All language subtitles for MIo 245

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Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Erika.

I'm a slave to this vagina.

- Join the fucking club.
- Hmm.

I think all this gum-chewing
is giving me TMJ.

Oh, please.

My jaw's still sore
from all the dick I sucked

in Laguna last weekend.

You know,
I kind of thought this job

was gonna be a little bit more
intellectually stimulating.

Oh, you're serious.

But I, like,
seriously need the money,

so I guess
beggars can't be choosers.

Wait, wait, wait.

- You don't have a trust fund?
- Huh?

What are you, an orphan?

Hmm.

Oh, shit.
Vikktor, twelve o'clock.

Elliot.

Erika would like to see you
in her office.

Me?

Well, you know
I hate criticism,

especially when it's accurate.

Art these days is all about
more noise, more commotion,

otherwise you might as well
be zombie-scrolling TikTok.

It's so
"my cock's bigger than yours"

and it's so fucking boring.

And I'm bored. I'm bored. Bye.

Ugh, sorry about that.

Oh, no problem.

Elliot.

Yes.

How long have you been
working for me now?

A little over a week, I think.

Wow.
That long already.

And how are you liking it here?

- I love it.
- Oh.

- I see you've signed your NDA.
- Hmm?

In your application packet.

Yep. Yes. Uh-huh.

Well, we all think you're doing
an excellent job here.

Oh, great.

But...

There is... There is something
I need to speak with you about.

I wouldn't want you to take this
the wrong way.

but the way
you've been looking at me

has been making me
feel uncomfortable.

What?

Don't pretend you haven't
been flirting with me, Elliot.

And it is entirely inappropriate
in the workplace.

Oh, my God.

I am so sorry.

I, um...

I don't even know
what I've been doing, exactly,

but I promise, whatever it is,
I-I will stop immediately.

As long as we're really
on the same page about that.

I would love to be
on the same page. Yes.

Okay. Oh, gosh.

Life... so fucking short.
Don't you think?

Do you have a girlfriend?

What? I'm sorry. I--

Um, aren't you not supposed
to ask questions like that?

I'm not.

Have I offended you?

No. No.

I just...

do... have a girlfriend.

Good. That helps.

You wouldn't get weird then.

Weird?

If we fucked.

So your relationship
with your former employer

was initiated by her?

And you say it was primarily
sexual in nature?

Uh-huh.

- What's that?
- Yes.

- Am I a suspect here?
- Depends.

Elliot, look. I realize
it's been a long night,

but we really need you
to tell us the whole story.

Okay. Yeah. I know. Um...

It started a couple months ago,
when I was fresh out of school.

I was broke,
and in desperate need of a job.

Sex and sexuality
are central to my work

because as an artist
I'm-- I'm seeking pure truth.

You know, what lurks beneath
the facades people hide behind.

What are you watching?

It's for my interview
this afternoon.

What interview?

With her. Erika Tracy.

I'm interviewing to be
her assistant at her studio.

You think her boobs are real?

When you fuck someone,
even a one-night stand,

you're physically
and emotionally naked.

There's no bullshit,
no presentation.

That person knows you
better than your mother

or your best friend ever will.

She's so good with words, right?

- She looks kind of evil.
- I know.

Apparently, the rumor is that

she, like,
fucked Vincent Gallo

at The Brown Bunny premiere
in New York when she was 18.

Is it embarrassing
that I think that's cool?

Only if you care
that that's embarrassing.

Everyone has a persona
they put on in public.

But during sex,

your most intimate,
primal self is revealed.

That's what turns me on
creatively.

Okay, remind me
what the difference is

between this and porn.

You know, lighting, context.

Right.

So does this mean
that you're gonna

pay your share of the rent
for a change?

Uh, I mean I have to get
the job first, but I hope so.

Yeah. Me too. I'm tired
of supporting your lazy ass.

Did you eat
my fucking yogurt again?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'll get you more. I promise.

- Activia.
- The green kind.

I know.

You got this, man.

Hi. I'm here
for my 3:30 interview.

Elliot?

Should I give this to you
or sh--

Sh-- Should I...

Unless you'd rather stand
for the entire interview.

No. No.

Oh, sorry. Here you go.

So. Tell me
a little bit about yourself.

Well, I'm--
My name's Elliot. Um...

I graduated from UCLA
with a BFA in New Media--

That is all stuff
in that resume, though.

- Why do you want to work here?
- Oh, well, I love your work.

My early stuff
or my recent work?

Uh... honestly, both.

Contemporary art is a scam,
you know that, right?

Uh... Uh-huh.

The real art
is convincing people

you're making something
meaningful and complex,

when it's really just
arbitrary masturbation.

I'm currently working on
a photographic series

of nude men
putting on make-up.

You should...
You should pose for me.

Oh!

That's so flatter-- No, no, no.
I couldn't.

- No, it's not really my thing.
- Are you ashamed of your body?

Oh, no. I wouldn't say that.
I just--

You look bad without clothes on.

No, I look fine
without clothes on.

- I don't know about that either.
- Oh, is your dick a little--

- No, it's just not my thing.
- It's okay.

- No, I don't know why--
- It's fine, if it is.

No. My-- It's not my--
No, my dic--

Oh! Sorry.
I don't mean to say "dick."

That's a rude thing
to say in an interview.

Oh, my God.

Calm down.
I am fucking with you. Wow.

I would never say anything
that inappropriate.

You--
Okay. Okay.

The, uh, door has been open
the entire time

if you haven't noticed,
as per the woke police, so...

Feel free to run away any time.

Um... No.

- I'm good.
- Yeah.

Can never be too careful.

It's a good thing you have
a sense of humor though,

'cause otherwise,
this is definitely

not the place for you.

Yeah. So, I'm--

I'm getting that,
yeah.

Okay, you're hired.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Holy sh-- Wow.

Yeah, this was just a formality.

- Oh, my God.
- But, you just--

You need to just... loosen up.
You're very tightly wound.

And a little loud.

Uh, yeah. No problem.
I can 100% do that.

All right.

- Bye-bye.
- Is it-- Okay.

Um... I-- Oh, I-- Uh, thanks.

Thank you. Honestly.

So Erika began grooming you
the day that you met her?

"Grooming" is kind of
a loaded word.

I mean, our relationship
was 100% consensual,

and, I mean, the attraction
was definitely mutual.

Plus, she was only 14 1/2 years
older than I was.

Erika was your employer, though.

Yes. Yeah, but, in a weird way,
that dynamic is kind of what...

what made it so hot.

I mean, it was--
you know, it was forbidden.

It was...
against society's rules.

So are you saying
you didn't find it suspicious

that out of
all the qualified applicants,

Erika hired you for the position
right on the spot?

How awesome is that?
My first post-college job!

Awesome. You're
a pretentious artist's peon.

Well, Erika's actually
not pretentious at all.

She's really cool and...

What are you studying?

My neuropharmacology exam
is this Friday.

What?

I thought maybe we could
have some celebration sex.

We just had sex 11 days ago.

