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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,672 - ALL RIGHT, SO WE HAVE TO REMEMBER H5. 2 00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:06,506 - OKAY. UH, OH. 3 00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,675 I GOT IT. HIGH FIVE. 4 00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:09,759 - OH, I SEE. OH, THAT'S GOOD. 5 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:10,927 I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO THERE. 6 00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:11,761 TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A MNEMONIC DEVICE. 7 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,139 - YEAH, TRYING. - HIGH FIVES 8 00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:15,807 CAME OUT IN THE '70s. 9 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,392 THAT'S WHEN THEY WERE INVENTED, THAT'S A 7. 10 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,727 - YEAH. 11 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:19,644 - THERE'S TWO OF US. - SO WHY ARE YOU-- 12 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,354 - SO IF YOU SUBTRACT 2 FROM 7, THAT'S 5. 13 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,439 - OKAY, GREAT. SO YOU GOT IT. SO UM... 14 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,691 - AND THEN, UM, THERE'S FIVE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS. 15 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,693 - WHY ARE YOU GOING ON? 16 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:27,652 - OH, NO. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS. 17 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,279 THIS IS FUN FOR ME 'CAUSE IT'S A PUZZLE. 18 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:29,946 - NO PUZZLE. 19 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:31,906 - FIVE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS. 20 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,993 THERE IS MEAT, VEGETABLES, GRAIN, DAIRY, AND FRUIT. 21 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:35,994 - OH. MY GOD. OKAY. 22 00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,203 - MY FAVORITE FRUIT IS PINEAPPLE. 23 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,121 - BUT YOU KNOW THAT WE GOT IT ALREADY, SO... 24 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:41,332 - PINEAPPLE COMES FROM HAWAII. - OKAY. 25 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,417 - AND OH, OH, 26 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,211 MY FAVORITE CURRENT SHOW IS HAWAII FIVE-0. 27 00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,297 - HAWAII FIVE-0. OKAY, SO THAT'S IT. DONE. 28 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,673 WE'RE DONE. HAWAII FIVE-0. - YEAH. 29 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,801 OOH, OOH, AND SCOTT CAAN IS THE START OF HAWAII FIVE-0. 30 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,094 - SCOTT CAAN? WE'RE REALLY TALKING ABOUT SCOTT CAAN NOW? 31 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:54,721 - AND HIS FATHER IS JAMES CAAN, 32 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,140 WHO'S ONE OF THE FIVE MAJOR STARS OF THE-- 33 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,641 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 34 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,643 - ONE OF THE FIVE MAJOR HUGE STARS, "H," RIGHT? 35 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,020 OF THE GODFATHER MOVIES. 36 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:07,108 SO IT'S CAAN, PACINO, BRANDO, DUVALL, AND UM... 37 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,193 - I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS. 38 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,277 - OH... - DIANE KEATON. 39 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,653 - DIANE KEATON, YES. THANK YOU. 40 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,322 AND IT'S EASY TO REMEMBER HER NAME 'CAUSE HER NAME 41 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,908 IS THE SAME LAST NAME AS BUSTER KEATON AND MICHAEL KEATON. 42 00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:15,825 - BUT--NO--OKAY. WE'RE JUST GOING THROUGH THIS NOW. 43 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:16,951 - BOTH COMEDIANS, 44 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,036 AND WHEN YOU LAUGH, 45 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:18,536 YOU SAY "HA." - STOP. 46 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,455 STOP. STOP. 47 00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:20,872 - "HA-HA." - STOP. STOP. 48 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:21,789 STOP! STOP! 49 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,501 YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING? 50 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,127 YOU'RE OVERCOMPLICATING THE WHOLE THING. 51 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,295 WE ALREADY HAD IT. 52 00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:29,380 YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT MORE DIFFICULT, 53 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:30,465 JUST LIKE YOU DO EVERYTHING. 