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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,040 So, you got a fun day ahead? 2 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,920 - Yeah. Funerals are fun. 3 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:19,920 It's all right. 4 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,360 I mean, she was my grandma, 5 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,320 but she was also an arsehole. 6 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,960 Okay, well, I think I win 7 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,920 'cause, uh, I'm finally putting Mum in the nursing home today. 8 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,960 Which is just so, so sad. Hmm. 9 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:36,000 I so wish I could help or, like, be there for you. 10 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:37,440 - Thank you. - I don't know. 11 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,800 Hey, at the risk of sounding, um, unromantic or whatever, 12 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,480 uh... wh... 13 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:43,920 - Where do you think we're at? - Um... 14 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,400 'Cause, you know, I feel like we're dancing around it a bit 15 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:47,840 and I don't wanna assume anything. 16 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:48,920 - But... 17 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,920 ..I'm really enjoying hanging out with you again. 18 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,920 Yeah, so am I. I've just... 19 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,120 I've been waiting for the dust to settle a bit 20 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:58,960 or whatever that means. 21 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,000 What does that mean? 22 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:00,520 What does that mean? 23 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,120 It's just such a big time for us both, you know, 24 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,160 and, um, like, I just wanna start it right. 25 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:08,400 I just wanna... I just wanna get it right this time. 26 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,640 - Okay. - Life's long, you know? 27 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,920 There's no rush, is there? 28 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000 - Okay. - On your right! 29 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,440 I just, um... 30 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:17,400 Oh. 31 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:18,200 Oh! 32 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:19,920 - Oh. - Okay. 33 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,400 I see. Wow. 34 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,720 - Hey, David. Hi. - Hi. 35 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,520 So this is it, then, huh? 36 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:27,600 You two. 37 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:28,400 You three. 38 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,840 Hey... Hello. 39 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,160 - It's... - Hey. 40 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,120 ..not really what it looks like. 41 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,600 - Isn't it? - I mean... 42 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,120 It's not not what it looks like, I guess. 43 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,920 I can't do double negatives. 44 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,720 She doesn't owe you... You don't have to... 45 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:41,920 It is what it is, man. 46 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,480 But what is it? 47 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:45,920 - We're friends. - We're together. 48 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,120 We are togetherly... 49 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,120 - We're friendly together. - ..friends. 50 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,440 With a dog. 51 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,920 I thought you said you couldn't be friends with exes. 52 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,920 What are you doing here? 53 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,760 Just, uh, crushing my BP. BP. PP. Personal best. 54 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:00,000 No, in Sydney, though. 55 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:00,920 No, in Sydney, though. 56 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,560 Oh, the, uh, 57 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,120 trout farm's really popping off, actually. 58 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,400 Yeah, a lot of fish in Tassie 59 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,240 are all messed up with antibiotics at the moment, 60 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,920 so people are searching for clean fish. 61 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,920 And, uh, you're looking at it. 62 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,240 - That's awesome, man. - Yeah. 63 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,560 - Congrats. - It is, actually. 64 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:18,560 Thanks. 65 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,760 Would've loved to have done it with you, though. 66 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,920 Guess I'll be the one that got away, huh? 67 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,280 - It's a fishing reference. - Fish, yeah. 68 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,080 - I got that. I got that, yeah. - Oh, yeah. I did too. 69 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,440 That is a widely known expression. 70 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,920 But by the same token, you know, 71 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,560 there's plenty more fish in the sea. 72 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,400 Not as many as you think, Gordon. 73 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,120 Not with the unsustainable fishing practices 74 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,840 out there today. 75 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:40,920 Yeah, right. 76 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,320 Yeah, sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. 77 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:47,920 Well... I guess I'll see ya. 78 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:50,600 See ya. 79 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:51,840 See ya. 80 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,120 Nobody jogs that fast. 81 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,360 Is Dad here yet? 82 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,800 He's having a little quiet moment. 83 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,440 He's grieving, darling. 84 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:24,760 Okay. 85 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,680 I kind of just assumed she'd live forever. 86 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,680 Oh, it's a tricky relationship, the mother-in-law. 87 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,680 But the rate you're going, you'll never have one. 88 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:33,920 She was your ex mother-in-law. 89 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,640 You called her a pig in lipstick. 90 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:36,800 She's family, darling, 91 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,000 and you have to show up for family once they're dead. 92 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,400 Oh, my God. Oh, God. Ooh! Sorry. 93 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,320 I couldn't pay for parking. None of the cards worked. 94 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,920 - Why? - It doesn't matter. 95 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,120 Oh! There she is! 96 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,920 I don't know what you're talking about, Lynelle. 97 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,920 She looks fabulous! 98 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,040 - Hi, Dad. - Hello, darling. 99 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,920 So, how's university? 