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1
00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:03,795
(woman)
Neil? Neil!
2
00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:04,754
Yes, honey?
3
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,048
Neil deGrasse Tyson,
I asked you
4
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,508
to take the dog out
for a walk
5
00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:11,219
when I left the house
four hours ago.
6
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,220
Now I come back,
7
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:13,054
and this little
mother[bleep] Sputnik
8
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,014
has done pissed
on my drapes.
9
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,559
Now I've got to get rid
of those things
10
00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:18,727
and get new ones.
11
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,895
Neil, it doesn't
make any sense.
12
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,105
You are
an astrophysicist.
13
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:28,653
How can you not keep track
of little details like this?
14
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,655
Well, actually,
15
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,115
it's the little details
16
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:36,161
that cannot be kept track of,
by definition.
17
00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:40,081
In 1927, a German
university lecturer
18
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,875
named Werner Heisenberg
19
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:45,587
came to a seemingly
paradoxical conclusion,
20
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:48,131
that the more we know
about the position
21
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,299
of a particle
in physical space,
22
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:53,178
the less we know about
its momentum, and vice versa.
23
00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:54,763
Okay, but what--
what does that have to do--
24
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,182
Taken in conjunction
with what we know
25
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,559
about the expansion
of the universe,
26
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:02,937
this brings us
to a fascinating possibility,
27
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:07,108
that maybe what we experience
as one point in time-space
28
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:10,361
could actually be
a legion of points,
29
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,031
which would mean
that your curtains
30
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:13,990
and little Sputnik's pee-pee
31
00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:16,785
could be as distant
from one another
32
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:20,205
as we are
from the furthest galaxy.
33
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,375
Okay.
34
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:30,173
Well, just...
next time.
35
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:34,928
Of course, dear.
36
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,972
[haunting Western music]
37
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:44,979
♪ ♪
38
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,042
At some point, man,
I got to, like,
39
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:10,839
slip some--some--some weed
into, like,
40
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,216
some of your cookies
or something,
41
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,260
and just, like,
get you high, man.
42
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,344
Yeah, that would not be
43
00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:17,846
the worst thing
that ever happened.
44
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:19,013
That might be fun.
45
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,683
[sinister laugh]
Also ecstasy.
46
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,810
- I don't know about all that.
- Heroin.
47
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,353
Maybe I'll have
a little marijuana.
48
00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:26,437
Laced with acid.
49
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,564
No, thank you.
50
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,240
Welcome to the team,
Mr. Wise.
51
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:38,533
Thank you.
52
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:42,871
Now, being an Arizona
Assistant State's Attorney
53
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,372
is an important job,
54
00:02:44,454 --> 00:02:45,415
one we take
very seriously.
55
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:50,086
In fact, we are willing
to do anything to win.
56
00:02:50,168 --> 00:02:51,212
It's my honor, sir.
57
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,047
And I look forward to serving
the state of Arizona.
58
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,549
Are these marbles?
59
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,259
How's that?
60
00:02:56,341 --> 00:03:00,054
I was just admiring
your container of marbles.
61
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,764
Why, yes.
62
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,350
My wife got them for me
as a gift...
63
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,560
Oh.
64
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:06,811
For my birthday.
65
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,939
Which brings me
to a speech
66
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,150
I like to give anyone
on their first day
67
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:15,570
here at
the state's attorney office
68
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,697
of Arizona.
69
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:21,034
You see...
Lady Justice
70
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:22,619
is a committed woman.
71
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:23,745
She's a slippery
little scallop,
72
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,247
as you can observe...
73
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,250
[dramatic music]
74
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,837
♪ ♪
75
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,005
She doesn't cook,
doesn't clean,
76
00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:37,425
but what she does do,
is she'll turn a blind eye...
77
00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:46,225
♪ ♪
78
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:47,352
What is going on?
79
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,270
What?
80
00:03:49,353 --> 00:03:50,563
What are you doing?
81
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,023
Oh, uh...
82
00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:53,691
I don't--
83
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:54,651
The marbles, they're just--
84
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,528
I got to tell you,
they're just so beautiful.
85
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,113
I was wondering
what it would feel like
86
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,573
to--in my mouth.
87
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,950
Like, what would
the marbles feel like
88
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:02,951
if they were in my mouth?
89
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,535
[laughs]
That's...you know.
90
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,788
What?
91
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:07,997
Just, you know...you know.
92
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,332
Like, just what would
it feel like
93
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,710
if there were just kind of
a whole ton of marbles
94
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,713
in my--in my face.
