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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,713 - GENTLEMEN, IT HAS BEEN A PLEASURE 2 00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:07,298 AND AN HONOR TO MEET YOU AND YOUR--YOUR PEOPLE. 3 00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:11,594 THE U.S. GOVERNMENT SUPPORTS YOU IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY. 4 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,263 IDEOLOGICALLY, OF COURSE. 5 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:17,267 HOWEVER, WE CANNOT OFFER ANY MILITARY AID AT THIS TIME. 6 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,310 - WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, AMBASSADOR, 7 00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:20,937 WE NEED MORE THAN THAT. 8 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,314 - WE ARE DEALING WITH TERRORISM ON A DAILY BASIS. 9 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:24,733 - OH, THAT'S SO UNFORTUNATE. 10 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,735 - WARLORDS OVERRUN VILLAGES. 11 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,945 - YES, THAT'S REGRETTABLE. 12 00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:31,906 - RAPES, TORTURES, ALL MANNER OF HUMAN ATROCITY. 13 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,326 - THAT'S REALLY SAD, BUT THE U.S. MILITARY 14 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,953 IS SIMPLY SPREAD TOO THIN. 15 00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:40,915 WE CAN'T AFFORD ANOTHER INTERVENTION AT THIS TIME. 16 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,668 - BUT WHAT WE COULD USE YOUR HELP WITH REALLY 17 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,795 IS PROTECTING OUR VULNERABLE, PLENTIFUL, 18 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,923 AND NEWLY-DISCOVERED OIL RESERVES. 19 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:52,427 - OIL? EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND. 20 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:54,846 OPERATION GOLDEN EAGLE IS A GO. 21 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,896 WELCOME TO DEMOCRACY. 22 00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:11,154 - UH, WE ALSO HAVE NATURAL GASSES! 23 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,990 - OH, YES, A LOT. LOTS OF IT. 24 00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:17,076 [haunting Western music] 25 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:24,083 ♪ ♪ 26 00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:40,225 - [groaning loudly] 27 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:43,770 - HOW'S YOUR BACK DOING? YOUR BACK OKAY? 28 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,231 YOU NEED TO GET AN ADJUSTMENT FROM THE CHIROPRACTICALS? 29 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:49,651 - OH, CAN YOU DO--CAN YOU DO CHIRO--CAN YOU DO CHIROPRACTOR? 30 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,904 - JUST GET THIS. GET THIS. 31 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:55,740 - JUST RELAX IT? - YEAH, RELAX IT. 32 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,158 GIVE IT TO ME AND LET ME DO THE WORK. 33 00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:59,994 - IT'S NICE TO BE ABLE TO JUST RELAX MY ARM, 34 00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,039 BUT I DON'T KNOW THAT I FEEL THE--WHOA, WHOA, 35 00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:03,873 WHOA, WHOA, WHAT? - WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT? 36 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,125 I WASN'T DOING--WHAT, WHAT? 37 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,293 - YOU MADE ME TOUCH YOUR DICK. - NO, I DIDN'T. 38 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,420 - IT SCUFFED YOUR CROTCH, MAN. - YOU DIDN'T COME IN-- 39 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:11,381 YOUR FINGERS DID NOT TOUCH MY CROTCH. 40 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,716 - NO, IT TOUCHED SOMETHING DOWN THERE, MAN. 41 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,844 - YOU DIDN'T GET ANYWHERE NEAR MY CROTCH. 42 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,053 - WE HAVE TO AGREE IT WAS A OUIJA BOARD SITUATION. 43 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,222 IT WAS A OUIJA BOARD SITUATION. - IT WAS--NO, 44 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:22,141 NO, IT WAS A "JORDAN BOARD" SITUATION. 45 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:25,395 - I WAKE UP NEXT TO THIS GUY, 46 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:29,399 AND AS USUAL I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME. 47 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:32,694 I'M TRYING TO GET DRESSED QUICKLY AND GET OUT OF THERE 48 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:33,403 BEFORE HE WAKES UP, 49 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:39,075 BUT I CAN'T FIND MY UNDERWEAR. 50 00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:43,954 I LOOK EVERYWHERE, BUT I JUST CAN'T FIND THEM, 51 00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,415 AND THEN IT HITS ME. 52 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:51,087 I HAD LEFT THEM AT ANOTHER GUY'S APARTMENT EARLIER THAT NIGHT, 53 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:54,215 AND THAT'S WHEN I KNEW I HAD A PROBLEM. 54 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:02,432 - THANKS FOR SHARING, SCOTTY. 