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B
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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yeah exactly that's my I said to him I
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said hey man I know you're trying to get
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this wrapped by the end of the quarter
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but it's just not going to
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happen exactly oh hey Ted your dad and I
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are going out tomorrow night can you
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make dinner for your
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brother uh I I was I swear do you have
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plans okay well I need you to be here
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please
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honey no [ __ ] way what did you
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say
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please thank
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you uh-huh love you
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Mom oh my God I would have been so
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[ __ ] pissed
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good evening everybody you're listening
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to Golden oldies this is Rick rodchester
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your host for this evening in the next
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several several hours here's a classic
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love and M by the daylight
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[Music]
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19 i
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s
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twine he told me
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your
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m
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smile in
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her
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she's for a savior
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I would gladly
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[Music]
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Dam hey Dad hey bud how goes the
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driving uh you know it's it's fine it's
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it's going it's going yeah yeah I hear
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you is every anything good you you sound
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a
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little are you doing
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okay you know honestly lately I've been
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I've been feeling oh God damn
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it is is everything good yeah yeah son
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sorry the the [ __ ] dog just just
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pissed all over the
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carpet [ __ ] Ted I'm sorry I'm going to
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have to call you back this this driving
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me crazy it's it's it's good dad I I got
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you I'll give you call back in a minute
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I just I just have to handle this [ __ ]
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I'll talk to you later yeah yeah uh I
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love you
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[Music]
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come inside right
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now do not
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scream no no no
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[Music]
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no look I know the managers this place
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all right they trust me come
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[Music]
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inside give me your
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phone and your wallet
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Magnolia
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Street it's a nice neighborhood you know
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I've
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been all
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right here's
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how all this is going to
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go you're going to drive me around until
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I
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see the right
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person I'm going to get out on the Rob
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him you're then going to drive me far
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far away and then we're going to
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separate do you understand
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me no no no I'm not [ __ ] doing that
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no shut the [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ]
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up look this can go easy or it can go
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hard but it's going one way
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you going to drive
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me I'm going to do this and
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then you're
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done Drive
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you're going to take the next two rights
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and a
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[Music]
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left park at the End of the
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Street up here
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keep it running
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[Music]
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[Music]
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hey here I don't even [ __ ] have
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[Music]
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911 sh [ __ ] sh sh sh sh come on come on
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come on [ __ ] [ __ ]
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you need a [ __ ]
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dbe god what are you
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doing [ __ ]
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God
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[ __ ] [ __ ] drive
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[Music]
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oh
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]
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[ __ ]
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God
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so I have like 3/4 of the
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tank yeah I filled up earlier tonight so
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like there's some distance we can
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cover I I just I need to
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know what you like need from me
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here drive us
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North
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yeah yeah yeah I got a friend with out
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there in the mill eure way off the
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map you're gonna take me to
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it
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okay you're going to stay off the
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highway and you're going to drive like
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you're taking a test with the [ __ ]
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DMV do you understand me
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Mom is calling God oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] she's
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going to know something's up she's like
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[ __ ] sidekick or something I swear to
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God this is [ __ ] bad this is [ __ ]
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bad Shut the [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ]
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up shut the [ __ ]
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up we going to tell her that everything
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is [ __ ] fine you're with a friend you
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got a flat I don't care but the message
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is you are
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1,000% okay
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do you understand
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me hey Mom kdy where the [ __ ] are
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you I I'm out with a friend a
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friend yeah what do you mean what
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friend you remember [ __ ] Mato Donal
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from [ __ ] junior year calculus or
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whatever kind of well I [ __ ] ran into
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him at a restaurant and he asked if I
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wanted to hang
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out uh
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okay yeah yeah all
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right so we're
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cool uh whatever it's not
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yeah just don't stay out all
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night yeah I won't I I'll I'll be home
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soon okay don't forget I need you to
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watch will tomorrow night
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got you Mom all
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right have a good night son you too
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yep my M was just like
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that isn't the [ __ ]
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worst yeah and like just it's so [ __ ]
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cringe because you know I I get it I get
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it you know like will my little brother
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he's got he's got these [ __ ] [ __ ] hot
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grades and he's this [ __ ] talented
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athlete and all these [ __ ] kids
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worship him like he's a God and I I get
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it I'm not a [ __ ] party I'm not easy
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to be around sometimes but that doesn't
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mean there should be like [ __ ]
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preferential treatment or whatever like
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that [ __ ] sucks and it makes me feel
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like [ __ ] and like what even the [ __ ] am
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I supposed to do about that like change
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everything about myself like that that's
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a non [ __ ] starter you know what I
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mean uh hey uh I I got to take a
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piss absolutely not please I I've had to
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go since before I pick you up stoping
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dude look I I swear to God I won't try
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anything I [ __ ] you can keep the gun
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drawn while I do it you can [ __ ] hold
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my dick I
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[ __ ] please just
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please up over there they you in two
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[ __ ] minutes you have 2 minutes
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wait
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wait get out
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March stop
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hey uh I know I'm pushing my luck but is
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there any way I could bum