100 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,320 I'm a doctor, Dad. Told you that. 101 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,960 Oh, yeah, yeah, no, that's what I tell everybody. 102 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,000 Wow, she's so grown up. 103 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,280 Wow, she's so grown up. 104 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,920 - One of us had to be. - Oh! 105 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,480 Insulting me at my own mother's funeral! 106 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,840 Oh, she'd be so proud of you, the old bitch. 107 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,840 - She wasn't much of a looker. 108 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:10,920 You'd have to tie a lamb chop around her neck 109 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,600 to get the dog to play with her. 110 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,360 How dare you! 111 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:16,200 I'm sorry. 112 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:18,600 - Anyway, shall we, ladies? - Oh. 113 00:04:19,399 --> 00:04:21,440 Oh, not exactly a full house, is it? 114 00:04:21,519 --> 00:04:23,360 Then again, all her friends are dead, anyhow. 115 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,800 She's probably sitting with them all in hell's food court 116 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:26,920 playing 'find the fatty'. 117 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,840 Oh, you're terrible, Lilibet. 118 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,400 Hey. 119 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,920 Hey, Mum! 120 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,560 Hey? Made it all good for ya. 121 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,320 The telly's here, controller's over here, 122 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,240 and it's got a cord too, which is good. 123 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,920 That means you'll never lose it. 124 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,880 And the chair's in the power pozzie. Hey? 125 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,880 Looks great, Heav. Good job. It's a good job. 126 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,200 Hello, boysy. Hmm. 127 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,000 It's a fucking shithole. Not happy. 128 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:00,920 It's a fucking shithole. Not happy. 129 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,800 There's no way this is 75,000 a year. 130 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,920 Where's Kingo? 131 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,920 We rehomed him, Mum, remember? 132 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:08,920 Why? 133 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,920 'Cause he's a fucking Great Dane, Mum. 134 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,520 There's no way he's gonna make the cut. 135 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,560 Have you seen any other low-key horses around here? 136 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,360 Hey, Mum, this is good. Here, look at this. 137 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,320 You've got Scrabble on Tuesdays. You love Scrabble. 138 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,920 And you've got, uh, Golden Oldies Cinema Wednesdays. 139 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,120 You get a free choc-top. 140 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,640 That's pretty good. Don't you reckon? 141 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,520 Fucking hard to keep the vibe up in here. 142 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,160 Yeah, better than at my house, though. 143 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,880 The kids are fucking losing it. 144 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,920 What? Is Katie still not back? 145 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,440 She's gone fucking mental. Have you seen the Facebook post? 146 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:36,920 Uh, no, no. 147 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,920 Ah! She's hacked my Facebook. 148 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,920 She's posted, "I'm a shit dad 149 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,280 and my dick looks like an acorn." 150 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,720 Fuck, I haven't posted anything in years 151 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,920 and all of a sudden, I drop that fuckin' clanger. 152 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,360 Right. So where is she? 153 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,480 Still shacked up with this netball guy. 154 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,920 Can't believe it. She hates netball. 155 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,920 Open the curtains, love. 156 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,560 Yeah, yeah, sorry, Mum. 157 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,000 Nursing staff to the cafeteria. 158 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,000 Nursing staff to the cafeteria. 159 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,920 Nursing staff to the cafeteria. 160 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,880 They said Garden View. This is bin view. 161 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,720 This is fuckin' bullshit. 162 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,920 I'm gonna go and speak to someone. I'll be back, Mum. 163 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,720 I'm sure it's better from the bed. 164 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,920 I'm sure if you... lie down... 165 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,120 Oh, there's old mate. 166 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,040 Nah, okay. Doesn't matter. 167 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,640 We'll sort it out. 168 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,440 How's Chelsea? 169 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,920 She's... We actually broke up, Mum. 170 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,640 Oh, Gordy! 171 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,720 Why? 172 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:34,920 Nobody's perfect. 173 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,600 Um, I've actually been seeing a bit of Ashley. Remember her? 174 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,760 She's the one who broke your heart, though, Gordy. 175 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:42,880 She did, yeah. 176 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,920 Do you still love her? 177 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,320 I... I might. 178 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,920 I don't know, I don't know. I'm still figuring it out. 179 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,920 I think I do too. 180 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,920 What's that? 181 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,920 A cup of tea would be lovely. 182 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,280 Um... 183 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,000 Hey, Mum, you'll be okay here, won't you? 184 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,720 Hey, Mum, you'll be okay here, won't you? 185 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,920 We'll wait and see what your father has to say. 186 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,000 Yeah, okay. 187 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,560 I'll get you some tea. 188 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,320 Yeah, she was... she was firm but fair. 189 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,880 Mostly firm. 190 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,200 She was quick with the wooden spoon, 191 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,560 but, um, never left a mark, 192 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,680 so... hard to prove. 193 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,240 Yeah, but, you know, um, 194 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,920 you couldn't say that she wasn't punctual. 