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1
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:07,137
Hi, Daddy. Guess what
I learned today?
2
00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:08,747
Well, what did
you learn, honey?
3
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,358
I'm gay!
4
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:18,148
Well, now,
what makes you say that?
5
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:21,717
Well, I'm a girl,
and Mommy's a girl,
6
00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:24,024
and I love Mommy.
So I'm gay.
7
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:28,115
Lilly, what you're talking
about here, honey,
8
00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:30,508
is when one girl
wants to marry another girl.
9
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,597
And you don't wanna
marry Mommy, do you?
10
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:35,731
No, of course not.
I wanna marry you!
11
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,823
Boy, that's a whole
other conversation.
12
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,173
Uh, listen,
why don't you just
13
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:47,003
go sit on the front
porch and wait for
the ice cream man, okay?
14
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:50,137
Yippie, I get ice cream!
Yippie, I get ice cream!
15
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:53,923
Hey, Dad.
Adios, Señor L.
16
00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,794
Yeah, we'll see you
in a week or so,
we're going to Mexico.
17
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,579
Hey! Oh! Wait!
18
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:05,152
before you drive
2,000 miles to
a foreign country?
19
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,545
Why? We're in college.
We're kinda like adults.
20
00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:10,635
[SCOFFS] Yeah,
if there was a war,
we could be drafted.
21
00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:14,161
If there was a war,
I'd volunteer
the both of you.
22
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,467
Dad, it's no big deal.
We're gonna get
into Rich's car,
23
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:20,863
take turns driving,
and 37 hours later,
boom, we're in Mexico.
24
00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:23,474
Well, what do you plan
on doing down there?
25
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:26,042
I don't know.
Buy a sombrero,
eat a burrito.
26
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,652
You can do
all that at Kmart.
27
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:31,308
Mr. L, come on,
cut us some slack.
28
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,354
Listen, I just don't think
that you two are ready
29
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,399
to handle a trip like that
on your own.
30
00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,271
Come on, Dad,
I can handle things
on my own.
31
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,186
And I'd like the chance
to prove it to you.
32
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:41,666
Son, listen...
Dad, I'm almost 20 years old.
33
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:43,451
You gotta let me
grow up sometime.
34
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,237
I guess you deserve
a chance to prove it.
35
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:49,065
You can go.
Awesome, Mr. L!
36
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:50,371
Thank you!
You won't regret it!
37
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:51,502
We know exactly
what we're doing.
38
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,200
I don't think
you do, Rich.
39
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:56,551
Sorry.
40
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:58,727
So, do you know how
to get to Mexico?
41
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,207
Oh, we'll just start
driving south.
42
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,209
It's pretty big.
We'll find it.Yes.
43
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:13,002
[LOW RIDERBY WAR
PLAYING ON RADIO]
44
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,312
♪ All my friends ♪
45
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,531
Man, it doesn't get
any better than this, huh?
46
00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:23,404
Two guys on the open road
heading for Mexico.
47
00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:26,668
Yeah! This is what
being a man is all about.
48
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:29,192
JT: Yeah!
Pass me those Gummi Bears.
49
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,676
Speaking of being a man,
a buddy at school
50
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,505
gave me this brochure
for a place outside Tejada
51
00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:40,682
called Club Cha-Chas.
52
00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:43,293
Check it out.
Pretty hot senoritas,huh?
53
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:46,383
Yeah. No! No! I...
54
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:49,647
I can't go to a strip joint,
man, I'm going out with Dana.
55
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:53,521
Come on, man,
it's not just a strip club.
It's a cultural center.
56
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,914
I mean, all the table dancers
are bilingual.
57
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:58,221
And they serve beers
from all around the world.
58
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,397
I...I don't know, J.T.
59
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,356
I just wouldn't
feel comfortable.Come on, man.
60
00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,488
I'm just asking you to do
a little window shopping.
61
00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:06,360
You don't have
to buy anything.
62
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:09,101
Just, uh,
admire the goods.
63
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,409
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt
to do a little browsing.
64
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,933
Yeah! Now you're
talking like a man!
