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1
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:04,254
Who you gonna call?
[laughs]
2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,297
Hi.
I'm Ray Parker, Jr.,
3
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,466
writer and performer
of the Academy Award-nominated
4
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:12,679
hit single Ghostbusters
5
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,806
from the major motion picture
Ghostbusters.
6
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,892
But that's just one song.
7
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:21,521
I've written so many other
major motion picture theme songs
8
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,523
and submitted 'em
throughout the years.
9
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,234
Now they're available
and together
10
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:28,528
for one specially priced
compilation.
11
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:29,821
Songs like...
12
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:32,490
♪ You tried
to play the game ♪
13
00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:34,743
♪ But it's driving you
insane ♪
14
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:35,744
♪ Jumanji ♪
15
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,580
♪ Danger in the jungle ♪
16
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,415
♪ Jumanji ♪
17
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:41,666
♪ There's a lion in my house ♪
18
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,586
♪ Come on, Mr. Computer ♪
19
00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:46,254
♪ Throw me a bone ♪
20
00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:47,881
♪ I said, Lawnmower Man ♪
21
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,551
♪ Get up off of my lawn ♪
22
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,595
♪ When Armageddon is near ♪
23
00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,597
♪ You better get out of here ♪
24
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,932
♪ Looking like a deep impact ♪
25
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,517
♪ I ain't afraid
of no 'stroid ♪
26
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,728
♪ Watch out behind you ♪
27
00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:02,812
♪ That's where I'm gonna
find you ♪
28
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,897
♪ Pelican brief ♪
29
00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:06,858
♪ It's getting legal, y'all ♪
30
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:10,195
These songs have only been heard
by the highest level
31
00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:12,280
of industry decision makers,
32
00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:16,033
but now you can feel
like a Hollywood executive
33
00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,786
in your own home.
34
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,747
♪ I'll see your face-off ♪
35
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,207
♪ Black guy walking around ♪
36
00:01:22,289 --> 00:01:24,292
♪ It's a face-off ♪
[chuckles]
37
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:26,127
♪ That ain't even your face ♪
38
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,295
♪ Passion of the Christ ♪
39
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,298
♪ Get me down off
of this cross ♪
40
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:31,299
♪ Passion of the Christ ♪
41
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:34,344
♪ You know,
my daddy is the boss ♪
42
00:01:34,426 --> 00:01:36,721
♪ Disturbia ♪
43
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,306
♪ That's not even a word ♪
44
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:41,142
♪ Gonna unnerve ya ♪
45
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,644
♪ ♪
46
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,938
♪ Now, there's a whole lot
of kinky ♪
47
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,315
♪ Bet that room is stinky ♪
48
00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:48,858
♪ Fifty shades of Grey ♪
49
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,319
[chuckles]
All right, white people.
50
00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:52,821
♪ Who's a slave? ♪
51
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,114
♪ I'm not a slave ♪
52
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,908
♪ Uh-oh ♪
53
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,160
♪ Twelve years a slave ♪
54
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,871
Whoops!
[imitates whip crack]
55
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:05,667
There's one thing I know.
56
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,377
It's that persistence
makes perfection.
57
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,378
Ha ha.
58
00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:11,256
Sure, Hollywood missed out,
59
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,342
but that doesn't mean
you have to.
60
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,511
♪ Down in the basement ♪
61
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,513
♪ What's going on? ♪
62
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:21,015
♪ It's a apt pupil ♪
63
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,475
♪ There's a kid
and a Nazi down there ♪
64
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:27,438
♪ ♪
65
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,357
(male announcer)
Order now to receive
your free copy
66
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,608
of Bobby Sings the Twos:
67
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,695
theme songs to sequels
that were never made.
68
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:37,531
[haunting Western music]
69
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:45,540
♪ ♪
70
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,684
What was the very first sketch
we ever did?
71
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:05,894
I think we started
with Bitch.
72
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:06,519
Did we start with Bitch?
73
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,355
Oh.
