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1
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,713
President Curtis: Oh, shit.
Medallion's on us!
2
00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:06,381
Peterson: Good call,
Mr. President!
3
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:07,966
Watch out!
They're in the bushes.
Thanks, bro.
4
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,593
I got it.
I would have gotten it faster.
5
00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,136
Why can't I just play?
6
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,596
Because this is work.
7
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:13,764
Playing "Battleswag"
with the American people
8
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,599
is basically my fireside chat.
9
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,809
Peterson, I see you're
in Madison, Wisconsin.
10
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,144
Spill the cheese.
11
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,437
Well, sir, I had
a job interview today
12
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:21,813
and I think I bombed it.
13
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:22,898
What field are you in?
Accounting, sir.
14
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,483
Send your résumé to the VA.
15
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,776
I'll have my Chief of Staff
flag it.
16
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:26,944
Banks:
Consider that shit flagged.
17
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,278
Peterson:
Wow! Thank you, sir!
18
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,738
Mikayla: President Curtis!
19
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,156
Ah! Mikayla
in Jacksonville, Florida!
20
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,950
College student at UNF.
She's a regular.
21
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,160
Mikayla,
how'd that calculus exam go?
22
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,287
I'll tell you after you open
your fucking eyes!
23
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,872
They're baiting you!
24
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,666
Ooh, must have blown
a fuse.
25
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,127
Aw, damn it. I had AI chatbots
writing "Pulp Fiction,"
26
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,254
but with the Muppets.
27
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,922
Okay, more than a fuse.
28
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,632
Power's out
across four states.
29
00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:51,760
Eh, probably just a blip.
Back to work!
30
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,679
Sir, the Department of Defense
called to say
31
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,847
that power outage wasn't
just a blip.
32
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,767
They're probably --
Divorced scientist Dr. Keel
33
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,519
requested
an emergency meeting.
34
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,396
Ugh, the chart guy?
35
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,230
He's always pitching me boring
shit to fix nothing-burgers.
36
00:01:04,313 --> 00:01:06,149
Tell him I'm working
with the American people.
37
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,734
Hey, nice shot!
You need some ammo?
38
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,403
Hell yeah. That'd be great.
39
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,280
Oh, man. You know
what else would be great?
40
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:14,658
Being at the meeting to discuss
America's energy crisis.
41
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,493
Dr. Keel? [ Sighs ]
42
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,662
All right, fine. I'm coming up.
43
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,664
But first...
everyone kill this narc!
44
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,374
Ah! What buttons
do I press?!
45
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,500
Aah!
46
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,002
Ooh, Battleswag!
47
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,628
He turned into a chest
of emeralds.
48
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:27,713
-All right!
-Yay!
49
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,506
Mikayla: Four more years!
50
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:36,555
♪♪
51
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:46,356
♪♪
52
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,525
♪♪
53
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:55,282
♪♪
54
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,243
Thank you for coming,
Mr. President.
55
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:01,038
Oh, eat my ass, Dr. Keel.
I blocked you on "Battleswag."
56
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,873
Well, here's something
that you can't block --
57
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,916
America's power grid
is overworked
58
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,710
and in danger
of indefinite collapse.
59
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,419
Sloppy transition
as always,
60
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,213
but how do we fix it?
61
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,799
Not to be vulgar, sir, but
we need to tighten our shit up.
62
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,010
Energy caps,
taxation based on --
63
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,345
What?! No!
64
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,554
Restricting power is
un-American
65
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,056
and a straight-up Bummerville.
66
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,682
There has to be another way
to get tons of power
67
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,434
without bogging down
the people.
68
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,394
[ Sighs ] Captain Marks, you
don't have to raise your hand.
69
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:27,564
Sir, what you're describing is
in Hollow Earth.
70
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:29,566
The natives call it
the Life Tree --
71
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:32,027
a source
of truly infinite power.
72
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,237
We could go down there
with a giant plug
73
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,865
and take their energy,
but, I mean...
74
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,575
no one here
wants to do an "Avatar."
75
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:39,576
-Oof.
-No, thank you.
76
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:40,911
Well, obviously not.
77
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,454
I said the same thing
to Clinton
78
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,164
when we went down there
the first time.
79
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,708
Although back then, we called it
a "Dances with Wolves."
80
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,210
I thought you were gonna
say "Pocahontas."
