All language subtitles for Step.By.Step.S04E20.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[WHISPERING] Frank.

Frank, wake up.

I'm sorry,
from the back,
you both look the same.

What, honey?

Frank, I think I hear
strange footsteps
in the house.

Mommy.

Where are you, Mommy?

I need you.

Oh, he must be sleepwalking.

Aw, jeez.

Hey, Mommy,
I'm really scared tonight.

Can I sleep
with you and Daddy?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Now, no, no, no.

Mommy, I love you and Daddy.

-[GRUNTS]
-[LAUGHS]

That does it.

I'm waking him up
and he's getting out of here.

No, Frank!
You can't wake up
a sleepwalker.

It can cause severe
trauma and confusion.

Carol, it's Cody.
Who's gonna notice
the difference?

Cody?

Yes, Mommy?

Yeah, Cody,
how old are you, Cody?

-I'm this many.
-Ah!

He thinks he's five years old.

Yeah, I can see that.

Well, five years old,
is a big boy.

And big boys sleep
in their own...

vans.

-Come on,
go to sleep in your van.
-Okay.

Here we go.
[CHUCKLES] Whoopee.

-Hey, Daddy.
-Huh?

Would you sing me
a song and tuck me in?

Now, you're getting
on my nerves.

Come on, Frank.

[CRYING]

All right! Oh!
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

We'll sing a song.

-♪ Itsy bitsy spider
-♪ Itsy bitsy spider

♪ Went up the waterspout

[LAUGHS]

♪ Down came the rain
and washed the spider out ♪

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

MAN:
♪ The dream got broken

♪ Seemed like all was lost

♪ What would be the future?

♪ Could you pay the cost?

♪ You wonder

♪ Will there ever be

♪ A second time around?

WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a

♪ When the tears are over

♪ And the moment has come

♪ Say, "My Lord
I think I found someone"

♪ You know it will be better

♪ 'Cause you're
putting it together

♪ For the second time around

ALL:
♪ Step by step, day by day

WOMAN:
♪ Day by day

ALL:
♪ A fresh start over

♪ A different hand to play

♪ The deeper we fall

♪ The stronger we stay

WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better

MAN:
♪ Second time around ♪

So, as you've probably
found in your readings,

Plato and Nietzsche
weren't just philosophers,

they were pioneers
in the field of ethics.

Okay, that's all for today.

I've graded your papers.
You can pick them up
on the way out.

[GROANING]

Mmm-hmm, groaning,
that's exactly what I did when
I read most of your papers.

But happily,
one did stand out.

So much so that
I gave it an A+.

Okay, see you Thursday.

[CHUCKLES]

Gee, an A+.

I wonder
who could've gotten that?

Maybe it's me.

Yeah, right, you don't
even know how to spell "A+."

All right, fine, you got
the highest grade
in the class.

You're still stuck
with that face.

-[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
-[LAUGHS MOCKINGLY]

Thank you, Professor Flynn.

You're welcome, Ms. Foster.

J.T., you did a great job
on this paper.

Thank you.

You keep this up, and
you could end up being
my favorite student.

You gave me an A+.

Oh, man, I haven't
gotten one of these
since Coloring.

[LAUGHS]

So, Dana, how's that A+, huh?

[SIGHS] I can't believe this.
She gave me a B.

I mean, I'm
the smartest person in there.

If I didn't get the A+,
then who did?

Gee, I don't know.

Could it be... me?

[LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY]

-Give me that.
-Yeah.

You got an A+?

That's right, Barky.
Eat my GPA.

This stinks.

I'm going back there
and I'm talking
to Professor Flynn about this.

You do that.

I'm gonna
get this thing framed.

No, I'm not seeing
Phil anymore.

Actually, there's
a new guy that
I'm very interested in.

[LAUGHS] No, he's a student.
His name is J.T.

I know he's young.

But I can't help it.
He's got a cute butt.

"Cute butt"?

Yeah, I buttered him up
by giving him an A+

and tonight, I'm going
to invite him over to my place

and show him the true meaning
of "teacher's pet."

[GIGGLES]

I'm telling you Al,
when I get this barbecue
put together,

I'll be able to cook
400 hot dogs in an hour.

That's great, Dad.

Yeah, bud.

What's all this?

Dad's becoming
the Wiener King.

Oh, honey, I'm telling you,
I got the deal of the century

on the top of the line,
outdoor, meat grilling system.

I mean, it's got
three cooking surfaces,

a smoker, a rotisserie,
and enough propane
to launch a rocket.

Frank, why on earth
do we need
the "mother of all barbecues?"

You're not a man, are you?

You just don't understand
the beauty, honey,

of 15,000 BTUs
scorching their way through
a hunk of raw meat.

Now, that's manly.

I'm telling you, honey,
when I get
this bad boy fired up,

you'll be able to shove a cow
in one end, and get burgers
and steaks out of the other.

Yeah, and you're putting
this inferno
together yourself?

Uh-huh, you betcha.

Don't you think you oughtta
even look at the directions?

[CHUCKLES] Honey, directions
are for people who have
no idea what they're doing.