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one yeah I I've been trying to quit for
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a minute it's just it's it's been a long
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night
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please throw the lighter back
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you know I'm pretty [ __ ] pissed off
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of myself right now I remember the last
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cigarette I had uh I was on a
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beach yeah we we um come to Santa Cruz
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for new years's and uh I've been working
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on this pack for like a couple days
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beforehand
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right and it just so happened that I was
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on my last cigarette on New Year's Eve
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the last day of the year so I remember
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thinking you know great I'll you know
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smoke this one and I'll be done I'll be
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done
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forever but
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uh
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circumstances I I
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didn't plan for
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this I didn't expect
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this uh when did you first start smoking
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13 what what I was 13 oh dude literally
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that's that's when I first started I I
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remember uh it was like right after my
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birthday I was with my cousin and I and
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I remember telling him like that I
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wanted like a ride of Passage or
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something I didn't call it that cuz I
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was like [ __ ] 13 but he gave me my
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first one uh it was a spirit
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yeah I I know but I just I remember
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feeling so [ __ ] cool like I was the
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[ __ ]
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man so [ __ ] stupid I wish I'd never
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[ __ ] touch these things I'm [ __ ]
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bad basically the same story it's just
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one of those things you know
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let's get back on the road
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[Music]
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you know
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uh personally I I've never minded these
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long road trips I know some people like
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my [ __ ] brother will it takes all 10
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minutes he's like 10 minutes
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I don't know I just I [ __ ] I've never
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been too hard to please you know I'm
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like a I'm low maintenance like a
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goldfish you
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know that's why it's I've been so
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[ __ ] confused for like Years cuz like
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everyone doesn't have trouble with the
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[ __ ] I [ __ ] trouble with you know
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it's like first day school everyone
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comes in and they already [ __ ] they
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already know how to dress they know who
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their [ __ ] friends are they know what
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to feel and [ __ ] think and I just
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I never know how I'm [ __ ] feeling I'm
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just [ __ ]
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confused what am I supposed to [ __ ]
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do with
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that yeah dude and I [ __ ] I love my
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parents I do I love them but I cannot
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pretend that they didn't make all of
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this [ __ ] [ __ ] worse not on purpose
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obviously but it was like I was always
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[ __ ] wrong the ways I was trying were
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always [ __ ] wrong it was my fault I
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didn't have [ __ ] friends coming to
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the house all the time it was my [ __ ]
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I had [ __ ] shitty grades it was my
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fault that I [ __ ] dropped out of
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college and like I can count on I can
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count on one [ __ ] hand how many times
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they like ask me how I was or how I was
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feeling or
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[ __ ] it's like you're completely
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invisible exactly [ __ ] exactly like
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they they view me as as their creation
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their son but they're completely
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incapable of viewing me as like a human
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being I feel the same way
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really yeah my folks only had me but
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seems like even that was a
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little much for them you know they could
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never quite find the time that's my dad
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to a [ __ ] te I can see it in his eyes
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when we're [ __ ] talking he's like
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he's on mars or
280
00:24:21,799 --> 00:24:25,320
something and I I know like this is just
281
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,399
the most classic [ __ ] thing to say
282
00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:29,760
but like why even have kids when you
283
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,679
already know who you want them to be
284
00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:33,840
like isn't that part of the [ __ ]
285
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,760
Journey or whatever is to the [ __ ]
286
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,679
discover who they are like with
287
00:24:38,679 --> 00:24:41,480
them preach into the
288
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,440
choir
289
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:47,080
kids no why
290
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:52,320
not she never appealed to me why
291
00:24:54,679 --> 00:24:56,600
not I
292
00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,440
am the type of person person who
293
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:04,240
values agency fair enough not a lot of
294
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,960
time to go around with
295
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,640
kids well I want kids I want to be a dad
296
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,640
that's just something I've always known
297
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,679
it feels like my parents never like
298
00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:16,919
wanted to be parents like it was [ __ ]
299
00:25:16,919 --> 00:25:19,960
something they were stuck with or
300
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,679
handed I asked my father one time right
301
00:25:22,679 --> 00:25:25,000
he my mom that
302
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:29,440
me what you say
303
00:25:32,799 --> 00:25:33,640
he
304
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,520
said
305
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,360
was the thing to do Jesus [ __ ] Christ
306
00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:42,320
dude yeah I know well when I'm a dad I'm
307
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,640
not going to [ __ ] say [ __ ] like that
308
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,520
to my kids I'm going to [ __ ] talk to
309
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,320
them I'm going to [ __ ] be there for
310
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,960
them I'm going to
311
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,440
[ __ ] oh god I've con convinced myself
312
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,039
for years to be easier to do better than
313
00:25:54,039 --> 00:25:55,640
my parents did but I feel like what I'm
314
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,559
[ __ ] trying to describe is so [ __ ]
315
00:25:58,559 --> 00:26:00,399
vague like I couldn't be a parent better
316
00:26:00,399 --> 00:26:03,159
than they could but I hope after like
317
00:26:03,159 --> 00:26:05,720
like like 20 [ __ ] years at it I'd be
318
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,360
good at it at
319
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:11,520
least I can say with absolute confidence
320
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:12,600
I would
321
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,600
have planned
322
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,080
better than your parents did oh
323
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:22,279
yeah how
324
00:26:23,279 --> 00:26:26,120
so my folks are
325
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:30,120
just very impulsive people people
326
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:32,960
very caution to the
327
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,240
wind what are they like now if they like
328
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,080
Mell it out at
329
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,799
all you know I don't see much of them
330
00:26:44,799 --> 00:26:46,640
these days H there's there's some
331
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,159
distance
332
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:53,760
there yeah honestly I feel like there's
333
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,320
not enough distance for me like I feel I
334
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,039
feel like I'm [ __ ] suffocating like
335
00:26:58,039 --> 00:27:00,799
like I'm in a circle dude like if they
336
00:27:00,799 --> 00:27:03,159
had given me the space to figure all
337
00:27:03,159 --> 00:27:04,760
this [ __ ] out when I was younger maybe
338
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,840
maybe I would have you
339
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,039
know do they have their [ __ ] figured out
340
00:27:10,039 --> 00:27:11,960
no no of course not but they seem just
341
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,720
as [ __ ] scared and confused as I am
342
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,080
sometimes but like I know they were
343
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,080
trying their [ __ ] best yeah well best
344
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,159
is a relative term I know and it just
345
00:27:21,159 --> 00:27:24,000
makes me feel like [ __ ] like if these
346
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,480
people who guided you know who guided me
347
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,720
who literally [ __ ] created me
348
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,600
like still don't know like that's just
349
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,640
that's a scary [ __ ]
350
00:27:34,039 --> 00:27:36,919
thought can't dwell on it
351
00:27:36,919 --> 00:27:40,520
though it'll make you
352
00:27:41,519 --> 00:27:44,519
[ __ ]
353
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,159
crazy I don't know but what else am I
354
00:27:48,159 --> 00:27:51,640
supposed to do
355
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,240
uh did you have trouble making friends
356
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,640
when you were
357
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,080
younger specific line of questioning
358
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,760
yeah yeah sorry I just I'm not trying to