81
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:49,628
-"Fern Gully."
-What's "Fern Gully"?
82
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,630
"Avatar," but good.
Nerds! Focus!
83
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,215
Janice, you've been
to Hollow Earth?
84
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,259
Haa Nah.
That's how the Daaboo say "yes."
85
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,636
And also "nipple butter."
86
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,388
Oh, but they hate us now.
87
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:00,764
We tried to exploit them.
88
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,140
It didn't go well.
89
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,393
It's been hard
to make them understand
90
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:05,936
we're not
the same people we were.
91
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,688
Well, they haven't met
Andre Curtis.
92
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,606
Curtis is
a man of the people.
93
00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:10,816
He reaches out
and takes big swings.
94
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,150
And we should, too.
95
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,277
If anyone can strike
a fair energy deal,
96
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,779
it's this administration.
97
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,322
Fantastic point.
[ All talking at once ]
98
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,282
Guys, we don't need to go
to Hollow Earth
99
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,827
or take big swings.
We just need to restrict usage.
100
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:22,911
President Curtis:
Well, that settles it.
101
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,162
We're going to Hollow Earth.
102
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,664
And, Janice,
you're coming with.
103
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:28,291
-Whoo, out of office, baby!
-Great.
104
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,169
So you're not listening to me
and I'm not invited.
105
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,505
You know,
"Avatar" saved 3-D!
106
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,298
[ Dramatic music plays ]
107
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,175
[ Computer beeps ]
108
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:40,095
Janice: There she is,
the Hollow Earth Elevator.
109
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:43,473
Ah! You know it used to be
just a bungee cord platform?
110
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,142
I am pumped for this, sir.
111
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,977
Getting a chance to help
Americans and make new allies?
112
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,813
You're gonna crush this.
We're gonna crush this.
113
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,314
I want you to be
my right hand, Banks.
114
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,358
Make sure America
keeps this aboveboard.
115
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:54,985
Fucking dream team.
Mm.
116
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,361
And, O'Doyle.
You protect Janice.
117
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,196
Sir?
She's essential, O'Doyle.
118
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,866
You think Luke would leave C-3PO
to rot on a critical mission?
119
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,367
Actually don't answer that.
120
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,869
Janice is the only one
121
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,162
who knows the natives'
language and culture.
122
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,788
I need my best man
protecting her.
123
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,498
Your best man
respectfully passes.
124
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,001
No. He doesn't.
[ Sighs ] Fine.
125
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:14,337
I will remove my personal oath
of protection from you.
126
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,923
[ Breathes deeply ] Place
your head upon my chakra.
127
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,719
Athrym Mo Me Hoyem.
128
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,890
Just say
you love each other, guys.
129
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,975
This is purely transactional!
130
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,227
Boop éy.
Boop éy.
131
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:31,229
It is done.
All right, people!
132
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,315
We're gonna do it cool
and aboveboard.
133
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,150
Let's roll!
134
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,028
Wow, kinda thought
the inside would be bigger.
135
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,864
Does, uh, anyone happen
to have my brand of deodorant?
136
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,117
Isn't this grand, Francis?
You and me in Hollow Earth?
137
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,036
We can really get to know
each other.
138
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,913
Ma'am,
it's a security detail.
139
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,207
These are my 18 grandkids,
starting with the uggos.
140
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,417
Kill me.
141
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,338
Wow. [ Chuckles ]
142
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,089
Are you guys seeing
this place?
143
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,883
It's dripping with energy!
144
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,093
Oh, Janice, you were right.
It's so beautiful --
145
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,929
Oh, fuck!
A leggy worm!
146
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,722
Ma'am! Get behind me!
Don't shoot!
147
00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,891
That's a leg-gee-gee!
It's sacred!
148
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,643
[ Clicking tongue ]
149
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,353
[ Roars ]
150
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,104
[ Clicking tongue ]
151
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,441
Holy shit, Janice!
152
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,152
See? This is why you
always bring a protocol droid.
153
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,154
Goodoo me doo-woooo.
Goodoo!
154
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,073
Janice, tell them
we apologize
155
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,242
for our past administration's
mistakes,
156
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,743
and we've come
to make a fair deal.
157
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,620
Boo-gaa.
158
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,539
Phoo troo yoo ma-roo?
159
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,749
Ee-Yoo. Ee-Yoo.
