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1
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,286
It's really messed up. Ah!
2
00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:36,128
- Hey, hello. Habla English.
- Hey, are you the son?
3
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,454
Ow.
4
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:39,165
Grandson.
5
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,338
- Hit while driving.
- My leg.
6
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,514
The crazy old biznatch
ran over my brother.
7
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:59,602
It hurts so bad. It hurts so bad.
It hurts so bad.
8
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,196
- Look at that.
- It's this one.
9
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,526
She broke his leg, stood on the gas.
That's a hit- and-run.
10
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,781
She felonied me. That's a felony.
11
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:12,331
- We got the whole thing right here.
- Hold on. Let me talk to her.
12
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,625
- Start talking.
- Good.
13
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,288
- He can't put pressure on it.
- I need to lean on you.
14
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:20,748
It's definitely broken.
15
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,709
Es muy ma! For my leg-o
Lean on this.
16
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,671
No, man, it really hurts.
17
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:34,724
Dude.
18
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:39,023
- Yes, Si, problema.
- And now dos problemas.
19
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,521
Dude.
20
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,532
I don't know what you're saying, man.
21
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:48,780
Dude.
22
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:53,080
Dude, we got a real problem here.
Yeah, Si. Problema.
23
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,872
Hey, amigo, what're you gonna do
about this leg situation?
24
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,710
- I really need a doctor.
- Doctors ain't cheap, yo. It's gonna cost.
25
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:09,171
Either you or her,
somebody's gotta pay.
26
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:10,843
You want money?
27
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,550
- Yes.
- Yeah, damn straight.
28
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:16,479
Hit-and-run? It's no joke.
What are the cops gonna say?
29
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:20,524
Cops? They coming?
30
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,144
- Yeah, maybe.
- That's up to you, man.
31
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:27,698
- They could be looking at this tape.
- It's all up to you.
32
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:35,948
You called her "biznatch"?
33
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,830
- I didn't-
- Whatever. Hurry it up. I'm hurting.
34
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:42,755
Show us the green, or la policia
is gonna come and take Granny away.
35
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,877
She's gonna go to jail.
You want that?
36
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,757
That's right. Play it smart. Okay, good.
So let's talk dollar amounts.
37
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,007
For what you did-
38
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,092
No-
39
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,304
Biznatch.
40
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,837
Hey, get over here.
41
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,218
Yeah, my abuelita's.
42
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,767
Bring No-Doze, and tell Nacho
to bring his van.
43
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,511
Open up, officer of the court.
Open up in the name of the law.
44
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,466
Good afternoon, this-
45
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:32,146
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Showing hands. I'm relaxed. Okay?
46
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,069
Um, non-threatening.
47
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,985
You move, and you're dead.
48
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,076
Got it.
49
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,375
Seems to be a misunderstanding.
50
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,499
Is there by any chance
a Betsy Kettleman here?
51
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,330
Not sure if this is a situation...
52
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:56,041
where I should
or should not look you in the eye.
53
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,546
Now sit.
54
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,602
Who are you? Are you with
those red-headed scumbags?
55
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,350
My name's James McGill.
I'm an attorney.
56
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:14,276
Uh, I got a call from some clients,
something about an accident.
57
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,774
I did not get any details.
58
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:20,323
When I saw skateboards in your
front yard, I assumed they might-
59
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,290
Talk.
60
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:18,795
I'm gonna make an educated guess
what happened here.
61
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,593
My two clients, Frick and Frack,
the mopheads...
62
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:25,138
were in a simple traffic accident.
A minor fender-bender.
63
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,808
Maybe they were on the wrong side
of the street or didn't look both ways.
64
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,728
It could happen to anyone. Heh.
65
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,182
My clients, exhibiting
extremely poor judgement, uh...
66
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:38,690
followed your grandmother to this
delightful, well-tended home.
67
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:44,867
Now, at this juncture, I am deducing
that they said or did something...
68
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:49,867
that crossed a line, and you, with some
justification, you put them in their place.
69
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:55,494
Based on the salsa stain there,
could've gone a couple ways.