195 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,160 Yeah, and she was, um... 196 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,920 - Two. Two. - ..a very well... 197 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,080 - ..put-together lady. 198 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,400 - Always looked nice, so... 199 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,920 Anyway, um, I think that my dad, Stuart, her son, 200 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,320 would like to take it away, so... 201 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,160 I'll take it from here. Don't go anywhere, Ash. 202 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,440 - You know... - Oh. 203 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,040 ..my dear old mum, 204 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,800 she was famously not well-liked. 205 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:49,920 It's true. 206 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,920 We had to tie a lamb chop around her neck 207 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,840 just to get the dog to play with her. 208 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,360 You know, Mum would have hated 209 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:00,000 a room full of sad sacks at her send-off, 210 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,920 a room full of sad sacks at her send-off, 211 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,280 so let's take it up a notch a bit, shall we? 212 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,200 Hit it. 213 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,600 ♪ "Is That All There Is" ♪ 214 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,680 I remember when I was a little girl. 215 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:14,920 Our house caught on fire. 216 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,280 I'll never forget the look on my father's face 217 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,400 as he gathered me up in his arms, 218 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:24,240 raced through the burning building, out onto the pavement. 219 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,440 And I stood there, shivering in my pajamas, 220 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,560 and watched the whole world go up in flames. 221 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,919 And when it was over, I said to myself, 222 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,480 is that all there is to a fire? 223 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,600 Is that all there is? 224 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:46,360 ♪ Is that all there is? ♪ 225 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:50,760 ♪ If that's all there is, my friend ♪ 226 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:54,920 ♪ Then let's keep dancing ♪ 227 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,040 ♪ Let's break out the booze... ♪ 228 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,200 - Oh! 229 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,000 - Oh! - Oh, God! 230 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:00,600 - Oh! - Oh, God! 231 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,920 - Oh, God, Mum! Oh! 232 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,280 - What have you done, Ash? - Oh! 233 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,880 Who the fuck put her in those hideous slacks?! 234 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,280 Which room did that one have? 235 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,680 Good morning to you too. 236 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,400 That's confidential. The family doesn't know yet. 237 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:23,800 Can I help you? 238 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:24,600 Yeah. 239 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,200 Uh, I would like my mum, Dawnley Crapp, 240 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,920 to be placed on a waiting list 241 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,360 for something a little bit better. 242 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,400 We chose Garden View from the package, 243 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,480 and it's a fuckin', excuse me, bin view. 244 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:36,960 - Bin view? - Yeah. 245 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,760 And if you think we're gonna leave our mum 246 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,000 in a room next to a fuckin', excuse me, rubbish dump, 247 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,920 you've got another thing coming. 248 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,840 There's a garden next to the bins, 249 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,560 which is beautifully maintained. 250 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,240 You agreed to the accommodation when you signed the contract. 251 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,400 Yeah, not happening. 252 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,600 Listen, I've spotted something much nicer. 253 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,320 It's got a bit of a mountain view. 254 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,680 It's over on the east wing. 255 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,480 It's nice and close to the tea station. 256 00:09:57,560 --> 00:10:00,000 That's Mabel's room. She lives there. 257 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,120 That's Mabel's room. She lives there. 258 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:01,920 How long's she got? 259 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,680 Excuse me? 260 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,800 Come on, Val. You work here. 261 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,920 You roughly know how long each one of them has. 262 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,360 Oh, fuckin' no, thanks. 263 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:10,760 Oh, fuckin' here we go. 264 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:11,560 - Jesus! - Yeah. 265 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:12,920 - Here we go. - Are you all right? 266 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,600 What are you doing here, huh? She's my fuckin' mum. 267 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:16,880 I'm fuckin' checking on her. 268 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,920 We have... We have residents here who are sleeping. 269 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:19,920 Checking on her! 270 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,560 She's checking on the fuckin' inheritance, 271 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:22,680 more like it. 272 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,800 - Look at her. - Oh, that is fuckin' rich! 273 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,920 Stop. Stop! 274 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000 She wants to be fuckin' rich. 275 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,400 I've done more for your mother... 276 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:29,920 - Oh, have ya? - ..than you ever fucking have. 277 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,920 Oh, have ya? Have ya, yeah? 278 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,200 And your deadshit fucking brother. 279 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,920 I mean, she was problematic, 280 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,920 but, my God, she would have laughed at that. 281 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,920 She had a very dark sense of humor. 282 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,440 She probably would have. 283 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,400 Also, darling, you were incredible up there. 284 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,720 You still got it. 285 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,960 That review in The Age was absolutely wrong. 286 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:53,240 Oh, why would you bring that up now, Lynelle? Fuck that review! 287 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,920 Uh, where's Lee gone? 288 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,480 Oh, he's got his big photo shoot today. 289 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:00,000 Oh, not weird. Okay, um, I've got to go. 290 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000 Oh, not weird. Okay, um, I've got to go. 291 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,800 You're not coming to the wake? 292 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,320 No, Mum. I have work. 293 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,360 I'm not even sure why you're going. She hated you. 294 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,760 She said you turned Dad gay. 295 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:11,800 Did not. 296 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,320 Actually, Derek Webbers in Grade 5 turned me gay. 297 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,240 Besides, he's bisexual, aren't you, Stuart? 