All language subtitles for Un Mundo maravilloso

A WONDERFUL WORLD

Once upon a time...

...in a not too distant future...

...a country in which everything was wonderful...

Cheers!

They look so warm inside.

Even their slippers are warm.

Make room!
Get out of here!

Bloody old hag!

Bloody snobs!

Get out of here or I'll call the police!

Right out, asshole!

Decrepit old freak!

Cheers, Fireman Juarez!

Oh Shit!

Help!

Help me!

Up here, you bastards!

Good night.

Come on, you bastards!

No?
Okay, then here goes the baby-maker!

He's going to jump!

Call the fire department.

Hey mister! There's a guy up there...
...it looks like he's going to jump.

Star what?
Star 86...
Listen... Wait.

Mercurio, good evening.

What have we got for the morning edition?

Another attack in the Middle East, 23 dead.

The gringos bombed Iraq again...
...and NASDAQ dropped another 6%.

Nothing new.

Thanks.

What about you Paco?
Lascurain closed the World Summit on Poverty,

Stating that there are no more poor in Mexico.
Can you believe it?

Fucking neo liberals!
The bastards live in a fantasy land.

Seems they want him for
President of the World Bank.

Birds of a feather flock together!
Bury it on page 8, that'll really piss of f Chicago Boy

Sorry to interrupt, Don Carlos...
...but I think this will interest you.

What is it, Felipe?

A vagrant snuck into the WFC and is threatening
to jump. It seems they can't get him down.

A vagrant in the WFC?
Take a photographer and cover it.

And call me immediately if the moron jumps.
We just might kill two birds with the one stone.

Yes, sir.
Right.

I think we'll go with this one.
At least a bit of blood will guarantee us a few sales.

Hey, what's going on?

What are you doing?

Easy does it, pal.

What took you so long?
Talk about piss weak!

Calm down! Don't be stupid! Take my hand.

Slowly, that's it.
Thanks, chief.

Useless drunk, look at the chaos you caused!

What do you mean?
I just went out for some air
Nothing's on fire.

Get moving, come on, move it!

Sir, can you tell me your name?
Perez, Juan Perez.

Why did you want to jump? Did you plan it, or...
Was it to protest against the government?
No, no, I was just...

Was it hunger that drove you to it! Did you pick
this building to draw attention to globalization?
What?

Are you with some political group?
Do you see yourself as a victim of neo-liberal policies?

Would you like to say a few words?
Yes...

Hello, to Rosita and all...
Alright, asshole, enough of your clowning!
Let's go! Cart him of f!

Sir, sir.
One more question.

Torres, follow me!

Why? I didn't do anything.

Sergeant, can I get a couple of photos?
Go ahead, Torres.

Grab him!
Grab him, partner!

The common man vs. Globalization.

Juan Perez vs. The neo liberals.

No more poor?

No more poor?
Attempts suicide as a protest against poverty.

Good evening.

What happened, Felipe?
How did it go?

So-so, Don Carlos.
They managed to get the guy down.

And although he said a few interesting things.
It didn't amount to anything in the end.

Here, have a look see what you think?

Are you sure about this?

The interview is right here.

Chucho, stop the presses!
No, man, much, much more!
We've got ourselves a bomb!

"No more poor?"
"Attempts suicide as protest against poverty."

Such occurrences, confirm the callousness of a
government bent on denying the existence of
more than 50 million poor people in the country.

This suicide attempt by Juan Perez a vagrant, nobody
would have missed and who, in an exclusive interview
for El Mercurio, blamed the Secretary of Economy.

They oblige us to reflect on the failure of this
government and casts serious doubts on their claim,
that they are winning the war against poverty.

God forgive me, but the poor are all sons of bitches!

Look, attempting suicide to gain attention is a bastard act.
But to blame me, really takes the fucking cake!

After all, we're only trying to improve
their living conditions!

Excuse me, Doctor, but Channel Four and
Radio Metropolis keep calling and there are
several reporters waiting outside.
What do I tell them?

So, boys, just how serious is this?
Well, as long as it doesn't affect the stock market,
we have nothing to worry about.

I'm sorry, Doctor, but I disagree.
These kind of things do influence the popularity polls.

I am certain that someone else is
behind this Juan Perez.
No one has a name like that.

Fortunately, only die-hard communists and
a couple of other halfwits read this rag.

How are you, brother?

Yes, Mr. President.
Yes, yes, I read it.

But, there has to be someone else behind it all.
Yes...

No, I don't have any evidence yet.
No, yes, yes...

I promise.
Today, yes.

You have my word, Mr. President.
God bless you.

We have to find this bastard!

What? What?
What's going on?

Shit a brick!
This one's still alive, man!

What's your problem, eh?
Isn't this the guy they're looking for?

You really think such an important
dude would be lying here?
No, I guess not.

We'll come back tomorrow to collect you, pal.
Don't let us down!

Sons of bitches, bastards... bloody hell.

What this?

None left.

How goes it, Lucifer?

It sure was cold last night, eh?
And the flea?

Don't worry, champ, we'll go find some breakfast.

Gosh, Rosita, I can't thank you enough.

I hadn't eaten a thing in three days.

You'd better hurry, my dad will be back soon.
You know he doesn't like you being here.

So? Where is Rat-face?
Gone to see if his other family drowned?

I told you before, show some respect.

He went to get some tin, for the roof.

It sure rained hard last night, eh?

Don't remind me, this dump almost fell in on us!

Well, just you wait, one of these days...
I'll surprise you, take you to live in a real house.
I've already got my eye on one.

Juan, you're such a dreamer.
You don't even have a job.

I've been looking, I swear.
Look, Rosita, things are really tough out there.

Yeah, sure, how could you?
All you ever do is hang around with your buddies.

No way, Rosita. I haven't seen them in ages.
Yeah, right, pull the other leg...

So, my little princess?
Will you come out with me, tonight?

You know daddy won't let me.

That's why you should set yourself free
and come and live with me.

Look, Juan, let's get this clear.
The day you have a job and
somewhere decent to live...

