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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,013 You know, the boys are upstairs working so hard... 2 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:22,249 ...And this popcorn will make a nice surprise for them. 3 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,319 So easy to make too. 4 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:29,190 Peggy, you're supposed to move it around. 5 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:35,996 Well, gee... 6 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,566 ...Now it's not easy anymore. 7 00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:43,370 Peggy, did you know this says, "Use before May the 11th, 1972"? 8 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:47,208 Marcie, if you read it carefully, it says: 9 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:52,146 "Best if used before May the 11th, 1972." 10 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,416 Boys! Popcorn! 11 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,485 Can you believe it? 12 00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:02,156 This little treasure was hiding in a box up in the attic. 13 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:06,460 It was a wedding present from Al's parents. 14 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,596 They gave you popcorn? 15 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,599 Yeah. Popcorn and Al. 16 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,468 I made out like a bandit. 17 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,338 Well, Steve's parents gave us china. 18 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:21,976 And written instructions on how to make melon balls for their son. 19 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,778 It's the only way he'll eat melon, you know. 20 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,380 Yeah, men are so fussy. 21 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,716 Do you know that after we were first married... 22 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:32,520 ...Al wouldn't eat unless his food was warm. 23 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,591 Okay, we've cleaned out your garage, your back yard, and your attic... 24 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,828 ...So tomorrow you're gonna help me clean out my garage, right, Al? 25 00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:44,198 One...second. 26 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,734 No. 27 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,936 Now, I hope that attic is nice and clean... 28 00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:50,604 ...For when Mother comes to stay. 29 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:54,275 Oh, yeah, the straw's been laid down. The trough's been built. 30 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,445 All we need is a little glass of bourbon to put her teeth in... 31 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:01,815 ...And she'll be in, pardon the expression, hog heaven. 32 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,686 Hey, popcorn. 33 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,826 Marcie, I don't need you to tell me what to eat. You're not my mother. 34 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:16,196 If you were, you'd know how to make a decent melon ball. 35 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,670 - It's good. - No, no, no. 36 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,272 No more popcorn till you put that junk in the garbage. 37 00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:29,410 Junk? I got a lot of good stuff here. I can use a lot of this. 38 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,446 Steve, look what she wants me to throw out. 39 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,884 My hedge clippers. 40 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:41,221 They disappeared one day from my yard. How did you get them? 41 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,193 Bud! Get down here! 42 00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,665 - What, Dad? - Did you take these hedge clippers? 43 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,268 Yes. Remember, you called Mr. Rhoades on the phone... 44 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,236 ...And I slipped over and took them? 45 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,743 Well, don't ever do it again. 46 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,245 I'm sorry, Steve, he must have misunderstood. 47 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,382 Hey, that's my car battery. 48 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:15,389 Well, you can't count that, Steve. That was before we became friends. 49 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:16,991 Hi, everybody. 50 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,827 Oh, the greatest thing happened at school today. 51 00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,862 The bus driver had a nervous breakdown... 52 00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,064 ...So we had to drive the bus ourselves. 53 00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:27,801 So if anybody calls and accuses me of locking the driver in the bathroom... 54 00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,870 ...And taking the bus on a joyride... 55 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:32,640 ...Now you know it's not true. 56 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,142 So, what is all this junk anyway? 57 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:39,480 It's not junk, Kel. It's Dad's life. And it's all in this box, isn't it, Dad? 58 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,048 You bet it is, son. 59 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,584 Hey, now, look at this. 60 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,953 MVP, Pop Warner football. 61 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,589 I was a little younger than you when I got this, son. 62 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,891 All-star Little League shortstop. 63 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,893 Oh, man. 64 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,629 All-city, football. 65 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,965 Then I met your mom... 66 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,504 Co-ed softball, Participant Award. 67 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,574 "Rookie Of The Year Shoe Salesman, 1968." 68 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,743 You'll notice how they're getting smaller. 69 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,913 Everything about him is. 70 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:17,718 Oh, yeah, and I'm sure you didn't have anything to do with that, did you? 71 00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:21,722 Well, that's the end of my trophies. 72 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,691 Gee, Al, what a testament to a... 73 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,493 ...Loser. 74 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,362 - Thanks, Steve. - No, really. 75 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:32,933 You'll never relive this glory. God, you must feel low. 76 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,004 - I didn't have much of an athletic past-- - Oh, come on, Steve. 77 00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:40,507 You must have got the "Running Home to Mommy" trophy once or twice. 78 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:45,079 Well, if I did win one, I'm sure it's somewhere in your box. 79 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:49,683 The point, however, is my life is getting better. 80 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:53,854 I've got the best trophy in the world right here to share it with me. 81 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,923 Couldn't you just eat him up? 82 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,892 No, Peg would probably just serve him cold. 83 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,129 Hey, look at this. 84 00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:03,931 The book that inspired my whole life. 85 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:06,200 Wanda, the Preppy Hippo? 86 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,337 The Little Engine That Could. 