74
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,065
In history, I mean...
75
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:11,816
In that moment.
76
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,986
The greatest comedy
77
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:19,198
or otherwise show
ever made.
78
00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:23,411
Okay, well, I-I--
I do enjoy our show.
79
00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:24,704
You think it's
the best show ever made?
80
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,998
Pure classic.
81
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,000
It's us...
82
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,252
then, like, Dallas,
then The Twilight Zone.
83
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,087
There's a list out there.
84
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,589
Key & Peele,
85
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,174
Dallas,
86
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,927
- Twilight Zone.
- Just talking influential.
87
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,304
Huge.
I'm a visionary.
88
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:45,516
I think that
it's very possible, like,
89
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,270
we'll go down like the...
90
00:03:49,353 --> 00:03:50,103
like the Wright brothers.
91
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,356
Like, they're gonna be--
92
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,775
It's gonna be one of these
things where we're--
93
00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:55,567
Am I--am I going too far?
94
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,780
- Am I overblowing it?
- Overblowing it a little bit.
95
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,949
I really just wanted to know
what the first scene was.
96
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,241
Oh.
97
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,452
[haunting Western music]
98
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,086
Vince, I, uh,
99
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:17,382
I have that quarterly analysis
that you asked for.
100
00:04:17,464 --> 00:04:20,802
I had a quarter
of these nuts on your chin.
101
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,262
[clears throat]
Right.
102
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,264
It's just that
I wanted to review
103
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,474
some of these numbers
with you.
104
00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,810
It seems like
our earnings are low
105
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,478
against
our original projections.
106
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,856
These nuts were low
against your chin.
107
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,657
You know, Vince,
108
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:45,284
if you ever need
to talk to me about something,
109
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,328
I'm more than happy
to listen.
110
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,706
These nuts would be more than
happy to rest against your chin.
111
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,251
[sighs]
112
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,339
Hey, look, you've been doing
this for about a week now,
113
00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,508
and it was kind of funny
at first.
114
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:03,177
These nuts were kind of funny
against your chin.
115
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,847
Vince,
I'm worried about you.
116
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,149
I was worried
about these nuts on your chin.
117
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,567
Vince, seriously.
118
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,695
[sighs]
119
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,238
[whispering]
These nuts were seriously
on your chin.
120
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:27,994
Mr. Graham, I just got a call
from St. Mary's Hospital,
121
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,538
and your parents
were in a serious car accident.
122
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:34,375
I'm so sorry,
but your mother is dead,
123
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:38,504
and your father
is on life support.
124
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,386
These nuts were supporting
life on your chin.
125
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,346
Oh, my God.
126
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,265
- Sorry, Amber.
[door closes]
127
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:51,476
Vince, you got to stop it.
128
00:05:51,558 --> 00:05:54,103
Your mother
just passed away.
129
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,146
These nuts
passed away on your chin.
130
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:58,232
No, they didn't.
They didn't.
131
00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,442
Vince, listen,
132
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:03,071
you got to leave here right now
and go be with your dad.
133
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:05,031
This could be the last time
that you get to see him.
134
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,200
This could be the last time
I get to see my nuts on your--
135
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,826
God damn it, Vincent.
136
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,204
Your father might be dying.
137
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:14,040
These nuts might be
dying on your chin.
138
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:16,793
God damn it, Vince!
139
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,586
Snap the [bleep] out of it!
140
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:20,421
Your mother is dead.
141
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,261
Right.
You're right.
142
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,806
- You okay?
- I'm okay.
143
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,516
You--you're back.
144
00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:33,017
[whispering]
I don't know what came over me.
145
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,144
- It's all right.
- It was so good.
146
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,021
It was--it just--
147
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,357
It worked in every situation,
and then it was--
148
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,067
I know. I know.
149
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,276
And it was always--
it was just so funny.
150
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,112
Well, it wasn't--
it wasn't that funny.
151
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,197
It was funny.