Is the day I'll marry you.

Bloody Perez, Bloody Perez
I told you, I don't want to see you around here.

What was that bastard doing here?
Nothing! Right, Tomasa?
Bloody Perez!

Excuse me, Sir, is this where they're hiring a janitor?

Don't tell me you're here to apply for that job?
No, no way, it's impossible.

You look so respectable.
Like you went to school and all.

5 years of university, a master's degree...
...and look where I ended up.
What happened?

I have 5 children, a sick wife,
and I've been out of work for a year.
All because of this damn government.

Geez, that really sucks, man!
But don't worry, the line is moving...
you'll get the job for sure.

"No vacancies."

May I leave you my resume?
We've been waiting for an hour.

"Don't insist!"

Well, that's that. I guess this wasn't our lucky day.

See you later.

To Flaco's memory!
He sure was one hell of a buddy

He's ancient history now.
Though some may doubt it, he' s in God's care now.

We'll probably all go the same way

How did you say it happened, Tamale?

You know, this fucking cozy cold weather...
he hadn't eaten for six days and...

So he was totally screwed.
It snuffed him!

What shit house luck.
It's not a matter of luck.

It's this damn life.
Turns on you, just like that

And you've got a long stretch behind you, eh, Don File?

Jesus! Bloody awful way to die.
Worse than a stray dog.

And that's where we're all heading.
Look at how many of us have gone this year.
Duck, Uncle, Scratch-and-Smell, Ariel, Tibiri...

And your damn mother, too.
Yeah, her too... her too.

You're sounding real optimistic, Aztec.
Let's drink to what we have left.
I want...

Here's to Teresa, who gave me the beer

What's up, man?
Aren't you going to toast?
Friends shouldn't be on their own.

Sorry brothers, but something just hit me
and I'll tell you now...
I'm not dying in the street without having loved.

Cheers!

Put it out! Put it out!

I have a right to a lawyer...
I'm a street artist.
Silence!
Lend me your sister!

What's with you, you're violating my rights!

Come on. Bloody Perez!
Okay, Bloody Perez!
Out you get, come on, move it!

What's up, chief?
I didn't do anything.

Sign here, Sir.
Commander.
Please.

Mr. Perez, pleased to meet you.
How do you do?

I'm sorry for the way they brought you, but it was urgent.

So, I'm not gonna be locked up?
Oh, Mr. Perez, of course not!

Thank you, Commander.

Would you mind accompanying me?

He's with me.

He's with us.
Mr. Perez.

Doctor.

Doctor, this is Mr. Juan Perez.

Hello, Mr. Perez.
How do you do, Sir.

How are you?
Fine.

Please, have a seat.
Thank you.

Can I offer you something to drink?

Well, I wouldn't say no to a Tequila, sir.

Lalo, order a coffee for our friend.

Two sugars, not stirred.

OK, Mr. Perez, we felt it was urgent that we meet
you because of our genuine concern about
what happened to you the other night.

What?

Oh... Really, it was nothing.

Not at all! Not everyone has the courage to try
to take their own life especially in defense of an ideal.

Well, if you say so...
My grandfather said that when I was a kid...

Before telling your life story, I need a favor.
Could you answer a few questions for us?

Sure. No worries, Prof.

Lalo, call the boys.

May I have your full name,
age and place of birth, sir?

My name?
Perez, Juan Perez.

My age, eh?
Put down, 29. And...
I was born in Jamaica.

Do you have any aliases or nicknames?

Geez, what letter should I start with?
Buddy, Tutti Fruity, Eatmachine, Here-Goes,
Tricky-Dicky, Tintan, Pepe the Bull...

But mostly I'm just called Bloody Perez.
You want me to go on?

No, no. That's quite enough.
Thank you.

Your address?

Geez, young feller. That' s even harder.
I sleep wherever night falls on me.
I did have my favorite bridges but now they're...

Fine. Can you read and write, Mr. Perez?

I get by, more or less, if I'm not rushed, that is.

Mr. Perez, have you ever belonged to a political party?

I'd rather be a dog!
You trying to insult me!

Are you a member of an NGO, or any other subversive...
or radical, political groups?

Could you repeat the question?

Look, what we want to know is if anyone paid you to
jump off the WFC building and then blame the Minister.

No, I think there's been a misunderstanding.
All I wanted...

What? What are you saying?
So, you never intended to commit suicide?

Look, Prof., if you want me to say I did...
then I did, but if you want me to say I didn't, then...

Lalo, Lalo.
Get this thing out of here, please!

Alright, Bloody Perez...
You're leaving.

Watch him, and make sure he doesn't steal anything.

Could I have another coffee, miss?
Two sugars, not stirred.

No! Not the sofa!

Shit! That's me!
"No more poor?"

Those damn tabloids must have cooked this up!
I bet they paid that bastard to pull his little stunt.

Even so, Doctor, the wheels have been set in motion.

We have to put a lid on this scandal, today.
A brief statement saying it was all
a mistake, should suffice.

We'd be better of f to announce that Mr. Perez
will be entering a retraining program...

Right, or will benefit from a housing,
or job assistance program.
Maybe.

Are you brain dead or what?
If we publicly help this prick we are admitting that
the State still has obligations in regards to welfare.

When our aim is to eradicate this populism shit,
once and for all.

If I may, Doctor. I suggest we ask this bum
how much he wants?
I'm sure it's all a question of money.

No, Lalo, no. That is totally against my principles.
Although...

...in this instance, I think you might be right.

How much can I give him, Doctor?

What's the minimum wage?

Um...
What is it? Fifty? Sixty pesos a day?

Then, give him 500 pesos.

That's almost two weeks wages.

Look, Perez, I've had it with you. So here,
take your 3,000 pesos and that's it, end of story!

Thank you, Sir,
But I thought we agreed on 3,500.

No, Perez! The deal was 3,000.

I clearly heard...
Alright then, you bastard, here, take it, now you have it.

Thank you very much.
My regards to the Professor.

