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♪ A cottage small
is all I'm after ♪
2
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♪ Not one that's
spacious and wide ♪
3
00:00:56,621 --> 00:01:00,234
♪ A house that brings you joy and laughter ♪
4
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:04,586
♪ And the ones
you love inside ♪
5
00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:08,764
♪ Some like the high road, I like the low road ♪
6
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:12,376
♪ Free from the
care and strife ♪
7
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,900
♪ Sounds corny and seedy
8
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,859
♪ But yes indeedy
9
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,557
♪ Give me
10
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:22,082
♪ The simple life
11
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:33,049
How about that?Weren't they wonderful?
12
00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:34,659
Hey, whaddaya say
out there?
13
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:35,791
How about that, huh?
14
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:36,922
Let's hear it out there.
15
00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:38,837
The lovely Miller Sisters.
16
00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:41,492
See you later, girls.
Go to my dressing room
and lie down.
17
00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:44,974
They really are wonderful,
18
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,845
and it's a lot of fun
traveling with them.
19
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,109
Of course, they keep usin separate cages.
20
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,633
Not that I can't be trusted.
21
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,156
I happen to be married
22
00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:54,984
to a womanwho's a terrific sport.
23
00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,290
She even looks
like Joe DiMaggio.
24
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:01,817
Joe DiMaggio? Yeah,
she's so ugly that--
25
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,688
Anybody out there,or have we been captured?
26
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,127
But all kidding aside,
27
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,478
I just want to sayto all you guys and nurses
28
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,915
what a thrill it is to behere in Korea with you.
29
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:15,222
I mean, we're allin this together, right?
30
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:22,229
That guy's first.
Get this guy inside.
31
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,100
We're debride his leg
under local.
32
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,710
Give him a third of
a grain of morphine.
33
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:26,885
Hold on, Pierce. A quarterof a grain's enough.
34
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,191
-A third.
-Stop!
35
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,584
Are you going
over my head?
36
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:30,976
No, just through
the hole in it.
37
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,108
-Go ahead.
-Now you hold it!
38
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:33,196
And that's an order!
39
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,285
Move!
That's a threat!
40
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,244
This happens to bea gold oak leaf.
41
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,550
I thought it was a little
big for dandruff.
42
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,204
Look, Frank, he's a big guy.He's in severe pain.
43
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,945
He can handle
a third of a grain.
44
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:44,990
If not, there's an
anesthesiologist inside
45
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,818
to support breathing.
Go do what I said.
46
00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,124
I'll take responsibility.
47
00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,517
Informed opinion
says a quarter.
48
00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:51,780
Informed opinion wasn't
lying on a stretcher
49
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,347
with a boot full
of blood.
50
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:56,219
You've insulted mein the presence of others
51
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:57,612
for the last time.
52
00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:00,092
Don't forget
your hat, Frank.
53
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:04,706
So this guy with laryngitis,
54
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,621
he goes to the doctor'soffice, he walks in,
55
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:09,450
and he sees a beautiful nurse.But I mean beautiful.
56
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,278
I mean, she's built
like a brick hospital.
57
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,324
Ha ha ha. Down, Charlie.
58
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,978
So he walks in,the guy with laryngitis,
59
00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,762
and he says,
"Is the doctor in?"
60
00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:20,374
And the nurse winks and says "No, come on in."
61
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,768
Yeah, but really, though,
62
00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:26,945
I know how hard you medicsand nurses really work.
63
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:29,078
I really do. Although...
64
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:31,080
I wouldn't mind being paidfor playin' doctor, though.
65
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,603
-I can tell you that.
66
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,170
How am I doin'?
67
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,867
Not too good, Trapper.
68
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,913
His BP's low.
69
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,828
His pulse is rapid.
70
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,482
Give me another
unit of blood.
71
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,135
I gotta go
into his chest.
72
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,441
This could take a while.
73
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:46,965
I hope he doesn't
have a late date.
74
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,663
Is it absolutely
necessary to make
75
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,534
bad jokes while
you're operating?
76
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:51,753
Absolutely.
77
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:54,408
-Scalpel.
-Scalpel.
78
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:56,366
I've found it invaluableto make bad jokes
79
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,325
ever since I didmy first autopsy
80
00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,978
when my colleagues puta kidney under my cap.
81
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:04,548
-Sponge.
-Sponge.
82
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,030
Okay, how am I
doin' now?
83
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:10,641
You're fine.
He's in trouble.
84
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,129
Can I be of any help?
