Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,377
Doesn't anyone want breakfast?
2
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,579
I have an egg and some M&M's.
3
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,382
I can make an omelet.
4
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,385
No, thanks.
I'm still pleasantly nauseous...
5
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,755
...After last night's feast
of the three-legged chicken.
6
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,826
Why would you buy a chicken
with three drumsticks?
7
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,128
Well, it cost seven cents a pound.
8
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,832
The one with two legs cost $1.19 a pound.
9
00:01:38,032 --> 00:01:41,969
Excuse me for thinking of our
bankbook instead of our health.
10
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,905
Didn't you think just maybe there
was something wrong...
11
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:47,908
...When the label said, "Chernobyl Farms"?
12
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:53,380
I mean, how many chickens have flippers?
13
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,484
Don't blame me for that.
14
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,420
I just thought it was an extra head.
15
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:01,956
You liked it, didn't you, Bud?
16
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,591
It was tasty, but hard to eat.
17
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:06,694
I mean, every time I cut a piece off
it would grow back.
18
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,331
Can't somebody get Kelly
out of the bathroom?
19
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:13,167
I'm a little queasy.
I'm still trying to pass a beak.
20
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:17,404
Next.
21
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:21,976
That's me, Dad. I have to stud
myself up for school.
22
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,144
So you'll be needing your smoking jacket...
23
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,680
...With matching blue Pampers.
24
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,517
Girls like me.
25
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,919
They do.
26
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:36,390
So, what's for lunch today, Mom?
Leftover chicken tumor?
27
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,859
You know, I'm hurt.
28
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:43,597
I feed a family of four for 32 cents,
and all I get is grief.
29
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:48,736
I'm trying to save money for the
more important things for this family.
30
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,740
Can I have $70 to play the lottery?
31
00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:56,443
Can't I just give you 70 cents
for some prime rib?
32
00:02:56,677 --> 00:03:00,247
Please, Al, the jackpot
is up to $6 million.
33
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,350
I have a system. I know I can win.
34
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:06,854
Leave Daddy alone, Mom.
He works hard for his money.
35
00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,622
Dad.
36
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:13,327
Could I have $100 for a python?
37
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:18,032
I need one for the school talent show.
38
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,568
Marry your own wallet.
39
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,405
Oh, Al, please?
40
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:27,174
I just need $70 to play my system.
41
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:31,545
I've studied the numbers. In school,
there was one thing I was good at.
42
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,847
But in the real world
they don't give prizes...
43
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:37,017
...For the longest period by a sophomore.
44
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,355
- It's all yours, Dad.
- Well, it's about time.
45
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,824
The man who goes to work,
who pays the bills...
46
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:46,560
...Finally gets to enjoy the fruits
of his labor.
47
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:50,364
Stand back, kids. Let Daddy
show you how it's done.
48
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,601
Oh, and you might wanna
put on your galoshes.
49
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,002
Oh, no.
50
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:59,373
Yep. She's rising
like the mighty Mississipp'.
51
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,075
Now, from what I can tell...
52
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,612
...You or Mom tried to flush Kelly's
report card down the toilet.
53
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:12,119
Oh, no. Did I let the F's out of the bag?
54
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,321
Al, she's failing again.
55
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:18,659
Who cares? I've got a chicken
pecking its way out of my body.
56
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,096
Why did we buy a house with one bathroom?
57
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,666
Because all the houses
in our price range were on fire.
58
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,471
Except for that lovely house
with no kitchen that I wanted.
59
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,374
We all have to live
with our disappointments.
60
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,410
I, of course, have to sleep with mine.
61
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,285
Is that its new name?
62
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,963
But the point is...
63
00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:59,400
...When I was growing up,
I had two dreams.
64
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:03,570
One was being an astronaut and
landing on the planet Jayne Mansfield.
65
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,774
The other was having a bathroom
all to myself.
66
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:12,746
Well, Daddy got blown off course and
had to crash on a much darker planet.
67
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,849
But, family, I'm going to realize
my second dream.
68
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:19,486
I'm going to build a bathroom.
The greatest bathroom in the world.
69
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,222
And I want you to know something,
all of you.
70
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:25,426
Nobody uses that bathroom but me.
71
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,164
Honey, how can we afford a new bathroom?
72
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:34,568
As it is, we give the kids candy
and tell them it's vitamins.
73
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:37,838
No more vitamins for a while, kids.
74
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,573
Don't worry. It won't cost much.
75
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,142
Because I'm gonna build it myself.
76
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,412
Mom, I'm scared.
77
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:51,318
Hi, honey. How was school?
78
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:55,255
Reading, adding, false alarm,
principal's office, the usual.
79
00:05:57,424 --> 00:06:01,562
Kelly, you believe in your mother,
don't you?
