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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,867 --> 00:00:02,134 Kids, in the fall of 2010, 2 00:00:03,135 --> 00:00:04,402 I was hosting my very first Thanksgiving. 3 00:00:04,403 --> 00:00:06,538 And I wanted it to be unforgettable. 4 00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:10,942 Instead of stuffing, I'm going to fill the turkey with... 5 00:00:10,943 --> 00:00:12,661 a slightly smaller turkey. 6 00:00:12,662 --> 00:00:15,080 It's called a Turturkeykey! 7 00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:17,248 A Turturkeykey? Mm-hmm. 8 00:00:17,249 --> 00:00:20,085 Uh-uh, oh-oh. ROBIN: Yeah, I was there for 9 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:23,254 the "insertion." He used shoehorns. 10 00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:24,422 I'll be having sides. 11 00:00:25,424 --> 00:00:27,058 Your loss. All right, it's dead in here. 12 00:00:27,059 --> 00:00:28,693 I'm gonna call it a little early. 13 00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,378 What? No! You can't go now. 14 00:00:30,379 --> 00:00:32,097 It's the night before Thanksgiving. 15 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,465 College chicks are back in town. 16 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:34,933 Their moms just made a snide comment 17 00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:36,468 about the weight they gained. 18 00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:37,602 They called her a bitch, 19 00:00:37,603 --> 00:00:38,937 but deep down, they know she's right. 20 00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:40,488 And they're about to walk through that door, 21 00:00:40,489 --> 00:00:41,890 where we will be waiting 22 00:00:41,891 --> 00:00:45,443 with some light beer and some rock hard approval. 23 00:00:45,444 --> 00:00:47,812 Wh-what u-up? 24 00:00:47,813 --> 00:00:49,447 Yeah. You don't want to bail early, man. 25 00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:50,649 You could become The Blitz. 26 00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:53,985 Blitz was a guy we knew in college. 27 00:00:53,986 --> 00:00:55,387 Sadly, he was cursed. 28 00:00:55,821 --> 00:00:56,855 Well... 29 00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:58,256 I'm calling it a little early. 30 00:00:58,257 --> 00:01:00,558 Wh... you sure? We got big plans. 31 00:01:00,559 --> 00:01:02,827 Yeah. Remember how last week we fired up a sandwich, 32 00:01:02,828 --> 00:01:04,529 and we listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon 33 00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:05,964 while watching The Wizard of Oz? 34 00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:06,965 Well, tonight, 35 00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:09,100 we're doing the same thing, 36 00:01:09,101 --> 00:01:11,136 only with "Weird Al" Yankovic's Greatest Hits 37 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,937 and Apocalypse Now. 38 00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:14,706 We'll see what happens. 39 00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:18,093 Nah, it's Kraft/Croft night: mac and cheese and Tomb Raider. 40 00:01:18,094 --> 00:01:19,761 Biz-zow! 41 00:01:19,762 --> 00:01:22,213 You see, every time Blitz left a place, 42 00:01:22,214 --> 00:01:23,481 something amazing happened. 43 00:01:27,286 --> 00:01:28,453 Oh! I'm sorry. 44 00:01:28,454 --> 00:01:30,088 I thought this was my room. 45 00:01:32,575 --> 00:01:35,894 Completely naked! Completely naked! 46 00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,362 Aw, man! 47 00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:38,997 And the movie was awesome. 48 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,532 Aw, man! 49 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,300 At the exact moment Brando first appeared, 50 00:01:42,301 --> 00:01:44,869 "Weird Al" launched right into "Eat It." 51 00:01:44,870 --> 00:01:47,038 Aw, man! 52 00:01:47,039 --> 00:01:48,573 And over the years, 53 00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:50,809 "The Curse of The Blitz" continued. 54 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,677 Well, I'm gonna call it. 55 00:01:52,678 --> 00:01:55,480 I just got Madden 2K1, and I can't stop thinking about it. 56 00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:56,514 See you later! Bye-bye! 57 00:01:56,515 --> 00:01:57,549 All right, bye-bye! Okay, later! 