87 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:13,340 - Is this my book, Al? - No, it's not, and I can prove it. 88 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,409 Look here. Yeah. 89 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:18,612 "Property of the Oakwood Library." 90 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,348 Gee, Al, it's a little overdue. 91 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:24,418 1957 is past, isn't it? 92 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:28,622 Can you believe that, Kel? Dad was alive in 1957. 93 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,759 I didn't even think it was a real year. 94 00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:34,194 Wow, what memories this brings back. 95 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,230 Yeah. 96 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,301 You can't throw this away! 97 00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:45,405 Well, Steve, it's a book. He certainly can't read it. 98 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,809 Al! This is literature. 99 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,845 Don't you understand? You have to bring this book back. 100 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:55,783 Libraries all over the country are suffering from a shortage of books. 101 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,852 And a book is fuel for a hungry mind. 102 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,487 Books are for idiots. 103 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:03,757 I mean, you can learn everything you need... 104 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,960 ...From a movie or a date. 105 00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:11,698 Well, the world needs bimbos too. 106 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,536 Al, just take the book back. 107 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,905 I've got bad memories of that library. 108 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:21,842 Oh, honey, is that because all the other kids were reading? 109 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,978 No. 110 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,880 It's because of the librarian. 111 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,816 Miss De Groot. 112 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,985 God, she was fat and old and... 113 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:34,021 ...Fat. 114 00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:36,089 She had this cup of coffee on her desk... 115 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:39,827 ...And she'd always be spooning mounds of sugar into it from a jar. 116 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,396 And she'd stir it, it would make clanking sounds... 117 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,364 ...Like chains on a ghost. 118 00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,600 Fat ghost. 119 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,603 God, she hated me. 120 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,259 Well... 121 00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:14,795 Young Mr. Bundy. 122 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,699 The devil boy. 123 00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,273 You'd like to check these out, would you? 124 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,276 Well, I'm afraid you can't. Do you know why? 125 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:33,080 Because I didn't bring you french fries like the other boys do? 126 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,450 You're a bad seed, Bundy. 127 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,753 You can't have these books because you are consistently overdue... 128 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,955 ...You never have the money to pay... 129 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:45,592 ...And looking at you now, I doubt you ever will. 130 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,427 I'll bring them back, I promise. 131 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:50,264 You always promise, but you don't follow through. 132 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,866 And that, in a nutshell, is your problem. 133 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,701 Make a promise, keep a promise. 134 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:58,338 Yeah, yeah. Bake a pie, eat a pie. 135 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:05,412 Can I have the books now? I've got a book report due tomorrow. 136 00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,547 You may take just one book. 137 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,851 Hey, be fair. Can you eat just one pig? 138 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,625 You're a horrible little boy. 139 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,194 You'll never amount to a hill of beans. 140 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,996 And I wish that on you, Bundy: 141 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,233 To be the failure you deserve. 142 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,469 And take that hand out of your pants. It's a filthy little habit. 143 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:35,375 Now, I'm going to let you have The Little Engine That Could... 144 00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:38,378 ...On the basis that you might learn something... 145 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:41,148 ...Though we both know you won't. 146 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,951 Do you think anyone can teach you anything? 147 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,787 You've just taught me that even the slightest movement... 148 00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:49,489 ...Can make a fat person sweat. 149 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,727 Three days. 150 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,530 You have three days to bring this back. 151 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,232 - Promise you'll bring it back on time. - I promise. 152 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:02,069 Oh, that means almost nothing. 153 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:06,673 But if you don't, remember, I'll be waiting for you. 154 00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:11,478 Boy... 155 00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,046 She hates you, Al. 156 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:16,083 I swear, one day I'm gonna take that bowl of sugar... 157 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,685 ...And pour the whole thing down her gas tank. 158 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,058 My life's gotta get better than this. 159 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,338 That's when I first learned that redheads can kill you. 160 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:42,876 Come on, Al, that was 30 years ago. The woman's dead. 161 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,645 No one can eat that much sugar and live. 162 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,048 Take it back. 163 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,950 Face your fears, Al. 164 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:53,420 Be a man and return The Little Engine That Could . 165 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,145 You're alive. 166 00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:24,384 And you owe us $2163. 167 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:31,391 Wait a second, you're charging me $2000... 168 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,226 ...For an overdue library book? 169 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:38,165 If you didn't ignore the overdue notices we sent you for the first ten years... 170 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,600 ...You wouldn't be in this pickle. 171 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,969 Sit down. 172 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,308 You made me a promise and you didn't keep it... 173 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,377 ...So now you must pay the piper. 174 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:55,549 For you see, even the road to ruin has its tollgate. 175 00:11:56,716 --> 00:12:01,922 Now, will you be paying in cash or food stamps? 