65
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:16,544
Club Cha-Cha,
here we come!
66
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:19,068
We are there!
Yes!
67
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:21,157
Ah-ha!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
68
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,509
Dana, what are you
doing back there?
69
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,424
I stowed away
to keep you
70
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,861
from dragging my boyfriend
through the gutter.
71
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:32,690
If anybody's gonna do that,
it's gonna be me.
72
00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:34,126
I can't believe
you're spying on me.
73
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,128
This stinks.
You don't trust me?
74
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,348
I trust you, except when
you're under the influence
75
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,176
of Captain Hormone.
76
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,789
I've had to go to
the bathroom since Arkansas.
77
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:50,186
[RAIN PATTERING]
78
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,798
I'll see you guys later.
I'm going to the mall.
79
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,583
Oh, great.
Hey, Karen.
80
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:58,499
Can you drop Mark
and I off at the library
on your way?
81
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:01,066
Al, it's raining.
Once I leave the house,
82
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,765
I only have a 26-minute window
before my hair frizzes.
83
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:06,855
Oh, right.
84
00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:08,596
How inconsiderate
of me.
85
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:11,686
Look, why don't you just
drive straight to the mall,
86
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,688
and Mark and I can walk
in the pouring rain
87
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,255
and get soaked
to the bone.
88
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,257
Okay. Bye.
89
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:21,826
I don't think she gets
the concept of sarcasm.
90
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,133
Sorry, Dad, need this.
91
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:33,098
Oh, look, honey.
92
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,275
no kids allowed.
Let's go.
93
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,583
I already called.
It's taken.
94
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,630
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
95
00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:51,769
[SPEAKS FRENCH]
96
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:54,903
It is a fresh,
homemade French baguette.
97
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:57,949
Wait until you see
how crispy and crunchy it is.
98
00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,908
Oh, very nice...
99
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,176
Okay, bag the baguette.
100
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:08,873
Anyone for
matzo ball soup?
101
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,398
[SIGHS]
102
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,661
Jean-Luc,
you are soaking wet.
103
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:15,271
Really?
I hadn't noticed.
104
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:17,578
Well, you know,
it is raining.
105
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,971
That's why I fashioned this
impromptu turban
106
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:23,105
and dashing
Bedouin cloak.
107
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:26,282
Hey, is that the sports
section that you got
on your head there?
108
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:27,849
Yeah, knock
yourself out, baby.
109
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,596
Why didn't you drive?
I don't know how to drive.
110
00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:40,383
You don't know
how to drive?
111
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,516
Yeah, but I just thought
it was because you're French.
112
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:45,345
No, I don't shower
because I am French, but...
113
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:50,219
No, you know, I always lived
in the big city like New York,
114
00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:52,221
where you can take
the taxi everywhere.
115
00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:55,572
And, you know,
in Port Washington,
you cannot get a taxi.
116
00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:58,183
So I take the "bicyclette,"
and I get all wet.
117
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:03,798
It's like a wet bad boy look,
you know what I'm saying?
118
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,583
Listen to me, bad boy.
119
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:07,976
If you're gonna live here
in Wisconsin,
120
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:12,241
you have to learn
how to drive.
121
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:14,548
you're gonna freeze
your...tires off.
122
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,378
Hey, look.
Look it right here.
123
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,249
Look it right here.
Here's a driving school.
124
00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,164
Right there, huh?
Oh, don't be silly.
125
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,731
You don't wanna give
your money to strangers.
126
00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:25,210
Frank will teach you
how to drive.
127
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,387
Ooh! That's a wonderful
idea, honey.
128
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,389
I just have one
small little change.
129
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,086
What's that?
You teach him.
130
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,350
Well, yeah, I will.
131
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:37,135
Well, I don't feel
too passed around.
132
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,616
No, no, no, no, really.
I would love to teach you
how to drive.
133
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:43,228
Really?
Yes.
134
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:44,882
I would love to be
taught by a woman
135
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,363
who has been around the block
as many times as you have.
136
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,194
That...that
come out wrong.
