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1
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,918
-Hey, dudes.
-Hey, Cody.
2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,269
Hey, did you guys get
any deliveries for me today?
3
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:09,748
No, why?
You expecting something?
4
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:11,794
Yeah, buddy.
Dude, today's the day I get
5
00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:14,536
my Kalashnikov Ham Radio
from Russia.
6
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,929
[CHUCKLES]
7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,714
You ordered something
from Russia?
8
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:20,629
-Can you do that?
-Totally.
9
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,326
Dude, ever since
they threw out the Commies
10
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:24,328
they're having like this
big, giant Eastern bloc
11
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:25,503
clearance sale over there.
12
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:27,897
[CHUCKLES]
13
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:30,073
[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT]
Lost our nation,
everything must go.
14
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,293
[LAUGHING]
15
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,642
Dude, check out this catalog.
16
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,733
-Oh, wow!
-Yeah.
17
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,474
Those pinkos really know
how to move the merchandise.
18
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:40,605
Yeah, buddy.
19
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:42,259
[DOORBELL RINGS]
20
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,695
Oh, dude, that's it.
21
00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:46,568
My Kalashnikov Ham Radio
is here.
22
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,613
Thank you very much.
[LAUGHS]
23
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:52,095
-All right.
-Delivery for a Cody Lambert.
24
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:54,489
-That's me, dude. Cool.
-Sign here.
25
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,360
Listen, buddy, I gotta
tell you somethin'.
26
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,275
I've been in this business
for 15 years
27
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:01,061
and this is the strangest
delivery I've ever made.
28
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,411
What? You've never delivered
a ham radio before?
29
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:05,456
Oh, no, I've delivered
a lot of those.
30
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:08,546
Just that I've never delivered
one of these before.
31
00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:14,552
Hello! Hmm, you must be Cody.
32
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,250
[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
Yeah, I'm Cody.
33
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:21,081
-Who are you?
-I'm what you ordered.
34
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,213
I'm your mail-order bride.
35
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:29,524
Hey-hey, now hold the phoneski
here, guys. Uh...
36
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,091
There's gotta be
some kind of shipping
37
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,788
and handling error, right?
I mean...
38
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:36,313
I ordered
a Kalashnikov Ham Radio.
39
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,576
Oh, I see what happened.
40
00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:40,796
When you ordered
your Kalashnikov,
41
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:43,494
you wrote down
Kalashnikova instead.
42
00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:46,454
Oh, that's me,
Ludmilla Kalashnikova.
43
00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:49,761
One-hundred-percent virgin
mail order bride.
44
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:55,854
Come to me, honeybunch.
Let me hold you to my bosoms.
45
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:03,079
[SCREAMING]
46
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:06,343
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
47
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:09,825
MAN:
♪ The dream got broken
Seemed like all was lost
48
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,609
♪ What would be the future?
49
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,220
♪ Could you pay the cost?
50
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:14,830
♪ You wonder
51
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:18,050
♪ Will there ever be
A second time around?
52
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:21,706
WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
53
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:25,406
♪ When the tears are over
And the moment has come
54
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:29,236
♪ Say, "My Lord
I think I found someone"
55
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:31,281
♪ You know it will be better
56
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,587
'Cause you're
putting it together
57
00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:35,416
♪ For the second time around
58
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:44,512
ALL:
♪ Step by step, day by day
59
00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:46,514
WOMAN:
♪ Day by day
60
00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:49,212
ALL:
♪ A fresh start over
A different hand to play
61
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:50,996
♪ The deeper we fall
62
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,347
♪ The stronger we stay
63
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,262
WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better
64
00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:57,655
MAN:
♪ The second time around ♪
65
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,536
Mom, can you make me
a tuna sandwich?
66
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,538
Mark, can't you make it
yourself?
67
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:13,497
-I'm busy.
-Busy...
68
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,151
Guys, I need you to screen
my calls today.
69
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:16,544
Now, listen, okay.
70
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,241
I'm here if it's
Bobby, Kerry, Jenny
71
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:19,982
Diane or Steve S.
72
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,853
Now, I'm not here
if it's Billy, Jackie, Larry
73
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,768
Joel or Steve P.
74
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,336
Now, if Steve W. calls,
ask me and I'll decide then.
