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1
00:00:00,913 --> 00:00:04,656
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:07,094
Oh, hey, guys, come on in.
I wanna show you
J.T.'s new apartment.
3
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:08,138
Oh.
4
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,186
[GASPS]
Wow.
5
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:15,667
So? I mean,
the paint's still wet
6
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,060
in a few places,
but what do you think?
7
00:00:17,147 --> 00:00:19,323
It's fantastic.
Really.
8
00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:22,109
You'd never know this used
to be the beauty salon.
9
00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:24,981
Well, except for that drain
in the middle of the floor.
10
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:28,028
Well, you know, given J.T.'s
barnyard bathroom habits,
11
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,290
the drain might come
in handy.
12
00:00:30,813 --> 00:00:33,076
Oh, sounds like
somebody's jealous
13
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:36,340
because J.T. gets a new
apartment and she doesn't.
14
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,125
Oh, please.
15
00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:39,865
I have a dream
that when I move out
16
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:42,564
there's gonna be two
time zones, a mountain range,
17
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:45,045
and an equator
between me and this place.
18
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,438
You guys are gonna have
a lot of trouble finding me.
19
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,701
Wow, I have
the same dream,
20
00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,790
only in my dream,
we're not looking for you.
21
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:57,057
Oh, my God.
Frank's outwitting me.
22
00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,362
It is time to move out.
23
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,279
Hey, Barky,
I got my own place.
24
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,325
I'd invite you over,
but no dogs aloud.
25
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,938
Whoa, Dad.
26
00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:10,983
You like it?
Yeah, this place is awesome.
27
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:14,378
Oh, and I got
great news.
28
00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:16,163
so this place
won't cost you a penny.
29
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,555
How are you gonna do that?
30
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,514
You only have got
a part-time job.
31
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,255
Two words, room mate.
32
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,735
Uh, J.T...
33
00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:27,696
You are not allowed to move
your girlfriend in here.
34
00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:30,394
First of all, I know that,
and, second of all,
she said no.
35
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,745
So who's gonna be
your roommate?
36
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:36,096
[RICH YELLING]
Coming through!
Coming through!
37
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,794
[CRASHING]
38
00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:41,884
Sorry.
39
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:44,800
FRANK: Ooh.
40
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:59,902
Stand back,
or I'll slime you.
41
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:02,992
[JEAN-LUC YELLS]
Come back here,
you little thief.
42
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,994
This is
a high-speed chase.
43
00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,518
You better hope you have
good mileage on that thing,
44
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:10,130
because here I come.
45
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:13,045
Oh, yes.
I've got you
in a cul-de-sac now.
46
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:16,745
[JEAN-LUC YELLS]
Oh!
47
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:20,140
Oh.
[GROANS]
48
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,272
[SIGHS]
What is going on here?
49
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:25,188
Well, you see, Lilly is
an international jewel thief,
50
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,582
and I am
Jean-Luc Van Damme,
51
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:30,846
Tae kwon do master,
kickboxer,
52
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:33,762
hairdresser to the stars,
and I'm undercover,
53
00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:36,025
because she just tried
to get away
54
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,462
with a major
jewel thievery!
55
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:43,119
No, I mean,
where did all these
toys come from?
56
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,643
I thought you were just
gonna pick her up from school
and take her to the park?
57
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,777
Well, uh, yeah, I did,
but on the way home
from the park,
58
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:51,258
we decided we needed
to stop at the toy store
59
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,608
and pick up a few
small items to play with.
60
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:04,619
Lilly, go upstairs while
I talk to Jean-Luc, okay?
61
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:07,230
Great. That's where
we put the new trampoline.
62
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:08,840
The new trampoline.
63
00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:13,584
It, uh, it makes her
feel taller.Jean-Luc.
64
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:16,892
I'm just going to go
upstairs to make sure
65
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:18,328
Yeah?
Would you come down?
66
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,764
Come. Come. Come.
67
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,726
Come here.
68
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:27,816
[SIGHS]
69
00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:32,908
Are you out
of your mind?
Look at this.
70
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:35,084
Why did you buy her
all these toys?
71
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:36,955
Well, the thing is,
it wasn't really my fault.
72
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:41,699
I took her
to the toy store,
73
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:44,398
and she said,
"Okay, aisle six."