298 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,800 How much longer are you in town for? 299 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,920 Oh, just a few days, love. 300 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,920 I've got a cruise to Vanuatu next week. 301 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,480 Three shows a night. 302 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,080 Actually, I've got a lot of new material 303 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,320 now that I'm an orphan. 304 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,480 I'll probably dig up one of those red curly wigs. 305 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:32,720 Hey, Lynny tells me that you've got a new boyfriend 306 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,080 and apparently he's got a very pretty bum. 307 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,040 Honestly, if they had a child together, 308 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,640 it would just be a big bottom with eyes on it. 309 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,040 Thank you. 310 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,120 Here you go, Flash. 311 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,880 Hey. Thank you. 312 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,440 Oh, oi. She's the one who's got the Mountain Suite. Mabel. 313 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,920 She's been here for ages. Any day, I reckon. 314 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,200 Oh, do you, mate? Is that what you reckon? 315 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,880 Yes, yes, I do, Katherine. 316 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:04,920 We're fine for a cuppa. 317 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,200 - Oh, that's good. - Thanks so much. 318 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,000 You're not gonna get your fucking mother a cup of tea? 319 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,640 There's another really nice one. 320 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,680 - It's called Terrace Views. - Mm-hm. 321 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,560 It's got a spa, full hoist situation, 322 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,360 but Pearl that's in it, fit as a fiddle. 323 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,920 - I don't know why she's here. - Dawn. 324 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,160 Family must be fucking sick of her. 325 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,440 - Look at this. - I guess. 326 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,160 - Look! - Oh! Ahh! 327 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,800 - Our cruise! 328 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,120 Oh, yeah, nice. 329 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,400 Any opportunity to remind her who to leave the money to. 330 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,600 - Fuck off. - Can you stop it, you two? 331 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,160 Paramedics to room nine. 332 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:33,840 Heard you dumped Chelsea. 333 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:34,920 Yeah. 334 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,920 Jesus, Gordon. 335 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,160 You're so fucking broken. Come on, Dawn. 336 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,880 Let's go find you some new mates 337 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,920 so we don't have to sit here and listen to this shit. 338 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,920 Yeah, don't listen to her, Mum. She's full of shit. 339 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,400 - Suck a dick. - Fuck off. 340 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,280 Don't listen to her, mate. She's not entirely wrong, mate. 341 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,320 I am a bit broken. As are you. 342 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,840 I don't think Mum and Dad had exactly the healthiest marriage, 343 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,000 you know what I mean? 344 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,000 Mate, it's not the people. It's marriage. 345 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:00,920 Mate, it's not the people. It's marriage. 346 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,840 Honestly, in this day and fucking age, 347 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:06,080 how are we still trying to flog monogamy off as a thing? 348 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,800 I mean, haven't we evolved past this? 349 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,240 Obviously not, mate, because people are... are meeting 350 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,840 and falling in love and getting married every fucking day. 351 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:13,960 And it looks quite nice. 352 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,360 - Really? -Yeah. -Does it? - Yeah. 353 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,600 Do me and Katie look nice, do we? 354 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:18,400 No. 355 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,320 'Cause that's how it fucking ends up. 356 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,320 I know I give you shit, Flashlight, 357 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,600 but you've played a smart innings, mate. 358 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,440 Just keep your nose clean. Stay out of it. People change. 359 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:29,920 Women change. 360 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,520 You okay? 361 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,400 Have we done the right thing? 362 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,200 Mate, what choice did we have? 363 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,720 She was gonna set fire to the house or flood it 364 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,160 or, you know, have a fall. 365 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,120 Oh. 366 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,360 I just fucking hate leaving her here, mate. 367 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,360 Come on, mate. 368 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,040 Ohh! 369 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,040 Oh, fucking suck it up, you cocksucker pussy! 370 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,200 Oh, yeah! Really nice! 371 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,200 Fucking acorn dick bitch! 372 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,960 No one's gonna wanna fuck you! Dick cheese isn't hot, mate! 373 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,920 Go and trim your fucking hooves for netball, cunt! 374 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,040 - Hey. - Alistair! 375 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:24,960 What did you do? 376 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:26,640 - Sorry. - Excuse me? 377 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,840 Pearl with the nice terrace room, she died. What did you do? 378 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,040 I didn't do anything, you mad unit. She was in great nick. 379 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,200 Well, she's not anymore. 380 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,720 Oh, that's really sad. 381 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,920 Hey, completely unrelated. 382 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,920 Natural redhead? 383 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:42,960 What?! 384 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,560 Uh, sorry, I've just been curious all day. 385 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,360 - Give it a rest, mate. - No, I'm serious. 386 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:47,800 Yes. 387 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,560 Absolutely gorgeous. Spot on. 388 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,880 - Don't you reckon? - Mm-hm. Yeah. 389 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,600 - Really goes with the uniform. - It's lovely. 