75
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:28,512
Karen! We don't have time
for this.
76
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:29,905
I haven't had time
to go to the bathroom
77
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,211
since 8:00 this morning.
78
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,431
We have a cordless phone.
Take it with you.
79
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:41,046
-Has anybody seen my socks?
-We're a little
busy here, son.
80
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,440
Yeah, they don't have
time for that.
81
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:44,528
Now, listen, I need you guys
to tape Nightlinefor me
tonight, okay?
82
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:45,834
Dana, can't you
do this yourself?
83
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:48,837
[CLAMORING]
84
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:51,970
All right!
85
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,146
[WHISTLES]
Hey!
86
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,324
Now, that's enough!
87
00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,674
Everybody, we're having
a family meeting right now.
88
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,502
Oh, God, another
Brady Bunch moment.
89
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,766
Sit down, blondie.
90
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:08,987
God, what crawled up
their shorts?
91
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,685
Who knows? They're old.
It could be anything.
92
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,732
Karen! Come on down.
93
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,125
All right, you guys.
94
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:17,431
Now, we have something
that we think
95
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,563
it's important
to discuss with you.
96
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,522
Oh, no, you're not having
another kid, are you?
97
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,569
No, as a matter of fact,
we're thinking of getting rid
98
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:27,484
of a couple we already have.
99
00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:28,833
Karen!
100
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:32,315
Oh, is it Steve S.?
101
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,578
Karen, it is not
Steve S., Steve P.,
102
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,406
Steve W. or Steve anybody.
103
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:39,104
Now, just sit down.
We're having a family meeting.
104
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,150
Okay. Hurry,
I'm expecting a call.
105
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,632
[SIGHS]
106
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:48,723
It has come to our attention
that the six of you
107
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:52,683
are either selfish, lazy,
or brain-dead.
108
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:55,599
And Frank and I are tired
of doing things
109
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,297
that the six of you
are perfectly capable
110
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,299
of doing for yourselves.
111
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:01,083
Like what?
112
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,391
Mark, what is your IQ?
113
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:06,436
One hundred and eighty-seven.
114
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,395
Technically, I'm a genius.
115
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:13,922
Do you think there is
any chance, Mr. Genius,
116
00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:17,360
that you could make yourself
a stinking tuna sandwich?
117
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,624
-I guess so.
-Then do it!
118
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,670
[LAUGHING]
Oh, man, she busted you!
119
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,630
Now, now, now, J.T., J.T.
120
00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,806
Now, how old are you, son?
121
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:30,504
I don't know. Nineteen?
122
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,120
That's right, you're 19.
123
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,948
That means you can vote
for the President.
124
00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,297
You can serve
in the Armed Forces.
125
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,517
You can sign a binding contract.
126
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:46,084
You think you can find
your own socks?
127
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,956
So what are you saying?
128
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,306
You're not gonna
help us anymore?
129
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:54,528
No, what we are saying
is that we are your parents.
130
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:57,008
We are not your
answering service,
your short order cooks,
131
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,707
your maid or your finder
of lost socks!
132
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:02,231
That's right, so from now on,
don't bug us unless
133
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:04,233
one of three things
is happening.
134
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,453
Number one, you're bleeding.
135
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,150
Number two, you're in jail,
136
00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:10,152
or number three, you wanna
leave this house forever
137
00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,849
and you need a ride to the bus.
138
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,637
-Can I ask a question?
-Are you bleeding?
139
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:18,378
-No.
-Well, then, we're outta here.
140
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:24,514
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
141
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:30,433
♪ You've got a thing or two
to learn about me, baby
142
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:36,918
♪ 'Cause I ain't taking it no more and I don't mean maybe
143
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:40,051
♪ You don't know
right from wrong
144
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:43,620
♪ Well, the love we had is gone
145
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:48,582
♪ So blame it on your lyin',
cheatin', cold dead beatin'
146
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:51,280
♪ Two-timin', double-dealin'
147
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:54,544
♪ Mean, mistreatin'
lovin' heart
148
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,939
♪ Are you headed
for a heartache?