85
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:21,739
You can pray for meto become a better doctor
86
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:23,915
in the nextfive minutes.
87
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,308
Excuse me, Father.
88
00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:31,358
MILLER SISTERS:
♪ Why don't we do
this more often ♪
89
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:35,536
♪ Just what we're
doin' tonight ♪
90
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:40,105
♪ Gee, but it's great to get together again ♪
91
00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:43,979
♪ Why does it only happen now and then? ♪
92
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:48,636
♪ We ought to do
this more often ♪
93
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:53,118
♪ Don't you agree
that I'm right ♪
94
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:55,207
♪ We make each other laugh ♪
95
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:57,514
♪ We make each other sing ♪
96
00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:59,342
Why aren't you out thereat the switchboard?
97
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:00,952
Well, you asked me
to come in the office.
98
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,824
Well, they could phoneabout my wife at any minute.
99
00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:04,391
Well, you just spoke
to the hospital.
100
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:05,914
She hasn't even
gone into labor yet.
101
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:08,090
Don't argue with me!
102
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,787
It's bad enoughthat she's having a baby
103
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:11,441
and I can't evenbe there with her.
104
00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:12,660
Yes, sir.
105
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:17,491
Well, at least you were therefor the important part.
106
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:25,586
♪ Just what we're
doin' tonight ♪
107
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:34,464
You know that ancientjoke about the guy
108
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:37,554
who saves his regiment?Shoots the cook?
109
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,904
No, how's it go?
110
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,432
Uh, Kaplan,pass the salt.
111
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,476
No.
112
00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:47,738
I beg your pardon?
113
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:49,261
You're looking
at one dentist
114
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,611
who's not touching anything
115
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:53,309
that hasn't been checkedby the bomb squad.
116
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,398
You been taking ridesin your chair again, Kaplan?
117
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,834
You know thatmakes you dizzy.
118
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,183
Reach into my pocket.
119
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,271
I hardly know you.
120
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:00,708
My shirt pocket.
121
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,320
Those are my travel orders.
I'm going home today.
122
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,626
No kidding.
123
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:09,020
You mind if I look at thesefor drooling purposes?
124
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,805
You unfold it.
If I do it,
125
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:12,197
I could get a paper cut.
126
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,112
I'm not having any
last-minute infections.
127
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:18,769
Aren't you stretchingthings a bit?
128
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,381
I haven't even used
the latrine in 18 hours.
129
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,427
Now that's somethingI didn't have to know.
130
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:26,037
In my pocket.
131
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,693
Can't be too careful.
132
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,347
Friend of mine
got his orders,
133
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:33,131
broke his leg
the next day.
134
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,569
Got it tangled in a nurse
at his farewell party.
135
00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:38,789
Well, you got a goodpoint there, Kaplan.
136
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:39,834
Good luck.
137
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:45,883
♪ Again
138
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:53,761
♪ This couldn't
happen again ♪
139
00:06:53,761 --> 00:07:00,811
♪ This is that once
in a lifetime ♪
140
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:07,078
♪ This is the thrill divine
141
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:09,603
You're not eating,Father.
142
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,343
You know somethingI don't know?
143
00:07:11,343 --> 00:07:13,389
Something's
troubling me, Hawkeye.
144
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:15,173
Think of me asyour mother, Father.
145
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,742
May I make a confession?
146
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:21,266
As long as you don'tuse any real names.
147
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:24,226
For some time now,
I've been comparing
148
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,315
the disparity
of our callings.
149
00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:28,709
Doctor versus priest.
150
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:31,276
You fellows are
always able to see
151
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,888
the end result
of your work.
152
00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:36,586
I mean, you know
immediately
153
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,980
if you've been successful.
154
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:42,462
For me, the results
are far less tangible.
155
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:47,510
Sometimes--
most of the time--
156
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:51,732
I-I honestly don't
know whether I'm doing
any good or not.
157
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,351
I used to have a professorin med school
158
00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,440
who always said,"God cures the patients,
159
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,268
"but the doctortakes the fee."
160
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:08,488
Do you think that's true?
161
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,057
I'm able to do a lotof things in surgery
162
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,842
that I'm not reallygood enough to do.
163
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,804
Thanks, Hawkeye.
164
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:27,550
♪ But never, never again
165
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:33,861
♪ Never again
166
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,911
-Give me some suction.
-Yes, Doctor.
167
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:43,348
Feels like someone used
my eyeballs for a teabag.
168
00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:46,482
Nurse!