390 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:54,920 - Brings the eyes out. - Mm-hm. 391 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,040 Hm. 392 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,600 Val, let's talk terraces, yeah? 393 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,000 Okay, but don't touch me. 394 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,920 Okay, but don't touch me. 395 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,320 - Yeah. 396 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,520 Dr. Molden, your 4:30 is Charlie. 397 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,720 - Okay. - Have you checked your email? 398 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:18,760 No. 399 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,000 You might wanna have a look before he comes in. 400 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,920 It's from the oncologist. 401 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,920 Oh, bum. Okay. 402 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,600 Thank you. Hmm. 403 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,000 So that's it, then? 404 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,560 Well, it is more advanced now, 405 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:37,200 and so it wouldn't be so much about treating the cancer 406 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,840 as it would just be extending your time here. 407 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,760 No. No, no, no. 408 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,560 No, I'm done. I'm cooked. 409 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:48,840 Right, so you don't wanna try any more treatment? 410 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,160 Well, since Emily died, I haven't really felt like myself. 411 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,040 I think I'd better let it run its course. 412 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,960 Go see Emily again. 413 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,000 Well, I'm really... 414 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,280 Well, I'm really... 415 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,520 I'm really sorry that it's not happier news. 416 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,920 Please just reach out any time if you need anything, okay? 417 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,120 I appreciate that. 418 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:13,920 Okay, Charlie. 419 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:19,280 If I could go back to be your age with Emily... 420 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,120 ..I'd give anything. 421 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,040 It's later than you think, isn't it? Hmm? 422 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:32,600 I hope you find your girl again. 423 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:33,920 Me too. 424 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,080 And I hope she's how she was 425 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,360 before she put all that weight on. 426 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,120 - I mean, you saw her. - Mm. 427 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:44,920 She was massive. 428 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,880 Yeah, all right. 429 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,960 You're in great shape, though. You go to the gym, do you? 430 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:54,920 - Um... - Pilates? 431 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,840 Sometimes. 432 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:00,000 See ya. 433 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:00,680 See ya. 434 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,120 Well, how much is it? 435 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,920 120K a year. 436 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,480 Oh, Christ. 437 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,360 Um, okay, well, just... just get her in there 438 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,400 and, um, we'll figure it out later. 439 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,920 - Yeah, righto. 440 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,920 Yeah, mate, I'm coming! Fuckin' hell! 441 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,520 - Hi! - Oh, Ashy, hey. 442 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,400 - Hi, Elvis. - Hey! 443 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,480 - Unreal, yeah. 444 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:37,920 Oh, your phone does work. 445 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:38,920 Yeah. What's up? 446 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,240 I've just sent you some texts today. 447 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,560 - You didn't get back.. - Sorry. 448 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,040 - I felt a bit like a stalker. - No, no. I'm sorry, Ash. 449 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,600 It was a really full-on day with Mum and with Heavy. 450 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:47,840 So, sorry. 451 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,120 Do you have time to get a drink? 452 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,320 I actually can't. I'm sorry. 453 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,920 I've gotta go to Brett's bucks weird party thing. 454 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,760 Um, can you guess the theme? 455 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,720 Um... So, I can't. 456 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,920 But are you all good? 457 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 Yes, I... I am. 458 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,920 Yes, I... I am. 459 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,760 - Yeah? - I'm good. 460 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:04,960 Uh... 461 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,920 And this, like, doesn't feel like the right moment for this, 462 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,320 but maybe, see, that is the point. 463 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,360 Like, maybe there's just... 464 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,120 There's no right moment. 465 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:14,920 For? 466 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,520 For us. 467 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,200 To start... again. 468 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,920 I've just... I've just been thinking 469 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,600 about our conversation this morning 470 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,840 and... I am ready. 471 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,400 I'm all in. Yeah. 472 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,320 I know... I know that's a lot. 473 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,000 But, um, life isn't long. 474 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,680 It's... very short, actually. 475 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:41,960 And, um... 476 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,000 So, yeah, I just... 477 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,400 I'm ready. 478 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,480 Please say something now. 479 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,640 - Of course, yeah. - Yeah. Your turn. 480 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,720 Absolu... That's beautiful, Ash. Yeah. 481 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,520 Yes. Yeah! 482 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,600 Can we talk more about it tomorrow, though? 483 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,000 Is that... Is that... Can we do... 484 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,080 - Is it all right? - Oh, God, yeah. 485 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,640 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 486 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,480 - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm around. 487 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,640 Yeah. 488 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,000 - I'm sorry. Are you okay? - I'm so good. 489 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,040 - Oh, good. - You kidding? 490 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,680 - Come here. Come here. - Yeah. 491 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,480 Mmm! 492 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,520 - Okay. 493 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,800 - Okay. - All right. 