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1
00:00:00,957 --> 00:00:04,091
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:05,962
This is Cody's idea
of a movie set?
3
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:09,444
This is so cheesy.
4
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:12,490
C'mon, he needs our help
making a movie
for his filmmaking class.
5
00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:15,450
Okay, people, listen up.
6
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:16,668
Quiet on the set.
7
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,242
Lights, camera, action.
8
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,114
Hey, call my agent.
9
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:28,767
Tell him to set up
an appointment
with Bobby DeNiro.
10
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,554
I love being a director.
[LAUGHS]
11
00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:34,947
Okay, Cody,
what's my job
in the movie?
12
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,820
Okay, Mark,
you're the Assistant Director,
Executive Producer
13
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,909
and Vice President
In charge of production.
14
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,259
Wow, what do I do?
15
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,434
Serve lemonade.
16
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,744
Now, the rest of you people,
you're all gonna be actors.
17
00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:52,182
JT, you play Dick Ratface,
the evil pet shop owner.
18
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:56,317
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Dick Ratface?
19
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,276
Can't I have more
of a studly name,
like Rocky or Rambo?
20
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:03,193
Okay. From now on,
you're Rambo Ratface.
21
00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:06,414
Hey, Brendan.
22
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:08,546
Now you're gonna
play Little Timmy,
23
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:13,290
whose lifelong dream it is
to have his very own goldfish.
24
00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:16,337
Can I be the sensitive
but sultry heroine
25
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:20,080
who nurses Tom Cruise
back to health in a PG-13
sort of way?
26
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:23,605
Close.
27
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,781
You're going to play
the femme fatale.
28
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:28,218
You're beautiful,
you're dangerous.
29
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:31,743
You light up the screen.
Every man wants you.
30
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,049
Ooh. [LAUGHS]
31
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,616
What's my character's name?
32
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,008
Customer Number One.
33
00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:40,491
Cody, what's my character?
34
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:43,886
Okay, you're Maria Consuelo
Valencia De Benedictis.
35
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:46,845
Cool, who's that?
36
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:48,282
Customer number two.
37
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,851
Okay, people, we're gonna
rehearse scene one.
38
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,331
Now, we open
on Rambo Ratface
39
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:56,203
who's selfishly
eating a banana
40
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,553
while a hungry monkey
looks on sadly.
41
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,076
Now...
42
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:03,601
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy!
43
00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:05,255
We're trying to make
a movie here, huh?
44
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,692
All right.
45
00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:10,913
Now, in the foreground,
Little Timmy's counting out
his pennies, all right?
46
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,916
While Maria Consuelo
is trying to pick out
a lizard,
47
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,570
and customer number one
is trying to decide
48
00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:18,050
between a kitten
and a puppy, all right?
49
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,661
Places everybody.
50
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,793
Let's go.
51
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,666
Lights, camera and action.
52
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,972
Uh, Cody,
don't we need a script?
53
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:28,452
And cut!
54
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:29,671
Okay, that's lunch.
55
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:33,631
Dude, I gotta go outside
and write a script.
56
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,508
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
57
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:43,859
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
58
00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,077
MAN:
♪ The dream got broken
59
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,905
♪ Seemed like all was lost
60
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,690
♪ What would be the future?
61
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,518
♪ Could you pay the cost?
62
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:51,693
♪ You wonder
63
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,434
♪ Will there ever be
64
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,262
♪ A second time around?
65
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:58,613
WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
66
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,267
♪ When the tears are over
67
00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,443
♪ And the moment has come
68
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:06,229
♪ Say, "My Lord
I think I found someone"
69
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,883
♪ You know it will be better
70
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,841
♪ 'Cause you're
putting it together
71
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:12,670
♪ For the second time around
72
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,723
ALL:
♪ Step by step, day by day
73
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:23,028
WOMAN:
♪ Day by day
74
00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:24,378
ALL:
♪ A fresh start over
75
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,162
♪ A different hand to play
76
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,077
♪ The deeper we fall
77
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:30,340
♪ The stronger we stay
78
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,342
WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better
79
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,562
MAN:
♪ Second time around ♪
80
00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:53,102
[DOORBELL RINGS]
81
00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:54,712
I'll get it. It's for me.
