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1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,672
- ALL RIGHT,
SO WE HAVE TO REMEMBER H5.
2
00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:06,506
- OKAY. UH, OH.
3
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,675
I GOT IT. HIGH FIVE.
4
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:09,759
- OH, I SEE. OH, THAT'S GOOD.
5
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:10,927
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING
TO DO THERE.
6
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:11,761
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
A MNEMONIC DEVICE.
7
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,139
- YEAH, TRYING.
- HIGH FIVES
8
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:15,807
CAME OUT IN THE '70s.
9
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,392
THAT'S WHEN THEY WERE INVENTED,
THAT'S A 7.
10
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,727
- YEAH.
11
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:19,644
- THERE'S TWO OF US.
- SO WHY ARE YOU--
12
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,354
- SO IF YOU SUBTRACT 2 FROM 7,
THAT'S 5.
13
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,439
- OKAY, GREAT. SO YOU GOT IT.
SO UM...
14
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,691
- AND THEN, UM,
THERE'S FIVE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS.
15
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,693
- WHY ARE YOU GOING ON?
16
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:27,652
- OH, NO.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.
17
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,279
THIS IS FUN FOR ME
'CAUSE IT'S A PUZZLE.
18
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:29,946
- NO PUZZLE.
19
00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:31,906
- FIVE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS.
20
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,993
THERE IS MEAT, VEGETABLES,
GRAIN, DAIRY, AND FRUIT.
21
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:35,994
- OH. MY GOD.
OKAY.
22
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,203
- MY FAVORITE FRUIT
IS PINEAPPLE.
23
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,121
- BUT YOU KNOW THAT
WE GOT IT ALREADY, SO...
24
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:41,332
- PINEAPPLE COMES FROM HAWAII.
- OKAY.
25
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,417
- AND OH, OH,
26
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,211
MY FAVORITE CURRENT SHOW
IS HAWAII FIVE-0.
27
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,297
- HAWAII FIVE-0.
OKAY, SO THAT'S IT. DONE.
28
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,673
WE'RE DONE. HAWAII FIVE-0.
- YEAH.
29
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,801
OOH, OOH, AND SCOTT CAAN
IS THE START OF HAWAII FIVE-0.
30
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,094
- SCOTT CAAN? WE'RE REALLY
TALKING ABOUT SCOTT CAAN NOW?
31
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:54,721
- AND HIS FATHER IS JAMES CAAN,
32
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,140
WHO'S ONE OF
THE FIVE MAJOR STARS OF THE--
33
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,641
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
34
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,643
- ONE OF THE FIVE MAJOR
HUGE STARS, "H," RIGHT?
35
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,020
OF THE GODFATHER MOVIES.
36
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:07,108
SO IT'S CAAN, PACINO,
BRANDO, DUVALL, AND UM...
37
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,193
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS.
38
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,277
- OH...
- DIANE KEATON.
39
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,653
- DIANE KEATON, YES. THANK YOU.
40
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,322
AND IT'S EASY TO REMEMBER
HER NAME 'CAUSE HER NAME
41
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,908
IS THE SAME LAST NAME AS BUSTER
KEATON AND MICHAEL KEATON.
42
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:15,825
- BUT--NO--OKAY. WE'RE JUST
GOING THROUGH THIS NOW.
43
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:16,951
- BOTH COMEDIANS,
44
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,036
AND WHEN YOU LAUGH,
45
00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:18,536
YOU SAY "HA."
- STOP.
46
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,455
STOP.
STOP.
47
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:20,872
- "HA-HA."
- STOP. STOP.
48
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:21,789
STOP! STOP!
49
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,501
YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
50
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,127
YOU'RE OVERCOMPLICATING
THE WHOLE THING.
51
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,295
WE ALREADY HAD IT.
52
00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:29,380
YOU'RE JUST MAKING
IT MORE DIFFICULT,
53
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:30,465
JUST LIKE YOU DO EVERYTHING.
54
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:33,509
I LEFT MY PHONE IN THE CAR.
55
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,513
WHICH...IS...WAIT, HOLD UP.
