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1
00:00:00,870 --> 00:00:02,089
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:07,442
Hey, guys, great news.
3
00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:10,053
I got something
that's gonna change our lives.
4
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,186
[LAUGHS] What is it?
An inflatable woman?
5
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,711
No, it's a girly magazine.
6
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,064
That's Peoplemagazine.
7
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:22,196
Yeah.
8
00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:24,241
But this one has a photo spread
9
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,852
of the 10 sexiest women
in the world.
10
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:28,506
Oh, man.
11
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:31,988
Is that a swimsuit
or a paint job?
12
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:34,121
I'd really love
to go out with her.
13
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:36,862
Mark, that's Pamela Anderson.
14
00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:38,951
You have a better shot at going
out with Louie Anderson.
15
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:42,868
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
16
00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,609
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
17
00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:50,311
♪ The dream got broken
18
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,139
♪ Seemed like all was lost
19
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,010
♪ What would be the future?
20
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,707
♪ Could you pay the cost?
21
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:57,144
♪ You wonder
22
00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:58,841
♪ Will there ever be
23
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:01,974
♪ A second time around?
24
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,846
WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
25
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:05,630
♪ When the tears are over
26
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,763
♪ And the moment has come
27
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:11,375
♪ Say, "My Lord
I think I found someone"
28
00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:13,595
♪ You know it will be better
29
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:15,336
♪ 'Cause you're
putting it together
30
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:17,903
♪ For the second time around
31
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,912
ALL:
♪ Step by step, day by day
32
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:28,262
WOMAN:
♪ Day by day
33
00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:29,915
ALL:
♪ A fresh start over
34
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,613
♪ A different hand to play
35
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,528
♪ The deeper we fall
36
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,660
♪ The stronger we stay
37
00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:37,749
WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better
38
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:40,361
MAN:
♪ Second time around ♪
39
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:51,111
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
40
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,157
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
41
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:03,427
J.T., could you, please,
be useless in another room?
42
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,429
I'm studying.
43
00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:07,475
Come on.
My principal Mrs. Whitney
44
00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:09,390
is coming over to talk to mom.
45
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:13,089
That old bat? [LAUGHS]
Oh, man, I can't believe
she's still alive.
46
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:16,353
But she was 110
when I was in school.
47
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,225
You know, I'll bet
she still has it out for me
48
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,878
for letting the air out of her
tires the last day of school.
49
00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:22,490
You did that?
50
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:23,969
Yeah, I was graduating.
What was she gonna do?
51
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:25,667
Give me detention?
52
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,408
[DOORBELL RINGS]
53
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,236
Mom, I thing it's Mrs. Whitney.
54
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,454
CAROL:
Okay.
55
00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:35,633
Hello, Mrs. Whitney.
56
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,679
Hello, Mark.
57
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,159
Don't you look lovely
this evening.
58
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,551
Oh.
59
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:41,857
[SMACKS LIPS]
60
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,643
And what's your problem?
61
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,079
Chapped lips.
62
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,563
May I take your wrap?
63
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:53,782
Oh, certainly.
64
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:56,088
You are such a nice young man.
65
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,960
And you are a tribute
to higher education.
66
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,222
[CHUCKLES]
67
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:01,181
Suck-up, ahem.
68
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,402
Well, hello, Mrs. Whitney.
69
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,752
Oh, it's nice to see you again,
Mrs. Lambert.
70
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,667
Yes, you too.
71
00:03:09,754 --> 00:03:10,799
Please, come in.
72
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:11,887
Thank you.
73
00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,541
You remember J.T.
74
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:15,107
I certainly do.
75
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,501
You're the hooligan
who let the air out of my tires.
76
00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:23,246
Consider yourself on detention
all next week.
77
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,814
Wait a minute,
you can't give me detention.
I'm out of high school.
78
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:29,165
No, but I can.
You're grounded.
79
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:32,821
Oh, man, this bites.
O.J. walks and I get detention.
80
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:36,955
Please, sit down.
81
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:38,740
Thank you.
82
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,916
-Would you like some coffee?
-Yes, please.
83
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,657
Okay.
84
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:45,877
So, what did you want
to talk to us about?