82
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,978
I got a extra-large pizza
with ham, anchovies...Yeah, it's for me.
83
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:01,284
Thanks. Bye.
84
00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:07,290
Oh, what is that?
85
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:10,337
Oh, just a pizza with ham,
anchovies, pickles, pineapple,
and Gummi Bears.
86
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:15,342
Oh, yeah,
you're one of those women
87
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:18,345
who only eats
weird, exotic foods
when you're pregnant.
88
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,216
No. When I'm pregnant,
I eat anything.
89
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:24,351
Hi, guys. See you later.
90
00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:26,701
What? Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you going?
91
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,616
On a date.
92
00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:31,009
Well, would you like
to tell me about him?
93
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,100
No. Bye.
94
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:37,973
Hey-a, whoa.
Now wait a minute,
girlie-girl, whoa-oh.
95
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,583
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon.
96
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:43,283
You know the rules.
97
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,285
You have to tell your mother
about this guy
98
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,287
or she'll have me follow you
in a car all night.
99
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:53,641
Okay.
His name is Paul Gilbert.
100
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:56,121
He works at a bookstore
near the college.
101
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:59,211
He doesn't drink,
smoke, swear,
102
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,779
or talk with his mouth full.
103
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:04,086
He has clean fingernails,
good posture,
104
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:07,394
and he knows
the Heimlich maneuver
in case of emergency.
105
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:09,787
You may go.
106
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,572
Thank you.
107
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,095
Hey, Dana.
108
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:15,315
Oh, I hear you're dating
a 36-year-old guy.
109
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:19,884
Thirty-six-year-old guy?
110
00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:26,021
Did I forget to mention that?
111
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,982
Al, Karen, let's step
out of the ring.
112
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:32,636
I think I heard the bell
for round number one. C'mon.
113
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:34,769
Sorry.
114
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:43,473
Mom, what is the big deal?
I'm going out with a guy.
115
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,998
Yeah, well, I just don't see
why you can't find somebody
closer to your own age?
116
00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:50,785
Because, Mom, the guys my age
are immature dimwits.[SIGHS]
117
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:55,572
Their idea of a good time
is drinking beer and peeing
off the water tower.
118
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,795
Paul is different.
He reads books.
119
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,318
We can talk about things.
120
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,494
He's a mature guy.
121
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:05,843
Yeah, well,
that's what bothers me.
122
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,454
Mature guys
have mature ideas
123
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:08,977
and I don't want you
getting any.
124
00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:10,587
Ideas.
125
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,722
Mom... [CHUCKLES]
126
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:17,855
You don't have to worry
about me having premarital...
127
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,596
Ideas.
128
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,032
Yeah, well,
I will tell you one thing,
129
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,426
there is no way
a relationship can work
130
00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:27,256
with a 19-year-old girl
and a 36-year-old man.
131
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:31,478
Mom, look, I know
that you like to think
of me as a child,
132
00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,958
but the fact of the matter is,
133
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:37,135
I'm perfectly capable of
taking care of my own life
134
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,963
without help from you.
135
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,763
[SIGHS]
136
00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:09,080
I'm kind of nervous
about meeting your friends.
137
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,821
Oh, don't worry,
you'll love them.
138
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,649
They're gonna love you.
139
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,695
[CHUCKLING]
140
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,740
I can't believe
my mother said
141
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:19,221
a relationship
with an older guy
wouldn't work.
142
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:20,962
Yeah, you know,
my ex-wife said
143
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:22,572
that dating a younger woman
was crazy.
144
00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,052
But you know, I say,
age doesn't matter.
145
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,706
I mean, so what
if you're only 20?
146
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,230
Nineteen.
147
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,797
Nineteen.
148
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,668
Well, I mean,
what is age, really?
149
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,627
[LAUGHS]
150
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,629
A number.
