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1
00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:08,443
-Hey, little dude.
-Hey, Cody.
2
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:11,272
Ah, the mighty sundae,
huh? [CHUCKLES]
3
00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,622
The Dean of Desserts,
the King of Confections,
4
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,232
the Sultan of Sweets.
5
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,540
-You want one?
-Ah, no way, man.
6
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:20,237
That stuff will rot your teeth
right out of your head.
7
00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,327
Whoa, man.
8
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:26,026
Chocolate-Mint-Chip-
Fudge-Kaluah-Ripple.
9
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:32,119
Wow, Carol sprung for the
el primo ice cream-o, huh?
10
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,468
She didn't.
11
00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:35,731
Mom's on this
health food kick.
12
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,428
She said if we wanted
any junk food,
13
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,082
we're gonna have to
buy it ourselves.
14
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,128
Hey!
15
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,047
I bought that with
my own money.
16
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,527
Yeah, and give me back
my whipped cream.
17
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:51,225
Look, I know these are
your toppings,
18
00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,357
but I'm trying to make
a sundae.
19
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,707
How do you guys
feel about sharing?
20
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,626
Hey, hey, hey. Whoa.
21
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,715
Step-dudes at war, huh?
22
00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,283
You know, my philosophy has
always been about sharing.
23
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:10,200
Like, hey, dig it, man,
24
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,550
dig right in.
[LAUGHS]
25
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:15,249
Uh, Cody, I've looked
in your refrigerator,
26
00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:17,990
and I don't recall
anything that would taste
good on ice cream.
27
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:23,518
Are you kidding me, man?
28
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,259
That's an all-day chew.
29
00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:34,833
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
30
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,705
MAN:
♪ The dream got broken
31
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,663
♪ Seemed like all was lost
32
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,404
♪ What would be the future?
33
00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:42,232
♪ Could you pay the cost?
34
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:43,494
♪ You wonder
35
00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:45,061
♪ Will there ever be
36
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,237
♪ A second time around?
37
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:50,066
WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
38
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,807
♪ When the tears are over
39
00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:54,157
♪ And the moment has come
40
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:57,726
♪ Say, "My Lord
I think I found someone"
41
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,641
♪ You know it will be better
42
00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,469
♪ 'Cause you're putting it
together
43
00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:04,515
♪ For the second time around
44
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:13,307
ALL:
♪ Step by step, day by day
45
00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:14,569
WOMAN:
♪ Day by day
46
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,092
ALL:
♪ A fresh start over
47
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,833
♪ A different hand to play
48
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,922
♪ The deeper we fall
49
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:22,054
♪ The stronger we stay
50
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,318
WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better
51
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,755
MAN:
♪ Second time around ♪
52
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:38,680
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
53
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:42,162
I still cannot believe that JT
put glue in my conditioner.
54
00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:44,164
Well...
55
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:47,558
at least it gives it
more body.
56
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,302
Oh, honey.
Honey, look at this.
57
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:57,133
Channel 56 is looking
for a part-time
weekend sportscaster.
58
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,091
I'm thinking I might
try out for that.
59
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,224
Oh, good for you.
60
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:04,445
No offense, Frank, but what do
you know about broadcasting,
61
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:07,230
besides "Breaker, that's
a big ten-four, good buddy?"
62
00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:11,800
Dana, for your information,
63
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:14,977
Frank was
the announcer for his
school basketball team.
64
00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,805
That's right.
Hey, you know Vin Scully?
65
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:19,155
People said if I had
a better voice,
I'd sound just like him.
66
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:25,422
I'm sure you were great,
Frank.
67
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,816
Because that's what
their competition did.
68
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:30,297
Channel 31's ratings went
right through the roof
69
00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:35,476
when they fired
their weatherman
70
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:36,781
I love that pig.
71
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,522
[SNORTS] Hot today.
72
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:44,920
Ooh, that's exactly my point.
Everybody loves a pig.
73
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:47,009
That's why
every station in town
is trying to find
74
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,097
the next Farmer Fred.
75
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:51,796
Well, hot dang, Frank.
76
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,450
and you can be a TV star.
77
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:54,799
Ow.
78
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,714
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
79
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:04,026
-Frank, are you nervous?