359
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,880
be a dick I'm just I'm wondering
360
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,399
something I was not what you would
361
00:28:15,399 --> 00:28:20,720
call well liked what was going
362
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,320
on could you just remember always
363
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,880
feeling different like like
364
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,120
apart no
365
00:28:30,159 --> 00:28:32,159
more
366
00:28:32,159 --> 00:28:35,960
like above
367
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:40,840
above yeah the other kids [ __ ] bored
368
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,080
me I went out to recess it was as if
369
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:45,600
they had set loose a bunch of [ __ ]
370
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:51,000
farm animals you know I spent my time
371
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,559
alone was it was that like like hard on
372
00:28:55,559 --> 00:28:58,559
you
373
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,840
no for the most part the most
374
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:06,720
part yeah well what was like the Lesser
375
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,640
part if I were to examine myself I think
376
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:10,760
I would
377
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:14,399
say it left me
378
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,200
feeling
379
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,240
less than
380
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,399
impactful I went through a period of
381
00:29:21,399 --> 00:29:23,640
time where it felt like nothing I really
382
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,559
did mattered you're talking like
383
00:29:26,559 --> 00:29:29,440
powerlessness no
384
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,919
not explicitly I just
385
00:29:32,919 --> 00:29:35,880
mean it was as if I was a character and
386
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,640
everybody else's story like I existed to
387
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,480
create context to fill in
388
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,960
gaps but I wasn't in control I
389
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:51,120
wasn't writing my own story I wasn't in
390
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:55,440
control dude I've never felt in control
391
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,399
honestly well it doesn't seem as though
392
00:29:58,399 --> 00:30:01,720
it's particularly important to
393
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,640
you Jesus man that sounds
394
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,880
rough it was what it
395
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,559
was I was I was like the exact [ __ ]
396
00:30:19,559 --> 00:30:22,480
opposite I [ __ ] I craved attention
397
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,679
approval good or bad I just it's my
398
00:30:24,679 --> 00:30:27,559
[ __ ] curse dude my [ __ ] state of
399
00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,640
being directly relies on how others are
400
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,799
[ __ ] perceiving me it's my [ __ ]
401
00:30:32,799 --> 00:30:34,799
poison but
402
00:30:34,799 --> 00:30:37,559
like when I when I get you know when I
403
00:30:37,559 --> 00:30:40,039
make someone laugh or like when I smile
404
00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:41,640
at a girl in a thrift store and she like
405
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,519
smiles back like that makes it go away
406
00:30:43,519 --> 00:30:47,919
temporarily you know the poison Poison's
407
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,640
gone your
408
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,960
neediness
409
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,960
is your
410
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,159
weakness Teddy
411
00:30:58,159 --> 00:31:01,679
I I don't know about that one
412
00:31:01,679 --> 00:31:04,519
okay you sound like my [ __ ] parents
413
00:31:04,519 --> 00:31:05,559
yeah well I know you've had your
414
00:31:05,559 --> 00:31:07,240
troubles with them Teddy but a broken
415
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,679
clock is right twice a
416
00:31:09,679 --> 00:31:12,679
day
417
00:31:17,279 --> 00:31:21,159
so how did you get along your parents uh
418
00:31:21,159 --> 00:31:23,559
when you were
419
00:31:24,919 --> 00:31:27,720
younger fine you know status quo I did
420
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,159
my homework I wasn't really in any
421
00:31:30,159 --> 00:31:32,120
trouble with the other kid
422
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:35,679
so was fine yeah but you know what about
423
00:31:35,679 --> 00:31:37,880
like
424
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,440
interpersonally what do you mean Daddy
425
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:46,200
you know like how did you get along with
426
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,760
them there wasn't much getting a along
427
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,200
oh you guys were fighting all the time
428
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,360
no I mean they did sometimes but even
429
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,279
that
430
00:32:01,279 --> 00:32:06,240
was better what was it like on the
431
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,440
regular
432
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:15,279
quiet did you feel like you can talk to
433
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,559
them we were surprisingly open when
434
00:32:19,559 --> 00:32:22,559
there was talking to be
435
00:32:22,559 --> 00:32:27,480
had like what' you guys talk about
436
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:33,840
well I was younger so I remember I
437
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,679
mostly did a lot of listening but I
438
00:32:36,679 --> 00:32:40,080
remember it was a lot easier to talk
439
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,120
about how I
440
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:46,360
felt are you honest with
441
00:32:46,919 --> 00:32:49,919
them yeah I'm not a
442
00:32:49,919 --> 00:32:53,080
liar what did they say when you told
443
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,440
them you thought of everyone as farm
444
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,440
animals
445
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,919
you know I don't think I ever got to
446
00:33:02,919 --> 00:33:05,480
tell them
447
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,279
actually are your
448
00:33:08,279 --> 00:33:11,279
parents
449
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:22,120
[ __ ] get out see what's happening
450
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,080
we got a
451
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,399
flat we got a
452
00:33:36,399 --> 00:33:40,559
spare uh yeah and the
453
00:33:40,559 --> 00:33:43,639
trunk okay well we flip it on on feel
454
00:33:43,639 --> 00:33:45,000
like what what's the hold up let's go
455
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,080
come on
456
00:34:15,919 --> 00:34:18,480
uh hey can you shine a light over here
457
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:22,879
so I can uh see what I'm doing
458
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:50,040
okay hey
459
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,040
uh you know I I was just thinking about
460
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,280
it I I still don't know your
461
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,079
name yeah I'd prefer to keep it that way
462
00:35:24,079 --> 00:35:28,400
Teddy ah come on man
463
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:42,960
let's move
464
00:36:22,079 --> 00:36:25,079
hey what's up you got any
465
00:36:25,079 --> 00:36:29,240
gum uh yeah I I think in the club box
466
00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:32,400
let me oh no [ __ ] way
467
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,119
what I totally forgot this was in here
468
00:36:35,119 --> 00:36:39,200
we should totally smoked it uh you don't
469
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,240
you don't seem too
470
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:44,560
excited yeah it's it's just just been a
471
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,560
while have you never smoked
472
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,800
before no it's just been a while dude
473
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,359
dude it's dude it's it's fine you don't
474
00:36:53,359 --> 00:36:55,359
have to be embarrassed but like we
475
00:36:55,359 --> 00:36:59,520
should totally smoke this like
476
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,800
I don't know I don't know come on I'm
477
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,359
fine I've driv high like a million
478
00:37:03,359 --> 00:37:07,720
[ __ ] times uh dude come on like I
479
00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:09,760
haven't seen a cop all [ __ ] night
480
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,440
we're good it'll help me [ __ ] stay up
481
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,560
you
482
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,880
know fine fine [ __ ] it fine fine my man
483
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:25,160
all right you're lighter
484
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:36,960
[ __ ] this is actually some pretty good
485
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,480
[ __ ] [ __ ] go easy on you this is some
486
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,680
good [ __ ] go
487
00:37:52,079 --> 00:37:57,160
easy oh [ __ ] dude hit the window
488
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,760
[ __ ] what is the appeal with this you're
489
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,920
like five
490
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:12,400
minutes I'll take that Captain
491
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:21,280
Bogart you mind if I turn on the radio
492
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,040
right
493
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,160
going golden oldies this is Rick
494
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,400
Rochester how are we doing tonight
495
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,480
ladies and gentlemen hopefully staying
496
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,000
out of trouble no matter the case we're
497
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,040
here with you along for the ride with
498
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:39,520
more soothing sounds of the
499
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,920
60s you know I smoked grass for the
500
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:47,599
first time with my
501
00:38:47,599 --> 00:38:52,040
cousin same cousin as the cigarette yeah
502
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,800
yeah he was horrible influence you're
503
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:55,880
paying
504
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,040
attention all right listen
505
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,599
got me there I remember I was like 15
506
00:39:01,599 --> 00:39:04,960
and we were over for Thanksgiving and
507
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,040
[ __ ] classic story he [ __ ] he has
508
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,240
to go on a walk you know and I of course
509
00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:12,440
I say yes and we're going and we're just
510
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,760
like walking around the neighborhood and
511
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,440
it gets like you know it's 5 minutes
512
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:20,359
it's 10 minutes it's 15 20 and in
513
00:39:20,359 --> 00:39:23,839
between like 25 and 30 minutes I'm like
514
00:39:23,839 --> 00:39:24,960
what what the hell are we even like
515
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,880
doing out here and
516
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,839
he puts on this [ __ ] like the huge
517
00:39:29,839 --> 00:39:33,520
Grinch smile and he [ __ ] he pulls out
518
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:37,359
the biggest blun I've ever seen what's a
519
00:39:37,359 --> 00:39:40,520
BL oh it's it's like a cigar paper with
520
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,800
like weed and you know weed roll into
521
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,520
it yeah uh maybe you can smoke one of
522
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,760
those
523
00:39:50,319 --> 00:39:53,119
sometime yeah maybe yeah so we went to
524
00:39:53,119 --> 00:39:55,000
this park by my house and there's this
525
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,359
huge [ __ ] baseball diamond setup in
526
00:39:57,359 --> 00:39:59,040
and we go into the Dugout and this must
527
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,200
have been [ __ ] this tree must have
528
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:02,680
been grown on mars or something cuz it
529
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,880
was the smelliest [ __ ] [ __ ] I've ever
530
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,800
seen and he lights it and he he takes a
531
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:10,480