160
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,961
Although I'm wary
of all Crusties,
161
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,922
it is cool that you cared enough
to bring a Kaka-Mundo.
162
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,590
One who speaks
like the Daaboo.
163
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,008
You know English?
164
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:45,136
Your Clin-ton left
an Us Weekly down here.
165
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,681
We used it
to teach ourselves.
166
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,766
Tell us,
is Backstreet still back?
167
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,686
Janice? Janice! My love!
168
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,313
Toomoo! Oh, Toomoo!
169
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,274
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
[ Smooching ]
170
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,151
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
171
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,446
I must say, you have super big
balls coming down here again.
172
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:06,157
But your Kaka-Mundo
has softened our hearts, so...
173
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,243
I'm listening.
Thank you, Koochoo.
174
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,996
As a peace offering, we've
brought gifts from above --
175
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,540
Crocs and Kirkland's version
of Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
176
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,668
It is customary for a gift giver
to drink their own piss
177
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,212
before anyone
accepts a gift.
178
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:21,715
Hmm?
You have to drink
your own piss first.
179
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,133
Yeah, yeah, no, I heard.
180
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,843
But is there --
Uh, can I get a reason?
181
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,637
Together: To show that you are
pure of heart and body.
182
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,014
Hey, we take big swings,
right?
183
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,932
Right. Um, yes.
184
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,767
Okay, I'm just gonna
go over here.
185
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,519
Koochoo,
I'm not gonna play around.
186
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,980
In exchange for your energy,
I'd like to offer you statehood.
187
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,940
A chance to join
our great nation.
Pass.
188
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,817
How about
ecological protection?
189
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,360
Or statehood?
190
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,904
Hey, get your own star,
maybe a football team?
191
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,114
Please.
Okay. Uh-huh.
192
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,450
Mmmm, nope.
Mnh-mnh. No.
193
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,826
Oh, what's happening?
194
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,536
Hu-- Here we go.
195
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,663
[ Gulping ]
196
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,749
Ah! I did it!
America did it!
197
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,667
Thank you.
And as for our deal,
198
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,210
we just want
50,000 Toyota RAV4s.
199
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,630
Huh?
Us Weekly said it's not a toy,
200
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,882
but that doesn't mean it won't
make you feel like a kid again.
201
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,300
Uh, Banks...
202
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,677
can you put in an order
for 50,000 RAV4s?
203
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,846
The all-new 1996 model.
Done.
204
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,222
What do you say?
205
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,515
Vroom-vroom!
206
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,100
This is
a momentous day.
207
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,436
Today, we solved
America's power crisis
208
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,439
by adding
the energy of friends.
209
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,565
-Aww!
-Aww!
210
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:21,816
Flying in the plug!
211
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,526
Okay,
so how do we patch in?
212
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,612
Should we just start
stripping the wiring or...
213
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,322
I dunno. You should
probably ask the people
214
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,907
who supply
the tree's power.
215
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,408
I thought
the tree is the power.
216
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,534
Oh, it totally was,
but then we used it all.
217
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,080
Now we get our power
from the Moss People below us.
218
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,082
Banks: You're telling me
after we did this whole thing
219
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:40,043
and drank piss we have to talk
to someone else?!
220
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:41,670
Well, they certainly
won't talk to us.
221
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,421
We've exploited them
a lot.
222
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,423
Also, our RAV4 vroom-vroom deal
still stands
223
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,300
because you'll need to run
power through our world.
224
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,303
God damn it! Just take us
to the power source!
225
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,224
Toomoo! As elder, you are
in charge in my absence.
226
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:57,185
Very well. I will pause
from the best lovemaking
227
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,771
of my entire life
to lead our village.
228
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,898
-Aww!
-Sir? For the love of God.
229
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,358
My job can't be to hang out
230
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,777
and hear a grandma have
gross old-people sex.
231
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,445
She's their Kaka-Mundo.
232
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:11,074
Your job is whatever it needs
to be to keep her safe.
233
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,201
[ Sighs ]
[ Both smooching ]
234
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,620
Mm! Tiny kisses --
my favorite.
235
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,830
See you tonight?
236
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,707
You bet
your noodly biscuits.
237
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,834
-Bye, my love!
-Bye, cutie!
238
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,252
Ugh, gross!
Come on!