58 00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:58,750 Good-bye! Bye-Bye! 59 00:02:02,254 --> 00:02:04,723 Tap's broke! Can't turn 'em off! 60 00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,224 Free beer for everyone! 61 00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:10,261 Free beer for everyone! 62 00:02:10,262 --> 00:02:11,763 Free beer for everyone! 63 00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:14,299 Aw, man! 64 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,401 You know what? 65 00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,470 Ted, go ahead-- leave early to do something lame. 66 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,473 Just don't blame us if you become... The Blitz. 67 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,974 All right, first of all... 68 00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:25,810 there's nothing lame about brining a Turturkeykey, 69 00:02:25,811 --> 00:02:28,079 copyright pending. And secondly, 70 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,782 I don't believe "The Curse of The Blitz" is real. 71 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:33,318 Kids, I'd live to regret those words. 72 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,253 You see, the "Curse of Blitz" could be passed 73 00:02:35,254 --> 00:02:37,655 from one person to the next, at any moment. 74 00:02:37,656 --> 00:02:39,457 Blitz had gotten the curse from Jerry Windheim, 75 00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:41,893 back in freshman year, who got it years before that 76 00:02:41,894 --> 00:02:43,428 from Davey Beaterman. 77 00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,796 The original Blitz, Matt Blitz, 78 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:47,165 was a guy who went to Wesleyan back in the '60s. 79 00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,934 He dropped out right before the school went co-ed. 80 00:02:49,935 --> 00:02:52,203 And then, Thanksgiving morning... 81 00:02:57,276 --> 00:02:59,177 What the hell happened here? 82 00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:01,246 Hey! Morning, Blitz! 83 00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:03,248 Aw, man! 84 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:04,999 No, no! Let's get one thing straight, okay? 85 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,317 I am not The Blitz. 86 00:03:06,318 --> 00:03:10,522 * My Blitzy lies over the ocean * 87 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:14,025 * My Blitzy lies over the sea * 88 00:03:14,026 --> 00:03:18,296 * My Blitzy lies over the ocean * 89 00:03:18,297 --> 00:03:21,332 * So bring back my Blitzy... * Please stop. 90 00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:24,402 Okay, fine. 91 00:03:24,403 --> 00:03:25,770 *...To me. * 92 00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,239 The Gentleman! 93 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,875 THE GROUP: The Gentleman! Wait! Wait! Wait! 94 00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,043 What's that? What's "The Gentleman"? 95 00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:34,112 Oh, you had to be there, Blitz. Yes. 96 00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:35,313 I'm not The Blitz! 97 00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:47,358 Zoey? 98 00:03:47,359 --> 00:03:50,479 Morning, Blitz! 99 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:56,699 Transcript by Addic7ed.com 100 00:03:56,734 --> 00:04:00,871 www.addic7ed.com 101 00:04:05,227 --> 00:04:06,561 Kids, you remember Zoey. 102 00:04:06,562 --> 00:04:07,929 For the last two months, 103 00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:09,630 she'd been making my life hell. 104 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:11,966 Thanks, guys! 105 00:04:11,967 --> 00:04:13,468 Last night was amazing! 106 00:04:13,469 --> 00:04:14,769 The Gentleman! 107 00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:16,771 The Gentle... 108 00:04:18,574 --> 00:04:21,943 How could you, my best friends in the world, 109 00:04:21,944 --> 00:04:24,045 hang out with my mortal enemy, 110 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:28,082 then let her sleep in the tub where I clean myself?! 111 00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:30,067 Sorry, Ted. We can explain. 