54 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:33,509 I LEFT MY PHONE IN THE CAR. 55 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,513 WHICH...IS...WAIT, HOLD UP. 56 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,015 A DAP...NO, IT WAS HANDSHAKE... 57 00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:40,350 - NO, I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. HA. 58 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,101 BUSTER KEATON AND MICHAEL KEATON HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME 59 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:45,354 AS DIANE KEATON WHO'S ONE OF THE FIVE HUGE STARS 60 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:46,439 ON THE GODFATHER MOVIES... 61 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:47,565 - NO. NO--NO--NO. BUT I GOT IT. 62 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,817 - IT'S KEATON, BRANDO, DUVALL, PACINO, 63 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,819 AND JAMES CAAN... - OH, OKAY. 64 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,027 - WHO'S THE FATHER OF SCOTT CAAN, 65 00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:53,613 WHO'S THE STAR OF HAWAII FIVE-0. 66 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:54,823 HAWAII, PINEAPPLE, 67 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,407 PINEAPPLE'S MY FAVORITE FRUIT... - NO--NO--NO--NO--NO--NO. 68 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,533 - FIVE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS... - NO, YOU CAN'T-- 69 00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:58,451 - THERE'S TWO OF US. 70 00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,994 5 PLUS 2 IS 7... - WAIT, WAIT...SO... 71 00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:01,871 - THAT'S THE '70s WHEN HIGH FIVES WERE INVENTED, H-5. 72 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,623 - HIGH FIVE! HIGH FIVE! 73 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,500 I HAD IT! DAMN! 74 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:09,545 [haunting Western music] 75 00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:17,554 ♪ ♪ 76 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:35,738 EXPLAIN TO ME YOUR CURRENT HEALTH CARE REGIMENT. 77 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,781 I MEAN, YOUR CURRENT PHYSICAL-- 78 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,033 - I DO--HERE'S WHAT IT IS. 79 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:43,538 AEROBICS IS LIKE SLOW STEADY-STATE CARDIO 80 00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:46,249 AND WHAT I DO IS, LIKE, INTERVAL CARDIO. 81 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:46,749 - SO YOU'RE DOING IT ALL DAY? 82 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,418 - 20 MINUTES. 83 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,212 - OH. - LIKE, 20 MINUTES A DAY. 84 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,338 YOU COULD DO IT. 85 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:53,756 - WHAT YOU DO MEAN WHEN YOU SAY, "YOU COULD DO IT,"? 86 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,091 LIKE, YOU DROPPED "YOU." 87 00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,093 - 20 MINUTES. I MEAN... I ADMIT, I DID--OKAY. 88 00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:58,219 - WHY WOULD YOU EMPHASIZE "YOU" LIKE THAT? 89 00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,470 - I'M JUST SAYING... 90 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,014 - OF COURSE I COULD DO IT. - OF COURSE YOU COULD IT. 91 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,558 I MEAN, IT'D TAKE A LITTLE WHILE FOR YOU GET INTO IT. 92 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:04,517 BUT YOU COULD DO IT. 93 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,436 - I'M AN ATHLETIC, SPRY YOUNG MAN. 94 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,604 OF COURSE I COULD DO IT. 95 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,688 I PLAYED SOCCER, BRO. 96 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,117 male announcer: LIVE FROM THE NESTLE ARENA, 97 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:25,163 WELCOME TO THE FINALS OF 1987 JAZZ FIT CHAMPIONSHIPS. 98 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:31,336 REPRESENTING THE BODY SHOP FROM HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA, 99 00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:36,257 FLASH. 100 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,720 AND FROM THE SKIN SHOP FROM DETROIT, MICHIGAN, 101 00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:41,679 LIGHTNING. 102 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,724 ['80s dance music] 103 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:52,732 ♪ ♪ 104 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,628 [dramatic music] 105 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:19,591 ♪ ♪ 106 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,636 ['80s dance music] 107 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:25,848 ♪ ♪ 108 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,893 [dramatic music] 109 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,397 ♪ ♪ 110 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,441 [80s dance music] 111 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:39,529 ♪ ♪ 112 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,531 [dramatic music] 113 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:50,289 ♪ ♪ 114 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,348 ['80s dance music] 115 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:12,770 ♪ ♪ 116 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:16,566 [dramatic music] 117 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:24,574 ♪ ♪ 118 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,837 ['80s dance music] 119 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:42,592 ♪ ♪ 120 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,635 [dramatic music] 121 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:53,394 ♪ ♪ 122 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:32,058 ['80s dance music] 123 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,143 ♪ ♪ 124 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:34,727 YOU SON OF A BITCH! 125 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,145 - YOU [bleep]! 126 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:40,983 YOU CRAZY SICK [bleep]! 127 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:41,943 LET ME AT HIM! 128 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,277 I'M GONNA KILL YOU. 129 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,322 LET ME AT-- YOU [bleep]! 130 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,579 - IF YOU AND I WERE IN JUST A TAG TEAM FIGHT 131 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:59,252 AND THERE WAS A COUPLE OF YOUR AVERAGE STREET RIFFRAFF. 132 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:00,253 - SOME RAPSCALLIONS? 133 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:01,295 - WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK WE'D DO? 134 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,296 - NOW, WHEN YOU SAY TAG TEAM, 135 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,422 YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ONE OF US 136 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,507 SCRAPPING WITH THREE DUDES AND TAGGING OUT. 137 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,051 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT IF WE WERE JUST TOGETHER-- 138 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,427 - BLIP, BLIP. 139 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,512 - IF WE JUST TOGETHER BLIPPIN' IT, SLIPPIN' IT, 140 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:10,805 CRASHIN' IT, SLAPPIN' IT. YEAH. 141 00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:12,098 - STREET RULES. KICK 'EM IN THE CROTCH. 142 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:12,974 - IF--DO WE GET A GOOD-- DO WE GET A WEAPON? 143 00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:14,517 - LET'S SAY NO. 144 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,186 - AVERAGE SIZED GUYS. - SO BIGGER THAN US. 145 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,857 - DUDE, I THINK IF WE WENT HOG WILD ON THEM, WE'D BE OKAY. 146 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,984 LIKE, IF WE JUST WENT CRAZY AND LOST OUR MINDS. 147 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,027 I MEAN, IF I WAS BEATING A DUDE AND PISSING MYSELF 148 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,363 AT THE SAME TIME, THAT'S OKAY AS LONG AS I'M MAKING CONTACT. 149 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,784 - IT TURNS OUT IT WASN'T A GHOST AT ALL. 150 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,705 IT WAS MY LITTLE SISTER HIDING IN THE BASEMENT! 151 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:39,375 AND SHE WAS GOIN' "BOO" AND MAKING THE NOISES 152 00:07:39,457 --> 00:07:41,085 THE WHOLE TIME, SO... 153 00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:51,554 - OH, SHOOT. I FORGOT HIS JUICE BOXES. 154 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,764 - OH. - I WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 155 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:54,807 YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT WITH ZACHARY? 156 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:59,478 - I THINK SO. - OKAY. 157 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:03,399 - SO, ZACHARY... 158 00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,444 YOU KNOW I'M, UH, GONNA BE MARRYING YOU MOTHER 159 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,988 AND, UH, I'M GONNA BE MOVING IN SOON 160 00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:11,449 AND I JUST... 161 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:15,620 I'M SO EXCITED TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU. 162 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:23,419 YOU KNOW, I KNOW THAT YOU HAD A HARD TIME 163 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:29,008 WITH YOUR FATHER AND HE SPANKED YOU AND, YOU KNOW, 164 00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:34,179 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN WITH ME. 165 00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:35,097 OKAY? 166 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:40,436 AND I PROMISE I WILL NEVER SPANK YOU. 167 00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:46,275 OKAY. THAT'S... OKAY. 168 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,612 UM... 169 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,281 I KNOW WHY YOU DID THAT. 170 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:56,953 BUT I WILL NEVER SPANK YOU BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU STILL-- 171 00:08:57,036 --> 00:09:02,541 OH! THAT'S-- 172 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,961 OW. 173 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,254 I DON'T KNOW THAT THERE'S ANYTHING 174 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,715 I DID TO DESERVE THAT--OKAY. 175 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:15,554 THIS...YOU...OKAY. 176 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,599 MM. I'MA BE REAL WITH YOU. 177 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,810 YOU CAN'T GO HITTIN' PEOPLE. 