152
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,949
It really wasn't
that funny, Vince.
153
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:51,244
It was...
really funny.
154
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:54,455
I would not go so far as to
say it was really funny, Vince.
155
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,249
It was funny.
156
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,582
But it wasn't.
157
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,962
It was.
158
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,755
It wasn't.
159
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,507
Agree to disagree.
160
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,300
- It was funny.
- Okay.
161
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,718
- It was funny.
- One more time.
162
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:08,928
I'm just gonna go on record
163
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,555
as saying it wasn't really
that funny.
164
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,142
I'm gonna go see my dad.
165
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,143
It was funny.
166
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,478
It wasn't that funny.
167
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,565
[sweeping orchestration]
168
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:28,406
♪ ♪
169
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,498
Dad.
[breathing heavily]
170
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:40,126
Stay with me.
171
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,462
Dad, I love you.
172
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,506
[monitor beeping]
173
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,009
And I love...
174
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:52,513
These nuts
on your chin.
175
00:07:54,891 --> 00:08:00,188
[flatline]
176
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:08,988
[dad's voice]
These nuts on your chin.
177
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:16,412
[sobbing, wailing]
178
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,376
[haunting Western music]
179
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:25,713
This is all about Susie Diaz.
180
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,548
It's Suzie Diaz's party.
181
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,674
Susie Diaz is running the show.
I'm just gonna show up.
182
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,552
If she needs me to bring beer
or something,
183
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,596
I'm more than happy to do it.
184
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,972
Oh, dude.
Oh, my God.
185
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,475
A woman just fainted.
I'm gonna have to call you back.
186
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:40,019
Ma'am.
187
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:43,563
Ma'am.
188
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,108
Oh...um...
189
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:49,487
[line ringing]
190
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,367
[ringing]
191
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,202
911.
What is your emergency?
192
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:59,247
Yes, yeah. I'm at the corner
of Fifth and Metropolitan,
193
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,249
and I just came up
across this woman,
194
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:04,418
and she just--she just
passed out on the sidewalk here.
195
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:04,877
Okay.
And is she responsive, sir?
196
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,380
Um...
197
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,593
[dramatic melody]
198
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:17,306
Okay, sir?
Is she responsive?
199
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,434
Sir? Sir?
200
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,979
Um, no, she's--
she's not responsive.
201
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,148
She's...beautiful.
202
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,734
♪ ♪
203
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,236
That is not relevant
to this emergency, sir.
204
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,612
An ambulance is on its way.
205
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,949
In the meantime,
I need you to check her pulse.
206
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:35,992
Check her pulse.
Right, check her pulse.
207
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:36,951
Okay.
208
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:39,078
[dramatic melody]
209
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,622
Does she have a pulse, sir?
210
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:42,290
Oh, she does,
211
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,834
but her skin is so soft.
212
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:45,960
Sir...
213
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:48,296
She doesn't have on
a ton of makeup,
214
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,797
but she's the kind of girl
215
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,465
- that just doesn't need it.
- Sir--
216
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,968
You can see that she put a lot
of thought into her outfit,
217
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,303
but not like she's trying
too hard.
218
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,638
She's perfect.
219
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:58,889
Sir, may I remind you
220
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,309
that you have not spoken a word
to this woman?
221
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,852
I need you to see
if she's breathing.
222
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:03,686
Is she breathing?
Yeah, okay. Hold on.
223
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,898
♪ ♪
224
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,484
Sir, I need you
to stay on track.
225
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:11,694
Oh, God. Oh, God,
she's not breathing!
226
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:14,155
The love of my life
is not breathing.
227
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,323
You got to save my baby!
228
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,491
Do you know how to give
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
229
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,576
Yes, I do.
230
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,162
Okay. I need you
to administer that now.
231
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:24,373
Okay, okay.
[exhales sharply]
232
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,670
No, no.
I ca--I can't.
233
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:30,671
I can't do it.
I can't--I can't do it.
234
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,506
It just--
it's disrespectful.