56
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,015
A DAP...NO, IT WAS HANDSHAKE...
57
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:40,350
- NO, I GOT IT.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT. HA.
58
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,101
BUSTER KEATON AND MICHAEL KEATON
HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME
59
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:45,354
AS DIANE KEATON
WHO'S ONE OF THE FIVE HUGE STARS
60
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:46,439
ON THE GODFATHER MOVIES...
61
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:47,565
- NO. NO--NO--NO.
BUT I GOT IT.
62
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,817
- IT'S KEATON, BRANDO,
DUVALL, PACINO,
63
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,819
AND JAMES CAAN...
- OH, OKAY.
64
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,027
- WHO'S THE FATHER
OF SCOTT CAAN,
65
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:53,613
WHO'S THE STAR OF HAWAII FIVE-0.
66
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:54,823
HAWAII, PINEAPPLE,
67
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,407
PINEAPPLE'S MY FAVORITE FRUIT...
- NO--NO--NO--NO--NO--NO.
68
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,533
- FIVE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS...
- NO, YOU CAN'T--
69
00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:58,451
- THERE'S TWO OF US.
70
00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,994
5 PLUS 2 IS 7...
- WAIT, WAIT...SO...
71
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:01,871
- THAT'S THE '70s WHEN
HIGH FIVES WERE INVENTED, H-5.
72
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,623
- HIGH FIVE! HIGH FIVE!
73
00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,500
I HAD IT!
DAMN!
74
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:09,545
[haunting Western music]
75
00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:17,554
♪ ♪
76
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:35,738
EXPLAIN TO ME YOUR CURRENT
HEALTH CARE REGIMENT.
77
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,781
I MEAN, YOUR CURRENT PHYSICAL--
78
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,033
- I DO--HERE'S WHAT IT IS.
79
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:43,538
AEROBICS IS
LIKE SLOW STEADY-STATE CARDIO
80
00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:46,249
AND WHAT I DO IS, LIKE,
INTERVAL CARDIO.
81
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:46,749
- SO YOU'RE DOING IT ALL DAY?
82
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,418
- 20 MINUTES.
83
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,212
- OH.
- LIKE, 20 MINUTES A DAY.
84
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,338
YOU COULD DO IT.
85
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:53,756
- WHAT YOU DO MEAN WHEN YOU
SAY, "YOU COULD DO IT,"?
86
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,091
LIKE, YOU DROPPED "YOU."
87
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,093
- 20 MINUTES. I MEAN... I ADMIT,
I DID--OKAY.
88
00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:58,219
- WHY WOULD YOU EMPHASIZE "YOU"
LIKE THAT?
89
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,470
- I'M JUST SAYING...
90
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,014
- OF COURSE I COULD DO IT.
- OF COURSE YOU COULD IT.
91
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,558
I MEAN, IT'D TAKE A LITTLE WHILE
FOR YOU GET INTO IT.
92
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:04,517
BUT YOU COULD DO IT.
93
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,436
- I'M AN ATHLETIC,
SPRY YOUNG MAN.
94
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,604
OF COURSE I COULD DO IT.
95
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,688
I PLAYED SOCCER, BRO.
96
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,117
male announcer: LIVE
FROM THE NESTLE ARENA,
97
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:25,163
WELCOME TO THE FINALS
OF 1987 JAZZ FIT CHAMPIONSHIPS.
98
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:31,336
REPRESENTING THE BODY SHOP
FROM HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA,
99
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:36,257
FLASH.
100
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,720
AND FROM THE SKIN SHOP
FROM DETROIT, MICHIGAN,
101
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:41,679
LIGHTNING.
102
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,724
['80s dance music]
103
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:52,732
♪ ♪
104
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,628
[dramatic music]
105
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:19,591
♪ ♪
106
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,636
['80s dance music]
107
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:25,848
♪ ♪
108
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,893
[dramatic music]
109
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,397
♪ ♪
110
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,441
[80s dance music]
111
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:39,529
♪ ♪
112
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,531
[dramatic music]
113
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:50,289
♪ ♪
114
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,348
['80s dance music]
115
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:12,770
♪ ♪
116
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:16,566
[dramatic music]
117
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:24,574
♪ ♪
118
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,837
['80s dance music]
119
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:42,592
♪ ♪
120
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,635
[dramatic music]
121
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:53,394
♪ ♪
122
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:32,058
['80s dance music]
123
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,143
♪ ♪
124
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:34,727
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
125
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,145
- YOU [bleep]!