Unlike some people,
I've got actual work to do

and I can't accomplish anything

with you constantly draining
my chi energy.

- Come on, Doctor. Please?
- You're a sex addict.

Sex addiction's a myth.
I read it on the Internet.

Oh, Elliot.

I want you so bad.

Please fuck my brains out...

...with your legendary,
rock-hard...

You know, because of you,

I've been masturbating
a lot more than usual.

And, uh, I think
I'm getting claw hand.

- Is that the medical term?
- Yep. I Googled it.

Well, luckily,
that's why God invented porn.

So women like me
can make the world go round

while you men jerk off.

You precocious geniuses
all know how to chew gum, yes?

Fantastic.

You're going to chew each piece
until it is soft and juicy

and you are going to stick
it on this canvas

in the clearly demarcated areas.

And no matter what,
do not go outside of the lines.

Got it?

What are you wait for?
Start chewing.

What an insufferable cunt.

Sorry.

Welcome to the hipster
sweatshop. I'm Zap.

- Zach?
- Zap. Like a raygun.

- Oh. Cool. Yeah. Elliot.
- Mmm.

Sorry. It's just my first day.
I'm a little nervous.

What for?

We're just mindless cows
chewing cud in a pasture.

So, uh, you're an artist too?

I do a pornographic blog

about a semi-fictional G-chat
conversation I'm having

with a priest I have never met
that lives in Mexico City.

- You?
- Uh...

I'm contemplating
starting a podcast.

- Ah.
- Yeah.

I have a very, like,
active imagination.

You know?

You think Erika's hot?

Uh, I guess.

Do you?

She's a fucking goddess.

But she has a real vadge though,
which is where I draw the line.

But I know someone
who has had sex with someone

who was in an orgy
with her once.

- Really? An orgy?
- Uh-huh.

Whoa.

- You never been in one, huh?
- No, I haven't. Have you?

This morning.

Wow. So you're... pan then,
or I guess--

No, Elliot.

I am fucking gay.

None of this no-label
amorphous bullshit for me.

- You?
- Well, I have a girlfriend.

But I definitely feel identified
with the... the queer community.

You ever suck a dick?

No, I haven't.

Well, look at that.
You're straight.

- Oh, is that what it is?
- Elliot.

Oh, my God. Sorry.
The gum hit the back of my--

Are you okay?

Great. Do you have a car?

- Yep.
- I need you to follow me home,

'cause there's something
I need you to move for me.

Put your number in here.
I'll text you the address.

Are you coming, or--?

- Hello. Elliot.
- Sorry. Yes. No, I can-- Yeah.

Tip it. Lift it up.

Good. Now just be careful.

I paid a small fortune
for that thing.

Just... careful.

All right. Uh...

Just on the ground over there.

- Sorry? Oh.
- Yeah.

I could have done it myself, but
I don't do manual labor, so--

Yeah.

Mmm.

- What do you think?
- Of?

- The--
- Oh, I, uh, like it.

Why?

It's very... succinct.

Succinct.

I paid 20 thousand dollars
for that,

and that's the best thing
you can come up with?

Why'd you buy it anyway?

Yesterday you said contemporary
art's, what, a scam?

I don't know,
I just say bullshit sometimes

to see if anyone's listening.

I'm gonna have a Spindrift.
You want one?

Uh, yeah, a Spindrift
sounds great. Thanks.

My issue
with art today is that

people care more about the
celebrity status of the artist

than the work itself,

so then the actual art
becomes just

a trace element
of the trajectory of fame.

Why'd you become an artist
anyway?

How much time do you have?

You're the one paying me.

- Not much, though, right?
- No.

Okay, good. Sit.

Here.

- Oh, no, thanks.
- Oh, just have one.

Boys your age look so hot
with a cigarette.

You should have one.
Trust me.

Have you read Harold Robbins?

- Uh, sorry, who?
- Harold Ro-- Oh, God.

He's as much a part
of the Sexual Revolution

as the pill or Playboy.

I found that

stashed in my mother's
nightstand when I was a kid,

and it literally
changed my life.

- Really?
- Mmm.

It introduced me to unbridled
Helmut Newton-style hedonism.

Inspired me to become a good,
sexually-liberated citizen.

Unlike your uptight generation,
by the way.

Oh. What do you mean?

I read an article the other day.

It said 30% of guys your age

haven't had intercourse
in a year.

They'd rather watch porn
or play fucking video games.

- It's complicated.
- Complicated?

Gen Z's all about FOMO,

and yet you're willing
to miss out

on the sexual prime
of your life?

I think my peers
have not been well-served

growing up in a time where
nothing feels safe or okay.

And since our formative years
were spent

lacking in-person socialization,

it's challenging for some
to make eye-contact,

let alone have sex.

But what is
with this bummer veil

cast over everything
fun or exciting?

Not to mention the dickbags
on TikTok who are like,

"Don't hold hands in front of
me. I didn't consent to that."

Well, I, uh,

a lot of zillenials
had parents and teachers

who would completely
remove them from anything

that made them
feel uncomfortable so...

Being outside your comfort zone
is the whole fucking point!

How else do you gonna learn
from your mistakes and grow?

Sure, people should make
informed decisions

and not get AIDS or pregnant
or whatever,

but sex is everything.

It forges us as human beings.

I would not be the person
I am today

without my carnal experiences.

Good, bad, men, women, "other."

Your time is now, kids,
you know? Get it while you can.

Mmm-hmm.

- Sorry. I'm rambling.
- Nope!

It's just retro sex negativity
gets me so fucking worked up.

No, I to-- I, uh...
I totally get it.

Oh, fuck. I have a Zoom thing
in five minutes.

Oh, uh...

You can find your way back
to the studio, right?

Uh, yeah, of course.
Thank you.

- Oh, borrow it.
- Really?

Yeah. Take it.

Okay, cool.

Your entire generation
is a bunch of

whiny, repressed weaklings.

Yeah.

You're all dying to fuck,

but you're too chickenshit
to admit it, aren't you?

- Uh-huh.
- Aren't you?

Yeah. Yeah.

- Aren't you?
- Uh-huh.

Aren't you?

- Yes. Yes.
- Aren't you?

- Aren't you?
- Yes.

Aren't you? Aren't you?

Aren't you? Aren't you?
I said, "Aren't you?"

After Erika loaned you the book,
then what happened?

Well, she kind of just...
left me hanging.

How so?

She was giving me
the silent treatment all week.

I mean, so much so that
I thought any spark we had

was just my imagination.

- What a colossal cocktease.
- I know! Right?

I mean, it is probably
for the best.

I do have a girlfriend.

- But--
- Oh! Oh, that's right. I forgot.

Look.

Does she even like you?

Well, I mean--
I don't know. She ki--

She treats me like shit
most of the time.

I don't know. You know--
Minerva and I, on paper,

doesn't really make sense.
She's in medical school.

She's super ambitious,
she's focused.

- And, you know, I'm just...
- Utterly lost and adrift?