80
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,797
Well, a little bit.
81
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:06,366
That's sweet.
82
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,402
Can I borrow some money for the lottery?
83
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:12,139
I can't, Mom. Since Dad decided
to build his dream bathroom...
84
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:14,108
...He took away our allowance.
85
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,544
What does he think, blond hair
just grows out of your head?
86
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,816
It's here!
87
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:27,588
Where's Bud?
I want him to see this.
88
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,256
Bud, get down here!
89
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,191
Family, gather round.
90
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,994
What is it, Dad?
91
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,898
My destiny, son.
92
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:42,703
When I was a young boy, I told myself
when I grew up I would have one thing:
93
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:46,140
A toilet bowl like my dad had.
94
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,409
I thought it was a head like a peanut.
95
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,412
He had one of those too.
96
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,115
You're not gonna ruin my moment, Peg.
97
00:06:55,315 --> 00:07:00,187
Now, stand back and feast
your eyes on this:
98
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,694
Is it just me or is that a toilet?
99
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,730
Not just a toilet...
100
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:13,734
...A Ferguson, the king of bowls.
101
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:16,970
Bud, sit down.
102
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,873
Let me tell you the story of the Ferguson.
103
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:27,147
These babies were made in Maine,
at the little Ferguson factory.
104
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:30,050
It's the Stradivarius of toilets.
105
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:33,620
And my dad could play it like a violin.
106
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:43,230
I'll never forget the time my dad took me
on a trip to Maine to visit the factory.
107
00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:46,466
I had to go to the bathroom.
I begged to pull into a truck stop.
108
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:50,404
He said, "No, wait till we get there.
It'll be worth it."
109
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,639
It was.
110
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:57,244
Excuse me here, Dad,
but a toilet is a toilet.
111
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:03,116
Bud, the toilets today
aren't worthy of the name.
112
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:06,086
They come in designer colors,
and they're too low.
113
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:10,490
When you flush them they make
this weak, almost apologetic sound.
114
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,125
Not the Ferguson.
115
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,161
It only comes in white.
116
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,864
And when you flush it:
117
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,569
That's a man's flush, Bud.
118
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:28,642
A Ferguson says, "I'm a toilet.
Sit down and give me your best shot."
119
00:08:29,443 --> 00:08:32,279
Oh, if only a Ferguson could speak,
the tales it would tell.
120
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,650
And now I've got one of my very own.
121
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:40,787
Yeah, I just wish Dad could be alive--
122
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:49,563
This time, I don't think he's coming back.
123
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:02,609
Oh, look, Dad.
I'm sitting on my own Ferguson.
124
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:06,446
Just like you always knew I would.
125
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:12,853
Remember this at the trial, kids.
126
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,765
A Ferguson, you say.
127
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:29,102
It's made by elves, I think.
128
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,271
Somewhere in Canada.
129
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,807
How long will it take him
to build the bathroom?
130
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:37,110
The instruction books says a child
can do it in three weeks.
131
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,314
So you figure six, eight months.
132
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,784
Then we'll bring in a child.
133
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:48,989
Well, on the plus side, a second
bathroom increases the house's value.
134
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,296
But on the minus side...
135
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,999
...Doing it himself, is he?
136
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,635
Steve, why don't you go in there and help?
137
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:05,372
- Why should I help him?
- Because if you don't, he may not finish.
138
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:08,408
Then he'll come over and use our bathroom.
139
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,711
Like last week.
140
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,980
He killed our goldfish.
141
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,136
Oh, hi, Al. I was just cutting
through here to go home.
142
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:40,140
Hang on a second there, Steve.
I wanna ask you something.
143
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,509
What do you think so far?
144
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,512
It's a dream, Al.
145
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,348
Many's a time I'll be sitting
in my bathroom...
146
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:51,084
...Wishing I could look at my car.
147
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:56,456
Do I detect a green-eyed monster
sneaking into your voice there, Steve?
148
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:59,359
Come on, you can be honest.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
149
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,463
Al, I don't see any area marked off
for a sink.
150
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,033
Hey, this is a man's bathroom.
151
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,037
You know how when you have to share
a bathroom with a woman--
152
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,339
Well, in my case, Peggy.
153
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,342
You get nylons on the shower rod.
154
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,145
You get Nair where the toothpaste
should be.
155
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:21,681
And a bottle of vinegar lying around.
156
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:26,420
What do they do in there?
Make a salad?
157
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,090
Well, not in my bathroom, Steve.
158
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,826
In my medicine cabinet,
I'll just have guy stuff.
159
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:37,130
Rolaids, milk of magnesia,
TUMS, my razor.
160
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,499
Why do you need a razor without a sink?
161
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,736
It's not for shaving.
It's for peace of mind.
162
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,373
Look over here.