137
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,810
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
138
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:04,206
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
139
00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,339
[BELCHES]
Oh, man!
140
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:11,605
Fifteen burritos,
six tacos, and a churro,
141
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,737
and it's only gonna
cost us two bucks?
142
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,913
This a great country
or what, man, huh?
143
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,829
Oh, yeah. I'm telling ya,
you know what?
144
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,570
I bet I could get a job
down here as a bullfighter.
145
00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:21,919
We could move down here
full time, huh?
146
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:23,355
What do you think
about that, Dana?
147
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,314
Hmm, let me see.
148
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:27,272
Move to a dusty border town
149
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:29,623
and watch soap operas
in Spanish
150
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:33,627
while my boyfriend seeks
employment as a matador.
151
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:36,847
Any chance I can get
a job as a stripper
in a local beer joint?
152
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:40,938
You'd do that for me?
153
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,247
I'd hit you in the head
with a stick,
154
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,162
but I'm afraid,
candy would spill out.
155
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,213
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna take a walk
156
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,042
while you two finish
your pork fest.
157
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,177
Mas burritos,
muchachos?
158
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:05,572
Oh, no, thanks, man.
Five pounds of pork
is my limit.
159
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:07,312
Yeah, me, too.
How much do we owe you?
160
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:10,968
Uh, that's $4.00.
Thirty-two pesos.
161
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,404
Pay the man, Rich.
162
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:16,191
I don't have any money.
[CHUCKLES]
163
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:18,454
I mean, I do.
I gave all mine to Dana.
164
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:22,066
Well, I don't have
any money either.
165
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,851
Check it out,
you blow into its butt.
166
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:25,809
[WHISTLES]
167
00:08:33,425 --> 00:08:34,949
Señor.
Si.
168
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:37,821
Uh, un small-o problem-o.
169
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:41,085
Uh, my girlfriend-o,
she has all our dinero.
170
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:43,523
And, uh, she's just
down the street-o.
171
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,133
We're gonna go get it
and be right back.
172
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,656
Yeah, be right back.
Uno momento.Right back.
173
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,833
Un momento.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
174
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,313
Whoa, wait,
we're coming right back.
175
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,836
What's the trouble here?
176
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:55,752
These banditos
ate 15 burritos each.
177
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,667
And they tried to run off
without paying.
178
00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,800
Fifteen burritos each?
Si.
179
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,715
Rest assured
they will pay later.
180
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,070
Officer, really,
we weren't trying
to get away.
181
00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:10,724
We're just going to go get
my sister, get the money,
182
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,552
and she's across the street.
We'll be right back.[SCOFFS]
183
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:13,988
You believe me,
don't you?
184
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,471
after the way
you're treating us,
there is no way
185
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,604
I'm moving down here
and becoming a bullfighter!
186
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:23,258
Got that? Hey!
Don't push me.
187
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:25,042
[YELLING IN SPANISH]
188
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,750
J.T., we gotta
get outta here, man.
189
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:42,538
You know, I hear what happens
in these Mexican jails.
190
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,889
Yeah, and how
is that different
from dating Dana?
191
00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:52,548
Wow, Microsoft closed at 138.
192
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:55,116
Hope you boys bought in
at 15 like I did.
193
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,339
Well, well, well.
194
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:04,778
Imagine my surprise
when I went back to
the taco stand,
195
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,649
now known as
the scene of the crime,
196
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:09,086
only to find that
my two escorts
197
00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:11,698
have been hauled off
for grand theft burrito.
198
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,048
May I help you?
199
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:17,921
Yes, I'm here to spring
Butch and Sundance.
200
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:20,228
Look, Barky, just pay the man
so we can get out of here.
201
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,056
We don't need
any of your lip.
202
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,623
How much for
just the little one?
203
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,670
No, no, no.
Take them both.
204
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,106
We have enough
problems down here
205
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,500
without you Americans
sending us your lowlifes.
206
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,286
Can't argue with that.
207
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:36,940
So, how much
to get 'em out?
208
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:39,421
The food was $4 American
209
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:42,119
plus there is
an additional $25 fine.