85
00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:48,271
Well, as we all know,
86
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:51,970
Mark is a very gifted student.
87
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:56,236
I would like to help him
get into the Academy for
Advanced Learning.
88
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:59,326
Yes, the big time.
I'm going to the show.
89
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:03,068
Well, I mean,
this is very flattering
90
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,593
but I'm just not sure that
I want Mark to go to a school
91
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,725
that stresses only academics.
92
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:10,424
But, Mom, this could be
my chance to prove myself
93
00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:12,382
against the smartest kids
in the city.
94
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,992
Yes, I know, but I think,
you know,
95
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,951
being with normal kids
in a normal environment
96
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:18,388
is an important part
of life too.
97
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,695
Hey, Carol, I learned the
greatest thing in school today.
98
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,653
Now see, Brendan goes
to a public school
99
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,655
and I think he gets
a very well-rounded education.
100
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:26,701
So what did you learn?
101
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,833
Check it out.
I learned how to play music
with my armpit.
102
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,358
Oh, ooh, ooh, da-da-di-da.
103
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,229
On second thought, I think
104
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:36,058
maybe normal kids
are holding Mark back.
105
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:37,668
-[ARMPIT FARTS]
-Ooh!
106
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,066
So can I go to the academy?
107
00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:45,154
[STAMMERS] Sure.
108
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,374
Yes, I'm the man.
109
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:50,028
Well, I'm gonna go practice
for the talent show.
110
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:51,116
Uh...
111
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,468
He's a Lambert, isn't he?
112
00:04:57,166 --> 00:05:00,343
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
113
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:04,739
Anyway, I'm just really tired
of the name Karen Foster.
114
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,741
It's so boring.
115
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,744
I'm thinking of changing my name
to Hakuna Matata.
116
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:15,402
Yeah, yeah,
then I'd have my own song.
[CHUCKLES]
117
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,621
Karen, Karen, we need the phone.
We need the phone.
118
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,058
I'm having
a very important conversation.
119
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,756
Have it later.
120
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:22,974
Hi, she'll call you back.
121
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:24,193
Hey!
122
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,977
Uh, Karen, this is an emergency.
123
00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:27,457
Now if we're the 57th caller
124
00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,154
we're gonna win
free Super Bowl tickets.
125
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:30,939
Super BowL? [SCOFFS]
126
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:33,202
Like that is more important
than me changing my name
127
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:34,725
to Hakuna Matata.
128
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,861
-It's ringing, it's ringing.
-Oh, hovering!
129
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:42,429
Hello, hi, yes, yes, hi.
My name is J.T. Lambert
130
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,909
and my dad and I are willing
to do absolutely anything
131
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:47,216
to go to the Super Bowl.
132
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,826
Dad, we're the 57th caller.
133
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,437
Yes, we're in, we're going.
134
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,308
Okay, what do we have to do?
135
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:53,918
What... What did he say?
What... What's he saying?
136
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,007
Okay, Dad, how do you feel
about the cheerleaders
137
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,444
-you see at halftime?
-[GASPS]
138
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:58,793
-I love 'em.
-Yeah?
139
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,796
How'd you like
to dress like one?
140
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,756
Oh, no, oh, no.
141
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:08,716
Come on, Dad, all we have to do
is dress up like cheerleaders
142
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,761
and go to Dave's Sports Bar,
Saturday at 8:00.
143
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:11,936
Uh, forget it, J.T., no way.
144
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,285
Come on, Dad.
145
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,809
Well, all it is
is a cheerleading outfit
146
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,202
it's not a thong bikini.
147
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,422
Come on, this is for the
Super Bowl tickets.
Fifty yard line.
148
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,642
-Okay, okay.
-Okay.
149
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,165
Okay. We'll do it, we'll do it.
150
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:24,514
Yes, okay, fine, all right, bye.
151
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,037
BOTH: Yes, we're in.
152
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:27,082
-We're going to the Super Bowl.
-Yes, yes!
153
00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,953
BOTH: [LAUGHS] Lambert, Lambert!
154
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,477
Lambert, Lambert!
155
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:32,609
What are you two
so excited about?
