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1
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,838
-Give me a Kocher.
-Vascular clamp.
2
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,405
NURSE:
Vascular clamp.
3
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,276
Which sister was better?
4
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,278
The younger one.
She had more experience.
5
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:03,715
Oh, nertz! I dropped
that fragment again.
6
00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,674
You'll get it, Doctor.
7
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,415
TRAPPER:
Try a magnet, Frank.
8
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,460
Or find a patient
with bigger fragments.
9
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,636
Steady, people.
Metzenbaum scissors.
10
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,378
-Metz.
-We're here to
help each other.
11
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,989
-Want a hand, Frank?
-Aw, leave him alone.
12
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:18,513
He's just doing
a premature autopsy.
13
00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:21,385
All right, you close.
It's your turn.
14
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,257
It's not my turn,
but I'll do it.
15
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,041
Skin sutures.
Pickups.
16
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,090
HAWKEYE:
Oh, no, not another one.
17
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,830
What have you got?
18
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,311
He can't be more
than five-years-old.
19
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,531
I've got a five-year-old
back home.
20
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:38,924
Well, don't send
her to camp in Korea.
21
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:42,754
I'll need a gown
and gloves.
22
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:49,718
Look at that.
Our fearless leader.
23
00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:52,503
Asleep or comatose
from the food?
24
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:55,419
Exhausted.
Thirty hours in O.R.
25
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:58,901
That'll keep the tourists away.
Good night, sweet prince.
26
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:04,167
You mind if we play through?
Thank you.
27
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,169
How many in your party?
28
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,345
Now, that's a pregnancy craving
if I ever saw one.
29
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,608
You can tell us, Radar.
Which girl was it?
30
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,828
Somebody ought to do
something about this.
31
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:15,004
Call Graves Registration.
32
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:17,093
I notice those guys
don't eat here.
33
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:23,186
He could ruin
the garbage disposal industry.
34
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:26,189
Great wrist action.
35
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,191
Hey, we'll take
our check now, miss.
36
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:31,194
Sorry.
It's not my table.
37
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:34,937
Hey, you know anything
about that boy we operated on?
38
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:37,374
Just another wounded kid,
I guess.
39
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:38,984
How's he doin'?
40
00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,770
Okay. I took a little
shrapnel out of his side.
41
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,338
Superficial. He'll be up
and around two, three days.
42
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:47,341
Anybody know anything
about his family?
43
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,908
I know if my two girls
were missing, I'd be
out of my head.
44
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,998
Maybe his folks
are missing, too.
45
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,391
Well, let's check
up on it, all right?
46
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:57,742
Call Seoul,
the Red Cross, the MPs.
47
00:02:57,786 --> 00:03:00,310
Try the local villages
around here. You never know.
48
00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,921
Okay, I'll get on it as
soon as I finish eating lunch.
49
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,227
That could be in two weeks.
50
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:06,186
Or three,
if he has dessert.
51
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,884
Look, I'm eating
as fast as I can.
52
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:10,625
Well, do this fast,
and you'll find
53
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,496
a little something
in your pencil box.
54
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:16,021
A teeny, tiny little nurse
all your own.
55
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:19,634
Honestly,
you guys are embarrassing!
56
00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:22,245
Just imagine if he made love
as good as he eats.
57
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:25,683
No woman in the world
would be safe.
58
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,993
Scalpel.
59
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,779
"Margo smiled at me
60
00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:37,173
"and a chorus
of 500 angels sang
61
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,653
"'You Made Me Love You,
I Didn't Want To Do It'
62
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:40,350
"the Cole Porter
arrangement.
63
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:41,917
"And then she came close
64
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,614
"and I could smell
her perfume.
65
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,399
"It made me want to leave
my wife and children,
66
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:46,922
"and I'm not
even married.
67
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:49,054
"'Hi, gorgeous,' I said.
68
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,534
"Then somebody hit me
with a piano
69
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,754
and the floor came up
and smothered me."
70
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:55,278
That's the most disgusting
thing I've ever heard.
71
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:59,326
-Hi, gorgeous.
-Reading smut to a child.
That's terrible!
72
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:02,851
This isn't smut. It's a
perfectly good little story
about life in everyday America.
73
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:05,070
Anyway, the kid can't
understand English.
74
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:10,337
Uh, that's the Bad Fairy,
and she's the Wicked Witch.