I was gonna say
"figuring my shit out" but...

- Potato, po-tah-to.
- Yeah.

Also, she doesn't really
like sex.

Yeah. Can I ask you a question?

No, I won't fuck you
to see if you like it.

In a relationship, you know,

do you think about other people
sexually?

I'm gay. We basically
invented non-monogamy.

And anal.

I'm a slave to this vagina.

If we fucked.

If you're not interested,
that's actually-- that's fine.

I don't really care.

It's probably a bad idea anyway.

I'm not sure I heard you right.

So you are interested then?

You wouldn't freak out and make
working together impossible?

No, I wouldn't freak out.
Would you freak out?

- No. Not at all.
- Okay.

Why don't you
close that door for me?

That's better.

Come over here so
I can take a better look at you.

Oh, don't walk.

I'd really prefer
if you crawled.

Crawl...

- No!
- Yes.

- No!
- I swear.

Why does all
the cool sex deviant stuff

always happen to you?

What are you talking about?

I don't know. Doesn't Minerva
get like super kinky sometimes?

That would be never.

She should probably
just kill herself.

I've always said that about her.

I mean, listen, me and Minerva
have our differences, yes,

but she's a good presence
in my life.

I don't know. She grounds me.

Plus, she's fuckin' hot, dude.

She's like,
what AI would generate

if you told it "total bitch."

Right. Just my type.

I don't even know
what my type is anymore.

It's like lately I'm weirded out
by the whole penis thing.

You know?

Like, is it just me, or does
having sex, fucking somebody,

it kind of feels like
you're inserting a tampon

over and over and over again?

I-I wouldn't know.

But I would venture to say
it's probably just you.

If only, like, there was
a way to have sex...

Uh-huh.

...without the whole penis thing
involved, you know?

Anyway.

When are you hooking up
with Erika again?

I don't know, dude.

Do I really want to be
Monica Lewinskying my boss?

E, she's famous.

You could be famous
by association.

Like Travis Kelce.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

God. Stop pretending
like you have a conscience.

Ooh!

Yes.

- Louder!
- I'm a whore.

- I can't hear you.
- I'm a whore!

I'm a whore!

- Louder!
- I'm a whore! I'm a whore!

- I'm a whore!
- Louder!

I'm a whore!

Holy fuck.

Oh, my God.

Whoo!

Please, please, please.

Oh, um...

- I'm not really into that.
- It's okay.

It doesn't mean you're gay.
Have you ever tried it?

- Uh...
- I'm using a ton of lube.

And you can use your safe word
if you get into trouble.

Uh...

We don't have a safe word.

Whatever. You're gonna love it.
It's gonna change your life.

Don't you trust me?

- Yeah?
- Okay.

Ready? Just breathe.

Relax. I'm gonna go
really, really slow.

That's good.

Just breathe.

Breathe. Dude, just relax.

Good.

I was in way over my head.

And it was like the more
I would hang out with Erika,

the more under her control
I became.

And how did that make you feel?

- Thankful.
- Thankful?

You said that your relationship
had a violent undercurrent.

That Erika physically abused
and humiliated you.

Listen, I understand
as an outsider

it might seem
like our relationship was a bit

I don't know, kinky or strange.

But, I mean,

these were my wildest
fantasies coming to life.

- Hey!
- Oh, God.

Is that how you always
greet people?

What?

Smiling all huge and artificial
like some cyborg cheerleader

- Want one of these?
- What is it?

It's fucking dried fruit.
I don't know.

Not papaya but one
of the other gay ones.

I'm okay, thank you.

Mmm.
What are you doing?

Um, well, I'm drafting
your press release

for the show next week.

Erika.

I left that cost report
on your desk.

Okay.

We have the meeting
with the accountant at 2:30.

Great!

- Go on.
- Right. Um...

Uh, "Tracy's work
is uncommonly visceral,

riffing on themes of bodily
and sex-- sexual excess.

Her singular ability
to blend the profane

with the deeply poetic has...

made her one of the most
essential neo-pop artists

of her generation."

You make me sound like
I know what I'm doing.

What are you talking about?

You're brilliant.

Cancel my phoner with that d-bag
from Art Forum

and, uh, meet me
in my office, okay?

Okay.

Oh, hey, Vikktor.

Don't... think
you're the only one.

- What?
- You're not the first.

You won't be the last.

Hey.

Hi. Um...

What is that?

Come. Come here.

Yeah.

- Is this, uh--
- I was masturbating before work

and got so inspired.

So I recorded it
to play on a loop

as a soundtrack
for a video installation.

Oh. Okay.

- Cool.
- It's abstract, babes.

God, sometimes
you're such a philistine.

Ohh.

What's wrong?

- Come.
- I ca-- Come on.

Just sit down.

- It's nothing.
- Ohh.

Are you sure?

Can I tell you
something embarrassing?

Mm-hmm. Of course.

I think about you all the time.

Like, from the moment I wake up
till when I go to sleep,

it's like I can't
change the channel.

Well, you're my sub, so...

that's perfectly normal.

Oh, you look so adorable
when you're nervous.

Really?

You know, earlier,

when you were reading me
that thing you wrote about me?

Mm-hmm.

I felt like maybe
I was falling in love with you.

Are you serious?

No, I just said that
to fuck with you.

Do you ever think about me?

I think we have
incredible chemistry.

Mm, no. I-I mean do you
think about our relationship?

Am I more than
just a piece of ass to you?

Well, I did tell you that
I don't want a relationship.

Plus, you have--
you have a girlfriend.

I know. I'm thinking about
breaking up with her.

What? No. Why?

Because I really
just want to be with you.

Listen.

Can I let you in on a secret?

People are assholes. Okay?

They're out there pretending
to give a shit.

Nobody gives a shit. People
only care about themselves.

So if you find someone
that you care about,

who cares about you back,
that's-- that's special.

That's something you should
think twice about

- before you throw it away.
- I know but,

if what me and Minerva have
is so special,

then why am I cheating on her?

Oh, because you're like me.
You're... a sexual astronaut

just exploring the outer limits
of experience.

And fucking people gives you
a sense of identity and control.

How do you know all of this?

Well, 'cause I've been
in therapy since I was six.

- You almost done?
- Getting there.

You're supposed to say
"thank you" when I hit you.

Thank you.

Uh... You're welcome?

Uh--

- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.

Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Mmm.

Thank you. Thank you.

Are you getting close?

You just come.

I don't think I'm gonna
be able to right now.

Thank you. Oh, thank you.

- Ah?
- Thank you.

You know, uh, just try it.
I want us to come together.

Thank you. Thank you.

Mmm. Ah.

Thank you? Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Ah.

- Oh, my God.
- Ah.

- Are you getting there?
- Uh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Ah.

You're so hot, you
make me wanna do crazy things.

Oh.

- Oh.
- This is good, right?

- Oh, my God.
- So good.

Mmm.

I made you
breakfast in bed, baby.

I wanna make you breakfast
every day...

- Okay.
- ...for the rest of my life.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Have you ever thought about
having kids?