156
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:35,220
Dad and I are going' to
Dave's Sports Bar
dressed like women.
157
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:37,005
[LAUGHING]
158
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,533
I've gotta get out
of this family.
159
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,324
Hi, boys.
I didn't know Mark was home.
160
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,718
He's not. We just let ourselves
in to wait for him.
161
00:06:58,113 --> 00:06:59,636
Well, then why don't you
just help yourselves
162
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:00,724
to a little snack?
163
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:02,552
Oh, we already did.
164
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,815
By the way,
you're out of peanut butter.
165
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,949
Well, there's another jar
in the pantry.
166
00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:10,168
Not anymore.
167
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:12,301
Okay, I'll just put it
on the list.
168
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,957
BEN: Oh, hey, Mark.
169
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,873
Honey, how was your first day
at the academy?
170
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,788
Awful.
171
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,790
We had a pop quiz today
and I got a C.
172
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:27,229
[LAUGHS]
A C.
Mark Foster got a C.
173
00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:29,449
Oh, man, how the mighty
have fallen.
174
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,277
You better stop laughing
175
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:33,888
or I'll shove that turkey leg
up your nose.
176
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:37,239
Mark, Mark, take it easy,
it's just a grade.
177
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,807
Yeah, a C,
which means average.
178
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:42,810
Well, let me tell you something.
Mark Foster is not average.
179
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,507
Well, maybe you'll do
better next time.
180
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:45,987
Darn straight I will.
181
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:47,945
I'm gonna study
every minute of the day
182
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,947
until I can claim my rightful
place at the head of the class.
183
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,863
Hey, Mark, you seem
a little stressed out.
184
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,212
Now why don't you come
with me and Roland
185
00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:55,823
tonight to see a movie, huh?
186
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:58,129
A movie? Don't you understand?
187
00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,391
I have to study.
188
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,958
It's Friday night.
189
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:03,308
So what? If you wanna
succeed at the academy
190
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:05,572
you have to study 24 hours
a day, seven days a week.
191
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:08,139
You don't have time
for stupid movies.
192
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:09,489
CAROL: Well,
dinner's in about an hour.
193
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:10,925
No time for food.
194
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,275
But it's lasagna.
It's your favorite.
195
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:14,581
BOTH: Lasagna?
196
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,499
I'll set two more places.
197
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,508
Oh, Dana, I'm glad you're here.
198
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,512
What do you think
of my new look, huh?
199
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,557
[CHUCKLES]
200
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,298
You look like you slept
in a dumpster.
201
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:38,822
Yeah, I wish.
202
00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:41,608
No, this is all part
of my new invention.
203
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:46,569
Edible clothing, huh?
204
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,311
Care for a bite
of my potato skin vest?
205
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:50,399
[CHUCKLES]
206
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,534
Cody, why are you wearing food?
207
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,319
'Cause I'm gonna go camping.
208
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,757
You know,
like when you go camping
209
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,977
you gotta lurk around
all that heavy food and stuff.
210
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,936
So I figured, hey, why not
just wear it, you know?
211
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,069
It's light,
it's durable, you know.
212
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:10,332
Plus, if I get lost
in the woods, hey, man
213
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:13,378
I can survive a whole month
just snacking on my duds.
214
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:15,163
[CHUCKLES]
215
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:18,035
Look at that,
I got my cassava hat, huh?
216
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,472
Potato skin vest,
sausage belt
217
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,475
and 100% turkey-jerky boots.
218
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,825
[CHUCKLES]
219
00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:29,090
Gee, and I thought
Calvin Klein had his finger
220
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:30,439
on the pulse
of American fashion.
221
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,920
Yeah, it's camping time.
222
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:35,531
Ooh, I almost forgot my most
important piece of clothing.
223
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,402
[CHUCKLES] Dude!
224
00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:40,971
Yeah, and you thought I didn't
know what I was doing, huh?
225
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:43,234
[CHUCKLES]
Check this out.
226
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:45,323
English muffin earmuffs.
227
00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,761
[CHUCKLES]
228
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,197
Well, I'm off.
229
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,372
[CHUCKLES]
230
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:55,072
There's the understatement
of the year.