169
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:49,006
Trapper, you betternot be much longer.
170
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:52,967
-Clamp?
-Clamp. Thanks.
171
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,840
Okay, come on.Stay with us, will ya?
172
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,102
Hello? Hello, uh,
Bloomington, Illinois?
173
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:42,625
Uh, yes,
General Hospital?
174
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,061
You got them?
175
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:47,151
Uh, I'm calling
about Mrs. Henry Blake.
176
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,413
Uh, Maternity.
177
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:50,328
Ah, right.
She's pregnant...
178
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,113
you know, with a baby.
179
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,941
Yeah?
Well, okay, okay.
180
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:56,247
They're ringing
her room.
181
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:58,510
Boy, can you imagine?Can you imagine?
182
00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:00,556
I am becoming a fatherfor the third time.
183
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:02,863
-Oh, yes, sir.-"Oh, yes, sir" is right.
184
00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:04,604
They know what
causes that now.
185
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,998
-What are they doing?
-Hello? Yes?
186
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:09,913
I'm still holding,
operator.
187
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,611
Why am I so nervous?
188
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,352
For gosh sakes, she's gotthe best obstetrician in town,
189
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:15,876
Marv Handleman.
190
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,965
He could deliver a babywith his eyes shut.
191
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:20,489
That's the only way
I'd do it, sir.
192
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,839
Yes? What?
193
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,320
Are you sure?
194
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,061
-Uh, sir?
-What?
195
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,540
She's not there anymore.
196
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,020
What d'ya mean,she's not there anymore?
197
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,414
Uh, w-w-we'll get
right back to ya.
198
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:35,025
-I-I just--
-No, it's all right.
199
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,374
Uh, they sent her home.
200
00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:38,855
She had a false labor.
201
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,291
She had a what?
202
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,076
A false labor?
203
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,906
-Radar?
-Steady, sir.
204
00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:48,386
-I'm not gonna make it.-Steady, sir.
205
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:51,651
Just sit.
Okay.
206
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,001
Everything's
gonna be fine.
207
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,133
Would you believethat I've got a craving
208
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,874
for dill pickles?
209
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:05,752
That's the last
of the shrapnel.
210
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:08,624
Better close him fast.
211
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:10,060
Give me some 3-0 silk.
212
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,496
Right here.
213
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:12,802
I've lost the pulse.
214
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,630
I'm gonna massage
the heart.
215
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,371
Get someadrenaline ready.
216
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,332
Hang on, damn it.
217
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:22,507
Still no pulse.
218
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:23,508
Adrenaline!
219
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:24,596
Let's go! Let's go!
220
00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:25,685
It's going again.
221
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:28,339
But it's irregular.
222
00:11:30,864 --> 00:11:32,996
Oh, damn it.
223
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,986
Aah!
224
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:25,005
Yes, operator, go ahead,I can hear you.
225
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:28,269
Seven pounds,
two ounces, 21 inches?
226
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,401
What's, uh, seven pounds,two ounces?
227
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:31,620
Your son, sir.
228
00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,102
My son?
229
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,539
My wife's had a boy?
230
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,280
Well, it isn't
a girl-son, sir.
231
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,543
Your wife is
doing just fine.
232
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,327
It's the hospital.
233
00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:44,807
The hospital?
234
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:46,200
Oh, yeah.
235
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,028
Uh, listen.
236
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:50,247
Uh, tell Mildred--uh, Mrs. Blake--
237
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:53,337
that her husband Henry,uh, loves her very much.
238
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:54,948
-She didn't hear your name.-And that I'll-- What?
239
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,601
-She didn't hear your name.-Henry.
240
00:12:56,601 --> 00:13:00,388
H as in-- Never mind.She knows my name.
241
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,651
Um, just tell herthat I love her
242
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:04,131
and that I'll call her
243
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,046
and that, uh, all mylabor pains have stopped.
244
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,395
Goodbye.
245
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,973
Congratulations, sir.
246
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,801
Thanks, Radar.
247
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,455
A son, a boy.
248
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:32,768
Oh, oh!So-so-so this woman gets up
249
00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:34,465
real close to the guy
in the sailor suit,
250
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:37,642
and she says, "And so whatkind of doctor are you?"
251
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,819
Guy says "Me?
I'm a naval doctor."
252
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,690
And she says, "Boy,
when you specialize,
253
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,257
"you really specialize."
254
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,348
Ohh, so it's that
kind of a crowd, huh?