55 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,603 WELL, I NOTICE A LOT OF NEW FACES THIS EVENING, 56 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,438 AND I'M SO GLAD YOU ALL CAME, 57 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:13,151 AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS IS A SAFE PLACE TO SHARE. 58 00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,653 SO IF YOU WANT TO TELL US YOUR STORY, 59 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:19,365 THERE'LL BE NO JUDGMENT. 60 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:23,119 - SURE, I'LL GO. 61 00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:24,537 HI, Y'ALL. 62 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,456 NAME'S WENDELL, 63 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:32,253 AND I AM IN FACT A SEXUAL ADDICT. 64 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,047 all: HI, WENDELL. 65 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,883 - AND WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE, WENDELL? 66 00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:40,345 - WELL, YOU KNOW, MY LIFE, 67 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:44,057 SEXUALLY SPEAKING, IS CRAZY, 68 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,767 AND I JUST WANT TO FIND 69 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:50,980 ONE SINGLE SOLITARY PERSON 70 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,607 TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH. 71 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:55,526 JUST ONE, JUST ONE. 72 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,987 - SO DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR ADDICTION IS 73 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,697 TOO MUCH TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW? 74 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,199 - DUH. 75 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,494 I MEAN, IT'S BEEN CRAZY, Y'ALL. 76 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:08,081 WITH ME, THE NASTIER THE BETTER. 77 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:08,998 I'M A DIRTY DOG. 78 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:13,836 TRY EVERYTHING, ALL THE FIXINGS. 79 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,589 TANTRIC, MUCH LIKE STING. 80 00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:18,298 ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES. 81 00:04:18,382 --> 00:04:22,762 YOU NAME IT, I'VE DONST IT. 82 00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:26,265 - AND WHEN WOULD YOU SAY YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM, WENDELL? 83 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,559 - WHEN IT GOT SLIPPERY OUTSIDE MY SHOWER, 84 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,853 ON THE FLOOR OUTSIDE MY SHOWER. 85 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,106 OH. 86 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:37,402 I HIT ROCK BOTTOM SEXUALLY-- 87 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,529 OH, IT WAS PROBABLY LAST NIGHT, LAST NIGHT. 88 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:43,199 - DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD TELL US WHAT HAPPENED, WENDELL? 89 00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:45,534 - YEAH, LET'S SEE. 90 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,578 IT WAS JUST LIKE ANY OTHER NIGHT. 91 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,455 I HAD ORDERED A LARGE PIE, 92 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,457 PEPPERONI, PINEAPPLE, CHEESY CRUST, 93 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:56,879 SOME CHEESY BREAD ON THE SIDE. 94 00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:01,009 CUT TO 30 "MIN" LATER, 95 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:06,806 PIZZA PARLOR SENT OVER A DELICIOUS LADY DELIVERY PERSON. 96 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:09,851 BODY TEN, FACE TEN. 97 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:13,146 THAT'S MY WEAKNESS. 98 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:16,899 SO I INVITED HER INSIDE, OPENED UP THE BOX. 99 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,444 IT WAS HOT. 100 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:24,699 DEVOURED THE FIRST SLICE LICKETY-SPLIT, CRUST FIRST. 101 00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,577 SECOND SLICE DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE. 102 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,287 ATE THE TIP OF THAT BITCH FIRST, 103 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,081 WASHED IT DOWN WITH A POP. 104 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,209 THEN I GOT NASTY WITH THE CHEESY BREAD. 105 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:39,088 MY HEART STARTED POUNDING HARDER THAN USUAL, KER-SLUNK, 106 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,673 KER-SLUNK. 107 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,467 MOVED ON TO THE THIRD SLICE-- - WHAT-- 108 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:43,217 WHAT--WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL? 109 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,636 - WHAT GIRL? OH, THE GIRL. 110 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,556 YEAH, SHE WAS THERE TOO. 111 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:54,270 I INVITED HER INTO MY BOUDOIR, AKA "THE STABBIN' CABIN." 