All language subtitles for My.Mad.Fat.Diary.S03E01.Who.Is.Stan.Ford.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP.2.0.H.264-moorkat_track3_[eng]

Dear Diary,

In a city far from home,
Rachel Earl was running,

yes, that's right, running.

And a running Rae Earl is not
something you see very often,

but this was an emergency.

Even if Johnny Depp was
beckoning me

from the top
of the hill with his penis,

it would have to wait.

Sorry, Johnny.

I was late!

Hiya…

You'll have read Hamlet,
is that correct?

Oh, actually we're doing Macbeth.

So you'll have read Hamlet.

I've seen the film.

The film?

With Mel Gibson.

Where are you studying, Rachel?

It's called
Stamford City College.

- Your other A levels, being…?
- Sociology and Performing Arts.

Just those?

Just those.

Well, then.
That should afford you plenty
of time for extra reading.

Or watching films.

It's all right for you, isn't it?

Excuse me?

I'm just saying,
it's all right for you.

I'm sure you've got plenty
of time for extra reading.

But I live in the real world.

And sometimes in the real world,
real life,

gets in the way of extra reading.

Look, I'm sorry
that I haven't read Hamlet,
I love Shakespeare, I do.

But Shakespeare doesn't change
my baby sister's nappies
in the middle of the night,

Shakespeare doesn't turn
the light on when I'm having
a nightmare,

and Shakespeare, sure as shit,
never gets his round in.

At least not in my local.

From what I can tell
from the film,

Hamlet is a tragedy of indecision.

It's one of the few
mental health problems
I don't suffer with.

It's a shame you're not as cool
as the city that you work in.

And that, ladies and gentlemen…

And that, ladies and gentlemen,
is how you fuck up
a university interview.

But this…
pretty much everything
I'm about to tell you,

was why it didn't matter
in the slightest.

This was the year
of A Levels. The biggest
Summer since records began.

But we were ready.
More than ready.

We knew who we were,
we knew where we were going,

and like Stamford's answer
to Destiny's Child,

we were ready
to take over the world.

I had already found my dream job.

Town Records
was off the scale amazing.

Like living in your actual hobby.

My baby sister was growing
cuter by the minute.

Finn's ass was peachier than ever.

I had the gang by my side.
I was happy.

I was healthy,
and I hadn't hurt myself
in over a year.

Here we go, fourteen Toxic Bombs.

I found the recipe on
something called the net.

- There we go big one for you.
- Chop can have mine.

I'm not drinking until
the Leavers' Ball.

Rae?

Well, Why can't I have mine?

You're supposed to be
my revision partner.

Stop! Wait! Wait!

There's some
announcements to make first.

To mark the fact this is our
last summer in Stamford,

I'm gonna to be getting a tattoo.

You've gotta be tattoo mad,
how many do you need?

I've got one of Izzy.

And I'm getting one up here too.
The gang.

So that every time I look at,
I think of you lot.

So sweet.

No, wait. Wait, wait!

You said announcements.
Plural…

Oh, yeah. Finn's got news
and all. Go on.

- Don't. Don't.
- Go on.

I've not even told Rae yet,
knobhead.

What? Told me what?

I've been doing a few extra jobs,

and I've put down a deposit
on a flat to rent
above the bookies.

- Big boy Finn!
- I move in Friday.

- Hang on! This Friday?
- Yeah.

Oh, no.
You know what's happening
this Friday, don't you?

The biggest flat-warming party
in the 20th century!

I've got exams,
I'm not going. I'm not.

I move in Friday,
but I've got the keys already.

Come around if you
don't believe me.

And that, Dear Diary,
is the point I'm making.

Why didn't fucking up your
university interview matter?

Because, there was
only one place on the entire
planet I ever wanted to be.

Right. Come on,
Mr. University.

How you feeling about Durham?

Honestly, Rae, I'm bricking it.

Why?

It's not leaving here or anything.