210
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,646
They broke the law.
The penalty is $25.
211
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,388
Ah. I get it.
212
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:51,999
You're looking for a bribe.
213
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,567
[SCOFFS] Yeah, should
I just give it to you,
214
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,265
or do you wanna pretend
to shake hands
215
00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:58,701
and I'll slip it
into your palm?
216
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,096
Now, listen, señorita--
217
00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:03,750
I mean, who do you think
you're dealing with here?
218
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,621
Just some cute
little blonde?
219
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,627
Listen here.
220
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:15,675
I am an American citizen,
and I have rights.
221
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:18,242
$25, please, and no lip.
222
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,810
And maybe I will release
the prisoners.
223
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:24,684
[SCOFFS]
224
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:27,425
This is blackmail.
Well, let me tell you,
225
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,950
I am from the United
States of America.
226
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:32,692
Yeah, you know that
big country to the norte?
227
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,956
Um, sweetheart...
228
00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:38,741
Look,
I'll tell you what.
229
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:43,746
I will give you $5 American
and we'll call it a gratuity.
230
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,530
All right?
How's that, senor?
231
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:53,190
Okay, I have
reconsidered
232
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:55,627
and would like to pay
the $25 fine.
233
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,283
Now it's $225.
234
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,592
Excuse me?
235
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,726
$25 for
the two Stooges.
236
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:10,338
Plus an additional $200
for you trying to bribe me.
237
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:14,081
We don't have
that kind of money.
238
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:17,258
Well, in that case,
enjoy your stay in Mexico.
239
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:24,439
[PHONE RINGING]
[VIDEO GAME PLAYING]
240
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:29,444
Answer it.
I'm busy.
241
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:31,402
Besides, they'll call back.
242
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,404
Answer it,
or I will pound you.
243
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:35,667
[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
244
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:40,542
Hello?
245
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,718
They're not here.
Okay, well, listen, okay?
246
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:45,982
This is very important.
Listen very carefully.
247
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,897
Tell Dad and Carol
that we're okay
248
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:50,813
but we're in jail
in Tejada, Mexico, okay?
249
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:55,165
But we need them to wire us
$225 to get us out, okay?
250
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,514
Uh-huh. Got it.
[VIDEO GAME PLAYING]
251
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,429
[EXPLOSION ON TV]
252
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,605
Whoa, awesome
decapitation.
253
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:03,521
Gotta go.
254
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,220
[DIAL TONE]
255
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,139
Okay, Jean-Luc.
It's your turn.
256
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:15,229
[SCREAMS]
257
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,839
I'm a little bit nervous.
[HONKS HORN]
258
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,885
Oh, sorry.
No, stop. Don't be nervous.
259
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,712
Here, let me just
get your seat belt.
260
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,279
Everything's
going to be fine.
261
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,412
It'll be just like...
Turn those off.
262
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,544
It'll be just like
we practiced in the backyard.
263
00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:29,156
Except now you won't be
driving a picnic table.
264
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,158
No, no paper plate
for a steering wheel.
265
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:33,116
No.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
266
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,640
Okay, here we go.
267
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:38,121
[EXHALES] Okay.
268
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:41,037
That's real good.
Real good.
269
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,779
Stay calm.
Oh, oh, oh, look at moi!
270
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:44,998
Look at moi!
Okay.
271
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:46,782
I'm driving!
I'm driving!
272
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,392
You're doing really well.
Ah, yeah.
273
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:51,395
I'm born to be wild.
Yes. Wild.
274
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,876
♪ Get your motor running
275
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:57,314
♪ Head out on the highway
276
00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:59,708
♪ Looking for adventure
277
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:02,711
♪ In whatever comes my way
278
00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:06,323
♪ Born to be wild ♪
279
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:09,587
Jean-Luc! Jean-Luc,
you must, you must...Sorry.
280
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:11,851
...keep both hands on the
steering wheel at all times.I'm sorry.
281
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,983
That's a good safety tip.
Look straight ahead.
Yes, it is.
282
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:15,637
Look straight ahead.
That's a good
safety tip, yeah.