112 00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:32,253 After you Blitzed out last night... 113 00:04:32,254 --> 00:04:33,554 I'm not The Blitz! 114 00:04:33,555 --> 00:04:34,789 Oh, my God... 115 00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,257 That's Zoey! 116 00:04:36,258 --> 00:04:37,859 That's Ted's enemy. 117 00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:40,361 Which means she's our enemy. 118 00:04:40,362 --> 00:04:43,197 Let's take this bitch down. 119 00:04:43,198 --> 00:04:44,799 Huh? Huh? 120 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:45,800 Who's got your back? 121 00:04:45,801 --> 00:04:46,834 Now let's have dinner! 122 00:04:46,835 --> 00:04:49,503 Finish the story, Red. 123 00:04:49,504 --> 00:04:52,640 Okay, well, we all started brainstorming 124 00:04:52,641 --> 00:04:53,975 ways to mess with her. 125 00:04:53,976 --> 00:04:56,544 There were a lot of different ideas kicking around. 126 00:04:56,545 --> 00:04:59,313 And then I'm just going to leave her there... buck-naked, 127 00:04:59,314 --> 00:05:02,450 covered in candle wax, tied to the bed. 128 00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:07,221 Barney, I know that Ted doesn't like that girl, 129 00:05:07,222 --> 00:05:09,590 but that's a little extreme. 130 00:05:09,591 --> 00:05:11,425 Wait-- Ted doesn't like that girl? 131 00:05:12,361 --> 00:05:13,427 Okay. Wh...? 132 00:05:13,428 --> 00:05:14,629 Well, I got it. 133 00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:15,930 You see that silk scarf? 134 00:05:15,931 --> 00:05:17,999 I'm going to steal it. 135 00:05:23,505 --> 00:05:24,839 Can I... help you? 136 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,176 Yeah. Yeah! 137 00:05:28,177 --> 00:05:30,378 My name is Lily Aldrin. 138 00:05:30,379 --> 00:05:32,847 I'm a friend of Ted Mosby's, so you better... 139 00:05:32,848 --> 00:05:35,183 You're Lily Aldrin? The painter?! 140 00:05:35,184 --> 00:05:36,851 Well, yeah. 141 00:05:37,586 --> 00:05:38,619 You're amazing! 142 00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:40,821 I bought a bunch of your paintings online. 143 00:05:40,822 --> 00:05:42,790 That was you?! Yeah. 144 00:05:42,791 --> 00:05:44,909 Oh! Thanks! 145 00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:48,429 Look, none of us meant for it to happen, but, well, 146 00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,765 we had an awesome night with her. 147 00:05:52,634 --> 00:05:54,401 The Gentleman! 148 00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:59,707 And then, the craziest thing happened. 149 00:06:04,213 --> 00:06:05,746 I missed a skateboarding dog? 150 00:06:05,747 --> 00:06:07,648 Yeah, but that wasn't the crazy part. 151 00:06:07,649 --> 00:06:09,217 It wasn't? 152 00:06:09,218 --> 00:06:10,351 Okay, Marshall. 153 00:06:10,352 --> 00:06:12,303 Truth or dare? 154 00:06:12,304 --> 00:06:13,521 Okay, awesome. 155 00:06:13,522 --> 00:06:15,189 Well, Lily doesn't let me do truths. 156 00:06:15,924 --> 00:06:16,991 So, dare. 157 00:06:16,992 --> 00:06:18,359 Okay. 158 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:22,096 I dare you to send a picture of your junk 159 00:06:22,097 --> 00:06:23,831 to a complete stranger. 160 00:06:26,785 --> 00:06:28,736 Best idea ever! 161 00:06:28,737 --> 00:06:30,905 Worst idea ever! 162 00:06:30,906 --> 00:06:32,990 My junk ended up in some stranger's pocket. 163 00:06:32,991 --> 00:06:36,477 If there phone was on vibrate, I basically dry-humped them. 164 00:06:36,478 --> 00:06:39,113 Ho, ho, ho, ho! Whoa! Yay! 165 00:06:39,114 --> 00:06:40,781 Yeah. Okay. 166 00:06:40,782 --> 00:06:42,049 Everybody shout out random numbers. 167 00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:43,551 Um. 4, 8... 168 00:06:43,552 --> 00:06:45,820 15, 16, 23, 42! 169 00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:47,788 And... send! 170 00:06:49,258 --> 00:06:50,791 Wait. Blitz was there, too? 171 00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:54,061 The Gentleman! The Gentleman! 172 00:06:54,062 --> 00:06:55,796 Oh, I was there for the whole thing. 173 00:06:55,797 --> 00:06:56,864 Something inside me just said 174 00:06:56,865 --> 00:06:59,767 "Grand Theft Auto" can wait a night. 175 00:06:59,768 --> 00:07:01,602 It was legen-- 176 00:07:01,603 --> 00:07:03,487 wait for Ted to leave, 'cause he's now The Blitz-- 177 00:07:03,488 --> 00:07:05,823 -- dary. Legendary! 178 00:07:05,824 --> 00:07:07,108 I'm not The Blitz! 