239
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,421
Sorry.
Shirt got caught on my bomb.
240
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:25,630
Wait. What?
241
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,173
Yeah,
when I was younger,
242
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,925
I signed up to be
the last line of defense in case
243
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,636
a hostile force ever took
control of the Oval Office.
244
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,388
Holy shit.
245
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,432
Well, I had a womb. I figured,
"Why not weaponize it?"
246
00:08:35,472 --> 00:08:38,226
They called me the first
"Kamikaze Secretary."
247
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:41,145
Okay, that's bad-ass.
Heh. You wanna see bad-ass?
248
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,731
I'll show you
how to use your tongue
249
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:43,940
to control
a 60-foot worm.
250
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,650
And not in a gross way.
251
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,070
Whoa!
252
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,572
See? Our tree's plugged
into the Life Rock,
253
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,657
like I said.
Shulu shulu! Shu-boo!
254
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,659
Shulu shulu!
No, no, no, no, no.
255
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,119
Shu-gadoo gulu.
256
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,454
They're just yelling
obscenities at us.
257
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,247
Mostly mom stuff.
Bugadu. Dudu ma!
258
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,999
No! Don't yell back!
That's insane!
259
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,292
Tell them we've come
to negotiate
260
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,669
in good faith.
-Shu-boo shulu.
261
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:08,715
For your piss.
262
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,842
Wait, me again?
Why me?
263
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:15,138
Finally, some leaders who aren't
dishonest green douchebags.
264
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,182
You're a cool guy.
-It's kinda my thing.
265
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,142
Yeah, well,
he made a deal with us first.
266
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,894
We're getting
50,000 RAV4s.
267
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,188
Then we want
50,000 RAV5s.
268
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,023
Uh, they didn't make
RAV5s.
269
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,650
Okay, hardball.
60,000 RAV4s.
270
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,694
President Curtis:
Before I agree to anything,
271
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,988
I want proof this is
the main source of power.
272
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:35,033
Uh...we're plugged into
the level below us,
273
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,786
but you can't run power through
here without cutting us in.
274
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:39,370
What the fuck, guys?!
275
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,624
♪ And then they did it
a few more times ♪
276
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,919
♪ Banks had to drink
more piss ♪
277
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:50,340
♪ They really did it
a few more times ♪
278
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:53,843
♪ But there's even more
after this ♪
279
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,678
♪ After this worm ♪
280
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,223
[ O'Doyle and Janice
clicking tongues ]
281
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,017
Nice clicking, Francis.
282
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,477
Next time,
use a little more throat.
283
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,020
Yes, ma'am.
You know what'll help?
284
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,730
Daaboo ice cream.
285
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,316
They serve it so hot, it'll put
calluses on your larynx.
286
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,944
Now go find us a rock to sit on.
Back in a jiff!
287
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,195
Okay, rock.
288
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,905
Looking for a rock.
289
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,865
All the rocks are
on the ceiling.
290
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,951
[ Smooching ]
[ Sighs ]
291
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,369
That son of a...
292
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,663
Hey, buddy.
What are you doing?
293
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,289
I'm just having sex
with two women.
294
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:24,791
What's your problem?
295
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,876
Don't you think that's,
you know, a little much?
296
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:28,253
What if Janice saw?
297
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,380
Look, I don't know
how it is on the crust,
298
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,631
but down here,
we got a saying --
299
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,258
The more leaves
on the plant,
300
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,801
the more you should rub
your dick on it.
301
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,386
Listen to me, you slut.
302
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,263
I care about Janice,
so if you hurt her,
303
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,723
I will beat
your green witch face so hard,
304
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,100
you won't be able
to see a woman,
305
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,601
let alone touch her!
306
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,937
But they could still touch me,
right?
307
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,730
They won't want to.
308
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,607
Koochoo:
Oh, my God, you suck so bad!
[ Indistinct arguing ]
309
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,609
-You exploited us!
-It's your fault!
310
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,861
-Get your mushroom off of me!
-And now you suck even more.
311
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,279
Guys! Fuck!
312
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,115
It's hot and I'm tired
and America is out
313
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,242
hundreds of thousands
of '90s-style RAV4s
314
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,952
that we don't even have!
315
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,079
Wait, are we the only ones
who asked for Oakley sunglasses?
316
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,372
I want to renegotiate!