-I'm not nervous.
80
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,288
-You seem kind of nervous.
-Well, I'm not nervous.
81
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,203
-All right.
-Excuse me,
82
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,639
we're looking for
Jack Pennington.
83
00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:09,727
You found him.
84
00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:13,775
Well, I'm Frank Lambert
85
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:14,993
Like I don't know that.
86
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,691
You're a little late, Frank.
87
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,867
Why don't you come up here,
have a seat.
88
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:23,393
-Okay.
-Here's the copy.
89
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,873
Wow.
90
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,570
It's just like a real TV show.
91
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,663
You're on the air
in 45 seconds.
92
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,491
[STAMMERS]
On the air? You...
93
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:35,579
You mean, this is live?
94
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,015
Of course. It's the only way
95
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:38,626
I can tell if you can
handle the job.
96
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,671
You would not believe
how nervous some guys get
97
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,630
when they realize
they're talking to
ten thousand people.
98
00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:43,935
[STAMMERS]
Uh...
99
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,505
Ten thousand people?
100
00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:51,639
Thirty seconds.
101
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:53,510
Try breathing.
102
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,207
It helps.
103
00:04:58,733 --> 00:04:59,777
Okay, here we go.
104
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,127
[STAMMERS]
Uh, excuse me,
105
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:03,215
Under the desk.
106
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:10,614
three... two... cue music.
107
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,442
[CAPTIVATING MUSIC PLAYING]
108
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,532
Cue announcer.
109
00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:19,014
Good afternoon, and welcome
to weekend sports update.
110
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:24,367
And now, here's the latest
from the world of sports.
111
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,199
[SNAPPING FINGERS]
Psst.
112
00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,983
Frank, Frank.
113
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:33,333
-What?
-You're on!
114
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,685
Oh. Oh, Jeez.
115
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:47,825
Hello, sports fans.
116
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,958
Date, update.
117
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,874
Let's move to some
college scores.
118
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:56,138
A major upset in the Big Ten
today, Purdue thirty-four.
119
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:06,409
And, Michigan,
120
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:10,370
Oh, well less than 34.
That's why they lost.
121
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:15,375
Uh, and from some other scores
around the country,
122
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:18,943
there's, uh, 41 to 22,
16 to 12,
123
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:22,991
28 to 4 and, uh, 13 to 7.
[LAUGHS]
124
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:25,210
-[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]
-FRANK: And the...
125
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:26,777
Hey. Hey, look, it's dad.
126
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:28,605
He must have gotten
that sportscasting job.
127
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,041
[CHUCKLES]
128
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,565
Wow, he's sweating
like a pig.
129
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,829
Yeah, he looks like
he's gonna hurl.
130
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:38,963
I'm really dry. Do you have
something else to drink?
131
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,357
You're on the air!
132
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,229
Okay.
133
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,716
In other sports...
134
00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:54,501
-Come here. Here.
-What?
135
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:57,504
Just put him
in the cross hairs
like a deer.
136
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:02,422
In the NHL today,
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
137
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:06,861
uh, the Detroit Redwings
traded a guy named, uh...
138
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,472
Well, he had two "P"s
in his name, anyway,
139
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:12,780
and, uh, [STAMMERING]
for another guy,
140
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,870
with a "L" and, and a "Z."
[CHUCKLES]
141
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,829
Well, this just in.
142
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,311
"Go to commercial, you dope."
143
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:30,624
We'll have more on this,
late-breaking story
144
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:31,929
right after these messages.
145
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:33,757
Clear.
146
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,807
-Frank, are you okay?
-I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
147
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,373
-What are you looking for?
-I just need...
148
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,766
-I just need...
-What?
149
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:49,512
[SHRIEKS]
I need some water.
150
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,296
-Where's he going?
-Uh, for some water.
151
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:52,472
He'll be back in
a couple of minutes.
152
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:55,387
A couple of minutes?
153
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,911
I just wanted him to catch
his breath
154
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:59,522
so he didn't have
a heart attack.
155
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:00,958
-Uh, okay. Come on.
-What?
156
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,177
-What?
-Come here.
157
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:03,526
-What?
-Sit down.