Mmm. Ohh.

- Ohh.
- Ohh.

That was insane.

Yeah.

Hello?

Why aren't you answering?
I called you three times.

I'm sorry. I didn't hear it.
I'm running.

From who?

Listen, I have an old friend
from Paris in town

and I'm busy working.

Okay...

I forgot her birthday last week,

so I need you to go over there
and fuck her

as a belated present.

What? Are you serious?

As Wolf Blitzer.

She's at the London,
expecting you at 9:00.

Tonight? I'm not--
I'm not home, Erika.

Also, I'm really sweaty.
I just--

Don't be late.

And screw her real good,
but don't let her penetrate you.

She's not that close a friend.

Oh. Her name's Yvette.

All right.

Erika. Erika!

Is this trying too hard?

You look like an assassin
in a Netflix Yakuza movie.

Is that good or bad?

What if I just wear a T-shirt?
I'm basically saying,

"Hey,
I'm casually wearing a T-shirt."

You know,
you should really stop running.

Haven't you ever heard
of jogger-face?

- No. What's that?
- It's like when you run,

and you're constantly
bouncing up and down

and it pulls all the skin on
your face away from your muscles

so you end up having
disgusting, saggy flesh

hanging off your skull.
And it's like...

...jogger-face.

So you should stop running.

Or wear a jockstrap
on your face.

God, why is it that
no random European stranger

ever flies into town to fuck me?

My life is so beige.

Hi. I'm...

Elliot?

Yeah. That's right. Elliot. Yes.

Yvette.

I'm so glad you could make it.

Come in.

Would you like some wine?

Uh, yeah. Sure.
Wine would be great.

It's a white Burgundy.

2016 Château de Beauregard.

- Oh.
- This is okay for you?

I am used to drinking Two Buck
Chuck from TJ's, so yes.

Sorry. My English.

This is great.

Well, this is a bit awkward.

Yeah. I feel like
we're in a porno or something.

What?

Uh, you know, you're, the, uh,
sexy executive

here on a business trip,

and I'm just...
the naive bellhop.

I don't know.

Anyway, Erika thought
we should meet.

She's always surrounded herself
with such interesting people.

A curator of personalities,
I like to say.

And what do you do for her,
Elliot?

Um, well, I think...

tonight,
the question really is...

what can I do for you?

What are you doing?

Whatever you want. I'm
your boy whore for the evening.

- Oh, really?
- Uh-huh.

Do you wanna slap me?

You can slap me if you want.

Do you know what "eroticism" is?

It's, uh, being turned on?

No.

Really?

Americans treat sex
like it's an animal act.

Stripped of sensuality,

of mystery.

Crawling on
your hands and knees?

Reciting this cheap,
pornographic script?

This is not erotic.

This is performance.

- Get up off the floor.
- Okay.

Sex is not something you do.

It's not?

No. It's a language.

It's a dance.

Do-Do you mind?

Very good wine.

Okay.

You need to slow down.

Mm-hmm.

Be in your body.

Be in my body.

Maybe you should just go.

What?

I'm not going to fuck you

You're not?

Never in a million years.

Did she really say
"sex is a dance?"

This is why
I fucking hate Europe.

Uh, I'm sorry. Did I fuck it up?

No. Babe, no.

It's not your fault that
she's such a fucking prude.

If she contacts you again,
no more.

She's lost her privileges.

I really don't think
we'll have to worry about that.

But okay.

Um...

Would you mind if we do this

with another one
of your friends?

I kind of like being your toy
that you pass around

and "share" I guess.

Yeah, we'll see.
Not for a while though.

- Why not?
- Mmm.

Because I said so.

All right.
I gotta get back to work.

Um...

Do you wanna
have dinner tonight?

Dinner? Like a real date?

Yeah, baby. Like a real date.

Re-- Ye- Yeah. Yeah.

- Okay.
- Yeah. That'd be nice.

- How's your girlfriend, Minnie?
- Oh, Minerva?

- That's right.
- She's all right, I guess.

- Ooh.
- It's-- It's just, um...

She's been super busy
and stressed recently.

Also, we just go through life,
you know, differently.

She's way more wrapped up
in science

and I think just
thinks art's superficial.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

- A dullard.
- Yeah, yeah.

Maybe.

You should remind her that art

cuts through the bullshit
of every single day.

It connects us
to the core emotions

that actually make us human:

ecstasy, fear, desire

Artists see things
other people don't.

Have you always
been this way, or--?

- A pretentious whore from hell?
- Ah.

Yeah. Pretty much.

You sub for your girlfriend too?

Mentally and emotionally, yes.
But I--

Uh, no. Not in the bedroom.

Yeah, sex is kind of
a minefield for me.

In what way?

Well...

Right after I was born,
my dad left.

So I was pretty much
just raised by my mom.

By the way, I'm so sorry.
Let me know if I'm boring you.

- No. Not at all.
- Okay.

Um...

all my life, I've kind of been
this curious kid,

like, living
in my own world.

But also plagued by fear
and the desire for normalcy.

But with you, I actually don't
have to make any decisions,

I've just found
this amazing freedom

in just letting go of control.

I know.

You're welcome.

- Where's your ticket?
- Oh, I didn't valet.

- I just parked on the street.
- What?

Dude. Even when I was poor,

I valeted everywhere
all the time.

- Fake it till you make it.
- Okay. Point taken.

Can you hold this for a second?

I... have to go back
to the salt mines.

Oh, you don't want me
to come over?

The opening's next week, so...

...as much as I would love to
come for the next three hours--

She gets what I mean.

I can't. I gotta work.

You don't really give a shit

what people think about you,
do you?

Why would I? Most people
are idiots and cowards. So...

Yeah, I just wish
I could stop caring so much

about other people's opinions.

Well, that's your thing.

You're the guy
who loves a spiked heel

just grinding into his back.

- That's my thing?
- Yeah.

That's the most romantic thing
anyone's ever said to me. So...

Aw. Well, you know
that's what I'm here for.

Yeah.

Good night, baby.

Night.

Erika played me like a violin.

She knew just how far
she could push me

and had me doing things
I never even dreamed of.

I mean, we were outlaws.

Just the two of us against the
oppressive, puritanical world.

Sounds like
you were obsessed with her.

Yeah. I-I was.

Sorry
about cancelling tonight.

We're kind of, uh, slammed

getting ready for the show
next week.

Oh, were we supposed to
do something? I was studying.

For-- For a change, right?

Um, is it okay if stop by?

I'm kind of
in your neighborhood.

I told you. I'm studying.

Yeah. I just sort of wanted to
talk to you about something.

Can't you do it over the phone?

Yeah. I just thought, um...

All right. Um...

I was wondering.
Have you ever...

Have I ever what?

Are you drunk or something?

I had a little bit of wine
earlier, but I'm not drunk.

I-- No.

I just... Have you ever
thought about us...

- taking a break?
- Yeah. All the time.

- Really?
- I mean, if that's what you want

it makes sense with me
being so busy and all.