Doctor!
Oh, is he a doctor?

You should have told me.
I have this rash.

Jesus, you've got no shame.
You won the lottery with this.

He got of f cheap.
I mean, what if I had really jumped.
He'd have been in real deep shit!

You should be grateful that times have changed
and we live under State of Law.

Before, you wouldn't have lived to tell the story.
Don't exaggerate.

I'm warning you, next time we'll put you away
for life no questions asked.

Don't sweat it. I swear no one will know about this.
You've been warned!

Gotta go, my ride's leaving!
You've been warned, you bastard!

I like that guy.

Mr. Juan Perez who met with the Secretary of
Economy admitted he was bribed by a
reporter from the newspaper El Mercurio

For the sole purpose of stirring up public opinion
and casting doubts on this government' s significant
economic and social achievements.

In keeping with the Publications Law
blah, blah, blah...
What's your side of it?

Don Carlos, I swear every word I wrote is true.
I've got the tapes... you can check them.

Why don't we just forget this and
publish their press release?

No, no, forgive me Ramon, but the case of this...
What's his name?
Perez. Juan Perez.

Isn't nonsense. It' s concrete proof that what the
neo liberals say is all lies, or do you actually
believe they're eradicating poverty?

You may disagree, but the macroeconomic
figures don't. The macroeconomic figures...
Cut the crap, Ramon!

You're staring to sound like them.
I bet, Chicago Boy paid him to say that.

Forgive me for insisting, Carlos, but I think
we should put an end to this, once and for all.

OK! OK! Alright!
Publish Chicago Boy's press release, but bury it
on page 20. He' s not having it all his own way.

And you are going to track down this Juan Perez
wherever he may be. Once I confirm my
suspicions about Lascurain bribing him.
We won't stop until I have his resignation on my desk.

"People' s martyr, a giant con": The Metropolitano.

"Fake suicide": The Centinela.

"Welfare martyr a sham": Gaceta de Mexico.

"Poor or an impostor": The Continental.

"Kicked to death..."
It's not possible...

Those resentful pricks at El Mercurio who should
have run this on the front page, put it on page 22.

And don't even admit they lied.
I can't stand the mediocrity of the press in this country

Listen, Pedro, honestly,
Didn't you feel sorry, for this man, and how he lives?

Sorry? He disgusted me.
You shouldn't talk like that!

Do you think he' s poor by choice?
Yes, of course he is.

Don't talk rubbish.
How on earth can you say that?

Darling, do you want me to explain?
In a survey we did last year do you know
how people answered the question:
Why do you think you are poor?

No, no idea.
I presume they blamed the system.

40% said it was God's will.
Another 30% said that's life.

20% said it was bad luck.
Only 10% blamed us and the system.

I don't believe a word of it.
Shall we put it to the test?

Mari, Mari, come here.

Yes, sir?

Mari, we want to ask you something...
but you have to tell the truth.

Why do you think you and your family are poor?
Mari, you don't have to answer.

Go ahead, Mari, feel free.

The truth is, Sir, that a few years ago
I thought it was God's will.
Then I thought it was bad luck.

But now, I'm absolutely certain that this
government and all the sons of bitches
who came before you are to blame!

Thank you, Mari, you may go.

You see? Maybe this Mr. Perez doesn't
fit your statistics either.

Darling, don't confuse the two...
There's no comparison between Mari, who is
well above the poverty line and economically
productive, and the dregs of society like Perez!

It's parasites like him who hinder
the country' s development.

Well, do something to help them.
Like what?
I don't know.

But, it really terrifies me to think that one day,
they'll get tired of living like that and I don't even
want to consider what they might be capable of.
Possibly, even eat us alive!

Thank God this whole issue is over.

"But God had a different opinion."

Gosh, Juanito, you really outdid yourself
with the TV.
I never saw my daddy so happy.

And did you like your presents?
'Course I did, they're real pretty.
You can tell they're real high class.

And that's just the start, Rosita.
Wait till you see...

What if I bring you next payday a new stove.
Just don't get too carried away.
Remember, you need to save.

It's hard to not get carried away, Rosita.
Things sure look different with
money in your pocket.

Look...

So where did you say you got a job?

A friend of mine, high up in the
government recommended me at a factory.
The only problem is that I have to study
and you know I'm not related to Spark.

Who's he?
Bright Spark!

Juanito, you don't know how happy it makes me
to see how much you've changed!

Just remember your promise!
Work and a new house and you'll marry me!

Perez and Rosa are in love!

Cut it out, you kids!

Come here, you brats!
Santa has something for you, too.
Look!

Won't they tell us to go, Juanito?
Nah, I've been here heaps of times.

We'll just see the house I've got my eye on
and we'll go.

Look, that's it.
What do you think?
It's really something, eh?

Now I think you really have lost your marbles.
A house like that for us?
Not in a million years!

When have I ever let you down, my little princess?
What can I say?

The garden's really pretty, isn't it?
It's gorgeous.
Just imagine our kids there!

I brought sardines too, to make salad.

You're a regular miracle worker!
So, you gave in to temptation and sold your body eh.
The guy would've had to be blind!

I can't believe someone just gave you 1,000 pesos.
You know me.

Or did you go back to your wicked ways,
and lift someone' s wallet?
For sure!

Jesus, you guys, are so suspicious.
Look!

Well I' II be damned!
So, what, are you famous now!
Come on, Give! How'd you do it?
It was a real cinch.

I reckon you were born lucky.

Don't give me that lucky man shit, Tamale!
It only lasted about two seconds.

And to top it all of f, I've got myself in deep shit.
How come?

I spun Rosita one hell of a story
the kind only I could come up with.
About how I had a job and now we could
save up and buy a little house.

I even proposed to her!
What did she say?

What do you think, after the future I painted?
She said yes.

You got any ideas on how to get out of this mess.

What went wrong!

Alright you assholes!
Let's go, let's go...

Listen to me, you bastards.
The victim of social injustice is back!
And this time I really am going to jump.