149
00:06:58,026 --> 00:06:59,897
♪ Oh, yeah
150
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:03,031
♪ Gonna get a bad break
Oh, yeah
151
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:06,469
♪ You made a bad mistake
Oh, yeah
152
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:09,646
♪ You're never gonna find
another love like mine
153
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:15,217
♪ Someone's gonna do you
like you done me, honey
154
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:19,003
♪ And when she does you
like she'll do you
155
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,832
♪ It ain't funny
156
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:25,140
♪ You'll need some sympathy
157
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:28,448
♪ But don't be calling me
158
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:33,409
♪ Hey, blame it on your lyin', cheatin', cold dead beatin'
159
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:36,020
♪ Two-timin', double-dealin'
160
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:40,677
♪ Mean, mistreatin' lovin' heart
161
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:46,248
♪ Yeah, blame it on your lyin', cheatin', cold dead beatin'
162
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,946
♪ Two-timin', double-dealin'
163
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:52,428
♪ Mean, mistreatin'
lovin' heart ♪
164
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,395
So, what do you think, Dana?
165
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,702
I think I just walked
onto the set of Hee Haw.
166
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,750
The guys are helping me
make a demo tape.
167
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:12,970
Karen, no offense to you
and the Beverly Hillbillies
168
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,712
but I just...
I don't get country music.
169
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,323
I mean, I don't know
why you'd wanna sing about
170
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,282
pick-up trucks
and the cheatin' hearts
171
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,545
and your poor old
dead dog and...
172
00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:26,723
Because it is fun.
173
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:30,466
And the guys are gonna help me
become a big country star.
174
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:33,991
Then I'll have
my own fan club,
my own tour bus,
175
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,819
and a stormy marriage
that inspires
176
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,342
an ABC "Movie Of The Week."
177
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:40,911
Karen, what exactly makes
you think that
178
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:43,305
you're gonna be
the queen of country music?
179
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,525
Well, I read an ad
in the paper that said
180
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:48,266
a big record producer
has come to Port Washington
181
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,573
to find new
country singing talent.
182
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:53,141
Big record producers only come
to Port Washington
183
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,359
when their planes crash here.
184
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:59,147
You don't think
I can make it, do you?
185
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:01,366
Not by answering an ad
in the Port Washington Bugle.
186
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:05,457
Fine. Be that way.
187
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,372
If you keep up that attitude,
I'll get Shannen Doherty
188
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:08,983
to play you in the movie.
189
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:14,554
No, look, comrade, dude...
190
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:18,079
I ordered a ham radio,
but you sent me
a woman instead.
191
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,515
No.
192
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:22,518
A woman. You know,
a chick, a babe.
193
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,215
[SCOFFS]
A broadski.
194
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:25,695
[CHUCKLES]
195
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:28,785
No, not a jet ski, a broadski!
196
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,961
Hello? Hello?
197
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:33,877
Dude, that's the last time
I do business with
198
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,750
the former Soviet Union. Ha!
199
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:39,753
Cody, you gotta talk to
this woman. Where is she?
200
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,450
She asked me for my credit card.
201
00:09:41,537 --> 00:09:43,321
She turns around and runs
right down to the mall.
202
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,585
Cody!
203
00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:52,853
Do you know
you only have $2000 limit
on your credit card?
204
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,770
Man, even communist chicks
know how to spend.
205
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:02,253
[CHUCKLES] Cody,
my little pickled herring.
206
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,995
We luck out like
Yeltsin's bartender.
207
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:09,565
Bride magazine has special
fold-out section
208
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:12,481
on most romantic honeymoons.
209
00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:14,483
You like Poconos?
210
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,441
[MUTTERING]
Okay. No. No, no...
211
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:19,314
Listen. Come here.
sit down for a second.
212
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:20,489
Okay.
213
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,491
[SIGHS]
214
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:24,406
There's not gonna be
any wedding.
215
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,581
-[GASPS]
-Okay?
216
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,670
Now, hold the phone, homeboy.
217
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,065
Ludmilla good girl.
218
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,588
You're not going to
get the milk
219
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,459
unless you buy the cow.
220
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,548
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
221
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,074
Now, wait,
hold on, hold on a second.
222
00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:41,249
[CHUCKLES]
223
00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:42,598
I'm not talking about that.
224
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,165
Okay.
225
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,036
What I mean is that, like,
I just don't think
226
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:47,995
we should get married,
you know?
227
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:51,085
I mean... Hey, people
should get married
'cause they're in love.