70
00:08:55,702 --> 00:09:00,173
The bottom line, not to be morbid,
but if they're dead...
71
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,217
um, I'm guessing that I'm, uh...
72
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:06,967
I'm gonna-
73
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,517
Yeah, I'm gonna go with glass half-full
here and say they're not.
74
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,015
My point is, if they're still alive,
why kill us?
75
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,266
Because of a misunderstanding?
76
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:18,601
Our own stupidity? Why mess up
your lovely abuelita's place? Ha, ha.
77
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:22,654
Why jump to the nuclear option?
See, I'm saying keep it simple.
78
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:27,860
I will collect my moronic clients,
and, poof, we are gone.
79
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:32,323
Neither you nor your lovely abuelita
will ever lay eyes on us ever again.
80
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:36,034
Guaranteed.
Signed, sealed, and delivered.
81
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,048
Assuming, you know,
that they're still breathing.
82
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,099
Wow.
83
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,395
You got a mouth on you.
84
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,181
Thank you.
85
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,527
Get up.
86
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,655
- That way.
- That way?
87
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,487
Yeah, yeah, sure. Why not?
88
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:32,720
So, I should, uh, cut them loose?
89
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,613
- It was him! It was all his idea!
- No, no, no!
90
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,032
You shut up!
91
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,781
- Say what?
- He wanted to scam you.
92
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:56,160
He said we could clear 2 grand easy.
93
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,919
You punking me?
94
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,215
Are you punking my abuelita?
95
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:16,347
He hit his head, he doesn't
know what he's saying.
96
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,737
For what are you getting 2 grand?
97
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,864
It was for going after your grandma.
98
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,867
For taking a header over her car,
and then for bracing her.
99
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,665
It was him, I swear. It was the lawyer.
100
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:16,202
- Who are you? Why are you after me?
- I can explain.
101
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,827
You're gonna laugh, it's so-
I'm a lawyer. Check my ID, okay?
102
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,125
- I was running a scam-
- On my abuelita?
103
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,669
Not on your abuelita. Not on you.
104
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,713
There's a woman named
Betsy Kettleman. I mentioned her.
105
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:31,009
She's married to Craig Kettleman,
he's the treasurer of Bernalillo County.
106
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:34,804
I wanted his business. He stole a million
and a half bucks from the county.
107
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:38,258
He's gonna be indicted
for embezzlement any day now.
108
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:42,892
That's a good case for me.
A lot of publicity. I'll get my name out.
109
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:48,353
I thought if I had these two run their little
skateboard hustle on Mrs. Kettleman...
110
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,277
I could, you know, rescue her.
111
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:53,857
Come in, throw some oil on troubled
waters, and get their business.
112
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:58,070
That was the plan. But it turns out
your lovely abuelita...
113
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,624
she drives a car that is a whole lot
like the Kettle-mobile.
114
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:06,499
So these two geniuses ran their little
stunt on the wrong one.
115
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,546
So joke's on me. Ha, ha-.
116
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,212
Simple as that.
117
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,633
Where's he going?
118
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,973
Talk to me, okay?
119
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:27,645
Who do you think I am?
What is he getting?
120
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,946
I was running a scam to get a client.
I made a mistake, that's all this is.
121
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,525
Oh, jeez.
122
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,243
You don't need-
123
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:44,123
That's not-I'll talk, okay?
124
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,622
Tell me what you want to know.
125
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,213
Who do you think I am?
126
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,835
Hey, use your words, okay?
127
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,131
You know what I smell?
128
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,430
I smell lies.
129
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:03,594
- I smell pork.
- No, that's not necessary.
130
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:06,680
We know you're with the heat.
The question is, who?
131
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,933
- Local, FBI, DEA?!
- No, I'm a lawyer.
132
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,815
Just reach in my pocket right now.
Right there.
133
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,203
Truth.
134
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:29,244
That is the truth! I'm a lawyer!
Guys, I passed the bar! Ask me anything!
135
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:33,423
Not contract law-
I'm down at the courts every day.
136
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,797
People know me.
I'm a known quantity. I am.
137
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:43,091
I'm Special Agent Jeffrey Steele, FBI.