176 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,659 Can't we make a little deal here? 177 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,260 Now, I'll tell you what... 178 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,630 ...Suppose I tape a doughnut to my driver's license... 179 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:13,033 ...And slip it to you... 180 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:18,972 ...You give it back, and the doughnut just mysteriously disappears? 181 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:24,578 Could it be that you don't have the $2000? 182 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,279 Could it be that I was correct... 183 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,816 ...When I made an educated guess that you would fail in life? 184 00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:34,821 Could it be the nails holding your chair together are from the planet Krypton? 185 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,893 Oh, look. It's after 12. 186 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,863 That's another 20 cents you owe us. 187 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:46,666 Well, it just so happens that I returned that book years ago. 188 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,102 - I'd remember if you did. - You weren't here. 189 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,404 - I'm always here. - Not that day. 190 00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:55,242 I believe that was the day of the big cake heist. 191 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,312 You were rounded up for questioning. 192 00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:02,516 Perhaps a policeman's rubber hose can get to the truth. 193 00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:06,086 Wait, I'll just go to the shelves and get that book and prove it to you. 194 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,021 We'll both go. 195 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,423 So, Mr. Bundy, what do you do for a living? 196 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:13,493 Presuming you're not still in high school. 197 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,697 Librarian hit man. 198 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,500 I thought so. 199 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,235 Well, let's see. I... 200 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,772 I know I put it here somewhere. 201 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,240 Is that a duck? 202 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,809 The book, Bundy. The book. 203 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,146 Yeah, maybe, it could be... 204 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,318 Oh, here it is! 205 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,192 The Little Engine That Could. 206 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,727 Boy, this brings back a lot of memories. 207 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,296 You planted that in there. 208 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,831 Prove it, De Groot. 209 00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:58,038 A loser? I think not. 210 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:08,215 So I paid a little fine, I apologized, that was it. 211 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,250 See, Al? You were worried over nothing. 212 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:14,054 Yep, you're right. Kids, let this be a lesson: 213 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:17,424 You can't do wrong doing right. 214 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,293 On the darker side of the news... 215 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,629 ...Surveillance cameras in the Oakwood Library... 216 00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:26,499 ...Caught the man with the most overdue book in the city's history... 217 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,902 ...As he sneaked The Little Engine That Could... 218 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:32,272 ...Back on the shelves to avoid paying the fine. 219 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,074 Watch carefully in slow motion... 220 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:37,677 ...As he distracts and almost kills the librarian... 221 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,879 ...Then slips the book back on the shelf. 222 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,648 So take a good look at this man. 223 00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:45,752 He's been identified as Chicago's own Al Bundy... 224 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:51,091 ...In this reporter's opinion, a true piece of human garbage. 225 00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,734 Dad, let me try something out on you. 226 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,804 How does this sound: Bud Smith. 227 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,941 Yeah, Mom, we were watching. 228 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,410 Didn't he look good? 229 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,280 Well, this may be the most embarrassing thing... 230 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,682 ...That has ever happened to this family. 231 00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:20,086 I mean, we've been training for something like this all our lives... 232 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,989 ...But you're never really ready. 233 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,027 Gee, let me get that. That's probably either somebody telling me... 234 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,696 ...I'm TIME Magazine's Man of the Year... 235 00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,197 ...Or it's Steve and Marcie. 236 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,469 Hi, Steve and Marcie. What's new? 237 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:40,040 Weren't my property values low enough? 238 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:43,476 I'm glad you got caught, Al. 239 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,945 Oh, I think we all are, Marce. 240 00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:48,682 You serve as an example for all our young readers... 241 00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:51,618 ...Showing them they must be book smart, not book cheats... 242 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,720 ...That the hand of justice will triumph... 243 00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:56,790 ...Even if it must reach down to the very bowels of the earth-- 244 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:06,666 It was Steve and Marcie, Peg. 245 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:11,871 Gee, Al, do you think this means you'll be on America's Most Wanted? 246 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,775 Why couldn't you have gotten caught robbing a bank... 247 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,944 ...Like Cindy's father? 248 00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:21,147 I mean, at least she can walk around with her head held high. 249 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:25,919 Yeah, Dad. As the lone carrier of the Bundy seed... 250 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:29,589 ...I foresee some lonely, seedless nights. 251 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:34,928 Family, first of all, it was entrapment, so legally I feel vindicated. 252 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,529 And second... 253 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,598 ...So what? 254 00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:42,102 I know things look dark right now, but this is gonna blow over. 255 00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,904 Who's up for a game of Yahtzee? 256 00:16:57,283 --> 00:17:01,521 Al, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about you. 257 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:05,592 I just want you to know that this hasn't changed my feelings at all. 258 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,195 Gee, that's nice of you, Peg. 259 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,398 Hey, you wanna go upstairs and fool around? 260 00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,867 No. 261 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,010 Hi, Bud. Hi, Kelly. 