75
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:12,252
Where were we?
Oh, yeah, Margo just
came into the room.
76
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:14,297
You're disturbing the
other patients, Pierce.
77
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,603
You guys want me
to stop?
78
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:18,910
ALL: No!
79
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:21,652
Step down.
Next case.
80
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:23,654
-Okay, now...
-How's he doing?
81
00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:25,177
He was doing great
until the House Mother
82
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,875
and Dr. Clean-Cut
got here.
83
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,312
You should hear what
he's reading to this child.
84
00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:30,922
Perfectly acceptable smut.
85
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:33,447
Don't you pay any
attention to them.
86
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,100
See what Uncle Trapper
brought you?
87
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:38,713
Huh? Some nice
anchovy paste...
88
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:39,931
and a bottle
of pickled onions.
89
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:42,586
I forbid you to give
him those things.
90
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,545
No booze?
A bubble-and-opium pipe?
91
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,634
Oh, this stuff is
all right for him.
92
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,070
Did you hear me,
McIntyre?
93
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,333
-Take a walk, Major.
-Take a major walk.
94
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,422
Somebody has to protect
this child.
95
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,382
-And that's you?
-I am a woman.
96
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:58,341
-Is that true, Frank?
-I always like a second opinion.
97
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,343
We don't need any of
your smart-aleck remarks.
98
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:02,258
Oh, horsefeathers
to you.
99
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,520
I'm ordering you
two degenerates
100
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,130
to leave
this child alone.
101
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,351
Frank, how would
you like your lip
102
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,657
to donate
a pint of blood?
103
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,223
What's going on here?
104
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,358
-Now hold it!
-FRANK: May I say something?
105
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:17,099
No.
106
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:19,406
This is a hospital.
You're doctors.
107
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,364
You ought to behave
like doctors.
108
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,235
So, unless you've got
work to do here, out!
109
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:24,411
Vamoose!
110
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,589
Henry, someone has
to protect this child.
111
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,460
-Don't worry about it.
-I'll finish the story
later, Kim.
112
00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:33,333
-You will not finish it.
-Eat those onions one at a time.
113
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,335
You want smut?
I'll give you smut.
114
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:37,032
Do you realize what you're
going to do to that child's--
115
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:48,435
A little occupational therapy?
116
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:52,526
-It's for the kid.
-You're very talented.
117
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:55,224
It looks like
a pregnant bagpipe.
118
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,182
Do bagpipes get pregnant?
119
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:58,619
Of course they do.
120
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,011
Right after they make
those funny sounds.
121
00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:06,191
He really reaches you, huh?
122
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:09,412
He may just be the cutest kid
I've ever seen in my life.
123
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:13,851
-Mind if I come in?
-You're a little in
to be asking.
124
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:17,377
Hey, that's beautiful.
What is that?
125
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:20,510
That's one of the new
fall line of cows' udders.
126
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:24,340
It's for the kid.
What'd you find out
about him?
127
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,734
Oh, nothing.
I drew an absolute blank.
128
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,083
What do you mean
"nothin'?"
129
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,085
He had to live
somewhere.
130
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:32,043
Well, wherever it is,
it ain't no more,
131
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:34,437
and whoever was there,
they ain't either anymore.
132
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:38,354
-That's impossible.
-That's right, people
don't just disappear.
133
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,747
What, in a war?
134
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,143
Well, we gotta find out
something about him.
135
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,275
What do we do?
136
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:50,279
Colonel Blake is
doing it right now.
137
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:52,020
Let me start again, Sister.
138
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:55,110
Uh, a little boy came in,
just cute as a bug's ear,
139
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,459
about five years old.
140
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,156
And he was wounded.
141
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,767
And we can't keep him here.
142
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,682
Uh, well,
I agree with you there.
143
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,597
This is no place for a child.
144
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,513
I wouldn't be here myself
if it wasn't for the war.
145
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,253
What's that?
146
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:10,386
Uh, no, we can't
locate the, uh, folks
147
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,388
or-or the village.
148
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,346
Yeah, so I think he'd
be a lot better off
149
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,044
in your hands.
150
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,568
Oh, I-I'd say he'd be up
in another few days or so,
151
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,004
and then I'd like
very much to, uh...
152
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,223
-Henry!
-Oh...
153
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,485
We wanna talk
to you, Henry.