Exactly. It doesn't
define a person.
151
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:39,371
Absolutely. What matters
is that we have
so much in common.
152
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,592
Right. The age thing
doesn't bother me one bit.
Does it bother you?
153
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,377
[SCOFFING] I don't even think
about the age thing.
154
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,988
I don't think
about it, either.
155
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,512
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
156
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,296
[CHUCKLES] Well,
that must be them.
157
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:52,428
[SIGHS]
158
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:57,651
Hey!
Hello!
159
00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,609
[ALL GREETING]
How are you?
160
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,089
Oh, nice coat.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
161
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:02,656
Everybody, I want you
to meet Dana Foster.
162
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,658
Dana, this is my brother, Jim,
and his wife, Molly.
163
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:06,703
And these are my friends,
Andy and Nancy.
164
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,183
You know, Andy,
he teaches biology
165
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,706
at East Wisconsin University.
166
00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:11,752
It's nice to meet you.
And what do you do?
167
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,146
I'm a student.
168
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:17,584
I'm in your class,
Professor...
169
00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:21,936
Andy.
170
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,894
[ALL LAUGHING]
How about that, Paul?
171
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:27,071
Small world.
You're dating
one of my students.
172
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,856
Not that there's
anything wrong
with dating a student.
173
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,684
Oh, no!
174
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,337
I mean,
I wouldn't date a student.
175
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,165
But that's just because
I'm married.Right.
176
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:36,559
Not because I think
that it's creepy
or anything.
177
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:40,258
I don't mean creepy, creepy.
I mean, that, um...
178
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:41,608
Hey, I have an idea.
179
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:42,913
Why don't we all
get some wine and cheese
180
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,047
while Andy gets his foot
out of his mouth?
181
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:48,745
Hey, I'd love some wine.
How about you, Dana?
182
00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:50,225
Um, no thanks.
183
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,270
Oh, that's right,
you're underage.
184
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:55,796
I mean, you know,
for the wine,
not to, uh, date Paul.
185
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,889
Oh, Paul,
I wanted to show you
a picture I found
186
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:03,325
when we were
cleaning out the attic.
187
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:04,587
Oh, you're gonna love this.
188
00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:05,849
Oh, no.
[ALL LAUGHING]
189
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:08,373
Oh, no, God.
Seventies flashback.
190
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,288
I look like one of
the Bee Gees in here.
191
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:13,422
Dana, take a look
at this. This is Jim
and Molly's wedding.
192
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:15,119
It was a disco theme.
193
00:09:16,077 --> 00:09:17,339
Disco?
194
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:18,949
How could anybody
listen to that stuff?
195
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,256
[INDISTINCT ARGUING]
196
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,911
Don't you remember
The Village People?ALL: Oh!
197
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,652
Wha, wha, wha, wha, wha.
198
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:29,003
♪ It's fun to stay
at the Y.M.C.A.
199
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:32,876
♪ It's fun to stay
at the Y.M.C.A.
200
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,486
♪ You can get yourself clean
201
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,966
♪ You can have a good meal
202
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:39,100
♪ You can do
whatever you feel
203
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:42,016
♪ Young man,
there's no reason
to feel down
204
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:44,322
♪ I say, young man,
get yourself off the ground
205
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:47,369
♪ I say, young man,
'cause you're in a new town
206
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:50,546
♪ There's no need
to be unhappy ♪
207
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,895
ALL:
Wha, wha, wha, wha, wha.
208
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:01,078
This stinks.
Where are all
the dirty parts?
209
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:04,995
Mom tears them out.
210
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:10,218
Oh, great, now I'll never
know how Lady Katherine
211
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:12,220
repaid the stable boy
for his kindness.
212
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,486
Oh, good, you're home.
213
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:20,228
You've got to tell me
all about dating
an older man.
214
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:23,666
I wanna hear every detail.
215
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,625
Yeah, and don't leave out
any juicy parts.
216
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:31,021
Well, it didn't go
exactly as I'd hoped.