126
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:40,983
YOU CRAZY SICK [bleep]!
127
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:41,943
LET ME AT HIM!
128
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,277
I'M GONNA KILL YOU.
129
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,322
LET ME AT--
YOU [bleep]!
130
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,579
- IF YOU AND I WERE IN
JUST A TAG TEAM FIGHT
131
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:59,252
AND THERE WAS A COUPLE OF
YOUR AVERAGE STREET RIFFRAFF.
132
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:00,253
- SOME RAPSCALLIONS?
133
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:01,295
- WELL,
HOW DO YOU THINK WE'D DO?
134
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,296
- NOW, WHEN YOU SAY TAG TEAM,
135
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,422
YOU'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT ONE OF US
136
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,507
SCRAPPING WITH THREE DUDES
AND TAGGING OUT.
137
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,051
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
IF WE WERE JUST TOGETHER--
138
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,427
- BLIP, BLIP.
139
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,512
- IF WE JUST TOGETHER
BLIPPIN' IT, SLIPPIN' IT,
140
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:10,805
CRASHIN' IT, SLAPPIN' IT. YEAH.
141
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:12,098
- STREET RULES.
KICK 'EM IN THE CROTCH.
142
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:12,974
- IF--DO WE GET A GOOD--
DO WE GET A WEAPON?
143
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:14,517
- LET'S SAY NO.
144
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,186
- AVERAGE SIZED GUYS.
- SO BIGGER THAN US.
145
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,857
- DUDE, I THINK IF WE WENT
HOG WILD ON THEM, WE'D BE OKAY.
146
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,984
LIKE, IF WE JUST WENT CRAZY
AND LOST OUR MINDS.
147
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,027
I MEAN, IF I WAS BEATING A DUDE
AND PISSING MYSELF
148
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,363
AT THE SAME TIME, THAT'S OKAY
AS LONG AS I'M MAKING CONTACT.
149
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,784
- IT TURNS OUT
IT WASN'T A GHOST AT ALL.
150
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,705
IT WAS MY LITTLE SISTER HIDING
IN THE BASEMENT!
151
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:39,375
AND SHE WAS GOIN' "BOO"
AND MAKING THE NOISES
152
00:07:39,457 --> 00:07:41,085
THE WHOLE TIME, SO...
153
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:51,554
- OH, SHOOT.
I FORGOT HIS JUICE BOXES.
154
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,764
- OH.
- I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
155
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:54,807
YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT
WITH ZACHARY?
156
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:59,478
- I THINK SO.
- OKAY.
157
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:03,399
- SO, ZACHARY...
158
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,444
YOU KNOW I'M, UH, GONNA BE
MARRYING YOU MOTHER
159
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,988
AND, UH,
I'M GONNA BE MOVING IN SOON
160
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:11,449
AND I JUST...
161
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:15,620
I'M SO EXCITED
TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU.
162
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:23,419
YOU KNOW,
I KNOW THAT YOU HAD A HARD TIME
163
00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:29,008
WITH YOUR FATHER AND HE SPANKED
YOU AND, YOU KNOW,
164
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:34,179
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN WITH ME.
165
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:35,097
OKAY?
166
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:40,436
AND I PROMISE I
WILL NEVER SPANK YOU.
167
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:46,275
OKAY. THAT'S... OKAY.
168
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,612
UM...
169
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,281
I KNOW WHY YOU DID THAT.
170
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:56,953
BUT I WILL NEVER SPANK YOU
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU STILL--
171
00:08:57,036 --> 00:09:02,541
OH! THAT'S--
172
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,961
OW.
173
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,254
I DON'T KNOW
THAT THERE'S ANYTHING
174
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,715
I DID TO DESERVE THAT--OKAY.