255
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,959
You really go for thesophisticated stuff, huh?
256
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:44,057
♪ I had the craziest dream
257
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:50,933
♪ Last night, yes, I did
258
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:56,678
♪ I never dreamt
it could be ♪
259
00:14:56,678 --> 00:15:00,203
♪ Yet there you were
260
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:03,554
♪ In love with me
261
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:07,819
♪ I found your lips
close to mine ♪
262
00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:09,647
♪So I kissed you ♪
263
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:13,825
♪ And you didn't
mind it at all ♪
264
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:16,089
♪ Not at all
265
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:18,395
You've never hadany children, have you?
266
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,920
Being single, it never
seemed a wise move.
267
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,663
It's too bad.It's a great feeling.
268
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:30,320
Then why do you sound
like a hit-and-run victim?
269
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,802
Me?
270
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,630
I couldn't be happier.
271
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,023
Oh, come on, Henry.
There's no disgrace
272
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,589
in admitting
you're depressed
273
00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:39,895
because you can't be
with your new baby.
274
00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:41,636
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
275
00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:44,378
Inasmuch as no umbilical
cord reaches 20,000 miles.
276
00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:51,733
Here's to your
new son, Henry.
277
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:56,346
Yeah. Yeah.
278
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,870
But let's hope I meet himbefore he gets drafted
279
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,785
and sent over here.
280
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,224
♪ Say it and make
281
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:07,357
♪ My craziest dream
282
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:14,364
♪ Come true
283
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:20,109
Let's hear it for the girls!What do you say?
284
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:22,764
How about this band?
285
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,287
They're going to do
a little number
286
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,941
for you right now,but first I gotta tell you
287
00:16:25,941 --> 00:16:27,943
-about Charlie the drummer.
288
00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:29,858
Charlie served
in World War II.
289
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,078
You remember World War II.It was in all the papers.
290
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,169
What'd he-- What'd he say?
291
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:38,823
Uh...
292
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:40,738
I didn't really hear.
293
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:43,089
One day, Charlie findshimself in a field hospital
294
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,481
with a sheet over his head.
295
00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:46,048
He pulls the sheet downand sees himself
296
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,876
being wheeled away
on a stretcher.
297
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,834
He turns to the the orderlyand says, "Where we goin'?"
298
00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:51,575
The orderly says,
"To be buried."
299
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,316
He says, "But I'm not dead."
300
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,188
The orderly says, "Wanna makea fool outta the doctor?"
301
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,581
It doesn't look good, Trapper.
302
00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,627
Hey, you did
your best.
303
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,977
Too bad
it was so lousy.
304
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,371
Hey, what's goin' on?
305
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,199
There's a rumor
you three eloped.
306
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,463
I started out
to be an architect.
307
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:11,465
Couldn't handle
the math.
308
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:12,944
Why don't you
get some rest?
309
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,990
Over here, Father.We need some cross action.
310
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:39,232
The blood pressure
is still low,
311
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:40,581
but it's better.
312
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,671
Hang another
unit of blood.
313
00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,936
What was that about not beingsure you did any good?
314
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:51,070
It's not supposed to workthat way, you know?
315
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,297
All right,now go hit the sack
316
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,952
or I'll report you to thedoctors and the architects.
317
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:08,435
I'll take care of him.Come on.
318
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:20,055
You know something?Those two could wind up--
319
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,535
Uh, yes?
320
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:26,105
Rolling Easter eggs.
321
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,896
Captain Kaplan?
Pile in, sir.
322
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,463
Move over.
323
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,335
You think I'm putting
my life in your hands?
324
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:23,945
What are you, 19?
325
00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,294
Uh, 18, sir.
326
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:27,296
My feet have corns
older than you are.
327
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,213
What is that?
A disinfectant?
328
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,737
Who knows where this
kid's hands have been?
329
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,218
Goodbye, Doctor.
330
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,133
Please, Nurse,
no offense.
331
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,614
I'm a dentist.
I know.
332
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:42,398
The mouth is
a playground for germs.
333
00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:43,965
If the tongue
weren't attached,
334
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,010
it would jump out
in a minute.
335
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,622
Is-Is it possible to
bless a jeep, Father?
336
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,145
Consider it done.
337
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:51,755
Hey, look, sir,
we better get going.
338
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:53,366
You have a plane
to catch.
339
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,150
Don't remind me.
Even as we're talking,
340
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,325
the propeller's
getting older.
341
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:59,110
Well, goodbye,
everybody.