217
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:34,982
[SIGHS] All his friends
were so much older than me,
218
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:37,462
I felt completely
out of place.
219
00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:40,988
I actually saw
one of my professors
disco dancing.
220
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:44,644
Like...
♪ Y.M.C.A.
221
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:48,169
♪ It's fun to stay
at the Y.M.C.A. ♪
222
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,476
Disco?
223
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,957
That, that's like
from the '70s.
224
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,829
How old were these people?
225
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,789
They were in their 40s.
226
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:01,573
And they were dancing?
227
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,707
Ew, that's gross.
228
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,842
I guess Mom is right.
This guy is too old for you.
229
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,583
He's not too old for me.
230
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,411
It's fine when we're alone.
231
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:15,762
It was just weird because
all his friends were there.
232
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:18,286
I don't know, Dana.
233
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:23,508
I mean, there's something
about you dating an older guy
that just seems bizarre.
234
00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:28,122
Oh, God, this isn't
one of those sick
father fixation things, is it?
235
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:30,951
You know, I saw a TV movie
about that one time,
236
00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:34,432
where Heather Locklear
had to kiss Buddy Ebsen.
237
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:39,046
Paul is not Buddy Ebsen.
238
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:43,180
He's only 36.
239
00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:46,401
This relationship can work.
It's gonna work
240
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,708
and I don't care
what anybody says,
241
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,622
age doesn't make
a difference.
242
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,468
Come on, honey,
you don't wanna miss
the start of Cody's movie.
243
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:13,645
Wow, my,
that looks wonderful.
244
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,257
Pot stickers, egg rolls,
paperwrapped chicken.
245
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:17,693
Oh, the kids
are gonna love this.
246
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,739
Uh-uh, it's not for them.
It's for me.
247
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,524
I made them popcorn.
248
00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:29,096
Well, I had a little craving
for Chinese food.
249
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,930
Okay, Cody, we're ready
for the start of the movie.
250
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,932
Ooh, Chinese food.
251
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,195
Yeah, back off, pal.
252
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,762
The popcorn is for us.
253
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:45,025
The Chinese food is for
the Amazing Digesto.
254
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:53,163
Okay, I want to thank you guys
for coming to the premiere
screening of Free Goldie.
255
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:57,559
Now, I want you to know,
no animals were harmed during
the production of this film.
256
00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:59,213
Although, we did
have one close call
257
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,780
when Goldie jumped
into a bowl of soup. [LAUGHS]
258
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:05,480
Okay, roll 'em.
259
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,874
CODY: [ON VIDEO]
Cody Lambert presents...
260
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:11,573
Free Goldie.
A film by Cody Lambert.
261
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:16,099
Starring JT Lambert
as Rambo Ratface.
262
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:19,102
Brendan Lambert
as Little Timmy.
263
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:23,106
Al Lambert as Maria Consuela
Valencia De Benedictis.
264
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:27,023
And introducing Karen Foster
as Customer Number One.
265
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,199
[GIGGLES]
266
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,163
I'm excited.
It's my screen debut.
267
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:41,124
Gee, Mister, I'd love to buy that goldfish,
268
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,735
but I don't know
if I have enough money.
269
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,130
That's no problem, little boy.
270
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:50,003
I'm sure we can
arrange a loan.
271
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:53,310
This is fantastic.
272
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,356
You like this movie?
273
00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:57,401
No. These egg rolls
are to die for.
274
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:21,338
Carol, what are you doing?
275
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:25,865
Having a snack.
276
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:33,220
This is not a snack.
It's Thanksgiving
on Walton Mountain.
277
00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,921
I'm putting this stuff away.
No, don't touch that turkey.
It's my turkey.
278
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,495
All right, this goes back.
279
00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:50,019
No, they go together.
280
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:52,630
See? Turkey,
mashed potatoes, gravy.
281
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:54,981
Mmm.
282
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:59,855
Oh, honey,
you have really lost it.
283
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:04,904
I wasn't gonna show you
this until morning.