95
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:18,091
Well, don't do that.
96
00:04:18,173 --> 00:04:19,634
Just...
97
00:04:19,716 --> 00:04:20,635
Just don't do that.
98
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,513
Yeah, yeah, of course,
of course.
99
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,139
What am I doing over here?
100
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,641
I mean, that's a thing
that a child would do, it is.
101
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:30,603
You were saying?
102
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,064
I was saying
that Lady Justice,
103
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:36,484
she just stands there
in my office,
104
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,860
looking at me.
105
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:45,868
♪ ♪
106
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:03,344
Hey!
107
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,513
Forget the marbles, boy!
108
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,560
Spit the marbles out,
please.
109
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:11,894
There you go.
110
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,690
[marbles clacking]
111
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,529
Well...
112
00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:22,405
All right.
113
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:25,199
Ah--
114
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,037
[marble clacks]
115
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,750
How many--really?
116
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,627
Do you have any--
117
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:37,879
[marble rolling]
118
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:39,839
[stomps]
119
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:42,216
I'm gonna wait
for the last--
120
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,301
I'm assuming there's--
121
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:46,137
Yeah.
122
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,598
I know there's another one
in there.
123
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,187
- Nope.
- All right.
124
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,065
I am so--I'm--they're just
so beautiful.
125
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,358
I can't--
it's just these marbles.
126
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,651
I got to tell you.
127
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,278
You obviously don't
take this job very seriously.
128
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:03,154
I do, sir.
129
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:04,697
It's just these
particular marbles.
130
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:05,907
I just needed to feel
131
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,450
what they felt like
in my mouth.
132
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,827
I don't know what is wrong
with me.
133
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,621
You know we do serious
business here, right?
134
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:12,747
Yes, I do know that.
135
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:13,581
I'm 100% aware of that.
136
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:14,999
'Cause I've forgotten
where I was.
137
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,210
You were saying that Justice
138
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,128
is a dumb, blind, old lady.
I heard every word.
139
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,088
Yes--no!
140
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,298
She's not dumb.
141
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,219
But she is blind.
142
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,930
She's reminiscent
of Kerry Washington
143
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:29,972
in her prime.
144
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:38,606
♪ ♪
145
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,566
Good God.
146
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:44,195
[muffled shouting]
147
00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:46,322
[muffled yelping]
148
00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:48,366
[muffled shouting]
149
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,747
[coughing]
150
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,916
[choking]
151
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:58,918
[muffled groaning]
152
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:00,336
[choking]
153
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:07,802
[marbles clattering]
154
00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:10,638
[atmospheric choral music]
155
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:18,354
♪ ♪
156
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:19,272
[intercom beeps]
157
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:23,276
Janice, send in
the cleanup crew.
158
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:28,531
Another one fell
for the marble trick.
159
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,242
[chuckling]
160
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,246
[humming]
161
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:42,003
(man)
Oh, man, I feel like crap.
162
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,838
I just came from
a trashy Indian restaurant
163
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,506
in a strip mall.
164
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,007
Not bad food, though.
165
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,092
Got pretty lucky.
166
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,636
Got the hottest,
baddest curry
167
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,471
I ever ate in my life.
168
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,765
Place called Naan Sense,
Indian joint,
169
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,350
just, like, Terminal 3.
170
00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:57,643
It's like, I'm going
171
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,145
to my brother's wedding
on Sunday, and it's like,
172
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,564
I don't even want to go.
173
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:02,690
I don't even like my brother.
174
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:04,025
My brother's, like, a jerk.
175
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:05,401
Don't like his wife.
176
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:06,485
She's, like, a bitch.
177
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,403
[rumbling]
178
00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:08,446
I stayed with them
for, like, three weeks.
179
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:10,364
She was a bitch
to me, man.
180
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,283
I put my feet
on her coffee table.
181
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:13,993
She was like, "Don't get
your feet on my coffee--"
182
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,161
I'm like, "Who are you?"
183
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:16,495
[demonic growling]
184
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,538
[rumbling]
Scrimps.
185
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,624
A ginger broad, man, like...
186
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:20,625
[rumbling]
Scrimps.
187
00:08:20,707 --> 00:08:21,209
Those are the worst people
on the planet.
188
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,002
So I said that to him.
189
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:24,253
I said that to him
in the parking lot.
190
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,422
I cornered him
a little bit, sure.
191
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:28,716
(demonic voice)
Scrimps.
192
00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:29,717
He swung on me.
193
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,093
Can you believe that?
194
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,054
It's like, who sings
on their own brother, man?
195
00:08:33,136 --> 00:08:34,429
Yeah, I swung back...
196
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,099
[demonic growling]
197
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,476
But that's cool, you know.
198
00:08:38,558 --> 00:08:39,769
It's like, I haven't
seen him for a while,
199
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,895
but now I got this expensive
wedding I have to go to.
200
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,063
So it's crazy.
201
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,775
I got to get my tickets,
202
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,026
and that's a whole situation.
203
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,277
I hate doing that.
204
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,695
And--hold on a second.
205
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,323
Hey, hey, pal pal.
206
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:53,866
Start on
the downstairs bits.
207
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:54,909
I'm in the middle
of a conversation up here.
208
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:58,120
[rumbling]
209
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,915
- Hey.
- Of course, of course.
210
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:01,999
Whatever you say.
211
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,126
Thank you.
212
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:04,919
Sorry about that.
213
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,421
Just have
a little guy here
214
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:08,464
working on my suit...
215
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,759
(demonic voice)
From the eternal, from within.
216
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:14,720
You know, I mean, there's always
chicks at the wedding, right?
217
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,390
There is a guy in there.
218
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:18,766
- The answer is yes.
- [muttering nervously]
219
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,685
And hopefully, you know,
I can get, like,
220
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,061
two down in one evening,
you know?
221
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:23,354
[exhales]
222
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:24,855
And speaking of
"two down in one evening,"
223
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:28,442
if they've got popcorn shrimp
and little lobster rolls,
224
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,610
I'm a happy man.
225
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,363
But they're not
going to have that...
226
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,115
(demonic voice)
Stop!
227
00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:35,533
Who goes there?
228
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:40,913
Sal.
229
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,457
My name is Sal.
230
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:46,586
(demonic voice)
Sal...the end is near.
231
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,837
What?
232
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,463
Why--what--
[stammering]
233
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:50,464
What do you mean?
234
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,717
(demonic voice)
Everything is changing.
235
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,676
What do you mean?
236
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,304
(demonic voice)
The end is near, Sal.
237
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,805
No, I don't know
what you mean.
238
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:58,806
What do you mean?
239
00:09:58,889 --> 00:09:59,932
I don't want to die!
240
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,058
(demonic voice)
There's nothing you can do.
241
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,560
The end is near.
242
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,854
Everything is changing.
243
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,690
From the eternal,
from within.
244
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,108
No, I don't want to die!
245
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,651
What do you mean?
246
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:12,320
(demonic voice)
The end is near.
247
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,697
(Sal)
What?
248
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,948
[squeaky fart]
249
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:18,868
Sorry about that, man.
250
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,244
Of course.
251
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,412
[bell chimes]
252
00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:23,748
Change is coming.
253
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,418
[bell chimes]
254
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,590
The craziest part
of all of this,
255
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,008
I actually am
on acid right now.
256
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,009
Are you right now?
257
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:36,177
- Yeah.
- Wow.
258
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,887
Like, for instance,
I don't even--
259
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:38,888
I'm 90% sure you're here.
260
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,348
[laughs]
261
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,183
But if I shut my eyes
and you weren't,
262
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,435
I would not be surprised.
263
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:45,770
You would not be surprised
264
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,688
if this car just kind of
lifted off in the air
265
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,565
and just started driving
through space
266
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,691
with a rainbow trail.
267
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,318
- Mm-hmm.
- You would not be surprised.
268
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:57,156
Hey, none of this is real,
man.
269
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,283
None of this is real,
okay?
270
00:10:59,367 --> 00:10:59,992
Just surface--
271
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,953
[screaming]
272
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,291
- Yo.
- What's up?
273
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,501
Game of Thrones,
though, dog.
274
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,211
Yo, you all caught up?
275
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,587
Yo, I totally binge-watched
276
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,130
that whole thing
last night, dog.
277
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:16,050
Yo, it's cold-blooded
up in Westeros, dog.
278
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:18,052
They killed my [bleep] Ned!
279
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:18,928
Ned Starks?
280
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:22,848
[hums Game of Thrones
theme song]
281
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:23,641
You ain't see that one
coming, did you?
282
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,226
- Oh, [bleep], hell no.
- Uh-uh.
283
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:26,352
- Oh, my God.
- Uh-uh.
284
00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:29,105
I mean, my man
was just there, right?
285
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,523
And he got down there
on the thing.
286
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,066
- Like blip.
- [makes sword noise]
287
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,359
And then I was like,
"I ain't worried.
288
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:34,819
They ain't gonna kill
my boy Ned Starks!"
289
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:35,945
- Slit.
- And then plop.
290
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:36,987
I was like...
291
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,364
[screaming]
292
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:39,490
Yo, I told you they
cold-blooded up in there.
293
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,575
And then I was like,
"But that's okay,
294
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,577
because I still got
my [bleep] Khal Drogos."
295
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:44,703
Big Dave Navarro?
296
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:45,746
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
297
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:46,831
Big Dave Navarro?
298
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,208
Widdly-widdly-widdly
widdly-wow!
299
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:50,918
Yeah, that dude picked up
some molten gold,
300
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,253
poured it
on [bleep] heads.
301
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:53,379
[screaming]
302
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:53,921
"I want to sleep
with my sister!"
303
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:55,840
Yo.
304
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:56,924
And he killed him, right?
305
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:57,758
I mean, he big like Hercules
and everything.
306
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,135
I'm like, you can't
kill Khal Drogos
307
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,095
with a paper cut.
308
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:01,595
An infected scratch
up on there?
309
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:02,513
An infected scratch!
310
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:03,848
- But he got straight...
(both) Killed!
311
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,767
Yo, but you know who my
favorite character is, dog?
312
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:07,768
Who's that, dog?
313
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:08,102
Pssst!
Khaleesies.
314
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:09,937
Khaleesi.
315
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,939
You know I be liking
some Khaleesies, dog.
316
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,732
But what about Khaleesies
317
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,109
straight-up
with the dragons?
318
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,569
Oh, it's--
319
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:17,319
Khaleesies
with the dragons.
320
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,947
And Khaleesi's
all like this.
321
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,491
And then we talking about--
[screeching]
322
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,451
[screeching]
323
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:24,827
[both screeching]
324
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:25,744
Whoosh!
325
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:26,036
Just straight
roasting goats!
326
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,037
Yo!
327
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,039
Oh, my God.
328
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,124
And that's when they start
329
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:32,126
killing characters
left and right, dog!
330
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:34,044
- At the wedding?
- Yo, at the wedding!
331
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,045
- Robb Starks.
- What?
332
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,046
- His wife.
- What?
333
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,465
- They got his mama!
- Yo!
334
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,467
(both)
Killed, killed, killed, killed!
335
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,634
That was a four-for-one, dog.
336
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,802
Four-for-one up there, dog.
337
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:42,845
That's a straight
four-for-one, dog.
338
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:43,846
Four-for-one up in there.
339
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:44,972
What about when they
got wildlings girl?
340
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:45,931
Talking about...
341
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,683
"You know nothing,
Jon Snow."
342
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:49,310
- Screek!
- Guh!
343
00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:49,977
(both)
Killed!
344
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,312
What about the Hound, though?
345
00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:52,104
- Yo!
- The Hound!
346
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,856
"Ah, I'm falling
down the hill!"
347
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,065
[indistinct shouting]
348
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:56,317
[humming]
349
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,276
"Kill me!
350
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,819
You've got to kill me!"
351
00:12:58,903 --> 00:12:59,820
[high-pitched]
"No!"
352
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:00,863
(both)
Killed!
353
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:01,155
Slowly, by omission.
354
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:02,907
Bingo.
355
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,408
Yo, what about my man
Taiwan Lannisters?
356
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,451
Taiwan Lannisters.
357
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,494
Taiwan Lannisters!
358
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:07,745
What about Taiwan Lannisters,
dog?
359
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:08,996
Yo, my man talking about,
360
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,331
"I'm taking a [bleep]."
361
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,374
He's like--ow!
362
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,168
(both)
Killed!
363
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:15,211
By his own son.
364
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,337
What?
365
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,338
Da Dinkles.
366
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:18,339
[gasps]
367
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:19,340
Da Dinkles.
368
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:20,341
Da Dinkles, yo.
369
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:21,759
Da Dinkles.
370
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:22,718
Da Dinkles!
371
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,011
Dinkles is my jam.
372
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:24,845
Can't nobody kill da Dinkles!
373
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,931
Da Dinkles is my jam,
my jelly,
374
00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,390
my peanut butter,
and my peanuts.
375
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,017
- Dinkles.
- Da Dinkles.
376
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,769
Dinkles, though!
377
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:36,273
(both)
Dinkles is my [bleep]!
378
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,276
[voices fading]
379
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:45,282
[dramatic music]
380
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:49,245
(woman)
Neil!
381
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,205
There you are.
382
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,373
What are you doing?
383
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:54,750
We have to go
to my Aunt Nelly's funeral.
384
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:57,086
How are you not ready?
385
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,712
I've been talking to you
about this all week.
386
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,549
How am I gonna find you
in your boxers
387
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,884
looking in
a science magazine?
388
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:04,927
[sighs]
389
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,595
I swear, Neil,
390
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,846
sometimes I think
391
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:11,850
you don't have any idea
of what's important.
392
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,853
Well...actually...
393
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,231
an idea of what's important
394
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,149
is as close
as we can ever come
395
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,277
to any definition
of importance.
396
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,405
Our galaxy is one
397
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:28,242
of over 100 billion
in the observable universe,
398
00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:31,203
and it's 100,000
light-years across,
399
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:36,417
which means it would take light
100,000 years to traverse.
400
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,710
Okay, but--
401
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,878
But that's just space.
402
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:43,757
If we were to chart
the history of the universe
403
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,759
on one calendar year,
404
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,512
the history of mankind
as we know it,
405
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,680
would just take place
406
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:50,931
in the final second
of that year.
407
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:55,436
So, whether I'm ready now
or in 500 years,
408
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,605
well, cosmically speaking,
409
00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:01,609
the distinction is meaningless.
410
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:02,943
Well...okay.
411
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:09,825
I'm--I'm going now.
412
00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:14,872
Good-bye, honey.
413
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:19,835
True story.
414
00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:21,879
I went down to San Francisco
with my girlfriend.
415
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:22,796
Brup-brup-brup.
416
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,298
And we were going
to an event,
417
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,258
and Bill Nye
the Science Guy...
418
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:27,384
[gasps]
Was there?
419
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,093
No joke.
420
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,887
Bill Nye
hit on my girlfriend
421
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:30,387
in front of my face.
422
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,555
Did he really?
423
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,642
Bill Nye the Science Guy...
424
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:35,601
You need the back
the [bleep] up.
425
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:38,020
Dude, pussy hound, man.
426
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,606
That guy
has laid down pipe.
427
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:41,357
Probably
polycarbonate pipe.
428
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,108
Probably.
429
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:49,281
[chatter on TV]
430
00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:56,622
[phone ringing]
431
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:57,956
Hello, this is Gavin.
432
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,875
(Colin)
Hi, Gavin, my name
is Colin Valenti.
433
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:03,170
I'm calling from
Master Travel Incorporated
434
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:04,546
to tell you about an exciting
limited-time offer,
435
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:07,257
exclusive Las Vegas getaway.
436
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:08,175
Can I have a few moments
of your time
437
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:09,635
to tell you
about this new package?
438
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:11,845
You know what,
I would love to,
439
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,722
but I just don't have the time.
440
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,057
[phone beeps]
441
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,225
Hello?
442
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:18,686
Hello?
443
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,188
[disconnect tone]
444
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:22,606
Hm.
445
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:43,502
[touch tones beeping]
446
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:44,712
[line trilling]
447
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,172
[phone ringing]
448
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:50,384
(Colin)
This is Colin Valenti,
Master Travel Incorporated.
449
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:50,884
How may I be of service?
450
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,553
Hi, Colin Valenti.
451
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:54,138
My name is Gavin.
452
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:54,722
I think we just talked.
453
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,558
Did we get disconnected?
454
00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:00,102
(Colin)
Yeah, no--I mean, yeah,
I hung up on you.
455
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:03,689
Why would you do that?
456
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:06,108
I mean, are you even--
457
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:08,484
Are you even allowed
to do that?
458
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,405
(Colin)
Were you going to buy
the Las Vegas package?
459
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:12,740
Well, I mean, probably not,
but that's not the point.
460
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,575
(Gavin)
The point is--
461
00:17:14,657 --> 00:17:16,076
[phone beeps]
462
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,243
What the hell?
463
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:18,579
[touch tones beeping]
464
00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:20,455
[line trilling]
465
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:21,457
(Colin)
This is Colin--
466
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:22,790
Yeah, Valenti.
Listen.
467
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,626
(Gavin)
I don't know what
crawled up your ass
468
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:25,794
and set up shop there,
but you don't get to hang up--
469
00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:27,671
[phone beeps]
[gasps]
470
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,882
What?
471
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,967
Oh, my g--
472
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:32,468
[line trilling]
473
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,804
[phone ringing]
474
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,265
(Colin)
What the [bleep] do you want?
475
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,349
What is your deal, huh?
476
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:42,436
(Colin)
Um, you don't want
the Vegas package,
477
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:43,353
so I don't want to talk.
478
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,439
I did us a favor,
wasting our time here.
479
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,857
(Gavin)
Stop, stop, don't you dare
480
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:50,444
hang up that [bleep] phone,
okay?
481
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:51,445
(Colin)
Why shouldn't I?
482
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:52,821
Why shou--
483
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,907
What if I wanted
the Vegas package?
484
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,533
Wha--you know what?
485
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,619
I want the Vegas package.
486
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:01,789
(Colin)
Sure you do.
487
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:02,790
[phone beeps]
488
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,082
What?
489
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,126
You mother[bleep]!
490
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,377
Oh, my God!
491
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:08,462
You son of a bitch.
492
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:11,131
[line trilling]
493
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,133
(Colin)
Come on, man, let it go.
494
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,218
[bleep] you, man!
495
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:15,135
[bleep] you!
496
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,513
I want five [bleep] packages!
497
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,764
Right now--you know what?
498
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,057
(Gavin)
You know what?
Where's my wallet?
499
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,725
This is my credit card
number, right here.
500
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,893
Okay, listen.
501
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:24,019
Get [bleep] off me.
502
00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:27,815
My credit card number
is 0074-5403-0098.
503
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:31,109
The expiration date
is 12-20!
504
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:31,819
And then--and then the--
oh, yeah!
505
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,779
The security number is 084!
506
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:36,824
So run the damn card right now!
507
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:37,950
Right [bleep] now!
508
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,077
You run it right [bleep] now,
asshole!
509
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,996
[suspenseful music]
510
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,832
(Colin)
Thank you for your business.
511
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:48,377
Well, I hope
you learned your le--
512
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,878
[phone beeps]
[gasps]
513
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,797
[screaming]
514
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,761
These new call scripts
are really great.
515
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,054
Yeah, I know, right?
516
00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:00,264
[phone rings]
517
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:06,603
What the [bleep]
do you want, Kathy?
518
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,522
(woman)
Neil!
519
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:09,773
Who is she?
520
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,108
Who is the white bitch
521
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:13,819
that left this
goddamn lipstick stain
522
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:15,571
on your collar?
523
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,281
Hmm?
524
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,448
Oh, I got you.
525
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,868
You're caught,
526
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,911
because this
is apricot-colored,
527
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,204
and you know
who wears that?
528
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,581
White bitches.
529
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,416
And you can't talk your way
out of this one,
530
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,042
'cause I'm not
getting confused today,
531
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,460
'cause I got
my [bleep] in order
532
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:31,837
and I've done
my research.
533
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,088
Okay, Neil?
534
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:38,051
You see, we are here
at this point in space-time,
535
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,219
on a human scale.
536
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:40,637
But at this point,
537
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:41,847
You a triflin'-ass
mother[bleep].
538
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:45,183
So expect the papers
from the lawyer,
539
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,059
'cause we're parting ways.
540
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,648
Well, actually...
541
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,150
No, no.
542
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,944
We are always parting ways
and not parting ways
543
00:19:56,028 --> 00:20:00,324
in every conceivable
combination.
544
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:03,410
Many physicists,
including Stephen Hawking,
545
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,244
now believe that there is
546
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:08,248
an infinite number
of universes.
547
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,250
It's called multiverse theory,
548
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:13,754
and it suggests that there are
an infinite number of universes
549
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:17,758
in which I didn't have sex
with that white woman.
550
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,593
I [bleep] Bill Nye
the Science Guy.
551
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,094
You bitch.
552
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:27,935
Bill Nye, little bitch.
553
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:30,103
Looking like a pimple
554
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:32,606
that I'm about to itch.
555
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:37,611
Scratch off your head,
mother[bleep].
556
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,947
[voice cracking]
Try and take my girl?
557
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,406
You a sucker.
558
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,788
(Keegan-Michael)
None of this is real.
559
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:52,501
(Jordan)
Oh...[bleep]!
560
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:53,585
♪ I'm gonna do
my one line here ♪
561
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:56,254
Oh, yeah.
562
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:01,593
His dick was as big
as the Milky Way.
563
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:05,222
You [bleep] bitch.
564
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:07,599
And as heavy as a quasar.
565
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:10,060
You are a black hole,
566
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,061
sucking up
every man you meet.
37208
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