154
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:23,878
Look, then, I-I'll
hand him over,
155
00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:25,706
say, uh, first
of the week.
156
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:26,924
Right.
157
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,883
Okay, and see you
in church.
158
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,668
Well, not really.
Bye, Sister.
159
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,496
Henry, what are
you doing?
160
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,281
Oh, uh, I'm playing
with my doll, Pierce.
161
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:38,806
Getting a head
start on senility?
162
00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:42,636
Henry, Radar tells us that
you're gonna send the kid
to the orphanage.
163
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,073
Hey, Radar, I thought
you were working for me.
164
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:47,815
Uh, oh, they got it
out of me.
165
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:48,990
How?
166
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,340
Uh, by listening.
167
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,952
-Is it true?
-About the orphanage?
168
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,606
Look, I've got no choice.
169
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:59,217
This is a hospital.
We can't take care of a child.
170
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,830
I never saw you as
a villain before, Henry.
171
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:04,701
I am not a villain.
172
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:06,529
I do not tie girls
to buzz saws
173
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,922
and I don't throw
banana peels
174
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,619
in front of the
old folks' home.
175
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:12,230
No, you just put
five-year-olds
in orphanages.
176
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:14,319
Get off my back.
177
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,713
Henry, look, let us make
him our responsibility.
178
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,280
Yeah, right!
We'll take care of him.
179
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:19,934
Boy that is rich.
180
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,066
You guys are barely
housebroken yourselves.
181
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,025
Look, you're just gonna
have to leave it with me.
182
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,766
Radar, I am disappointed.
183
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,463
Oh, yes, sir.
184
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,856
Watch it. He'll send
you to an orphanage.
185
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,335
I've seen a side of you
I never saw before.
186
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:32,381
Well, never mind
my sides, McIntyre.
187
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:35,036
Look, you think I want to
send this little fella away?
188
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,559
I've got two kids
of my own.
189
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,866
I'm a former
child myself.
190
00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:41,216
-It's cruel, Henry.
-What isn't around here?
191
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:46,003
Look, if you guys have
got something better
192
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:47,918
than Sister Theresa's,
I'm all ears.
193
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,535
Figured.
194
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,805
TRAPPER: :
"At first I thought
it was the war
195
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:07,198
"and this stinking
place that made me...
196
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:14,205
"...well, love him,
I guess.
197
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,381
"But now I know
it's more than that.
198
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,819
"The reasons
aren't important.
199
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,734
"We think his
parents are dead.
200
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:23,040
"Henry Blake wants to
send him to an orphanage.
201
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:26,087
"And I hate the idea
so much, I can't stand it.
202
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:28,785
"I want us
to adopt him, honey.
203
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,657
"He'd be the son
we never had.
204
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,183
"I know the girls would be
out of their little minds
205
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:37,185
"to have a brother.
206
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:40,057
"This is a decision
we both have to make.
207
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:42,103
"Think about it carefully.
You know my feelings.
208
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:44,192
Now it's in your hands."
209
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:46,542
It's beautiful.
210
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,501
Okay, it's beautiful,
but is it a mistake?
211
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,373
How can you make a mistake
giving a kid his life?
212
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,333
You're all daddy.
213
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,832
I just had my first
lesson in Korean.
214
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,181
I'll be right back.
215
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,185
Okay, look at it.
216
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:23,057
Now, see, you say "Boo!"
217
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,362
Boo!
218
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:26,756
Gone!
219
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,846
Oh, you do?
Well, blow in my ear.
220
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:30,891
Blow in my ear.
221
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:34,546
Ooh...
222
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,418
I think you blew
it right through.
223
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:39,856
Ah, you found it.
224
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,728
How about that?
225
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,164
Now let's do
that other one.
226
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,234
Oh, uh, frankly, we didn't
expect any complications,
227
00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:13,760
Sister, but he is running
a little temp.
228
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:16,197
Uh-huh.
Oh, excuse me.
229
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,894
Anything from
Mclntyre's wife?
230
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:18,895
No.
231
00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:20,636
What's that?
232
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,160
Oh, um, another
few days, I think.
233
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,249
Uh, but, um,
we've got a...
234
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,470
Will you shh?
235
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,646
We've got a pretty sick
little boy on our hands.
236
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,215
Yes, thank you
for calling, Sister.
237
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,217
Yeah.
