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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:18,879
I am a gear in the wheel of the clock.
I fear not my mortality.
3
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,597
Approach us.
4
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,871
Everything to your liking, my lords?
5
00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:43,205
Are you aware of the fate
of our last restaurant helicopter chef?
6
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:46,269
- His face was...
- His face was smashed!
7
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:47,142
Yes, I know.
8
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:50,911
He slipped his hand and face
on the hovercraft.
9
00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:52,679
Hovercraft.
10
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,084
- Hov...
- Homo...
11
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,849
- Hovercraft.
- Hold me.
12
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:56,981
Hovercraft.
13
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:58,285
Hovercraft.
14
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:01,521
They're trying to tell you the guy
got his face smashed into a hovercraft.
15
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:02,755
That's what they're trying to tell you.
16
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:06,163
- Yes, I know.
- And then, from the sorrow...
17
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:09,168
- He blow his brain in.
- He blow his brain out.
18
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,499
- Whatever.
- Out.
19
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:11,799
It'd make a great album cover.
20
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:15,968
Yeah, all of our chefs,
they has died a horrible death.
21
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,273
What of that's do you think?
22
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:21,041
I would rather have
my brains scooped out...
23
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,413
with a melon baller
than to miss the opportunity...
24
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:27,648
to deliver the various cheese snacks
to my beloved Dethklok.
25
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:35,287
Sorry, we are chewing through
a few thousand doves up here.
26
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:38,627
Don't worry, these rotors
will grind them into paste in no time.
27
00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:41,896
From the prime minister of Norway.
28
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,926
There are several cases.
The finest wine.
29
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:48,998
No! we never drink before a show. Never!
30
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:52,534
- I'll have just a little drink.
- Me, too.
31
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,410
- But...
- Me, too.
32
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,038
Me, too.
33
00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:59,347
## Do anything for Dethklok
Do anything for Dethklok ##
34
00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:01,945
## Do anything for Dethklok
Do anything for Dethklok ##
35
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:03,353
## Do anything for Dethklok ##
36
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:05,983
## Dethklok, Dethklok
Dethklok, Dethklok ##
37
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:08,425
## I'll teach you ##
38
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,055
## Who rock ##
39
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:12,496
## Dethklok! Dethklok! ##
40
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:15,296
## Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Taller than a tree ##
41
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,428
## Toki Wartooth
Not a bumble bee ##
42
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,268
## William Murderface
Murderface, Murderface ##
43
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,796
## Pickles the Drummer
Doodily doo ##
44
00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:22,967
## Ding-dong
Doodily doodily doo ##
45
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:24,533
## Nathan Explosion ##
46
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,640
Live from Batsfjord, Norway...
47
00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:34,710
where over 300,000 fans have
travelled to the Arctic Circle...
48
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:38,918
to see the legendary metal band,
Dethklok, perform just one song.
49
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:42,792
Surprisingly the song itself is a jingle.
A coffee jingle.
50
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:46,993
Never before have so many people
travelled so far for such a short song.
51
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:51,527
A jingle for international coffee moguls,
the Duncan Hills Coffee corporation.
52
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:54,039
Is Dethklok selling out?
"No!"
53
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:57,270
says band front man, Nathan Explosion.
54
00:02:57,310 --> 00:03:02,213
We're here to make coffee metal.
We will make everything metal.
55
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:05,945
Blacker than the blackest black
times infinity.
56
00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:07,816
They're called pain waivers.
57
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,913
Fans are literally signing their life away...
58
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:13,153
releasing Dethklok
from any and all liability.
59
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,627
My eye got tore out
and force fed to me at a show.
60
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:16,890
Dethklok rules!
61
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:20,263
In London, some dude chopped
off my fingers and threw 'em up onstage.
62
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,461
Murderface rolled them up
and smoked them!
63
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:23,628
Murderface!
64
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:27,572
Dark clouds have rolled in
and static electricity is in the air.
