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[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:07,094
Ah.
3
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:09,661
Is today a beautiful day
or what?
4
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:12,229
This kind of day
just makes you
glad to be alive, don't it?
5
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,404
[CHUCKLES]
6
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:18,018
Hey there, sunshine.
How'd your day go today?
7
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,889
Men are scum.
8
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:23,240
Do you hear me? Scum, scum!
9
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:28,202
Problems on the love boat, Dana?
10
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:31,857
I show up for my date
15 minutes early,
and I catch him
11
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,556
making out with Katie Boyce.
12
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:36,384
I hate men.
13
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,735
Hey, well, cheer up,
Dana, man! Heh.
14
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,824
Saturday is Valentine's Day.
15
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,043
DANA: Shut up!
16
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:49,788
[SCREAMING]
17
00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:51,921
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
18
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,314
MAN:
♪ The dream got broken
19
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,403
♪ Seemed like all was lost
20
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,057
♪ What would be the future?
21
00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,754
♪ Could you pay the cost?
22
00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,016
♪ You wonder
23
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,757
♪ Will there ever be
24
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,628
♪ A second time around?
25
00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,067
WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
26
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,633
♪ When the tears are over
27
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,114
♪ And the moment has come
28
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:14,726
♪ Say, "My Lord
I think I found someone"
29
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,511
♪ You know it will be better
30
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:18,121
♪ 'Cause you're
putting it together
31
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,689
♪ For the second time around
32
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,915
ALL:
♪ Step by step, day by day
33
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,221
WOMAN:
♪ Day by day
34
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:32,614
ALL:
♪ A fresh start over
35
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:34,572
♪ A different hand to play
36
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:36,400
♪ The deeper we fall
37
00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:39,011
♪ The stronger we stay
38
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,883
WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better
39
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,494
MAN:
♪ Second time around ♪
40
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:06,909
Oh, J.T.
41
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:13,133
Wait till you see the watch
that I got Carol
42
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,396
for Valentine's Day.
She is gonna flip.
43
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,484
Check it out.
44
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:17,833
[CHUCKLING]
45
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,662
Whoa! Man! A Swiss Roulette?
46
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,142
These babies cost a fortune.
47
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:23,969
Yeah, but not necessarily.
48
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,450
That is what people
in the jewelry business call
49
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,409
a, uh, parallel brand item.
50
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,021
In other words, it's a fake.
51
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:37,766
J.T., Carol has always wanted
a Swiss Roulette watch.
52
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,811
And I would love
to get her the real thing.
53
00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,291
But I went down to Bidwells
and found out
54
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:44,468
they cost $900.
55
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,383
As much as I love her,
I can't afford that.
56
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:50,039
I could barely afford the bag.
57
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,650
But Dad, if you gave her this
fake watch and pretend
it's the real thing,
58
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,696
isn't that kind of like
a parallel truth item?
59
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:59,570
Son, when you get married,
60
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:04,009
you will realize that
there is a deeper,
61
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:07,143
more spiritual truth,
that is just as important
62
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,145
as the actual truth.
63
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:13,062
Uh-huh.
64
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:17,327
Okay, I'll give you an example.
65
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:20,156
You're home with your wife,
you're watching Baywatch.
66
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,462
And she says...
67
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,033
"Honey, do you think
that girl in the bikini
is beautiful?"
68
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:31,907
Now, the actual truth is...
69
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,736
"Beautiful, my God! I'd sell
my soul to see her naked."
70
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:43,701
But the deeper,
more spiritual truth is,
71
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:47,662
"That girl? Honey, compared
to you that girl is dog food."
72
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,101
All I can say, Dad,
73
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:53,755
is if you watch Baywatch
with your wife,
74
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:55,713
you know nothing
about marriage.
75
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,075
Mail call. Heh heh.
76
00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:13,209
It's your red-hot
pre-Valentine's Day mail.
77
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,255
Let's see now.
What do we got here?
78
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,126
Oh, Sports Illustrated
for Brendan.
79
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:18,867
Cool.
80
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:21,086
Rush Limbaugh Newsletter.
That's gotta be for Mark.
81
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,132
[CHUCKLES]
82
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:26,744
Ooh! Here's a mysterious
little missive
83
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,268
for the pretty blonde
over there
84
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,965
reading the guy-hater book.