158
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,093
-You read the sports.
-Me?
159
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:07,225
I don't know anything
about sports.
160
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:08,836
You can't be any worse
than Water Boy.
161
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,707
[GASPS, BREATHING HEAVILY]
162
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:13,231
Here we go. You ready?
163
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:16,365
-I can't do it. I can't do it. -four... three...
164
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:17,453
Hi.
165
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:24,373
I'm Carol, Frank's wife.
166
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:28,508
And, uh,
he's not here right now
because he needed a drink.
167
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,335
[STAMMERS]
Of water.
168
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:42,565
[MOUTHING]
169
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:45,916
uh, while Frank was,
um, reading the scores.
170
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,050
Oh, so messy.
171
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,747
Well, okay.
172
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:53,620
Uh, "The Minnesota Gophers,"
173
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:58,102
uh, "dug a big hole for
themselves, and lost to Iowa,
174
00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,887
"forty-two to seventeen."
175
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:05,806
Oh, I get it.
176
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:07,372
Huh, that's kind of cute.
[LAUGHING]
177
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:11,463
"And the California Bears
178
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,555
mauled the Oregon Ducks
fifty-two to nothing."
179
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,165
That isn't very fair,
though, is it?
180
00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:19,559
You know, a bear against
a duck?
181
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:23,998
You know, I always thought
182
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:26,783
like the Cardinals
and the Robins, and the Ducks,
183
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:29,656
and then put
all the meat-eaters
in another league,
184
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:33,224
you know, like the Lions
and Tigers and Bears.
185
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:35,096
"Lions and tigers
and bears." Oh my.
186
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:41,145
Uh, anyway, uh,
that's all for today.
187
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:45,454
So, uh, if you want
more highlights, uh...
188
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,238
Use a rinse.
[LAUGHS]
189
00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:55,072
Well, I'm Carol, Frank's wife.
[CHUCKLES] Bye.
190
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:56,726
-And we're out.
-[GASPS]
191
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,989
[PANTING]
192
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:00,991
Okay, I feel better now,
Jack. Let's go.
193
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:05,300
[SIGHS]
194
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:08,172
[SIGHS] Well, Frank,
I already put this baby to bed.
195
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,565
-[SIGHS]
-What?
196
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:13,047
Well, they had to go
on the air,
197
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:14,614
-Ah, jeez, honey,
-[SIGHING]
198
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,833
I hope you didn't
blow this job for me.
199
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,443
Well, I'm sold.
200
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,097
-You're hired.
-Oh.
201
00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:21,533
Well, thank you
very much.
202
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,666
Not you, Aquaman.
203
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,670
You bombed. She was cute.
204
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,759
Cute sports. I like it.
205
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:32,588
It's new, it's different.
See you next Saturday.
206
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,597
[NERVOUS CHUCKLES]
Well...
207
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,339
What do you know?
[LAUGHS]
208
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,996
You come here to audition
for a job, [CHUCKLES]
209
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,780
I end up getting it.
[CHUCKLES]
210
00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:54,828
Oh, isn't that funny?
[NERVOUS CHUCKLES]
211
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:57,482
[SCOFFS]
212
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,098
[SIGHS]
213
00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:13,107
[SCOFFS]
214
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:16,284
There's no sense keeping all
your anger bottled up inside.
215
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:17,633
I am not angry.
216
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,033
I am not taking this job.
217
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,035
-Yes, you are.
-No, I am not.
218
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:30,080
Yes, you are.
I want you to take it.
219
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,474
Why would I want this job?
I don't even like sports.
220
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,911
Because if you don't take it,
you'll make me feel guilty,
221
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:37,609
and I don't want you
laying that stuff on me.
222
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:41,222
-What stuff?
-As if you didn't know.
223
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:44,355
Frank, don't be ridiculous.
I am not taking this job
224
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:47,837
-Yes, you are.
-No, I'm not
225
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,231
Fine, Frank, have it your way.
I'll take the job.
226
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,451
-[SIGHS]
-You would.
227
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,153
And do you know why, Carol?
228
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,632
Because you're a taker.
229
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,679
That's right, a taker.
230
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:05,507
You take, take, take, take.