65
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:30,235
Wait! Wait! Wait a minute!
66
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:33,143
It's Dethklok!
It's Dethklok!
67
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,313
Dethklok rolling.
68
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,831
## Do you folks like coffee? ##
69
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:10,376
## Real coffee from the hills of Columbia? ##
70
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,413
## Duncan Hills will wake you ##
71
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:17,889
## From a thousand deaths ##
72
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,358
## A cup of blackened blood ##
73
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,418
## You're dying for a cup ##
74
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,430
## Guatemalan blend ##
75
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,091
## Ethiopian ##
76
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:28,396
## French Vanilla Roast ##
77
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,799
## You're dying for a cup ##
78
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:36,375
## Prepare for ultimate flavor ##
79
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:39,139
## You're gonna get some now ##
80
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:46,145
## And scream for your cream ##
81
00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:07,762
## Duncan Hills, Duncan Hills
Duncan Hills coffee ##
82
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:17,279
As you can see, Dethklok
is no laughing matter.
83
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,013
They're the world's greatest cultural force.
84
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:24,353
In the short time since the Duncan Hills
coffee jingle Batsfjord Massacre Fest...
85
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,483
every other coffee company
has been obliterated.
86
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:30,360
- Completely blown out of the water.
- Freaks.
87
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:34,662
These freaks, as you call them,
are currently worth billions.
88
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,191
Gentlemen...
89
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:39,568
Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
taller than a tree.
90
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:43,803
Toki Wartooth,
not a bumble bee.
91
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:48,303
William Murderface,
Murderface, Murderface.
92
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:52,409
Pickles the Drummer,
doodily doo.
93
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:57,321
Ding-dong,
doodily doodily doo.
94
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,552
Nathan Explosion.
95
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:01,753
I'm afraid that's all we know, gentlemen.
96
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:05,491
I will remind you again
of the Sumerian artifacts.
97
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:08,329
The resemblance is indisputable.
98
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:12,134
If they're the ones we think they are
we should exterminate them immediately.
99
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:14,901
No...
100
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:17,501
We wait.
101
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,516
Well, I don't think all
of our employees are cursed.
102
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:28,747
The chefs.
The chefs.
103
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:31,382
Oh, the chefs are cursed, yeah. Yeah.
104
00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:33,585
Actually he's stills alives.
105
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:37,151
Yeah.
106
00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:38,891
Well, I mean he'll be dead soon.
107
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,866
- That's what I meant to say.
- Oh, come on.
108
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,300
He could probably heard that.
109
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,031
Oh, wait, no, he can't
'cause he ain't got no ears.
110
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:49,405
Hold on. It says here that keeping this guy
alive is costing us $10,000 a day.
111
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:53,935
Well, here's an idea.
112
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,472
Why don't we yankee doodle dandy,
you know pull the plug.
113
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,883
- Kill him.
- Let's just fire him. Look at him.
114
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,079
He's all lazy, just sitting there.
115
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,112
He ain't cooked a damn thing all day long.
Let's face it, he's bringing me down.
116
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,852
What is wrong with this dumb dildo?
117
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:09,623
They give us all the free coffee in the world
but no instructions on how to cook it.
118
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:15,925
I might need to take five, six personal days
for all this griefs gonna have to be.
119
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:18,664
Oh, here we go again!
120
00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:22,504
You took two personal
grieving days last week.
121
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:25,306
- Well, I was depressed about Coward.
- You're depressed?!
122
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:27,107
- Deals with that.
- You're depressed?!
123
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:30,582
I'm fat!
I'm the fat one!
124
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,612
Yeah, I'm fat.
We know that!
125
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:36,645
The one good thing about
Jean Pierre being dead...
126
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:41,217
is maybe I won't eat so much
and lose these flabby death handles.
127
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:43,524
- No!
- No, I'm fat!
128
00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:48,662
Well, I'm starting to get a hungries...