262 00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:27,013 - It's Jim. - And Natalie. 263 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,183 So, what's for dinner, Aunt Peggy? 264 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:33,420 It's Ruth. Ruth. 265 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,755 Now, kids... 266 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:39,826 ...Go ahead and put your bags in the closet, next to mine... 267 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,996 ...And let's try to cheer your father up. 268 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:47,901 He's a little bit down, what with that piece on Paul Harvey . 269 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,803 I used to like him. 270 00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:51,604 Oh, now, Al, don't worry. 271 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:55,241 Honey, we've weathered your pay checks, we'll weather this too. 272 00:17:56,242 --> 00:18:00,280 And, Al, I want you to know that no matter how bad it gets... 273 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,982 ...And I think I speak for the kids too... 274 00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:07,320 ...We will not wear our bags in the house. 275 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,289 Right, kids? 276 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,924 - Well... - I can't make promises. 277 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,194 There, you feel better, Al? 278 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,063 Where you going, honey? 279 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,565 I'm going to pay the fine. 280 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:22,902 It'll break us, but at least we don't have to be ashamed of who we are. 281 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,359 Hello, Mr. Bundy, I've been expecting you. 282 00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:50,730 Hey, man, don't Bundy that book. 283 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,071 You're quite famous, you know. 284 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:03,309 This week, we've had 34 overdue books returned by mail, with checks. 285 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:08,014 The children are terrified, and treat each book like fine china. 286 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,616 Mr. Bundy... 287 00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:13,319 ...You've become the Freddy Krueger of the library system. 288 00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:18,491 Miss De Groot, does the word "sooey" mean anything to you? 289 00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:22,896 Oh, children, quiet down, or you'll wind up like this man. 290 00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,232 You know, Mr. Bundy... 291 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,902 ...I've worked at this library for 44 years. 292 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:33,172 I was eligible for retirement three years ago. 293 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,674 You know why I stayed? 294 00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:37,544 You learned to eat books? 295 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,446 You're a horrible little boy. 296 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,583 I kept this job for one reason: 297 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,619 I knew I'd nail you and I did. 298 00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:52,325 Pat Garrett got Billy the Kid, and I finally got you. 299 00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:56,963 My job is over. Today is my last day. 300 00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,531 You know, it's funny... 301 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,800 ...I could have given you amnesty on the book. 302 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,336 I would have for anybody else... 303 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:07,040 ...But I always hated you. 304 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:11,177 Is it wrong to hate a nine-year-old boy? 305 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,912 No. 306 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,515 Not when that boy is you. 307 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:20,119 It's the joy of my life to see you grow up like I always knew you would: 308 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,189 A total and complete loser. 309 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,693 Today, when I get in my car... 310 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,028 ...And leave this place for the last time... 311 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,863 ...I will be whole. 312 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,500 Your shame is my gold watch. 313 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,871 So you think I'm a loser? 314 00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,975 Just because I have a stinking job that I hate... 315 00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:44,344 ...A family that doesn't respect me... 316 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:47,981 ...A whole city that curses the day I was born? 317 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:51,918 Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something: 318 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,253 Every morning when I wake up... 319 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:58,291 ...I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. 320 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,193 So I get up... 321 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:04,397 ...Have my watered-down Tang and still-frozen Pop-Tart... 322 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:08,468 ...Get in my car with no upholstery, no gas and six more payments... 323 00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:11,938 ...To fight traffic, just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes... 324 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:15,842 ...On the cloven hooves of people like you. 325 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:19,445 I'll never play football, like I thought I would. 326 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,715 I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. 327 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:27,320 And I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. 328 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,922 But I'm not a loser. 329 00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:31,791 Because, despite it all... 330 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:35,561 ...Me and every other guy who will never be what he wanted to be... 331 00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:38,331 ...Are still out there being what we don't wanna be... 332 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:41,401 ...40 hours a week, for life. 333 00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:44,103 And the fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth... 334 00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:46,339 ...You pudding of a woman... 335 00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:49,108 ...Makes me a winner. 336 00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:58,851 No, Mr. Bundy... 337 00:21:59,052 --> 00:22:01,287 ...That's what makes you a loser. 338 00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:05,425 You see, you could have made something of your life, I suppose... 339 00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:07,493 ...But you never followed through. 340 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,862 That's always been your problem. 341 00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:14,567 Like I always told you: Make a promise, keep a promise. 342 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:17,103 And maybe if you did that just once... 343 00:22:17,270 --> 00:22:18,738 ...You'd be a winner. 344 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,607 Thank you, Miss De Groot. 345 00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:24,877 As a matter of fact, I'm going to start keeping promises right now. 346 00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:28,581 - You won't. - Yes, I will. 27410

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