[CHUCKLES]
85
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:33,403
Who is it from?
86
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:37,755
Uh... Ooh, some dude named
"Secret Admirer."
87
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,104
[WHISTLES]
88
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,019
Throw it out.
89
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:43,239
Aw, come on, Dana. Hey.
90
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,154
You may already be a winner.
91
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:46,286
[CHUCKLES]
92
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,592
But you gotta enter to win.
93
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:51,552
Cody, if you're so interested,
then why don't you open it?
94
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,641
Okay, I will.
95
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:56,513
Let's see
what's in this puppy, huh?
96
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,690
Secret admirer. Heh-heh.
97
00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:02,171
Let's see.
98
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,347
"Dear Dana..." [CHUCKLES]
99
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,917
"I've never written a letter
like this before,
100
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,485
"but every time
I see you on campus,
101
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:14,618
"I am overwhelmed
by your beauty and grace."
102
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,359
[WHISTLES]
103
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,230
Wow, Dana, sounds like
somebody's got a crush on you.
104
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,276
I don't know about you, man,
but if I was a chick
105
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,931
I'd be all over this dude.
Ha ha!
106
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,715
Yeah, right. Okay, so I'm
supposed to melt, right?
107
00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:26,804
Because some guy says, uh...
108
00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:30,591
"You have a face
like a Botticelli angel.
109
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:33,507
"If Michelangelo
had had the chance
110
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,378
"to paint your porcelain skin
111
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,338
"and classic features,
112
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:42,037
"the world would have
a true masterpiece."
113
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,779
Yeah, so, he knows
how wonderful I am. Big deal.
114
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,085
Oh.
115
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:50,350
"The most magical thing
about you is,
not only are you brilliant..."
116
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:53,265
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
"...but you have
an impish spirit."
117
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,963
[CODY CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
118
00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,138
[CHUCKLES]
119
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,360
I wonder who Dana's
secret admirer is.
120
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,448
[CHUCKLES]
121
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:02,753
Dude, it's me.
122
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,189
[LAUGHING]
123
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,587
-You?
-CODY: Yeah, buddy.
124
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,415
Look, man, shh...
125
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,635
Every time Dana
gets dumped on
by some dude, man,
126
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:15,853
she turns into this, like,
127
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,638
wretched, bitter old hag,
you know,
128
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,988
and scares everybody away.
Ha ha.
129
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:22,599
Yeah, I figured if I wrote her
a secret admirer letter,
130
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,122
it might get her to lighten up.
131
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:26,603
She'd get a dude
just like that, right?
132
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:29,040
-You're a genius, Cody.
-CODY: Ha ha! I know.
133
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,129
I deserve a hug. [LAUGHS]
134
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,440
[GASPS]
135
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:40,574
A Swiss Roulette watch?
136
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,185
-Do You like it, huh?
-Oh, like it? I love it.
137
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,883
Frank, I've wanted one
for years. [GASPS]
138
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,059
It is so beautiful, Frank,
139
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,409
but you have to take it back.
140
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:50,584
It's too expensive.
141
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,194
Oh, honey, come on.
142
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:54,675
I really wanted to give it
to you.
143
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,677
But it's so extravagant.
144
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,548
Yeah, but no, no, no.
Now, listen.
145
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,245
Nothing's too extravagant
for you.
146
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,421
Here, just, just put it on.
147
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,900
Put it on your wrist.
148
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,380
-Oh, wow!
-See, see how it looks there.
149
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:07,731
-Huh?
-Oh, oh, Frank.
150
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:10,299
Oh, it's just
the most beautiful
gift I've ever gotten.
151
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:12,083
Well, beautiful gift
for a beautiful woman.
152
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,695
-Oh, I feel so guilty.
-Why?
153
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,610
Well, because you gave me
this gorgeous gift
154
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:18,350
and I haven't gotten you
anything yet.
155
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,484
Oh, no, no,
that doesn't matter.
It doesn't.
156
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:24,052
Hey, if you're
really miserable, I...
157
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,836
I can think of something
you might do to
158
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,098
tide me over. [CHUCKLES]
159
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:40,285
Hello.