129
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,965
but it looks like we starves.
130
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:56,073
Well, great. What are
we supposed to do now?
131
00:07:57,710 --> 00:08:03,444
- What's this place called?
- This is, I believes, called, food libraries.
132
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,246
Food library.
133
00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:06,478
Food library.
134
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:10,478
It's called a grocery store, you
douche bags! I'm sorry about douche bags.
135
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:13,458
- I got low blood sugar.
- All right, here's the deal.
136
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,587
We have to do our own shopping
so we can make our own dinner...
137
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:17,823
Iike regular jack-offs do.
138
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:21,857
You're all in charge of putting together
one dish and don't just buy booze!
139
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,664
That ain't food.
140
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,694
What do you mean booze ain't food?
141
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:29,071
I would rather chop off my dingle
than admit that.
142
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:30,837
You would rather chop off
your ding-dong than not drink?
143
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:50,585
- Hey, Grandma, is there olives in it?
- In what?
144
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:54,464
Lemon tart, wrinkled tits, geezy!
145
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,526
Good, then it's pee pee time.
146
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,602
Hey, chief, is this stuff good for soup?
147
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,512
- No.
- That's a yes.
148
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:13,416
- Who is Walnuts?
- Toki, look inside of your basket.
149
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:18,014
Guess what, you're in such a crappy mood,
you have ladies' tampons...
150
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,082
inside of it and you buy them for yourself.
151
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,993
Go and have a conversation with older
ladies and tell them your problems.
152
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,758
- You're lady, Swissgar.
- No, I'm not!
153
00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:26,890
Two cups of rice.
154
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,599
Brutal.
155
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:36,597
OK, hold on, so you're telling me that
you put these little guys in boiling water...
156
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:39,338
and they shriek and
they turn red and they die?
157
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:40,367
Yes, sir.
158
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,814
That is the most metal thing
I ever heard in my whole life.
159
00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:44,838
High-five.
160
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:47,819
Price check!
Clean up aisle six!
161
00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:51,516
- Rotted body landslide.
- Oh, that's great.
162
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:56,221
And don't forget our special sale
on every bone broken chicken.
163
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,287
- Hurry!
- You get them, Nathan.
164
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:02,028
Enjoy our tasty half-snot face.
Aisle three.
165
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,933
I loves to laugh.
166
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:04,959
- Hi.
- Hi.
167
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:07,199
Guess what?
You are a GMLlF.
168
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:09,036
That is a grandmother
that I would like to....
169
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,539
See, I told you guys, we don't need ol' chef.
170
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:17,879
Put in the ingredients into that thing there.
171
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:21,614
Oh, no, we leaves all the food
at that food place.
172
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,451
What?!
173
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,822
Jean Pierre!
Jean Pierre, cook something!
174
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:33,195
Come on, don't be a dick, be a dude.
175
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:34,722
- Yeah. Come on!
- Don't be a dick.
176
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,234
- Come on.
- Make us something!
177
00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:37,997
- Just do it.
- We can't hear you.
178
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,005
- Do it. We can't hear you.
- Do it! Do it!
179
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,064
It's over.
180
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,941
By the power of all that's evil...
181
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:49,914
I command you to awaken
and make me a sandwich!
182
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,417
There is only one thing left to do.
183
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,009
Kill ourselves.
184
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:57,079
Dudes, we would have to sew him back
together to get him to cook for us.
185
00:10:57,123 --> 00:11:01,753
Yeah, but we such screw ups that
he would be sewn back together wrong.
186
00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:03,557
That's a good song title.
187
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,531
## Sewn back together wrong ##
188
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:11,161
## Back together
Sewn back together wrong ##
189
00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:15,833
## Back together
Sewn back together wrong ##
190
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:20,005
## Back together,
Sewn back together wrong ##
191
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:23,209
## Back together sewn ##
192
00:11:24,305 --> 00:11:30,902
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