big old hit and you know it goes like
532
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,480
this it goes back and forth he hits it
533
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,160
he passes it to me and when he pass me
534
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:16,640
I'm
535
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:20,760
like it goes exactly like that
536
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,000
actually and you know when he's passing
537
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,760
to me my hands are like shaking and [ __ ]
538
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,400
and you know is yeah
539
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,800
and
540
00:40:33,119 --> 00:40:35,680
um so what happened
541
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,280
next well after a while smoking we
542
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,079
realized we're running like 5 minutes
543
00:40:40,079 --> 00:40:41,520
late to Thanksgiving dinner and in my
544
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,280
family that's that's the biggest [ __ ]
545
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,119
deal in the world they make like it's a
546
00:40:45,119 --> 00:40:47,440
big thing so he's all like get up on
547
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,400
your feet Soldier type of thing and I'm
548
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,920
[ __ ] baked I'm I'm out of my [ __ ]
549
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:54,960
mind and that gets me wearing cuz you
550
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,640
know to get bomb and I'm thinking like
551
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,400
we're at the [ __ ] end here like I'm dead
552
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,440
I'm [ __ ] dead excuse
553
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,880
me Captain
554
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:09,760
Bogarts all right my
555
00:41:17,060 --> 00:41:20,150
[Music]
556
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:29,000
B some good [ __ ] told you yeah I can't
557
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:29,880
believe you're
558
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,880
[ __ ] driving right
559
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:37,440
now well you did what you
560
00:41:40,079 --> 00:41:45,200
have how is it how is it
561
00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:49,319
it the story oh right right right um we
562
00:41:49,319 --> 00:41:51,640
come crashing through the
563
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,319
door and everyone's looking at us
564
00:41:54,319 --> 00:41:57,079
obviously like they all noticed and you
565
00:41:57,079 --> 00:41:58,760
know know we just [ __ ] we just kind
566
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:00,640
of gingerly go get our food and go to
567
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,920
our seats and I'm just I I'm this is the
568
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,040
first time I'm high so I'm [ __ ] so
569
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,640
paranoid so I'm just I'm trying to focus
570
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,079
on the food and like just eat food and
571
00:42:10,079 --> 00:42:12,640
shovel it into my mouth and I notice
572
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:17,599
that my mom is staring at me oh God yeah
573
00:42:17,599 --> 00:42:19,800
I know she starts asking me like like
574
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,960
all these questions like like how's the
575
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,640
food like isn't it great that everyone's
576
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,680
here and I'm I'm [ __ ] I'm confused
577
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,119
cuz like you can't get anything past
578
00:42:30,119 --> 00:42:32,720
this woman like nothing so I'm wondering
579
00:42:32,720 --> 00:42:34,960
if she just hasn't quite noticed or
580
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,040
whatever and you know why why is she
581
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:38,559
bringing this up is you know when I'm
582
00:42:38,559 --> 00:42:41,040
thinking to myself and finally [ __ ]
583
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,240
eventually she's like
584
00:42:43,240 --> 00:42:46,280
Teddy and I [ __ ] I I I like look at
585
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:47,800
Grant and he's got the big [ __ ]
586
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:49,520
Grinch smile on his face and she's like
587
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:50,880
and she does again but like more Ser
588
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:52,559
she's like
589
00:42:52,559 --> 00:42:54,920
Ted and I'm
590
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,760
like and I I just I [ __ ] I bring my
591
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:01,520
eyes up to her I [ __ ] I face the
592
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,800
music she's like
593
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,760
laughing she's like beside herself
594
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,520
something like she can't stop and I'm
595
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:12,119
like Mom what what's wrong Mom Mom and
596
00:43:12,119 --> 00:43:14,359
she she can't [ __ ] stop laughing
597
00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:17,520
she's beside herself she she literally
598
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,359
can't stop and and after a while she
599
00:43:19,359 --> 00:43:21,839
like she collects herself she's
600
00:43:21,839 --> 00:43:25,520
like first time and then everyone starts
601
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,319
dying
602
00:43:27,319 --> 00:43:29,240
what yeah dude I don't know and like I
603
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:31,800
think my uncle laugh and even my grandma
604
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,200
did I don't know if they like they
605
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,440
planned all that with Grant or like they
606
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,720
just all got caught up in the moment but
607
00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:41,640
like for that one moment everything felt
608
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:45,160
normal there wasn't me or her these
609
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:47,680
years of screaming and history it was it
610
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:52,920
was just us as a family simple
611
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,599
happy I I wish I knew how much I was
612
00:43:55,599 --> 00:43:58,160
going to miss that feeling I wish I how
613
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,240
scarce a resource that would
614
00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:12,680
become it's a nice story
615
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,359
yeah all this driving's got me thinking
616
00:44:16,359 --> 00:44:18,359
about my folks
617
00:44:18,359 --> 00:44:22,760
yeah yeah how so you guys do a lot of it
618
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,559
oh yeah every single week I you know
619
00:44:24,559 --> 00:44:27,920
hours [ __ ] hours
620
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:30,599
I always [ __ ] hated it you
621
00:44:30,599 --> 00:44:32,520
know
622
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:35,520
but
623
00:44:36,079 --> 00:44:38,839
somehow this trip feels
624
00:44:38,839 --> 00:44:42,160
different good
625
00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:52,119
different yeah you know
626
00:44:52,319 --> 00:44:56,520
nostalgic I wish
627
00:45:00,079 --> 00:45:03,079
what happened with your
628
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:24,880
parents that one that were
629
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:28,960
young how young we talking
630
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,559
High School age is not
631
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:37,240
matter I remember my mom told me one
632
00:45:37,240 --> 00:45:38,839
time that the first time she ever laid
633
00:45:38,839 --> 00:45:41,400
eyes on my father she thought he was the
634
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:45,079
most beautiful creature she'd ever
635
00:45:45,079 --> 00:45:47,640
seen he played LaCrosse or something
636
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,520
like that and uh she used to go every
637
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:50,760
single one of his
638
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,880
games and they lost that season the last
639
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:55,640
leg of the playoffs and my father was
640
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,520
walking towards his car cursing himself
641
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:01,480
when Mom went up to him and he
642
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,079
recognized her immediately that was
643
00:46:03,079 --> 00:46:05,079
something she always used to bring
644
00:46:05,079 --> 00:46:07,280
up so they started seeing each other
645
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:09,440
through that
646
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,880
summer and the next year and the next
647
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:16,200
and they were ravenously in love or so
648
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:17,880
Mom used to say you know and I'm sure
649
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:19,319
she exaggerated but I've seen the
650
00:46:19,319 --> 00:46:23,400
[ __ ] pictures like that spark was
651
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:28,280
real at one point it it was there
652
00:46:28,319 --> 00:46:30,920
did something
653
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,520
change no not for a few
654
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,400
years they went up to college
655
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,680
together two of them and it was right
656
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:43,319
around then that my father really
657
00:46:43,319 --> 00:46:45,040
started making it hard on her you know
658
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,880
he develop attension for drinking and it
659
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:49,720
was always just a drink to many away
660
00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:51,000
from like feeling up the [ __ ]
661
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,880
waitress you
662
00:46:54,119 --> 00:46:58,839
know he was a [ __ ] pig
663
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,559
[ __ ]
664
00:47:01,599 --> 00:47:04,240
pck this whole life
665
00:47:04,240 --> 00:47:08,400
all all he did was
666
00:47:12,599 --> 00:47:16,119
consume can I get
667
00:47:16,359 --> 00:47:19,760
the yeah yeah sorry don't apologize I
668
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,000
going get this [ __ ]
669
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:25,319
out so they break up in
670
00:47:25,319 --> 00:47:27,359
college no
671
00:47:27,359 --> 00:47:29,680
I almost did though one night my mom had
672
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,599
had enough she walked in on my father
673
00:47:32,599 --> 00:47:34,400
hooking up with some [ __ ] [ __ ] from
674
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,319
one of his classes and she told him
675
00:47:36,319 --> 00:47:38,440
right there that they were [ __ ]
676
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:42,280
finished she walked
677
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,760
out sounds like it's probably the best
678
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:46,359
decision
679
00:47:46,359 --> 00:47:48,599
yeah it would have
680
00:47:48,599 --> 00:47:51,800
been what
681
00:47:53,559 --> 00:47:55,960
happened what happened Teddy is that
682
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:57,559
human being's
683
00:47:57,559 --> 00:48:00,640
are emotional stupid
684
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:03,200
[ __ ] monkeys what happened is that my
685
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,480
father chased her into the street
686
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,359
professing his love and his deep
687
00:48:07,359 --> 00:48:09,880
admiration and he fell to his [ __ ]
688
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:14,480
knees and he asked her to marry
689
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,440
him
690
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:21,040
and she said
691
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,559
yes I
692
00:48:23,559 --> 00:48:26,000
moved moved after that from the city to
693
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,760
the suburbs since
694
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,319
and for a few more years there all was
695
00:48:31,319 --> 00:48:33,839
well you know that once all two dead
696
00:48:33,839 --> 00:48:36,720
spark had become this raging [ __ ]
697
00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:41,079
bonfire the pig kept his hands to
698
00:48:41,079 --> 00:48:45,359
himself I would last
699
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:49,839
though
700
00:48:49,839 --> 00:48:56,559
no Mom vomited one morning the shower
701
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:58,280
she was
702
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:02,160
pregnant was it their
703
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,240
plan maybe they talked about it in the