317
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:05,957
No! No more deals!
318
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,792
America is done being played
for a fool!
Aah!
319
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,335
[ Grunts ]
What?
320
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,795
What the hell is this?
321
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,463
The source of all our power.
322
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,424
It's like an infinite
wireless battery or something.
323
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,134
It's a spaceship, you dunce.
324
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,845
Looks like it crashed into
the Earth's crust centuries ago.
325
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,221
Wait, there's something inside.
326
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,098
Did any of you
even bother to open this?
327
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,601
Why would we open
a battery?
328
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,853
Oh, my Goooood!
329
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:30,315
Look at these things! Mwah!
They're adorable!
330
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,109
Sir, the power isn't
coming from the ship.
331
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,777
It's coming
from the Gobobears.
332
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,362
By the way,
I also just named them that.
333
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,281
Perfect name.
Aww! And look!
334
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,116
They reproduce via mitosis.
335
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,784
[ Whimpers ]
336
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,244
Wow, and they do it fast.
337
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,954
I'm not really seeing
the big deal here.
338
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,915
President Curtis: Open your
eyes, mushroom lady! Mwah!
339
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,500
They would have given you all
infinite, sustainable power!
340
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,419
Mwah! None of this
was necessary! Mwah.
341
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,671
You idiots didn't need
to plug in or exploit at all!
342
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,340
Please, you don't have to yell.
Oh, my gosh.
343
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,175
Sir, calculating based
on the speed of reproduction,
344
00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:00,094
all we need is two of these to
fix America's grid. Mwah. Mwah.
345
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,429
We'll leave the rest
to be free-range.
346
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,680
Not that they deserve them!
347
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:04,349
Fine! Let's get the hell
out of here.
348
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,808
-We do deserve them!
-But my RAV4!
349
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,685
Eat my ass.
And lose America's number.
350
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:08,895
Nickel leader: Not cool!
351
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,146
[ Gasping ]
352
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,481
O-Ow. Ow!
Shit!
353
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,316
You weren't kidding.
Oh!
354
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,776
How are you eating this?
355
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,653
Oh, I don't listen to my body
when it whines.
356
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,154
You're my hero.
[ Elevator whirring ]
357
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,657
Come on, guys!
We're leaving!
358
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,283
Now? But Toomoo.
359
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,786
Oh, shit.
O'Doyle, grab the Gobobears!
360
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,955
Mwah.
Wow, their eyes are huge. Mm!
361
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:29,582
Oh, there's my man!
362
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,210
Toomoo, honey!
We're leaving!
363
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,379
[ Gasps ]
364
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,880
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
365
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,508
[ Ice cream cone thuds ]
366
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:39,634
Oh...
367
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,052
Janice! Come on!
368
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,304
The Gobobears aren't
getting any cuter.
369
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:44,722
[ Chattering ]
370
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,516
Oh, how dare you!
371
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,351
My fellow Americans...
372
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,852
the nerds wanted to put
restraints
373
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,062
on American electricity,
374
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,563
but I figured out
how to give you
375
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:55,400
even more
unlimited energy forever!
376
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,693
-Aww!
-Aww!
377
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,403
This is Two-Toes.
[ Smooches ]
378
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,988
One of several
miraculous creatures
379
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,532
we freed from the deep dangers
of Hollow Earth.
380
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,368
And thanks to some
rad-ass energy-absorbing tech.
381
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,036
we've not only stabilized
the grid --
382
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,371
We've done it adorably.
383
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,872
-Mr. President!
-Mr. President!
384
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,208
Frank.
Sir, American deserves
to know --
385
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,626
How are you
so fucking cool?
386
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,211
When you got it, you got it.
[ Rumbling ]
387
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,546
Wait. What the hell is that?
388
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,256
General: Attention.
[ Crowd gasps ]
389
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,675
We have detected that
your mystical native race lives
390
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,720
on top of a rare substance
known as Cantgetium.
391
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,222
What?
We're not mystical or native!
392
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,224
We're notorious for colonizing!
393
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,727
Prepare for harvesting.
[ Screaming ]
394
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:34,522
Oh, man. Us Weekly's gonna have
a field day with this!
395
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,900
Oh, shit!
These motherfuckers are crazy!
396
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,152
[ Smooching ]
397
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,570
[ Whirring ]
398
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,905
[ Gobobears whimpering ]
399
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,032
[ Gasps ]
400
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,283
Crinkle Ear! Nooo!