So all you rich people feel ashamed
about us being so poor.

Give it all you've got, buddy!

Maybe they'll give us double, this time!

It probably only works at the other building.
Christ, Tamal. Why don't you try then?

Just ignore him. He' s just jealous.
He doesn't like to see others getting ahead.

You just concentrate.
Maybe you forgot something.

Let me see, I went out on the ledge to hide.
...looked down at the street,
I saw a couple of dudes.

And... shit... ahhh...

Buddy! Buddy!

Extra! Extra! He did it! He did it!
Phony people' s martyr comes through!
Extra, extra, read all about it!

"He did it!"

"We are all Perez!"

This way, Doctor.

Not now sir.

Doctor!
What can you tell us about last night's events?
How do you feel about being blamed?
Does this put an end to your
World Bank aspirations?

You will receive a press release, today
stating our position.

Rumor has it, that if Mr. Perez dies you'll have to resign.
Please! Show some respect!

"Capitalist, traitor pig!"

You're hot stuff, Felipe!

This guarantees us the
National Press Award!
Thank you, Don Carlos.

Who would have thought, something
so trivial would cause such a fuss.
Even the Times and the Washington Post ran it.

Just pray that our champion of social justice dies,
because we'll milk that for all it' s worth.

We'll demand Lascurain's head.
The prick already saw himself
as World Bank President.

May I?
What is the matter?

We were sold out by eleven, Don Carlos.
At this rate, we'll have to double our print run.

Thanks.
You're welcome.

Here's to you, my dear Felipe.
Thank you Don Carlos. I am grateful
you took the risk for me.

And here's to Perez.
Juan Perez, May God preserve him,
but not for too long!

Look at it this way, Rosita...
At least the food here isn't half bad.
Nor is the bed!

Look, Rosita...
My buddy was born lucky!
Even the doctors say it' s a miracle he survived.

But what if he doesn't wake up Don File,
and you all are too blame... always...
egging him on to get drunk.

Yeah, right, like he really needs his arm twisted!
Don't start!

Don't be like that, Rosita.
Look on the bright side, my buddy' s a big celebrity

Did you see how handsome he looks...
in the photo in today' s paper?

He looks like a movie star!
He looks like Baby Jesus.

Let's take the worst case scenario.
Perez dies today.

Well, firstly, the stock market would collapse.
And your image, likewise, Doctor.
The market analysts are already talking about
the Lascurain Perez effect.

Don't worry, we'll go down in history alright, but
like our colleagues of the December mistake.
Don't even joke about that!
Sorry, Doctor.

I am not ending up as an advisor or
some shitty little teacher.

What is it, Lalo? Has he turned up?
He's in the Intensive Care Unit at the General Hospital.
Unfortunately, the diagnosis is not at all favorable.

I can kiss the
World Bank goodbye.

Don't worry, Doctor.
You have to have faith in God.

Don't give me that crap, Lalo! Talk about naive!
It's the poor who believe that God
takes care of shit like this!
Sorry, sir.

Firstly, we have to move the bastard from
that dump of a hospital.
Yes, sir.

After our last budget cuts, they
must not even have band-aids.

Look, the Secretary has come to see him.

Gentlemen, may I have your attention please.

Good afternoon, Sir. How are you?
How are you doing?
Good afternoon.

Take him away, please, boys.

What are you going to do to him?
He's still alive!

Don't make a fuss ma'am.
I have a court order to transfer him.

Yes, but she is right.
You are violating my friend' s humanitarian
and institutional rights!
You can't just take him like that!

It isn't like that, gentlemen.
Please, accept this.

Ma'am, take it. It' s for his own good
We're moving him somewhere he
will get much better care.

Can we come, too?
We're his family,
Not right now. No, no, not for the moment.

Take him away!
Use the back door and make sure no one sees you.

If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.

Technically speaking, Pedro.
There is no reason for him not to wake up.
It appears that the fall did not damage any vital organs.
Thank God!

What is surprising is that he managed
to survive before the accident.

What are you talking about, Isaac?
I saw him a few days ago
and was perfectly fine.

In short, your friend has pernicious anemia,
chronic malnutrition, cirrhosis of the liver,
decalcification, cerebral hypertrophy.

And we found evidence of syphilis, gonorrhea,
cellular degeneration, cholera, malaria
and a host of other illnesses obviously
resulting from his living conditions.

Diseases, we thought had been completely eradicated.
I don't give a flying fuck about what he had before!

You must understand, it' s not my problem.

Isaac, you have to do something!

We can try shock therapy.
But its risky.
It's very likely we will lose him.

O.K.
I'll take my chances.
It'll be in God's hands.

If Rosa says they're not at the Red or Green Cross
then maybe he' s already croaked.

Bite your tongue!
Don't go jinxing us, Azteca.

My poor buddy!
To die so young and homeless to boot!
And just when his luck was changing.

You should have seen Rosa, she was a total wreck.
We should never have let them take him.

And for a lousy 100 pesos.
How cheap is that!
We really are pathetic!

What do you think they did with his body?

Sliced him open and tossed him in a mass grave.

That's how it is, Lucifer...

That's how we'll all end up.
Resign yourself, Lucifer!

Here's to you, buddy!
May you share God' s heavenly glory.

Woops, hold on!

Look, Blondie, there I am on TV again.

See, I told you, you're a real celebrity.
You were all over the news last night.

Just look at this place!
I just can't figure out how I ended up here.

After what you did, everyone thinks you're a hero.

Hey, Blondie, I'm not dreaming, am I?
I don't dream like this, not even after a toke on a joint.
Maybe I died and you're an angel.

I'll give you a shot, to prove that I'm not.
Steady on!

But, listen, who' s gonna pay for all this?
I mean, they're not gonna want something,
later? You know...

Be patient, it will all be explained to you soon.

As if I care.
I'd sell my soul to the devil to live like this for a week.

My dear Perez!
How are you feeling?

Never felt better, sir.
Can't you see?
Oh, so you... thanks.