112 00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:55,772 WE DISROBED ONE ANOTHER. 113 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:56,939 I TOUCHED HER ON HER GENITALIA. 114 00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:03,613 SHE TOUCHED ME ON MY MAN-ITALIA, AND THAT'S WHEN I HIT IT. 115 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,449 SEXUALLY, OF COURSE, 116 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,785 UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS, ALL AROUND THE TOWN STAIRS, 117 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,496 AS YOU DO, 118 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:16,459 AND BY THEN IT WAS JUST ANOTHER NIGHT, 119 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:21,214 AND I MEAN OIL EVERYWHERE, AND... 120 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,800 SAUCE ALL OVER ME. 121 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,469 - S-SAUCE? 122 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:30,556 - OH, YEAH, THAT'S MY WORD FOR... 123 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,808 EJACULATE. 124 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:37,772 ANYHOO, I'M SO DISTRAUGHT BECAUSE I FEEL VULNERABLE, 125 00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:39,398 AND I DON'T KNOW. 126 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:43,778 I JUST FEEL LIKE ANYONE 127 00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,571 COULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME RIGHT NOW, 128 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,366 A-NY-ONE. 129 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:52,286 'KAY, LET'S SEE WHAT THE BLONDES HAVE TO SAY FIRST. 130 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,663 - WELL, THANK YOU, WENDELL. 131 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:57,082 THANK YOU FOR SHARING. IT'S ACTUALLY OUR TIME TODAY. 132 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,174 - HOW ABOUT THEM UNNY-FUNNY PEOPLE? 133 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,467 - [laughs] - WE HAVE THE-- 134 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:07,510 - WE TALK ABOUT FUNNY PEOPLE ALL THE-- 135 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,594 LET'S TALK ABOUT SOME UNFUNNY-- 136 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,680 - WE ARE BLESSED WITH THE POWER OF LAUGHTER. 137 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,057 - REMEMBER SAN FRANCISCO? THIS WOMAN WAS, LIKE-- 138 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:13,933 SHE'S WASTED, AND SHE'S LIKE, 139 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,768 "TELL ME A JOKE." SOME GUY WAS LIKE, 140 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:20,064 "I DON'T GOT A JOKE FOR YOU, BABY, THAT'S NOT MY THING." 141 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:21,190 - YEAH. - I DON'T KNOW, DUDE. 142 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,400 - WHAT THE [bleep] SHE DO FOR A LIVING? 143 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:23,192 - "ARE--ARE YOU AN ACCOUNTANT?" - "YOU AN ACCOUNTANT?" 144 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,027 - "RING SOME NUMBERS UP FOR ME." 145 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,613 - OH, [bleep]. 146 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:32,076 YOU SAID THAT TO THAT MYTHOLOGICAL WOMAN... 147 00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:33,369 - WITH ALL THE BRAVADO. - BUT IN REAL LIFE, THOUGH, 148 00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:36,414 I'D BE--I'D BE, LIKE, "UM, UM, 149 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,499 CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD." 150 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,296 - ALL RIGHT, MAN. GOOD TO SEE YOU. 151 00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,590 GOOD TO SEE YOU, OKAY. 152 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:49,886 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, JUST LET'S SETTLE DOWN AND SETTLE IN 153 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,054 AND, LIKE, TOTALLY LET'S GET OUR MATH ON, OKAY? 154 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:56,601 ALL RIGHT, GUYS, SO-- 155 00:07:56,683 --> 00:07:58,060 YEAH, OH! 156 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,563 ALL RIGHT, JIMMY, 157 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:04,483 SOMEONE'S GOT A LITTLE EXTRA ENERGY FROM PHYS ED, RIGHT? 158 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,071 JIMMY, BUDDY, HEY, BUDDY, LET'S--OKAY, LET'S-- 159 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,407 LET'S KNOCK IT OFF, OKAY? OKAY. 160 00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:13,451 - HE WANTED ME TO KNOCK IT OFF... 161 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:14,076 - YOU GOT ME. HE GOT ME, RIGHT, GUYS? 162 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,454 - SO I KNOCKED IT OFF. 163 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,247 - JIMMY, DUDE, ALL RIGHT, LET'S TAKE OUR SEAT. 164 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:22,251 - TAKE OUR SEAT. WELL, HEY, HEY. 165 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,129 - THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S GREAT. 166 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,048 THAT'S GREAT. - [robot noises] 167 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,257 - VERY GOOD. BRAVO, JIMMY. 