74
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,358
I know you're just trying
to be nice, Jean-Luc,
75
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,142
but you can't keep
buying her all these toys.
76
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,535
You are spoiling her.
Look at this.
77
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,971
No, I... I don't want
to spoil her.
78
00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:55,322
I... I really don't,
so I'm going to stop it.
79
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:59,456
I give you my word.
80
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:02,720
Really. No more extravagant
diversions for Lilly.
81
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:04,331
Do you promise?
Absolutely.
82
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:05,506
Okay.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
83
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,725
I'll get it.
What? Why?
84
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:10,859
Because it's for me.
It's for me.
Uh, it's my lawyer.
85
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,034
Open the door.
86
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,385
[HONKING HORN]
87
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:16,908
Hey, hey, hey.
88
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:19,694
Where's my little
pal, Lilly?
89
00:04:23,437 --> 00:04:26,875
Carol, I'd like you
to meet my attorney,
Mr. F. Lee Bozo.
90
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,006
[HONKS HORN]
91
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:36,276
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
92
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,280
Oh, man, this is
great, isn't it?
93
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,154
Is this great, or what?
Huh?
94
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,852
Is this great,
or what?Yeah, man.
95
00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:50,159
There's nothing better
than having your own place.
96
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:52,509
Hey, watch this.
97
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,775
Don't worry about it, man.
We got a drain back there.
98
00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,821
Uh, hey. Whoo!
[LAUGHS]
99
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,391
Mm. Hey, and there's
no one around here
100
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:07,698
to bust our chops,
telling us to shut up
and go to bed.
101
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:11,702
Shut up and go to bed.
102
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:15,271
Hey, Dad, no offense,
but, uh, this is our place.
103
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:18,274
You can't
just come in here
and tell us what to do.
104
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,757
Oh, yeah? Watch.
105
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:23,845
[TURNS MUSIC OFF]
106
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,589
You touch that stereo,
and I'll take it out back
107
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,068
and throw it
in the wood chipper.
108
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,901
In the real world,
my dad couldn't
just come in here
109
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:38,555
and lay down
a bunch of rules.
110
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,559
You're right.
You're absolutely right.
111
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:45,432
In the real world,
landlords lay down
all the rules.
112
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:49,349
So from now on,
I don't want you to think
of me as your dad.
113
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,829
I want you to think of me
as your landlord.
114
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,614
"Mr. Lambert, sir."
115
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,705
Come on, Dad.
No, no. No "Dad."
116
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,620
"Mr. Lambert, sir."
117
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:03,145
Now, what we will do
is draw up a lease.
118
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,799
That will do.
119
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,322
He's kidding, right?
120
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:10,805
Okay, now, number one,
121
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:15,418
the rent will be paid
on the first of the month,
122
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,464
which is tomorrow.
123
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:21,816
Number two, no loud music
after 11:00--
124
00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:24,558
11:00? What are you
thinking about?Oh, come on.
125
00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:27,822
Okay, you're right.
After 10:00pm.
126
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:32,000
And number three.
127
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:36,308
If you even think about
having a girl here overnight,
128
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,094
I think you know
what I'll put in
the wood chipper next.
129
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,192
Hello,
Mr. Landlord, sir.
130
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,759
Mrs. Landlord, sir.
Hi.
131
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:57,460
Check it out.
It's our new satellite.
132
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:04,989
Hey, did you know
that in Mexico
133
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:07,339
Well,
isn't that special.
134
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,559
Hey,
aren't those dishes
kind of expensive?
135
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,822
Oh, well, you know, see,
I'm glad you brought that up,
136
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:14,346
because, uh, we kinda had
to dip into our rent money,
137
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,480
so we're gonna be
about a hundred bucks
short this month.
138
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,917
Okay? See ya.
139
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:24,313
Wait. Whoa,
wait a minute, boys.
No, it's not okay.
140
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,446
You know,
in the real world,
there's no such thing
141
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,579
as being a hundred bucks
short on your rent.
142
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:33,757
Okay, Dad. Uh, I mean,
Mr. Landlord, sir.
143
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,282
What are you gonna do?
Evict us?
144
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,461
In a heartbeat.
145
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,464
He's such a kidder.
146
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:46,857
"In a heartbeat."
147
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:49,599
You're funny.
148
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,039
Bonjour.
Hi.