235
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,050
I have to be respectful
for her.
236
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,552
Sir, this is the only time
it's okay to put your mouth
237
00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:38,804
on an unconscious woman.
Do it.
238
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,974
I just didn't picture it
happening this way,
239
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,351
and there's butterflies
in my stomach, and I'm just--
240
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:46,020
[hyperventilating]
I don't want to mess this up.
241
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,564
- It's so rare to find--
- Sir, if you can hear me,
242
00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:50,733
an ambulance is on its way.
243
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,860
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- I need you to calm down.
244
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:53,861
- Oh, gosh, my head.
- Sir?
245
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:56,030
- I'm so light-headed.
- Sir, stay with me.
246
00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:57,573
If this is what it feels
like to be in love,
247
00:10:57,656 --> 00:11:00,076
this is what it must feel like
when you--when you find the one.
248
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,537
Sir, are you there?
249
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,664
[busy signal beeping]
250
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:13,297
[sirens approaching]
251
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:20,388
Oh, God.
252
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,389
[phone beeping]
253
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:24,934
[line ringing]
254
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:25,851
[phone ringing]
255
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,895
911.
What is your emergency?
256
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:31,607
There's an attractive,
confident, well-to-do black man.
257
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:34,276
He just passed out
right here on the street.
258
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,529
Okay.
Ma'am, listen very carefully.
259
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:39,740
I'm going
to need you to marry him.
260
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,117
O-okay.
261
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,703
Shouldn't I give him,
like, mouth-to-mouth first?
262
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,455
Yeah, girl.
Get you some.
263
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,082
Shoot.
264
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:52,920
[haunting Western music]
265
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,966
What would this country
be like if black people--
266
00:11:57,049 --> 00:12:00,845
say we were brought over
as slaves,
267
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:05,474
and then early on, black people
revolted, took over the country,
268
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,643
and said these evil
mother[bleep] are now--
269
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:09,770
are the lower class,
these slavers.
270
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,939
Do you know
what'd happen then?
271
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,608
Then the song Chocolate City
by Parliament Funkadelic
272
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,652
would be
our national anthem.
273
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,070
- That's right.
- That's what it would be.
274
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,615
And white people would have
a song talking about vanillas.
275
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:22,950
"Vanilla Village."
276
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,953
♪ Vanilla Village,
where all the whites live ♪
277
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,288
Here's my question to you.
278
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,790
Would, then...
279
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,835
white people being
the oppressed race,
280
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,920
would they have the soul?
281
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,506
Would they have invented
the blues?
282
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,843
Would there be black people
who are trying to act cool
283
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:44,513
like white people
called "blonkies"?
284
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,473
Man, look
at these blonkies.
285
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,266
And you what
the crazy thing is?
286
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,851
Barack Obama
would still be president.
287
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,478
He would still be president.
288
00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,153
Got some change?
289
00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:01,655
Sorry, man.
I ain't got nothing.
290
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,407
All right.
291
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:11,749
Hold it right there.
292
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,003
[car door closes]
- Let's see some ID.
293
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:17,505
I wasn't even
doing anything, man.
294
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:21,550
- Are you talking back to me?
- No. I was just walking, man.
295
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,219
Look, there is no reason
for you to get upset, sir.
296
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,055
- I'm not. I'm not.
- All right, that's it.
297
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,015
- Put your hands on your head.
- Put my hands on my--
298
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,644
Put your hands
on your head, yes!
299
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:34,188
You had your chance.
300
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:36,148
Listen, man,
301
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,943
can I just ask you, like,
politely, what it is that I did?
302
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:39,860
Think I was born yesterday?
303
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,029
- Come on, man, I--
- Get in the car.
304
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:43,197
Duck your head.
305
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,865
Oh!
306
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,617
Ah.
307
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,539
All right, officer.
308
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:55,042
I'll take it from here.
309
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,169
Well, hi, Wally.
Good to see you.
310
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,338
He's all yours.