168 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:33,261 YOU GUYS CAN CLAP. - YAY! 169 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,472 - THAT WAS AWESOME. OH, I THANK YOU. 170 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,183 I THANK YOU FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT, MAN. 171 00:08:37,265 --> 00:08:40,269 - [gibbering] 172 00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:42,647 JIMMY--LET'S GO, MAN. 173 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,316 HEY, BUDDY--I DON'T WANT TO HARSH YOUR VIBE, MAN, BUT-- 174 00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,276 - AH, EUREKA. 175 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,569 - I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU. 176 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,738 YOU'RE REALLY PUSHING MY BUTTONS NOW, JIMMY. 177 00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,281 - [beeping electronically] 178 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,492 YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, MAN. 179 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,244 - [zooming] 180 00:08:56,327 --> 00:09:00,289 [imitating a car] 181 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,332 - THAT'S ENOUGH. 182 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:05,044 YOU WANT ME TO WRITE YOUR NAME ON THE BOARD? 183 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,463 - [yells] 184 00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:09,298 HOME ALONE, HOME ALONE, HOME ALONE. 185 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,967 - OKAY, JIMMY, DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL PRINCIPAL MARTEL? 186 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,093 - [gasping] 187 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:15,221 - THAT'S ENOUGH, JIMMY. 188 00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,473 - [chattering] - OKAY. 189 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,642 YOU KNOW WHAT, JIMMY? YOU KNOW WHAT? 190 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,144 WHY DON'T YOU COME UP AND TEACH THE CLASS, MAN? 191 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,104 HMM? 192 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,106 WOULDN'T THAT BE AWESOME? 193 00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:27,066 - MOI? 194 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,282 - OKAY, GOOD. 195 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,075 NO, AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO, JIMMY? 196 00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:38,160 I'LL JUST SIT HERE. HOW 'BOUT THAT, JIMMY, 197 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,662 AND WE CAN ALL WATCH HOW YOU'RE BEING DISRUPTIVE-- 198 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,830 - [speaks nonsense] 199 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,958 - OH, I SEE. THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ME. 200 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,752 RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, JIMMY, OKAY, I SEE. 201 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,337 I GET IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ME. 202 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,840 IT'S TIME TO BE DONE, JIMMY. DON'T YOU DARE, JIMMY. 203 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,717 WHAT THE-- [scissors snip] 204 00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,057 OH, YEAH? 205 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,018 OH, YEAH? 206 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:05,146 OH, YEAH? 207 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:09,358 [unintelligible scream] 208 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,069 WELL, THIS IS YOU, JIMMY! 209 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:18,993 [screaming nonsense] 210 00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:22,830 I'M YOU, JIMMY! [screams nonsense] 211 00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:26,876 [growling and screaming] 212 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:27,501 HOW 'BOUT THAT, JIMMY, HUH? 213 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,627 "OH, I'M GONNA SLAP FIVE! 214 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:32,048 GIVE ME FIVE!" GIVE ME--GIVE ME FIVE! 215 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,841 HUH, HOW 'BOUT THAT, HUH? 216 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:34,258 THAT'S YOU, JIMMY! 217 00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:37,178 "I'M JIMMY. 218 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,388 "I'M JIMMY, AND I NEED ATTENTION! 219 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:43,601 "YEAH, I'M JIMMY! I'M JIMMY! 220 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,519 "OH, LOOKIE HERE. I'M A BABY BOY. 221 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,604 "THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING 222 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,857 "THAT EVER HAPPENED IN THE WHOLE WORLD! 223 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,692 "I'M JIMMY! I WANT ATTENTION! 224 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,903 "WIGGY, WIGGY, WIGGY, WIGGY, WIGGY, WIGGY! 225 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,071 I'M JIMMY! I'M JIMMY!" 226 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,906 [high-pitched gibberish] 227 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,574 - MR. FRIAR! 