284
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:07,863
I was going through
some photos the other day.
285
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:11,214
I found this one of you.
I want you to look at it.
286
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,304
Big deal. So I'm fat.
287
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,393
I was nine months
pregnant with Mark.
288
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,787
Well, you know,
that's what I thought
289
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:22,182
Until I looked
at the date on the back
of the picture here.
290
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,749
It's Mark's first
birthday party.
291
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:27,230
You, you can't see
Mark and the other kids
292
00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:29,145
'cause you're blocking them
with your thigh, here.
293
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,761
It's that dress.
That dress always
made me look fat.
294
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,504
Okay, fine.
295
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,681
I have another picture.
296
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:50,514
This time,
you're not wearing a dress.
297
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,388
You're wearing a bathing suit.
298
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,223
Look at it.
No.
299
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,573
No, look at it.
No.
300
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:08,054
No, you should... Look at
this, look at this picture!I am not looking.
301
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:09,794
I am not looking!
302
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:12,101
Look at this.
I am not looking.
303
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,321
[BOTH SCREAMING]
304
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:23,243
Oh, my God.
305
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:25,636
I look like Marlon Brando
in a bikini.
306
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:30,076
Here.
307
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,862
Carol, listen. I...
308
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:37,735
I know that your pregnant,
and pregnant women
get cravings,
309
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:40,347
but you can't keep
eating like this.
310
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,305
It's not good for you.
It's not healthy.
311
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:43,915
It's not healthy
for our baby.
312
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,267
I know.
313
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,486
Oh, gee, you know,
the last time I was pregnant
314
00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:51,619
I swore I'd never
do this again.
315
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,099
But I just keep getting
the cravings
316
00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,188
and then,
I can't control myself.
317
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:58,060
Well, listen honey,
318
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:01,455
I'll try and help you
anyway that I can. Okay?
319
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:04,458
If you get a craving
and I'm not there...
320
00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:05,850
Look at the picture.
No!
321
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:13,554
Hi, come on in.
322
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,645
Listen, uh, I want you
to have a seat.
323
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,125
Uh, shouldn't we get going?
324
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:21,344
I don't wanna be late
for the movie.
325
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,912
Well, look, there's been
a kind of a last minute
change of plans.
326
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:26,784
Um, my ex-wife got sick...
327
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,050
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
And my kids are here.
328
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:35,706
[CHUCKLES]
329
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,273
[LAUGHS WEAKLY]
330
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,232
Um, your kids?
331
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,103
Yeah, look, look,
I'm really, really sorry
332
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:42,626
I didn't tell you
about my kids earlier.
333
00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:44,063
I just didn't wanna
scare you off.
334
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,327
And, anyway, I have two kids.
335
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,547
Oh.
336
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,636
Well, that's super.
337
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,595
Uh, how old
are the little tykes?
338
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:56,988
Five, six.
339
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,948
Oh, what a fun age.
[TOY GUN RATTLING]
340
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:05,823
[CHUCKLES]
341
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:08,609
Are you Daddy's
new girlfriend?
342
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:10,524
Uh, kind of.
343
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:12,003
You're skinny.
344
00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,051
Dana, I want you
to meet Lilly
and this is Jack.
345
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,184
Guys, I want you
to say hi to Dana.
346
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:21,970
Hi, Dana.
I'm glad you're a girl.
Maybe you could help me.
347
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,015
Sure, uh,
what can I do for you?
348
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,714
I think I got
some toilet paper
stuck in my bottom.
349
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:27,932
Would you check?
350
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,675
Lilly, sweetheart,
why' don't you go on
in the bathroom
351
00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:34,025
and I'll come there
in a minute, okay?
352
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,940
Hey, hey, no running
in the house![TOY GUN RATTLING]
353
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,598
[LAUGHS] Kids.
354
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,949
Yeah, kids.
355
00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:50,738
This isn't
gonna work, is, it?
356
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:53,654
I really wanted
to make it work
357
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:56,352
because I like you.
358
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,528
But...
359
00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:01,183
We're just not from
the same world.