401
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,452
You goddamn monsters!
402
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,120
Pilot: Ha ha ha!
Holy shit.
403
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,538
It's not just on the surface.
404
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,290
There's even more Cantgetium
below us.
405
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,750
Guys, you think
this is too much?
406
00:13:53,790 --> 00:13:55,918
Like, isn't this
predictably awful?
407
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,380
That's why we're called
"Arch-ians," Mr. Scientist.
408
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,550
We've evolved
by abandoning all nuance.
409
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,053
Now...put a drill in the ground
410
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,096
and suck this planet dry.
411
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:09,724
[ Laughs evilly ]
412
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:13,478
♪♪
413
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,022
Oh, my God!
They're drilling for more bears?
414
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,940
I should have never pushed you
to go down there.
415
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,068
I was drinking the Kool-Aid
too hard on our administration.
416
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:21,736
Mwah.
This one's on me. Mwah.
417
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,279
I should have listened
to the nerds
418
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,781
and done the boring,
responsible thing!
419
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:26,783
I just wanted to be
America's cool dad.
420
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,659
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
421
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,413
Seriously?
Not even a dent?
422
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:33,998
[ Missiles firing ]
423
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,460
[ Gobobears whimpering ]
424
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,796
Sir! None of our weapons
can bring them down!
425
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,006
And we've spent
millions of tax dollars trying!
426
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,925
We need to get
these Gobobears outta here.
427
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,511
All of them!
Take care of Two-Toes for me!
Mwah.
428
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,179
Banks! What are you doing?
Mwah.
429
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:49,639
Finding a way
to bring them down.
430
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,349
I didn't drink all that piss
for nothing.
431
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,975
Rahhhhh!
432
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,644
[ Grunting ]
433
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,856
Right.
Best to just let her cook.
434
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,109
Let's roll!
435
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:02,652
Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.
[ Rumbling ]
436
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:03,486
[ Gasps ]
437
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,821
What the hell?!
438
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,323
-Oh!
-Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
439
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,200
Oh, my God!
Stay strong, Daaboo!
440
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:12,328
Like Kevin in the all-new
motion picture, "Home Alone."
441
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,871
Good work, soldiers.
442
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,706
Get those Gobobears
some blankets and kisses.
443
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,667
It's bad, sir.
We estimate their drill
444
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,420
will reach the Gobobear layer
in a couple of hours.
445
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,130
Banks, did you hack in?
446
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,172
It's an alien code base.
447
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,715
I-I don't understand it!
448
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,300
Can't you just think like them
or something?
449
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,927
Upload an alien brain?
450
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,388
Maybe if I reduce skepticism
and boost my adaptability,
451
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,848
I can remove all barriers
452
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,850
towards understanding
their culture.
453
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:36,269
My mind would be open
to literally everything.
454
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,562
But that sounds dangerous.
455
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,480
Wow, whoa, whoo. Shit.
Banks?
456
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,607
Damn, mm-hmm, wow, whoa.
Shit.
457
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,568
Ooh. Cool. Wow. Whoa.
458
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,236
Well,
this could go a few ways.
459
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,864
Sir. Koochoo called to say
the Hollow Earthers are using
460
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:51,033
our elevator to come up and
fight the giant drill machine.
461
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,535
I say we ghost them.
462
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:53,578
Just pretend
we never heard them,
463
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:54,912
make full eye contact,
464
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,873
turn around,
and let them die alone.
465
00:15:56,914 --> 00:16:00,334
I'll take that
into consideration, Janice.
466
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,670
[ Sobbing ]
O'Doyle: [ Clicking tongue ]
467
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,088
Oh. Oh.
468
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,590
[ Clicking tongue ]
469
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,092
Oh, God. You're crying
because I was so good at it.
470
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,927
No, you still sound awful.
471
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:13,264
Oh, I'm sad
because Toomoo ghosted me.
472
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,892
Oh, don't be. I protected you
from that piece of shit.
473
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,727
What?
I caught him cheating on you,
474
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,187
so I threatened
to break his face.
475
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,814
Don't worry -- I got you.
What is wrong with you?!
476
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,567
I haven't seen him in years.
I don't care if he's exclusive.
477
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,903
It was just nice
to know he still loved me.