160
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:42,331
Hello. May we help you
with something today?
161
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,855
Yes, my husband bought me
a Swiss Roulette watch
162
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,988
for Valentine's Day,
and I'd like to return it.
163
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:49,338
The Swiss Roulette
is an excellent watch.
164
00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:50,948
I hope there's
nothing wrong with it.
165
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:54,256
Oh, no, no, no, no,
it's wonderful, it's just...
166
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,780
It's a little too expensive,
and I'd rather use the money
167
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,956
to take my husband
on a romantic trip.
168
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:01,524
I see. Well, if you'll
just give me the watch
169
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,004
I'll be glad
to write up the return.
170
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:04,962
Okay. Here it is.
171
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:16,931
Do you have
a receipt for this?
172
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,759
No, it was a gift.
173
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,412
But you're sure
it was purchased here?
174
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,502
Oh, yes, it came in this bag.
175
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,547
See? "Bidwells, since 1925."
176
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:28,551
And I suppose you want cash.
177
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,510
Oh, that would be great.
178
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,688
That way I can just
run across the street
179
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,690
to the travel agency
and book our trip.
180
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:38,692
Well, of course.
Just, just...
181
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:44,567
Mr. Halliday, uh, we have
one of those return situations
182
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:46,743
which requires your attention.
183
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,877
And please bring out
those new bracelets.
184
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:52,706
We just got some
beautiful bracelets
from France.
185
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,621
Fifty percent off.
186
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:58,625
Oh. Well, I guess it wouldn't
hurt to just try one on.
187
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,540
[CHUCKLES]
188
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:01,976
-Hello.
-Hello.
189
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:03,586
I'm Mr. Halliday, and you are?
190
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,109
-Carol Lambert.
-Oh, that's nice.
191
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:06,589
What're you doing?
192
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,809
-I'm arresting you for fraud.
-No, I--
193
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:11,072
You tried to return
a counterfeit watch for cash.
194
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:12,682
Counterfeit?
195
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:14,989
Go on, Ethel, call Bunco,
blondie's going downtown.
196
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:17,992
But... But this was a,
a gift from my husband.
197
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:23,563
Frank.
198
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,613
Ladies, guess what?
199
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,137
I just got the fourth letter
200
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,791
from my secret admirer.
201
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:35,966
Ooh!
202
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,446
What did he say?
203
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:41,363
Oh, just that I'm fairer
than the evening air
204
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:44,888
clad in the beauty
of a thousand stars.
205
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:47,717
[BOTH SQUEALING IN DELIGHT]
206
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,894
This is so cool! God, I wish
we knew who this guy was.
207
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,548
I think I know who it is.
208
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:55,420
There is this gorgeous,
gorgeous guy named Danny
209
00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:56,987
who works
down at the Bear's Lair.
210
00:09:57,074 --> 00:10:01,122
He's like this Brad Pitt,
Billy Baldwin, Val Kilmer
211
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,472
rolled into one.
212
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,126
Well, how do you know
that it's him?
213
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,781
Well, he is an English
lit major, which means that
214
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:11,306
he knows poetry,
and he's been smiling
at me lately, you know,
215
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:13,917
in that special way.
216
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,832
[SCREAMING IN DELIGHT]
217
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,052
I'm gonna go down there
after my 4:00 class
218
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,663
and tell him that I have
a crush on him too.
219
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:21,708
[BOTH SQUEALING]
220
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,930
-I love Valentine's Day.
-KAREN: Go get him, Dana.
221
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,628
[SIGHS SOFTLY]
222
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,197
-Hello, you beautiful people.
-Hey.
223
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,939
-I love you guys.
-Oh! [CHUCKLING]
224
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:38,376
Boy, somebody's in
a chirpy mood today.
225
00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,291
-[CHUCKLES]
-Yeah.
226
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:41,902
Yeah, you know Dana's excited
because she got another letter
227
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,338
from her secret admirer.
228
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,296
Oh, hear that, cuz?
229
00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:48,430
Dana's in a good mood
'cause of her secret admirer.
230
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:51,433
I wonder who the mysterious
Romeo might be, huh?
231
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,130
[BOTH SNICKERING]
232
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,785
Oh, Dana knows who he is.