175
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:15,554
THIS...YOU...OKAY.
176
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,599
MM. I'MA BE REAL WITH YOU.
177
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,810
YOU CAN'T GO HITTIN' PEOPLE.
178
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,520
ALL RI--OH! OH! OH!
179
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:26,232
I AIN'T COMING BACK
FOR THAT FOURTH ONE.
180
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,111
ALL RIGHT. SO WE DONE?
181
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:31,654
WE GOT THAT OUT OF OUR SYSTEM?
182
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:35,491
'CAUSE I KNOW THAT THIS...
183
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:38,327
THIS ISN'T YOU.
OH!
184
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:42,623
I TOLD YOU--UH! OH! OH! COME ON!
185
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,543
THIS...OH! OH! OH!
186
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,044
THIS...YOU...
UGH! UGH! WHY!
187
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,213
- FAST.
- OH WHAT?
188
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,923
OOH! UGH! OH!
189
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,175
THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
190
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,345
WHY--WHAT DID I DO?
191
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,763
I'M THE GOOD GUY.
192
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,599
I'M--I'M THE GOOD GUY, MAN.
193
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,398
LOOK.
194
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,026
I'M NEVER GONNA SPANK YOU.
195
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:13,696
I'M NOT GONNA BE
LIKE YOUR FATHER.
196
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:14,697
I'M GONNA BE YOUR FRIEND.
197
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:21,871
YOU NEED TO RESPECT ME!
198
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:25,625
YOU UNDERSTAND?
YOU LITTLE [bleep]!
199
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:45,519
- I WILL RESPECT YOU, CHARLES.
200
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,980
IF YOU PLAY YOUR ROLE.
201
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,441
NOW, LISTEN UP...
202
00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:54,820
I'M A BAD, BAD BOY, CHARLES.
203
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:58,699
I DON'T NEED A [bleep] FRIEND.
204
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,743
SO GO AHEAD.
MARRY MY MOMMY.
205
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,078
MOVE IN.
206
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,454
[bleep] HER AS HARD AS YOU WANT.
207
00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:08,459
JUST LEAVE ME
THE [bleep] ALONE.
208
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:13,547
YOU DO THAT, 11 YEARS FROM NOW,
I'LL BE OUT OF THE HOUSE
209
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:17,093
AND WE WON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS.
210
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,595
YOU DON'T...
211
00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:25,601
AND I WILL BREAK YOU.
212
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:31,399
OKAY, CHARLES?
213
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,983
- HOW ARE WE DOING?
214
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,653
- I LOVE HIM!
215
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,789
- SO THE OTHER THING
I'M THINKING IS MAYBE
216
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,915
WITH THE PLASMA BOLTS, INSTEAD
OF GOING THE TRADITIONAL WAY
217
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:51,460
AND HAVING THEM ACTUALLY
EMANATING FROM HIS HANDS,
218
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,629
WHAT IF THEY CAME
FROM HIS AURA?
219
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,631
THEY JUST CAME--
- UH, HE'S HERE.
220
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:56,715
- OH, GOD. THANK YOU.
221
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,593
GUYS, THIS IS SO EXCITING.
222
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:02,263
MARVEL LEGEND STAN LEE
CALLS ME ON THE PHONE
223
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,849
A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO
AND SAYS, "I'D LIKE TO STOP BY."
224
00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:08,269
SO I JUST THOUGHT THAT'D BE
A GREAT TREAT SO HE'S--
225
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:09,478
- EXCELSIOR!
226
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,981
- HEY! MR. LEE!
- ALL RIGHT.
227
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,232
ALL RIGHT.
SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
228
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,275
LET'S GET GOING.
229
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,235
- OH, YOU'RE HERE
TO PITCH US SOME CHARACTERS?
230
00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:19,613
- YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR
I HAVE.
231
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,365
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE HERE.
232
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:26,912
WE GOT TO...
233
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,622
EASEL WORK'S
A LITTLE BIT RUSTY.
234
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,624
DON'T TOUCH THAT.