How is he, Nurse?
He hasn't stopped eating,
other than that he's fine.
Should I call Dr. Goldberg?

No need. I just talked to him.
But I would like you to get me a wheelchair.
Yes, sir.

Won't this cost you an arm and a leg, Prof?
You needn't worry about that. Perez.

I wish everything could be settled with money.

Easy for you to say you're probably rolling it.
You got money written all over you.

You think people with money don't have problems?
Yeah, sure?

You're wrong. In that sense and in many others
you and I are the same, Perez.

Come of f it, no way!

Think about it:
The more you have, more problems,
greater responsibility.
There are days I wish I were free like you.

We can swap, if you want.
That's not the point...

There will always be rich and poor.
Unfortunately that will always be so.

Really, Prof?
It's a real bitch, eh?

You have no idea how hard life is for the poor.
I can well imagine, Perez.

That's why I want to help you get ahead.
I have a proposition for you.

I'll recommend you for a good job.
A job? Hang on!
I thought we were friends.

What?
Well, how do you want me to help you?

Well, I'm going to have to accept the job part,
but what I really want is a little house.

A little house.
Nothing fancy, not all, something simple, but decent.

You see, that has always been my dream.
A little house, where I could have a family.
And an opportunity like this only comes
once in a lifetime, right?

OK, Perez. It' s a deal.
Really? Really?
Thank you.

Sit down, you're still weak.
But in exchange, you have to help me, Perez.

Anything you want, just say the word!

Look, you do what I tell you to and
I promise that your dream will come true.

What do you think, Blondie?
Amazing, you look respectable!

How about this?
You remind me of that actor,
the one in the black and white films.

What was his name? He was really funny.
A funny actor? Yes!

Good evening, thank you for coming.

Doctor, what can you tell us about the condition of...?
Before I answer, Miss, I want to share
some thoughts with you.

Those media, committed to truth and democratic
change have witnessed the efforts my administration
has made to eradicate poverty in the country.

Unfortunately, there are still media that have
made lies and slander their modus vivendi.

The regrettable case of Mr. Juan Perez
is an example of this.

And so, I have decided that today in order
to clear up any doubts, Mr. Perez himself
will answer all your questions.

Juan, please...

Yes, testing.

'Evening.

Um, how can I explain why I did what I did?

Well, here goes.

Have you ever considered what a bitch of
an effect a busted romance can have?

Well, that's exactly what happened to me.

Imagine after a life full of love with the woman of your
dreams she dumps you for some other asshole!

You tell me, who wouldn't want to kill
himself in that situation?

I think that will do, Juan.
No, I have more...
That's enough.

Any more questions?

How can we be sure he really is Mr. Perez?

Yeah, I am a different person now.
Just drop it, please.

Mr. Perez, so that it is absolutely clear did
you ever doubt or blame Secretary
Lascurain for your decision?

No way! He and I are real good friends.
Aren't we, Prof?

Mr. Perez, aren't you worried, after what you just
told us that people will see you as a fraud?

Well, that depends.
If you want me to say yes, then yes.
But, if you'd rather I said no, then no.
You get my drift?

Mr. Perez, I don't know if you remember me?

No, truth is I don't, young man.

I interviewed you the night you almost
jumped off the World Financial Center.

Don't you remember?

No, I was so upset, how would I remember you?

Mr. Perez, I only have one question but
for me it is a matter of life or death.

No need to be so heavy.
OK, let's have it.

Could you tell me in all honesty if you have been the
victim of any pressure or attempted bribery by the
government, to make you change your statement?

Listen, young feller, do you always think
that everyone behaves just like you?

That's my Perez!
It is wonderful to see that, despite their problems the
humble folk, never lose their sense of humor.
Thank you for coming.

Extra! Extra! Fraud!
Phony people' s martyr confesses.
Extra! Extra!

And so, this man Perez had his dream come true...

In the name of God, I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride, Juan!

Kiss! Kiss!

Ladies and gentlemen...
My beloved family.

I just want to say that today is very special for me.
It's the happiest day of my whole miserable life.

And I want you to know that no matter how shitty
our lives are. Our dreams can come true.

Believe me, I saw no way out.
I saw all of you as a whole different social class.

God tests us, but he comes through in the end, really!

And so as not to bore you, I'll just say: Don't lose faith.

I'm sure your dreams will come true too.

Because this is the land of opportunity...
And so I hope you'll all be as happy
as we are, right, darling?

You see, sis'? I told you the rich cry too.
Those bastards aren't rich they're not even middle class!

Kiss! Kiss!

Look after her for me, Perez.
And you'd better behave yourself, asshole, because
she's who I love most in the whole world.

Don't worry "dad", Rosita couldn't be in better hands.

You've been warned, asshole!
OK, daddy, see you later.

Off you go, my girl.

Let's go, my little princess.

Don't cry, daddy!

"Paradise woods."
"A place where your dreams can come true."

Wow, it's a palace, Juanito!
I never thought it would be so pretty.

Wait till you see inside.
You'll love it.

Let's do it, like in the movies.

So, Rosita, what do you think of the house?
It's really something, isn't it?

It sure is, it' s gorgeous.
It's just like winning the lottery isn't it?

Lottery my foot! I had to work for this.

Speaking of work, what time do you
have to get up tomorrow?

About four, I think...
Because, although it' s got real class
this house is a bit isolated.

What do you want me to make you, for lunch?
You know me, I'll eat anything.

Well, you'll get a nice surprise, because,
besides everything else, I can cook, too.

Listen, Rosita, did you think about what I said?

Oh, Juan, don't you think it's a bit soon
to be thinking about kids.
I like kids and all...

Wait, someone's at the door.
Let 'em knock. Who'd be visiting, at this hour?

You'd better get it, it might be important.

Excuse me, sir.
Does Juan Perez live here?

No, no...
You must have the wrong house.

Fuck me dead, it's you!
You'd have to see it to believe it?
We have to drink to this.
You bet!

This is a miracle.
Yeah!