478
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,988
Uh, a-are you upset
with me?
479
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,199
Francis, I don't know
if your brain is broken
480
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:34,035
or you're just a bro, but your
toxic, transactional way
481
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,703
of showing emotions
has got to stop.
482
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:38,539
You are done protecting me!
483
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,584
So...you forgive me?
484
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,794
Janice: No, you weird,
selfish dick!
485
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,632
Uh! Koochoo.
486
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,634
Never thought I'd see
your sorry ass on the surface.
487
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,552
We gonna do this,
or what, Crustie?
488
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,388
Listen up! This isn't just
about energy anymore.
489
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,265
It's about our homes!
Our livelihoods!
490
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:57,767
Protecting our Gobobears!
491
00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:01,103
Together,
we can take down this harvester!
492
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,313
With my nickel!
493
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,648
-And my moss!
-And my shroom!
494
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,401
Yeah! Okay, sure.
Go get 'em, guys!
495
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:08,819
Hollow Earth!
496
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:11,280
-We got this!
-Charge!
497
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:12,906
[ Hollow Earthers yelling ]
498
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:16,786
[ Screaming ]
499
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,454
Whoa!
500
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,789
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, no, no, no. Stop!
501
00:17:19,829 --> 00:17:21,624
I was only playing along
for camaraderie.
502
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:22,791
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit!
503
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,794
Oh, that's hard to watch.
504
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,503
For Janice!
505
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,214
[ Yelling ]
506
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,132
You aren't allowed to die!
507
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,801
You again?
508
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,095
You need to make love
to my co-worker. You hear me?!
509
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,471
What is wrong with you?
510
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:37,056
I'm not good
at this.
511
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,058
[ Rumbling,
Gobobears whimpering ]
512
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:43,646
♪♪
513
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,898
Our drill is closing in
on that Cantgetium, General.
514
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,651
Ha ha ha!
Nothing can get in our way now.
515
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:49,902
[ Door opens ]
What?
516
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:50,987
Huh?
517
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,321
Who are you?
518
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,156
Why did you just slide
a gun towards me?
519
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,492
Hak nagala.
What?
520
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:59,704
No one but us
understands our language.
521
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,497
I've opened my mind
to your culture.
522
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,999
Absorbed it all.
Ah.
523
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,168
But you still want to know
why we do it.
524
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:10,381
As a boy, my species ravaged
our own planet for energy.
525
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,801
And when that wasn't enough,
we drained our sun and --
526
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:14,844
Agh!
527
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,178
You!
528
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:19,640
[ Weakly ] You murdered me
while monologuing!
529
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:23,227
That's the most
Archian thing ever.
530
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,228
[ Gasping ]
531
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:27,732
I...think...I-I love you.
532
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,484
Mr. Pilot.
533
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,361
Well, now it's weird
if I say "I love you," too.
534
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,488
But I was thinking it.
535
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:35,573
[ Cellphone rings ]
536
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,033
Banks.
Oh, thank God.
537
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,576
These Hollow Earthers
are terrible allies.
538
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,453
Good news
and bad news, sir.
539
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,872
I went full Archian, but it did
help me find a vulnerability.
540
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:45,625
There's a small thermal vent
that leads to their engine core.
541
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,835
We blow that up,
it'll take down the whole fleet.
542
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,462
Hell yeah!
543
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,172
Get your ass out here
so we can Death Star this thing!
544
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,591
Guys! We're gonna use
actual missiles
545
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,717
to hit an actual weak spot.
546
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,260
Get the hell out of the way!
547
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,720
Hollow Earther: Okay.
[ Hollow Earthers mumbling ]
548
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,055
Missiles aren't gonna cut it,
sir.
549
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,556
We need to suck
their defenses dry.
550
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,350
Sorry. Fuck.
Give me a sec.
551
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,601
Ohhhh. Oh!
552
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,061
Here comes the shame.
Uhhhh...
553
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,104
-I got you.
-Uch, stop handing me piss.
554
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,939
My arc wasn't learning
to love piss.
555
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,067
Sorry. Where was I?
Missiles aren't gonna cut it.
556
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,235
We need a nuke
to blow out their engine core.
557
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,612
We're 30 miles from D.C.!
558
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,614
That would cause fallout
for decades.
559
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,240
Well, what the hell
are we gonna shoot in there?