It's just I don't wanna be
the only gay guy on campus

who hasn't…
actually… actually…

Right, yeah, then I pledge
to spending my time helping you

find the hottest man in Stamford.

I don't like it, Archie,
but I'll do it.

Well, that's awfully
big of you, Rae.

I know.

Thank you, though.
Give us a kiss.

Hey, and who knows? Sex could be
around the very next corner.

I'm OK with that.

And in answer to the question
I know you've been asking,

yes, we had been on
a massively regular basis.

Do you know what the best thing
about having my own flat is?

There was something
about being with him.

Our bodies just went together.
Like sexually explicit Lego.

- I love you.
- What?

I lull you.

What did you just say?

I said…

I… love… you.

Oh, my God,
he had actually said it!

The words were like music
that spread and tingled
through my veins.

Life was so perfect.
I could burst.

What time do you call this?!

You're supposed to be
studying young lady.

You got a letter.
It's behind the pig.

It's Blockbuster's isn't it,
wanting Benny and Joon back?

They'll gonna take you
to court in the end, Rae.
It's been over a year.

Fine. I'll sort it.

Oh, tits…

I'm not going… I'm not.

I threw the letter away.

I love Stamford.
I love my mates.

And my boyfriend loves me.
He said so.

Rae, we've worked so hard.

And now there's
this incredible opportunity.

And you have to take it.

I can't see
how you can't see that.

Whenever I come to you
with a problem,

you always do the same,
classic Kester thing.

You throw it straight back.

"I don't know, Rae.
You tell me. What do you
think you should do?"

And I know why. I get it.

You're trying to help me
work things out for myself.

So why is it that this time,

you're trying to tell me
what to do?

Because you don't know
what's out there. Not yet.

You barely know
what's over the next hill.

I don't need to travel
to get to amazing places.

Well, at least think about it.

I have.
And I'm not going. End of.

What's going on with your room?

- They're refurbishing.
- Why?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Oh there he is.
The old Kester.

"I don't know, Rae, you tell me?"

It didn't matter what Kester said,
that letter was in the bin.

I wasn't going to
freak out about my future,

Chloe was doing
enough of that for everyone.

She was obsessed with getting into

the Lincolnshire
School of Business,
hence the power dressing.

Don't take this
the wrong way, Chloe.

But you do know it's 1998,
don't you? Not 1985.

I think she meant the Filofax.

Uh, Filofaxes, Rae,
are a revision tool.

You would know if you took
revision more seriously.

All right, listen up everyone,

I have to say, when I looked
at the date this morning,

my heart jumped slightly.

I'm sure I wasn't the only one.

That's right, less than one week
to go before A Levels.

But there will be a Careers Fair
tomorrow afternoon.

Um… miss is there gonna be
people there from
the business community?

Or will is there just be like
you know people from like,
you know, around here?

My dad's coming.

Your dad owns the cattery.

Yeah. It's a business.

Lois is right.
There will be several
local businesses represented.

If you don't get the grades
you're hoping for,

or if you didn't get
the offer you're expecting,

there'll be a host of people
waiting to talk to you
in the hall after 6:00.

Have Bristol rejected you
now then, Rae.

Yeah.

- What, officially?
- Yeah.

Yo, can you turn it down a sec?

Yeah.

Hello?

Tell… tell me you're joking.

You're not joking.

Well then, I'm really sorry.

I'm genuinely sorry.

You, um, you OK, Rob?

That was my date.

What I thought was my date.
Long story.

She let you down?

He…

And not for the first time.

Archie, I've got one.

Oh, Sorry about my language.

What language?

What the fuck
are you doing in my room?

Can you keep your voice down
when you're swearing at me
please, the baby's sleeping.

Why are you in my room?

Right, I came in here on behalf
of Blockbuster's Video.

Looking to put an end to that
Benny and Joon saga,
once and for all.

But I ended up finding something
a little bit better
than Johnny Depp, didn't I?

You told me it went badly.

Rae, do you know how many
members of our family
have been to university?

None! I am so proud of you,
young lady.