179 00:07:07,109 --> 00:07:08,409 I'm afraid you are, Ted. 180 00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:10,378 You see, when you left last night, 181 00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:12,613 you changed the course of Blitztory. 182 00:07:18,086 --> 00:07:21,372 MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Blitz... 183 00:07:35,871 --> 00:07:38,272 I'm finally free! I mean, you have no idea 184 00:07:38,273 --> 00:07:40,508 what I've missed all these years: 185 00:07:40,509 --> 00:07:41,676 The university president's toupee 186 00:07:41,677 --> 00:07:44,845 being snatched by a hawk at graduation, 187 00:07:44,846 --> 00:07:46,981 Zeppelin reuniting at my cousin Ira's bar mitzvah, 188 00:07:46,982 --> 00:07:50,618 countless nip-slips, crotch shots, 189 00:07:50,619 --> 00:07:52,353 shooting stars and double rainbows. 190 00:07:52,354 --> 00:07:53,721 I've missed them all! 191 00:07:54,489 --> 00:07:56,357 Well, not anymore, Blitz. 192 00:07:56,358 --> 00:07:58,192 My name's not Blitz. 193 00:07:58,193 --> 00:08:01,395 My name is Steve! 194 00:08:02,597 --> 00:08:05,366 Colors seem so bright now. 195 00:08:08,887 --> 00:08:11,205 Thank you, Blitz. What? No! 196 00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:13,341 N- n-n-n-no! N-n-no! I'm not The Blitz! 197 00:08:13,342 --> 00:08:15,593 The only thing I missed last night was my best friends 198 00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:18,212 stabbing me in the back by hanging out with my worst enemy. 199 00:08:18,213 --> 00:08:19,680 Guys! 200 00:08:19,681 --> 00:08:21,115 I hate Zoey! 201 00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:22,883 That means you're supposed to hate her, too! 202 00:08:22,884 --> 00:08:24,385 Th-that's your rule, Lily! 203 00:08:24,386 --> 00:08:25,720 I tried. 204 00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:26,921 Tried?! 205 00:08:26,922 --> 00:08:28,789 Lily, do you have any idea 206 00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:31,025 how many people I've blindly hated for you? 207 00:08:31,026 --> 00:08:34,795 I hated Renée Zellweger with a burning passion 208 00:08:34,796 --> 00:08:36,130 for eight years, 209 00:08:36,131 --> 00:08:38,132 only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon! 210 00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:41,235 Hey, I will hate her until I get my money back 211 00:08:41,236 --> 00:08:42,603 for You, Me and Dupree! 212 00:08:42,604 --> 00:08:44,138 That's Kate Hudson! 213 00:08:44,139 --> 00:08:46,173 Oh, yeah. That's who I hate. 214 00:08:46,174 --> 00:08:47,575 Guys, we hate Kate Hudson. 215 00:08:47,576 --> 00:08:50,077 No, we hate Zoey! 216 00:08:50,078 --> 00:08:52,913 I'm so furious at you all right now, 217 00:08:52,914 --> 00:08:55,950 but it's Thanksgiving, and I have a Turturkeykey to make. 218 00:08:57,519 --> 00:08:59,186 And not that I'm The Blitz, 219 00:08:59,187 --> 00:09:02,089 but could everyone please come with me into the kitchen? 220 00:09:04,259 --> 00:09:06,227 Okay, I'm, uh, 221 00:09:06,228 --> 00:09:08,062 just gonna preheat the oven. 222 00:09:08,063 --> 00:09:09,897 The oven. 223 00:09:09,898 --> 00:09:11,232 Hey, Robin, 224 00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,667 you should dance on the oven. 225 00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:16,904 Make out with Zoey! 226 00:09:16,905 --> 00:09:20,074 Make out with Zoey! Make out... 227 00:09:26,915 --> 00:09:29,016 Did they tell you about the skateboarding dog? 228 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,586 It was awesome! 229 00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:39,007 Great. So not only did you guys betray me, 230 00:09:39,008 --> 00:09:41,376 but you broke my oven on Thanksgiving? 231 00:09:41,377 --> 00:09:42,477 Full disclosure. 232 00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:44,412 We also used all your butter, greasing up Lily 232 00:09:43,478 --> 00:09:45,412 We also used all your butter, greasing up Lily 233 00:09:45,413 --> 00:09:48,348 so we could see how far we could slide her down the hall. 234 00:09:49,117 --> 00:09:51,652 But if it helps, I reached 4G. 235 00:09:51,653 --> 00:09:54,488 It doesn't help. 4G? 236 00:09:54,489 --> 00:09:55,489 Mm-hmm. 237 00:09:55,490 --> 00:09:56,623 No. 238 00:09:56,624 --> 00:09:58,492 What-What are we supposed to do now? 239 00:09:59,494 --> 00:10:01,795 This is awesome! 240 00:10:01,796 --> 00:10:04,431 I'm part of this! 241 00:10:04,432 --> 00:10:05,732 Barney, I don't know 242 00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:08,101 if the oven is deep enough. Plus, 243 00:10:08,102 --> 00:10:11,772 it's a display made of cardboard. 