Wouldn't that be you?

[CLICKS TONGUE]
Carol, I am a contractor.
I build houses.

How tough can a barbecue be?

Yeah, well, that's what
you said when you fixed
the water heater

and you blew off
the side of the house.

[SCOFFS]

Women.

"Intermittent flow
restrictor valve."

[SCOFFS]

[CHUCKLES]

J.T., I just want you
to know I was right.

You didn't deserve that A+.

[CHUCKLES]
Dana, babe, let it go, huh.

If you keep harping on this,
you're just gonna wind up
a bitter old hag.

Oh! It's too late.
[LAUGHS]

For your information,

the only reason
you got that A+

is because the professor
wants to seduce you.

Get out of here.

I overheard her on the phone.

She's going to invite you
to her apartment tonight

for a little horizontal
teacher's conference.

Yeah, right, Dana.

Not only does this gorgeous
babe give me an A+, but she
also wants to jump my bones?

[SCOFFS] Yeah, right, Dana.
I should be so lucky.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Yeah, this is J.T.

Hi, Professor Flynn.

Oh!

[WHISPERS]
I told you! I told you!

Sure, I'd be happy
to help you do some research.

Oh!
Research!

Right, right.
315 Sycamore Lane,

-Apartment 207.
-[SCOFFS]

All right. Yeah, fine.
See you at 8:00.

-Bye.
-Ah!

See?

My God, Dana, you were right.

She wants to get me
over there so she can
have her way with me.

Yes! Yes!
Touchdown!

You the man!

I can't believe
you're going to do this.

What's so hard
to believe, Dana?

I'll get great grades
in school,

a little hands on
tutoring at night.

I'm not seeing
a down side here, Dana.

J.T., I know this seems like
your dream come true,

but your first time
should be something special.

It should be
with somebody that you love.

[SCOFFS] And who says
this is my first time?

Okay, it's my first time.

But... But so what, Dana?

I've been to the zoo,
I know what goes where.

J.T., I never thought
I would say this, but
you are not a zoo animal.

Sex is a lot more
than "what goes where."

[SIGHS] It's about feelings
and emotions and intimacy.

If you sleep with this woman
that you barely know,

it'll be cheap,
tawdry, and loveless.

I mean, is that what you want
for your first memory of love?

Yeah, buddy!

[LAUGHS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi.

Hi.

Come on in.

Wow, Professor Flynn,
you look a lot different
than you do in class.

[CHUCKLES]

Listen, why don't you
call me by my first name.

Which is?

Heather.

Heather, you mean
like Locklear?

Exactly.

Wow!

Would you, uh, like some wine?

Sure. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

[UNCORKS BOTTLE]

So, you're a teacher, huh?

That's right.

Wow, that's great.

I've had a lot of teachers.

No, I don't mean, "had"
in the biblical sense,

I mean, I was just
in their class, yeah.

Look, you seem
a little nervous.

You know, there's
no reason to be.

Nervous?
No way, I'm not nervous.

[LAMP CLATTERING]

[CHUCKLES]

So,

what's this research project
you wanted to
talk to me about?

J.T., I have a
confession to make.

I didn't invite you
over here to do research.

I invited you because...

I find you very...

very attractive.

Wow, I think
you're great looking, too.

As a matter of fact, you are
the prettiest teacher I've had

since Ms. Bostock
in kindergarten.

-Oh, man, that was lame.
-No.

Actually, it was very sweet.

But I guarantee after tonight,

you're gonna forget
all about Ms. Bostock,

because I'm going to
teach you things you never
learned in grade school.

[COUGHS]

That's great.
But, uh, I thought
we'd talk first.

Well, I'd rather do this.

[CHUCKLES] Oh.

That was great, too...

but if we're gonna get
friendly, and you obviously
want to get friendly,

then, uh, maybe we should
get to know each other, huh?

Yeah.

Well, I already
know everything
I need to know about you.

You're here and you're cute.

Okay, I'll talk first.

I was born in Sheboygan.
I have a hobby,
I like fishing.

Do you like fishing?

Shut up, J.T.

Oh, I caught my first
big mouth bass
when I was nine.

Ah! Do you know...

Do you know why they call it
a big mouth bass?

I don't care.

[GROANS] You know,

it's getting
just a tad bit warm in here.

I can definitely
take care of that.

Hey, look, look, hey.
I think I want to stop.

Why?

[SIGHS]
I don't think I can do this.

Don't you want me?

[SCOFFS] More than
my next five minutes
of oxygen.

Then what's the problem?

[SIGHS]

I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but I don't want
to sleep with you.

[SIGHS] I told you,
you don't have to be nervous.

Just relax and
I'll take care of everything.

[WHIMPERS]

Oh, God, I know we don't
talk much, but I could
use your help right now.

Look, look, look, I got to
get out of here before I do
something I'm gonna regret.

Are you sure?

No, that's why I'm leaving.

Oh, man.

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

This is all your fault, Dana.

What are you talking about?

[SCOFFS]
Oh, like you don't know.