231
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:09,250
You take my razor blades,
you hog all the covers,
232
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,034
Well, don't think
I don't notice those things,
because I do.
233
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:12,732
I'm just too big a person
to mention it.
234
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:32,795
And another thing.
235
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,015
Ah, cupcakes.
236
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:36,494
JT:
Freeze, dirtbag.
237
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:43,719
Put your hands in the air
and step away
from the cupcake.
238
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,203
What are you?
The food police?
239
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:50,247
That's right.
240
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,556
I got this whole place
staked out.
241
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:57,167
Help! She's going to kill me
for an Eskimo pie!
242
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,039
Give me that thing
before I rake your face.
243
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:01,911
Help!
244
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,537
[SCREAMING]
245
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,807
You put that rake away
when you're done with it.
246
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:35,684
Hey, Cody.
247
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:38,078
Hey, Uncle Frank.
248
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:40,994
You know those warning labels
they put on aerosol cans,
249
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:43,387
"Do not use near open flame?"
250
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,346
Those guys know what
they're talking about.
251
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:51,178
Yeah. Sometimes
I wish marriages
came with a warning label.
252
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,484
Why? Are you still having
a melee with the missus?
253
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:56,226
Yeah. She took
my broadcasting job, Cody.
254
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:59,490
And that's grabby,
small-minded,
and, and selfish.
255
00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:01,275
Hey, hold on there a minute,
Uncle Frank.
256
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:02,972
Back up the bus, okay?
257
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,496
That don't sound like
Carol at all.
258
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:08,325
Yeah, I know. It's starting to
sound more like me.
259
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:11,415
I mean, it was a part-time job
on a local TV station.
260
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:15,463
Why am I taking it
so hard, huh?
261
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:16,899
Yeah, well, I know,
262
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:19,075
I just don't know what it is.
263
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,772
Well, maybe I can help.
264
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,427
You know, sometimes when you
look at these problems
265
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:27,518
from an odd perspective...
266
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:30,130
You can see things
that nobody else can see.
267
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:33,394
Well, I'm willing to
try anything.
268
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:35,439
All right, let me just
clear out my mind.
269
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:38,399
[BREATHES DEEP]
270
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:41,271
Whoa, my mistake, it was
already clear. [CHUCKLES]
271
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:46,929
That's cool. It will
make our job a lot easier.
[CLEARS THROAT]
272
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:55,764
Oh, I got it.
273
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:57,809
she'll get to meet
Vince Lombardi before you do.
274
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:01,988
Cody, Vince Lombardi's dead.
275
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,817
Why didn't you say that
in your sports report?
276
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,471
That's a pretty big story,
don't you think?
277
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:10,822
Listen, Cody,
maybe I better just
278
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,737
work this out on my own, okay?
279
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:17,655
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh! [LAUGHS]
280
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:21,355
I got it. I got it.
I got it. Okay, dig it.
281
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:26,229
You had a dream.
282
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,492
You wanted to go
for that big brass ring.
283
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,539
You could'a been
a contender.
284
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:33,671
You could'a had class.
285
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,630
You could'a been somebody,
286
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,372
instead of a bum.
Which is what...
287
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:41,505
Oh, sorry, Uncle Frank.
Your not a bum. [LAUGHS]
288
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,855
Aw, man, I was watching
this Brando flick last night.
289
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:48,295
I guess it kinda got stuck
in my brain.
290
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:49,383
Really?
291
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:55,389
You wanted to be
a prizefighter
292
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:59,915
No, no, but I did have
a dream once.
293
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,308
I'm going to go
talk to Carol.
294
00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:02,396
Yeah.
295
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,061
[SIGHS]
296
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,584
-[KNOCKS]
-Hi.
297
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,325
Hi.
298
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:26,333
Carol, I've been acting
like a jerk lately,
299
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,465
and I think I might have
figured out why.
300
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:30,598
Okay.
301
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:36,952
like most
small-town kids.
302
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,824
I thought I'd either go
to work for my father, or,
303
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:42,871
you know, get a local job.
Which was okay with me.
304
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:46,483
But then, I got to
announce the basketball
games at school,
305
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:49,486
I thought, gee, maybe
I could be a sportscaster.