So, uh, last night, I talked
to Minerva about taking a break.

You know, she seemed
pretty okay with it.

- So she dumped you, you mean.
- No, did you hear what I said?

What do you think's going on?

I heard Vikktor is freaking out
about the show

because the studio
is on life support,

and Erika has been slacking off.

- Okay.
- Rumor has it...

that she's been too busy
banging one of the assistants.

So, what do we wanna do
for lunch?

- Uh...
- Anywhere is fine.

Except I am not doing meat, soy,

dairy, gluten
or sugar this week.

- Or corn.
- You're a blast at lunch.

Elliot.

Erika would like to see you
in her office.

Now.

Hi.

Hey, uh, come on in.

Is everything all right?

Yeah, Vikktor's just on the
fucking rag again. Um, listen...

He and I were chatting,

and we are in agreement

that you and I should probably
cool it for a while.

What? Why?

The... show's right around
the corner. I-I need to focus.

I just need to eliminate any and
all unnecessary distractions.

Okay. Um...

For how long?

At least till the show is over.

Um, uh...

Really? I just--

I understand you have to
concentrate on your work.

I realize that
this is the priority. But...

What we have, us, right,
it's-- it's special, right?

Sure, but it's strictly
a sex thing.

You understand that, right?

Uh, you say sex is everything,
so...

Yeah, well, sex is everything.
It's also nothing, Elliot.

Actually, I don't have
time to discuss it right now.

So...

Thank you.

Okay.

I'm really gonna miss you.

I know.

Hello, everybody, I'm Elliot.

I'm 23.

And like a lot of people my age,

I've had conflicted and
confusing feelings about sex.

Anyway, I met a girl recently,

who... kinda rocked my world.

Sexually, you know, speaking.

And... she's changed me

in ways that I probably
can't even comprehend yet.

But sex is a drug, man.
I mean...

the highs are so intense.

They bring you to such
a euphoric out-of-body place.

It's like you leave reality
and all your troubles behind.

Which makes the lows
feel fuckin' bottomless.

Such black, hopeless despair

that will make you
do anything for another fix.

Nothing else matters.

It's like any other addiction,
I guess.

You have to learn
how to control it,

otherwise,
it ends up controlling you.

- Hello?
- Okay, I'll fuck you tonight.

But you have to bring someone
to hold your ass open for me.

What?

I said I wanna have a threesome,
but it has to happen quick.

Are you in or are you out?

Uh, no. I-I-- I'm in.

Okay. Meet me at my place
at 9:00.

With a friend.

Who is hot.

What?

How long have we been
best friends?

You're not paying rent again?

What if Erika's not into me?

Oh, no. Dude, I already
sent her a pic. Don't worry.

- What? Which one?
- This one.

No! I look like a garden gnome
in this picture!

- No! You look so cute! My God.
- What'd she say?

Uh... She...

Like, "she'll do."

Oh, I need to be
way more drunk.

I know.
Me too, me too, me too.

Do you ever fake orgasms?

Well, I'm a dude.

So...

My hair looks like
a giant tarantula's

crawling out of my skull!

Wait, um...

Does this mean, like,
we're-- you and me are gonna...

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Maybe.

I've never had
a threesome before. Have you?

Freshman year, I messed around
with that lesbian couple,

Mutt and Jeff.
Does that count?

Eww, really?

Well I bowed out because
they were both on their periods.

- Why are you telling me this?
- I know.

It's disgusting.

Okay, so, just full disclosure,

okay, I haven't had, like, sex
in a while.

What's a while?

I don't know. Like, since Felix.

So, like,
probably a year or something?

A year! Apple?

- Wha--?
- I'm so sorry. Are you--?

Why are you reacting like I just
told you I had a brain tumor?

Stop.

He-ey.

Hi, guys. Come in.

Okay.

Can I get you anything?

- No, I think we're okay, thanks.
- Mmm.

You can have a seat.
If you'd like.

- Okay. Mmm.
- Yeah.

I like your friend.
You're very hot.

- Oh, thank you.
- She's got nice tits too.

- Elliot!
- It's okay. It's okay.

May I?

Okay.

Mmm.

- Beautiful.
- Thank you.

Hmm.

Mmm.

So, you're gay.

What? No. No.

- Oh.
- Mm-mmm.

Get a clue.

Well, you're a very good kisser.
Gentle.

Not like Elliot. Elliot kisses
with his mouth wide open,

like he's just trying to
suck the whole world in.

No, I don't.

No, I'm not saying
that's a bad thing.

That's just how you kiss.

Why don't you just show Apple?
Why don't you demonstrate?

- What?
- Yeah.

- No.
- Um...

I ju-

Okay, um... yeah.

Um...

Sorry.

Mm.

I--

Should we follow her?

- Uh, who?
- Erika.

- Uh, yeah.
- Right? Right?

Yeah. Have you--
I mean, me too?

- No, of course.
- Oh. Did you-- Okay.

Uh, hmm.

Wow. You guys really
took your time.

Okay, here's
what's gonna happen.

Elliot, take your clothes off.
Apple, get on the bed.

Now!

- Hand.
- What?

- Turn around.
- Oh.

Ow. The cuffs are hurting me.

Quit fucking whining.

Okay.

You are gonna sit here
like a good little pervert

and watch
while I fuck your friend.

Hmm.

This sucks.
The cuffs are hurting my wrists.

I think Elliot
wants to be untied.

- No, he's fine.
- I'm not fine. I'm so bored.

Oh, my God.
Shut the fuck up!

I told you to stop whining.

Wouldn't it be fun
if you fucked me too?

- No.
- Why?

Because
you're a greedy little slut

and you can't always get
what you want.

You. Come here.

Blindfold him.

- Really?!
- Ugh, yes!

Apple, this is all
part of the game.

And Elliot loves this.
He thinks it's wonderful.

No, I do--

Mmm.

- Ah.
- Mmm.

- Erika, stop.
- Oh!

- This isn't funny anymore.
- Oh! God!

Fine. You wanna get fucked...

...you can get fucked.

- Put this on.
- Uh, um...

Mmm.

Okay. Okay. Come on.

Ow, fuck, did you just bite
my fuckin' lip?

This is-- Apple, just stop.
I'm so sorry.

This was such a fuckin' stupid
crazy fuckin' idea.

Why? Are-- Are you grossed out
by me or something?

What? No.
What are you talking about?

You-- You'll fuck anyone
and everyone,

but I'm not good enough for you?

No, Apple, where is this
coming from? Who are you?

I'm so-- I just-- Please,
just wait a second, okay?

- No, no. Don't touch me.
- I'm sorry.

I don't know why
I even came here.

I can't believe I let you
talk me into this!

Apple, I didn't know
it was gonna be--

I'm so sorry. Don't go. Please!

So, what's happening right now
is very special.

You both are entering
into what's known as sub-space.

See, you, Apple and I just...

we went through something
very intense together.

And you're having
extreme emotional reactions.

See, this is what S&M
is all about.