Get a load of him, he looks
like a different person.
Yeah, he looks more like... Johnny Perez!

What a surprise, guys.
No, I don't drink any more.
Aren't you going to ask us in?
Come in, you guys, come in.

Hi, there!
Rosita, what are you doing here?
What do you mean, Don File?
This is my house.

Really! No kidding? Just look at it!
Color TV... the works.
It's a real mansion.

Yeah, small, but cozy eh?
Yes, it is.

It's so good to see you.
We all had you dead and buried.

Steady on! I'm still alive and kicking.
Touch wood!

Just a manner of speaking.
But, now that we've found you, we're wondering:
Where should we sleep?

We are still family, aren't we?

Geez, buddy, it's not that easy.
Don't get me wrong, but things have changed.

Hey, would you like a piece of cake?

Do you mean to tell me, you got married, buddy?

I think I'll leave you to it so you can talk.

See ya Rosita, sorry.

Okay, you guys, yes, I did get married.
And I did look for you, to give you your invitations
but it all happened so fast I didn't
have time to find you.

Don't worry about it.
We'll take it that we were invited
because you'll take us in, won't you?

Geez, buddy, there's not enough room.

What about right here?

Crap, crap and more crap.
This has really gone to his head!

A pair of tits have got more pull than a team of oxen!
But like the saying goes: To be or not to be...

Let's go. Because we do have some dignity.
We've been kicked out of better places than this!
Let's go!

Guys... guys... I'm sorry.
I really am.
But, this chance, is one in a million.

Don't you worry buddy we understand.
People have to get ahead even if, to do so,
means stabbing their loved ones in the back.

Look, just so you know I still care why don't you
spend Christmas with us?

You jerk!
It's only February!

This is where we part company.
You can take your bloody new house and
your Christmas and shove them up...

See you never, buddy.
We're through.

Enjoy your goddamn nouveau riche, life, asshole!

Don't take it to heart, Juanito.
You worked hard for all of this and luckily
you've put that life behind you.

Yes Rosita, I know but it hurts.
Down and out as they are, they were like family.

Stop looking so gloomy and come with me.
Didn't we say we were going to celebrate today?

No two ways about it, boys.
That is one ungrateful asshole!

He only got all this, because of us, true?

Don't let it upset you, Tamal.
Forget about it.

Our buddy will be real sorry, change his mind
once he thinks it through Tamale.

No, it's a class thing.
None of us would have acted like that, would we?

If either of you won the lottery
would you act like fucking assholes?
Of course not!

Then, I'm right.
The bastard is a fuckin' traitor!

Don't be so hard on him, Tamale.

Look, Tamale, it was wrong, but try to be positive.
Maybe we'll win the lottery one day,
and our luck will change and...

No, Filemon.
This isn't about luck.

That asshole just used us and you can
forgive him if you want...
But for me, it's fuckin' adios. He' s dead!

See you 'round.

See you later Azteca.

This is unbelievable, Nena.
Do you remember Joe Stiglitz?

Yes.

The White House advisor who became
President of the World Bank?

Yes, and later he won the Nobel Prize?

Well, listen to what he says here:

As Vice President of the World Bank, I have seen,
first hand, the devastating effects that globalization
can have on developing countries and in
particular, on the poor in those countries.

Isn't that the absolute pits?
I don't know. Maybe he's right.

After becoming a multi-millionaire from working
there now he decides he doesn't like the system?

It's like pissing in your own backyard!

Hello? Yes, put him on.

How are you, Lalo?
Yes, just a second, I'll get him.

I just saw him.
He says it's urgent. You have to.

What is it, Lalo?

Are you sure? So, do you know who it is?

No, Lalo, do what you have to, whatever it takes.
Just don't let the press get wind of it.
Whatever is necessary, Lalo.

Listen closely you assholes.
Even though it mightn't show I'm poor too.
And sometimes I'm even honorable!

And I want you to give me the same as
what you gave my traitor of a buddy.

Will you get that, Ramon.

Yes? And is he still there?

Wait a minute. Carlos, you won't believe this,
but a new champion of social justice has
appeared, and in true Perez style is going
to jump off the National Lottery building.

Shall we send someone?
Of course. Why don't you cover it?

No, Beto, forget it.
No one. O.K.

That's all the country needs, for it
to start raining poor people.
Do me a fucking favor, please?

I'd settle for a new blanket and a broad.
Although, a broad makes a good blanket.
So, look... whatever falls my way.

Mexico, I believe in you, but because of this unjust
system, I am going to end my life in support
of my poverty stricken countrymen.

What?

Another one?
Do you know how many of them there are?

No, no, do what you want, but find out how
big the problem is, and solve it, please!

Whatever. However you want.

I swear grandfather, that one day, no matter
what the cost, I will eradicate these
goddamned, good for nothing, bums!

I want a house with two color TVs
and two refrigerators with beers inside.

Don't worry, Mr. Tamale.
Come down and I promise, that your friend's house
will look like a shack compared to yours.

Right on!

And I want a car like they gave that jerk
although, I don't know how to drive.

We'll pay for your lessons.
Just be careful coming down!

Give them a hand!

Don't get carried away.
We want him alive.

What happened, Lalo?
What did you do with them?

They're in the cells at the police station, Doctor.

And I presume that asshole Perez is to blame for it all.

Right, so Pandora's box has been opened.

Let's consider the worst scenario.

I don't even want to think about it.
What if Perez becomes a role model
for all the country' s poor?

No. No. Do the math.
60 million living in extreme poverty multiplied by the
$15,000USD we spent on that joker Perez...

The country would be bankrupt.

Have I ever told you about Dr Fridman?

He was my teacher in Chicago, a real die-hard
progressive but he always advised me
to go back to basics.

So in this Perez case we will have to apply
Newton�s Third Law.

Which is to say...

What goes up, must come down...

Juanito, don't you think six times
in one night is too much?

We have to make up for lost time, don't we?

Well, yes but...
It's really late and you have to get up early for work.

But we're on our honeymoon!