178 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,520 ALL RI--OH! OH! OH! 179 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:26,232 I AIN'T COMING BACK FOR THAT FOURTH ONE. 180 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,111 ALL RIGHT. SO WE DONE? 181 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:31,654 WE GOT THAT OUT OF OUR SYSTEM? 182 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:35,491 'CAUSE I KNOW THAT THIS... 183 00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:38,327 THIS ISN'T YOU. OH! 184 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:42,623 I TOLD YOU--UH! OH! OH! COME ON! 185 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,543 THIS...OH! OH! OH! 186 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,044 THIS...YOU... UGH! UGH! WHY! 187 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,213 - FAST. - OH WHAT? 188 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,923 OOH! UGH! OH! 189 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,175 THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE. 190 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,345 WHY--WHAT DID I DO? 191 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,763 I'M THE GOOD GUY. 192 00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,599 I'M--I'M THE GOOD GUY, MAN. 193 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,398 LOOK. 194 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,026 I'M NEVER GONNA SPANK YOU. 195 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:13,696 I'M NOT GONNA BE LIKE YOUR FATHER. 196 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:14,697 I'M GONNA BE YOUR FRIEND. 197 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:21,871 YOU NEED TO RESPECT ME! 198 00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:25,625 YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU LITTLE [bleep]! 199 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:45,519 - I WILL RESPECT YOU, CHARLES. 200 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,980 IF YOU PLAY YOUR ROLE. 201 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,441 NOW, LISTEN UP... 202 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:54,820 I'M A BAD, BAD BOY, CHARLES. 203 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:58,699 I DON'T NEED A [bleep] FRIEND. 204 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,743 SO GO AHEAD. MARRY MY MOMMY. 205 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,078 MOVE IN. 206 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,454 [bleep] HER AS HARD AS YOU WANT. 207 00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:08,459 JUST LEAVE ME THE [bleep] ALONE. 208 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:13,547 YOU DO THAT, 11 YEARS FROM NOW, I'LL BE OUT OF THE HOUSE 209 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:17,093 AND WE WON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS. 210 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,595 YOU DON'T... 211 00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:25,601 AND I WILL BREAK YOU. 212 00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:31,399 OKAY, CHARLES? 213 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,983 - HOW ARE WE DOING? 214 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,653 - I LOVE HIM! 215 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,789 - SO THE OTHER THING I'M THINKING IS MAYBE 216 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,915 WITH THE PLASMA BOLTS, INSTEAD OF GOING THE TRADITIONAL WAY 217 00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:51,460 AND HAVING THEM ACTUALLY EMANATING FROM HIS HANDS, 218 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,629 WHAT IF THEY CAME FROM HIS AURA? 219 00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,631 THEY JUST CAME-- - UH, HE'S HERE. 220 00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:56,715 - OH, GOD. THANK YOU. 221 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,593 GUYS, THIS IS SO EXCITING. 222 00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:02,263 MARVEL LEGEND STAN LEE CALLS ME ON THE PHONE 223 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,849 A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO AND SAYS, "I'D LIKE TO STOP BY." 224 00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:08,269 SO I JUST THOUGHT THAT'D BE A GREAT TREAT SO HE'S-- 225 00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:09,478 - EXCELSIOR! 226 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,981 - HEY! MR. LEE! - ALL RIGHT. 227 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,232 ALL RIGHT. SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN. 228 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,275 LET'S GET GOING. 229 00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,235 - OH, YOU'RE HERE TO PITCH US SOME CHARACTERS? 230 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:19,613 - YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR I HAVE. 231 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,365 ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE HERE. 232 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:26,912 WE GOT TO... 233 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,622 EASEL WORK'S A LITTLE BIT RUSTY. 234 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,624 DON'T TOUCH THAT. 235 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:34,670 OKAY. INTRODUCING... 236 00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:35,796 HEYDAY. 237 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:41,135 HE LIVES PERPETUALLY IN HIS BEST YEAR: 1982. 238 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,929 HIS NEMESIS IS THE EVIL WRITER'S BLOCK. 239 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:47,975 HE'LL LIVE FOREVER AS LONG AS HE CONTINUES TO COME UP 240 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:51,937 WITH GREAT, INTERESTING, AND RELEVANT IDEAS. 241 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,736 WELL, THAT GOT NOTHING. 242 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,321 - MR. LEE, I JUST--I JUST FEEL, YOU KNOW, 243 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:01,739 WE'RE REALLY BUSY THIS MORNING, YOU-- 244 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:05,034 - UH-UH-UH-UH, THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO, SONNY BOY. 245 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,494 I GOT A MILLION OF 'EM. 246 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,913 ALL RIGHT. 247 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,165 DR. BALANCE. 248 00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:13,834 HE'S AN AGING ROBOTICS SCIENTIST 249 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:17,379 WHO NEVER SLIPS AND FALLS IN THE SHOWER. 250 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,632 IT'S WHERE AM I, MAN? 251 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:23,552 NO MATTER HOW LATE AT NIGHT HE GETS UP TO GO NUMBER ONE, 252 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,181 HE ALWAYS KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE HE IS. 253 00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:28,140 THERMOSTATRO. 254 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,810 HE HAS THE POWER TO CONTROL ANY THERMOSTAT, 255 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,355 WHICH MEANS HE NEVER HAS TO BE TORMENTED 256 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:38,776 BY ANY SUDDENLY COLD SPOTS. TECHNO. 257 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,986 HE UNDERSTANDS HOW TO CONTROL ANY TECHNOLOGICAL DEVICE. 258 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:45,491 THINGS LIKE THE COMPUTER OR THE LITTLE HAND COMPUTER. 259 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,576 ROAD RAGE. 260 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,746 HE GETS BEHIND INNOCENT DRIVERS ON THE THOROUGHFARE 261 00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:54,083 ON THEIR WAY HOME FROM THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE 262 00:13:54,165 --> 00:13:56,043 AND HE LEANS ON HIS RADIOACTIVE HORN 263 00:13:56,126 --> 00:14:01,257 AND THEY SAY, "HEY! COME ON, GET OFF OF MY BUMPER, HOT ROD! 264 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,927 WE'RE GOIN' AS FAST AS WE CAN!" 265 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:08,889 WHERE'D YOU GUYS COME FROM? 266 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:13,602 OH, YEAH. HERE'S THE GRAY CHASER. 267 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,772 HER SPECIAL POWERS ARE SHE'S 40, HAS NO KIDS, 268 00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,941 AND SHE'S GOT A ROCKIN' HOT BOD. 269 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,777 SHE'S ONLY INTO OLDER DUDES WITH PONYTAILS AND LIVER SPOTS. 270 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,070 HOMESTEAD. 271 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,947 HE'S GOT THE MUTANT ABILITY TO FORCE 272 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,158 ANY OF HIS BUSY ADULT CHILDREN TO COME VISIT FOR A CHANGE. 273 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,244 I MEAN, WOULD IT KILL YOU TO PICK UP A PHONE? 274 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,288 HOW 'BOUT AN EVIL VILLAIN, HUH? 275 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,623 THE OVERWEIGHT JAMAICAN MAID. 276 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:38,043 ALSO KNOWN AS JAMILA! 277 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:42,923 SHE STEALS THINGS. 278 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,133 - MR. LEE, I'M--I'M--I'M SO SORRY. 279 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:49,805 JUST, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I-I DON'T THINK THAT, UH... 280 00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:55,269 I DON'T THINK THAT WE COULD USE ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS. 281 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,146 - OH. 282 00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:00,065 SO SAY THE ROOM? 283 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,609 - YES. - YEAH. 284 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:04,486 - OH. 285 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,364 NO, I-I-I UNDERSTAND. 286 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,659 DON'T MIND ME. 287 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,580 SOMETIMES YOU'RE JUST SHOOTING BLANKS. 288 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:15,831 I KNOW WHEN I'M NOT WANTED. 289 00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,917 JUST...TOSS THE REST OF 'EM 290 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,337 IN THE, UH, TRASH COMPACTOR OR WHATEVER YA GOT THESE DAYS. 291 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,588 - IT WAS A REAL HONOR, SIR, TO HAVE YOU. 292 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:23,756 - AH. 293 00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:26,258 [laughs] 294 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:30,721 EUREKA. 295 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:33,932 I'VE JUST BEEN INSPIRED. 296 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:37,186 NOW, THIS IS A SUPERHERO TEAM, 297 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:42,524 A RAGTAG GROUP OF MULTIETHNICS KNOWN AS... 298 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:45,235 THE FIRED BUNCH. 299 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,987 THEY POSSESS THE TESTICULAR FORTITUDE 300 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,740 TO BITE THE VERY HAND THAT FEEDS THEM 301 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:52,409 AND ARE CURSED TO WALK THE STREETS 302 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:55,496 FOR AN ETERNITY UNEMPLOYED. 303 00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:01,710 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 304 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,630 - WE LOVE IT! 305 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:11,595 - EXCELSIOR! - EXCELSIOR! 306 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,184 SO WHAT'S THE WORST JOB YOU EVER HAD? 307 00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:22,231 - WORST JOB I EVER HAD...MAN. 308 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,983 IT SUCKED WORKING FOR THAT COFFEE SHOP. 309 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,360 - OH, THAT BARISTA SITUATION. 310 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,403 - TALKIN' 'BOUT BARISTA. 311 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,572 PEOPLE BE COMING IN FOR COFFEE IN THE MORNING. 312 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:31,990 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 313 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,409 THEY'RE NOT HAPPY. THEY HAVEN'T HAD THEIR... 314 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:34,952 both: COFFEE YET. - RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 315 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:38,664 - PEOPLE ARE JUST TALKIN' 'BOUT... 316 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:39,707 BEING A BARISTA, 317 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,960 IT WAS, LIKE, IT WAS A MEETING OF WORLDS 'CAUSE 318 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,378 YOU HAD CLARENCE, 319 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,422 MY MAN WAS ONE OF THEM BARISTAS WHO WAS FROM, 320 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:47,965 LIKE THE SOUTH SIDE. - YEAH, YEAH. 321 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:49,633 - AND THEN YOU HAD, LIKE, 322 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,594 SARAH WAS, LIKE, YOU KNOW, SHE WAS LIKE, 323 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,054 THE M--THE MANAGER. 324 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,808 THE M-MIDDLE MANAGER AND SHE WAS LIKE, "YOU GUYS, 325 00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:01,729 WE REALLY--WE REALLY NEED TO PUT THE WHIPPED CREAM CAN--CANISTERS 326 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:05,315 BACK WHERE WE GOT THEM." 327 00:17:05,398 --> 00:17:06,108 AND JUST, 328 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,608 I MEAN, MIDDLE MANAGERS. - YEAH. 329 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,863 - THEY ARE KILLING ME. 330 00:17:10,945 --> 00:17:14,575 LIKE, THEY ARE HOLDING SOME STATUS OVER YOU 331 00:17:14,657 --> 00:17:16,285 THAT YOU DESPERATELY WANT THEIR JOB. 332 00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:17,286 - YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. 333 00:17:17,368 --> 00:17:17,953 - LIKE, YOU WANT TO BE, 334 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:22,249 "LIKE--ROUND UP, YOU GUYS." 335 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,291 - NOT THE ROUND UP. 336 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,167 PLEASE, NOT THE... both: ROUND UP. 337 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,712 - "LET'S--LET'S TAKE A KNEE, YOU GUYS. 338 00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,048 "GOOD JOB. GOOD MORNING, 339 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:33,510 BUT WE'RE REALLY FALLING BEHIND WITH CLEANLINESS." 340 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:34,803 AND YOU SEE THESE ARE THE [bleep] THAT ARE 341 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,639 JUST ALWAYS BE HAVIN'--SMOKIN' CIGARETTES OUTSIDE THE BACK. 342 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,640 - MM-HMM. MM-HMM. 343 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:39,641 - "YOU WANT ANOTHER BREAK? 344 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,727 YOU WANT ANOTHER BREAK?" 345 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,604 - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? - OKAY, OKAY. 346 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,654 - WHAT FLAVOR YOU GOT? 347 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,864 - VANILLA. 348 00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:54,615 FLAVOR DO YOU GOT? 349 00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,909 - LEMON ZINGER. 350 00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,327 - LEMON ZINGER LIKE THAT TEA? 351 00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,953 - OH. - WHAT? 352 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,246 - OH, NO. 353 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,748 - NO-NO. 354 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,333 - I GOT THAT BRAIN FREEZE. 355 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,501 - OH, MAN. THE [bleep] YOU DO. 356 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:08,712 YOU AIN'T NO BRAIN FREEZE. - OH. 357 00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,672 - MAN, DUDE. RELAX, MAN. THAT [bleep] PASS, MAN. 358 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,674 CALM DOWN. - IT AIN'T PASSING. 359 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:13,842 OOH. IT'S INTENSIFYING. 360 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,594 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT PASSIN'? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MAN? 361 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,262 THAT CAN'T BE INTENSIFYIN', DOG. 362 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,472 - WHOO. 363 00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:20,224 - COME ON, MAN. YOU SAY YOU FROM THE HOOD, DOG. 364 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,851 YOU ACTIN' WEAK RIGHT NOW WITH THIS BRAIN FREEZE. 365 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,645 - AHH! OW! - COME ON. 366 00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,438 AIN'T NO BRAIN FREEZE GONNA MAKE YOU YELL LIKE THAT, MAN. 367 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,191 GET OVER--DON'T BE HITTIN' YOUR HEAD WITH THE BRAIN FREEZE. 368 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,360 COME ON. HEY. YO, YOU GOIN' SILVER BALLS ON THAT? 369 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:32,820 SILVER BALLS ON A STRING, KINETIC ENERGY. 370 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,530 - PLEASE SHUT YOUR-- 371 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,697 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 372 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,115 COME ON. OKAY, EXORCIST. 373 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,575 WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' NOW? 374 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,994 WHAT, YOU DOIN' SOME KUNG FU? GET OVER IT, MAN. LISTEN. 375 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,122 IT CAN'T BE DOIN' THIS MUCH TO YOU. 376 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,583 LISTEN, MAN. DON'T BE A PUNK ASS BITCH, MAN. 377 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:47,417 GET OVER THE--WHAT, ARE YOU AFRAID NOW? 378 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,211 YOU SEEIN' THINGS? YOU JUST SCARED? 379 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:49,670 BRAIN FREEZE MAKING YOU SCARED? 380 00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:51,547 - WHO ARE YOU? 381 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:52,381 - OH--WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHO AM I?" 382 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,882 YOU AIN'T GOT NO ALZHEIMER'S. 383 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,718 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. - HELP. 384 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,720 - YOU A PUNK ASS BITCH. WHAT IS THIS? 385 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,682 YOU GOIN' THREE STOOGES ON THIS [bleep]. 386 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,393 THIS IS SOME CRAZY ASS--OH, YOU EVEN DID THE HAND BLOCK. 387 00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:06,937 YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? 388 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,022 YOU'RE WEAK, MAN. YOU A WEAK ASS [bleep]. 389 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,233 THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 'CAUSE YOU'RE-- 390 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:12,317 - MMM! - OH, WHOA. 391 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,986 YO, YO, YO, YO, YO, YO, YO, YO, YO, YO, YO. 392 00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:15,612 HOLD UP NOW. HOLD UP NOW. HOLD UP NOW. 393 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:16,738 HOLD UP NOW. HOLD UP, MAN. 394 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,740 YOU GONNA CONTINUE TO EAT THE FROYO EATIN' 395 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,243 ON TOP OF THE BRAIN FREEZE? WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', DOG? 396 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,121 HEY, NOW I'M REALLY STARTIN' TO RESPECT YOU NOW, MAN. 397 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,164 IF YOU GONNA EAT THE THING THAT'S CAUSING YOU THE PAIN? 398 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,625 THIS IS GREAT. OH, OH, NOW IT'S GOIN' FASTER. 