311
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,715
All right.
312
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:05,553
- What?
- [chuckles]
313
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:06,804
- Y'all have a good night.
- All right.
314
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,639
Thanks, man,
but where are we going?
315
00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:13,060
I'm glad you asked.
316
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,061
Follow me.
317
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:16,564
Through there?
Aah!
318
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:20,985
- [grunts]
- [laughs]
319
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,279
Whoa.
Look at this place.
320
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,947
Where are we?
321
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,534
Just be patient,
and I'll show you.
322
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,868
Your suit changed.
323
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:30,911
♪ Follow me
to a place I know ♪
324
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,914
♪ Where there ain't no pain,
ain't no sorrow ♪
325
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:37,001
♪ It's a place
to be if your skin is brown ♪
326
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:41,672
♪ I'm talking
about Negrotown ♪
327
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,051
Negrotown?
What, like Atlanta?
328
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,845
[laughs]
Almost.
329
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,763
Now, be quiet
while I sing.
330
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,600
♪ In Negrotown,
you can walk the street ♪
331
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,101
♪ Without getting stopped,
harassed, or beat ♪
332
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:57,271
♪ And there's always a cab
when you need to get around ♪
333
00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,939
[horn honks]
334
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:02,484
- ♪ And they always stop ♪
- ♪ In Negrotown ♪
335
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,611
♪ ♪
336
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,779
I think I'm getting it.
337
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:06,822
It's like a utopia
for black people.
338
00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:09,783
Yeah. But seriously,
shut the [bleep] up.
339
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:15,623
♪ You won't get followed
when you try to shop ♪
340
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:19,585
(all)
♪ You can wear your hoodie
and not get shot ♪
341
00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:22,046
♪ No white folks
to cross the street in fear ♪
342
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:26,175
(all)
♪ No trigger-happy cops
or scared cashiers ♪
343
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:31,138
♪ That loan application
can't get turned down ♪
344
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,349
♪ You're always approved
in Negrotown ♪
345
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,475
This is amazing.
346
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,977
I know, right?
347
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,854
(women)
♪ We're going down
to Negrotown ♪
348
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,773
♪ Where the strong black men
are raining down ♪
349
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:45,027
♪ There's light-skinned,
dark-skinned, every shade ♪
350
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,364
♪ And there's no white bitches
to take them away ♪
351
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,991
♪ ♪
352
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,618
This sounds too good
to be true.
353
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:53,952
It does, doesn't it?
354
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,829
But can a [bleep]
finish a song?
355
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:56,830
Oh.
356
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,500
I mean,
can a [bleep] finish?
357
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,086
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
358
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:04,004
♪ In Negrotown,
you'll live long and well ♪
359
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,839
♪ There's no disease,
no sickle cell ♪
360
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,341
♪ No stupid-ass white folks
touching your hair ♪
361
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:11,261
♪ Or stealing your coats
or claiming it's theirs ♪
362
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:16,016
♪ Hanging out in a group
doesn't make you a gang ♪
363
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,019
♪ Every word that you say
ain't considered slang ♪
364
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:22,022
♪ No one trying to get
in on the latest trend ♪
365
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:26,902
♪ By making you
their token black friend ♪
366
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:30,614
♪ It's a place
where harmony is found ♪
367
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:34,827
(all)
♪ It's a mother[bleep]
black playground ♪
368
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:39,039
♪ Talking
about Negrotown ♪
369
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,915
(all)
♪ Talking about Negro,
talking about Negro ♪
370
00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:42,543
♪ Negro, Negro, Negro ♪
371
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:49,967
♪ Talking about Negrotown ♪
372
00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:56,765
(man)
Sir?
373
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,433
Sir?
374
00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:00,561
Sir?
375
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:03,731
Sir?
- [groaning]
376
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,107
- What?
- All right, get up.
377
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,067
[straining]
Let's go. Get up.
378
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,903
Wait a sec.
Wait. what--Hold on. What?