138
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:46,143
- FBI?
- FBI. I'm undercover, okay?
139
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:51,396
You got me. I'm the tip of the spear.
Releasing me would be the smart move.
140
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:52,976
You hear that shit?
141
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,897
I told you the business was too good.
142
00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:00,282
I knew it. I told you.
143
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,030
Can I?
144
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:11,203
- Okay, uh, Special Agent, uh, Steele?
- Jeffrey A. Steele.
145
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,085
Okay, Agent Steele,
what business are we in?
146
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,666
- Business?
- You're investigating us, right?
147
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,876
For what? What did we do?
148
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,421
What do we sell?
149
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:22,881
- Drugs.
- What kind of drugs'?
150
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,591
Uh...
151
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:29,642
It's Title 21, Schedule II through
Schedule V, including Part B.
152
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,941
That's what we call them
down at the Bureau.
153
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,894
The task force is designated
Operation Kingbreaker-
154
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:41,233
Kingbreaker? That makes me the king!
Whoo-hoo!
155
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,280
Can I?
156
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,123
All right.
157
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:55,459
The next words out of your mouth
ought to be the truth.
158
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,381
You understand?
159
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,129
Uh-huh.
160
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,052
Who are you?
161
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:11,180
I'm James Morgan McGill, a lawyer
trolling for business. That's the truth.
162
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:15,312
- Now, you find a Bible, I'll swear on it.
- What about, uh, Operation Kingbreaker?
163
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:20,613
I made it up, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't know you. I don't want to.
164
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,362
Uh, this was a mistake.
165
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,318
It's my mistake. Okay?
166
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:29,281
I take full and complete
responsibility, but...
167
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:33,335
I don't know any of your names,
and I got a bad case of face blindness.
168
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,707
You let us go,
we're gonna forget this happened.
169
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,710
Guys, we're gonna forget, right?
Nod your heads.
170
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,291
Okay.
171
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,465
So if you'd just let us go...
172
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:47,640
I just-We wanna just go home.
173
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,606
I say cut him loose.
174
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:08,445
He said he was FBI. He admitted it.
175
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:12,829
You had your wire cutters on him.
He would've said anything.
176
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,876
You really see the FBI hiring
those two flaquitos?
177
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,415
Maybe.
178
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:26,554
Croaking a lawyer for no reason
is bad business.
179
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,973
He goes away,
someone's gonna come look for him.
180
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,926
They walked into my house.
181
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:35,013
They disrespected my abuelita.
182
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:39,897
They called her "biznatch"
and they just walk?!
183
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,686
Uh-uh!
184
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,318
What about the lawyer?
185
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,206
He's giving respect.
186
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,168
Okay.
187
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:09,885
"James M.McGill,
a lawyer you can trust."
188
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,016
I know how to find you, James McGill.
189
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,815
- Understand what I'm saying?
- Yeah.
190
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,826
Up.
191
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,324
Okay?
192
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,328
Take him back to his car.
193
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:46,297
Thank you. Uh, this is good.
This is right. Thank you.
194
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,626
Come on.
195
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,222
What about them?
196
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,924
- Come on.
- Yeah, right.
197
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,181
- Come on.
- Yeah, right.
198
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,900
- Yo, where you going?
- Wait. Can I say something?
199
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,072
- Where you going?
- Can you let them go?
200
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,867
- Just let them go.
- Are you stupid?
201
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,867
They don't deserve to die.
I put them up to it.
202
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:17,574
I don't deserve to die,
but they don't either.
203
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,413
I'm gonna skin them like javelinas!
204
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:25,875
Forget about them! They're insects!
Hey, think about their mother.
205
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,595
I spit on their mama!
206
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:33,844
She is a sweet little lady.
She's a widow.
207
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:38,349
She works hard, all day, every day,
just like her mother before her...
208
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:42,807
from dawn till dusk,
scrubbing the floors of rich people.
209
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,892
She needs a cane to walk, you know.
210
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:48,947
She's got arthritis,
and still she works every day.
211
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:54,118
What? For herself?
No, for them. For these two.
212
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,320
Her boys, they're apples of her eye.