228 00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,576 - PRINCIPAL MARTEL! NO, WHAT? 229 00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,912 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, IT WAS JIMMY. 230 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,580 IT WAS JIMMY, PRINCIPAL MARTEL. 231 00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:05,164 NO, JIMMY-- 232 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:07,917 IT WAS JIMMY! 233 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,670 IT WAS JIMMY! 234 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,220 - WHOO! [all cheering] 235 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:22,807 - JIMMY! 236 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:26,769 all: JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, 237 00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:33,150 JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, 238 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:39,031 JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, [cheering] 239 00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:49,083 - CONTEXTUALIZE THE WHOLE THING. 240 00:11:49,165 --> 00:11:50,751 - THEY'RE A STEP AHEAD OF US EVERY SINGLE TIME. 241 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,670 - OH, ABSOLUTELY. - A STEP AHEAD EVERY-- 242 00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,260 - DICKNANIGANS. 243 00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:02,388 [somber ambient music] 244 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:10,396 ♪ ♪ 245 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,418 [honks car horn] [crash] 246 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:33,752 - NO. 247 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:42,136 both: MM-HMM, MM-HMM. 248 00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,345 - [whispering] DICKNANIGANS. 249 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,682 - IT'S AMAZING. 250 00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:50,311 [indistinct chatter] 251 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,420 - WORMS! 252 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:20,257 [somber ambient music] 253 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,842 ♪ ♪ 254 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,844 - DICKNANIGANS. 255 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:24,887 - IT'S A DIALOGUE WITHOUT DIALOGUE. 256 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:28,432 - ABSOLUTELY. I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE IN MY HEAD. 257 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:35,940 [Debussy's Clair de Lune playing] 258 00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:38,984 [gentle piano music] 259 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:46,742 ♪ ♪ 260 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,517 - [imitating a metal spring] 261 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,980 [gasping in appreciation] 262 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,985 - DICKNANIGANS. 263 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,362 - WOW. 264 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:26,782 - [whimpering] POOP. 265 00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,409 - DICKNANIGANS. 266 00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:30,536 - FRISBEES. 267 00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:32,329 - DICKNANIGANS. 268 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,498 - SO-- [guttural sounds] 269 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,625 - DICKNANIGANS. 270 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,670 - SOLANGE. 271 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,714 - DICKNANIGANS! 272 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,218 - OH. 273 00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:00,858 [audience cheering] 274 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,661 - GENTLEMEN, 275 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,705 "EXPLODED NUTS SYNDROME" IS A CONDITION 276 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:18,334 INDICATED BY THE PRESENCE OF EXPLODED NUTS, 277 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,836 WHICH YOURS ARE. 278 00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:24,173 BY THE WAY, I SAW YOUR SHOW LAST NIGHT. 279 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,924 AMAZING. 280 00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:38,562 - WHAT IF WE DID A SCENE WHERE WE'RE STANDING THERE 281 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,982 AND OUR DICKS ARE OUT. 282 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,317 WE DON'T BLUR IT, NOTHING. 283 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:49,031 JUST--SHOW OPEN, OUR [bleep] NEXT TO EACH OTHER. 284 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,408 - WHAT IS THE STORY THAT THE DICKS ARE TELLING? 285 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,910 - WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE--OKAY, NOW WE'RE TALKING. 286 00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:54,119 NOW WE'RE BRAINSTORMING. 287 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,872 SO I'M THINKING IT'S THAT-- 288 00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:57,414 THEY'RE NEIGHBORS. - OKAY. 289 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,375 - OKAY. - YES. 290 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,795 - SO THEY COME OUT OF THEIR HOUSES... 