238
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:38,828
You're gonna get
me in trouble.
239
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,962
"Then the three
little bears..."
240
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:44,138
Uh...
241
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:47,750
Uh, "Bears."
Sam kom.
242
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,752
Three little bears.
243
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,232
Sam kom.
244
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,843
"...got up
from the table..."
245
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:56,498
Uh...
"The table"
246
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:58,152
is, um...
247
00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:00,850
Siktak, Siktak.
Table.
248
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:02,460
"...got up
from the table,
249
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:05,159
"and they walked
up the stairs."
250
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,336
"And they got up
the stairs
251
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:09,903
"and then..."
252
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,556
Uh, let's see
what happens now.
253
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:16,213
-Good evening, Margaret.
-Hello, Frank.
254
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:23,568
-It's Thursday night.
-So?
255
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:28,573
So? I plan my week
around Thursday nights.
256
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,793
My hands were trembling
when I put my shorts on.
257
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:35,624
Frank!
Not in front of the K-l-D.
258
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:39,584
Are you telling me, Margaret,
were not going to have our...
259
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:41,499
discussion tonight?
260
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,501
I'm reading to him.
261
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,853
Are you going
to do all three bears?
262
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:50,160
He's going to spend
the night with me.
263
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:53,947
But, Margaret,
I have so much to discuss.
264
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,644
It can wait.
265
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:58,560
We haven't had a discussion
in a whole week.
266
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:01,258
What about Monday?
267
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:03,608
I'm not counting short talks.
268
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:06,481
Oh, Frank.
269
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:18,188
-I've got to go.
I'm on the next shift.
-Lucky next shift.
270
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:21,148
-He was asleep, wasn't he?
-I'm almost sure.
271
00:13:21,191 --> 00:13:24,325
-Don't worry.
-I did hear some
loud snoring noises.
272
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:27,415
-That was me.
-Good-bye.
273
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:30,070
Oh, wait, wait.
Don't forget your dog tags.
274
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:37,120
"35591715."
275
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:40,907
-Even your number is pretty.
-You're sweet.
276
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:45,172
Tonight, 39591715?
277
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,391
-Where?
-Here.
278
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:49,872
-I don't know.
-Oh, I'm sure
he'll be asleep again.
279
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,918
Okay.
280
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,397
Good morning, children.
281
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:56,836
-Hello, Father.
-Good morning, Father.
282
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,272
Did I interrupt anything?
283
00:13:58,315 --> 00:13:59,839
No, no, no.
We were just going over
284
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:02,319
each other's
medical profiles.
285
00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:04,539
Good. I really stopped by
to see Trapper.
286
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,846
-Is he here?
-Yeah, but I'm asleep.
287
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,459
Well, thank you, nurse,
for coming by. And that
was very helpful--
288
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:12,721
Trapper, the letter
from your wife.
289
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:13,809
I haven't gotten it yet.
290
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:17,465
Hey, it's from Louise!
291
00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:19,293
I have the feeling
it's good news.
292
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,338
You didn't hold it up to
the light, did you, Father?
293
00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:23,253
Oh, now, I would never...
294
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:29,042
"This is to inform you
that you're about to become
295
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,740
the proud father of a
five-year-old Korean boy!"
296
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:33,437
Hey, hey, hey!
How about that?
297
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:35,222
Wait a minute,
there's more, there's more.
298
00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:37,311
"Kathy and Becky are thrilled
about having a new brother.
299
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,269
"Go ahead with
the adoption papers
300
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,489
"and the Army red tape
as soon as you can.
301
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:44,579
"If there's anything I can do
to help at this end,
302
00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:45,928
"just let me know.
303
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,582
"I'm excited as
you are, darling.
304
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,149
"Everything here is--
Everything here is fine.
305
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:50,933
We all miss you.
Love you, Louise."
306
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,413
Hey, hey, we did it!
307
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,243
Father, we had a baby!
308
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:57,766
I was sure it
was good news.
309
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,463
Congratulations,
"Father."
310
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:01,378
Thank you, Father.
311
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:04,120
We're up to our
navels in fathers.
312
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:06,557
I was saving this
just in case.
313
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,690
I have to ask you,
just one apiece, please.
314
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,954
Hey, you know something?
315
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,914
This is probably the nicest
day we've ever had here.