This is my own design.
163
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,810
This is my four-roller
toilet paper dispenser.
164
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,548
No more running out in crucial situations.
165
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,884
When the bomb drops, I'm set.
166
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:01,121
Now, listen, Al. There might be looting
out there.
167
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,890
You might wanna get a rifle
to protect those babies.
168
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,694
That's a good thought, Steve.
169
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,634
I had another great thought.
170
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:18,238
I've been going to lots of bathrooms
lately, you know, research.
171
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:22,242
I saw something in a bathroom that
would work great in my bathroom here.
172
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,345
A door high enough so you
can crawl under without paying?
173
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,782
Oh, excuse me, Steve.
I don't have the class like you.
174
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:32,586
What with a fish floating belly-up
in your bathroom.
175
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:35,388
That fish was alive in the morning, Al.
176
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:42,963
Anyway, I was in this handicapped stall
and I noticed they have this great rail.
177
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:46,666
Many's the time I need a rail
to help me get up.
178
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,269
You really don't want this chicken?
179
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,538
No. Kids hate leftovers.
180
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:55,742
Oh, don't put it anywhere near a clock.
181
00:12:57,043 --> 00:13:00,514
Anyway, Marcie, I just know
my lottery numbers are gonna come up.
182
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,049
And I just need $70 to play.
183
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:06,186
So, what do you say, Marce?
You lend me the $70...
184
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,456
...And if I win, I'll pay you back.
185
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,692
Let me be honest with you, Peggy.
186
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:14,928
I once loaned money to a friend.
187
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,997
And that person never paid me back.
188
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:20,400
I never said a word about it,
but I harbored a deep resentment.
189
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,302
And it strained our relationship.
190
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:25,438
To the point that the very sight
of that person made me sick.
191
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:28,775
You're kidding.
What a low life.
192
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:32,179
- Who was it?
- It was you, Peggy.
193
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:41,188
How would you like to have the rights
to Al's organs after he dies?
194
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,923
Sound good?
195
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,125
Oh, no. I can't do that.
196
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:48,228
I hocked those the other day
for a tank of gas.
197
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:51,264
But, you know,
I think I have a spleen left.
198
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:54,100
No, but thank you.
199
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:59,206
We have so many knick-knacks already,
it would just be one more thing to dust.
200
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:03,810
If you really need the money, they're
looking for help at the supermarket.
201
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,479
You'd do that for me?
202
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:10,650
Listen, why don't you just ask Al
for the money?
203
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,486
I can't. Ever since he's been
building that bathroom...
204
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,956
...He hides his wallet in a different place.
205
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:20,493
Al's bowels are draining the very
lifeblood out of this family.
206
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,996
All he thinks about is that bathroom.
207
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:26,099
He even makes flushing sounds
in his sleep:
208
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,572
Not that he's given up his regular sounds.
209
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,043
Well, I guess I'm lucky.
210
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,247
Steve just holds himself and hums.
211
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,653
What a pig.
212
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:51,224
But at least he's not building
a monument to his regularity.
213
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:55,929
I am telling you, Marcie, Al loves that
toilet bowl more than he does me.
214
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,331
Oh, Peggy, don't be ridiculous.
215
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,270
Hi, Peg.
216
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,172
{\an8}Daddy loves you.
217
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,810
What does that toilet have that I don't?
218
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,612
A job.
219
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:19,753
And no one has won our big jackpot.
So keep playing.
220
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:24,357
Because the $21 million jackpot
could be yours.
221
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:35,168
Twenty-one mil,
and it's all gonna be mine.
222
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,570
You mean ours, don't you, Mom?
223
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,508
Sure.
224
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,544
This is ridiculous.
225
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:48,148
Mom, when is Dad
gonna turn the electricity on?
226
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,350
I wanna play some records.
227
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,385
Come on, Kel, you don't need records.
228
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,820
You know all the words.
229
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:57,324
Just chant, "Oh, Satan. Yea, Satan.
230
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:01,161
Satan, I'm your squeeze."
231
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,730
Eat Dad's socks.
232
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:05,932
Sniff his shoes.
233
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:13,406
Now, kids, we are all just
a little on edge here.
234
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:16,409
I think we're letting
the cold and dark get to us.
235
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:19,879
Mom, seriously, is this our life?
236
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:24,050
Well, I think you're old enough
to know the truth.
237
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,152
Yes, it is.
238
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:34,361
Okay, kids, coats off.
Daddy's on a break.
239
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:38,465
I'm just having the time of my life.
240
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,200
Bud.
241
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,635
Hi, Kelly.
242
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,771
Fergie.
243
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,607
Hey, I got an idea.
What say I get the camera...
244
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,877
...And we each pose for a picture
with the bowl?
245
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:54,481
Oh, can I stick my head in it, please?