When I get paid I'll take you to Acapulco.
But meanwhile, let me water your little garden.

And believe it or not, I'm ready again!

Wait, wasn't that the door?

It's probably my buddies.
I'll get rid of them in a flash.

Hang on.

Don't fall asleep on me!
No.

Mr. Juan Perez.
You are under arrest.

Mr. Juan Perez X...

Do you have any questions?

Yes, I do in fact.
What the fuck am being charged with?

The accused tried to deceive the authorities
with a false identity and false testimony.

The defendant had an elaborate plan to blackmail us.

He tried to sexually assault me!

It was his fault we couldn't attend the 214
at the thread factory.

We'd gathered thousands of signatures for
the cause, we even had T-shirts made.

People died.

Mr. Perez left the hospital without paying the bill
which came to over $250,000 dollars.

Bloody Perez,
I bet he's in cahoots with big business.

But I'm innocent!
This is all a plot!
I'm innocent!

No, no, I don't even know this guy Perez,
but from what I've heard, he's a real bastard!

No, no, he' s always been crooked.
I've known him since he was a kid and
just look what he pulled on the Secretary,
He deserves a life sentence, don't you agree?

Don't worry, Rosita... really...
I talked to the lawyer he said,
the most I'll get is two months, tops.

Of course he'd say that.
I already had to sell the furniture to pay him!

Son of a...
They're all the same.

Don't tell me you sold the TV too?

That's not all, Juanito.

Daddy is worried because he can't pay for the wedding.

And to make things worse two of my brothers are in
the hospital because of the tamales from the wedding.

You hang in there, Rosita.

When I get out of jail, I'm going to work
real hard to help your family.

You'll see!
Everything works out, when there's love.

OK, Juan...
...because, you promised me paradise,
but this is feeling more and more like hell.

Don't say that, Rosita.
I swear, I'll keep every promise I made you!
Two months will fl y by.

Well, I hope it's only two months, Juan,
because if it's longer, the devil will take us.

"THE LIE IS EXPOSED"
"The Social Martyr is Incarcerated"
They're here, Doctor.

You won't believe it, but I think we have
a lot to thank that pathetic Perez for.

And, why is that, Doctor?

Because, thanks to him, I have found a way to
eradicate poverty in this country.

But, how, Doctor? That has been our major
concern since we took of f ice, and the truth is,
we haven't achieved anything.

In fact, poverty indexes doubled in the last 3 years.

Relax, you'll discover the answer for yourselves.

How much does each poor person cost us today?

Well, including food subsidies, education, housing and
health care programs on average, $2 dollars a day.

Multiply that by 63 million poor.

That's 126 million a day.

Times 365 days.

Approximately, 45 billion dollars a year.

And what good has it done?

Not much, to tell the truth.
Giving money to the poor is like throwing it away.

OK, now think. What would happen if instead of
giving them $2 a day, we only gave them $1?

Well, for a start, the deficit would be halved.

And what if we gave them nothing?
Nothing at all?
Nothing!

Well, then we would even have a budgetary surplus.

Exactly! Our dream come true!
Zero deficit.

Forgive me Doctor but in economic terms,
your proposal sounds excellent,
but what about the people?

They can barely live on the $2 a day as it is.

That's the solution!
What is, Doctor?

Instead of trying to eradicate poverty
We have to eradicate the poor!

After an impartial evaluation of all the evidence
and testimonies presented...

Mr. Juan Perez X. Is hereby sentenced to
three years imprisonment without parole.
Case closed.

Juanito!
Forget him! Forget him!
Juanito!

Rosita!

Juanito!
Let him rot!
No, Juanito!

Rosita!

Doctor, you couldn't imagine what it was like,
just like the movie:
We the Poor! Really!

Rosita!
My Rosita!

Three years later.

Juan Perez, to the gate with all your belongings.

"For sale. Land Value Only."

Name?

Um... Juan Perez.

Number?

What are you doing here, Perez?

"Dad". What kind of welcome is that?

You're not welcome, you bastard!

I just wanted to know where I can find my Rosa.

You really don't know?
Know what?

Or are you just playing dumb?

What happened to my missus?

I'll tell you, so you never turn up here again, asshole!

After you went to jail our whole world caved in.

We lost the house in Paradise, one of my boys died
and I almost ended up in jail too.

And poor Rosita just couldn't take all the tragedy.

I got a call one day, telling me she'd jumped off a bridge.

And now that you know, I hope your damn
conscience gives you no peace, you asshole.

Because if anyone is to blame for all this
misfortune it's you, you bastard!

My Rosita!

No admittance! Federal property.
In accordance with Article 17, homelessness,
vagrancy and begging are forbidden in this area.

My buddies!

Good evening, friend!
Wait!

Good evening.

Are you feeling alright?

No, truth is I'm not.

Would you like something to eat?

No, thank you.
Maybe some other day.

Really, we don't have much to
offer you, but we do it gladly.

No, really, but, thanks.

Here. Take this.

I hope it helps.

I can't thank you enough.
Folks like you restore one's faith in humanity.

It's not men, but the Lord God, who in His greatness
and goodness, always lights our way in the darkness.

I'd even stopped believing in him.

But now, I'm really confused.

Doubt not, my friend. God exists,
and He is always there to help us.

Thanks again and...
I will think about what you said.

Doubt not, my friend.
God exists!

Why me?
Why?

Here died...

...Juan Perez...

...who died because of...

...Lascurain...

...assholes!

My son, don't do anything foolish.

Suicide is the greatest sin of all.

Really, Father, I'd rather be dead
than go on in this miserable life.

But, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Come, my son. Come.

Come.

Come with me.

But, Father, if you only knew what I've been through...
There's no point living anymore Father.

Come and listen to the Lord's word.

Hey, Father, you don't think we overdid it?
I think he's stopped breathing.

The son of a bitch deserved it!

It's because of the likes of him that
we have less clients every day.

Guys, guys!

No, no, Relax.
This'll help.

My buddies!
Buddies!

Am I in hell?

No, you just dropped down a level.