235
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:34,670
OKAY. INTRODUCING...
236
00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:35,796
HEYDAY.
237
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:41,135
HE LIVES PERPETUALLY
IN HIS BEST YEAR: 1982.
238
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,929
HIS NEMESIS IS
THE EVIL WRITER'S BLOCK.
239
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:47,975
HE'LL LIVE FOREVER AS LONG
AS HE CONTINUES TO COME UP
240
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:51,937
WITH GREAT, INTERESTING,
AND RELEVANT IDEAS.
241
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,736
WELL, THAT GOT NOTHING.
242
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,321
- MR. LEE,
I JUST--I JUST FEEL, YOU KNOW,
243
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:01,739
WE'RE REALLY BUSY THIS MORNING,
YOU--
244
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:05,034
- UH-UH-UH-UH, THIS AIN'T
MY FIRST RODEO, SONNY BOY.
245
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,494
I GOT A MILLION OF 'EM.
246
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,913
ALL RIGHT.
247
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,165
DR. BALANCE.
248
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:13,834
HE'S AN AGING ROBOTICS SCIENTIST
249
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:17,379
WHO NEVER SLIPS AND FALLS
IN THE SHOWER.
250
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,632
IT'S WHERE AM I, MAN?
251
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:23,552
NO MATTER HOW LATE AT NIGHT
HE GETS UP TO GO NUMBER ONE,
252
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,181
HE ALWAYS KNOWS EXACTLY
WHERE HE IS.
253
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:28,140
THERMOSTATRO.
254
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,810
HE HAS THE POWER
TO CONTROL ANY THERMOSTAT,
255
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,355
WHICH MEANS
HE NEVER HAS TO BE TORMENTED
256
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:38,776
BY ANY SUDDENLY COLD SPOTS.
TECHNO.
257
00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,986
HE UNDERSTANDS HOW TO CONTROL
ANY TECHNOLOGICAL DEVICE.
258
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:45,491
THINGS LIKE THE COMPUTER
OR THE LITTLE HAND COMPUTER.
259
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,576
ROAD RAGE.
260
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,746
HE GETS BEHIND INNOCENT DRIVERS
ON THE THOROUGHFARE
261
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:54,083
ON THEIR WAY HOME
FROM THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
262
00:13:54,165 --> 00:13:56,043
AND HE LEANS
ON HIS RADIOACTIVE HORN
263
00:13:56,126 --> 00:14:01,257
AND THEY SAY, "HEY! COME ON,
GET OFF OF MY BUMPER, HOT ROD!
264
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,927
WE'RE GOIN' AS FAST AS WE CAN!"
265
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:08,889
WHERE'D YOU GUYS COME FROM?
266
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:13,602
OH, YEAH.
HERE'S THE GRAY CHASER.
267
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,772
HER SPECIAL POWERS ARE
SHE'S 40, HAS NO KIDS,
268
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,941
AND SHE'S GOT A ROCKIN' HOT BOD.
269
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,777
SHE'S ONLY INTO OLDER DUDES
WITH PONYTAILS AND LIVER SPOTS.
270
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,070
HOMESTEAD.
271
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,947
HE'S GOT THE MUTANT ABILITY
TO FORCE
272
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,158
ANY OF HIS BUSY ADULT CHILDREN
TO COME VISIT FOR A CHANGE.
273
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,244
I MEAN, WOULD IT KILL YOU
TO PICK UP A PHONE?
274
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,288
HOW 'BOUT AN EVIL VILLAIN, HUH?
275
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,623
THE OVERWEIGHT JAMAICAN MAID.
276
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:38,043
ALSO KNOWN AS JAMILA!
277
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:42,923
SHE STEALS THINGS.
278
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,133
- MR. LEE,
I'M--I'M--I'M SO SORRY.
279
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:49,805
JUST, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
I-I DON'T THINK THAT, UH...
280
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:55,269
I DON'T THINK THAT WE COULD USE
ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.
281
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,146
- OH.
282
00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:00,065
SO SAY THE ROOM?
283
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,609
- YES.
- YEAH.
284
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:04,486
- OH.