213
00:19:56,529 --> 00:20:02,161
You say they don't deserve her?
Maybe so. But they're all she's got.
214
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:07,545
Now, you turn them inside out, I want
you to think about what happens to her.
215
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,297
That's on them. They should've
thought about that.
216
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,846
When I was at your abuelita's place,
you were gonna let them go.
217
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,266
The way I see it, that's because
you're tough, but you're fair.
218
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,764
You're all about justice.
219
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:21,937
That's what I'm saying.
220
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:26,400
- Justice.
- These two shit-for-brains, big-mouths?
221
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,023
You already beat
the living hell out of them.
222
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,572
You think they're ever gonna
forget today? Never.
223
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:35,276
Ten years from now, they're still gonna
be crapping their Jockeys.
224
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,363
- It's not enough.
- Okay, okay.
225
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,541
Then let's talk proportionality.
They're guilty.
226
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:47,043
Agreed. Now you have to decide,
what's the right sentence?
227
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:53,169
- Like a judge.
- Like a judge.
228
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,129
Ever hear of the Code of Hammurabi?
229
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:58,011
Let the punishment fit the crime?
Eye for an eye?
230
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,388
Eye for an eye.
231
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,641
- You want me to blind them.
- No, no.
232
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:07,146
- All they did was trash-talk.
- So I cut their tongues out!
233
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:13,732
Wait. See, I'm advising that you
make the punishment fit the crime.
234
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:17,159
"Punishment fit the crime."
235
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,282
Colombian neckties.
236
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:24,414
I cut their throats, and then I pull their
lying tongues through the slits!
237
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:28,372
- Biznatch!
- Or you could give them black eyes.
238
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:32,880
Black eyes? Ha-ha-ha.
That ain't nothing.
239
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:36,633
That one there, Holmes?
He already got a black eye, fool.
240
00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:46,397
Stop helping.
241
00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:49,350
Or you could sprain their ankles.
242
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,526
- Sprain?
- They're skateboarders, right?
243
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,821
That's how they run their scam.
244
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:57,946
They can't skate,
you hit them where they live.
245
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,869
I ain't spraining nothing, bitch.
246
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:04,199
I'm gonna break their arms,
then I'm gonna break their legs.
247
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:07,080
Arms? When did we get onto arms?
248
00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:09,002
I'm cutting their legs off.
249
00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:13,083
We could go that way,
but we were talking about breaking.
250
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:17,011
- We're heading in the wrong direction.
- Okay.
251
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:21,632
- Break their legs.
- How many legs?
252
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:26,062
- Two. They got two legs.
- One leg each.
253
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:27,889
One leg each?
254
00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:33,645
One leg each. Total of two legs.
255
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:38,029
Hey, look, they can't skateboard
for six months...
256
00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:40,155
and they're scared of you
forever.
257
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,282
You show everybody
that you are the man...
258
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:43,954
“but that you're fair.
259
00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,656
That you're just.
260
00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,711
One leg each.
261
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:06,848
That's tough, but it's fair.
262
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:13,017
All right, lay them out! I ain't got all day!
It's hotter than shit out here!
263
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:24,745
Quit moving!
You're only gonna make it worse!
264
00:23:29,366 --> 00:23:32,620
Look! Hell, yeah! Hell, yeah!
265
00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:35,923
He said he had a broken leg,
now he's got one for real.
266
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:39,844
You, tell your mama you're sorry, bitch.
267
00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:41,546
Other one.
268
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:43,882
Hey, look, it's backwards.
269
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:52,690
Check it out.
I'm gonna do this one real clean.
270
00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,062
Whoo!
271
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,696
Walk home now, bitch!
272
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:07,326
Shut up! Shut up!
273
00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:31,307
Here you go. Here you go.
Easy, easy. Save your breath.
274
00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:35,688
Aah! You are the worst lawyer!
The worst lawyer ever!
275
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:40,362
Hey, I just talked you down from a death
sentence to six months' probation.
276
00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:45,029
I'm the best lawyer ever.
277
00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:48,738
Oh. My God!
278
00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:43,982
Could you-? Uh, could you, um-?