244 00:10:11,773 --> 00:10:14,341 Huh. I should probably disconnect the gas. 245 00:10:15,543 --> 00:10:17,277 Hey, just so you guys know, 246 00:10:17,278 --> 00:10:19,946 there was a tiny explosion at the sewage treatment plant 247 00:10:19,947 --> 00:10:21,615 across the street from our apartment, 248 00:10:21,616 --> 00:10:23,517 but I'm sure it's fine by now. 249 00:10:23,518 --> 00:10:24,885 This is awesome! 250 00:10:24,886 --> 00:10:26,019 It's not awesome! 251 00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:29,056 I think the smaller turkey just tried 252 00:10:29,057 --> 00:10:32,359 to crawl further inside the bigger turkey. 253 00:10:33,728 --> 00:10:35,562 Um... 254 00:10:35,563 --> 00:10:38,732 Um... I'm have... 255 00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:40,951 I'm having trouble breathing! 256 00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:44,904 Mom keeps an extra litter box in here. 257 00:10:45,757 --> 00:10:47,574 There you go. 258 00:10:47,575 --> 00:10:49,209 Good as new. 259 00:10:50,128 --> 00:10:52,345 Oh. Hey, Ginger. 260 00:10:54,716 --> 00:10:56,600 Ted, you're not gonna like this, 261 00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:58,468 but we do have one other option. 262 00:10:59,587 --> 00:11:01,021 Hey, you guys 263 00:11:01,022 --> 00:11:03,123 should come to my house for Thanksgiving. 264 00:11:03,124 --> 00:11:05,592 My husband always spends it with his daughter, 265 00:11:05,593 --> 00:11:07,194 so I'm going to be alone anyway. 266 00:11:07,195 --> 00:11:08,779 Could we bring Ted? 267 00:11:09,630 --> 00:11:11,631 It's Thanksgiving. 268 00:11:11,632 --> 00:11:12,733 What the hell? 269 00:11:16,838 --> 00:11:18,789 No. Absolutely not. 270 00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:20,624 Come on. Give her a chance. 271 00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:22,442 Ted, you violated a dead turkey 272 00:11:22,443 --> 00:11:24,161 with another dead turkey. 273 00:11:24,162 --> 00:11:25,912 Don't let that be in vain. 274 00:11:25,913 --> 00:11:27,948 Guys? Wait a minute. 275 00:11:27,949 --> 00:11:29,416 Where's Barney? 276 00:11:30,918 --> 00:11:33,754 And here's the twist, Babaka. 277 00:11:33,755 --> 00:11:38,325 Because Ted left early, he's now The Blitz! 278 00:11:38,326 --> 00:11:40,560 But Barney, now you left the group. 279 00:11:40,561 --> 00:11:43,430 Wouldn't that put you in danger of becoming The Blitz yourself? 280 00:11:43,431 --> 00:11:45,198 No. I c... 281 00:11:45,199 --> 00:11:47,300 Because... 282 00:11:47,301 --> 00:11:49,436 Step on it. 283 00:11:51,439 --> 00:11:52,856 You missed it. 284 00:11:52,857 --> 00:11:53,940 Oh, my goodness. 285 00:11:53,941 --> 00:11:55,242 Our cab took a wrong turn. 286 00:11:55,243 --> 00:11:57,210 We were in the Thanksgiving Day parade! 287 00:11:57,211 --> 00:12:00,247 Tony Bennett passed Ted the mike and he sang "Twist and Shout!" 288 00:12:00,248 --> 00:12:01,832 But he's The Blitz. 289 00:12:01,833 --> 00:12:04,951 No. I'm not The Blitz. 290 00:12:04,952 --> 00:12:06,319 I'm The Bueller. 291 00:12:07,121 --> 00:12:08,255 You know what this means. 292 00:12:08,256 --> 00:12:09,923 You're The Blitz. 293 00:12:10,691 --> 00:12:14,377 MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Blitz... 294 00:12:16,364 --> 00:12:17,964 Oh, God, no! 295 00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:19,382 Life moves pretty fast, Barney. 296 00:12:19,383 --> 00:12:21,668 If you don't stop and look around once in a while, 297 00:12:21,669 --> 00:12:22,969 you might miss it. 298 00:12:23,538 --> 00:12:25,305 Chicka-chicka! 299 00:12:27,842 --> 00:12:29,860 Happy Thanksgiving! 300 00:12:30,845 --> 00:12:32,179 Ted. 301 00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:33,713 Zoey. 302 00:12:34,749 --> 00:12:38,485 Best friend alert! 303 00:12:41,155 --> 00:12:44,090 Okay, the Turturkeykey is officially cooking. 304 00:12:44,091 --> 00:12:45,859 Oh, God, that is disgusting! 305 00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:49,162 Okay, guys, that's starting to hurt. 306 00:12:49,163 --> 00:12:50,463 No... no, Ted. 307 00:12:50,464 --> 00:12:52,899 Random number guy just sent me his wang back. 308 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,134 Wow. 309 00:12:54,135 --> 00:12:57,554 You sent a wang out, and you got a wang back. 310 00:12:57,555 --> 00:12:58,738 It's a boom-a-wang. 311 00:12:58,739 --> 00:13:00,207 Nice. Thank you. 312 00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:01,775 No, I meant the wang. 313 00:13:01,776 --> 00:13:03,577 Barney, could you get me some more ice? 314 00:13:03,578 --> 00:13:05,679 Sure. 315 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,714 But... no one move while I'm gone. 316 00:13:07,715 --> 00:13:09,216 I'm scared. 