399 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:29,877 NOW YOU'RE SPEEDIN' UP. 400 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,211 HE'S STEERIN' INTO THE BRAIN FREEZE. 401 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:35,090 THIS [bleep] IS STRAIGHT CRAZY RIGHT HERE, DOG. 402 00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,508 HEY. REAL TALK, THOUGH? REAL TALK, THOUGH? 403 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,427 REAL TALK, THOUGH? I MEAN, THIS CRAZIER THAN THE TIME, MAN, 404 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,928 THAT I STRANGLED BENNY WITH MY BARE HANDS 405 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,346 'CAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE MY MONEY. 406 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,973 - ALL RIGHT. WE GOT 'EM. 407 00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,851 - GOT WHO? WHAT? 408 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:46,852 WHAT? YOU 5-0? 409 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:49,062 - STAND UP SLOWLY. 410 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,981 - WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 411 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,900 MAN, I KNOWN YOU SINCE THE 6TH GRADE. 412 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,694 - YOU UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDER OF BENNY TACTERATRICS. 413 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,988 GET HIM OUT OF HERE. 414 00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,115 - HEY, MAN, YOU A PUNK ASS BRAIN FREEZE [bleep]. 415 00:20:00,198 --> 00:20:04,745 - AND YOU GOIN' TO JAIL FOR A LONG TIME. 416 00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:07,664 I'M IN TOO DEEP. 417 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:08,290 AHH. 418 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,626 I GOT THE BRAIN FREEZE. 419 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,127 GOT CAUGHT WITH THE BRAIN FREEZE. 420 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:12,753 - YEAH, YOU GOT THAT BRAIN FREEZE! 421 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,588 - GET HIM OUT OF HERE. 422 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:18,800 - DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN CATHERINE ZETA-JONES 423 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,470 WAS IN ENTRAPMENT? 424 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,512 - DO I REMEMBER? 425 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:25,307 - THIS BITCH, SHE DOING A BACK BEND 426 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,642 BUT SHE UPSIDE DOWN AND SHE ON THE FLOOR. 427 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:27,809 - GOING THROUGH THE LASER-- 428 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:28,894 GOING THROUGH THE LASER STORM LIKE THIS? 429 00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,187 - GOING THROUGH THE LASERS. 430 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,355 - GOING THROUGH THE LASERS. 431 00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:32,522 I'M GONNA WATCH IT, DUDE. 432 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:33,649 SAY, "HEY, SWEETIE." - SAY WHAT? 433 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,609 - "MAYBE WE SHOULD GO TO THE MOVIES THIS WEEKEND. 434 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:38,153 YOU GOT, UH..." - SAY, "WHO IS THIS?" 435 00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:39,738 - "CATHERINE ZETA-JONES." YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 436 00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:40,322 - YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'? 437 00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:41,949 - SHE WAS--SHE...OH. 438 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,867 - DO YOU REMEMBER, UM, CAREER OPPORTUNITIES 439 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,661 WHEN JENNIFER CONNELLY WAS ON THAT HORSE? 440 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,662 ALL LIKE... - OOH. 441 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,747 YOU TALKIN' ABOUT THINGS I CAN'T FORGET NOW. 442 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,915 TALKIN' ABOUT THAT-- YOU WERE LIKE-- 443 00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:53,168 - THAT WAS-- THAT [bleep] WAS MY AWAKENING. 444 00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,294 - [laughs] 445 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,507 - I'M GONNA DO MY ONE LINE HERE. 446 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,259 - OH, YEAH. 447 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:06,723 ['80s dance music] 448 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:14,731 ♪ ♪ 31755

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