279
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:46,359
I'll be right back.
280
00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:14,262
Ground yourself?
281
00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:23,066
Jimmy, did you ground yourself?
282
00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:43,165
I don't think you grounded yourself.
283
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,002
Jesus.
284
00:27:50,752 --> 00:27:53,505
Jimmy, you didn't drive
like this, did you?
285
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,057
Oh, no.
286
00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:09,772
No. I knew it.
287
00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,922
Chuck.
288
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:54,960
Coffee?
289
00:29:56,169 --> 00:29:58,638
Yeah, thanks.
290
00:29:59,715 --> 00:30:02,685
- You're gonna have to take it black.
- Out of milk?
291
00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:07,522
Sorry-
292
00:30:23,238 --> 00:30:25,991
Why are you in that space blanket?
293
00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:28,793
You brought your cell phone
in here last night.
294
00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:31,042
It was in your pants pocket.
295
00:30:31,705 --> 00:30:33,048
Oh.
296
00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:36,635
Sorry about that.
297
00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:40,885
Where-? Uh, where is it?
298
00:30:41,089 --> 00:30:43,262
Outside. I threw it out the door.
299
00:30:53,435 --> 00:30:55,187
How did I get here?
300
00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:58,740
Your car's not outside,
so I'm assuming taxi.
301
00:31:03,153 --> 00:31:08,705
Right, uh, the bartender
wouldn't let me drive.
302
00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:24,891
Why are you in that space blanket?
303
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:29,930
I told you, you brought your
cell phone into my house.
304
00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:38,735
Chuck, uh, did you-?
305
00:31:39,314 --> 00:31:40,816
Chuck, did you read this?
306
00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:43,284
Read what?
307
00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:47,998
Uh, this bill, did you read it?
308
00:31:48,198 --> 00:31:50,246
Emergency room bill.
309
00:31:50,450 --> 00:31:54,000
I may have glanced at it.
It fell out of your pocket.
310
00:31:56,540 --> 00:31:59,919
Hey, Chuck, listen.
I know how this looks.
311
00:32:00,127 --> 00:32:03,848
I'm down to my last dime, and suddenly
I'm paying for broken legs.
312
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:08,848
But it's not that, I swear.
313
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:15,226
This represents
a good thing, ultimately.
314
00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:17,152
Okay.
315
00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:20,572
I'm not backsliding.
This isn't Slipping Jimmy.
316
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:22,069
Fine.
317
00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:29,373
Take off the space blanket,
will you, please, Chuck?
318
00:32:29,573 --> 00:32:31,371
It helps.
319
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,703
Take off the space blanket.
I didn't do anything wrong.
320
00:32:34,911 --> 00:32:38,336
It has nothing to do with that.
It was your phone.
321
00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:44,676
Take off the space blanket.
322
00:32:46,756 --> 00:32:48,383
Why?
323
00:32:52,262 --> 00:32:54,856
Take off the space blanket, Chuck.
324
00:32:55,056 --> 00:32:56,808
Come on.
325
00:32:57,017 --> 00:32:58,439
Take off the blanket.
326
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:11,869
Thank you.
327
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:20,632
- Front yard?
- Yeah.
328
00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:25,758
Uh, do you have any idea
where it landed?
329
00:33:25,962 --> 00:33:27,384
No.
330
00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:54,620
No.
331
00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:57,122
No.
332
00:33:58,286 --> 00:34:00,163
No.
333
00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:02,333
No.
334
00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:11,759
No. No. No.
335
00:34:15,804 --> 00:34:17,272
What do you want?
336
00:34:18,306 --> 00:34:20,809
Not to starve to death.
337
00:34:22,352 --> 00:34:23,399
What do you say?
338
00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:26,864
You got something for me?
339
00:34:48,837 --> 00:34:51,340
It's showtime, folks.
340
00:35:06,438 --> 00:35:08,065
Clovis, lawyer.
341
00:35:08,273 --> 00:35:09,616
I'm gonna kill him.
342
00:35:09,816 --> 00:35:12,194
Your Honour, I'm very sorry.
I'll never do it again.
343
00:35:12,402 --> 00:35:13,904
- Say what?
