:36,209
How bad can it be?
What's she bowling, 260?
204
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,812
- Strike!
- Two-seventy, Dad.
205
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,948
Not impossible. Not impossible.
206
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:44,985
Oh, Al. Honey, I need you.
207
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:49,222
Marcie says that I am three balls away
from a perfect game.
208
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,690
A perfect game!
209
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,325
Oh, but, honey, I'm nervous.
210
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,862
I mean, what if I mess up
like you did on our honeymoon?
211
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:01,101
Al, help me.
212
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,470
Hey, everybody!
213
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:06,439
I've got a woman working
on a perfect game here.
214
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,809
She's a little nervous, so I want quiet.
215
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,779
That means no comments
about her shaking hands...
216
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:18,585
...Her fading strength or her outdated
dress that doesn't fit anymore...
217
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,021
...On, yet this, another birthday.
218
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,790
So go ahead, honey, bowl.
219
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:27,927
And remember,
I want absolute quiet!
220
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:54,020
You, sir, are Satan's toejam.
221
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,956
I know what you're up to...
222
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,125
...Trying to sabotage your own wife.
223
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,728
Is there no limit to how low you'll go?
224
00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:04,564
Well, I wouldn't kiss you on a bet.
225
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:08,134
Can't you let this woman
have one night of joy?
226
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:10,036
She has so little.
227
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,405
She's married to you.
228
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,140
You've seen her children.
229
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,576
And now, for one fleeting moment...
230
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,112
...She has a chance to bask in the sun...
231
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:22,415
...Instead of reeling from the moons.
232
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,418
Now, go. Encourage her.
233
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,389
Peg...
234
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,892
...Our children were killed in an avalanche.
235
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,099
- Bowl, Peggy.
- Okay.
236
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,435
Bowl like the wind.
We're all behind you.
237
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,571
Can't beat a 300 game, I guess.
238
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:48,408
Well, you know, I never really liked
bowling, anyway.
239
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:52,345
Those 20 years of practice just got
me ready for what I really like to do.
240
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:56,416
Sit in the backyard in a lawn chair,
let the buzzards pick at my eyes.
241
00:16:58,418 --> 00:16:59,853
She won't do it, Dad.
242
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,156
The chances of her bowling
a perfect game are a million-to-one.
243
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,525
- I mean, even pros don't bowl--
- Strike!
244
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,528
One more!
245
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,830
One more, and she's got it.
246
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,999
God, you must feel low.
247
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,874
Kelly, come here.
248
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:27,213
Now, kids, do you know what
we're witnessing here?
249
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,183
- A perfect game?
- No, no.
250
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:33,186
The Bundy curse.
251
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,756
It's what keeps us from being happy.
There's no point in fighting it.
252
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:40,560
It's what separates us
from the ordinary losers.
253
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,696
They can have their moments, but not us.
254
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,398
Never us.
255
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,201
But Mom's having a major moment
now, and she's a Bundy.
256
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,904
She's not truly a Bundy.
257
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,239
See, your mother's just
a Bundy by marriage.
258
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:58,211
She's part of the curse.
259
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:01,881
But we are blood Bundys.
260
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:04,717
We are truly doomed.
261
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:10,490
Whoa, Bundy.
262
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,728
Okay, Al. Okay, honey.
263
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,031
This one's for you.
264
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:21,000
- I know it is, Peg. I know.
- Okay.
265
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,658
Yes!
266
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,661
Yes! I can bowl again!
267
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,730
I can bowl again!
268
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,612
I did it! I did it!
269
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:08,081
Oh, my God! Al! Al!
270
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:11,117
Honey! Honey,
I bowled a perfect game!
271
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,186
Aren't you proud of me?
272
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:14,687
Al?
273
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,589
Al?
274
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,767
Hi. Garrett Glaser for News Wrap-Up.
275
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:30,003
A tragedy was narrowly averted today...
276
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,805
...When a man returning home
from a bowling alley...
277
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,174
...Where his wife just bowled
a perfect game...
278
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,277
...Raced into a burning building...
279
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,813
...Saved a family of ten
and the family dog, Winky.
280
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,116
Mr. Bundy, what made you do it?
281
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,218
Well, Garrett,
I've always been a winner.
282
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:49,322
And winners are always
there at the winning time.
283
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,324
Mr. Bundy, people around here...
284
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,526
...Are talking about running you for mayor.
285
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,996
Well, I'm not saying I won't run.
286
00:19:57,163 --> 00:20:00,633
But if I do, order the beer
and get your bribes out...
287
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,870
...Because as I said before,
I am a winner.
288
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,172
Bundy! Bundy!
289
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,141
Bundy! Bundy!
290
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,009
Bundy! Bundy!
291
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,815
Mom, why is Dad watching a blank screen?
292
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,220
I don't know.
293
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:24,023
But he seems happy.
294
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:27,093
He may have just snapped, Mom.
295
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:31,831
Well, it's not like you need
a brain to sell shoes.
296
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,767
Come on, kids.
Help Mommy put her big trophy...
297
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,870
...In front of Daddy's little ones.
298
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,939
- Good night, honey.
- Good night, Daddy.
299
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:41,874
Good night, Dad.
300
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,746
Hi, everybody, I'm Roy Firestone.
Our guest tonight on Sportslook...
301
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:50,383
...Personally rewrote the record book
on both offense and defense.
302
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,719
Meet the future hall-of-famer...
303
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,921
...Al "Icky" Bundy.
304
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,029
I can't help but notice the fact...
305
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:05,131
...You're wearing your football jersey...
306
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:08,001
...Three months after the season was played.
307
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:11,671
Well, Roy, it fits good,
and the chicks love it.
308
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:18,144
Al, if we could get serious
for just a few moments.
309
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:21,614
Your wife's bowling game,
the perfect 300 score...
310
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,616
...Did it in any way affect you...
311
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,351
...Mentally?
312
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:29,422
{\an8}Well, it might have affected me, Roy,
if I didn't have anything else in my life.
313
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:32,859
{\an8}But, you know, between
the NFL and the endorsements...
314
00:21:33,026 --> 00:21:36,963
...And of course being knighted
by the Queen of England...
315
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:41,034
Well, what the hell, let the little lady
have her little moment in the sun.
316
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,137
If there was a single word...
317
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:48,141
...A single word that would define
the essence of you, Al...
318
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,276
...What do you think that word would be?
319
00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:54,347
Winner.
320
00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:59,252
Al Bundy, ladies and gentlemen.
Husband, father...
321
00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:01,087
...Football player...
322
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:02,989
...Bullfighter...
323
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:06,492
...Aviator, inventor
of the seven-day underwear.
324
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:09,495
Truly, truly the complete man.
325
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:11,998
Thank you for joining us.
We appreciate it.
326
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:14,934
Hey, it's your dime, Roy.
327
00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:18,237
We'll be back with more
on Sportslook right after this.
24568
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