316
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:17,046
If we had a balcony,
we could throw money
to the peasants.
317
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,961
Your happiness
is inspiring.
318
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,963
Maybe this is why
I was sent to Korea.
319
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,138
Maybe, but I wouldn't
underestimate
320
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,531
your draft board.
321
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,576
Up until now I felt
my being here
322
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:26,969
was senseless.
323
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,579
For the first time,
I think I have
324
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,277
a real reason
for being here.
325
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,627
That's the beginning
of faith, Trapper.
326
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:35,935
Father, you made a big score
this morning. Don't press.
327
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,377
-You happy, Frank?
-Happy?
328
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,727
I'm with you,
10,000 miles from home
329
00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:47,207
in war-torn Korea.
330
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,948
I'm the happiest man
in the world.
331
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,124
So am I.
332
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:55,911
You're really
so beautiful,
333
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,088
the way the sun lights up
the hairs in your ear.
334
00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:03,963
Oh, Frank, do you know
how exciting you are?
335
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,921
It takes one
to know one.
336
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:15,757
Margaret, how do you feel
about outdoor discussions?
337
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:27,073
Hi, kids, missed you
down at the Sugar Bowl.
338
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,466
Oh, this war is
so crowded.
339
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:32,034
Is this your idea
of takin' the kid
on a picnic?
340
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:33,383
Where is he?
341
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:35,081
Well, he was here
a minute ago.
342
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,046
-Terrific.
343
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,874
Grab the kid!
344
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:48,746
HAWKEYE:
Hold it!
345
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,403
I gotta get
the kid outta here.
346
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:54,883
You wanna make him
an orphan again?
347
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:57,538
He mustn't move.
348
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:07,200
-There must be a map
to this field!
-TRAPPER: Get it!
349
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:10,116
-Don't move!
350
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:11,900
What a time for the kid
not to understand English.
351
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,903
Kutchio! Nuguo!
352
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:20,604
-What does that mean?
-That means "Stop and stay"
in Korean.
353
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,650
Kutchio!
354
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:24,173
-Yes, kutchio!
-I'll be right back.
355
00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:25,131
Kutchio!
356
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:32,007
Zow-ie!
357
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,097
Now why can't I do that
when I'm really playing?
358
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,881
Maybe you should
take the bedpan
359
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,883
out on the course
with you, sir.
360
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,363
Watch it, Henry.
361
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:42,322
Hey, Pierce, this is
a two-par bedpan.
362
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,280
-You just ruined it.
-Gee...
363
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:45,629
Radar, where do
you keep the maps?
364
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,109
-What maps?
-What's going on?
365
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,632
The maps of
the minefield.
366
00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:50,069
The kid just crawled
in the middle of it.
367
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,548
-Holy cow!
-Minefield!
368
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,637
Why aren't they under "M?"
369
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:56,075
Because they're
under "B," for "Boom".
370
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,866
-Nuguo!
-I got the maps.
371
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:07,086
-Anybody know how to read
one of these things?
-I know how to read a map.
372
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,522
I took a course
in map-reading.
373
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:09,914
All right, good.
374
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,786
All right, let's see.
375
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,396
My left hand is West, right?
376
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,224
Oh, marvelous.
377
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,096
He's right,
it's West.
378
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:19,489
Okay, just keep your
shirt on, Mclntyre.
379
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:22,362
-Hi, boy.
-No! Don't!
380
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:23,841
Kutchio!
381
00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:25,365
All right.
Now, let's see.
382
00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:26,931
Okay, O'Brien's
on his way.
383
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,020
Uh, the red dots
indicate the mines.
384
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,110
-All right.
-Right.
385
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:32,589
All right, McIntyre,
386
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,461
from where you
are there,
387
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:36,027
you can walk straight
388
00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:39,205
for 25 feet before
you get to one.
389
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,294
-Eight yards.
-Just take eight steps.
390
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,406
Hold it.
391
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:09,322
Right, there's one
right in front of ya.
392
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:10,758
Now what?
393
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:11,759
What? Now what?
What next?
394
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,674
All right, let's see.
395
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,806
Oh, yeah, this is
marked off in grids.
396
00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:17,068
Right, we're
in business.
397
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:18,592
You okay, McIntyre?
398
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:21,334
I'm still here.
399
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,553
Okay. Now...