I am so proud
of my little chicken.

She's finally hatched,
and she's turned into
a beautiful swan.

With English Paper One
in just ten days time,

I could spot
a mixed metaphor a mile away.

Come sit down
next to your old mum.

Come in, love.

I tell you important story.

When my father was a young man,

he moved from the desert
to the city.

To make better life.

But before he leave,
his father came to him.

And he give my father a chain.
To guard him his journey.

And… to say he was very proud.

Uh, it would be for me,

an honor to give this to you,
to guard you your journey,

Bristol and because
I'm very proud of you.

Oh, God, that's so beautiful.

We're on our way.

How do you break it to the people
who believe in you the most,

that you don't want to
follow the path
they think is best for you?

I needed to tell Finn.
I wasn't going.

Just because Bristol
was a good opportunity,
didn't mean I had to go.

What do you think?

Well, it's a little bit
like it was yesterday.

As in, identical.

No. There's a beanbag
and there's two new posters.

And the fridge works.

I'm happy for you.

Are you really?

Yeah.

Because there is something
that I wanted to ask you and
I…

I didn't want to suggest
in case, you know, I was…

…I was holding you back,

but seeing as you didn't
get into Bristol…

If you…
If you wanted to move in here.

What?

Move in. Here, with me.

I mean, we could, could have
a joint flat-warming party
on Friday, if you want,

only if you wanted,
it's no big deal.

I love you.

But how could I tell him now?

How could I let anything
get in the way of this?

- Cheers. Cheers.
- Cheers!

The sexiest man since sliced ham
wanted me to move in with him

for decent music, proper
cuddles, and Olympic standard
gymnastic knobbing.

I just had to pack the first bag,

sneak past Mum so she didn't
blow her top about Bristol,

then get my ass around to Finn
and Rae's new shag-shack.

Oh, what's in your bag?

Books. I'm going to revise.

Revise my knowledge
of Finn Nelson's genitalia.

Good girl.

Not flowers, Archie.
Not the first time you meet him.

They're for you. Chloe told me
you didn't get into Bristol.

Here comes the lecture
from Mr. University…

There's always clearing, Rae.

And Peterborough Uni
always has places.

Do you know what, it doesn't
matter about not getting in.

Finn's asked me
to move in with him,

so I'm gonna be doing a degree
in the Art of Fellatio.

Come on!

Looking a bit nervous there, Arch!

Well, what if I'm not his type?

Oh, my God. It's almost
like being gay in 3D.

Well, you know
what they say don't ya?
"Nerves are a good thing".

Why do they say that?

Don't know!

It's just something to say
to nervous people, isn't it?

OK… I'm going in.

Hiya!

Who was that guy?

Which guy?

That geeky looking guy I saw you
with in that car just now.

I dunno.

OK, mate?

Yeah, mate, just um,
just looking, just looking.

Was he checking me out?

Yeah.

He's cute.
Looks better without the bins.

Get him to give me a call.

And there it was.

Against all odds,

in a town that wasn't even
supposed to have a dartboard,

Archie had hit
a massive gay bulls-eye.

Hello.

You can't just do that,
you can't just pick what you want.

- OK.
- OK.

Moving in with someone
is a big step, Rae.

It's exciting.

And Finn, he thinks that you

turning down
the offer from Bristol,

he thinks
that's a good idea, does he?

It's what we both want.

Because… Because, from…
from what I understand,

from what you've told me
about him,

your boyfriend wouldn't want
anything but best for you

and he's selfless,
you know, in that respect.

- That's right, isn't it?
- Yeah, he is.

What so he just thinks that
Bristol is too far away?

No.

It's not a good enough university?

- No.
- Please, help me out, Rae.

Because I'm struggling here.

There must be
some reason why he's,

um, well as I see it,
clipping your wings.

- He loves me.
- Exactly.

And I love him.
And we live here.
And that's the end of it.

Just checking.

You know something, Rae,
we've been talking like this,

me and you, two years now.

Now a lot has changed
in that time.