360
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,187
Oh, boy.
361
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,233
I wish I'd met you
ten years ago.
362
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,930
[CHUCKLES]
363
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:11,193
Ten years ago, I was nine.
364
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:16,067
Oh, boy, my ex-wife,
she was right again.
365
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,374
God, I hate that!
366
00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:23,031
Well, um...
367
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:27,122
Uh, I guess I'll see you
at the bookstore.
368
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:29,864
Uh, yeah.
369
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,174
Bye, Paul.
370
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:38,307
Bye.
371
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:54,323
WOMAN: [ON TV]
Dance that fat away.
Keep it up.
372
00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:58,153
That's it.
Hi, Mom.
373
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,721
Work it harder now.
Hi.
374
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:02,375
What are you doing home?
It's only 8:30.
375
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:07,162
I broke up with Paul
376
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,556
and I'm really depressed.
377
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:12,820
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
378
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:17,694
You know what really bugs me?
379
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:21,611
[SIGHS] How come you knew
this was gonna happen
380
00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:24,397
before the first date,
and I didn't?
381
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:28,314
Well, I'm 40, you're 19.
382
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:33,057
I thought I was an adult,
383
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:35,408
but I guess
I'm not even close.
384
00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:37,148
But you are close.
385
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,499
That's what so frustrating
about being a 19 year old.
386
00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:40,717
You've got the body
of an adult,
387
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:42,415
you've got the mind
of an adult,
388
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:45,853
you have the experience
of a 19 year old.
389
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:52,207
I wish I could go to sleep,
wake up tomorrow,
and be 30 years old.
390
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:55,166
Yeah, I wish I could wake up
and be 30 years old, too.
391
00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:03,305
You know, Mom,
you're really smart.Mmm. [CHUCKLES]
392
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:05,133
I outta listen
to you more often.
393
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:07,483
Hey, could I tape that?
394
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:11,357
Because I'm sure by tomorrow,
I will probably be your
dumb mother again.
395
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,490
Probably.
396
00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:17,276
Well, let's enjoy the truce
while we have it, huh?
397
00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:29,984
A 36-year-old guy.
What was I thinking?
398
00:21:30,071 --> 00:21:32,552
Well, you're nineteen,
you're very mature.
It could happen.
399
00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:35,816
[SIGHS] Yeah, but I bet
it never happened to you.
400
00:21:41,517 --> 00:21:42,605
Did it?
401
00:21:44,607 --> 00:21:47,349
Well, I didn't wanna
tell you this
402
00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:50,221
'cause I didn't
wanna encourage you, but...
403
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,267
Well, what the heck.
404
00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:53,790
When I was your age,
405
00:21:54,965 --> 00:21:56,924
I went out with an older man.
406
00:21:57,011 --> 00:21:58,708
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
407
00:21:58,795 --> 00:22:00,841
Was he 36?
No.
408
00:22:00,928 --> 00:22:02,408
He was 47.
409
00:22:07,151 --> 00:22:09,719
Forty-seven?
Yeah.
410
00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:11,678
That's sick.
Yeah.
411
00:22:13,549 --> 00:22:15,856
That's what
my mother said.
412
00:22:15,943 --> 00:22:19,163
Mom, you were 19...
Yeah, shh.
413
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:22,166
...and the man was 47?
Yeah.
414
00:22:22,253 --> 00:22:24,604
He was old enough
to be your father.I know.
415
00:22:24,691 --> 00:22:26,562
And you kissed this guy?
Yes.
416
00:22:26,649 --> 00:22:28,564
You know, why don't
you yell it louder, Dana?
417
00:22:28,651 --> 00:22:30,044
I'm not sure all
the neighbors heard.
418
00:22:32,089 --> 00:22:33,613
I gotta tell Karen.
Well, Dana.
419
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:36,006
Wait, Dana, Dana. Dana.
420
00:22:36,093 --> 00:22:37,878
Forty-seven!
That's like...
421
00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:39,140
Buddy Ebsen!
30774
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