306
00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:52,750
Be... famous. You know,
be a contender.
307
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,319
But then I got out of school,
308
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,365
and married my first wife,
and had the kids.
309
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:00,802
I just sort of forgot
about the dream.
310
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:03,631
And then this channel 56
thing came up.
311
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,460
And then the dream came back.
312
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:07,678
[SIGHS]
313
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:09,985
Yeah.
314
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,953
But I guess I'm just
always going to be
kind of an average guy.
315
00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:26,262
Oh, Frank,
316
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,221
you're anything but average.
317
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:32,747
[CHUCKLES]
318
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,663
from nothing into a success?
319
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:38,883
And would an average guy marry
a woman with three kids
320
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:41,625
and raise them as his own?
321
00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:45,586
And would the average guy work
so hard to make me so happy?
322
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,677
I don't consider
that work.
323
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:51,983
That's because
you're not average.
324
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:58,555
As far as I'm concerned,
Frank, you're a superstar.
325
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:12,091
Okay, everybody,
this is an official notice.
326
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:15,398
These are my
banana cream pies.
327
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,969
Who cares about your pies?
328
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,449
We've got Mark's pudding.
329
00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,889
All right,
you little scavengers,
330
00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:29,978
this is our Chinese food.
331
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,459
Mmm-hmm.
332
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:38,595
So just keep your
grubby little paws off it.
333
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:41,903
Relax, Barky, nobody cares
about your puppy chow.
334
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:47,561
Hey, that's my
chocolate pudding!
335
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:50,172
That's my jelly doughnut.
Hand it over.
336
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:58,398
Not until you give me
my chocolate pudding.
337
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:01,488
[LAUGHING]
338
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:04,143
Looks like she got the jelly
part of her doughnut anyway.
339
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,148
-Hey, Mark.
-What?
340
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:18,069
Hey, you can't do that
to my brother.
341
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,553
Oh, yeah, right.
342
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,295
You don't have the guts.
343
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:27,775
Yeah, you're too chicken.
344
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,001
Big mistake.
345
00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,400
[GASPS]
346
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:56,586
Okay, this is war.
347
00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,981
[ALL SCREAMING]
348
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,417
I don't have anything.
349
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:09,338
[SIGHS]
350
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:15,649
Boy, nothing works up
an appetite
351
00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:16,998
[ALL SCREAMING]
352
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,480
I can't see! I can't see!
353
00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:29,489
I don't believe this.
354
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:42,066
What are you dudes doing?
355
00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:45,331
You guys are throwing
food around like a bunch
of six-year-olds.
356
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:54,601
If you dudes don't have
the common decency to treat
this house with respect,
357
00:20:54,688 --> 00:20:57,386
you guys are never gonna
get treated like adults here.
358
00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:06,613
Is anybody else here
as sick
359
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:11,444
as I am
about the Codeman, here,
always being right?
360
00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:23,978
Cool.
361
00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,503
Kung Pao cream pie.
[LAUGHS]
362
00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:32,247
[ALL SCREAMING AND SHOUTING]
363
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,510
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
364
00:21:45,216 --> 00:21:49,395
Oh, honey,
do we have to watch it?
365
00:21:49,482 --> 00:21:52,963
Oh, come on,
it will be fun.
366
00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:55,879
All right, let's see
who's making a sap
of themselves today.
367
00:21:55,966 --> 00:22:00,754
[LAUGHS]
368
00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:06,063
And now, here's the latest
from the world of sports.
369
00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:11,808
Yo, sports dudes.
370
00:22:11,895 --> 00:22:15,725
Okay, the Charlotte
Hornets beat the
Milwaukee Bucks today.
371
00:22:15,812 --> 00:22:17,553
[SCOFFS] Man,
I can believe that.
372
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,601
Those hornets are tough.
373
00:22:21,688 --> 00:22:27,084
[SCOFFS] Stung my butt
three times before I finally
nailed it with a hammer.
374
00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:30,523
But that's not the worst
thing that ever crawled
into my shorts.
375
00:22:30,610 --> 00:22:33,613
Hey. Hey, who turned out
the lights?
376
00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:35,528
Hello?
377
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,312
Hello?
27057
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