228
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,522
[CHUCKLES]
Not because of some shipping
and handling error.
229
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:57,482
You know, I was thinking
maybe it'd be better
230
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,181
if you kinda just like,
went on back to Russia.
231
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,269
You know?
232
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:05,403
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah, yeah.
233
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,667
Well, that's a big nyet
to that.
234
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:10,495
I'm in America and
I'm not going back to country
235
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,976
that has toilet paper
that feels like Brillo pad.
236
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:17,807
Okay, so there's
some drawbacks
to living in Russia.
237
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:19,461
But, hey,
look at the bright side.
238
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,724
You guys got a killer
hockey team.
239
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,291
[CHUCKLES]
Come on.
240
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,772
Listen, buster,
there's no turning back now.
241
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:29,079
You send for me, I come,
we get married.
242
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:33,954
Now, Ludmilla going to van
to try on skimpy camisole
243
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,912
for wedding night.
244
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:38,001
No peeking.
[CHUCKLES]
245
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:40,395
Important to keep mystery
in marriage.
246
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:41,918
[CHUCKLES]
247
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:47,881
Oh, dude.
248
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,280
-Brendan. Great news.
-Hey, Jeremy.
249
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,630
My dad got a bunch of tickets
to the Packers game tomorrow
250
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,632
and he's gonna take
the whole soccer team.
251
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,069
Wow! That sounds cool.
252
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:03,548
Yeah, all you gotta do
is get your dad
253
00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:04,985
to sign this permission slip
I got here.
254
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,030
Oh, I don't know
if I wanna bug my dad.
255
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,903
He's kind of been
a butthead lately.
256
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,556
Well, you gotta get your dad
to sign that slip
257
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,384
if you wanna go to the game.
258
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:15,691
Okay, I'll try. I just hope
he doesn't go mental on me.
259
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:22,002
-Hey, Dad.
-Ah. Oh.
260
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:24,700
-What? What is it?
-Can I talk to you
for a second?
261
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,181
[SIGHS]
I'm a little busy here, son.
262
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:29,749
-Hey, Dad!
-What?
263
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:30,924
I need 20 bucks.
264
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,664
Hey, Uncle Frank, dude.
265
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,579
I got a problem, okay?
266
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:37,191
There's like this big
Russian lady
living in my van--
267
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:41,978
Cody, you have all got
to solve these problems
yourselves.
268
00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:43,153
Now, go away. Go on.
269
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:50,204
-Dad?
-What?
270
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:51,988
-Nothing.
-Thank you.
271
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:01,737
I'd like to thank
the Academy of Country Music
272
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:05,175
for giving me this award.
273
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:08,135
And I'd like to send my love
out to my husband, Buddy,
274
00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:11,486
at the Betty Ford Center.
275
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:19,581
Yippee-ki-ay,
it's the Rhinestone Cowgirl.
276
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,757
You know, Dana,
you can joke all you want.
277
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:25,587
But I took my tape down
to that record producer
and he loved it.
278
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:27,154
In fact, he's sending out demos
279
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:29,417
to all the major
record companies.
280
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:31,375
All it cost me was $500.
[CHUCKLES]
281
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:38,861
Karen, you gave $500 to some
sleazy record producer?
282
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,602
He is not sleazy!
283
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,560
He had a very nice hotel room
by the airport.
284
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:48,523
You gave your life savings
to a guy you don't even know?
285
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:52,396
Yeah. I hate to say this
but you got majorly ripped off.
286
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,484
You guys just
do not believe that
287
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:55,225
I have the talent to make it.
288
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:57,053
No, it's just that you can't
go around handing money
289
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,359
to the first stranger--
290
00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:00,665
Yeah, yeah, okay,
I know, I know.
291
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:03,320
It's a million-to-one shot
for anybody to make it.
292
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:06,149
But this producer thinks
that I'm great, okay?
293
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:07,803
And if you don't believe me,
I'll get him on the phone
294
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,196
and you can ask him yourself.
295
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,549
[KEYPAD BEEPING]
296
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:19,162
Marty Green's room please.
297
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,820
Oh, that's impossible.
He can't have checked out.
298
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,169
He was supposed to be here
all week.
299
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:31,914
Well, did he leave a message
for Karen Foster?