149
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,434
What the hell is that?
150
00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,914
[GASPS]
151
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,916
It's the new
Fishin' Magician.
152
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:05,180
56 different tools,
and it hangs
right on the belt.
153
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,704
Huh.
154
00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:11,316
Carol, I know I'm not
supposed to spoil Lilly,
155
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:14,624
but I bought her
just one more
tiny little present.
156
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,670
Oh, what now?
Oh, come on, Carol.
157
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,976
It's just a little something
she fell in love with.
158
00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,674
I didn't have the heart
to say no.
159
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,197
I want you to see it.
It's right out back.
160
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,459
[SIGHS]
Please?
161
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,159
because then I could use
my new Fishin' Magician.
162
00:08:33,121 --> 00:08:36,080
Look, Mommy.
I got a pony.
163
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,518
Well, isn't that great?
JEAN-LUC: Well, yeah.
164
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:41,521
Well, Frank, I hope
that Fishin' Magician
has a pooper scooper.
165
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:46,700
Jean-Luc, could you
come in the kitchen
for a minute, please?
166
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,571
Uh, actually,
I'm rather busy.Right now.
167
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,619
[PONY SNORTS]
168
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:02,454
A pony?
169
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,719
Well, I, uh...
170
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,242
but you have
to draw the line somewhere.
171
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,551
Jean-Luc, I know that you
wanna be the fun uncle,
172
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,771
but you can't buy Lilly
everything she wants.
173
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,773
I know.
I know I shouldn't do it.
174
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,732
But it's just...
175
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,951
it's just really hard
for me to say no to Dani.
176
00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:25,216
Dani?
What?
177
00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:27,262
You said "Dani."
That's your daughter's name.
178
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,354
[GASPS]
Oh.
179
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:36,880
Oh, that's why
you've been buying
Lilly all these gifts.
180
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,621
'Cause you're missing Dani.
181
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,144
What...
What are you saying?
182
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:42,973
Are you saying that I am
using your daughter
183
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,846
as an emotional substitute
for my own daughter
184
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,717
just because
I am broken up inside
185
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,024
that I cannot see Dani,
the light of my life,
186
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,461
on her birthday,
which happens to be
this weekend,
187
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:54,289
because the divorce
settlement stipulates that
188
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,899
I cannot see her
until Christmas?
189
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:59,076
Well, you are wrong.
Oh, are you wrong.
190
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,122
I laugh
at your wrongness.
191
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,298
[LAUGHS]
192
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:10,348
[SOBBING]
193
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:19,270
Pan pizza for every meal.
This is the life!
194
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:22,012
Hey, listen,
you're not gonna believe
what I found out today.
195
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,624
We actually
have to pay for water.
196
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:27,235
No free water?
When did that start?
197
00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:28,845
[SCOFFS] I don't know.
Next thing you know,
198
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,542
we're gonna be paying
for electricity too.
199
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:35,330
What's all our stuff doing
in the middle of the yard?
200
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:38,115
Oh, maybe Dad's
putting in that new
Jacuzzi I asked for.
201
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,290
Ooh.
202
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:41,031
Hey.
Hey, there's a note.
203
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,469
[CLEARS THROAT]
204
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:47,777
"Dear tenants,
in view of the fact that
you have not paid the rent,
205
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:51,389
"you are hereby evicted.
The Management.
206
00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:53,696
"P.S., don't try getting back
in the house, either.
207
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:57,265
"The locks have been
changed, and trespassers
will be shot on sight."
208
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:04,228
Oh, yeah, right.
209
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,666
[THUNDER CRASHES]
210
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,112
It looks like rain.
211
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,201
This is bad.
212
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:28,252
[KEYS JANGLE]
213
00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:30,472
He actually
did change the locks.What? Hey!
214
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:31,821
Hey!
Let us in!
215
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,214
Let us in!
Let us in!
216
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,042
Hey, guys.
How's it going?
217
00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:37,566
Lousy.
We're stuck out here
in the rain. Let us in!
218
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,133
Oh... Oh, I can't.
219
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:44,268
Why not?
220
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,314
Have fun out there
in the real world.
221
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:06,508
You know, I'm starting
to think your dad
222
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:08,771
was serious
about this eviction thing.
223
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,644
You think?
224
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,647
We gotta get him
to let us back in the house.