246
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:59,052
You just wise-guyed yourself
out of a picture, young lady.
247
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:03,690
- Who's first?
- Al, we are living like Okies.
248
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,393
Can you please finish that bathroom?
249
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:07,894
I'm in the home stretch now.
250
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:11,064
I would've been done, but something
keeps happening to my stuff.
251
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:14,033
Bud, did you take my adjustable wrenches?
252
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,436
Yeah, Dad.
253
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,405
You're onto me.
254
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,507
I've been having these wild parties.
255
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,977
I've been inviting girls over,
and we turn the lights down real low...
256
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,480
...And we gang-fix the sink.
257
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,484
Kelly.
258
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,686
Oh, come on, Dad. Look around.
259
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:36,689
If I was gonna steal anything,
it wouldn't be from this house.
260
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,792
Yeah, it must be the neighbors.
261
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:42,061
People hear you got a Ferguson,
they think you got money.
262
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:46,499
Yeah, well, people hear you got a
husband, they think you have sex.
263
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,470
Say what you will, Peg.
You won't bring me down.
264
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,840
This bowl has given me a natural high.
265
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,776
Button up, kids.
I'm going back to work.
266
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:59,112
I wish I knew
what's happening to my tools...
267
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:03,883
...And my copper tubing, and my
towels, and my life, and my manhood.
268
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,111
Drop that tile!
269
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,285
You, Peg?
270
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:42,422
Oh, Al, I'm sorry...
271
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:45,225
...But it's just that you've been hiding
your wallet...
272
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:48,428
...And I had to sell your tools
for lottery money.
273
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:55,335
Oh, Al. You see, if you die,
then I can get welfare.
274
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:58,171
But if you live, I have nothing.
275
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,407
I had to do it. Don't you understand?
276
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,343
You see, you've got this bathroom.
277
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,645
Well, this lottery is my bathroom.
278
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,714
We each have a dream.
279
00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:10,650
Yours is just pathetic.
280
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,420
If winning the lottery is more
important than our marriage...
281
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,123
...Then go ahead.
282
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:27,834
Did I forget to mention
you won't make it to the door?
283
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,770
Come on, Peg. Sit down here.
284
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,574
Peg...
285
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:39,045
Honey, we don't need the lottery.
286
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,813
We've got each other.
287
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:44,117
I want the lottery.
288
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,853
Peg, all I'm asking you to do is nothing.
289
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,222
Nobody does that better than you.
290
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:52,525
Just pretend the kids are hungry
and I've got the flu.
291
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,061
Just sit on the couch
and pretend you don't exist?
292
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,064
- Yes.
- Like that time you broke your foot?
293
00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:03,069
Yes. Just for one week.
Can you do it for me, please?
294
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:07,240
You're so cute when you beg.
295
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,642
I'll do it, Al.
296
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,411
Peg, there's just one other thing.
297
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:14,581
If you have to steal for the lottery,
for one week...
298
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:19,452
- ...Steal from the kids, okay?
- Okay.
299
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,789
Oh, Peg, a funny thing happened.
300
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:25,491
I was at the gas station the other day...
301
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:28,595
...And I was rubbing my eyes.
302
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:33,633
This mechanic came over to me and
he said, "Don't do that. I own those."
303
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:38,204
What do you think he meant?
304
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:40,406
Well, you know how foreigners are, honey.
305
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,009
They think they own everything.
306
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:48,748
And congratulations
to our $60 million winner:
307
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:52,185
Mr. Soo Lum Park.
308
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:56,289
Not bad for two weeks
in the country, hey, Soo?
309
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,127
Did anybody take my skateboard?
310
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,029
Oh, leave me alone.
311
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:07,200
Well, Daddy finally finished his bathroom.
312
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:11,804
You know, the living room seems so
much bigger without the Ferguson.
313
00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:15,375
This must be quite a moment
for your father.
314
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:18,945
He's in there breaking in the Ferguson
as we speak.
315
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:22,849
Must be having fun.
He's been in there for over an hour.
316
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:27,754
How was it, Al?
317
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,356
I don't know, Peg.
318
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,394
I'm constipated.
319
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:43,503
This is the worst day of my life.
I wonder if this ever happened to Dad.
320
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:47,674
Do you want me to undercook you
some chicken, honey?
321
00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:49,275
No, but thanks anyway, Peg.
322
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:53,680
It'll take something a lot stronger
than raw chicken to get me fixed up.
323
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,850
And now stay tuned for the rest
of our exciting ABC lineup:
324
00:21:58,051 --> 00:21:59,552
Roseanne, Moonlighting...
325
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:03,089
...And the award-winning thirtysomething .
326
00:22:30,283 --> 00:22:33,352
Now, that's a man's flush.
25875
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof