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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,876 --> 00:00:03,044 - NO, NO, NO. - YES. 2 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:03,670 - HERE'S THE THING. HERE'S THE THING. 3 00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:05,422 - OKAY. - OKAY. 4 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,006 I GUARANTEE YOU. 5 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:10,260 I GUARANTEE YOU, IF YOU LOOK AT OBAMACARE 25 YEARS FROM NOW, 6 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:14,305 AND YOU LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF ENROLLEES IN THAT PROGRAM-- 7 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:15,390 - NO, NO, NO, NO, LISTEN. NO, YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG. 8 00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:16,433 - NO, PLEASE, BY ALL MEANS, TALK. 9 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:17,642 - YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG. 10 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:19,144 YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE ENROLLED 11 00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:20,478 IN THE HEALTHCARE SYSTEM 12 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:23,106 AND THE TREMENDOUS EFFECT THAT IT HAS ON THE ECONOMY. 13 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,066 - YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT. - IF YOU'RE GONNA-- 14 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,234 - YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT. - OH, AM I? 15 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:28,361 - WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO 16 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,821 IS LOOK AT THE TREMENDOUS EFFECT 17 00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:32,490 THAT OBAMACARE IS HAVING ON THE U.S. ECONOMY. 18 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:35,160 AND IN ADDITION, YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE GOVERNMENT BAILOUTS 19 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:36,703 OF THE AUTO INDUSTRY AND THE BANKING INDUSTRY. 20 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,204 - YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG. YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG. 21 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,539 - I'VE GOT IT WRONG? - SO WRONG. 22 00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:42,667 YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE EFFECT ON THE BANKING INDUSTRY 23 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,711 AS WELL AS THE AUTO INDUSTRY, MY FRIEND. 24 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:45,795 - OKAY, LISTEN. - WHEN YOU DO-- 25 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,589 - THE BOTTOM LINE. - NO, THE ONLY CONCLUSION... 26 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:48,465 - THE BOTTOM LINE... 27 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,134 both: IS THAT OBAMA IS A DISASTER. 28 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:58,975 ARE YOU A REPUBLICAN? 29 00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:01,978 YES. 30 00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:05,857 - I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS PROGRAMMING MISTAKE. 31 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,859 IN THE FUTURE, WE WILL DO BETTER AT CHOOSING OUR GUESTS 32 00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:12,071 HERE ON DIAMETRICALLY OPPOSED. 33 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:22,414 [haunting Western music] 34 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:27,212 ♪ ♪ 35 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:44,687 - PRESIDENT, MAN. 36 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,190 HE'S GOT TWO MORE YEARS, DUDE. 37 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,567 THINGS ARE CRAZY RIGHT NOW. - MM HMM. 38 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,860 - MAN, IT'S--THIS IS CRAZY, PEOPLE IN ISIS JUST JAM-- 39 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:52,987 JAMMING UP THE JIMMER. 40 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,114 - THOSE DUDES ARE TRIPPING ME OUT, DOG. 41 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,700 WHERE YOU-- WHERE Y'ALL COMING FROM? 42 00:01:57,783 --> 00:01:59,828 - DUDE, HALF THEM DUDES USED TO BE IN AL-QAEDA. 43 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,246 - HOW IRONIC. 44 00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:04,207 - NOW THE FUNNY THING IS ISIS HAPPENS, AND NOW OBAMA'S GOT 45 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,583 TO GET ALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT. 46 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,169 - YOU KNOW, DUDE, I MEAN, 47 00:02:08,252 --> 00:02:09,838 CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW DONE 48 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,047 WITH THIS [bleep] OBAMA HAS GOT TO BE? 49 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,383 I MEAN, SO STRESSFUL. - I CAN'T IMAGINE. 50 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,384 HE'S GONNA LOOK LIKE RIP VAN WINKLE WHEN HE'S DONE. 51 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,344 - YUP. 52 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:17,554 - WISH I HAD SOME MORE THINGS TO SAY 53 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:21,224 THAT WEREN'T COMPLETELY POLITICALLY POLARIZING. 54 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,934 - I WISH. 55 00:02:26,478 --> 00:02:30,066 ♪ ♪ 56 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:38,199 - BROTHERS. BROTHERS, LET US BEGIN. 57 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:42,120 I HAVE CONVENED THIS MEETING TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. 58 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:48,251 WHY HAVE WE NOT TAKEN A PLANE IN 13 YEARS? 59 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:53,173 - KHALIV. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. 60 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:58,928 IT IS ALL BECAUSE THE CUNNING AND MIGHTY TSA 61 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,806 IS ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD OF US. 62 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,642 - I DO NOT BELIEVE IT! - IT'S TRUE. 63 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,020 LAST MONTH, I ATTEMPTED TO TAKE DOWN A PLANE 64 00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,938 WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS FIVE INCHES LONG. 65 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,649 - THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PERFECT PLAN. 66 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,193 WHY DID IT NOT WORK? 67 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:19,407 - BECAUSE THE SHREWD TSA, 68 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:20,783 THEY MADE RESTRICTIONS 69 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,453 SO YOU CAN ONLY TAKE A FOUR-INCH SCISSORS. 70 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:23,828 FOUR INCHES. - WHAT? 71 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,622 - YEAH. 72 00:03:25,704 --> 00:03:27,081 - HOW COULD THEY KNOW THAT A FIVE-INCH BLADE 73 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,124 IS A DANGEROUS WEAPON AND A FOUR-INCH BLADE 74 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:30,919 IS NO MORE THAN A CHILD'S PLAY THING? 75 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,422 - THAT IS THE GENIUS OF TSA. 76 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,341 THEY FOIL US AT EVERY TURN. 77 00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:38,384 - DEVILS! 78 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,761 - YOU KNOW, IT'S THE SAME WAY WITH THE LIQUID. 79 00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:42,388 - OH, YEAH. 80 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,805 - WE ALL KNOW HOW MUCH DEVASTATION 81 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,892 WE CAN WREAK WITH 3.5 OUNCES OF LIQUID. 82 00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:49,062 - THE--THE DAMAGE IS INCALCULABLE. 83 00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,647 - THE CRAFTY TSA, 84 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:54,859 THEY HAVE LIMITED PASSENGERS TO ONLY 3.4 OUNCES. 85 00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:55,860 - DAMN IT! 86 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:56,819 - YEAH. 87 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,697 - DO NONE OF YOU HAVE THE SOLUTION HOW-- 88 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,616 FOR US TO THWART THIS TSA? 89 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:02,659 - KHALIV, KHALIV. 90 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:06,204 IT'S LIKE YOU'VE BEEN LIVING IN A--WELL, HERE. 91 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:10,833 LOOK...THE TSA, THEY STRIKE FEAR INTO MY HEART 92 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,086 WITH THEIR POLYESTER SHIRTS 93 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:17,923 AND THEIR DISPOSABLE RUBBER GLOVES. 94 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,843 AND THE--AND THE-- THE SNEAKER SHOES! 95 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,845 - THEY ARE SO CLEVER. 96 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,180 - CLEVER. - YES. 97 00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:27,850 THEY--THEY ACT AS IF THEY ARE LISTLESS, OVERWEIGHT EMPLOYEES 98 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,645 WHO DON'T GIVE A [bleep]. 99 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:33,231 WHEN IN REALITY, 100 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:37,485 THEY ARE AN ELITE FORCE OF ANTI-TERRORIST COMMANDOS! 101 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:41,364 - OH, CURSE THE BRILLIANT TSA. 102 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,615 - IF I MAY. 103 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:48,371 I BELIEVE I HAVE A WAY TO TRIUMPH OVER THE WILY TSA. 104 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,331 - FINALLY. - OKAY. 105 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:51,832 - LET'S GIVE HIM A SHOT. 106 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:55,503 - I HAVE A PLAN TO PUT A BOMB IN A LAPTOP, 107 00:04:55,586 --> 00:05:00,550 AND IT WILL DETONATE ONCE YOU PULL IT FROM ITS CASE. 108 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,344 - YES! YES, IT IS PERFECT! 109 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:07,765 PLANES WILL RAIN DOWN FROM THE SKY ONTO THE INFIDELS! 110 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:13,229 [all chanting and singing] 111 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,565 WHAT? PARVEZ, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? 112 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:19,152 - S--S--SNEAK IN HERE FOR A SECOND, 'CAUSE I DON'T-- 113 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,903 I DON'T WANT TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS HERE-- 114 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,864 - THEN DON'T BE! - YET YOU ARE. 115 00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:28,703 - IT'S AS IF THE PROPHETIC AND ALL-KNOWING TSA 116 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:31,372 HAS PREDICTED YOUR PLAN. 117 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,750 THEY MAKE YOU TAKE THE LAPTOP OUT OF THE CARRYING CASE 118 00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:36,044 AND PUT IT IN A SEPARATE BIN BEFORE YOU GET ON THE PLANE. 119 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:38,046 - COME ON, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. 120 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,048 YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. 121 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,799 ARE YOU KIDDING ME, PARVEZ? 122 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:42,842 'CAUSE IT'S NOT A FUNNY JOKE IF IT'S A JOKE. 123 00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:45,428 - IT'S NO TIME FOR KIDDING. I WOULDN'T KID. 124 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,554 - OH, MY GOD. - NO. 125 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,806 - I CANNOT BELIEVE THESE MOTHERS OF DEVILS. 126 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:49,807 - YEAH. 127 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,726 - WELL, VERY WELL, THEN. 128 00:05:51,808 --> 00:05:53,519 SINCE YOU HAVE ALL FAILED, 129 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:57,482 I WILL TELL YOU HOW WE WILL DESTROY THE NONBELIEVERS. 130 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:01,778 I HAVE DEVELOPED THE SMALLEST BOMB POSSIBLE. 131 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:06,866 AND IT FITS PERFECTLY INTO THIS, 132 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:11,913 A FULL-SIZED TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE. 133 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,414 YES! IT'S REALLY GREAT, ISN'T IT? 134 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,041 I MEAN, IT'S THE-- - DON'T DO HIM LIKE THAT. 135 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,293 - WHAT'S GOING ON OVER HERE? 136 00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:17,752 WHAT'S THE SITUATION OVER HERE? 137 00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:22,048 - OKAY. 138 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,717 IS THERE A VERSION OF THE TOOTHPASTE BOMB 139 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:28,262 THAT COMES IN TRAVEL-SIZE? 140 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,889 - YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S LIKE THEY'RE IN OUR HEADS. 141 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,982 - DUDE, SOMETIMES MY DOGS JUST BE LOOKING FORLORN. 142 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,193 I'M LIKE, "ARE YOU DEPRESSED?" I'M LIKE, DUDE. 143 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:45,321 - HE'S JUST PRETTY CHILL, I THINK. 144 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:47,532 - BUT I DO FEEL LIKE--I FEEL KIND OF, LIKE, 145 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:48,533 BAD FOR MY DOG, LIKE. 146 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:51,536 HE'S--I'M JUST VERY CONSCIOUS OF THE FACT 147 00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:55,581 THAT HE'S NOT A HUMAN AND CAN'T UNDERSTAND 148 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:58,459 HOW HE'S DIFFERENT FROM EVERYBODY AROUND HIM. 149 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,504 - RIGHT, BUT--BUT--BUT THAT'S THE GOOD THING, 150 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,839 IS HE CAN'T UNDERSTAND. 151 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,090 HE CAN'T COMPREHEND IT. - BUT HE WANTS TO UNDERSTAND. 152 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,175 - IT'S LIKE-- - [laughs] 153 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,385 YOU SAID-- 154 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,387 - IT'S LIKE, "WHY ARE THERE DIFFERENT RULES 155 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,514 FOR ME THAN THESE OTHER BEINGS AROUND ME?" 156 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:12,765 - OH, NO. 157 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,392 SEE, SEE, NOW YOU'RE TREATING HIM LIKE A PERSON. 158 00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:15,268 - WELL, YOUR MOTHER[bleep] SLEEP ON YOUR BED. 159 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,686 - LITERALLY WENT TO THE CHIROPRACTOR, 160 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,354 WENT TO THE CHIROPRACTOR AND I SAID--SHE SAID, "HOW ARE YOU?" 161 00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:19,689 I SAID, "I'VE BEEN SLEEPING VERY WELL." 162 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,525 SHE SAID, "NO DOGS IN THE BED?" AND I WENT, "YUP." 163 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:23,693 - AND YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH? 164 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:24,235 - THAT'S RIGHT, I WAS IN MICHIGAN FOR TWO WEEKS, 165 00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:25,778 NO DOGS IN THE BED, 166 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,196 BACK WAS BETTER. 167 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,240 COME HOME, CYNTHIA GOT THREE PEOPLE IN THE BED, 168 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:31,200 LIKE SHE IN A HIPPIE ORGY. 169 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,909 - WAIT! THREE PEOPLE? 170 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,871 YOU MEAN HER AND-- 171 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:35,371 - THREE PEOPLE, THREE--HER AND THE DOGS, 172 00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:36,873 NOT THREE PEOPLE. 173 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,207 - SO YOU CALL THE DOGS PEOPLE. 174 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,125 - I JUST CALLED THE DOGS PEOPLE, WHICH IS--WHICH IS SOMETHING 175 00:07:39,207 --> 00:07:40,209 I ACCUSE HER OF ALL THE TIME. 176 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,085 - YEAH. 177 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,211 - I ACCUSE HER OF THAT ALL THE TIME. 178 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,212 I'M LIKE-- - YEAH, YEAH. 179 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,463 - YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOT PEOPLE. 180 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,007 AND THEN--AND THEN SHE LEAVES THE ROOM, 181 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,342 AND I'M TALKING ENGLISH TO THEM LIKE THEY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. 182 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:55,933 - all: OH! - WHOO HOO HOO! 183 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,686 - EDUARDO, MAN, YOU ARE SO LOCO, MAN! 184 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,771 - WOW. 185 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,191 - WE NEED A CRAZY VATO LIKE YOU IN OUR GANG. 186 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,400 - SI. 187 00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:08,154 - WITH THIS BANDANA, I WELCOME YOU TO THE GANG. 188 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,405 - YO. 189 00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:10,406 HOLD UP. 190 00:08:10,489 --> 00:08:11,866 - OH...KAY. 191 00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:12,366 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 192 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:15,411 - HEY. CARLITO. 193 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:19,123 UH, I WAS JUST WELCOMING EDUARDO INTO THE GANG. 194 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:22,043 - WHY? WHO HE? 195 00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:23,711 WHAT HE DID? 196 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:26,005 - HE'S--HE'S CRAZY, MAN. 197 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:28,257 WE--WE WERE THINKING THAT THE GANG NEEDS A CRAZY GUY. 198 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:31,802 - YEAH, YEAH, MAN. THIS GUY IS LOCO. 199 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,597 SHOW HIM, EDUARDO. 200 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,270 LOCO! 201 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,273 - THAT'S MUY LOCO. 202 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,608 - LOCO. HUH? 203 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,945 - NO, NO. I'M THE LOCO ONE IN THIS GANG. 204 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,112 - WHAT? OKAY, OKAY. 205 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:55,576 - CHECK THIS OUT. 206 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,120 QUACK, QUACK, QUACK. QUACK-QUACK. 207 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,497 I'M A DUCK. 208 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:00,122 I'M A CRAZY DUCK. 209 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,208 - NO--CARLITO. - QUACK. 210 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:03,918 - CARLITO, IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF LOCO, OKAY? 211 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:04,961 THAT'S MORE LIKE, YOU KNOW, ZAINY. 212 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,296 OR--OR GOOFY. 213 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,298 - YEAH. - IT'S THE WRONG KIND OF LOCO. 214 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,925 - YOU WANT TO SEE LOCO? 215 00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:14,178 - CARLITO. YOU'RE NOT CRAZY. 216 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,472 YOU'RE LIKE, UH, THE QUIET ONE. 217 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:17,807 - I'M NOT QUIET. 218 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,976 I NEVER BE CAUGHT BEING QUIET. 219 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:23,646 IN FACT, I'M ALWAYS LOUD. CHECK IT. 220 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,649 AHH. 221 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:27,149 - OKAY. OKAY. 222 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,193 THAT WAS WEIRD. 223 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,570 THAT WAS--WERE YOU YELLING? 224 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,823 - I'LL SHOW YOU LOCO RIGHT HERE. 225 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,408 RIGHT NOW IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, YO. 226 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:37,159 - CARLITO, NO. - OH, MY GOD. 227 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,912 - CARLITO, PULL UP YOUR PANTS, HOMES. 228 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,998 - I GOT TILIKUM ON MY UNDERWEAR. 229 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:42,832 THAT'S THE BLACK FISH. 230 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,167 I'M NAKED, AND I DON'T EVEN CARE. 231 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,003 - CARLITO, YOU GOTTA PULL 'EM UP, OKAY? 232 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,337 THERE'S, LIKE, CHILDREN IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, OKAY? 233 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,881 - OKAY. BUT CHECK THIS OUT. 234 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:54,760 I GOT NINE PUNCH CARDS FROM FROYO UNIVERSE, 235 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,762 EACH WITH A ONE STAMP IN IT. 236 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,974 EVERY TIME I GET A FROYO, I GET A NEW CARD. 237 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,685 - CARLITO, THAT'S JUST BEING CAVALIER WITH YOUR FINANCES 238 00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,937 INSTEAD OF COLLECTING YOUR FREE DESSERT. 239 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,188 I MEAN, THAT'S NOT LOCO. 240 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,941 THAT'S JUST, LIKE, FINANCIALLY IRRESPONSIBLE. 241 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:12,445 - I MIGHT NOT BE LOCO, BUT YOU KNOW WHO IS LOCO? 242 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:16,365 MY FRIEND MR. BASURA-HEAD. 243 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,450 - HE'S DUMPING THE GARBAGE. 244 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:22,413 - HI, I'M THE MOST LOCO PERSON IN HERE. 245 00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:24,206 - CARLITO. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 246 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,333 - QUE? 247 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,710 - CARLITO. 248 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:28,753 OKAY. 249 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:31,589 CARLITO...YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS, OKAY? 250 00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:34,216 IT'S NOT NECESSARY. YOU'RE NOT THE LOCO ONE. 251 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,302 - CHECK THIS OUT. 252 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:40,639 DER. I FEEL--YEAH, I'M CRAZY. 253 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,768 I'M THE LOCO ONE. 254 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,478 - CARLITO, PLEASE DON'T DO IT AGAIN. 255 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:46,437 - OHH! 256 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,813 - CARLITO, STOP. 257 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,231 - I'M IN TOO DEEP. 258 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,275 - THIS IS LIKE WATCHING THE BRITISH VERSION OF THE OFFICE. 259 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:54,195 LIKE, IT'S FUNNY, BUT AWKWARD AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME. 260 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,613 - YES. 261 00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:56,906 - OH! 262 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,075 - WELL, I THINK I JUST PROVED THIS BOTTLE IS UNBREAKABLE. 263 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,243 [glass shattering] 264 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,954 - CARLITO. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. 265 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:04,914 - LOOK AT THIS. 266 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,624 - NO. NO, NO, NO, CARLITO. 267 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,000 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT? 268 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:08,459 - I DON'T KNOW. 269 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,586 I'M TOO CRAZY. 270 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:13,089 OH! 271 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,757 - CARLITO, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, MAN? 272 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,927 THAT WAS LOCO, BUT NOT IN A ENTERTAINING WAY. 273 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,472 - OKAY. 274 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:22,681 - OKAY. 275 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,141 - CARLITO, PUT DOWN THE GUN, HOMES. 276 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,435 - OH, DON'T YOU FEAR. 277 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,603 - PUT THE GUN DOWN. - PUT THE GUN DOWN. 278 00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:29,480 - THE CRAZY, CRAZY ONE IS HERE. 279 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:30,773 - CARLIT--STOP! - PUT IT DOWN. 280 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,775 - OH, MY STAPLE HAND. 281 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,860 - PUT THE GUN DOWN. - DON'T DO THAT. 282 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,695 - I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. - CARLITO, STOP TWIRLING IT. 283 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,949 - LOCO, LOCO, LOCO. WHERE SHE STOPS? 284 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:44,954 NOBODY KNOW--CO-OH. 285 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,122 - [bleep]! 286 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:51,877 CARLITO, YOU JUST SHOT EDUARDO IN THE HEAD! 287 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:55,131 - NOW I'M THE MOST LOCO IN THE GANG? 288 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,217 - YES, CARLITO, BY PROCESS OF ELIMINATION, 289 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:01,011 YOU'RE THE MOST LOCO PERSON IN THE GANG. 290 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,139 - YES. 291 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,474 - all: OH! 292 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,976 - LOCO! 293 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,770 - HE CAUGHT THE BULLET. ORALE! 294 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,147 HE CAUGHT THE BULLET IN HIS TEETH! 295 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,523 - LOCO! 296 00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:13,524 - THAT'S THE MOST LOCO-EST THING I EVER SEEN! 297 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:14,608 - all: NO, NO! [gun shot] 298 00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:21,323 - DID YOU--WERE YOU EVER--IN--IN ALL HONESTY, 299 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,534 WERE YOU EVER GOING TO JOIN THE MILITARY? 300 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,828 - I--YOU KNOW, I--I THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR ONE MINUTE. 301 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,913 I REALLY DID BE--'CAUSE MY MOM WAS--WE--WE--NO 302 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,583 I WENT TO GO SEE AN ARMY RECRUITER, JUST--JUST TO HEAR. 303 00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:31,125 MY MOM WAS JUST LIKE, "MAYBE YOU JUST WANT TO HEAR WHAT-- 304 00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,168 WHAT CAN HAPPEN." 305 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,128 - YOUR MOM? 306 00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:35,504 - I WASN'T GONNA DO IT. 307 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,506 I MEAN, I WANTED TO DO IT, BUT I WASN'T GONNA DO IT. 308 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,425 I MIGHT HAVE, BUT MY MOM KNEW ME. 309 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,135 I MEAN, SHE KNEW ME WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW I WASN'T GONNA DO THAT. 310 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,303 - SO WHAT WAS THE RECRUITER LIKE? 311 00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,763 - THE--THE MARINE RECRUITER WAS ON POINT. 312 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,599 MY MAN WAS LIKE, "HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, YOUNG MAN? 313 00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,184 GOOD TO SEE YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU, MAN. 314 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:48,851 HOW ARE YOU? WHAT'S THE NAME? 315 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,853 I'M--I'M MATT. I'M MATT. 316 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,521 AND I WAS LIKE, "NICE TO MEET YOU, MATT." 317 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,772 AND HE'S LIKE, "TELL YOU WHAT, MAN, LOT OF JOB OPPORTUNITIES 318 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,775 "OUT THERE FOR YOU IF YOU JOIN THE MARINE CORPS. 319 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,027 YOU KNOW, YOU GET OUT, YOU HAVE A JOB." 320 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:58,527 - THAT'S MY DUDE. - "SCHOOL GET PAID FOR." 321 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,237 - THAT'S MY DUDE. 322 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:00,863 - "IT'S A HELL OF A DEAL, MY FRIEND. 323 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:02,698 IT'S A HELL OF A DEAL." 324 00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:04,617 - THAT GUY WHO--THE GUY THAT I KNOW THAT'S LIKE THAT IS 325 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,494 A LAS VEGAS PARTY PROMOTER. 326 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,787 YOU GO--ONE OF TWO WAYS. 327 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,915 EITHER THE PARTY-PROMOTER STYLE, OR-- 328 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,458 - OR MARINE RECRUITER. - MARINE RECRUITER. 329 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,877 - I MEAN, MY MAN'S READST TO GO. 330 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,676 - IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, KEITH. 331 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,095 - YEAH, WE USUALLY HAVE TO WAIT FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION. 332 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,597 - WELL, ACTUALLY, I HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE. 333 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,516 I...GOT ENGAGED. 334 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:29,475 - OH! 335 00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:32,228 - OH! OH! 336 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,146 OH, HONEY. 337 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,900 - THAT'S MY SON. 338 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,237 - WOW HOO! 339 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,572 - YES! 340 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,448 WOW. 341 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:48,536 CONGRATULATIONS, LITTLE BRO. 342 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,246 ENGAGED. 343 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,414 KIND OF A BIG DEAL. 344 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,874 MORE FOR ME, I GUESS. 345 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,376 THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANS. 346 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:58,045 - YES, WELL. 347 00:13:58,128 --> 00:13:58,462 SHE GOT A NAME? 348 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,256 - STEPHANIE. 349 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,259 - MARRIAGE IS A WONDERFUL JOURNEY. 350 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,844 - 50% END IN DIVORCE. 351 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,889 SORRY, BRO. THEM'S JUST THE FACTS. 352 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:13,519 - I WILL--I WILL KEEP THAT IN MIND, THANK YOU. 353 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,271 - YOU GOT A PHOTO? - OH, YEAH. 354 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,565 - AKA DOES SHE EXIST? 355 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,149 - THERE YOU GO. - [whistles] 356 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:24,947 MM. 357 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,616 - OH, SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. 358 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,203 - DON'T-- - LET ME GET EYES ON THIS. 359 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:36,542 EVERYBODY ELSE ALREADY HA-- 360 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,335 GREAT LIGHTING. 361 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,129 AIRBRUSHED? 362 00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,422 - UH, NO. 363 00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:42,840 - SHE KIND OF LOOKS LIKE THAT ONE MODEL 364 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:43,507 ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT. 365 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:47,553 - UH, YES. THAT'S HER. 366 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:48,345 - THE PRICE IS RIGHT? 367 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,389 CLIVE, THAT'S YOUR SHOW. 368 00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:52,558 - SHUT UP, MA! 369 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:55,686 NO, IT'S NOT. 370 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:58,188 OH, YEAH. STEPHANIE. 371 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,608 - MM-HMM. 372 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,818 - PEOPLE ALWAYS UNDERBID ON HER SHOWCASES. 373 00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:05,863 NOT THE BEST PRESENTER. 374 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:09,700 - WHERE'S THE WEDDING? - OH, IN HAWAII. 375 00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:10,409 - OH. OH. 376 00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:14,246 - OH. OH! 377 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,539 AWESOME. 378 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,498 WHOO-HOO! 379 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,877 MELE KALIKIMAKA! 380 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,714 SHE EVER BEEN MARRIED BEFORE? 381 00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:26,175 - UH, NO. - SO SHE SAYS. 382 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,510 EX-BOYFRIEND, SHE GOT ONE? - OF COURSE. 383 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,013 - SLOPPY SECONDS, AT LEAST. 384 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,850 RIGHT, DAD? 385 00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,227 - KEITH, SHE SOUNDS WONDERFUL. - THANK YOU. 386 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,228 THANK YOU, MOM. 387 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,439 - SHUT UP, MOM! 388 00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:41,649 SILENCE FROM YOU! 389 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:48,030 YOU'RE CUT OFF FROM TALKING! 390 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:49,782 - YOU KNOW WHAT, CLIVE? 391 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:53,077 I REALLY DON'T APPRECIATE THE WAY THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO MOM. 392 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:57,665 - [sarcastic laughter] 393 00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,667 YES! YES! 394 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:03,879 THE PRODIGAL SON HATH RETURNED! 395 00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:04,922 YOU KNOW WHAT? 396 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,715 YOU WANT TO GO? LET'S GO. 397 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,343 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN HERE THE LAST 15 YEARS, 398 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,886 TAKING CARE OF MOM AND DAD 399 00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:14,014 WHILE YOU'VE BEEN TROMPSING ALL OVER THE WORLD, AND WHY? 400 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,307 SO YOU COULD COME BACK HERE 401 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,810 AND CRITICIZE ME FOR HOW I TREAT THEM? 402 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,103 - NO. 403 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:23,232 I ACTUALLY CAME HERE TO ASK YOU IF YOU WOULD DO ME THE HONOR 404 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:24,900 OF BEING MY BEST MAN. 405 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:35,160 I KNOW THAT WE'VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES. 406 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:40,207 BUT YOU'RE MY OLDER BROTHER. 407 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:42,000 WE--WE'LL PAY FOR YOUR ROOM. 408 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,669 AND--AND WE'RE ALSO GONNA RENT YOU A CAR. 409 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:44,878 - [suppressed sob] 410 00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,005 - AND--AND WE'LL PAY TO FLY YOU OUT THERE. 411 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,595 - FIRST CLASS? 412 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,097 - WELL, WE CAN'T AFFORD FIRST CLASS. 413 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,515 - WELL, [bleep] YOU! 414 00:16:56,598 --> 00:17:00,144 YOU'RE DEAD TO ME! 415 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,937 - CLIVE! - SHUT UP, MOM! 416 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,981 I'M EATING IN MY ROOM! 417 00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:13,949 - WELL, THAT--THAT WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED. 418 00:17:14,031 --> 00:17:15,032 - I THINK SO. - YEAH. 419 00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:27,796 [indistinct conversation on screen] 420 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,131 - I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM. 421 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:29,590 - OKAY. 422 00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,383 - 'SCUSE ME. 423 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,677 'SCUSE ME. 424 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,554 - CAN YOU QUIET DOWN? - 'SCUSE ME. 425 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,264 - MEEGAN, YOU'RE BEING LOUD. - 'SCUSE ME. 426 00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,184 - SHH. - AND...'SCUSE ME. 427 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,782 - MEEGAN. 428 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,910 MEEGAN? MEEGAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 429 00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:58,577 - ANDRE? - MEEGAN. 430 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,121 - ANDRE, WHERE ARE YOU? 431 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,831 - SHH. - YOU SHH. 432 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,167 I'M LOOKING FOR MY BOYFRIEND. - JUST GO. 433 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,794 - OKAY, I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW, DUDE. 434 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,295 MEEGAN. 435 00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:09,004 - ANDRE? - MEEGAN. 436 00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:11,507 - all: SHH! - QUIET DOWN. 437 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,635 - DON'T SHH ME. - I'M SHUSHING YOU. 438 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:15,344 - ANDRE? 439 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:18,263 - MEEGAN. 440 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,306 - ANDRE? 441 00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:20,307 - MEEGAN. - ANDRE? 442 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,558 - MEEGAN, COME HERE. 443 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,018 - ANDRE? - MEEGAN. 444 00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:24,478 - ANDRE? - MEEGAN. 445 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:25,020 - ANDRE? - MEEGAN. 446 00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:26,688 - ANDRE? - MEEGAN. 447 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,273 - ANDRE? - OH, MY GOD. 448 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:33,779 WHY WOULD YOU GO BACK TO WHERE YOU WERE BEFORE? 449 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:36,698 - SIRI, CALL ANDRE. 450 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,367 - DON'T CALL ME. 451 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,494 DON'T DO THAT. MEEGAN. 452 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:42,871 [cell phone rings] 453 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,582 I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. 454 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:46,959 MEEGAN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 455 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,961 WHAT THE [bleep] ARE YOU DOING? - ANDRE, WHERE ARE YOU? 456 00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,338 - I'M BEHIND YOU. - WILL YOU FACETIME ME? 457 00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:53,757 - I'M NOT GONNA DO IT RIGHT NOW. YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SEE ME. 458 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:55,676 IT'S [bleep] DARK IN HERE. - I KNOW. 459 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:56,593 THAT'S WHY I CAN'T FIND YOU. 460 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,887 - I'M DIRECTLY BEHIND YOU. TURN AROUND. 461 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,223 - OKAY, I'M GONNA TURN AROUND. 462 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,058 - YOU DIDN'T NEED TO ANNOUNCE IT, JUST DO IT. 463 00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:04,643 YOU D--I'M RIGHT THERE. [bleep]. 464 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:06,603 [bleep]. [bleep]. 465 00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,522 - STOP YELLING AT ME! 466 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,732 - MEEGAN, HAVE YOU SUSTAINED A HEAD INJURY 467 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:11,859 OR HAD A STROKE IN THE LAST TEN MINUTES? 468 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,569 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 469 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,571 - MEEGAN. 470 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,574 - DUDE, PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY. - YUP. YUP. 471 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,826 - OMG, DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON ME? 472 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:21,577 - YES. 473 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:22,786 - I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU, SIR. 474 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:23,662 I'M TALKING TO MY BOYFRIEND. 475 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:27,040 - IT'S ME, MEEGAN. 476 00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,917 - ANDRE! - YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. 477 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:29,918 - NO, YOU GET OUT OF HERE. I CAN GO WHEREVER I WANT. 478 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,587 I'M LOOKING FOR MY BOYFRIEND. 479 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:35,591 ANDRE? ANDRE? 480 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,759 SHUT--GET OFF ME, MR. DIRECTOR. 481 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:38,719 - HE'S NOT THE DIRECTOR. 482 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:39,803 - CAN YOU SHINE THIS LIGHT ON THE AUDIENCE? 483 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,055 I WANT TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND. 484 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,473 LET ME SEE SOMETHING. 485 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,559 AH! THE LIGHT'S IN MY EYES. 486 00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:46,810 - MEEGAN, GET OUT OF THE PROJECTION BOOTH! 487 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:51,440 - SHH. - DON'T SHUSH ME. 488 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:54,735 'SCUSE ME. 489 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,862 'SCUSE ME. 490 00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,280 'SCUSE ME. 491 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,617 AND... 492 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:05,454 'SCUSE ME. 493 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,330 I COULDN'T FIND THE BATHROOM. 494 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:14,046 - MM-HMM, MM-HMM. 495 00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:17,382 - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, MAN. - HMM? 496 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:17,799 - AND I'M NOT EVEN PRETENDING. 497 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,676 I'M A WUSS. 498 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,094 - MM-HMM, YEAH, I KNOW. 499 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,721 - SOMETIMES I'LL BE COMING IN THE HOUSE TALKING ABOUT, 500 00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:24,056 "CAN WE JUST TURN THE AIR ON?" 501 00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:25,182 MY WIFE'S LIKE, "OH, YOU WANT TO TURN THE AIR ON?" 502 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,434 I'M LIKE, "YEAH, I'M DYING UP IN THIS BITCH." 503 00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:28,560 - ME, TOO. 504 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,729 AND MY GIRL'LL BE TALKING ABOUT, "REALLY? 505 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,522 I'M COLD." 506 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,441 YOU COLD? 507 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:35,651 - SHE'S GOT THE CARDIGAN ON. 508 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:36,777 YOU'RE GOING, "WHAT IS GOING ON?" 509 00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,070 - I'M LIKE, WHAT IS GOING ON? 510 00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,821 - TO ME, I'M SORRY, IF I LOOK AT A THERMOSTAT, 511 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,032 IT'S ON 74, THAT'S HOT. 512 00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,617 - EXACTLY. - 74 IS HOT. 513 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,827 - I'M LIKE, "LET ME TURN THE THERMOSTAT DOWN 514 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,829 "AND COME SNUGGLE, 'CAUSE I RUN WARM. 515 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:48,747 I'LL FURNACE YOUR ASS OUT RIGHT NOW." 516 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:51,458 - FURNACE YOUR ASS OUT. 517 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,502 - I'M HEATING FOR TWO IN THIS BITCH. 518 00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:55,170 WHY YOU GOT TO BE ACROSS THE ROOM FREEZING? 519 00:20:55,253 --> 00:20:55,963 - HE SAID HEATING FOR TWO. 520 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,840 - I'M GONNA DO MY ONE LINE HERE. 521 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,592 - OH, YEAH. 522 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,430 - OH, CARLITO. STOP, MAN. 523 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:08,266 CARLITO, COME--STOP. 524 00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,518 - FERN. 525 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,186 - OKAY, WHY WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN? 526 00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:12,396 WHY WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN? 527 00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:13,689 CARLITO. 528 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,441 - IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IT'S MORE LOCO 529 00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,442 THAT IT DIDN'T BREAK. 36938

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