704
00:49:05,240 --> 00:49:06,680
way that every married couple talks
705
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:11,920
about it no it was not their
706
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:19,119
plan it was the thing to
707
00:49:21,559 --> 00:49:25,559
do yes
708
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:30,040
things quickly began to spiral after
709
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,480
that you know kids have this way I'm
710
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:36,680
just ruining [ __ ]
711
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:39,119
everything they froze up they stopped
712
00:49:39,119 --> 00:49:40,760
talking to each other it got to the
713
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:43,359
point where my father was coming and
714
00:49:43,359 --> 00:49:45,359
going at like complete [ __ ] random
715
00:49:45,359 --> 00:49:48,559
and we never knew where he
716
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:54,760
was things got bad things got really
717
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:58,040
bad and one day
718
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:00,720
my mom had enough she calls him up on
719
00:50:00,720 --> 00:50:03,119
the phone she says that she can't do
720
00:50:03,119 --> 00:50:04,280
this anymore you know she doesn't
721
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:07,319
recogniz herself
722
00:50:08,119 --> 00:50:11,599
anymore what did he
723
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:15,079
say he
724
00:50:15,079 --> 00:50:17,480
said
725
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:21,200
okay he hung up the
726
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,040
phone he
727
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,920
moved about 3 hours away after that got
728
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:28,079
some cushy [ __ ] desk job started
729
00:50:28,079 --> 00:50:31,640
[ __ ] this skank 10 years is Junior
730
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:34,839
and that was the worst period you know I
731
00:50:34,839 --> 00:50:36,839
could have lived every single day of my
732
00:50:36,839 --> 00:50:39,040
life never seen my [ __ ] father came
733
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:40,760
to my
734
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:44,480
mom she was always asking where I was or
735
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:45,880
who I was with and you know the [ __ ]
736
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:47,200
funny thing is I was never doing
737
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,079
anything but she just she just couldn't
738
00:50:49,079 --> 00:50:51,920
believe me you know I think the
739
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:54,200
pig I think the pig took that part of
740
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:57,359
her win
741
00:50:58,359 --> 00:51:00,480
then one
742
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:03,760
day Mom FES in the
743
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,079
kitchen it's fine right it happens to a
744
00:51:06,079 --> 00:51:07,640
million people every single [ __ ] day
745
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,000
but just to be safe they take her in and
746
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,799
they start running some
747
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,640
tests they
748
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:22,359
find they found that she was sick that
749
00:51:22,359 --> 00:51:27,040
she was really [ __ ] sick
750
00:51:27,079 --> 00:51:28,799
but it's fine right they caught it early
751
00:51:28,799 --> 00:51:30,200
and there all these [ __ ] things they
752
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:33,359
could do so they start plugging her full
753
00:51:33,359 --> 00:51:36,079
of
754
00:51:36,079 --> 00:51:39,280
tubes and
755
00:51:40,079 --> 00:51:44,160
needles [ __ ] hair falls
756
00:51:44,559 --> 00:51:47,160
out I'm with her every single day you
757
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:48,680
know that's the that's the one good
758
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:49,839
thing to come from this [ __ ]
759
00:51:49,839 --> 00:51:51,880
abomination of a situation we get close
760
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:55,200
we get real close the way a mother and a
761
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:59,040
son should be
762
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,319
close and one
763
00:52:01,319 --> 00:52:05,480
day that good thing just
764
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:09,160
becomes [ __ ] worst
765
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:12,160
thing because they sit her
766
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:15,160
down they say Hey you gave it your best
767
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:19,119
and fought real hard but it
768
00:52:19,119 --> 00:52:21,480
just it wasn't
769
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:24,480
enough so here are some things we can
770
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:27,119
advise for you and here's some
771
00:52:27,119 --> 00:52:30,720
hospice centers we think you should
772
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,520
contact you know the biggest [ __ ]
773
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:42,359
joke of the whole
774
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:46,359
situation my father that big
775
00:52:46,359 --> 00:52:49,599
[ __ ] he ran as soon as we found out you
776
00:52:49,599 --> 00:52:51,200
know it was just just like that he was
777
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:52,680
[ __ ] gone we never heard from him
778
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:56,760
again and it's not like
779
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:00,839
I expected anything else right
780
00:53:00,839 --> 00:53:03,319
but God if there was ever a moment to be
781
00:53:03,319 --> 00:53:06,480
proven [ __ ]
782
00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:14,640
wrong what happened to your
783
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:17,720
mom
784
00:53:17,720 --> 00:53:22,799
oh well she [ __ ] died I I know no I'm
785
00:53:22,799 --> 00:53:25,559
sorry I just I meant I I [ __ ] I just
786
00:53:25,559 --> 00:53:28,440
shut the [ __ ] out
787
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,240
what what happened
788
00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:34,440
after what
789
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:37,440
happened I inherited a little bit of
790
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:39,440
money after the funeral wasn't much but
791
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,720
it was a little you know and I
792
00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:46,680
started working odd jobs and
793
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:50,640
construction you know I got by I made
794
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:53,079
enough but it just kept getting Tighter
795
00:53:53,079 --> 00:53:55,440
and [ __ ] tighter around my
796
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,960
chest and one day I woke up and I looked
797
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,119
at myself and I just I couldn't [ __ ]
798
00:54:00,119 --> 00:54:02,400
do it anymore and so I I went and I told
799
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,200
him to quit [ __ ] I'm going home I'm
800
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:08,520
leaving and I did I came back and I
801
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:10,920
just sat around my place you know
802
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:14,040
whittling down my savings on
803
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:17,319
food I
804
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:20,799
just couldn't do it
805
00:54:20,799 --> 00:54:23,920
anymore I know what you mean
806
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:28,160
man for what it's worth like I'm sorry
807
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:30,319
man
808
00:54:30,319 --> 00:54:33,000
97.5 I don't know about all of you
809
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,319
listening out there but it's been a long
810
00:54:35,319 --> 00:54:37,960
night for old Rick here in the studio
811
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,720
getting weary I won't lie to you but
812
00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:42,880
I'll tell you [ __ ] happen there's
813
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,359
nothing more Awakening than the power of
814
00:54:45,359 --> 00:54:51,040
music more golden oldies coming your way
815
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:15,200
uh hey man I heard that uh I got a
816
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:16,520
couple sandwiches in the trunk if you
817
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,440
want to like stop and eat you
818
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,359
know
819
00:55:21,359 --> 00:55:24,880
no let's just keep going man I could I
820
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,559
just I could really use a break
821
00:55:27,559 --> 00:55:29,480
look dude I'll [ __ ] I'll play by the
822
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:34,520
rules everything will go good like come
823
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:39,240
on all right man it's your call but good
824
00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:41,480
breakfast sounds [ __ ] amazing right
825
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,480
now
826
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:57,050
[Music]
827
00:56:00,319 --> 00:56:02,799
uh you know I was I I was talking about
828
00:56:02,799 --> 00:56:04,799
it
829
00:56:04,799 --> 00:56:07,920
earlier what's on your mind Teddy you
830
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,839
know you know [ __ ] has been [ __ ]
831
00:56:10,839 --> 00:56:13,839
hard for me you know I I really truly
832
00:56:13,839 --> 00:56:16,480
like relate to you in that sense [ __ ] is
833
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:18,319
hard for a lot of people Teddy you know
834
00:56:18,319 --> 00:56:21,799
most people I I know I know I just
835
00:56:21,799 --> 00:56:24,240
I I'm not trying to throw a [ __ ] pity
836
00:56:24,240 --> 00:56:26,720
party I I just
837
00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:30,720
do you ever feel [ __ ]
838
00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:35,400
crazy one time in uh high school there
839
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:37,480
was this
840
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:40,440
girl there was this
841
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:43,880
girl her name was Sienna and I was I was
842
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:46,520
really [ __ ] in her you know she was
843
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:49,520
genuinely [ __ ] smart and funny and
844
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:51,720
she was so [ __ ] beautiful it was not
845
00:56:51,720 --> 00:56:54,119
like [ __ ] everybody else you know
846
00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:56,920
and I was I was scared [ __ ] shitless
847
00:56:56,920 --> 00:57:00,000
because she was in this [ __ ] separate
848
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,119
Echelon than me so I get this [ __ ] I
849
00:57:03,119 --> 00:57:04,839
get this little [ __ ] idea in my head
850
00:57:04,839 --> 00:57:07,440
and you know it's [ __ ] it's cute it's
851
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:11,039
it's a little much maybe but it's what
852
00:57:11,039 --> 00:57:13,880
did you do Teddy okay so
853
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,559
she she lived in the same neighborhood
854
00:57:16,559 --> 00:57:17,240
as
855
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:19,760
me and I saw her walking home from
856
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:21,000
school every day while I was walking
857
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:22,680
home from school so I write this little
858
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:25,920
[ __ ] cringe little poem and I get
859
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:28,559
[ __ ] I get her [ __ ] flowers and candy
860
00:57:28,559 --> 00:57:29,400
and
861
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:31,760
[ __ ] and all this [ __ ] and I [ __ ]
862
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:33,920
I I leave it at her door and I I [ __ ]
863
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:35,760
I walk away and you know I'm I'm
864
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:37,319
thinking to myself like you know you
865
00:57:37,319 --> 00:57:39,359
[ __ ] you made your [ __ ] move man
866
00:57:39,359 --> 00:57:42,760
worst thing she could say is [ __ ] no
867
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,799
right
868
00:57:44,799 --> 00:57:47,400
wrong I [ __ ] I get to school the next
869
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:49,400
day and [ __ ] people are pointing at
870
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:50,520
me and they're [ __ ] laughing and
871
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:51,880
they're making all these [ __ ] faces
872
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:53,480
and I [ __ ] obviously I put it together
873
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,480
that she [ __ ] made this [ __ ] big
874
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:57,839
thing out of it but it's like 1,000%
875
00:57:57,839 --> 00:57:59,880
worse because she goes to the [ __ ]
876