283
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:17,334
You know what,
I'm... I'm liking this.Yes.
284
00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:19,119
Super fantastic.
It's good.
285
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:22,383
It's good.
I feel good.
286
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,080
All right, let's turn right
at the next corner.
287
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:26,517
Okay, Coach.
Okay. Okay.
288
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,606
CAROL: No, no, no!
[HORNS HONKING]
289
00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:32,175
[TIRES SCREECHING]
290
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,177
Watch it!
That was easy.
291
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:36,397
What are you doing?
I said turn right.
292
00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:39,443
I did turn right.
No! You turned left.
That's left.
293
00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:41,489
Well, I'll be
a monkey's uncle. Monkey's uncle.
294
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:44,492
Uh-oh, it's coming back.
What? What?
295
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:47,408
My dyslexia.
Dyslexia? You're dyslexic?
296
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,627
Well, only for
left and right. Oh, God.
297
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:53,544
All right,
all right, all right.
298
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:55,633
Okay, here comes
an intersection
with a light.
299
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,114
You know what to do, right?
[CHUCKLES]
300
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:01,030
I sure do.
Okay.
301
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:02,727
What are you doing?
[CAR ACCELERATES]
302
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,428
[HORNS HONKING]
303
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:11,475
Learn how to drive!
304
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,042
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
305
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:14,739
It was green,
just like my shirt.
306
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,611
Your shirt is red!
307
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:21,181
[CAROL SIGHS]
308
00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:24,662
You know, maybe...maybe
I should get my eyes checked.
309
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:27,361
Maybe? Maybe?
You just ran a red light.
310
00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,841
People are driving
on the sidewalk to avoid you.Carol. Carol. Carol.
311
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,495
Are you insane?
Carol. Carol!
312
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:36,022
Do not yell at me.
Why not?
313
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:38,633
Oh, well, that is
the stupidest thing--Carol, you have to go away!
314
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,765
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
Go away, Carol! Go away!
315
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,681
[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]
[HORN HONKING]
316
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:49,209
[TIRES SCREECHING]
317
00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:53,517
JEAN-LUC: I think
that went well.
318
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:03,701
Hey, Dad, uh,
how's Carol?
319
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,181
I offered to give her
a lift home.
320
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,053
She said
she wanted to walk.
321
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:09,838
Didn't... Didn't wanna be
in a moving vehicle quite yet.
322
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:16,453
Have you heard from J.T.?
323
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,586
What's for dinner?
Spaghetti.
324
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,762
You know, they should've
called by now.
325
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:24,374
I don't like spaghetti.
326
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,376
I'm worried about
Rich and J.T. and Dana.
327
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:28,117
They're down somewhere
in Mexico.
328
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,119
Oh, they're fine.
They're in jail.
329
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,515
Can I have
a hot dog instead?
330
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,827
What do you mean?
331
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,091
I like hot dogs
better than I do spaghetti.
332
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:52,315
Oh, they called and told me
to give you a message.
333
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:53,838
Did I forget to tell you?
334
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:58,408
Yes. Now, what's
the message?
335
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,674
It's something about
wiring money to some
town in Mexico.
336
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:10,290
What town?
337
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:12,988
I don't know.
I think it was
something Spanish.
338
00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:18,167
Okay, okay.
Juarez?
339
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,952
Uh, Nogales?
Veracruz?
340
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,867
Ensenada?
Tejada?
341
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,305
Tejada. That's it, Tejada.
Oh!
342
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,525
What's he
so cranked up about?
343
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,269
Yeah, operator,
this is an emergency.
344
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:34,879
Would you connect me
with the police station
345
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:37,317
in Tejada,
Mexico, please?
346
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,449
I'm going out to shoot
hoops till dinner.
347
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:41,321
Oh, by the way,
Grandma called last Thursday.
348
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,453
She's stuck at the airport
and needs a ride home.
349
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,067
She said she'd wait
out on the curb for you.
350
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:55,422
Am I the only kid
in this family that's
not a nitwit?
351
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:57,467
[LAUGHS]
Yeah.