So, have you forgiven me?

Of course we have!
You're family!

More to he point, have you forgiven me?

Of course I have, Tamale.
You're my brother.
Come here.

But, what are you guys doing down here?
I mean, don't get me wrong, but
I thought you'd all croaked.

We almost did.
It's a miracle we're still alive.

If you knew how the country has changed, buddy.

Why, what's been going on?

This fuckin' government is �for change"...
They decided overnight, that it was a crime to be poor.

And since we haven't been able to emigrate
to the States, we live here, in hiding.

And, if you don't have a bloody number like you've got
there they lock you up and throw away the key!

Jesus, that sounds really fucked!

Worse than that!

So tell us, what happened to you?

Don't remind me.
This has been the worst day of my life.

How come?
You got out of jail today.

Yes, but I just found out what happened to my Rosita.

What happened to her?

She killed herself and it's all my fault!

What are you talking about?
Rosita is alive.

She's alive?
Yeah!

She's alive! She's alive!

Then how come she never came to visit me,
when all I ever thought about was her?

No, buddy.
She did visit you, lots of times but they always
told her you were at the Islas Marias.

And just so you know, they locked her up too.

What for?

Because of your friend, Lascuraine, why else?

He wanted to take her house away but she
fought like a lioness defending her cubs.

So, they simply tossed her in the can.

Fucking Lascuraine!

And that is not all.
They wanted to take the kid away too.
But she didn't let them.

Rosita has a kid?

You didn't know that either?

We call him Little Bull.

I knew something like this would happen.
All women are the same!

Don't be an idiot!
The kid looks just like you.

Oh, so I have a son, then?
I have a son! I have a son!

What's wrong?

I'm not sure if that' s good or bad news.

You always dreamed of having a family, didn't you?

Yeah, but what kind of future can
I offer Rosita and my heir?

I'm a bloody loser and now an even bigger one!

No, you're not a loser.

The problem is, that this shitty world nor
God's will ever gives us a break.

Those who are born poor die poor.
And that's who we are, the poor.

No buddies...

It's not this bloody world or God's will.
It's all those sons of bitches running it!

Like that bastard Lascurain.

I swear it's his fault we're stuck where we are.

You're right, you know!
We're doomed to live in opulence for eternity.

Talk about unlucky!

No. It doesn't always have to be like this.
Someone just has to decide to make it change.

Sounds like you've turned communist.

Communist, my ass! Not bloody likely!
It's just a matter of taking justice into our own hands.

No, that's too dangerous.

What else can we do?

And if it all goes right,
we'll empty the rich jerk' s house.

And I know, from experience, that being rich for a
day, is worth more than a lifetime of being poor.

There's no two ways about it...
You've definitely turned into a communist.

So, what's the plan?

We'll slit that bastard Lascurain's throat!

Let's move!

Don't tell me this is your friend�s house.

Just one of them.
The bastard's got about eight
scattered all around the world.

This might be a dumb question but, does a
government job pay enough for all this?

Well... if a stooge like him, lives like this,
imagine how the guy at the top lives?

Well, they own ranches and all.
They've got us by the balls!

And philosophically speaking as soon as they get
into power they turn crooked like all the rest.

Just as crooked!

They're all the same!
Forget bloody politics!
Let's get to work!

So, what's the spider strategy?

Let me think...

I've got it!
Come over here.

Listen...
You make a pyramid, okay?
And then I'll jump the fence and
open the door for you. OK?

Here we go again...
I'll go first and I'll take all the glory and
get my picture in the paper and all!

OK, Tamale, you go first!

Up you go!
Go on!

Hang on. Let me warm up.
I don't want to get a cramp.

Come on, grandpa.
Let me help you.

Wait, wait!

Get a load of those poor bastards, man!
Will we lower the voltage for them?

No, let them fry a little.
It might knock some sense into them.

HQ, we have a Code Alpha 2 here!

Let go! Let go!
He's getting fried, man!

Code sent. Over.

The cops! The cops!
Get going! Run!

You were right, brother.
We were born to lose.

Like your friend the Minister said:
There have always been rich and poor.
And there always will be.

Well, it says in the Bible:
Blessed are the poor for ours
is the Kingdom of Heaven.

We just have to wait a bit to prove it, true?

Forget the goddamned Bible!
Today we proved beyond doubt that God doesn't exist!

You're wrong.
God does exist and I know where he lives.

"The strangler is back."

Careful of my sock!

Carlos!

What? Why so cheerful?

I bring good news and bad news.
Which do you want first?

The good, of course!

Your friend Lascurain finally resigned.
Really?
Yep.

And the bad?

Brace yourself, or you'll have a heart attack.

Because of you and that moron Perez,
the whole world is now completely screwed!

So, that's it, Arturo.
Lastly, I'd like to inform our listeners that
Dr. Lascurain, author of the famous
"Mexican Miracle" is to assume the
presidency of the World Bank.

So, that's it, Arturo.
Lastly, I'd like to inform our listeners that
Dr. Lascurain, author of the famous
"Mexican Miracle" is to assume the
presidency of the World Bank.

From where he plans to implement his revolutionary
economic theory on a global scale.

Live for ABC news from Stockholm, Sweden,
this is Carlos Guadarrama.

Thanks to that guy on the TV, who just won a
big award, you're going to have a brilliant future.

I swear, if I ever run into him,
I'm gonna kiss him!

Come in!

Hi!

Why so late, fellers?

We had a minor skirmish with the
neighbors at our new house.

But after our little chat, we didn't
hear a peep out of them.
Did we, boys?

Make yourselves at home.
Something to drink?
I've got some first class bottles of booze!

Then what are you waiting for!

Come here!
Just look at you!
A real chip off the old block!

He's the spitting image of you!
Let's hope he doesn't turn out as big an asshole.

Come on through, you lot, dinner is getting cold.

See, you guys, I told you so...
Being rich for a day, is worth more
than a lifetime of being poor

Absolutely!
Cheers!

The end

A WONDERFUL WORLD