231
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,079
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER STEREO]
232
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:10,174
Okay, listeners,
we're back live
from Dave's Sports Grill
233
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:12,568
and the moment you've all been waiting for is here.
234
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:16,572
It's time to meet the
contestants in WNKW's annual
235
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:20,358
I'll Do Anything
For Super Bowl
Tickets Giveaway.
236
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:23,405
Say hello to J.T.
and Frank Lambert
237
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:27,496
better known tonight
as Janet and Francesca.
238
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:29,977
[BRICK HOUSEPLAYING ON STEREO]
239
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:32,675
[CROWD CHEERING]
240
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:36,592
♪ She's mighty, mighty
Just letting it all hang out
241
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:40,030
♪ She's a brick house
242
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,120
[TURNS SONG OFF]
243
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:46,297
Whoo! Nice pom-poms, ladies.
244
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,038
Yeah, we love you, too.
Now where's the tickets?
245
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,736
Oh, not so fast.
246
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:51,041
I told you
you'd get your tickets
247
00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:52,782
from two beautiful ladies
248
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,262
but what I didn't tell you
is that they'd be
249
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:57,526
two beautiful ladies
of wrestling!
250
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,833
[LAUGHS]
251
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:07,492
Frank and J.T., say hello
to Assault and Battery.
252
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:10,191
These two brawling beauties
have your Super Bowl tickets
253
00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:12,846
and all you have
to do is survive
254
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,586
ten rounds in the ring
with them.
255
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:18,199
[SCREAMING]
256
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,029
I'll wait for you in the car.
257
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:23,857
Come on, Dad,
this is for the Super Bowl.
258
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,597
We can't back down now.
259
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:27,948
[BELL RINGS]
260
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:30,167
And now round one.
261
00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:31,255
CROWD: [CHANTING]
Go! Go! Go! Go!
262
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:32,517
Come on in, guys.
263
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:39,916
Ms, Assault, is it? Yeah.
264
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:43,964
Uh, listen, I...
I don't feel right
about fighting with a woman.
265
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:46,314
So why don't you just
give us the tickets
266
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:47,663
and we'll call it a night?
267
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,883
Oh, well, sure.
268
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,580
-Here they are.
-Oh, great.
269
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:55,105
[GRUNTS]
I'll flip you for them!
270
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:56,716
[GRUNTING]
271
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,155
There's a takedown.
That's two points.
272
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,899
Going somewhere?
273
00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:07,465
[GRUNTS]
274
00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:10,207
[CROWD CHEERING]
275
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:16,779
J.T.: God, I'm gonna die
and I'm still a virgin.
276
00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:18,302
[SCREAMING]
277
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,482
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
278
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:29,400
Well, it's round eight
and the score is,
279
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:31,794
Beautiful Girls, 92,
280
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:34,275
and Lamberts, zilch.
281
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:36,016
If those boys are going
to the Super Bowl
282
00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:38,105
they're going' in body casts.
283
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,237
[GRUNTING]
284
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,284
[CROWD CHEERING]
285
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:45,895
Oh, thank you.
286
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,157
[SCREAMS]
287
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,248
[SHOUTS]
288
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,120
Ooh, I'll bet that hurt.
289
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,600
[GRUNTING]
290
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:57,907
[GASPS]
291
00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:02,782
Don't make me come and get you.
292
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,436
[SHOUTING]
293
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:06,698
-You okay, Dad?
-Oh, yeah.
294
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,570
[GRUNTS]
295
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:14,968
Ow!
296
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,146
[GROANS]
297
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:22,758
Huh?
298
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:29,156
Make a wish.
299
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,854
I wish
you weren't gonna do this.
300
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,813
[GRUNTING]
301
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,387
Oh, God!
302
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,998
[SCREAMS]
303
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,523
[CHEERING]
304
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:54,964
That's it, that's it, no more.
Aunt, uncle.
305
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,487
We give up, whatever.
306
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,968
[BELL RINGS]
307
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,014
And there's the first
smart move of the night
for the Lamberts!
308
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:03,320
They've conceded!
309
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:09,805
The undefeated champions,
Assault and Battery!