317 00:13:09,217 --> 00:13:10,183 You're safe. 318 00:13:10,184 --> 00:13:11,568 It's okay to leave the room. 319 00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:13,119 You have to actually leave the building 320 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,254 for something cool to happen. 321 00:13:14,255 --> 00:13:15,755 Thanks. 322 00:13:15,756 --> 00:13:18,625 You're the only one who's nice to me about this. 323 00:13:20,778 --> 00:13:22,963 Okay, I got to test this. 324 00:13:28,302 --> 00:13:30,103 What happened? 325 00:13:30,938 --> 00:13:32,505 You missed it! 326 00:13:32,506 --> 00:13:34,207 Dude, you walked out of the room, 327 00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:37,777 the laws of physics stopped and the laws of awesome tripled. 328 00:13:38,713 --> 00:13:41,248 Aw, man! You said I could leave the room! 329 00:13:41,249 --> 00:13:43,383 I just wanted to see something cool happen. 330 00:13:44,018 --> 00:13:45,285 I'm sorry. 331 00:13:45,286 --> 00:13:47,554 But I was on that island for what seems like eternity. 332 00:13:47,555 --> 00:13:49,589 I'm going to enjoy things on the other side. 333 00:13:49,590 --> 00:13:51,808 No! Y-You... 334 00:13:51,809 --> 00:13:53,093 Robin, Robin. 335 00:13:53,094 --> 00:13:55,729 I will pay you to be The Blitz. 336 00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:57,814 $100! No-- $10,000. 337 00:13:57,815 --> 00:13:59,199 No-- 60 bucks. 338 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,268 That's a lot of money for someone like you. 339 00:14:01,269 --> 00:14:04,371 Dude, The Blitz isn't something that can be bought or sold. 340 00:14:04,372 --> 00:14:06,273 Yeah, it's not like Ted's integrity. 341 00:14:06,274 --> 00:14:07,540 Oh, what was that? 342 00:14:07,541 --> 00:14:09,442 I was distracted by the four-caret diamond 343 00:14:09,443 --> 00:14:11,111 your 53-year-old husband bought you. 344 00:14:11,112 --> 00:14:12,312 Facial! 345 00:14:12,313 --> 00:14:13,513 Now, if you'll excuse me, 346 00:14:13,514 --> 00:14:15,315 I have a turturkeykey to baste. 347 00:14:15,316 --> 00:14:16,416 I'm coming with you. 348 00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:18,752 No... I baste alone. 349 00:14:18,753 --> 00:14:20,453 Oh, I'm sure you're a master baster, Ted. 350 00:14:20,454 --> 00:14:22,422 Word play. Loving it. 351 00:14:22,423 --> 00:14:23,490 But relax. 352 00:14:23,491 --> 00:14:24,491 I've got a ton of sides 353 00:14:24,492 --> 00:14:25,959 to heat up since my plans fell through. 354 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,560 Who canceled? Your coven? 355 00:14:27,561 --> 00:14:29,996 Coven. Group of witches. Boom. 356 00:14:29,997 --> 00:14:32,666 Yeah. They were worn out from putting that spell on your hair. 357 00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:34,267 Oh! Serve returned. 358 00:14:34,268 --> 00:14:35,535 Are you happy? 359 00:14:35,536 --> 00:14:36,870 You're ruining Thanksgiving. 360 00:14:36,871 --> 00:14:38,471 Well, you're not exactly who I thought 361 00:14:38,472 --> 00:14:40,040 I'd be spending Thanksgiving with, either. 362 00:14:41,158 --> 00:14:43,193 God, I'm so happy to be here. 363 00:14:43,194 --> 00:14:45,478 My face hurts from smiling. 364 00:14:45,479 --> 00:14:47,146 Oh... I'm sorry, Lily. 365 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,782 I'm just never going to like that woman. 366 00:14:48,783 --> 00:14:50,200 Ted, give her a chance. 367 00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:51,551 Enemies can't become friends. 368 00:14:51,552 --> 00:14:52,886 Yes, they can. 369 00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:53,920 Right, guys? 370 00:14:55,873 --> 00:14:57,323 No, no, no. You guys can't be objective. 371 00:14:57,324 --> 00:14:58,658 You still feel guilty about last night. 372 00:14:58,659 --> 00:14:59,726 Well, let's get an outside opinion. 373 00:14:59,727 --> 00:15:00,760 Who are we gonna-- 374 00:15:00,761 --> 00:15:02,495 "Dear Wang Guy..." Oh. 375 00:15:02,496 --> 00:15:05,398 "Can enemies ever be friends? 376 00:15:05,399 --> 00:15:07,000 Just wondering." 377 00:15:07,001 --> 00:15:08,501 Really? 