494 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:24,920 Text me. 495 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,360 - Yeah, I will. - And have fun. 496 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,280 - How can I not? - You look great. 497 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,160 I'm feeling good, you know? 498 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,760 - Come on. 499 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,040 I've got this going on. 500 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000 A little bit of this. You know? 501 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,720 - Yeah, okay. - All right. 502 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,280 - Okay. - Okay. 503 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,240 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 504 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,680 Gordon, we're leaving! 505 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,440 Gordon! 506 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,640 - Oh, Gordy. 507 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,240 Oh, shit. Is he okay? 508 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,920 He's having a panic attack. 509 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,320 - What do we do? - I know what to do. 510 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,480 - Just lie him down. - Okay. 511 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:27,920 - Lie him down. - Gordy, just on your knees. 512 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,520 - You're all right. Lie down. - Lie him down. 513 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:30,680 - Oh, Gordy. 514 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,280 - Are you okay? Are you okay? 515 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,480 Are you okay? What are you doing? What are you doing? 516 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,440 - Shh! Shh! 517 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,800 What are you doing, Bretty? 518 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,240 I'm a weighted blanket here to calm you down. 519 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,680 - You okay, Gordon? - Yeah. 520 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:42,920 - Okay. - Catch yourself. 521 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,000 Yeah. 522 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:45,440 - You ran away. - Yeah. 523 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,880 - But you're okay. - Okay. 524 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:47,920 - Yeah. - All right? 525 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:48,920 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 526 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,880 Now come have small-batch whiskey. 527 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:51,920 Okay, yeah. 528 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,920 - And celebrate love. - Okay. 529 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,160 - Okay? - Okay. 530 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,400 Okay. Hop up now. That's good. 531 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:57,800 - Ooh, yeah. Hop up now. - Leave him. 532 00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,200 - You okay? - He'll get up by himself. 533 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,000 - Will he, though? - Yeah. Come on. 534 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:00,680 - Will he, though? - Yeah. Come on. 535 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,000 - Pretty squashy. - Brett, that was amazing. 536 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,600 Okay. You okay? Oh, okay, that's good. 537 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,760 - I mean, that was amazing. - Yeah. 538 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,200 - Whoo! Ahh. Okay. - Ahh! That's good. Mm! 539 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,400 And this one. Hey, mate. Can you get off your phone? 540 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,960 Yeah, yeah, I will soon. I've gotta say good night. 541 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,920 - Yeah, it's Gordon. - This is... This is fun. 542 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,440 - He's being a dick. I know. 543 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,720 Okay, Panicky Pete, what's... 544 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:25,920 No. 545 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,240 What happened? 546 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,720 Nothing. Nothing bad happened. 547 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,920 It's just she just came in 548 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,880 and she said that she's all in now. 549 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,480 She came to your place of work... 550 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,280 Yeah. 551 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,920 ..to tell you that she was all in 552 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,760 and then she left? 553 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:38,880 - Yeah. - That's crazy. 554 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:39,920 It's not crazy. 555 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,920 It was just, uh, you know, it was quite sweet. 556 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,440 Then why did you have a panic attack, Gordy? 557 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,240 It's been a bit of a big day, Chi. 558 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,160 All right? Can we talk about you, please? 559 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,560 - Oh, yeah. I'd love that. - Great. 560 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:51,400 - Okay. - Go on. 561 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:52,920 Yeah, well, Andre and I are housemates 562 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,520 who have sex with other people. 563 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:55,920 You know, the marriage is so open, 564 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,920 you can hear the wind whistling through it. 565 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,200 - But can I complain? - Yeah. 566 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:00,000 - No. - Oh. 567 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:00,280 - No. - Oh. 568 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,200 I'm getting more cock 569 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,920 than you can poke a stick at. 570 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,080 And, you know, my three boys 571 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,640 have two relatively happy parents under the one roof, 572 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,360 and they're none the wiser. 573 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:14,000 And come graduation, we'll officially call it quits. 574 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,280 - Graduation? - Mm-hm. 575 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,240 - Of the youngest? - Mm-hm. 576 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,040 That's a ten-year sentence. 577 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,880 So, well, where do you stand on love, then? 578 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,160 I think I was in it, and... and now I'm not. 579 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,440 - Hey, marriage! - 580 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,840 Hey, marriage! 581 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:35,920 - Oh. - Marriage! 582 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,400 - Let's drink. - Oh, yep. 583 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,920 - Let's drink. Come on. - Oop-oop! Marriage. 584 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,960 When I cry, he comes to me. 585 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:51,480 But when I pretend to cry, he doesn't. He knows. 586 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:52,720 - Hi! 587 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,320 - Oh, my baby's here. - Hi, everybody! 588 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,200 Just in time! We were just about to make a toast! 