In this room and out there.

You have become
someone extra special.

Are you splitting up with me?

We've reached the stage now,
Rae, where we need to be
looking to wind things down.

To complete the process.

- That's it. That's why you
want me to go to university.
- No…

Because you want to end therapy,
so that's your excuse.

No. It's the opposite.
I want you to go

to university because
you are ready to end therapy.

You know your own mind, Rae.
You've said as much yourself.

How you're in love.
How you're secure.

It's a shock to any patient.
The idea of ending sessions.
Of course it is.

But I say this with confidence.

You have no idea
how proud I am of you.

Of how far you've come.

Why are you doing it so suddenly?

I'm not. There's no rush.
It's not like flicking a switch.

We can take it gently.
I'm not going anywhere.

Nearly finished.

Look, actually we're right in
the middle of something here.
Thank you.

So, um, what about
the last week in June?

That gives us three more sessions.

Ever since
I first left hospital,
Kester had kept me together.

But now it felt like the
foundations of life in Stamford
were starting to crack.

At least I still had
the gang to talk to.

They could catch me if I fell.

Rae?! What the fuck?!

We supposed to be
highlighting our Emmas,
like, an hour ago.

It's as if A Levels
mean nothing to you.

Come on. It's started.

Careers Day.

Like the lights had just come on

in the world's shittest disco.

Do you think
I should join the army?

- No.
- Are you sure?

- Yeah.
- Rae?!

Is that… Katie Springer?!

Hang on who's Katie Springer?

She looks amazing.

Yeah, if you like
that kind of thing.

- Which everyone does.
- Any way how do you know her?

We met for like a second
in Bristol.

Rae, how's it going?
So hoping to see you.

It's so weird being
back at college.

- What you doing here?
- Well the principal asked me
back to talk about going to uni,

and Dan Smith
to talk about not going.

- Ku Klux Dan?
- Mmm-hm.

He works at the Garden Center now.

- Hiya, Izzy!
- Hi, Katie.

You alright?

And you remember, Chloe.

Um, it's nice to meet you.
Hey, I like your costume.

Can I have your
attention everyone, please?

Two of last year's leavers
have kindly agreed to come back

and tell you all a little bit
about what life's like out there.

So please welcome,
Katie Springer and Daniel Smith.

How could she not remember me?

I used to blank her,
like the whole time.

Hiya, um, I'm Katie.

Uh… when I was here,
at Stamford,

I pretty much had zero confidence.

I kept myself
to myself the whole time.

Um… Most of you probably never
even knew who I was.

So even though I had
this amazing, amazing
offer to study at Bristol,

I kept making out
that uni wasn't for me.
Stamford was big enough.

So what I wanna to say to those
of you who have an offer,

or are just daunted
by what's out there,
beyond those gates…

…is to be strong.

And go for it.

I would like
to leave you with a quote

by someone first introduced
to me by Principal Dixon:
George Eliot.

"It's never too late to be what
you might have been".

Cheers!

What year's George Eliot in?

Maybe I'd been stupid
to rule out Bristol.

But, no, it was fine.
Completely fine.

Just because Katie Springer
was like a walking advert
for university,

didn't mean there
weren't people who could do
the same for Stamford.

A lot of people think there's
only one kind of Koi carp

you can buy at The Garden Center
on Barnack Road.

There aren't.
There are six.

Oh, bollocks.

Thank you.

This was getting ridiculous,

I had to talk to someone

who would understand
about the offer.

I wasn't thinking about it,

because I didn't think
I had anything to think about.

- But I haven't even told him.
- Told who?

- My boyfriend.
- Who's you boyfriend?

- Finn.
- Finn Nelson?

Yeah, I know…

But if I stay here,
then he's gonna think that

I gave up my dream for him,
but it's not like that!

- What dream, Rae?
- Bristol.

- So Bristol is your dream?
- No. I didn't say that.

Well, you literally,
you just said that to me, Rae.
So…

No… well,
I didn't think it was,

but now I've lied to everyone
and it's all a big mess.