300
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,785
Well, do you have a number
where I can reach him?
301
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:39,400
Yeah, I see.
302
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:40,749
Thanks, bye.
303
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:45,754
[SIGHS]
304
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:54,328
Look, Karen...
I'm really sorry.
305
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,635
Just leave me alone.
306
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,031
[DOOR SLAMS]
307
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,207
[VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING]
308
00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:25,620
I'm living with pigs.
309
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,100
[DOORBELL RINGS]
310
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:35,543
-Hey, Frank.
-Oh, hey, Bill.
311
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:36,936
What's goin' on here?
312
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,807
I'm taking the team
to a Packers game today.
313
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:41,766
Well, Brendan never
mentioned it to us.
314
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:44,073
Oh, um, he can't go.
315
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,684
He's... He's busy today.
316
00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:49,383
We gotta get some equipment
from his room
for practice tomorrow.
317
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,080
Oh, sure, go on.
Come on in, Bill.
318
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,386
Oh, thanks.
319
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:55,519
Boy, that's really weird.
320
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,521
Brendan should've mentioned
the game to us.
321
00:15:57,608 --> 00:15:59,436
He loves the Packers.
322
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,786
Yeah, it sounded weird to me
too, but you know kids.
323
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,875
They got a million things
goin' on. Who can keep up?
324
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,574
[THUDDING]
325
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:08,576
[GROANING]
326
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:18,499
Okay, we got the soccer balls.
Bye, Mr. Lambert.
327
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,936
Yeah, hold on there,
boys. Uh...
328
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:24,070
I think
you may have just killed
one of your soccer balls.
329
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:25,332
Excuse me, son.
330
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,992
-Hello!
-Hi, Dad.
331
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:36,125
I know you're really busy, so
why don't I just go upstairs?
332
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,040
Yeah, why don't you
just stay right here?
333
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,824
Okay, come on, guys.
Let's go on outside
334
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:42,088
and let, uh, Brendan here
talk with his dad.
335
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,872
[BRENDAN SIGHS]
336
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,743
Thanks.
337
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,049
Ah-ah-ah, come on.
338
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,356
Sit down.
339
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:55,492
So, you, uh, wanna tell me
what's goin' on?
340
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,712
Well, I wanted to
go to the game
341
00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:59,888
but I needed you to sign
the permission slip.
342
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,716
Well, why didn't you ask me?
343
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:04,936
I tried to but you were really
busy and we had that meeting
344
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,331
about how I'm not supposed to
bug you and stuff.
345
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:10,855
Oh...
346
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:15,643
Well, son, I think I owe you
an apology about that.
347
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:19,647
Eh, Carol and I want you guys
to find your own socks,
348
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:23,433
make your own sandwiches,
but when it comes
to important stuff,
349
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,522
you gotta know
you can come to us.
350
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:28,308
Well, how do I know
what stuff's important?
351
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,788
Hmm. Well, I'll tell you what.
352
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:33,791
If you, uh...
If you don't know for sure
353
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:36,838
then you come and ask us
and we'll tell you, huh?
354
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:40,450
We're your parents, son.
I mean that's what
we're here for.
355
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:41,973
In the meantime,
I think you should go enjoy
356
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,540
your Packers game, huh?
Go on, take off.
357
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,629
Hey, Dad, can I have some money
for a hot dog?
358
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:49,807
Oh. Oh, I saw five dollars
down here. Hang on.
359
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:52,854
Oh, yeah, here. Here's five
dollars and here's your hat.
360
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:55,465
And, oh! Ah-ha! By golly,
there's your retainer.
361
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,339
Have a good time. Yeah.
362
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:06,476
Cody, man, you've gotta
think of something.
363
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,174
There's no way you can marry
this Russian woman.
364
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,785
Yeah. Okay, I got it.
365
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:12,700
I'll tell Ludmilla
I can't marry her because
366
00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,005
I'm gonna become a priest.
367
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,530
[CHUCKLES]
368
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:19,446
It's not gonna work.
She's gonna find out
your lying.
369
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:22,623
Well, not if I really
become a priest.
370
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:25,669
Cody, I have wonderful news
for you!
371
00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:27,976
Hey, hey! You're gonna give me
back my credit card?
372
00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:29,412
Even better.