589 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:58,320 - Ooh! 590 00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,520 - Wow. - Wait, wait, wait. 591 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,000 So you... you actually kept this dog? 592 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,160 So you... you actually kept this dog? 593 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:05,000 What? Of course I did. He's my Cillian. 594 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:09,320 Mum, you've got the same dog as me, but able-bodied. 595 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,320 And you called it Cillian? 596 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,920 Don't go there, girlfriend. 597 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,760 - I'll go first. - Okay. 598 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:18,640 To my darling dead, cunt, bitch, pig of a mother, Noelene. 599 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,920 I can't wait to see how much the flat is worth. 600 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,120 - Ooh! I'll go next. 601 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:28,200 To having my beautiful family all in one room again. 602 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:32,120 My ex-husband, Flossy, who I will always love. 603 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,920 My life partner, Lee. 604 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,920 And my truly incredible son, Cillian. 605 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,040 My twin flame. 606 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,080 - Hmm. - Hmm! 607 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,600 - Me. Me. - Hmm! 608 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,120 To the lovely policeman who let me come home, 609 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,000 and who I truly believe understood 610 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,280 what I was trying to achieve, 611 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,080 and made the whole thing as painless as possible. 612 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:50,480 - What? - Oh, look. 613 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,000 We really don't have to rehash the day's, you know... 614 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,920 I had my photography project today. 615 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,400 Unity and nudity. 616 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,480 Of course there was some nudity. 617 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,000 It was just... It was just a simple misunderstanding. 618 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,480 It was just... It was just a simple misunderstanding. 619 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,920 Apparently we're too close to a preschool or something. 620 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,520 - So a complaint was made. 621 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:06,920 And... 622 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,920 ..absurdly I've ended up on the National Sex Offender Registry. 623 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,040 Sorry, what? 624 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:13,440 It sounds much worse than it is. 625 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,560 And the ankle bracelet is surprisingly lightweight. 626 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,880 Oh, anyway, blah, blah, nanny state. 627 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,520 Your turn, Ashley. 628 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,920 Wow, I mean, uh... 629 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,120 - Oh, for fuck's... 630 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,680 The battery's running low. 631 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,280 Put that in the hole. 632 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:30,920 - 633 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,920 Whoo! And there... Ugh. 634 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,440 Why do they make it so bloody short? 635 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,080 I pray, continue. 636 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,880 - Nah, I'm good. - Come on, come on. 637 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,320 - Oh, f... - Come on, darling. 638 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:47,840 Okay, um... 639 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,160 To being brave and having no regrets. 640 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,200 - Ohhh! Hmm. Mmm. - Oh! Cryptic, do tell. 641 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,920 It's nothing, I just... 642 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,920 I just told Gordon how I feel today, 643 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,000 and it feels really good, 644 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:00,080 and it feels really good, 645 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,360 and so, yeah, ball is 100% in his court. 646 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,200 - Fantastic, Ashley. - Oh, I love it! 647 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:06,200 Yeah. 648 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,520 Well, where is he now? 649 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:08,680 Get him to come over! 650 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,120 I can't wait to meet the man inseminating my daughter. 651 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,320 Stop, Dad. No, he's on a bucks. 652 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,760 Macho bullshit. Why aren't you there? 653 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,000 Well, no, it's a whole thing. 654 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:19,200 It's, like, Elvis-themed. 655 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:20,680 - They're all in... - Stop it. 656 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,200 - What? - Stop it. 657 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,160 My show on the ship has an Elvis segment. 658 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:25,960 Ohh! 659 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:27,760 I do a tribute to all the kings. 660 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:28,840 I start with Tutankhamen, 661 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,240 then I finish on King Charles. 662 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,000 Oh! I've got the whole look upstairs. 663 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,040 - Oh! - Oh. 664 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:35,520 - You simply must. - Oh. 665 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,040 - No, you must. No, no, no. - Yes. 666 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,920 'Cause I can do all the temporary hemming. 667 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:39,920 Really? 668 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,960 No, I shouldn't. I couldn't. 669 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,440 Why not? They're your friends too, darling. Hmm? 670 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,400 You must. 671 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,560 Why... why am I looking at you for advice? 672 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,080 I don't know. 673 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,680 But I liked it. 674 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,080 Because when my clone comes to me... 675 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,080 Okay, yeah. 676 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,280 ..I'm going for his solar plexus. 677 00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,080 - 'Cause that's the weak spot. - Is it? 678 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:00,000 - Yes, but he would know that. - A clone? 679 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:00,920 - Yes, but he would know that. - A clone? 680 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,040 - So he'd block me. - Here we go. 681 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:03,400 - So I'd come at his kidneys. - Here we go. 682 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,000 - Oh, kill me now. - Ladies. 683 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:07,920 How's it going? Oh, congratulations. 684 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,240 Why are you guys all dressed as Elvis? It's so random. 685 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,840 It is random, and, uh, it's our boy Bretty here, 686 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:13,920 sort of his bucks thing, 687 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,920 and I don't know, his missus loves Elvis? 