Are you fucking crazy?
Why are you doing this?

- Because you like it, baby.
- I don't like it!

I don't even know if I like you!

- Okay. Whatever.
- I mean--

- Apple, Apple, just one second.
- No. No!

Who do you think you are?

You just can't fuckin' toy
with people's emotions

for your own sick game,
you know?

Go ahead. Run away
like a scared little boy.

You'll be back.

Uh, actually, sir, can we, um...

Can we make one more stop?

Oh.

Did you ever love me?

Uh, what are you doing here?

I'm trying to talk to you.

But, we're not together anymore.

No, I know. But we need to talk.

It's late,
and you're obviously wasted.

Uh, yeah.

Seriously, Elliot.
Let's not do this right now.

It's never a good time for you.

Why were you such
a shitty fuckin' girlfriend?

Excuse me?

You never wanted to hang out
or have sex with me.

Which is basically
the whole point

of being in a relationship.

You knew exactly what
you signed up for.

I told you from
the very beginning

that until I finish my postdoc,
my work comes first--

Don't you think, because we're
both so emotionally stunted

and suck at communicating,
that actually,

we're, I don't know,
maybe perfect for each other?

What? Are you fucking kidding me
right now?

- Can I come in?
- No.

Please. Just let me come in.

I'm not gonna try to
have sex with you or anything.

- Elliot, just--
- I'm not gonna try and fuck you.

- Elliot, go home!
- Please.

Babe?
What the fuck is going on?

Oh.

I was totally
circling the drain.

My two
most important relationships,

my girlfriend,
and my best friend,

were trashed beyond repair.

A-and I really just had
no one to blame but myself.

You didn't blame Erika?
Considering how she treated you?

Seems like you would be
angry or resentful.

Sure, Erica led me down
the path of my destruction,

but at the end of the day,
everything I did

was always my choice.

I mean, you wanna know
the sickest part?

It's the fact that even though
all of this happened,

I still wanted to be with her.

This is the kind of
fucked up, intense,

state of mind I was in.

Uh, hey, man, I really can't
thank you enough, I mean, I-I,

I swear to you, I'll be
out of here as soon as I can,

I already asked my mom
for a loan.

Oh, that's great,

because you're already
kinda cramping my style.

- Oh.
- You know, I have a hook up

coming over

- in about half an hour.
- Okay.

- So-- Mm-hmm.
- Oh! Okay. Um...

Well, I can grab a cup of coffee
or something.

Honestly, I don't really care
what you do

as long as you're not here.

How long, do you think?

It's gotta be a quickie 'cause
I've a real date later tonight.

Okay. Yeah.

Is it too much to ask
to take a shower before?

- Eh, just, make it fast.
- Okay.

Mm-hmm.

- You'll find it-- Yeah.
- Sorry, sorry.

Also, can you
use the guest towel?

It's the one
that says "guest" on it.

Copy.

Things were looking very bleak.

It definitely seemed like
I'd hit rock bottom.

But I just had no idea

how much worse
my life was gonna become.

Ugh. That woman over there
looks like a foot.

I'm fucking starving.

- I'm sorry, do you mind?
- Uh, don't.

Why?

Grabbing food off of a tray
is disgusting.

Yeah, except
I haven't eaten lunch.

I think you're gonna love it,
you're one of the first people

- I thought of when Erika was...
- Whoa. Oh, my God.

You're Laquisha Foxx.

- my name is...
- But he's an assistant.

What you have to do
is see Erika's newest work.

It, it's everything.
It's dangerous.

I don't know.
I'm not sure I get it.

It's like Pornhub meets
the bottom of our son's sneaker.

Hon. Don't be a vulgarian.

Well then, please, Erika.
Enlighten us.

What does it all mean?

Fuck if I know. It means money
in my bank account, guys.

- Oh!
- That's all I care about.

Thank you.

Oh! Oh, Elliot.
Wait one second. Elliot!

Elliot.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Oh, my god. There you are.

I've been looking for you
literally everywhere.

Guys, this is Elliot.

Elliot, meet my very good
friends from New York,

the Bruces.

Hi. Hi, hi. Hello,
hi, nice to meet you.

- Hello, Elliot.
- Okay, guys, have fun. Go roam.

Drink for free,
buy everything, thank you.

Thank fucking God,

I thought my face was gonna
crack off from fake smiling.

Hi! Oh...

Okay. I'm sorry
about the other night.

I think I was,

I think I was more stressed
about the show than I thought

and, um, I'm sorry.

Thank you...

But it's going
really well, right?

I feel like
it's going really well.

- Yep. Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.

This is what I want to do.

I want you to go
to the ladies' room.

I want you to wait
in the furthest stall

for three minutes.

And then I'm gonna come in
and fuck you with this dildo.

No. Are you drunk? No.

Wha--?
Don't be a buzzkill;

it's gonna be fun.

And also, this is technically
a work-related event, so...

- I am paying you.
- Mm-hmm.

So you have to do what I say.

I mean, that's, like, gotta be
sexual harassment or something?

Oh, aww.

Come on, baby.

Please?

Thing is, that I'm just,

I'm really, really wet
just thinking about it, so.

Erika?

Erika.

I'd like to introduce you
to Margaret Epstein. From MoMA.

Wow, yes. It is such a pleasure.

We-- We've chatted on the phone
but never in person.

Really, Erika, I am such a fan.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

You are more than an artist.

You are a psychologist
of the human condition.

You know what?

I absolutely agree with you.

Right?

Right?

The new work, though.

- Yes.
- I must say.

I'm not so sure it's up to par.

Well, I... I...

do always strive to...
break new ground creatively.

- Erika never plays it safe.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.

And she never repeats herself.
That's what makes her iconic.

Hmm.

And I'm going to
show you a piece

that illustrates that
right over here.

Come this way. Come this way.

Even more than an artist,
I sort of think of myself

as a... psychologist
of the human condition.

You know?

Elliot.

Erika?

I don't even wanna know

what you're doing
in the women's bathroom, okay?

- You need to get...
- Oh, my God.

- your shit together.
- Yeah.

And you gotta come with me.
Right now. Let's go. Come on.

Is that you?

Elliot.

You gotta
think about this, okay?

Just think it through.
Think it through.

Oh, my God.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Uh... I'm sorry, sir,
can I help you?

What?

Are you joking?

Erika, that video
was just supposed to be for--

Ours.
That was supposed to be for us.

I trusted you with that

and then you go and put it
in your show without my consent.

Sorry, sir,
you seem to be quite drunk.

I don't know if you--
if you need any assistance.

I get that you've done
fucked up shit before, right?

But this on a whole new level
of fucked up-ness.

Hey, excuse me. What's, uh--

- Something, is something wrong?
- Yeah, I don't know.

This man seems to be having
some sort of psychotic episode.

Erika, you can't.

You cannot just act like
some kind of god up in the sky

and none of your actions,

you know,
have any ramifications.

- You can't just do that.
- Sir? Sir.

Please, Erika.
No, Vikktor, stop.