225
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,607
Look, let's just tell him
what he wants to hear,
226
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:21,044
we were wrong, he was right,
227
00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:23,960
we learned our lesson,
yada, yada, yada.
228
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:29,183
Then maybe he'll let us
back in the house
229
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,358
Here he comes!
230
00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:36,103
Whoa-ho!
231
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:40,063
Hey, guys.
How about this rain, huh?
232
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:43,763
Boy, I'll tell ya,
it's weather like this
that makes you say,
233
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:46,200
"Thank God I have
a roof over my head."
234
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:49,072
Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.
235
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:56,036
We were wrong.
You were right.
236
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:57,646
We learned our lesson.
237
00:12:57,733 --> 00:13:00,083
Yada, yada, yada.
Now let us back in the house!
238
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:04,305
Well, as touching
as that apology was, son,
239
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,481
there's only one way
you're getting back inside,
240
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,352
and that's
to pay the rent.
241
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,920
But we don't have it.
What are we supposed to do?
242
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,661
Enjoy the great outdoors.
243
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,315
BOTH: Hey!
244
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:16,970
[THUNDER BOOMS]
Get back! Get back!
245
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,363
[GROANS]
246
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,582
I get the house.
No!
247
00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:21,801
I get the house!
248
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,112
You can have the house.
You can have the house.
249
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:46,260
[KNOCKING]
250
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,740
Come on, let us in.
Dad, let us in!
251
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,481
Come on!
I can't feel my feet!
252
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,483
Please. Please!
253
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,662
Oh, Dana!
Dana! Dana!
254
00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:59,490
Sweetie! Sweetie!
Let us in.
255
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,538
What is going on?
What?
256
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,632
Hey, you want a muffin?
These are great.
257
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:11,720
Thanks.
258
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:17,291
Whoa, look at this.
259
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,119
Dana, please!
260
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:20,685
I've got ice in my nose!
261
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,820
You know what, Frank?
I'm sorry.
262
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,953
I can't stand to see 'em
suffer like this.
263
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,650
Thank you, sweetie.
Thank you so much.
264
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:29,869
I love you--
265
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:32,872
There. That's better.
266
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,659
Dana! Dana, please!
Dana!
267
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:39,487
I'm gonna die out here!
268
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,752
You know what, Frank?
We really can't let them die.
269
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:46,363
Why not?
270
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,627
Well, you know, there'll
be police and coroners
and an inquisition,
271
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:52,935
and I have midterms
coming up. I don't have
time for that kind of thing.
272
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:55,720
Okay, I'll see if I can
work something out.
Let 'em in.
273
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,201
Oh!
Yes!
274
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:01,291
Oh!
275
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,165
Oh, God.
276
00:15:06,557 --> 00:15:07,776
[GROANS]
277
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,693
Okay, Dad,
we get the point.
278
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:15,697
We have to pay
the rent on time.
279
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:16,872
So we don't have
the money.
280
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,005
So how
can we fix this?
281
00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:22,138
Well, I think
I have an idea.
282
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:24,401
I'd like to meet 'em
in J.T. and Rich's
apartment, please?
283
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:29,015
[SIGHS]
284
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:33,758
Either there's a rock
in my shoe or my big
toe just fell off.
285
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,116
Okay, guys.
286
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:44,769
Listen,
everybody has times
287
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,033
when they run
a little short on cash.
288
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,948
But that's when
you gotta get creative
289
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,080
and tap into your
personal assets.
290
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,910
You mean, like, become
a gigolo and have women
291
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,259
pay for the privilege
of dating me?
292
00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:04,224
Well, that's
a good thought, son,
293
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:08,924
What's up, Dad?
294
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,970
Low, low prices.
Everything must go.
295
00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:17,019
Mark, how much
money do you have
in your birthday fund?
296
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,803
Fifty bucks.
Congratulations.
297
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,109
You just
bought yourself a TV.
298
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,806
All right. Yeah!
299
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:26,115
Hey, that's my VCR.
Ah, that's included.
300
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:31,381
Well, make me an offer.
301
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,731
Forty bucks.
Forty bucks? Are you insane?
302
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:35,342
This thing's worth
at least a hundred.
303
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,955
Sold for $30.
Take it away, little lady.
304
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:44,786
Wow.
This is going swell.
305
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:48,355
Hey, how much for your
baseball card collection?