379
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,405
I thought I was going
to Negrotown.
380
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,240
Oh, you are.
381
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:21,205
♪ ♪
382
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,842
[haunting Western music]
383
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:32,843
- Can I give you an acting note?
- Sure, yeah.
384
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:33,844
I mean 'cause,
we're, you know, actors.
385
00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:36,430
We need to get notes
from one another.
386
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:37,389
- We need to grow.
- Try acting a character
387
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,600
a little bit less.
388
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,101
[laughs]
389
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,603
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
390
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:46,106
[both laughing]
391
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,609
Whoo!
Okay, here we go.
392
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:50,235
All right, I'm--
393
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,446
[laughing]
394
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:55,199
- I'm sorry.
- Get it. Get it.
395
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,618
Get that laugh.
Get it out.
396
00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:00,954
This is, like,
an exercise laugh.
397
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,748
Working them gigs.
398
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:03,624
Got to get them gigs.
399
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:07,127
Got to get them gigs.
400
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,588
[laughs]
Okay, [bleep]--
401
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:11,965
[bleep] it! [bleep] it!
I'm here. [bleep] this [bleep]!
402
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,091
[haunting Western music]
403
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:16,804
My name's Wendell,
and I, too, am a sexual.
404
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,473
[laughter]
405
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:23,310
It is true, though.
406
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:24,645
[laughter]
407
00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:27,147
- Oh, yeah. Thanks, man.
- Did you just call me "man"?
408
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,148
That's how comfortable
I am with you.
409
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,692
But if you were a guy,
I'd still jam my fork
410
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,153
in those
[bleep] roast beef--
411
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,572
[laughter]
412
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,283
Is there a Cyrano de Bergerac
behind you?
413
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,452
I like how you're getting
my side.
414
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,287
God, it's
like you have three hands.
415
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:42,663
There it is.
416
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:45,791
[laughter]
417
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:48,293
No, Papi. No, Papi.
No, Papi. No!
418
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,003
You're talking
about no Papi?
419
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,004
[laughter]
420
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,589
I will skewer you
with my dick!
421
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,466
Yeah?
422
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,051
- Oh, yeah!
- I'll take it!
423
00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:56,635
What else do you--
424
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,762
[laughter]
425
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:02,307
Destination wedding, baby--
Acapulco, June 27th.
426
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,475
All right.
427
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:07,312
[laughter]
428
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:11,358
I wish them terrorists
would try to even think
429
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:15,195
about just dropping
straight--
430
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:15,737
[laughing]
431
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,490
Ah, [bleep].
432
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,951
I'm gonna stay
in this long, though.
433
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:21,702
And now I clinch.
434
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:22,870
Snap.
435
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,163
[laughter]
436
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,707
You snap
that [bleep] dick off!
437
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,376
Oh!
[laughs]
438
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,587
Hold on a second.
I'm over here--
439
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:32,713
Wait a second.
[bleep] got caught up.
440
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:35,299
I'm caught up.
Hold up.
441
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:35,841
We were talking
about breakfast.
442
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:36,675
[belches]
443
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,552
[laughter]
444
00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:41,889
[whispering]
So that's what I'm gonna do...
445
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:45,309
Mark with a K.
446
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,480
[laughter]
447
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:56,945
[haunting Western music]
448
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,961
- Is this the place?
- This is the place.
449
00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:20,761
[sighs]
450
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:34,608
(both)
I said, "Bitch"!
451
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:36,193
- Oh!
- [sighs]
452
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:43,283
- You want to go back?
- Yeah. My girl's expecting me.
453
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,162
[haunting Western music]
454
00:20:47,245 --> 00:20:56,088
♪ ♪
455
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:58,799
(man)
♪ I'm gonna do
my one line here ♪
456
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:00,842
Oh, yeah.
457
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,599
[person coughs]
458
00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:11,061
[coughing]
459
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:16,483
This mother[bleep].
460
00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:17,484
[both laughing]
32035
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