- Just...
344
00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:16,956
Your Honour, I'm very sorry,
and I'll never do it again.
345
00:35:17,157 --> 00:35:20,707
Okay, Mr. Pearson.
Up you go. All right.
346
00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:22,708
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
347
00:35:23,663 --> 00:35:26,542
I told you a suit, remember?
You want to look sharp.
348
00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:29,378
That's a loaner, okay?
I need it back. Let's go.
349
00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:31,213
- Petty with a prior.
- Kid took a slice of pizza.
350
00:35:31,421 --> 00:35:33,139
- Petty with a prior.
- The parents are a train wreck.
351
00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:34,717
There's no food in the house.
He was hungry.
352
00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:36,426
- Petty with a prior.
- Come on.
353
00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:48,693
- You're light on stickers.
- Come on.
354
00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:50,240
- Five dollars.
- You serious?
355
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:51,987
You got four, you need five.
356
00:35:52,192 --> 00:35:53,990
There's four 90-minute stickers.
357
00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:58,165
- You've been six hours, five minutes.
- Takes ten minutes to walk down here.
358
00:35:58,365 --> 00:36:01,835
Five dollars, or you go
get another sticker.
359
00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:05,876
This makes you feel
real important, huh?
360
00:36:06,081 --> 00:36:08,550
Not enough stickers? More stickers?
361
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:16,140
It's showtime, folks.
362
00:36:20,261 --> 00:36:21,433
It's showtime.
363
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:49,507
- Petty with a prior.
- Prior will stay on his sheet for life.
364
00:36:49,708 --> 00:36:51,927
Petty with a prior.
365
00:36:52,544 --> 00:36:55,388
- You're overcharging him.
- Petty with a prior.
366
00:36:58,091 --> 00:37:00,810
That lady up there?
She shorts me every time, okay?
367
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:05,106
This is not a me problem,
this is a you problem.
368
00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:11,070
It's showtime.
369
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:14,862
It's from a movie.
370
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:24,325
Hey!
371
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:28,171
Okay, hold it.
372
00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:34,511
- Petty with a prior.
- Misdemeanour shoplifting.
373
00:37:34,711 --> 00:37:36,805
- Petty with a prior.
- Meet me halfway.
374
00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:38,973
- Petty, with a prior.
- Ugh. I can't do it.
375
00:37:39,174 --> 00:37:41,142
- Petty with a prior.
- Okay, how about this?
376
00:37:41,342 --> 00:37:44,312
I plead the kid to the sheet.
You give me a continued sentence.
377
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:47,561
He gets six months.
If he's still clean, you file for a dismissal.
378
00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:50,895
Come on. This is how
you want to spend your time?
379
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:53,104
You can have the rest of these.
380
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:06,868
Berger, lawyer.
381
00:38:07,076 --> 00:38:09,579
Mr. Berger, we've met before,
haven't we?
382
00:38:09,788 --> 00:38:12,541
Mr. Edison, like the inventor?
I'm James McGill.
383
00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:13,841
I'll be your lawyer.
384
00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:16,545
Doesn't matter.
Judge has gotta see your mother.
385
00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:19,677
Well, do you know anybody
who looks like her?
386
00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:21,724
No, an uncle won't do it.
387
00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:26,180
Okay, so a fire was started.
We all know that.
388
00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:28,731
Freezing, shivering, as she is now.
389
00:38:28,932 --> 00:38:31,560
In fact, wrote a book about it.
390
00:38:32,602 --> 00:38:34,570
To make some cookies.
391
00:38:34,771 --> 00:38:36,990
But because you-
Given her this name-
392
00:38:37,190 --> 00:38:39,409
You can see that this man-
393
00:38:39,609 --> 00:38:40,826
Chose-
394
00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:43,155
A bonehead move.
395
00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:02,349
You're like a troll under a bridge.
396
00:39:02,549 --> 00:39:05,553
"You must
have the stickers, or you won't pass."
397
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,058
Troll alert here. Don't feed it.
398
00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:23,240
Ladies.
399
00:39:24,696 --> 00:39:26,073
Good evening, Ms. Nguyen.