- OK…
- I just don't know what to do.

Look, I get your dilemma, I do.

Don't tell anyone about this.

No, I won't. I don't
go back for another week.

So if you wanna talk to me
about this, then you can OK.
Alright?

- Thanks.
- OK.

An offer to read English
at Bristol is fantastic, Rae.

The Head of Department phoned
to say how impressed he was
by your passion.

He said he didn't get the chance
to tell you it in person.

Who else have you told?!

Well, everyone. It's such
an inspiring story, Rae.

- See you.
- Rae!

I knew I should've told Finn,

but I hadn't thought
there was a decision to make.

I couldn't let him find out
from anyone else.

How the fuck
was I going to explain this?

Nice one, Raemundo!

Oh, that's it, is it?

Rae's got her offer.
Chloe can sort herself out.

No…

"Well there is no point
revising with her,

she's not getting
tip-top grades, is she?

Is that why you lied to me?

- Izzy… have you seen Finn?
- I'm trying to talk to you!

- He's looking for you.
- Do you know where he went?

Rae, don't ignore me.

I'm just trying to find out
where Finn is!

Well I don't get
why you lied to me!

We're supposed to tell
each other everything, Rae.

I would have just revised
on my own!

You're not revising, Chloe.

All you're doing is
highlighting stuff.

- Do you mind?!
- Sometimes whole pages.

Which is exactly the same
as highlighting none of it!

Danny, have you seen Finn?

No, listen those two,

they've had four shots each
and they haven't said two words.

Right.

- What's going on?
- We are raising a glass
of non-alcoholic Champagne.

To you.

Hey, Finn,
do you like Rae's chain?

Karim got her that,
to keep her safe
on her journey to Bristol.

Yeah. Nice one.

Don't.

Here's to you. Genuinely, Rae.

You know what? Before I asked
you to move in with me,

I checked, there was no chance
you were going to Uni.

I double checked, Rae. For me.

Because the last thing
I wanted to do in my life is to…

…is to hold you back.
Do you know that?!

You're not holding me back.

I went to the pub earlier,

and you were all anyone
was talking about.

"Rae Earl's off to uni.
Oh, you must be so proud, mate".

Do you know what that's like?

Why would you lie to me?

I didn't. I didn't mean to.

Were you lying about
the interview going badly?

- No.
- No, were you lying

when you said you wanted
to move in with me, no?

No.

So, were you lying when
you told me that you loved me?

No!

Oh, please Finn…

Being with you…
is more than I ever dreamed of.

It's a joke and we both know it.

People must think
I've won a competition.

Rae… your mum
showed me the letter.

Look, if you can't decide,
what you really want,

if you can't decide
between us and Uni,

then I think we should
go on a break until you do.

Because…

'Cause, I'm sorry,
Rae, but this isn't…

…it's not fair is it?

Finn, well, what about the party?

Party?
I'm not really in the mood.

Can you see to her, Rae?

Yeah.

So, there's always the
long distance relationship.

Which you have put the hours in,
you know, motorway-wise.

Danny, I dunno.

Well, the other option
is the open relationship.

You know, he can do his thing,
you can do yours.

Yeah, right.

Danny, do you like
living in Stamford?

Is it enough for you?

I love it, Rae.
It's like I've scored a goal.

It was perfect for Danny
but was Stamford enough for me?

Oh, here you go.

It wouldn't' be the same
without the gang,

and if the others moved on
what would I do?

But while my
own future was uncertain,

Archie was onto a sure thing.

Rob had invited him over,
and dinner was not on the menu.

I've, I've… um,
I've shaved, Rae.

- Do you think that was wise?
- Yeah, you look nice.

No. I've… I've shaved.

Oh, uh, yeah, yeah!

- I'm sure he'll appreciate it.
- Yeah!

- Good luck, Arch!
- Oh, cheers, Danny.

- Thanks for making me do this.
- Hey, listen Archie,

you don't have to do anything.