306
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:51,488
Dad,
it took me 15 years
307
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:54,100
to put that collection
together. It's priceless.
308
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,711
How about
I'll give you ten bucks?
309
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:59,757
No way!
It's the single most
important thing in my life!
310
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:02,543
Okay, 20.
But I'm taking your guitar.
311
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,545
Sold for $20.
Yes!
312
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,725
Well, I think
this went rather well.
313
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:13,293
Ugh. I think
we been hosed.
314
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:14,642
Dad, you're cold.
315
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:18,515
Okay. You're right.
316
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:22,258
I'm your father,
you're my son,
and I love you.
317
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:25,740
And I should
cut you more slack.
Yada, yada, yada.
318
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,005
Welcome to the real world.
319
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,318
Bonjour.
320
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:41,712
Lilly? Lilly, are you ready
to go to the circus?
321
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:46,021
Your ringmaster of fun
has arrived.
322
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:51,070
Oh, uh, Jean-Luc.
323
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:55,596
and, um, Lilly's not going
to the circus with you.
I'm going to take her.
324
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:59,948
Carol, I know that
I bought her too many toys,
but please don't do this.
325
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:02,907
Please don't do this.
I'm really looking forward
to taking her to the circus.
326
00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:05,214
I know, I know, I know,
but I really think that
what I have planned
327
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,521
you'll like just as much,
okay? Now, trust me.
Sit here.
328
00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:09,349
Okay.
329
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,534
Bonjour.
330
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,493
Dani?
331
00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:28,368
Oh, Dani.
332
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:31,110
Dani, I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
333
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:32,676
Are you really here?
334
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:34,809
Oui, oui.
335
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,724
Did you hear that?
She said, "Oui, oui."
336
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,247
I'm so happy.
337
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,293
I could just go "oui, oui"
all day long.
338
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,123
That come out wrong.
339
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,736
Ah, I missed you
so much.
340
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,433
I missed you too,
Papa.
341
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,218
How did you get here?
342
00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:54,829
Well, when I saw how much
you were missing Danielle,
343
00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:57,745
I just, um,
took it upon myself
344
00:18:57,832 --> 00:19:02,315
to call your ex-wife
and talk to her, you know,
mother to mother.
345
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:04,708
I get to spend the whole
weekend with you.
346
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,232
The whole weekend.
347
00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:10,279
Well, I'm, uh,
going to go upstairs
and get Lilly.
348
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:13,674
Carol.
Yeah?
349
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:17,286
There are no words
I can say to thank you
enough for this.
350
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:21,072
Yeah, well, seeing you two
together is thanks enough.
351
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:29,255
Look at you. Look at you.
Look how much
you have grown.
352
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,561
The last time I saw you
you were a petit biscuit,
353
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:33,998
and now you are
an entire croissant.
354
00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:35,870
Thank you, Papa.
355
00:19:35,957 --> 00:19:37,524
Dani, come and sit down.
356
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,178
Are you tired
from your flight?
357
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:44,444
In fact, I am just passing
my second wind.
358
00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:50,754
That came out wrong.
359
00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:54,976
Oh, mon coeur.
360
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:57,196
You are the apple
of your papa's ear.
361
00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,460
What does that mean?
362
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,940
I don't know.
363
00:20:03,027 --> 00:20:05,726
It just means
that I love you
very, very much.
364
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,823
Thank you for helping me
fold the laundry.
365
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:17,868
Oh, nothing's too good
for my honey bunny.
366
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,351
Hey, I'm eating here.
367
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:26,790
When are you not eating?
368
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,055
Go fetch the paper,
Barky.
369
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,625
Ooh.
Hey, these are Dana's.
370
00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:37,410
She must have dropped 'em.
I better go give 'em
back to her.
371
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:43,851
Hey, Mr. L.
Hey, Ri... Uh, hey, Rich?
372
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:52,990
One quick question, son.
373
00:20:53,077 --> 00:21:01,042
Oh, you mean these?
374
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,478
Allow me to clarify that.
375
00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:11,661
Allow me
to clarify that further.
376
00:21:15,012 --> 00:21:16,840
she was not wearing
this underwear.
377
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,458
Allow me to modify
my recent clarification.
378
00:21:28,112 --> 00:21:30,376
You hold these,
379
00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:36,730
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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