400
00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:28,704
- No mail.
- Hey, Vicki, Maggie.
401
00:40:06,195 --> 00:40:10,245
You have zero messages.
402
00:41:14,263 --> 00:41:15,435
- Customer.
- What?
403
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,438
For you, a customer. Waiting now.
404
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:20,612
Uh, sure, sure. Give me a minute.
405
00:41:46,546 --> 00:41:48,640
Welcome, welcome.
My office is being painted.
406
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:53,061
Excuse the temporary, uh, quarters.
407
00:41:53,302 --> 00:41:54,554
Wow.
408
00:41:55,304 --> 00:41:57,181
Cosy.
409
00:41:59,559 --> 00:42:00,651
Just me.
410
00:42:02,103 --> 00:42:04,105
Tuco freaked you out, huh?
411
00:42:05,898 --> 00:42:09,653
It's cool. He doesn't know I'm here.
412
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,627
So, uh...
413
00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:28,467
what can I do for you?
414
00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:34,470
I've been thinking about
what you said out there in the desert.
415
00:42:34,677 --> 00:42:38,022
Those people that you were trying
to scam, how much did they steal?
416
00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:40,100
Um...
417
00:42:40,308 --> 00:42:43,733
North of a million
and a half bucks, I think.
418
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:50,239
So, they have a million
and a half bucks somewhere.
419
00:42:50,443 --> 00:42:51,569
In what, cash?
420
00:42:51,778 --> 00:42:56,329
I don't-Why are you asking me?
421
00:42:56,532 --> 00:42:58,455
I'm gonna rip them off.
422
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,461
Oh.
423
00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:03,457
I like ripping off thieves because
they can't go to the cops.
424
00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:05,257
They have no recourse.
425
00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:07,051
Hmm.
426
00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:09,595
You point me at
where they have their cash...
427
00:43:09,796 --> 00:43:13,391
I'll pay you-Uh, what do you call it?
A finder's fee.
428
00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:16,686
Call it 10 percent, 100 large.
429
00:43:19,430 --> 00:43:20,773
Wha-?
430
00:43:21,099 --> 00:43:23,318
Why would you come to me for that?
431
00:43:25,228 --> 00:43:29,074
You already tried ripping them off.
I'm gonna finish what you started.
432
00:43:29,273 --> 00:43:32,743
I wasn't trying to rip them off.
I just wanted their business.
433
00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:33,991
Okay.
434
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,123
I don't know where their money is.
435
00:43:38,324 --> 00:43:40,247
Smart guy like you can figure it out.
436
00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:43,250
Find out what I need to know,
nobody gets hurt.
437
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:45,673
We rip them off, easy money.
438
00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:49,377
Look, I'm a lawyer, not a criminal.
439
00:43:54,006 --> 00:43:55,349
You are shitting me.
440
00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:57,348
I crossed a line.
441
00:43:57,552 --> 00:44:00,897
I made a mistake.
I'm not doing that again. Not ever.
442
00:44:01,097 --> 00:44:03,976
I got between you and Tuco.
443
00:44:05,434 --> 00:44:07,607
Think you'd be here now
if I kept my mouth shut?
444
00:44:07,812 --> 00:44:11,658
And I appreciate that. I owe you.
445
00:44:11,858 --> 00:44:15,829
And if you're ever in trouble,
God forbid, legal trouble...
446
00:44:16,028 --> 00:44:19,953
I will be there 24/7 as a lawyer.
447
00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:24,871
- What's your angle?
- No angle. Heh.
448
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:30,005
And I'm not saying anything about this
to anybody.
449
00:44:30,209 --> 00:44:32,712
As far as I'm concerned,
you're a client...
450
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,388
this is a consultation...
451
00:44:34,589 --> 00:44:37,968
and everything you just told me
is privileged.
452
00:44:38,968 --> 00:44:40,595
You rat, you die.
453
00:44:40,803 --> 00:44:43,727
And that too. Yes.
454
00:45:06,454 --> 00:45:08,627
For when you figure out
you're in the game.
455
00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:12,586
I'm not in the game, I promise.
34556
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