- Talk to me, Erika.
- Sir.

He's on drugs,
you need to get him out of here.

- Go fuck yourself.
- Hey, hey.

- Go fuck yourself.
- All right. Hey!

Fuck you, Erika.

- Go fuck yourself!
- Go!

Get the fuck outta here!

Well.

That... that was entertaining.

Never a dull moment. Right?

Okay.

What was I saying?

"Is Erika Tracy over?"

As if the art on display
last night

was not proof enough

that this tired old whore
is done-zo,

an enraged former boy toy--
That's you--

exploded in her face
at her own party.

Say buh-bye, bee-atch.

That's not even the worst one,
you should read

- what the fucking Times said.
- Yeah, no. I get it. I get it.

I drank a little bit
too much last night.

Didn't we all?
After you left,

I gave a fat guy half
a hand job in the parking lot.

Aw, fuck.

- What?
- Ah, Vikktor fired me.

Mm.

Are you surprised?

I guess not.

Well, don't feel too special.

With Erika officially past
her sell-by date,

I think it's safe to say

we are all
on the chopping block.

Thank God I don't really need
to work anyway.

Oh, head's up. I am having a
Grindr party-slash-orgy tonight,

so you might wanna find
somewhere else to sleep.

How long's the man jamboree
gonna last this time?

All weekend.

Okay.

I had nowhere left to go.

I had no job.

No prospects.

I was at the end of my rope.

Okay, okay! I'm leaving.

Fuck.

Hello?

Finally. God, what took you
so fucking long?

Come on, get in here.

Don't fucking stand there
like a halfwit.

I hate drinking alone.

It's so traj.

So look, come here. Just get--

I wanna propose a toast.

To the bitter end...

...of Erika Tracy.

What?

Oh, did you not hear?

The show was a fucking disaster.

I'm done, finito.

Terminated.
They fucking hate me.

They hate me.
They hate me.

So now, we have to toast,
we have to celebrate.

Will you celebrate with me?

Come on. Come on!

Mm!

Yeah. Here,
have more, this helps.

Come on--

No, it's good, it's good,
it's good, it's good, it's good,

Okay?

Mm-hmm. Mm!

You want some more?

- Mm-mm.
- You want some more?

- Just like a little bit more?
- No, Erika--

- Little bit, bah, bah, bah!
- Stop--

Oh!

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Okay. Here's what I wanna do.

You come with me.

Here's what you're gonna do.
You're gonna,

um, take all
your fucking clothes off.

Take your clothes off.

What?

You're gonna take
all your clothes off.

You take your clothes off,
then you put this on.

- I don't want to take my...
- Take all your clothes off!

Come on! Let's go!

- Erika, I don't want...
- Just fucking do it!

Jesus fuck!

And into that.
That's great.

Yes.

Yes.

Come on. We don't have
all night. Let's go!

Okay. You're gonna love this.

This is so good,
I have something so good.

Okay.

This is so--

Okay, you can sit down here.

You sit, sit there.

You go like that...

Like... I go...

Oh, you're so pretty!

- What are you doing?
- Shush, shush, shush!

No, no questions. Oh.

Hi. Hi.

Mm!

Okay.

Here's what I'm gonna do.

Tonight...

...you...

...are gonna be me.

And I am gonna fuck you.

And then
I will be fucking myself.

Literally this time.

- So I get to finally--
- No, I'm...

- I'm not doing that.
- No, no, no.

Sh, sh, sh. Come on, come on.
No, no, no, no.

- No, no, no!
- I don't wanna do that.

No, come on, sit.

- Please stop.
- Just--

- Oh, you don't wanna fuck me?
- No.

Come on. Oh, come on.

- Come on, come on, come on.
- This isn't funny.

- Come on, come on, oh...
- Stop.

- Come on.
- Stop it.

Are you fucking crazy?

Come on!

I just told you
what I want you to do.

Can you just do it for me?

Can you just do
what I asked you to do?

Erika, what is wrong with you?

What the fu--
Are you fucking insane?

Stop! This is not fun anymore.

- Erika, listen to me.
- You do it!

- Right no. No.
- Do it!

- Will you-- Erika, stop!
- Ow!

No.

Do not hit me!

And that's the last thing
I remember.

So you hit her?

No.

What? No, I didn't hit her.

She was attacking me.
I was just defending myself.

I mean, I'd never
seen Erika like this.

So unhinged.
Like she'd nothing left to lose.

You said she was intoxicated
when you arrived.

Y-Yeah, I mean, she was
definitely fucked up,

but I-I, I mean,

you know, she was really upset
about the show tanking

so, I mean, I don't know
if she was on anything

besides alcohol, but...

You were
under the influence as well.

I had a few glasses
of champagne, but that was it.

You said earlier
you blacked out.

Um, well,
I hadn't eaten all day.

I guess that the alcohol
was hitting me,

you know,
a little bit harder than usual.

So let me get this straight--

You drove to Erika's house.

You got drunk.

You got in a violent
physical altercation with her.

And then you conveniently
blacked out

and can't account for anything

that happened
for the rest of the night?

I didn't conveniently black out.

Yeah. If you say so.

After you
regained consciousness,

then what happened?

Erika?

Erika.

Stop fucking around, Erika.
Where are you?

Fuck.

Fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Erika.

W-Wait... Wake up, wake up.

Erika, Erika. Wake up.

Wake up, Erika. Erika, wake up!

Erika! Come on,
stop fucking with me.

Come on. Wake up, wake up,
wake up, wake up.

Come on, come on.

Hi. Uh, h-hello.
My, uh... my friend,

she... fell into the pool.
Uh, there was an accident, she--

I tried to give her
mouth-to-mouth, but I think--

Uh, ten thousand ten
Wonderland Terrace, yes.

Um... okay, y-yeah.
But, p-please hurry.

Okay. Okay.

Erika?

Erika?

And then her body
miraculously disappeared?

I don't know, I mean,

I went inside the house
for like 60 seconds to call 911.

How long
were you unconscious?

I don't remember!

But I didn't kill her,
I know that for sure.

Is there anyone you can think of
that may have wanted Erika dead?

She wasn't
universally loved, but...

I can't think of anyone
she pissed off enough

to want her murdered.

I don't know. I can't say
for sure, though. I...

I honestly didn't know her
that well.

So, what happens now?

Well, with no body,
there's no evidence, so...

...you're free to go.

What?

I can just leave?

For now.

But don't go far.

So how many
days has it been now?

Uh, five.

Uh, yeah, the police say
the longer that she's missing,

the less likely it is
that she's alive.

Do you think
I need to get a lawyer?

I mean, not that I can
afford one, but...

Well, let's stay optimistic
for the time being.

Speaking of.

Seems like the clickbait drama

has restored
Erika's market value,

at the very least.

What?

Every one of her pieces

from her shitty
train wreck show sold out.

So I guess
it's true what they say:

"An artist
is worth more dead than alive."

I mean...

Is it just me, or is that
so unbelievably fucked up?