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:02,039
principal and she says these things like
877
00:58:02,039 --> 00:58:04,160
[ __ ] totally inappropriate and
878
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:07,280
invasion of privacy and
879
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:09,000
[Applause]
880
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,839
creepy and they [ __ ] they call me in
881
00:58:11,839 --> 00:58:13,559
there and they [ __ ] ask me all these
882
00:58:13,559 --> 00:58:15,760
questions and there's [ __ ] guy
883
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:17,400
[ __ ] writing down everything I say
884
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:20,039
and [ __ ] that was that I just [ __ ] I
885
00:58:20,039 --> 00:58:22,640
was [ __ ] suspended for 5 days and my
886
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,640
mom was mortified she just wanted to
887
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:26,359
[ __ ] talk about it with everybody she
888
00:58:26,359 --> 00:58:29,160
you know every chance she got and my dad
889
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:31,480
was just [ __ ] he can barely process
890
00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:33,240
what's [ __ ] happening and then I go
891
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:35,480
back to school and I'm like the [ __ ]
892
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:37,319
town creep I'm the joke of the [ __ ]
893
00:58:37,319 --> 00:58:39,960
block and and [ __ ] it was already
894
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:41,799
hard enough [ __ ] finding people that
895
00:58:41,799 --> 00:58:43,440
wanted to hang out with me you know that
896
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:45,200
it was already [ __ ] Rarity but you
897
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:47,079
know now
898
00:58:47,079 --> 00:58:49,440
[ __ ] and I just [ __ ] sat in my
899
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:53,400
room and I [ __ ] rotted and I festered
900
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,760
and when I was a kid I had always
901
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:56,680
[ __ ]
902
00:58:56,680 --> 00:58:59,400
feared that nobody was bothered by my
903
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,240
absence that nobody [ __ ] noticed when
904
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,640
I was gone and it [ __ ] sucked to find
905
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,400
out that was
906
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:10,880
true and it made me feel [ __ ] crazy
907
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:13,000
cuz I I could see why it a little bit
908
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,920
overbearing maybe assumptive even but
909
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:18,720
creepy
910
00:59:18,799 --> 00:59:21,880
I I could have never [ __ ] seen that
911
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:24,160
from Like A Million Miles Away in that
912
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:27,799
[ __ ] crazy begin to rot [ __ ]
913
00:59:27,799 --> 00:59:31,760
Fester it's so wrong it feels like there
914
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:35,559
are [ __ ] centipedes and roaches and
915
00:59:35,559 --> 00:59:38,160
spiders in my [ __ ] brain and they're
916
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:40,079
chewing through
917
00:59:40,079 --> 00:59:44,720
it I feel [ __ ] insane
918
00:59:58,319 --> 01:00:02,480
[ __ ] man you never get used to
919
01:00:05,119 --> 01:00:08,119
it
920
01:00:08,799 --> 01:00:12,200
yep you boys having a good night good
921
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,960
morning I should
922
01:00:18,359 --> 01:00:20,280
say how about
923
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:23,960
you sorry
924
01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:27,480
yeah you know I find often it
925
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:29,799
this it always looks better after a
926
01:00:29,799 --> 01:00:31,440
storm you know what I
927
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:34,599
mean I I guess
928
01:00:34,599 --> 01:00:38,000
so what kind of weather makes you the
929
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,160
happiest I don't I don't
930
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:44,079
[ __ ] is that really true would you
931
01:00:44,079 --> 01:00:45,599
[ __ ] mind we're in the middle of
932
01:00:45,599 --> 01:00:47,960
something
933
01:00:48,359 --> 01:00:52,599
here got it I can take a hint I'll leave
934
01:00:52,599 --> 01:00:56,160
you boys to it
935
01:01:08,599 --> 01:01:11,599
let me tell you a story
936
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:17,960
Teddy when I was
937
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:20,240
15 this girl came up to me and she
938
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:23,960
tapped me on my shoulder and she was
939
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:26,160
telling me that her friend was really
940
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:27,720
[ __ ] into me and her friend just so
941
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:29,039
happened to be one of the most popular
942
01:01:29,039 --> 01:01:31,880
girls in the whole
943
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:35,440
school so I
944
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:38,039
remember I remember distinctly telling
945
01:01:38,039 --> 01:01:40,119
her to [ __ ] off a couple times because I
946
01:01:40,119 --> 01:01:41,440
was certain that she was lying to me
947
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:42,960
this was [ __ ] [ __ ] but she keeps
948
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:44,760
swearing to me up and down that this is
949
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:47,000
the truth that she's telling
950
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,720
me
951
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:52,200
truth so I go up to her friend later
952
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:53,960
that day and I ask her if she wants to
953
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:56,119
go see a movie with me later that
954
01:01:56,119 --> 01:01:58,200
weekend and she
955
01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:00,079
said
956
01:02:00,079 --> 01:02:02,920
yes I go home that night and this is
957
01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:04,960
[ __ ] stupid this is truly [ __ ]
958
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:08,319
stupid Teddy but I really start to care
959
01:02:08,319 --> 01:02:10,520
you know I try on 50 different [ __ ]
960
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:14,319
outfits I styled my hair like I
961
01:02:14,319 --> 01:02:17,440
I I really cared about
962
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:20,680
this what
963
01:02:23,799 --> 01:02:26,520
happened well
964
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:29,720
we go and it's a nice time you know I'm
965
01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:31,720
not thinking about every little [ __ ]
966
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,440
movement I make and I'm cracking jokes
967
01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:36,839
even and I'm I'm loosening up I'm just
968
01:02:36,839 --> 01:02:39,640
I'm I'm just enjoying myself you know
969
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:41,520
I'm
970
01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:44,960
just I'm just having a good
971
01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:48,680
time I'm walking her up to her door at
972
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:50,000
the end of the
973
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,799
night and I
974
01:02:52,799 --> 01:02:57,720
ask I can kiss her m she said
975
01:02:57,720 --> 01:03:00,720
no
976
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:05,039
no she said yes
977
01:03:05,039 --> 01:03:09,599
really yes really so we
978
01:03:09,599 --> 01:03:14,079
do and it's nice and I say I'd love to
979
01:03:14,079 --> 01:03:16,240
see you again and she says that sounds
980
01:03:16,240 --> 01:03:18,480
great and I walk away and I hear the
981
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:20,599
door close behind me
982
01:03:20,599 --> 01:03:23,119
and I'm feeling things that I've never
983
01:03:23,119 --> 01:03:26,720
felt before I mean this is Triumph This
984
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:30,520
is Victory this
985
01:03:31,839 --> 01:03:34,480
is
986
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:36,720
happiness sounds that sounds [ __ ]
987
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:38,880
great
988
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:42,160
dude it
989
01:03:42,359 --> 01:03:45,200
was then I get to school that next
990
01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:47,200
Monday and I'm walking in my first class
991
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:49,240
when I get shoved from behind I hit the
992
01:03:49,240 --> 01:03:50,960
[ __ ] ground and there's two or three
993
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:52,279
guys and they're kicking the [ __ ] out of
994
01:03:52,279 --> 01:03:54,839
me and finally after a minute they
995
01:03:54,839 --> 01:03:58,200
stopped and I get a look at him and it's
996
01:03:58,200 --> 01:03:59,960
the ex-boyfriend of the girl that I had
997
01:03:59,960 --> 01:04:01,720
just taken out of that [ __ ] weekend
998
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:04,240
right but he's singing a different tune
999
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:06,039
he's saying that I'm not going to get
1000
01:04:06,039 --> 01:04:07,480
the [ __ ] away with this and I need to
1001
01:04:07,480 --> 01:04:11,279
stay away from his [ __ ] girl and the
1002
01:04:11,279 --> 01:04:14,119
[ __ ] was he talking
1003
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:17,520
about I have no
1004
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:21,039
idea the third period I had a class with
1005
01:04:21,039 --> 01:04:22,520
the friend that had tapped me that had
1006
01:04:22,520 --> 01:04:24,319
started this whole [ __ ] thing so I
1007
01:04:24,319 --> 01:04:26,520
went up to her
1008
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:28,599
I asked her what the [ __ ] was going on
1009
01:04:28,599 --> 01:04:31,440
and she turns white as ghost she tells
1010
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:33,680
me to get the [ __ ] away from her and she
1011
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:35,400
calls me
1012
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:40,799
a she calls me a sexual
1013
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:44,279
assaulter did
1014
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:47,440
you
1015
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:51,119
no look you can [ __ ] believe me or
1016
01:04:51,119 --> 01:04:52,760
not Teddy doesn't make a shred of
1017
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:56,520
difference okay
1018
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:03,359
what what happened what happened after
1019
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:06,960
then I went to her
1020
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:09,200
house and she was the only one there
1021
01:05:09,200 --> 01:05:12,079
luckily so I pounded I [ __ ] pounded
1022
01:05:12,079 --> 01:05:13,680
on the door until she opened and I
1023
01:05:13,680 --> 01:05:16,200
demanded that she tell me what the [ __ ]
1024
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:17,440
was going
1025
01:05:17,440 --> 01:05:21,319
on and she closed me
1026
01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:26,160
in what did she say
1027
01:05:30,520 --> 01:05:33,520
she was honest with
1028
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:36,920
me you know she told me the whole thing
1029
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:38,880
was a [ __ ] lie it was all just a ruse
1030
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:40,599
to make him jealous she was never
1031
01:05:40,599 --> 01:05:42,000
interested in me in the [ __ ] first
1032
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,960
place and she said that she was
1033
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:46,240
sorry and that she would tell everyone
1034
01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:48,160
the truth and she did and she did true
1035
01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:51,000
to her [ __ ] word she did
1036
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:53,680
but when you say something like that
1037
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:56,960
it's impossible to to just slap The
1038
01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:58,760
Quirk back on you know even when people
1039
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:00,200
found out it didn't make a [ __ ]
1040
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:02,039
difference because apparently I had a
1041
01:06:02,039 --> 01:06:04,960
Vibe so I was
1042
01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:08,680
just the rapist
1043
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,079
kid and you want to know the biggest
1044
01:06:12,079 --> 01:06:13,680
[ __ ] joke of the whole thing the
1045
01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:15,279
biggest [ __ ] laugh of this whole
1046
01:06:15,279 --> 01:06:17,839
situation
1047
01:06:18,799 --> 01:06:22,200
Teddy I'm a
1048
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:27,559
virgin I'm a [ __ ] virgin
1049
01:06:35,799 --> 01:06:38,960
and I I I don't understand what like why
1050
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:42,160