285
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,364
NO, I-I-I UNDERSTAND.
286
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,659
DON'T MIND ME.
287
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,580
SOMETIMES YOU'RE JUST
SHOOTING BLANKS.
288
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:15,831
I KNOW WHEN I'M NOT WANTED.
289
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,917
JUST...TOSS THE REST OF 'EM
290
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,337
IN THE, UH, TRASH COMPACTOR
OR WHATEVER YA GOT THESE DAYS.
291
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,588
- IT WAS A REAL HONOR, SIR,
TO HAVE YOU.
292
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:23,756
- AH.
293
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:26,258
[laughs]
294
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:30,721
EUREKA.
295
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:33,932
I'VE JUST BEEN INSPIRED.
296
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:37,186
NOW, THIS IS A SUPERHERO TEAM,
297
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:42,524
A RAGTAG GROUP OF
MULTIETHNICS KNOWN AS...
298
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:45,235
THE FIRED BUNCH.
299
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,987
THEY POSSESS
THE TESTICULAR FORTITUDE
300
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,740
TO BITE THE VERY HAND
THAT FEEDS THEM
301
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:52,409
AND ARE CURSED
TO WALK THE STREETS
302
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:55,496
FOR AN ETERNITY
UNEMPLOYED.
303
00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:01,710
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
304
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,630
- WE LOVE IT!
305
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:11,595
- EXCELSIOR!
- EXCELSIOR!
306
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,184
SO WHAT'S THE WORST JOB
YOU EVER HAD?
307
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:22,231
- WORST JOB I EVER HAD...MAN.
308
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,983
IT SUCKED WORKING
FOR THAT COFFEE SHOP.
309
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,360
- OH, THAT BARISTA SITUATION.
310
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,403
- TALKIN' 'BOUT BARISTA.
311
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,572
PEOPLE BE COMING IN
FOR COFFEE IN THE MORNING.
312
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:31,990
LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
313
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,409
THEY'RE NOT HAPPY.
THEY HAVEN'T HAD THEIR...
314
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:34,952
both: COFFEE YET.
- RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
315
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:38,664
- PEOPLE
ARE JUST TALKIN' 'BOUT...
316
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:39,707
BEING A BARISTA,
317
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,960
IT WAS, LIKE, IT WAS A MEETING
OF WORLDS 'CAUSE
318
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,378
YOU HAD CLARENCE,
319
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,422
MY MAN WAS ONE OF THEM BARISTAS
WHO WAS FROM,
320
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:47,965
LIKE THE SOUTH SIDE.
- YEAH, YEAH.
321
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:49,633
- AND THEN YOU HAD, LIKE,
322
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,594
SARAH WAS, LIKE,
YOU KNOW, SHE WAS LIKE,
323
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,054
THE M--THE MANAGER.
324
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,808
THE M-MIDDLE MANAGER
AND SHE WAS LIKE, "YOU GUYS,
325
00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:01,729
WE REALLY--WE REALLY NEED TO PUT
THE WHIPPED CREAM CAN--CANISTERS
326
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:05,315
BACK WHERE WE GOT THEM."
327
00:17:05,398 --> 00:17:06,108
AND JUST,
328
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,608
I MEAN, MIDDLE MANAGERS.
- YEAH.
329
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,863
- THEY ARE KILLING ME.
330
00:17:10,945 --> 00:17:14,575
LIKE, THEY ARE HOLDING
SOME STATUS OVER YOU
331
00:17:14,657 --> 00:17:16,285
THAT YOU
DESPERATELY WANT THEIR JOB.
332
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:17,286
- YEAH.
YEAH, YEAH.
333
00:17:17,368 --> 00:17:17,953
- LIKE, YOU WANT TO BE,
334
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:22,249
"LIKE--ROUND UP, YOU GUYS."
335
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,291
- NOT THE ROUND UP.
336
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,167
PLEASE, NOT THE...
both: ROUND UP.
337
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,712
- "LET'S--LET'S TAKE A KNEE,
YOU GUYS.
338
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,048
"GOOD JOB.
GOOD MORNING,
339
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:33,510
BUT WE'RE REALLY FALLING
BEHIND WITH CLEANLINESS."
340
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:34,803
AND YOU SEE THESE ARE
THE [bleep] THAT ARE
341
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,639
JUST ALWAYS BE HAVIN'--SMOKIN'
CIGARETTES OUTSIDE THE BACK.
342
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,640
- MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
343
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:39,641
- "YOU WANT ANOTHER BREAK?
344
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,727
YOU WANT ANOTHER BREAK?"
345
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,604
- WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
- OKAY, OKAY.
346
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,654
- WHAT FLAVOR YOU GOT?
347
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,864
- VANILLA.
348
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:54,615
FLAVOR DO YOU GOT?
349
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,909
- LEMON ZINGER.
350
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,327
- LEMON ZINGER LIKE THAT TEA?
351
00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,953
- OH.
- WHAT?
352
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,246
- OH, NO.
353
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,748
- NO-NO.
354
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,333
- I GOT THAT BRAIN FREEZE.
355
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,501
- OH, MAN. THE [bleep] YOU DO.
356
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:08,712
YOU AIN'T NO BRAIN FREEZE.
- OH.
357
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,672
- MAN, DUDE. RELAX, MAN.
THAT [bleep] PASS, MAN.
358
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,674
CALM DOWN.
- IT AIN'T PASSING.
359
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:13,842
OOH. IT'S INTENSIFYING.
360
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,594
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT PASSIN'?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MAN?
361
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,262
THAT CAN'T BE INTENSIFYIN', DOG.
362
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,472
- WHOO.
363
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:20,224
- COME ON, MAN.
YOU SAY YOU FROM THE HOOD, DOG.
364
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,851
YOU ACTIN' WEAK RIGHT NOW
WITH THIS BRAIN FREEZE.
365
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,645
- AHH! OW!
- COME ON.
366
00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,438
AIN'T NO BRAIN FREEZE GONNA MAKE
YOU YELL LIKE THAT, MAN.
367
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,191
GET OVER--DON'T BE HITTIN'
YOUR HEAD WITH THE BRAIN FREEZE.
368
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,360
COME ON. HEY. YO,
YOU GOIN' SILVER BALLS ON THAT?
369
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:32,820
SILVER BALLS ON A STRING,
KINETIC ENERGY.
370
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,530
- PLEASE SHUT YOUR--
371
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,697
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
372
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,115
COME ON. OKAY, EXORCIST.
373
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,575
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' NOW?
374
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,994
WHAT, YOU DOIN' SOME KUNG FU?
GET OVER IT, MAN. LISTEN.
375
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,122
IT CAN'T BE DOIN' THIS MUCH
TO YOU.
376
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,583
LISTEN, MAN.
DON'T BE A PUNK ASS BITCH, MAN.
377
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:47,417
GET OVER THE--WHAT,
ARE YOU AFRAID NOW?
378
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,211
YOU SEEIN' THINGS?
YOU JUST SCARED?
379
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:49,670
BRAIN FREEZE MAKING YOU SCARED?
380
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:51,547
- WHO ARE YOU?
381
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:52,381
- OH--WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"WHO AM I?"
382
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,882
YOU AIN'T GOT
NO ALZHEIMER'S.
383
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,718
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.
- HELP.
384
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,720
- YOU A PUNK ASS BITCH.
WHAT IS THIS?
385
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,682
YOU GOIN' THREE STOOGES
ON THIS [bleep].
386
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,393
THIS IS SOME CRAZY ASS--OH,
YOU EVEN DID THE HAND BLOCK.
387
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:06,937
YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN?
388
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,022
YOU'RE WEAK, MAN.
YOU A WEAK ASS [bleep].
389
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,233
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
'CAUSE YOU'RE--
390
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:12,317
- MMM!
- OH, WHOA.
391
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,986
YO, YO, YO, YO, YO, YO,
YO, YO, YO, YO, YO.
392
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:15,612
HOLD UP NOW. HOLD UP NOW.
HOLD UP NOW.
393
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:16,738
HOLD UP NOW. HOLD UP, MAN.
394
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,740
YOU GONNA CONTINUE
TO EAT THE FROYO EATIN'
395
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,243
ON TOP OF THE BRAIN FREEZE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', DOG?
396
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,121
HEY, NOW I'M REALLY STARTIN'
TO RESPECT YOU NOW, MAN.
397
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,164
IF YOU GONNA EAT THE THING
THAT'S CAUSING YOU THE PAIN?
398
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,625
THIS IS GREAT.
OH, OH, NOW IT'S GOIN' FASTER.
399
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:29,877
NOW YOU'RE SPEEDIN' UP.
400
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,211
HE'S STEERIN'
INTO THE BRAIN FREEZE.
401
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:35,090
THIS [bleep] IS STRAIGHT
CRAZY RIGHT HERE, DOG.
402
00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,508
HEY. REAL TALK, THOUGH?
REAL TALK, THOUGH?
403
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,427
REAL TALK, THOUGH? I MEAN,
THIS CRAZIER THAN THE TIME, MAN,
404
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,928
THAT I STRANGLED BENNY
WITH MY BARE HANDS
405
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,346
'CAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE MY MONEY.
406
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,973
- ALL RIGHT. WE GOT 'EM.
407
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,851
- GOT WHO? WHAT?
408
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:46,852
WHAT? YOU 5-0?
409
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:49,062
- STAND UP SLOWLY.
410
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,981
- WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
411
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,900
MAN, I KNOWN YOU
SINCE THE 6TH GRADE.
412
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,694
- YOU UNDER ARREST FOR THE
MURDER OF BENNY TACTERATRICS.
413
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,988
GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
414
00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,115
- HEY, MAN, YOU A PUNK ASS
BRAIN FREEZE [bleep].
415
00:20:00,198 --> 00:20:04,745
- AND YOU GOIN' TO JAIL
FOR A LONG TIME.
416
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:07,664
I'M IN TOO DEEP.
417
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:08,290
AHH.
418
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,626
I GOT THE BRAIN FREEZE.
419
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,127
GOT CAUGHT WITH
THE BRAIN FREEZE.
420
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:12,753
- YEAH,
YOU GOT THAT BRAIN FREEZE!
421
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,588
- GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
422
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:18,800
- DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN
CATHERINE ZETA-JONES
423
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,470
WAS IN ENTRAPMENT?
424
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,512
- DO I REMEMBER?
425
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:25,307
- THIS BITCH,
SHE DOING A BACK BEND
426
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,642
BUT SHE UPSIDE DOWN
AND SHE ON THE FLOOR.
427
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:27,809
- GOING THROUGH THE LASER--
428
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:28,894
GOING THROUGH THE LASER STORM
LIKE THIS?
429
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,187
- GOING THROUGH THE LASERS.
430
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,355
- GOING THROUGH THE LASERS.
431
00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:32,522
I'M GONNA WATCH IT, DUDE.
432
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:33,649
SAY, "HEY, SWEETIE."
- SAY WHAT?
433
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,609
- "MAYBE WE SHOULD GO
TO THE MOVIES THIS WEEKEND.
434
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:38,153
YOU GOT, UH..."
- SAY, "WHO IS THIS?"
435
00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:39,738
- "CATHERINE ZETA-JONES."
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
436
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:40,322
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
437
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:41,949
- SHE WAS--SHE...OH.
438
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,867
- DO YOU REMEMBER, UM,
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
439
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,661
WHEN JENNIFER CONNELLY
WAS ON THAT HORSE?
440
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,662
ALL LIKE...
- OOH.
441
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,747
YOU TALKIN' ABOUT THINGS
I CAN'T FORGET NOW.
442
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,915
TALKIN' ABOUT THAT--
YOU WERE LIKE--
443
00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:53,168
- THAT WAS--
THAT [bleep] WAS MY AWAKENING.
444
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,294
- [laughs]
445
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,507
- I'M GONNA DO MY ONE LINE HERE.
446
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,259
- OH, YEAH.
447
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:06,723
['80s dance music]
448
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:14,731
♪ ♪
31755
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