Welcome
to the sad reality of now.

I'm gonna go for a run.
You want me to get you anything

- while I'm out?
- No, um, I'm good.

Text me if you change your mind.

Okay.

- You expecting a package?
- No.

Elliot?

It's for you.

I'll give you two a minute.

Hi.

So...

...what you're trying
to say is,

is that it's all
Vikktor's fault?

No. No, no, no, no.
Definitely not.

I-I take full responsibility
for my part in this, but--

After the show bombed...
the brand took a huge hit.

We had to do something.

But use me in a plot

to fake your own death
for publicity?

I understand
why you're upset. I do.

Which is why I'm here
apologizing in person.

And as I told you,
I already cleared

everything up with the police.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Thanks for that.

And I'm sorry.
I'm truly, truly sorry.

But the studio
was hemorrhaging money.

And, and when Vikktor came up

with this whole
cockamamie scheme, I--

I didn't know what else to do.

Did you roofie me?

I had to.

For the plan to work, you
had to be just a little foggier

than usual, and we needed time.

You know,
to pull off the operation.

It was your usual just...

...spy movie stuff.

I mean, to be honest,
the hardest part

was forcing myself
not to breathe or laugh

when you were
giving me mouth-to-mouth.

And then Vikktor
and I waited outside

to make sure you called 911.

And the rest is history.

Why me?

Well, you gave us a...

I mean with your whole...

...meltdown at the opening,

it was
a pretty convenient motive.

You know? And plus,

you're the most
gullible/trustworthy of my--

Most of my friends would just
run away, not even call 911.

I don't know what to say.

I mean...

I'm happy you're alive.

But I'm so unbelievably angry
at the same time.

I mean,
I was just living my life.

Minding my own business,
and then you come along,

and before I even know
what's happening,

I'm a sex slave
to a complete fucking sociopath,

and being interrogated
by the cops for murder.

- That's fair.
- It's not fucking fair, Erika!

It's fucked up!

Do you not understand
what you've done?

I've lost everything
because of you.

I mean, Erika,

I had real
fucking feelings for you

and you destroyed
my entire fucking life.

Well, I know
you're upset right now,

but you need to trust me,

as somebody who has
come back from the dead

literally and figuratively,
more than once,

your life is not destroyed.

In fact...
there's a silver lining.

Silver lining? What the fuck
are you even talking about?

Okay. I'll tell you.

Remember when--
when I was saying that

in order to break
through the noise

and get people's attention
these days,

you have to make
a big commotion?

Well, now, you,

despite whatever nuisance
it's caused at the moment,

you can now go
and make a documentary.

Or, uh, write a book,
or a miniseries,

or, whatever, after you change
all the names, and it'll say,

"Based on an insane
but shockingly true story."

Which is all people give a shit
about these days.

So, what? Y-You...
you expect me to be grateful?

For, uh, you implicating me
in this entire fucking shitshow?

Yes.

Wow.

Wow.

You are...
fucking something else.

I don't believe in shame
or regret or...

...any of the other fucked up

brainwashing they give you
in Catholic school.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,

we have a very special guest
in the studio today.

Uh, world-renowned artist
and now author, uh, Erika Tracy.

Erika's autobiography,

Confessions of a Slut:

How To Get Laid and Conquer
the World at the Same Time

is online and in bookstores now.
Go get it.

Erika, I mean,
welcome to the show, obviously.

Kinda can't believe
you're here right now.

It's so crazy.

That makes two of us.

Um, I was surprised

to see that I made
enough of an impression

to warrant an entire chapter
in your book.

I mean, I'm full of surprises,
you should know that by now.

Do I ever! Uh--

Um, um...

So that was fun.

- It actually was.
- Yeah.

- It was great.
- Yeah.

And it looks like
you were right again.

What do you mean?

Well, you always said
that I'd see

the benefits of our relationship
in the end,

and I mean, well, here we are.

I'm always right.

- You should know this.
- That is, that is so true.

Hey, I, uh,

did you wanna get, like,
a drink or dinner or something?

Elliot, are you hitting on me?

Maybe.

- I have plans tonight.
- Ah.

And I'm flying out
first thing in the morning.

And plus, I've already fucked
you, so what's the point?

So true.

- You do look good, though.
- Thank you.

What'd you do?
Did you replace me or something?

Oh, Erika, trust me.
There's no replacing you.

Why? Have you replaced me?

- Yeah, of course.
- Ah.

But it's not the same.

That's nice to hear.

Well, I'm not worried about you.

I mean, you know,
I'm sure there's

a lot of weak men looking for
a strong woman to dominate them.

- Ouch.
- I know.

Wow. I do
want to tell you, though,

that I... I'm proud of you.

Oh. Um... thank you.
That-- That means a lot.

Aw, gracias, babe.

Jesus, this is Elliot.
Elliot, this is Jesus.

Hey, man. Nice to meet you.

No, no.
He doesn't speak English.

- So...
- Oh, yeah, no, of course not.

I really hate to break up
this circle jerk,

but our next segment is ready

- and we are on a tight schedule.
- Mm-hmm.

Have we met before?

Two minutes.

Let's not make it
another two years.

Definitely.
If you're in New York, call me.

Uh, it's a date.

- Bye, Elliot.
- Bye.

Dearly beloved...

...we are gathered here today

to witness the union
of these two beautiful souls...

...as one.

Do you, Elliot, take Erika
to be your lawfully wedded wife?

To have and to hold?
To honor and cherish?

Till death do you part?

I do.

And do you, Erika,

take Elliot to be
your lawfully wedded husband...

...to have and to hold...

...to honor and cherish...

...'til death do you part?

I do.

I pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

♪ Free yourself

♪ Keep on moving
Up that mountaintop ♪

♪ Why don't you
please yourself ♪

♪ If it feels so good
then don't you ♪

♪ Baby, don't you stop

♪ Don't stop
Don't stop ♪

♪ Baby, don't you

♪ Don't stand there
Waiting all of your life ♪

♪ For the night
To come and find you ♪

♪ The clock is ticking
Baby, now is the time ♪

♪ For someone
to come and hold you ♪

♪ You are a name
Not a number ♪

♪ Extraordinary colors

♪ Don't you hide
Undercover, baby ♪

♪ Free yourself,
Keep moving up-- ♪

Okay.

Okay, good.

- My toothbrush--
- Do you wanna--

Legendary, rock hard...

Sorry. Sorry.

Mm-hmm.

♪ Baby, don't you

Wear a cockstrap.

Should I wear a cockstrap?
What--

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

- You're selling it so well.
- Thank you so much, Olivia.

It's awesome.

No, like, that's, like,
not the vibe.

- Ow. Fuck.
- Oh, God.

Looking at you.

I'm looking at you.

I knew it.

I knew it.

Okay.

Okay.

Greg, I'm gonna do this
right down the barrel.

♪ Keep on moving
Up that mountaintop ♪

Sorry, say that again?

Sure.

- All right?
- Mm-hmm.

She's so manipulative.

I know.