560
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:19,742
Two-Two: [ Deep voice ] Me.
[ All gasp ]
561
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,077
Two-Toes? You can talk?
562
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,745
As you have been kissing
and petting me,
563
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,789
I have learned your language.
564
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,041
Where I come from,
there is nothing but energy.
565
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:30,586
We left in search of the
rarest element in the universe.
566
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,088
Pearls?
Love.
567
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,923
-Obviously.
-"The Fifth Element."
568
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,633
We spent a lifetime searching.
569
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:39,095
But it only took a day with you
to finally understand it.
570
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,722
If you let my people return home
with this knowledge,
571
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,392
I will take out the harvester.
572
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:45,768
Clean energy, no radiation.
573
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:48,062
You have my word, Two-Toes.
[ Smooches ]
574
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,605
Load me in.
575
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,066
[ Dramatic music plays ]
576
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:59,782
♪♪
577
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,117
[ Whimpers ]
578
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,284
[ Grunts ]
579
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:04,245
[ Whimpers ]
580
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,622
♪♪
581
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,874
[ All cheering ]
582
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,421
[ Door slams open ]
Toomoo?
583
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,089
My favorite of all my loves!
584
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,675
Janice, look, I'm good
at stopping bullets,
585
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,343
and a penis is a bullet,
586
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:20,970
so I stopped this.
587
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,638
I-I still don't know
how to do this right,
588
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:23,848
but here.
589
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,516
Thank you, Francis.
590
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,309
Wait till
I'm out of the room!
591
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:29,812
President Curtis: Your people
came in search of love.
592
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,439
And in doing so,
593
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,607
they helped us to find
the power within ourselves.
594
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:34,942
Not that we can monetize that
595
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,902
or use it to play Xbox,
but, still.
596
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,571
You can all go home now.
597
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,030
[ Gobobears chattering ]
598
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,741
-Bye!
-Goddamn adorable.
599
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,744
Koochoo: Aww.
Their tails must get so dirty.
600
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:47,913
Aww.
601
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,958
Wait, that was
our entire energy supply!
602
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,753
Well, you certainly fucked us,
Mr. President.
603
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,005
Not only
did you not get us power --
604
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,883
We had to build an extra
power plant in Hollow Earth
605
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,886
because you crippled
their energy source.
606
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:04,555
Not to mention all
the 1990s-style RAV4s
607
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:08,017
we had to put into production
as some kind of apology.
608
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,144
Am I taking crazy pills?
[ Sighs ]
609
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,854
Just show me
in the simplest terms.
610
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:15,483
What is America's
biggest energy suck?
611
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:17,193
[ Gasps ] Shit.
612
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,361
Which is why,
as of 1:00 p.m. today,
613
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,822
we are implementing
an AI porn tax.
614
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,491
[ Crowd gasps ]
615
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:27,244
AI porn takes up about 95%
of our energy as a nation.
616
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:30,122
Every citizen will be limited
to two keywords per day...
617
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:31,874
every company, two letters.
618
00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:34,001
But if the Gobobears taught us
anything,
619
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,336
it's
that we can get through this
620
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,962
with the power of love.
621
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,088
[ Reporters
shouting indistinctly ]
Frank.
622
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,340
Mr. President,
you really think
623
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:40,841
it's cool to tax our penis?
624
00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,635
No, Frank, none of this
is "cool." Stuckey.
625
00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:45,721
Sir, people online are already
calling you the "CumTaxer."
626
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,057
Do you think that will be
your new "Battleswag" gamer tag?
627
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:50,893
Banks, see if we can get
"CumTaxer" as my gamer tag.
628
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:52,853
Way ahead of you, sir.
629
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,730
Already secured "CumTaxer"
"CumTaxer69,"
630
00:21:54,772 --> 00:21:56,232
"CommanderNCumTax."
631
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:57,358
Cool.
632
00:21:58,901 --> 00:22:03,405
♪ AI's not as big a danger ♪
633
00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:05,866
♪ As AI porn ♪
634
00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:09,954
♪ Everyone will make
their own porn ♪
635
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,792
♪ Think of it
like brewing beer ♪
636
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:18,712
♪ But if you brewed
8 million beers ♪
637
00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:21,882
♪ You'd stop ♪
638
00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:27,221
[ Sighing ] Oh, God damn it.
46750
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