352
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,081
Here, dinner.
353
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:07,086
Uh, I'm sorry.
I don't eat meat.
354
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:11,394
Do you have
a vegetarian platter?
355
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:19,054
Would you like that with
cottage cheese or yogurt?
356
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,405
Well, is it
non-fat yogurt?
357
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,017
It's non-existent yogurt.
358
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,282
[PHONE RINGING]
359
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:33,460
Tejada Hilton.
360
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:36,158
No, no, no. Don't
hang up. You called
the right number.
361
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,378
Yeah, listen,
my name is Frank Lambert.
362
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:41,859
I'm looking for
some kids, and I think
they're in your jail.
363
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:44,166
Two goofy guys
and a mouthy blonde?
364
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:47,561
That'd be them.
365
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,131
They left a food stand
without paying.
366
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,567
That'd be the guys.
367
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:56,265
Then they tried to bribe
an officer of the law.
368
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,658
There's the mouthy blond.
369
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:02,141
$225 dollars will clear
the whole thing up.
370
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,621
I will wire the money
right away, okay?
371
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:07,102
Yeah, but listen,
don't tell 'em quite yet.
372
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,365
I wanna make 'em
sweat a little.
373
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:10,801
Bless you for that, sir.
374
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,111
J.T., your father
would like to speak to you.
375
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,026
Oh, thank God.
376
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,202
Dad, oh, God,
thank God you called.
377
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,726
Yeah, we need you to wire us
the money right away.
378
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:25,555
Yeah, J.T., you know,
I've been thinking about this.
379
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,949
Now, isn't this
a perfect opportunity for you
380
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:30,908
to prove to me that you don't
need my help much anymore?
381
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:34,347
I mean, after all,
you are kind of like an adult.
382
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:39,439
You're not gonna throw that
in my face, are you?
383
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,832
Oh, son, I think
we have a bad connection.
384
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:45,488
But, Dad, Dad,
this wasn't my fault.
385
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,230
Yeah, no, I know
you're trying to
apologize to me, son,
386
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:51,190
and I just love you for
that, but I'm having
trouble hearing you.
387
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:52,278
[PHONE BEEPS]
388
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:57,457
He's gonna call back.
389
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:04,290
[PHONE BEEPS]
Hello.
390
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:05,595
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
391
00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:07,554
From now on,
I'm gonna listen to you.
392
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:10,644
I think we have a much
better connection now, son.
393
00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:14,256
I'm wiring the money.
Oh, thanks a lot, Dad.
394
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,911
Well, listen, as long
as we're this far south,
395
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,478
could you wire us
an extra $500?
396
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,088
We'd like to go down
to Rio for Carnival.
397
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,394
[DIAL TONE]
398
00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,093
Hello?
399
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,797
$825 dollars
to fix the car.
400
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:36,583
Yeah, well, I can't
believe our insurance
won't pay for this.
401
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:40,848
Yeah, go figure.
402
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:43,416
foreign drivers
who freak out
behind the wheel.
403
00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:49,248
Hola, mi familia.
Hola,Lamberts.
404
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,772
Hola, los banditos.
405
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:54,949
Oh, man, am I starving.
Oh, me, too.
406
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,778
You know, Dad,
after being in jail,
407
00:20:57,865 --> 00:20:59,736
we did a lot of thinking
on our long ride home.
408
00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:02,391
Yes, sir, it was
a very important
learning experience.
409
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:05,351
Yeah, I think
we really matured a lot
in the last couple days.
410
00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:07,309
Yeah.
Well, that's great.
Where's Dana?
411
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:09,529
Uh, she's asleep
in the backseat.
412
00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:10,791
No, she's not.
413
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:18,407
Oh, my God, we left her
at the last rest stop.
414
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,496
Oh, man, we're gonna
have to go get her.
415
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:21,932
Right after
we finish lunch.
416
00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:29,505
By the way,
Grandpa called last week.
417
00:21:29,592 --> 00:21:30,854
He wanted to know
if you've seen Grandma.
418
00:21:34,031 --> 00:21:37,034
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
31579
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