[IN MOCKING VOICE]
"Your first time should
be something special.

"It should be with somebody
you really love."

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Yeah, right.
Thanks for putting all that
junk in my head, Dana.

You ruined my night.

You mean, you didn't have sex?

Do I look like
a man that had sex?

J.T., I am amazed.

Despite the fact
that temptation was
staring you in the face,

you actually
did the right thing.

I mean... I mean, here is
this gorgeous woman,

and all she wants to do
is have sex with you.

I mean,
she's practically saying,

"Here, take me.

"Rip off all my clothes.

"Do whatever you want with me.

"I mean, let your
hands roam free..."

Dana, Dana, you don't
have to paint me a picture.

I was there.

Oh, man, I don't even want
to talk about it anymore.

I'm gonna go upstairs
and take a very nice,
long, cold shower.

Oh, man.

J.T.?

What?

I don't know if this
means anything to you,

but based on
the decision you made tonight,

you definitely deserve
an A+ in ethics.

Yeah, right, Dana.
I'm a saint.

Great.

But do me a favor.

The next time a gorgeous babe
throws herself at me,

keep your mouth shut.

-No, no, no, honey,
I want you to see it work.
-Okay, okay.

Come on, everybody!

Hey, Cody, Son, come here.
I want you to see it work.

Ah, well, there it is.

The Meatmaster 5,000.

Wow, Dad,
that looks pretty cool.

Yeah, well, Son,
some day this'll all be yours.

Hey, Frank, what are
all these extra parts for?

Ah, who knows?

Frank, they look
kind of important.

Hey, Carol, let me explain
to you how this works, okay?

At the factory, they give
a part-time job to some
dopey college kid.

He doesn't
have anything to do,

so he puts a lot
of extra parts in a bag
and throws them in a box.

It's not important.
Okay?

You ready?

Gas on.

Ignition.

[GAS HISSING]

CODY: Whoa.

-Huh? Huh? Huh?
-Let's go.

[ALL SCREAMING]

CAROL: Frank, look at that!

[ALL SCREAMING]

[CLAMORING]

[FIRE EXTINGUISHER HISSING]

Just guessing here,
but I think this baby might
be the fuel regulator.

[SCREAMING]

Who's there?

It's me, Mommy,
we're gonna have to hurry.

Oh, God,
it's Baby Huey, again.

Yeah, I'll help you pack.

Now, let's see,

we're gonna need a nightgown.

We're gonna have to hurry
if we're gonna get you
to the hospital on time.

I'll meet you in the car.

We can't let him
take the car, Frank.

He could drive it off a cliff.

Well, honey, it's not like
we don't have another car.

-Frank, would you go wake him.
-Yeah, okay.

-And do it gently.
-Okay.

Hey, uh, Cody.

Yes, Daddy?

Cody.

I love you, Daddy.

Cody!

Whoa, Uncle Frank.

Yeah.

Carol, hey.

Whoa.

Was I sleepwalking again?

Yes.

Whew!
Why do I keep doing that?

Well, I don't know, pal.

But you were talking
like a five-year-old, again.

You know, one of my [YAWNS]
customers at the shop told me,

you know, that
sometimes people sleepwalk

when they're trying
to work out a problem
in their subconscious.

You know, maybe something
traumatic happened to you
when you were five years old.

Well, the only thing
that happened to me that year

was my baby sister was born
in the back of a cab
and I was there to see it.

[CHUCKLES]

Man, there was birth goo
all over the place. [LAUGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

I thought
my mom was going to die.

I thought my baby sister
was going to die, too.

I thought my Dad was
going to lose his mind.

And then I'd be like this
poor little five-year-old kid,

all alone in the world,
with no family, you know.

Why would
that traumatize anybody?

Cody, that's it.

You had this horrible
experienceas a kid

and now you're worried
that I won't get
to the hospital in time.

Whoa, moment of clarity.

Hey, now I know
why I've been sleepwalking.

Cody, you know,
that must have been a really
scary thing for you as a kid.

But, you know,
your sister turned out fine.

And your parents
are fine, too.

Yeah.
And listen, don't worry, pal.

I'm gonna make sure
that Carol gets
to the hospital on time.

Wow, that's good news
for me. [LAUGHS]

Good news for your
auto upholstery, too.

Yeah, well,
I'll tell you what.

We've all had
a real busy night.

Why don't we all just,
you know, turn in
and get some sleep.

We'll all just go to sleep.

Yeah, I'd love to,
Uncle Frank,

but I'll tell you, you know,

you guys opened
the flood gates to all my
childhood memories, you know.

-Oh.
-Uh-oh, incoming trauma.

Dude, I remember
when I was six...

Man, I went to go visit
my cousin's farm, you know.

And I was gonna milk the cow,
but I accidently
tried to milk the bull.

[CHUCKLES]

Needless to say,
he was not too pleased
with the whole thing.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, when I was seven
I went to go visit my grandma.

CODY: I accidentally walked in on her in the shower.[SHUDDERING] Oh, boy.

I thought
that bull was ugly...

[CODY GROANS]