310
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,807
[CROWD CHEERING]
311
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:14,070
Well, how about a nice round
of applause for our losers?
312
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,468
Come on over here, fellas.
313
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:29,869
Well, how're you feeling, guys?
314
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:33,785
I wanna die.
315
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,265
Well, maybe this'll make you
feel better.
316
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,963
You guys were such good sports
317
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,095
that we're gonna give you the Super Bowl tickets, anyway.
318
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,402
-You earned 'em
-[GROANS]
319
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,447
I... I can get
handicap parking, right?
320
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,669
Now would you boys
like to go another round
321
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:48,888
for air fare
and accommodations?
322
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,369
Help!
323
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:55,503
Just kidding.
The whole package is yours.
324
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,766
And thanks for playing WNKW's
325
00:14:57,853 --> 00:15:00,769
I'll Do Anything
For Super Bowl Tickets.
326
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,859
[APPLAUSE]
327
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,122
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
328
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:25,794
Mark.
329
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,104
Oh, hi, Karen.
330
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,716
What are you wearing
on your head?
331
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:36,500
My study lights.
They help me focus.
332
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,899
But it's 3:00 in the morning.
What are you still doing up?
333
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,509
Well, I might ask
the same question,
334
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,468
Ms. Sneaking
Through The Backdoor.
335
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,864
I have very good reason
for being out this late.
336
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,780
I've been making out
with Bobby Cooper
for the last six hours.
337
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,260
What's your excuse?
338
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,001
I'm cramming.
339
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,134
I've gotta keep up with the rest
of the kids at the academy.
340
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,527
Hey, you're not allowed
to drink coffee.
341
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:06,704
Oh, I'm not drinking it,
I'm chewing it.
342
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,663
It gets into the blood stream
a lot quicker that way.
343
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,973
Mmm. I'm good
for another hour.
344
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:31,816
Night-night, Lily.
345
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:41,304
Karen, what are you doing up?
346
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,307
I, uh, just went
to the bathroom.
347
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,094
You got dressed,
you put on mascara
348
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:49,660
to go to the bathroom?
349
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,274
You know me. I think
appearance is very important.
350
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:57,233
Goodnight.
351
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,105
Karen.
352
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:02,021
It is 3:00 in the morning.
353
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:05,241
I have just been breastfeeding
and Lily is getting teeth.
354
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:08,114
[SIGHS] Don't mess with me.
355
00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:14,685
Okay, I broke my curfew because
I was out with Bobby Cooper.
356
00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:16,165
[SIGHS]
357
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:18,907
But that is not
your biggest concern.
358
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,778
Mark is downstairs studying.
359
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,477
And abusing coffee.
360
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,872
Mark is studying at 3:00
in the morning?
361
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,135
And abusing coffee.
362
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:33,313
And I think
that this is a major problem
363
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,097
and you should deal with it
right now.
364
00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,446
You are darn right, I'm gonna
deal with it right now.
365
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:37,534
Thank you, Karen.
366
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:38,579
You're welcome.
367
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:41,147
Oh, Karen, Karen.
368
00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:42,322
Yeah, Mom?
369
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:43,627
You're grounded.
370
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,327
It was worth it.
371
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,073
Ah!
372
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,337
Mark, why aren't you in bed?
373
00:17:57,424 --> 00:18:00,122
Sleep is for losers. There's
no way I'm gonna get a C again.
374
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,124
[COMPUTER BLEEPS]
375
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:03,734
Hard drive is full?
376
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,823
Mom, I need $5,000
for a new computer.
377
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:09,262
Mark, I want you
to stop working.
378
00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:11,177
And take off those antenna
lights. You look like a bug.
379
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:15,006
Mark, I think this new school
was a bad idea.
380
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,965
I want you to go back
to your regular school.
381
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,793
No way, you can't do that to me.
382
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,404
Mark, the school is putting
way too much pressure on you.
383
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:23,624
I... I don't care.
I'm not quitting
and you can't make me.
384
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,321
-I'm just trying to help.
-Well, you're not.
385
00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:28,542
-You're making it worse.
-How am I making it worse?