400
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,643
Um, what you wanna do
is you wanna walk
401
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:30,256
three and a half grids
to your right.
402
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:33,433
-Three and a half grids?
-What's a grid?
403
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,261
How many "whats"
in a grid?
404
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:36,740
Let's see,
there's, um...
405
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,264
there's two pints
in a quart
406
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:39,961
and there's two
hectares in an acre.
407
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:42,224
Who cares, Henry?
What's a grid?
408
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,487
Well, will you let me
just check the scale?
409
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,489
All right, an inch
is a foot and a half,
410
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:47,751
and my finger's
three inches.
411
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:49,666
How do you know that?
412
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:52,016
My finger's always
been three inches.
413
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,931
Oh, Henry, will you get
your three-inch finger out
414
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,324
and tell me?
415
00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:59,023
All right, now, here's
what I want you to do.
416
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:02,897
I want you to take
one and a half steps
to your right.
417
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:13,299
Good. Okay...
418
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,214
Now, that ought
to put you safely
419
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:18,129
in the heart
of downtown Berlin.
420
00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:19,566
-Berlin?
-Yeah.
421
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:21,785
What are you talkin' about?
422
00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:24,832
This is a World War II
surplus map.
423
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,355
Trapper, don't move!
424
00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:28,531
You're damn right
I won't!
425
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:29,619
Here you go, sir.
426
00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:35,277
-Trapper.
-Yeah.
427
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,236
Don't make a move.
428
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,063
Six inches in
any direction
429
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,109
and you'll get home
sooner than any of us.
430
00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:42,980
Anything I can do?
431
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:46,680
I hope not, Father.
432
00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:49,291
-Where's O'Brien?
-Wait for it.
433
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,337
-There you go.
434
00:22:49,455 --> 00:22:52,458
Trapper!
435
00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:55,461
Just in time for the
Little League game.
436
00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:57,201
HENRY:
I'm sorry about the map.
437
00:23:03,643 --> 00:23:05,209
Colonel Blake?
438
00:23:08,299 --> 00:23:11,694
HENRY:
Sister Theresa.
439
00:23:11,738 --> 00:23:15,524
Kim! Kim!
440
00:23:21,617 --> 00:23:24,054
She came to me
looking for her son.
441
00:23:24,098 --> 00:23:25,795
I took a chance.
442
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,108
Buy you a drink, Trap?
443
00:24:20,676 --> 00:24:22,722
Who needs a kid that...
444
00:24:22,765 --> 00:24:24,898
wanders off
into minefields?
445
00:24:24,941 --> 00:24:26,900
Right.
446
00:24:28,771 --> 00:24:30,904
Back home he'd
probably be...
447
00:24:30,947 --> 00:24:33,036
probably be crossing
against the lights.
448
00:24:34,385 --> 00:24:35,474
Come on.
449
00:24:47,616 --> 00:24:49,531
Ah, my wife,
she was terrific.
450
00:24:49,575 --> 00:24:51,533
She really came through.
451
00:24:51,577 --> 00:24:54,101
Ah, they don't write wives
like that anymore.
452
00:24:54,144 --> 00:24:56,059
Hey, guys.
453
00:24:56,103 --> 00:24:57,365
Uh, Kim got
off all right
454
00:24:57,408 --> 00:24:58,540
and, uh,
Sister Theresa says
455
00:24:58,584 --> 00:25:00,020
that he's gonna come
back for a visit.
456
00:25:00,063 --> 00:25:02,413
-Ah, that's nice.
-Very nice.
457
00:25:02,457 --> 00:25:05,286
Uh, sir, are you
still interested
in adopting a son?
458
00:25:05,329 --> 00:25:06,592
I've been doing
some researching.
459
00:25:06,635 --> 00:25:09,072
There's a little boy
down in, uh--
460
00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:10,770
Got anything about 5'5"?
461
00:25:10,813 --> 00:25:13,512
-Well, no, he's, uh...
-Wears dirty glasses?
462
00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:15,731
-Never shaves?
-A two-striper?
463
00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:20,040
Well, I am
a little old,
464
00:25:20,083 --> 00:25:23,130
but, uh, we could
try it for a week.
465
00:25:23,173 --> 00:25:24,740
Come on, sit down.
466
00:25:24,784 --> 00:25:29,528
Your father and I will tell
you what we did to have you.
467
00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:31,051
Cut it out.
33651
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