688 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,000 She calls me the King. 689 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,440 - There you go. - Cute! 690 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,920 Our girl, Penny, here, she's getting married. 691 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,520 So you guys should buy us some drinks. 692 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,320 Oh, yeah? 693 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,920 One in three marriages ends in divorce. 694 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,120 Not mine, so... 695 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,200 - Confident. 696 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:30,920 Roll the dice, roll the dice. 697 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,000 - Are you two together? - Yuck. 698 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,040 - Gross. - Oh, fuck, no. 699 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:34,560 - Don't say gross. - You are gross. 700 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,000 Ooh, defensive much? 701 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:37,920 Ooh, 23 much? 702 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,280 Okay, I'm 31. 703 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:41,280 - Oh. You look really good. - I would have said... 704 00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:42,480 - That's really... - ..mid to late 20s. 705 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,880 - Thank you. - Oh, my God. 706 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:44,920 Oh, my God, she's stunning. 707 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:45,920 - She's gorgeous. - She is, yeah. 708 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,920 What is this? What is this? 709 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,600 It's your proposal fail. 710 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:50,520 Fuck! Knock it off, cunt. 711 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:51,960 - Are you right? - What do you mean? 712 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,560 - They asked if you were married. - Yeah, I'm not. 713 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,200 But I could be, right? End of story. 714 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,400 Yeah, well, not to her, so... 715 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,200 No. But it could be to her. 716 00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,920 She came back to me, actually, today. 717 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:00,920 - Oh, really? Okay. - So, yeah, yeah. 718 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,360 She did, actually. So, not a fail. 719 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,800 No offense, babe, but she's really beautiful. 720 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,280 No offense, babe, she is. I agree. 721 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,040 No, but she's not gonna marry you. 722 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:10,920 You don't know. Fuck this shit, man. 723 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,160 I might get married to her, 724 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,920 and if we do, it'll be stronger than ever. 725 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,240 - Right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 726 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:16,600 Better than whatever you've got going on 727 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,800 with your Sydney boyfriend, wanker, fucking deck shoe, 728 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,200 fucking slim-fit chino. 729 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,440 - Electric bikes. - Claws out. 730 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:22,560 - Don't know what they're doing. - Okay. 731 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,840 But they're probably not wearing socks. 732 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:24,920 Okay. That's enough. 733 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,080 Why are boys not wearing socks anymore? 734 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,680 Tequila makes him a little bit mental, a bit mouthy. 735 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,080 Hey, hey. I actually kind of like it when he's mental. 736 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,000 The correct answer. That'll get you a shot. 737 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,520 - Thank you. - All right. 738 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:35,880 Thanks, Daddy. Ha! 739 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:36,920 You're welcome, Mummy. 740 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:42,200 Voila?! 741 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,360 I love it. I love it! 742 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,400 See how the cape hides the bulldog clips. 743 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,280 Is it silly? Is it too much? 744 00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:50,880 No, darling, it's fabulous, but, hey, that wig 745 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,920 costs four thousand bucks, so just be careful with it. 746 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:53,920 - All right? 747 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,400 Oh! Brett just told me where they are. 748 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,160 - He doesn't mind. - Go get your man, Ashy. 749 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,000 - Go, go, go, go, go! - 750 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:00,920 - Go, go, go, go, go! - 751 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,840 Oh, Mummy! 752 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,480 You can't tell me what to do anymore now, Mummy. 753 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,920 - Oh, for fuck's sake. 754 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,040 - Oh, Uber's here. Bye. 755 00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:13,560 Bye, love. Have fun. 756 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:14,800 Yeah. Thank you. 757 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:17,920 Ohh! 758 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,640 ♪ Al Green's "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" ♪ 759 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:30,920 I would like a tattoo. 760 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,720 - Get it on my arm. - Oh. 761 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,760 Hey. Hey. 762 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,920 - Hmm, can you kiss me? - Um... 763 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:56,280 No, no, no, no. Sorry, sorry. It's okay, it's okay. 764 00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,920 ♪ I can think of younger days... ♪ 765 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,400 ♪ When I lived for my life ♪ 766 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:11,920 ♪ Was everything a man could want to do ♪ 767 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:18,880 ♪ I could never see ♪ 768 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:24,080 ♪ Tomorrow ♪ 769 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:29,200 ♪ I was never told ♪ 770 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:35,000 ♪ About the sorrow ♪ 771 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,760 ♪ And ♪ 772 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,840 ♪ How can you mend ♪ 773 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,600 ♪ A broken heart? ♪ 774 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,200 ♪ Oh ♪ 775 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,280 ♪ How can you stop the rain ♪ 776 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,720 ♪ From falling down? ♪ 777 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,000 ♪ Tell me, how can you stop ♪ 778 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,920 ♪ Tell me, how can you stop ♪ 779 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,120 ♪ The sun from shining? ♪ 780 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:09,800 ♪ Oooh ♪ 781 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,400 ♪ What makes the world ♪ 782 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,760 ♪ Go round ♪ 783 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,280 ♪ And ♪ 784 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:22,000 ♪ How can you mend ♪ 785 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:27,360 ♪ This broken man? ♪ 786 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:28,440 ♪ Yeah ♪ 55304

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