378 00:15:08,502 --> 00:15:11,237 Wang Guy? We're asking Wang Guy? 379 00:15:11,238 --> 00:15:12,772 He's bold and uninhibited, 380 00:15:12,773 --> 00:15:14,140 so why not? 381 00:15:14,141 --> 00:15:17,410 And guys, you know what? For fun, why don't we ask him 382 00:15:17,411 --> 00:15:19,179 what he does for a living? 383 00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:21,181 Wouldn't that be fun? 384 00:15:21,182 --> 00:15:22,849 Just ask... Aww. 385 00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:25,385 You've got a little crush on Wang Guy, don't you? 386 00:15:25,386 --> 00:15:27,787 What? No. Shut up. 387 00:15:27,788 --> 00:15:29,155 I hate him. 388 00:15:29,156 --> 00:15:30,190 Oh, look. 389 00:15:30,191 --> 00:15:31,925 We got an answer. Here it is. 390 00:15:31,926 --> 00:15:34,995 "Yes, enemies can become friends. 391 00:15:34,996 --> 00:15:37,697 "Remember what Gandhi said. 392 00:15:37,698 --> 00:15:40,467 'Be the change you want to see in the world.'" 393 00:15:40,468 --> 00:15:43,136 Uh, did Wang Guy just quote Gandhi? 394 00:15:43,137 --> 00:15:44,871 That is amazing. 395 00:15:44,872 --> 00:15:46,389 And I was here for it. 396 00:15:46,390 --> 00:15:49,376 Now Zoey is The Blitz. Ha, ha! 397 00:15:49,377 --> 00:15:51,878 Burn on her. 398 00:15:53,014 --> 00:15:54,247 Come on, man. 399 00:15:54,248 --> 00:15:56,082 Don't be that Blitz. 400 00:15:56,083 --> 00:15:57,784 I'm not any Blitz! 401 00:15:57,785 --> 00:15:58,952 You're The Blitz! 402 00:15:58,953 --> 00:16:00,553 You're all The Blitz! 403 00:16:00,554 --> 00:16:03,590 I slept with that cute Indian girl who cuts my hair! 404 00:16:03,591 --> 00:16:05,458 What does that have to do with anything? 405 00:16:05,459 --> 00:16:06,559 Nothing! I just forgot 406 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,496 to brag about it before! 407 00:16:09,497 --> 00:16:11,831 Guys, despite the wit and wisdom of Wang Guy, 408 00:16:11,832 --> 00:16:14,200 Zoey and I are never going to be friends. 409 00:16:14,201 --> 00:16:17,237 We're just here for her oven and that's it. 410 00:16:17,238 --> 00:16:18,471 Whoa! Oh, my God! 411 00:16:18,472 --> 00:16:21,274 Did you do that on purpose? 412 00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:22,709 What? No. It was an accident. 413 00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:23,777 Oh, yeah. Well, like this is. 414 00:16:23,778 --> 00:16:25,111 Oh, great. Real mature. 415 00:16:25,112 --> 00:16:26,946 Yeah, well, you started it. 416 00:16:28,132 --> 00:16:30,316 Just stop it! 417 00:16:30,317 --> 00:16:33,653 God, can't you two just stop fighting for one day? 418 00:16:33,654 --> 00:16:36,823 Like, when the Roadrunner and the Coyote 419 00:16:36,824 --> 00:16:38,792 clocked out and had a beer together? 420 00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:41,828 Or-Or-Or Tom and Jerry shared a cup of coffee. 421 00:16:41,829 --> 00:16:43,630 Lily, those are cartoon characters, 422 00:16:43,631 --> 00:16:45,565 and I'm pretty sure you're making up episodes. 423 00:16:45,566 --> 00:16:48,334 And if Zoey is a cartoon character, 424 00:16:48,335 --> 00:16:50,503 she's Cinderella's evil stepmother! 425 00:16:50,504 --> 00:16:52,739 Oh, get out. 426 00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:53,907 All of you, out! 427 00:16:53,908 --> 00:16:55,475 But it's Thanksgiving. 428 00:16:55,476 --> 00:16:57,310 And I'm a part of it. 429 00:16:57,311 --> 00:16:58,745 Out! 430 00:17:01,282 --> 00:17:04,050 Wait... Where's Barney? 431 00:17:04,051 --> 00:17:05,835 Hey, guys, the most amazing thing just happened 432 00:17:05,836 --> 00:17:07,320 to me in that other roo... 433 00:17:09,957 --> 00:17:12,125 Aw, man. 434 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,302 I don't get it. Why'd she just 434 00:17:17,935 --> 00:17:19,802 I don't get it. Why'd she just 435 00:17:19,803 --> 00:17:21,320 kick us out like that? 436 00:17:21,321 --> 00:17:22,972 And then the cab driver said 437 00:17:22,973 --> 00:17:25,107 the last thing any of us wanted to hear. 438 00:17:25,108 --> 00:17:26,442 Where to? 439 00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:31,447 I guess we're going home. 440 00:17:33,650 --> 00:17:37,153 Yeah. I don't know where that is. 441 00:17:46,663 --> 00:17:48,931 Lily, where'd you get that? 442 00:17:48,932 --> 00:17:51,000 Oh. 443 00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:52,268 When Zoey booted us, 444 00:17:52,269 --> 00:17:54,737 it made me want to steal something of hers again. 