Yeah, yeah I do.

No, because what if
you get in there

and you decide
that it's not for you.

Well, it still would of
being worth going in. Alright.

There he goes.
Archibald and his bald balls.

I couldn't believe
how brave Archie was.

He wasn't afraid
to step into the unknown.

I'm still not sure
about that shirt.

I wouldn't worry
about the shirt, Rae.

That'll be torn from his body
the moment he steps inside.

We'd been waiting outside
Rob's for ages, and I was
starting to get worried.

They'll be in an advanced state
of foreplay by now.

Hands, tongues,
fingers, you name it,
it'll be every man for himself.

Penetration, Rae,
will be imminent.

Danny!

What if Archie was wrong,
and it wasn't worth going in?

What if something
terrible happens to you
when you step into the unknown?

What if Rob was actually
a series killer?

What if he buried his victims
under the patio,
like in Brookside?

They've been in there
a really long time, Danny.

I'm going in.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

Suddenly,
I could see everything.

Archie knew what he wanted,
and he was going for it.

Archie had taken control,
and I had to do the same.

Ever since that letter arrived
everything had fallen apart.

I had to fix it.

I needed to put things back

to the way they were
before the offer,

and that meant getting
the gang together.

Hiya.

She's supposed to be
revising, Rae.

Go on.

Thanks.

Hello.

He shouldn't have let you in.

Do you know,
it wasn't what you said,
it was the way that you said it.

Sorry.

- Just read it…
- What is it?

Just read it.

That's fucking amazing!

Well, I still need
to get a B and two Cs.
I've got no chance.

- Yeah, you do.
- No, I don't.

You and Archie could do it,
but I'm way out my depth.

And this stupid song.
It's supposed to be
"study friendly".

It's… it's Enya for fuck's sake.

Enya!

OK, Chloe, I haven't…

I haven't been a very good
revision partner have I?

No.

No, but the thing is…
I've made my decision.

What decision?

I'm staying in Stamford.

So… we are gonna have
a flat-warming party.

It is back on.

- Oh! Hang on a minute. Where?
- Tonight.

- Tonight?
- Yeah.

Rae, that's all too quick.

We've got Sociology
Monday morning.

That is why you're gonna drive.

You're gonna drive us back
and then at some point where
gonna do some more revision.

- Are you OK?
- Me, yeah, I'm fine.

I don't think
you're thinking straight.

I am Clo, I just need you
to come with me.

Please… Please…

- Fine.
- Yeah?

- Yep…
- Yes! Let's go.

Finn said he was canceling it.

Yeah, but, um,
he changed his mind.

Guy's should we stop at the offie?

I think I've got enough here,
let's see.

Two… three…
five… 57…

- Raemundo… Raemundo.
- Shit, I lost count. Hang on.

- What?
- Chill out.

Here we go
"Drambuie Detonators."

Wait! Wait, wait…

An hour in the making,
three days of healing,

never say I'm not
a man of me word.

Chop… Chop.

- Who's "Stan-ford"?
- Yeah?

You idiot, it's us.
"Stanfords Forever."

It's Stamford, Stam-ford,
with an M. You numpty.

You've lived here your whole life.

Right, drink up.

Have another!

Stamford!

Right!
Shall we get a wriggle on?

Can we, please?
You've still got
some more shots to do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, drink up.

Come on you love
birds get out of the way!

That is disgusting.
Get off me! Get off me.

Archie don't you dare!

My name's Rae Earl.
And I love this town.

No-one gets out alive.
In fact, it's a lock in.

- Stamford Forever!
- Stamford Forever!

What time's the party start?!

Izzy. I've already told you…

The party starts
when we get there.

So cheesy!

Rae?

Chloe!

- Rae, let me see your hands.
- What the fuck, Chloe?

- Let me see your hands!
- I'm fine!

- Why haven't you told me?
- I'm fine!

Don't shout at me, Rae!
I'm here for you!

Kester. Kester!

Please… Kester!

No, Kester!

Kester!