373
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,980
I was down at the Golden Arches
374
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,156
when I saw
the man of my dreams.
375
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:35,679
Ronald McDonald?
376
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:40,771
No, Sergei. What a hunk!
377
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:44,688
A combination Dolph Lundgren
and Bob Saget.
378
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:50,955
Hey, Ludmilla, is this
your way of giving me
the old heave-ho?
379
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:53,262
Totally! [CHUCKLING]
380
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:56,483
Sergei is naturalized citizen.
He's making me real American.
381
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,225
You're off the hook, big guy.
382
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:02,576
Ludmilla, dudesy,
congratulations.
383
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:03,751
All right!
384
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,146
[CHUCKLES]
385
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:10,236
I'd love to stay and chat
but Sergei is waiting outside
386
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,499
in a new Lexus Coupe.
387
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:14,327
With gold package
and premium sound system.
388
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,026
-Goodbye, Codeman.
-Goodbye.
389
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:28,167
Now you know
how we stay warm all winter.
[CHUCKLES]
390
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,820
Eat your heart out, baby.
391
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:31,039
[CHUCKLES]
392
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:37,045
-All right! Well done!
-Dude, thanks.
393
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,439
I am no longer under
Russian domination.
394
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:40,527
Yup.
395
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,405
[SYRUP SQUIRTS]
396
00:19:52,452 --> 00:19:53,931
DANA: Karen!
397
00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:55,803
Karen!
398
00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:59,981
What are you doing?
399
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,592
Well, I'm too young
to get drunk, so,
400
00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:03,767
thought I'd just get fat.
401
00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:09,904
Well, I have got
a little something
402
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:12,167
that I think is going
to cheer you up.
403
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:14,474
What?
404
00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:17,128
Well, I know how much
you like country music.
405
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,131
So, I made a little request
for you. Come on.
406
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:24,527
Come on.
407
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,486
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
408
00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:32,100
MAN ON RADIO: You know, a little while ago, somebody dropped off
409
00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:35,103
a tape of a local gal singing a Patty Loveless tune.
410
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:37,366
The artist's name
is Karen Foster
411
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:40,064
and I think this little lady
is goin' places.
412
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:41,762
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING
ON RADIO]
413
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,375
That's my song.
How'd they get that?
414
00:20:48,072 --> 00:20:49,117
I took it down there.
415
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,903
You did? Why?
416
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:55,471
Well, I know I made fun of you,
417
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,778
you know, about the whole
country music thing.
418
00:20:57,865 --> 00:21:00,476
But I listened
to your demo and...
419
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,391
You're really talented.
I think you're really good.
420
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:05,046
Really?
421
00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:07,788
Well, yeah! I mean,
just listen to yourself.
422
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:10,878
♪ Your lyin', cheatin',
cold dead beatin'
423
00:21:10,965 --> 00:21:13,663
♪ Two-timin',
double-dealin'
424
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:16,405
♪ Mean, mistreatin'
lovin' heart
425
00:21:18,538 --> 00:21:20,279
♪ Are you headed
for a heartache?
426
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:21,932
♪ Oh, yeah
427
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:25,153
♪ Gonna get a bad break
Oh, yeah
428
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,069
♪ You made a bad mistake
Oh, yeah ♪
429
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:35,555
♪ You've got a thing or two
to learn about me, baby
430
00:21:35,642 --> 00:21:42,083
♪ 'Cause I ain't taking it no more and I don't mean maybe
431
00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:45,086
♪ You don't know
right from wrong
432
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:48,481
♪ Well, the love we had is gone
433
00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:51,310
♪ So blame it on your lyin'
434
00:21:51,397 --> 00:21:53,703
♪ Cheatin', cold dead beatin'
435
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:54,791
♪ Two-timin'
436
00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:56,227
♪ Double-dealin'
437
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,838
♪ Mean, mistreatin'
438
00:21:57,925 --> 00:22:00,710
♪ Lovin' heart
439
00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:04,018
♪ Yeah, blame it on your lyin'
440
00:22:04,105 --> 00:22:06,368
♪ Cheatin', cold dead beatin'
441
00:22:06,455 --> 00:22:09,153
♪ Two-timin',
double-dealin'
442
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:13,070
♪ Mean, mistreatin'
loving heart ♪
32816
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