445 00:17:54,738 --> 00:17:58,391 Apartment full of designer labels, and what do I grab? 446 00:17:58,392 --> 00:18:01,978 "Happy Turkey Day, Hannah. Love, Zoey." 447 00:18:01,979 --> 00:18:04,847 I wonder who Hannah is. 448 00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:11,220 Hey, you guys should come to my house for Thanksgiving. 449 00:18:11,221 --> 00:18:12,321 My husband always 450 00:18:12,322 --> 00:18:13,456 spends it with his daughter, 451 00:18:13,457 --> 00:18:15,057 so I'm going to be alone, anyway. 452 00:18:15,058 --> 00:18:16,492 Well, you're not exactly who I thought 453 00:18:16,493 --> 00:18:18,127 I'd be spending Thanksgiving with, either. 454 00:18:18,128 --> 00:18:20,129 And if Zoey is a cartoon character, 455 00:18:20,130 --> 00:18:22,298 she's Cinderella's evil stepmother! 456 00:18:22,299 --> 00:18:24,200 Get out! 457 00:18:24,201 --> 00:18:25,768 All of you, out! 458 00:18:28,171 --> 00:18:30,223 We have to go back to Zoey's. 459 00:18:32,075 --> 00:18:34,510 You gotta throw me some addresses, buddy. 460 00:18:37,214 --> 00:18:39,382 Oh, God. 461 00:18:39,383 --> 00:18:41,584 What are you doing here? 462 00:18:41,585 --> 00:18:43,052 Barney let us in. 463 00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:45,087 Barney was here? 464 00:18:45,088 --> 00:18:46,255 I was walking around half-naked. 465 00:18:46,256 --> 00:18:48,157 Aw, man! 466 00:18:48,158 --> 00:18:50,293 Wait. Which half? 467 00:18:50,294 --> 00:18:52,612 Look, I'm sorry your stepdaughter didn't want 468 00:18:52,613 --> 00:18:54,230 to spend Thanksgiving with you. 469 00:18:54,231 --> 00:18:55,865 How do you know that? 470 00:18:55,866 --> 00:18:57,199 I just do. 471 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,768 It must be tough. 472 00:18:58,769 --> 00:19:02,538 It was the first Thanksgiving Hannah agreed to spend with me, 473 00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:06,375 and then at the last minute, she changed her mind. 474 00:19:07,311 --> 00:19:08,811 She hates my guts. 475 00:19:10,681 --> 00:19:11,914 I get that. 476 00:19:12,883 --> 00:19:16,085 Uh, you should hang on to this. 477 00:19:16,086 --> 00:19:17,637 You can give it to her next year. 478 00:19:17,638 --> 00:19:20,222 Yeah... 479 00:19:20,223 --> 00:19:21,691 Right. 480 00:19:21,692 --> 00:19:23,893 Next year. 481 00:19:23,894 --> 00:19:25,194 Hey, you never know. 482 00:19:25,195 --> 00:19:27,263 People don't stay enemies forever. 483 00:19:28,532 --> 00:19:31,534 And that's the story of how Zoey and I became friends. 484 00:19:31,535 --> 00:19:32,568 Cheers. 485 00:19:32,569 --> 00:19:34,070 Cheers. 486 00:19:34,071 --> 00:19:35,104 Before we eat, 487 00:19:35,105 --> 00:19:36,372 we should take a group picture 488 00:19:36,373 --> 00:19:37,807 and send it to Wang Guy. 489 00:19:37,808 --> 00:19:38,908 Ooh. Oh. Great idea. 490 00:19:38,909 --> 00:19:39,842 All right. 491 00:19:39,843 --> 00:19:41,978 Okay. 492 00:19:41,979 --> 00:19:43,179 Here we go. 493 00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:45,114 One, two, three. 494 00:19:46,216 --> 00:19:50,019 Ted, that is the best-looking turturkeykey 495 00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:51,320 I have ever seen. 496 00:19:51,321 --> 00:19:52,722 Yeah. Yeah. 497 00:19:52,723 --> 00:19:54,190 Thank you. Let's just hope it tastes 498 00:19:54,191 --> 00:19:55,191 as good as it looks. 499 00:19:55,192 --> 00:19:56,525 It didn't. 500 00:19:56,526 --> 00:19:58,594 It tasted wrong. 501 00:19:58,595 --> 00:19:59,845 Oops. We forgot to light the candles. 502 00:19:59,846 --> 00:20:02,365 Oh. Oh, yeah. 503 00:20:02,366 --> 00:20:04,233 And just as Barney looked away, 504 00:20:04,234 --> 00:20:06,469 it happened. 505 00:20:33,730 --> 00:20:36,432 The Gentleman! 506 00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:39,135 What happened? I saw it! 507 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,521 Aw, come on, Blitz. Now it's just sad. 508 00:20:42,522 --> 00:20:44,707 Aw, man. 509 00:20:48,177 --> 00:20:49,494 Oh, go ahead. 510 00:20:49,495 --> 00:20:51,829 I forgot my jacket. 511 00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:53,998 Oh, hold the door! 512 00:20:59,571 --> 00:21:01,239 Thank you, God! 513 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,108 Aw, man! 514 00:21:04,109 --> 00:21:05,576 MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Blitz. 515 00:21:05,577 --> 00:21:08,212 Synced by Jacobian @ HDbits.org 35016

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