342
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:05,595
-Lucky man.
-Certainly is.
343
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:16,737
I knew it! Did I know it?
344
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,565
Did I know-- did I say it?
345
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,175
I said it fromthe very beginning.
346
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,872
-Jinxed.
-Look,
347
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:24,701
anybody can step
on the gas instead
of the brake.
348
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:27,791
-How's the driver?
-The kid's okay.
349
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:30,490
Figures! I'm going home,I'm in pieces!
350
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:33,188
He's staying here,he didn't bust a pimple.
351
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:35,756
You know how I'm gettinghome when the time comes?
352
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,148
I'm walking!
353
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:44,243
You're notleaving me alone!
354
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,248
Would you like
a surprise, sir?
355
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,598
Yes, I would. I'd liketo be stolen by gypsies
356
00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:54,949
and taken to their campin Bloomington, Illinois.
357
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:56,603
Close your eyes.
358
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:59,780
Radar, this is not a goodday for playing games.
359
00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:03,174
Please?
360
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,136
Yeah.
361
00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:10,573
Okay, now,
no peeking now.
362
00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:11,705
Yeah.
363
00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:18,059
Well?
364
00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:19,452
Just a minute.
365
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,717
Oh, boy.
366
00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:26,546
-I'm coming.
-Mm-hmm.
367
00:21:28,417 --> 00:21:30,158
Can I open my eyes yet?
368
00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:31,290
Not yet.
369
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,165
Hold out your hands.
370
00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:41,343
Okay, open 'em.
371
00:21:46,174 --> 00:21:50,091
Oh. Oh, don't cry.
372
00:21:50,091 --> 00:21:53,094
Radar, where didthis baby come from?
373
00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:03,452
You're not in any kind of,uh, trouble, are you, kid?
374
00:22:03,452 --> 00:22:04,932
Oh, no, no, sir.
375
00:22:04,932 --> 00:22:08,327
Uh, his mother works
in the camp laundry.
376
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:23,211
I just thought,
377
00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:25,126
since you couldn't get
to see your own son...
378
00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:36,746
He's, uh, he's
a beautiful boy.
379
00:22:42,012 --> 00:22:44,188
Can she speak
English, Radar?
380
00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:45,668
Uh, no, sir.
381
00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:49,716
But it's nice you
could smile in Korean.
382
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:54,677
Aww.
383
00:22:54,677 --> 00:22:58,289
Well, I guess we'dbetter get back to work.
384
00:22:58,289 --> 00:22:59,682
Yes, sir.
385
00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:05,862
Sir?
386
00:23:07,124 --> 00:23:08,909
In a minute.
387
00:23:11,781 --> 00:23:15,655
♪ You make me feel so young
388
00:23:15,655 --> 00:23:18,875
♪ You make me feel there are songs to be sung ♪
389
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,442
♪ Bells to be rung
390
00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:24,620
♪ And a wonderful
fling to be flung ♪
391
00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:28,189
♪ And even when
I'm old and gray ♪
392
00:23:28,189 --> 00:23:32,759
♪ I'm gonna feel the way I feel today ♪
393
00:23:32,759 --> 00:23:36,980
♪ 'cause you make
me feel so ♪
394
00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:40,854
♪ You make me feel so
395
00:23:40,854 --> 00:23:44,988
♪ You make me feel so young
396
00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:47,338
♪ So young
397
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:02,310
Just wait a second.
398
00:24:26,203 --> 00:24:28,292
It's been both a ball,an honor, and a privilege
399
00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:29,772
meeting with you like this,
400
00:24:29,772 --> 00:24:31,252
but I can see it's time to go
401
00:24:31,252 --> 00:24:32,514
because they're winding up
402
00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:33,820
the rubber band
on the old airplane.
403
00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:35,474
So on behalf of
the Miller Sisters,
404
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,518
let's hear it!
405
00:24:38,128 --> 00:24:40,870
Charlie Keller and his
Clan of Lunatics.
406
00:24:41,915 --> 00:24:44,091
And me, yes sirree,
407
00:24:44,091 --> 00:24:45,962
in person, Jackie Flash,
408
00:24:45,962 --> 00:24:47,268
saying that we'll be back
409
00:24:47,268 --> 00:24:48,922
to see you again real soon--
410
00:24:48,922 --> 00:24:52,360
Same time, same place,
same war.
411
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,057
So long now, and God bless ya.
412
00:24:54,057 --> 00:24:56,364
Yes, sir, let's hear itout there.
28731
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