you're telling me all this the point
1051
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:44,799
Teddy is that people are going to let
1052
01:06:44,799 --> 01:06:47,880
you down constantly okay they lie they
1053
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,200
cheat they
1054
01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:51,760
mislead why are you placing yourself in
1055
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:53,359
this position of disappointment you know
1056
01:06:53,359 --> 01:06:55,160
hoping Beyond hopes that this time
1057
01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:57,160
around things will be
1058
01:06:57,160 --> 01:07:01,559
different they won't be well what's the
1059
01:07:01,559 --> 01:07:03,599
alternative then like [ __ ] shutting
1060
01:07:03,599 --> 01:07:06,880
everyone out [ __ ]
1061
01:07:09,559 --> 01:07:12,720
everyone I don't know you know maybe
1062
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:14,319
it's [ __ ] ridiculous dude like you
1063
01:07:14,319 --> 01:07:16,400
have to talk to people you have to talk
1064
01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:18,000
to
1065
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:21,160
people people don't talk to
1066
01:07:21,160 --> 01:07:26,319
me but but that can change
1067
01:07:28,119 --> 01:07:31,119
no
1068
01:07:32,599 --> 01:07:35,480
Insanity it's a vague term Teddy it's
1069
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:37,799
gray and opaque and and confusing you
1070
01:07:37,799 --> 01:07:39,200
know by
1071
01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:43,359
Nature if you're going to waste your
1072
01:07:43,599 --> 01:07:47,880
time do it on something you can
1073
01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:51,480
control you should
1074
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:56,079
eat before it gets stale
1075
01:07:58,359 --> 01:08:01,440
you know like I I could be your friend
1076
01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:03,599
you
1077
01:08:04,880 --> 01:08:08,880
know really yeah I mean I mean like
1078
01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:12,559
we're talking right now aren't
1079
01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:20,000
we
1080
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:24,520
yeah I guess we are
1081
01:08:33,199 --> 01:08:36,719
hey I I'm
1082
01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:40,679
sorry think nothing of
1083
01:08:43,480 --> 01:08:45,400
it
1084
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:48,319
Bill
1085
01:08:48,319 --> 01:08:51,640
what my
1086
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:56,560
name spill
1087
01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:18,440
H hey
1088
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:21,920
Bill yeah what's up Teddy uh can I ask
1089
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:23,080
you
1090
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:26,080
something sure go ahead uh
1091
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:28,679
you believe in
1092
01:09:28,799 --> 01:09:30,799
God do
1093
01:09:30,799 --> 01:09:36,159
you yeah no sometimes I I I don't know I
1094
01:09:36,159 --> 01:09:38,319
guess that's why I do like the asking
1095
01:09:38,319 --> 01:09:41,719
about it what do you
1096
01:09:42,400 --> 01:09:47,400
think I think we are incredibly small
1097
01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:50,279
microcosm of whatever it is that's
1098
01:09:50,279 --> 01:09:52,960
actually going on uh you're thinking
1099
01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:56,239
like like Beyond yeah yeah I think if
1100
01:09:56,239 --> 01:09:59,440
there was to be a a God or some greater
1101
01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:02,920
power that thing would be so completely
1102
01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:04,800
incomprehensible to us there wouldn't be
1103
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:07,199
any understanding in either direction or
1104
01:10:07,199 --> 01:10:08,440
at least it's really difficult to
1105
01:10:08,440 --> 01:10:10,480
imagine there would be I mean think
1106
01:10:10,480 --> 01:10:13,120
about an ant how many ants do you walk
1107
01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:15,080
by on a daily basis you know 100
1108
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:17,719
thousand you look at them every single
1109
01:10:17,719 --> 01:10:20,520
one of them is marching they are
1110
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:22,360
dedicated they have a sole purpose they
1111
01:10:22,360 --> 01:10:26,760
are on some level intelligent but
1112
01:10:26,760 --> 01:10:28,480
have you ever thought for a [ __ ]
1113
01:10:28,480 --> 01:10:30,159
moment in your life about trying to talk
1114
01:10:30,159 --> 01:10:31,520
to an
1115
01:10:31,520 --> 01:10:34,600
aunt oh that's [ __ ] stupid yeah
1116
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:36,520
exactly that's exactly what I'm saying I
1117
01:10:36,520 --> 01:10:38,080
I can't imagine that's too dissimilar an
1118
01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:40,400
experience that would be had by a God or
1119
01:10:40,400 --> 01:10:41,640
whatever the [ __ ] you want to call it
1120
01:10:41,640 --> 01:10:43,199
trying to talk
1121
01:10:43,199 --> 01:10:45,400
to but like you don't think there'd be
1122
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:47,440
any like crossover cuz like I you know
1123
01:10:47,440 --> 01:10:48,960
I've never talked to ants but like
1124
01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:51,120
they're pretty [ __ ] interesting to
1125
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:54,199
watch well yeah yeah I mean how many
1126
01:10:54,199 --> 01:10:56,040
faiths say that exact same thing like
1127
01:10:56,040 --> 01:10:58,280
the Lord and His Infinite wi must be
1128
01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:00,120
watching us you know there are [ __ ]
1129
01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:04,560
verses about it really yeah yeah you
1130
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:08,159
know the Lord Watches Over You the Lord
1131
01:11:08,159 --> 01:11:10,440
is the shade at your right hand the sun
1132
01:11:10,440 --> 01:11:13,080
will not harm you by day nor the Moon by
1133
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:16,600
Night the Lord will protect your life
1134
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:18,960
the Lord will watch your coming and
1135
01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:23,560
going now forever more oh wow I didn't
1136
01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:26,880
realize you were like religious
1137
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:30,640
I'm not not particularly anyway well you
1138
01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:33,400
know that seemed like pretty
1139
01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:35,040
memorized
1140
01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:38,520
yeah who's mom's
1141
01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:43,080
favorite what was what was she
1142
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:47,320
liked my
1143
01:11:48,440 --> 01:11:50,600
mom she went through a lot of [ __ ] in
1144
01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:53,120
her life you know she endured a lot and
1145
01:11:53,120 --> 01:11:55,960
I think there were times when
1146
01:11:55,960 --> 01:11:58,040
that [ __ ] she had to go
1147
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:00,960
through would affect her
1148
01:12:00,960 --> 01:12:03,320
more she
1149
01:12:03,320 --> 01:12:06,840
was she was somehow the nicest person
1150
01:12:06,840 --> 01:12:09,159
I've ever met and the [ __ ] meanest
1151
01:12:09,159 --> 01:12:10,560
you know it just
1152
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:12,880
depended like in my mother's stories
1153
01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:14,719
everyone was always the funniest version
1154
01:12:14,719 --> 01:12:17,639
of themselves but it was a double-edged
1155
01:12:17,639 --> 01:12:19,320
sword you know she
1156
01:12:19,320 --> 01:12:21,600
was she was always at the ends of
1157
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:24,600
extremes her entire life positive
1158
01:12:24,600 --> 01:12:26,159
negative
1159
01:12:26,159 --> 01:12:28,880
loving
1160
01:12:28,880 --> 01:12:32,080
mistrusting she was
1161
01:12:32,080 --> 01:12:36,480
confused to the very end sad you know
1162
01:12:36,480 --> 01:12:40,639
but she had this Indescribable ineffable
1163
01:12:40,639 --> 01:12:42,800
quality to
1164
01:12:42,800 --> 01:12:46,280
her and she lived she [ __ ] lived to
1165
01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:49,159
her very last
1166
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:55,400
day wow she sounds [ __ ] incredible
1167
01:12:55,600 --> 01:12:57,880
she
1168
01:12:59,560 --> 01:13:03,199
was what about your
1169
01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:06,440
dad I'd
1170
01:13:06,440 --> 01:13:08,920
rather it's difficult to think about
1171
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:11,320
without getting [ __ ]
1172
01:13:11,320 --> 01:13:13,480
furious I know what you
1173
01:13:13,480 --> 01:13:17,440
mean you get angry dude like a [ __ ]
1174
01:13:17,440 --> 01:13:19,520
ridiculous now I know I know it sounds
1175
01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:21,560
like corny but like sometimes
1176
01:13:21,560 --> 01:13:24,320
legitimately all I can see is [ __ ]
1177
01:13:24,320 --> 01:13:27,480
red hate hatred and I just [ __ ] like
1178
01:13:27,480 --> 01:13:29,199
I can't I don't even know what I'm
1179
01:13:29,199 --> 01:13:32,480
saying you ever
1180
01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:36,360
disassociate what does that
1181
01:13:36,360 --> 01:13:39,120
mean it's hard to describe it it's like
1182
01:13:39,120 --> 01:13:40,520
it's like just trying to describe the
1183
01:13:40,520 --> 01:13:43,320
[ __ ] feeling of being hungry uh it's
1184
01:13:43,320 --> 01:13:45,520
like your Consciousness is taking the
1185
01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:47,360
passenger seat like like you're watching
1186
01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:50,719
your [ __ ] life go by on a [ __ ] TV
1187
01:13:50,719 --> 01:13:53,159
screen you know what I mean that make
1188
01:13:53,159 --> 01:13:56,159
sense
1189
01:13:56,239 --> 01:13:58,159
no Teddy to be honest with you I usually
1190
01:13:58,159 --> 01:13:59,560
feel pretty
1191
01:13:59,560 --> 01:14:01,280
[ __ ]
1192
01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:03,719
clearheaded [ __ ] exactly what I'm
1193
01:14:03,719 --> 01:14:04,920
[ __ ] talking about dude he doesn't
1194
01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:06,639
know I'm [ __ ] talking about hey hey
1195
01:14:06,639 --> 01:14:09,719
hey hey hey [ __ ] come on cool it cool
1196
01:14:09,719 --> 01:14:13,800
it I'm good yeah I'm good
1197
01:14:13,800 --> 01:14:16,520
uh did your mom have any other verses
1198
01:14:16,520 --> 01:14:20,120
she liked like like comforting
1199
01:14:20,400 --> 01:14:23,280
ones yeah yeah there are a couple more I
1200
01:14:23,280 --> 01:14:27,159
can remember oh the Lord him the Lord
1201
01:14:27,159 --> 01:14:33,000
himself goes before you and will be with
1202
01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:35,719
you he will never leave
1203
01:14:35,719 --> 01:14:41,480
you or forsake you do not be
1204
01:14:41,480 --> 01:14:44,280
afraid do not be
1205
01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:48,679
discouraged ah so you got like another
1206
01:14:48,679 --> 01:14:51,159
one I walk
1207
01:14:51,159 --> 01:14:53,360
through the
1208
01:14:53,360 --> 01:14:57,000
darkest Valley
1209
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:58,600
I will
1210
01:14:58,600 --> 01:15:01,600
fear no
1211
01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:05,560
evil for you are with
1212
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:11,719
me it's a little hazy after that yeah it
1213
01:15:11,719 --> 01:15:15,199
it helped me thank
1214
01:15:16,679 --> 01:15:21,400
you we're we're getting pretty close now
1215
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:24,320
huh yeah hey man we've been pretty
1216
01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:25,600
[ __ ] gloomy for a minute you got any
1217
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:28,800
stories that are like
1218
01:15:28,880 --> 01:15:32,199
light uh I don't know come on man
1219
01:15:32,199 --> 01:15:35,120
there's got to be [ __ ]
1220
01:15:37,880 --> 01:15:41,000
something yeah there's
1221
01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:43,800
something yeah well [ __ ] spin me a
1222
01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:46,280
yarn
1223
01:15:46,400 --> 01:15:50,960
sir okay okay so I was uh was about
1224
01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:53,760
pen how was it recess and there was this
1225
01:15:53,760 --> 01:15:56,159
little [ __ ]
1226
01:15:56,159 --> 01:16:00,199
kid Aiden oh my [ __ ] God I can't
1227
01:16:00,199 --> 01:16:03,679
believe I remembered that his name was
1228
01:16:03,679 --> 01:16:06,239
Aiden [ __ ] it
1229
01:16:06,239 --> 01:16:10,320
okay so Aiden is on the
1230
01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:13,239
swings and I want to be on the swings oh
1231
01:16:13,239 --> 01:16:14,880
I I see exactly where this [ __ ]
1232
01:16:14,880 --> 01:16:16,719
story's going right so I go up to him
1233
01:16:16,719 --> 01:16:18,600
and I say something like get the [ __ ]
1234
01:16:18,600 --> 01:16:21,040
off the
1235
01:16:21,440 --> 01:16:23,920
swings he says
1236
01:16:23,920 --> 01:16:26,080
something he says something [ __ ]
1237
01:16:26,080 --> 01:16:30,840
stupid he says he says Bill don't
1238
01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:35,040