233
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,482
She does?
234
00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:59,702
Oh, yeah, there's this guy
named Danny who, uh,
235
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,835
works at the coffee shop
across from campus.
236
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,185
Oh, she's going down there
after her 4:00 class
237
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,448
to tell him that
she's hot for him too.
[GIGGLES]
238
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,319
[GASPS] Uh-oh.
239
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,321
[IMITATES RADIO STATIC]
Houston, we have a problem.
240
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:15,849
Hey, son.
241
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,285
Hey, Dad.
242
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,200
So, how did Carol
like her fake watch?
243
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,288
[CHUCKLES]
244
00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:23,073
You be quiet.
245
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,641
For your information,
she loved it.
246
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:29,427
In fact, I got a special little
love note in my lunch box
247
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,603
thanking me for it.
248
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,868
Dad, I hate to tell you this,
but you're going down, man.
249
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,959
Carol's gonna know
you're trying to pull something.
250
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:42,310
J.T., you are wrong.
She loved the watch,
she's happy.
251
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:44,051
End of story.
252
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:45,748
[PHONE RINGING]
253
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:48,446
Hello?
254
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:49,534
Oh, hi, Carol.
255
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,191
Uh-huh.
256
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:57,629
Uh-huh.
257
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:00,067
Uh-huh.
258
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,026
Okay, I'll tell him.
259
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,208
So, what was that, huh?
260
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,776
[LAUGHING]
261
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:16,431
Oh, man. Carol just told me
the funniest story.
262
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:20,217
Yeah, she tried to return
the watch you bought her,
263
00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:21,871
but, uh, it was a fake.
264
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,873
Oh, but of course,
you already know that.
265
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,441
'Cause you're the one
who bought it.
266
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,878
Anyway, she's in jail
and she wants you
to come get her out.
267
00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:33,709
Oh, boy, you guys
are gonna have
so much to talk about.
268
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,929
Go! Go!
269
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,409
While you're down there,
tell her you watch Baywatch.
270
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:39,497
[LAUGHING]
271
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:48,506
Good news, Trixie,
I got a roommate for you.
272
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,903
Happy Valentine's Day, ladies.
273
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:57,341
Yeah, some Valentine's Day.
274
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:58,429
Hi.
275
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:00,910
I'm Trixie.
276
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,260
Yeah, I'm Carol.
277
00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:05,175
Pleasure.
278
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:06,742
So, what're you in for?
279
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,483
I married an idiot.
280
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:13,096
[SIGHS] What're you in for?
281
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,883
Oh, I date a lot.
282
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:22,323
Lambert, you got a visitor.
283
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,284
Hi, honey.
284
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:29,896
I got your note,
285
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,201
where you told me
286
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:32,637
how much you love me.
287
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:37,642
You're angry, aren't you?
288
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,601
Well...
289
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:42,778
When they handcuffed me
and booked me for a felony
290
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,128
I was angry.
291
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,869
But after the fingerprinting,
292
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,611
mugshots and the strip search,
293
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,961
I reached a whole new place
294
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,398
way beyond anger!
295
00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,448
Oh, look, honey,
I know I screwed up.
296
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:03,625
Yeah, but I posted your bail,
and as soon as
the paperwork's done,
297
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,540
we can go home and talk.
298
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:08,238
Well, Frank, right now I don't
wanna go any place with you.
299
00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:10,937
Why not? He's hot.
300
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:12,199
[GIGGLES]
301
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,201
Look, Trixie...
302
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:17,769
Sorry, private moment.
303
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,775
Look, Carol, uh...
304
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,257
I was wrong not to tell you
about the watch.
305
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,956
But, gee, honey,
it was Valentine's Day
306
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:32,393
and I wanted to do somethin'
real special for you.
307
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,830
Oh, so you bought me
a fake watch and made me feel
308
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:38,616
like a fool when I found out
it wasn't the real thing?
309
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,836
Oh, I would never want you
to feel like a fool.
310
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:45,275
I love you more than anything
in the whole world, Carol.
311
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,411
I suppose, I could have got you
312
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,935
flowers or candy
313
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,023
but for Valentine's Day
314
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:57,070
it just didn't seem like enough.