291 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,129 - OKAY, MM-HMM. - IN THE-- 292 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,006 IN THE BEGINNING OF THE DAY... - RIGHT, RIGHT. 293 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,049 - AND, YOU KNOW, MY DICK WOULD BE LIKE 294 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,051 "HEY, JOHNSON." YOU KNOW, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 295 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:12,763 - RIGHT, AND MINE--MINE WOULD BE NAMED--"HI, I'M WILLY." 296 00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:14,765 - RIGHT, RIGHT-- SO ALREADY WE'RE GOLD. 297 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,684 THE JOKES WILL WRITE THEMSELVES, MAN. 298 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,269 HOW MANY DICK PUNS ARE THERE? 299 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,105 - A MYRIAD AMOUNT OF DICK PUNS. 300 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,356 - OKAY, "LET'S GO OUT AND PLAY BALL." 301 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,441 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? - OKAY, RIGHT, I GOT YOU. 302 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,151 I HEAR YOU. - "I'M GONNA GO IN FOR A SECOND 303 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:30,239 AND EAT MY BREAKFAST, SOME SCROTE-MEAL." 304 00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,407 - GOD, "SCROTE-MEAL" ALONE IS ALMOST WORTH IT. 305 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,325 - ABSOLUTELY. 306 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,285 WE OPEN WITH "SCROTE-MEAL." 307 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,251 - DON'T TOUCH THAT WOMAN, OKAY? 308 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,421 - PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON ME. DON'T YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME! 309 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,922 - DON'T YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON HER. 310 00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:47,923 THAT'S MY WOMAN! - YES! 311 00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:50,092 [jazz music] [audience applause] 312 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,260 - AND NOW... 313 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:56,724 FOR THE SCAT STYLINGS OF REX "THE BONE DADDY" RONSON 314 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,934 AND TEDDY "12 COMBS" LEWIS. 315 00:17:04,272 --> 00:17:08,109 both: ♪ ZOO DO DWEEP BODO DWAPE, ZOODO DWEEP ♪ 316 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:13,198 ♪ ZODO BA DATIN WOP WOP WA WOP WOW ♪ 317 00:17:13,281 --> 00:17:18,037 - ♪ BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT ♪ 318 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:18,954 ♪ HOPPY GEEBO DERPA DAY ♪ 319 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,457 ♪ YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE A BUTT ♪ 320 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,208 ♪ YOUR BOP BOP, BOOTY BOP ♪ 321 00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:27,628 ♪ YOUR WHOLE MOUTH SMELLS LIKE AN OPEN ASS ♪ 322 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:32,050 ♪ BUTT, POOP, POO ♪ 323 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:36,013 - ♪ WAY WE VWEE VWAY, FAT, FAT, WAT DWAY ♪ 324 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,849 ♪ FATTY USED TO CHEWBY DOO YOU'RE FAT ♪ 325 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:41,560 ♪ YOU'RE A FAT, FAT ♪ FAT, FAY, FAY, BA BOO FATTY ♪ 326 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,020 ♪ FAH BOO BAH, FE, FI, FO FUM ♪ 327 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:47,316 ♪ WHAT DO I SMELL BUT SOME FAT NEXT TO ME ♪ 328 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,650 ♪ THAT'S THE MAN, FATTY MM ♪ 329 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:54,114 ♪ POTTY FOO FAY FE, FO, FAT ♪ 330 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,158 - ♪ HIDDLE BIT LITTLE BIT DIBBIDY DOBBIDY DOO LA LA DA ♪ 331 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:59,995 ♪ TEENILY WEENILY HODDILY HIDDILY LITTLA BITTLA ♪ 332 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:01,371 ♪ BABY PENIS ♪ 333 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:05,876 ♪ ♪ 334 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:09,087 - ♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT ♪ 335 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,381 ♪ SUCK IT AND SUCK IT AND SUCK IT ♪ 336 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,091 ♪ AND SUCK IT AND SUCK IT AND SUCK IT ♪ 337 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,384 ♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT ♪ 338 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,929 ♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT ♪ 339 00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:17,930 ♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT YOU CAN SUCK IT ♪ 340 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:21,975 ♪ AND PUT IT IN IN YOUR MOUTH ♪ 341 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:25,187 - ♪ STOP, MOP ♪ 342 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,731 ♪ YOUR FACE, YOUR FACE, YOUR FACE ♪ 343 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,858 ♪ LOOKS LIKE A BALL SACK ♪ 344 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,820 ♪ NO WRINKLE DINKLE DOOS STICKY DOOP ♪ 345 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:36,532 ♪ BA DEE DO, WRINKLE DINKLE DEE DEE BALL SACK ♪ 346 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,451 - [scatting] 347 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:42,621 ♪ TELLENUM, TELLENUM, TEN OH, TEN, YOU A TAINT, YOU A TAINT ♪ 348 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:43,622 ♪ YOU'RE A TAINT YOU'RE A TAINT ♪ 349 00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,958 ♪ THE SPACE BETWEEN THE BUTT AND BALLS ♪ 350 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:49,378 ♪ TAINT FACE, YOU TAINTY TAINT YOUR FACE IS A TAINT, TAINT ♪ 351 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:54,216 ♪ TAINT, TAINT ♪ - ♪ TAKE IT BACK ♪ 352 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,176 - ♪ NO, I WON'T ♪ - ♪ TAKE IT BACK ♪ 353 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,303 - ♪ I NEVER WILL ♪ - ♪ TAKE IT BACK ♪ 354 00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,221 - ♪ NO, I WON'T, NEVER WILL ♪ - ♪ TAKE IT BACK, TAKE IT BACK ♪ 355 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,390 - ♪ TAKE IT BACK ♪ - ♪ NO, I WON'T ♪ 356 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,766 both: ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE A SON OF A, SON OF A ♪ 357 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,601 ♪ SON OF A, SON OF A BITCH, BITCH, BITCH ♪ 358 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:10,232 ♪ SON OF A, SON OF A, SON OF A, SON OF A BITCH, BITCH, BITCH ♪ 359 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:13,944 [cheers and applause] 360 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,872 - ♪ YOU DON'T NEED TO FIGHT OVER ME ♪ 361 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:28,792 ♪ THERE'S PLENTY OF THE VA-GA- ♪ 362 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:34,256 [scatting] ♪ GINA ♪ 363 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,050 ♪ VAGINA ♪ 364 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:41,972 ♪ THERE'S PLENTY OF, OF, OF ♪ 365 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:43,307 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT? 366 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,600 [laughs] 367 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,477 Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 368 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,160 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT R&B IS? 369 00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:04,453 DO YOU KNOW SOME REAL GOOD MODERN... 370 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:07,247 - OH, R&B'S BEEN AROUND LONGER THAN ROCK AND ROLL. 371 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:08,332 - THAT MODERN [bleep]. I'M TALKING-- 372 00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:09,958 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT OLD SCHOOL R&B. 373 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,629 I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT ♪ COME WITH ME, GIRL ♪ 374 00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:17,007 ♪ I'M GONNA HIT IT FROM THE BACK ♪ 375 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:18,133 THAT'S WHAT THEY TALKING ABOUT NOWADAYS IN R&B. 376 00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:20,385 - THAT'S WHAT THEY TALKING ABOUT? 377 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:21,386 - I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT LIKE 378 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,013 ♪ I WANT TO COURT YOU ♪ 379 00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:24,389 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT STUFF. 380 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:25,807 - YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT GETTING RIGHT INTO 381 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:26,558 THE "WHERE DO I PUT THIS THING INSIDE OF YOUR BODY?" 382 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,727 - YES. 383 00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:29,978 - I DON'T LISTEN TO THAT KIND OF MUSIC. 384 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,189 - IT'S--IT'S--R&B THESE DAYS 385 00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:35,817 IS LIKE A LITERAL DESCRIPTION OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. 386 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:36,735 IT'S LIKE... 387 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:40,948 ♪ MY PENIS WILL GO IN YOUR VAGINA ♪ 388 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,034 - NO, IT'S NOT. NO, IT--REALLY? 389 00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:46,203 - ♪ SEMEN WILL COME OUT ♪ 390 00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:51,083 ♪ NINE MONTHS LATER WE MIGHT HAVE A BABY ♪ 391 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:55,253 - REALLY? THAT'S HOW FAR IT'S COME. 392 00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,339 - ♪ I'M GONNA DO MY ONE LINE HERE ♪ 393 00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:58,340 - OH, YEAH. 394 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:05,555 - I WILL SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK. TAKE CARE. 395 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:06,682 - OKAY, WHERE ARE WE GOING? 396 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:10,143 WHERE'S IT--IS THERE A MEETING AFTER THE MEETING? 397 00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,144 LIKE, FOR COCKTAILS OR--JUST--OKAY. 28731

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