please oh my God I'm like [ __ ] you and I
1239
01:16:35,040 --> 01:16:38,280
push him off the swings
1240
01:16:38,360 --> 01:16:41,159
and he goes run into the [ __ ] teer
1241
01:16:41,159 --> 01:16:43,520
and he did dude he get all these [ __ ]
1242
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:45,239
stitches in his head he looked like such
1243
01:16:45,239 --> 01:16:49,719
a [ __ ] freak look like a monster dude
1244
01:16:49,719 --> 01:16:53,760
oh [ __ ] oh it's so good yeah Bill good
1245
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:56,840
good stuff yeah
1246
01:16:58,719 --> 01:17:03,760
what no man it was good
1247
01:17:04,080 --> 01:17:08,199
man I come on I I liked it I thought it
1248
01:17:08,199 --> 01:17:11,000
was pretty good I I did too I I I liked
1249
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:13,639
it I liked
1250
01:17:13,639 --> 01:17:17,159
it take a left up here come on man like
1251
01:17:17,159 --> 01:17:21,159
talk to me come on we drive
1252
01:17:21,719 --> 01:17:23,960
Teddy you can [ __ ] talk to me man
1253
01:17:23,960 --> 01:17:26,840
just drive
1254
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:32,719
Park up
1255
01:17:42,400 --> 01:17:44,280
here walk the
1256
01:17:44,280 --> 01:17:47,479
[Music]
1257
01:17:53,840 --> 01:17:57,840
trail e
1258
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:48,080
all right all
1259
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:52,520
right this is good
1260
01:18:56,880 --> 01:19:00,639
okay what the [ __ ] are we doing
1261
01:19:04,239 --> 01:19:07,400
here okay listen Bill Bill listen I'll
1262
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:09,560
[ __ ] forget I'll [ __ ] I'll keep my
1263
01:19:09,560 --> 01:19:10,800
mouth
1264
01:19:10,800 --> 01:19:13,480
shut
1265
01:19:13,480 --> 01:19:15,960
Teddy you know my name you've you've
1266
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:18,880
seen my face you can ID me from 50
1267
01:19:18,880 --> 01:19:21,159
[ __ ] miles away yeah but I I [ __ ]
1268
01:19:21,159 --> 01:19:22,800
won't I'll [ __ ] I'll [ __ ] forget
1269
01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:24,400
all of this I'll [ __ ] I'll keep my
1270
01:19:24,400 --> 01:19:25,840
mouth
1271
01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:29,320
shut bill
1272
01:19:34,960 --> 01:19:37,840
please do you even have a [ __ ] friend
1273
01:19:37,840 --> 01:19:40,080
out
1274
01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:43,360
here oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my
1275
01:19:43,360 --> 01:19:44,840
God oh my God oh my God why is this
1276
01:19:44,840 --> 01:19:47,239
happening why is this
1277
01:19:47,239 --> 01:19:49,800
happening it just does why did you just
1278
01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:52,800
do this while I was taking a
1279
01:19:53,639 --> 01:19:56,639
piss
1280
01:19:56,719 --> 01:20:00,199
smoking [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ]
1281
01:20:00,199 --> 01:20:02,040
you hey hey don't [ __ ] put all this
1282
01:20:02,040 --> 01:20:03,520
[ __ ] on me Teddy all right you could
1283
01:20:03,520 --> 01:20:05,239
have [ __ ] driven
1284
01:20:05,239 --> 01:20:07,760
away you were just sitting there the car
1285
01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:09,320
was running and you could have [ __ ]
1286
01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:11,360
driven away but you
1287
01:20:11,360 --> 01:20:14,120
didn't why ask yourself that some part
1288
01:20:14,120 --> 01:20:16,360
of you knew this was inevitable that's
1289
01:20:16,360 --> 01:20:17,960
[ __ ] [ __ ] Bill you said it didn't
1290
01:20:17,960 --> 01:20:20,600
have to be yeah you made it inevitable
1291
01:20:20,600 --> 01:20:22,560
that's such [ __ ] [ __ ] I don't
1292
01:20:22,560 --> 01:20:26,199
want to die bill I don't want to [ __ ]
1293
01:20:26,199 --> 01:20:28,440
die
1294
01:20:28,440 --> 01:20:31,880
what what you're so [ __ ] confusing
1295
01:20:31,880 --> 01:20:33,719
Teddy what the [ __ ] are you even talking
1296
01:20:33,719 --> 01:20:35,159
about I'm talking about the fact that
1297
01:20:35,159 --> 01:20:37,440
you spent every single [ __ ] second we
1298
01:20:37,440 --> 01:20:39,560
are together bemoaning your own life
1299
01:20:39,560 --> 01:20:41,480
bitching about how [ __ ] hard you have
1300
01:20:41,480 --> 01:20:45,800
it yeah but it's mine bill it's [ __ ]
1301
01:20:48,360 --> 01:20:50,600
mine I just can't believe you didn't
1302
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:52,080
realize this is where this was going I
1303
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:53,239
mean I knew this is what was going to
1304
01:20:53,239 --> 01:20:55,880
happen the second we left
1305
01:20:55,880 --> 01:20:58,679
what like when we left the [ __ ]
1306
01:20:58,679 --> 01:21:00,880
neighborhood
1307
01:21:00,880 --> 01:21:03,199
no when we left the
1308
01:21:03,199 --> 01:21:05,600
motel thought we were [ __ ] friends I
1309
01:21:05,600 --> 01:21:07,040
thought we were [ __ ]
1310
01:21:07,040 --> 01:21:09,760
talk something I thought we were [ __ ]
1311
01:21:09,760 --> 01:21:11,560
something I don't know what you want
1312
01:21:11,560 --> 01:21:13,960
from me Teddy I don't have any
1313
01:21:13,960 --> 01:21:17,480
friends you know
1314
01:21:20,320 --> 01:21:24,800
that have one more smoke
1315
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:45,480
sure does it feel like to [ __ ] kill
1316
01:21:45,480 --> 01:21:47,560
someone
1317
01:21:47,560 --> 01:21:51,000
bill to make you feel [ __ ]
1318
01:21:51,000 --> 01:21:55,000
powerful big [ __ ] man huh
1319
01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:56,120
something tells me that's not the
1320
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:58,440
[ __ ] case Bill something tells me
1321
01:21:58,440 --> 01:22:01,120
you're [ __ ] scared because you
1322
01:22:01,120 --> 01:22:02,760
[ __ ] know that there's no place for
1323
01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:05,520
you in this [ __ ] world really yeah
1324
01:22:05,520 --> 01:22:09,880
big [ __ ] talk Teddy
1325
01:22:15,239 --> 01:22:17,920
maybe
1326
01:22:17,920 --> 01:22:20,600
Teddy give me the lighter back know why
1327
01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:25,360
your [ __ ] dad walked down on you Bill
1328
01:22:27,320 --> 01:22:29,239
shut up Tedy you really want to [ __ ]
1329
01:22:29,239 --> 01:22:31,360
know shut the [ __ ] up Tedy I'm serious
1330
01:22:31,360 --> 01:22:32,520
figed out as soon as you told me your
1331
01:22:32,520 --> 01:22:34,120
little [ __ ] story Teddy I swear to
1332
01:22:34,120 --> 01:22:37,040
God if you don't shut the [ __ ] up I
1333
01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:39,080
cannot believe you didn't figure it out
1334
01:22:39,080 --> 01:22:41,440
shut the [ __ ] up follow [ __ ] shut the
1335
01:22:41,440 --> 01:22:43,760
[ __ ] up bullet trigger you coward piece
1336
01:22:43,760 --> 01:22:45,960
of
1337
01:22:45,960 --> 01:22:50,080
[ __ ] you really want to [ __ ]
1338
01:22:52,920 --> 01:22:56,440
know tell me
1339
01:22:57,360 --> 01:22:58,400
he
1340
01:22:58,400 --> 01:23:01,480
walked oh because you are [ __ ]
1341
01:23:01,480 --> 01:23:06,120
monstrous vile piece of [ __ ] dog
1342
01:23:06,120 --> 01:23:08,840
[ __ ] you think you're this [ __ ]
1343
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:10,600
genius you got all the [ __ ] answers
1344
01:23:10,600 --> 01:23:11,880
you got it all figured out you're a
1345
01:23:11,880 --> 01:23:14,400
goddamn [ __ ]
1346
01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:17,679
idiot park at the end of the street we
1347
01:23:17,679 --> 01:23:20,040
were surrounded by [ __ ] houses what
1348
01:23:20,040 --> 01:23:22,520
the [ __ ] were you thinking what the [ __ ]
1349
01:23:22,520 --> 01:23:25,400
is wrong with you
1350
01:23:25,400 --> 01:23:28,199
he walked because he couldn't [ __ ]
1351
01:23:28,199 --> 01:23:29,840
live knowing that he was your [ __ ]
1352
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:32,600
Creator here your [ __ ] life was
1353
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,520
impossible without
1354
01:23:34,520 --> 01:23:37,000
him your mom [ __ ] knew it too she
1355
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:39,000
felt the same [ __ ] way you're a
1356
01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:42,000
[ __ ] villain you're an insect you're
1357
01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:45,800
[ __ ] nothing Bill you're nothing
1358
01:23:45,800 --> 01:23:49,199
you're Speck
1359
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:57,719
very
1360
01:23:58,199 --> 01:24:01,880
good really good stuff Teddy I mean that
1361
01:24:01,880 --> 01:24:03,600
Mom stuff towards the end you almost had
1362
01:24:03,600 --> 01:24:07,120
me [ __ ] choked up over
1363
01:24:07,679 --> 01:24:11,040
here you just don't get it
1364
01:24:11,040 --> 01:24:14,440
kid the world doesn't work in Concepts
1365
01:24:14,440 --> 01:24:16,080
like that there is no good guy there is
1366
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:18,560
no bad guy there's no [ __ ] objective
1367
01:24:18,560 --> 01:24:21,199
experience you lived your life Teddy
1368
01:24:21,199 --> 01:24:23,480
focusing on being polite getting there
1369
01:24:23,480 --> 01:24:26,280
on time it's a [ __ ] waste of time I
1370
01:24:26,280 --> 01:24:28,480
prioritized different
1371
01:24:28,480 --> 01:24:31,520
things I lived a different [ __ ] life
1372
01:24:31,520 --> 01:24:33,600
I built myself up from the [ __ ]
1373
01:24:33,600 --> 01:24:37,400
ground I planned and I planned
1374
01:24:37,400 --> 01:24:40,920
well you really want to know you really
1375
01:24:40,920 --> 01:24:42,639
want to know what it feels like Petty I
1376
01:24:42,639 --> 01:24:45,679
don't think you could begin to
1377
01:24:45,679 --> 01:24:48,080
imagine because that would have required
1378
01:24:48,080 --> 01:24:50,400
you to understand what it feels like to
1379
01:24:50,400 --> 01:24:52,239
take a [ __ ]
1380
01:24:52,239 --> 01:24:55,159
risk and you're completely in capable do
1381
01:24:55,159 --> 01:24:57,119
you know there was not a single moment
1382
01:24:57,119 --> 01:24:58,679
tonight that I was worried you might say
1383
01:24:58,679 --> 01:25:00,400
something to somebody or go running off
1384
01:25:00,400 --> 01:25:01,719
do you want to know why do you want to
1385
01:25:01,719 --> 01:25:05,119
[ __ ] know why because you do what
1386
01:25:05,119 --> 01:25:09,800
you're told Teddy like a lap dog which
1387
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:11,280
is why I
1388
01:25:11,280 --> 01:25:15,040
am confident I am [ __ ] confident
1389
01:25:15,040 --> 01:25:17,199
Teddy when I tell you to give me back
1390
01:25:17,199 --> 01:25:20,000
the [ __ ]
1391
01:25:22,600 --> 01:25:26,320
lighter okay
1392
01:25:26,560 --> 01:25:30,320
what the [ __ ]
1393
01:26:23,520 --> 01:26:26,239
ah
1394
01:27:23,119 --> 01:27:27,159
for for
1395
01:28:04,840 --> 01:28:06,320
that's just about going to have to do it
1396
01:28:06,320 --> 01:28:09,440
for the night folks good morning you all
1397
01:28:09,440 --> 01:28:11,639
it's a new day full of New Bright
1398
01:28:11,639 --> 01:28:13,719
opportunities all you got to do is reach
1399
01:28:13,719 --> 01:28:16,239
out and grab them for Golden oldies I've
1400
01:28:16,239 --> 01:28:21,600
been Rick Rochester have a beautiful day
1401
01:28:49,600 --> 01:28:52,600
take
1402
01:28:55,300 --> 01:28:58,800
[Music]
1403
01:29:14,840 --> 01:29:17,840
I've
1404
01:29:25,110 --> 01:29:30,360
[Music]
1405
01:29:30,360 --> 01:29:34,360
her Goode
1406
01:29:55,960 --> 01:30:03,080
[Music]
1407
01:30:03,080 --> 01:30:06,080
take
1408
01:30:06,560 --> 01:30:10,560
goodby goodby
1409
01:30:33,400 --> 01:30:36,280
through
1410
01:30:36,280 --> 01:30:37,920
the
1411
01:30:37,920 --> 01:30:40,920
goodbye
1412
01:30:52,920 --> 01:30:56,960
every for
1413
01:31:27,060 --> 01:31:35,010
[Music]
1414
01:31:35,470 --> 01:31:36,600
[Applause]
1415
01:31:36,600 --> 01:31:38,520
only
1416
01:31:38,520 --> 01:31:41,520
memory
1417
01:31:42,119 --> 01:31:44,000
remain
1418
01:31:44,000 --> 01:31:48,800
Through the Ages I
1419
01:31:49,760 --> 01:31:51,280
remember
1420
01:31:51,280 --> 01:31:56,800
Blue Eyes Crying in
1421
01:31:57,679 --> 01:32:05,119
rain now my heart has turned to Silver i
1422
01:32:05,119 --> 01:32:06,679
w
1423
01:32:06,679 --> 01:32:11,639
all my life been in
1424
01:32:11,920 --> 01:32:15,040
vain I Will
1425
01:32:15,040 --> 01:32:18,040
Always
1426
01:32:19,040 --> 01:32:20,600
Forever
1427
01:32:20,600 --> 01:32:25,840
Blue I crying in
1428
01:32:26,840 --> 01:32:28,600
L
1429
01:32:28,600 --> 01:32:32,100
somay when we meet
1430
01:32:32,100 --> 01:32:34,280
[Music]
1431
01:32:34,280 --> 01:32:40,760
up we throw hand in hand
1432
01:32:41,719 --> 01:32:48,560
again in a land that know no
1433
01:32:50,480 --> 01:32:55,840
part I crying in
1434
01:32:56,520 --> 01:33:03,080
oh yeah blue I cry in
1435
01:33:16,639 --> 01:33:18,280
Rain
1436
01:33:18,280 --> 01:33:21,679
hi I'm John wesling and I'd just like to
1437
01:33:21,679 --> 01:33:23,159
take a moment before the curtain
1438
01:33:23,159 --> 01:33:26,560
officially calls to say thank you for
1439
01:33:26,560 --> 01:33:29,040
watching our movie you know there are a
1440
01:33:29,040 --> 01:33:31,000
million people I want to thank they say
1441
01:33:31,000 --> 01:33:32,880
it takes a village and that's true even
1442
01:33:32,880 --> 01:33:35,440
with a movie like this but I could talk
1443
01:33:35,440 --> 01:33:37,400
for hours about that right
1444
01:33:37,400 --> 01:33:41,000
now I really want to thank you for
1445
01:33:41,000 --> 01:33:43,679
watching our little picture I can only
1446
01:33:43,679 --> 01:33:46,560
hope we've entertained you and if not
1447
01:33:46,560 --> 01:33:48,960
we'll get them next time we'll be back
1448
01:33:48,960 --> 01:33:50,080
sooner than
1449
01:33:50,080 --> 01:33:52,040
later drive
1450
01:33:52,040 --> 01:33:55,400
safely and have a beautiful
1451
01:33:55,400 --> 01:33:59,600
evening good night
1452
01:34:01,640 --> 01:34:08,709
[Music]94641
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