315
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,115
You deserve the best things
money can buy.
316
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,249
I just can't afford to buy 'em.
317
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:11,519
Oh, Frank, I would have been
happy if all you gave me
318
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,738
for Valentine's Day was a kiss.
319
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,265
Does that offer still stand?
320
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:22,008
Absolutely.
321
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,578
Oh, wow.
322
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,205
Hi.
323
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,468
Oh, hi.
324
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,122
Dana, right?
325
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:50,558
Right.
326
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:52,081
It's nice to see you again.
327
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:55,519
Oh, well, thanks.
It's good to see you too.
328
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:56,781
What can I get for you?
329
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,742
Well, I've been...
330
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:04,180
secretly admiring the scones.
331
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:07,967
Secretly admiring them?
332
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,011
Uh-huh.
333
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:15,191
Okay. One secretly admired
scone coming up.
334
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:24,026
Hey, Dana. Dude,
I gotta talk to you.
[CHUCKLES]
335
00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,072
Cody, no. Not now.
336
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:27,551
Hey, listen,
this is really important.
337
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,075
There's something
you gotta know
338
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,554
about the guy that wrote you
those letters.
339
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:32,426
[SCOFFS] I know everything
I need to know.
340
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:34,515
He's tall, good looking, and
getting me a scone right now.
341
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:35,951
So beat it.
342
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,300
Yeah, there's something
that you just
343
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:38,693
don't understand about
what's going--
344
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:41,087
Here you go,
one hot buttered scone.
345
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:46,005
No, I don't have
any jumper cables
in my purse.
346
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,441
Go call AAA.
347
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:48,964
There's a pay phone,
right over there.
348
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,753
It's on the house.
349
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,365
-Oh, thank you.
-Sure.
350
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:01,368
Listen, um, I'm really glad
you came in here again today.
351
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:02,847
I've seen you in here before
but I just haven't
352
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:05,328
had a chance to talk to you.
353
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:08,462
Well, talking is okay,
but sometimes,
354
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:11,856
writing a letter
says so much more.
355
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,510
-Ah.
-[PHONE RINGING]
356
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:14,729
Excuse me.
357
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,167
Bear's Lair.
358
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:20,996
Yeah, she's right here.
359
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:22,867
It's for you.
360
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,877
-Hello?
-Hey, Dana, it's me.
361
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,488
Hiding by the phone booth.
362
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:42,235
Listen, I hate to do this to you
over the phone, okay?
363
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:46,282
But listen, you are really
about to embarrass
yourself, all right?
364
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:47,849
So, this is what you gotta do.
365
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,069
You gotta pay for the scone,
get up,
366
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:53,072
act perfectly natural,
come outside
367
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,900
and meet me over
at the fountain by
the student union building.
368
00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,641
Okay?
369
00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:00,340
I'll be wearing the same thing
I'm wearing right now.
370
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,087
Wrong number.
371
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,220
Hey, dude. Ha ha!
372
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:12,743
Listen, man, uh...
373
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,441
Are these the only Danishes
you got here?
374
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,182
No, we got some
cinnamon rolls
in the back.
375
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,967
Oh, killer, man,
cinnamon rolls are perfect.
376
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:20,925
Hey, I'll take a dozen
to go, all right?
377
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:23,189
Uh, hey, could you wrap 'em
up for me?
378
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,364
-Individually.
-Sure.
379
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,148
-Like in foil.
-Okay.
380
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,236
Okay.
381
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,934
Okay. Cool. Ha ha! All right.
382
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:33,547
-What are you doing?
-Listen, Dana...
383
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,723
Dana, I gotta tell you
about those letters, man.
384
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,507
See, uh, I kinda...
385
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:41,337
Wrote them.
386
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,644
No. [LAUGHS]
No, no, no, no, no.
387
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:46,168
Those letters were written
by a poet.
388
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:49,519
An artist, who can express
intense emotion
389
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,869
in simple turn
of a perfect phrase.
390
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:55,786
You mean like, uh, "Your eyes
are fairer than the evening air
391
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,137
"clad in the beauty
of a thousand stars?"
392
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,663
Why do you keep doing
this to me?
393
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:06,362
-Why? Why? Why?
-Hey, Dana. Dana.