386
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:32,023
Forget it. I don't wanna talk
about it anymore.
387
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,808
[SIGHS]
You just don't understand.
388
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:39,727
Okay, maybe I don't understand,
but I'd really like to.
389
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:45,036
Why are you so upset?
390
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,605
I can't quit the academy now.
I have to prove I'm the best.
391
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:49,737
Why?
392
00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:53,828
It's who I am.
393
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:56,135
I'm not a jock.
394
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,963
I'm not Mr. Personality.
395
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:01,836
If I'm not the smartest kid
in school
396
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,359
then I'm nothing.
397
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,015
Mark.
398
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,712
You know, if this had happened
a few years ago
399
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:11,324
I'd understand
why you feel this way.
400
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:14,153
You used to be a one-dimensional
kind of kid, you know
401
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,633
and school was your life.
402
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,114
But lately,
you've really grown.
403
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:22,117
You've had a girlfriend,
you've taken karate lessons.
404
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,163
You got buddies.
405
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,599
Really, Mark,
I think this school
406
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:28,384
is a step backwards for you.
407
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:31,648
But you always say
how proud you are of me
408
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:32,997
when I get straight As.
409
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,912
Oh, Mark.
410
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:38,089
I am proud of you
when you do your best.
411
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,830
But I want you to do
your best in everything,
412
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:42,224
not just in school.
413
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:44,270
So you're not
disappointed in me?
414
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:46,663
Oh, I'm never
disappointed in you.
415
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,361
And really, I think
you will be a lot happier
416
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:51,146
if you go back
to your normal life.
417
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:54,236
Mom, I have kind of missed
hanging out with my friends.
418
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:57,544
Oh, yeah. They're nice kids.
419
00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:59,241
They eat like pigs, but...
420
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,853
they're really nice kids.
421
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:07,380
You know what, Mom?
I think you're right.
422
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,511
I wanna go back
to my old school.
423
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,731
Oh, good.
424
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:14,822
But the tough part's gonna be
telling them that I quit.
425
00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:17,085
It's gonna be
pretty humiliating.
426
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:20,175
Well, not if you say
427
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,917
"Gosh, like you know,
my mom had a total cow
428
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:26,312
"and she's forcing me
to go back to my old school."
429
00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:28,096
I can't say that. It's not true.
430
00:20:28,705 --> 00:20:30,229
Okay.
431
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,927
Mark Foster, I forbid you
to go to this new school.
432
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:35,234
Not. No, no, no. I don't want
any more of your backtalk.
433
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:38,411
You're going to your regular
school and that is final.
434
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,717
See? Now it's true.
435
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:42,850
-You're a great mom.
-Yeah, I know.
436
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:52,425
Whoa, Dana.
437
00:20:52,512 --> 00:20:53,513
Whoa!
438
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,384
Thank God, you're here.
439
00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:57,734
All right, listen, now
if an 800 pound grizzly bear
440
00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,781
rings the doorbell,
just tell him I'm not here.
441
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,913
Oh, my God,
what happened to you?
442
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,916
[CHUCKLES]
Well, I learned one important
fact about the woods.
443
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:08,702
There's a lot of hungry animals
out there.
444
00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:10,965
[CHUCKLES]
Trust me, it's no place to be
445
00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:12,967
if you're dressed like
the salad bar from the Sizzler.
446
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:14,838
[CHUCKLES]
447
00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:17,232
Cody, you didn't have a tent
or anything to protect you?
448
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:20,801
Well, yeah, but I made the tent
out of eggplant. [CHUCKLES]
449
00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:22,585
Yeah, man, as soon as
the bears got through that
450
00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:25,545
man, I became the main dish.
[CHUCKLES]
451
00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:29,200
Thank God, I talked myself out
of Canadian bacon underwear.
452
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,855
That could've been
some permanent damage.
453
00:21:31,942 --> 00:21:34,554
-[SIGHS]
-I'm gonna go upstairs
and shower off.
454
00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:36,251
I think I'm getting
a little ripe, huh?
455
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:37,731
[CHUCKLES]
456
00:21:41,648 --> 00:21:43,345
I really gotta get out
of this family.
32572
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