394
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,103
Dana, Dana, Dana, stop.
395
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,584
Okay. [CHUCKLES]
Listen, I, I...
396
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:11,628
[CHUCKLES]
397
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:17,156
I just wrote you the letters,
you know, to cheer you up.
398
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,462
Oh, well, great.
Congratulations.
399
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:20,898
I feel like a total idiot.
400
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:22,422
But why?
401
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:25,120
Every word I wrote you
in those letters is true.
402
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:28,515
I mean, hey, you are one gnarly
chunk of womanhood, you know.
403
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:34,042
You just like, uh, put up this
wall sometimes, you know.
404
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:36,000
It says, "Keep out.
No trespassing.
405
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,916
"Every trespasser will be shot,
murdered and hung."
406
00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:41,571
You know? [CHUCKLING]
407
00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:43,573
So, so what?
So, what're you
trying to say?
408
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,054
You're saying
that I'm defensive?
409
00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:49,971
Well, yeah, man, you got a
tougher defensive line than
the '85 Chicago Bears.
410
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,842
[CHUCKLES]
You know?
411
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,888
Dana, you're a great
person, you just gotta
412
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:56,238
lighten up sometimes,
and let people see it.
413
00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,459
Yeah, that's great, Cody.
414
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:02,375
Yeah, I appreciate you
saying that, but, uh...
415
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:05,029
Valentine's Day
is still crock.
416
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:07,597
Here you go,
a dozen cinnamon rolls to go.
417
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,208
Oh, cool. Thanks, man.
418
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:11,558
Uh, here you go.
419
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,342
-Thank you.
-Ten bucks. Okay.
420
00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:15,301
-Keep the change. [LAUGHS]
-Thanks.
421
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:17,607
So, phew. Ever have
one of those days?
422
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:18,652
[CHUCKLES]
423
00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:20,784
Okay.
424
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,961
Now listen, uh...
425
00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:25,354
I'm gonna take a chance.
426
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:28,401
You probably
have a boyfriend, but,
427
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:29,750
would you like to go
to a movie sometime?
428
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,233
You wanna go out with me?
429
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:36,800
Yeah.
430
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:37,932
I mean, it's weird.
When you first started
coming in here
431
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:39,629
you were a little
cold and aloof,
432
00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:41,805
but in the last week or so
you've really opened up
433
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,807
and relaxed.
434
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:49,900
Yeah, well, I have a friend
who's been helping me
with that.
435
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:53,252
[PHONE RINGING]
436
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:55,297
Bear's Lair.
437
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:57,865
Yeah.
438
00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:00,563
It's for you.
439
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,655
Hello?
440
00:21:05,742 --> 00:21:08,876
CODY:
♪ Dana and Danny
sittin' in a tree
441
00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:12,009
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G
442
00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:13,707
♪ First comes love
443
00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:15,796
♪ Then comes marriage
444
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:18,494
♪ Then you see Dana puttin'
the baby in the carriage ♪
445
00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:27,503
"Dear Carol, I'm not used to
saying things like this
446
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,985
"so I thought I'd tell you
how I feel about you
in a note."
447
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:32,595
Frank!
448
00:21:32,682 --> 00:21:33,901
Yeah, honey, what?
449
00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:36,556
Did you write this love letter?
450
00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:38,297
[CHUCKLES] Go ahead, read it.
451
00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:40,211
Oh, Frank.
452
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,736
Oh, this is so wonderful.
453
00:21:42,823 --> 00:21:47,044
"You have a face
like a Botticelli angel.
454
00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:49,786
"If Michelangelo had
had the chance
455
00:21:49,873 --> 00:21:51,875
"to paint your porcelain skin
456
00:21:51,962 --> 00:21:54,313
"and classic features,
457
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,967
"the world would have
a true masterpiece.
458
00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:59,100
"Love, Frank."
459
00:21:59,187 --> 00:22:01,972
Oh, Frank, this is just
the most romantic letter
460
00:22:02,059 --> 00:22:03,452
I've ever received.
461
00:22:03,539 --> 00:22:05,715
Cody wrote it, didn't he?
462
00:22:05,802 --> 00:22:06,803
Every word.
463
00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:09,632
Thank you for being honest.
32928
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