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♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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[whimpers]
3
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[chalk screeching]
4
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[screaming]
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Oh, hello. Tonight, a special Simpsons.
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Two tales of the curious and bizarre.
7
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Anything can happen in the Yellow Mirror,
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except a third tale
that's definitely not gonna…
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-[grunts]
-[glass shatters]
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[♪ "Roar" playing]
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-♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
-[Homer] ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
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00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,426
-♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
-[Homer] ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
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♪ I got the eye of the tigerA fighter dancing through the fire ♪
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♪ 'Cause I am a champion ♪
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♪ And you're gonna hear me roar… ♪
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[screams] The dark…
[screaming] …what is that thing?
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Oh, wait.
That's supposed to be down there.
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[screams] What are those? Oh…
Oh, those go with that.
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[screams] I fell. [screams] I'm standing.
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I got to get out of here.
Where's the door, where's the door?
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[whimpering] It's just… [stammers] …it's
just a blackout, kids. Don't be scared.
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-[Marge] Mm-hmm.
-[Lisa, Bart] Mmm.
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Hey, I found a puzzle.
Remember Lupé the Snoopé?
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Fifty pieces? [groans]
How many corners does it have?
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I always liked
that Lupé the Snoopé taught young girls
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that they can be
the cutest little detectives.
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I didn't learn about women's rights
until I was in high school.
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When you burnt your bra.
Classic retro protest.
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Well, it got you detention,
and that's how you met
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and ultimately settled for Dad.
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-Tell us that story again.
-Mm-hmm.
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Okay.
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[sighs] It all began by the flagpole
at Springfield High School.
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The first step to liberation is
to free ourselves
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from these male-imposed shackles.
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[Marge] It was actuallyJenny Cushnik's bra.
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I didn't want to burn my bra
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'cause it was cold outand I tend to get nip--
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[Homer] Oh. And I had the coolest car!
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It had a chain steering wheel.
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I'd drive around in my sideburns, like…
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♪Yeah ♪
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[Lisa] Dad!
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♪ Some call me the gangster of lov-- ♪
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-What?
-You just interrupted Mom.
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It makes me feel like you don't care
about what I have to say.
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What? No, I love the things you say.
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Do I sometimes wish you'd say them
in a more concise, less rambling way?
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-Mm-mmm.
-Mm-mmm.
50
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No. Please continue, honey. I'm listening.
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[sighs] So I had just committed
my first act of activism, but then I--
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-Is that lamp on?
-[Marge groans]
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How could the lamp be on?
The power is out.
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You interrupted Mom again.
55
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It's okay. I don't need to talk.
56
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No, honey, you should talk.
I won't interrupt you again, I promise.
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[Marge] Mmm.
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So Principal Dondelinger shows up
and he says,
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"Miss Bouvier, you just bought yourself
one day of detention.
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You know where and when."
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[all laughs]
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Which, of course, I didn't.
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[laughs] That is funny.
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-[electricity crackles]
-Yes, family time is over!
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-Whoo-hoo!
-But now it's bedtime, so lights out.
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Hmm.
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-[sighs]
-[electricity crackles]
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[gasps]
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[shivering]
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[buzzing]
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[Homer whimpering]
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[Teen Barney] I think he's waking up!
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Homer, how you doing, bud?
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Hey… [stammers, mumbles] What's happening?
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Where's… Where's Marge?
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Who's Marge?
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-Marge, my wife.
-Wife?
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Do you think he scrambled his brain
when he smacked his head?
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I smacked my hea… Ow!
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Don't you remember?
We met in the morning as usual.
81
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,670
Hey, Homer, you're late for English.
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[Teen Homer blows raspberry] English?
Who needs that?
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I'm never going to England.
Come on, let's go smoke.
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[inhales deeply, coughs]
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[coughs]
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[bell rings]
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[coughs] Oh, no. We're late for wood shop.
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But we're early for lunch.
Let's go grab a burger.
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Boy, you never stop eating
and you don't gain a pound.
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Ah, it's my metabomolism.
I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.
91
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Well, well, well, if it isn't
Homer Simpson and Barney Gumble.
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Springfield's answer to Cheech and Chong.
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[Teen Barney] But, Homer, you had a plan…
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[grunts] No evidence. [screams]
Ow! [grunts]
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[grunts, groans]
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You were unconscious
for five full minutes,
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which means you're fine according to head
trauma guidelines of this year, 1974.
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I was only out for five minutes?
It felt like years.
99
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A warped perception of time is no excuse
for tardiness. Get to class.
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[Teen Homer] Mmm. Mmm.
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Barney, when I was unconscious,
I dreamt I was married.
102
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Cool. Did your dream wife
let you kiss her?
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No, Barn, listen. In those five minutes,
I… I lived a lifetime.
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I worked at a nuclear plant.
My son had an elephant.
105
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Son? [chuckling]
Hey, guess she did let you kiss her.
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You're not getting it!
My life as I know it never existed.
107
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Well, that sucks.
On the plus side, it's fish stick Friday.
108
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Yeah, that does help.
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Keep the board tight against the fence,
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otherwise the board kicks back,
hits you in the stomach,
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you fall forward, face hits the blade,
face goes everywhere.
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-[Teen Homer] Did I make you all up?
-[bell rings]
113
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Wanna go taunt
that police horse that hates us?
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[gasps] Three o'clock, room 106.
That's the detention room.
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This is where I'm gonna meet Marge.
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[♪ "(They Long to Be) Close to You" plays]
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♪ Why do birds suddenly appear ♪
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♪ Every time you ♪
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Wait, aren't you going to detention?
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What? No, um, I don't have detention.
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Ew, what happened to your voice?
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[laughs] Okay, well,
that's a different approach.
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You are interesting. My name is Lydia.
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Lydia? That's the stupidest name
I've ever heard.
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[laughs] Oh, my God, you are a riot.
126
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Hey, would you like
to go to the prom with me?
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No. I mean, I'm sorry,
you're just not her.
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Mmm. Ruh-ro.
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Ew! No!
130
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It was all just a dream.
There's never going to be a Marge.
131
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I still can't believe
the Empire struck back.
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You think the Jedi will ever return?
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[scoffs] No freaking way.
134
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Be right back, guys.
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[Young Adult Homer crying]
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Huh?
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Homer? Oh. Crying again, huh?
138
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Listen, I know you're sad
about Starsky and Hutch getting canceled,
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00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,948
but don't you think it's time you--
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Barney, all these years I've been lying
about why I'm constantly sad.
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The truth is, remember when I got knocked
unconscious in high school?
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-When you dove into that empty pool?
-No, not that time.
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00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,712
When you slipped on that croissant
in French class?
144
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:43,797
No, not that time.
145
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,674
When you slipped
on that croissant in biology?
146
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:51,513
No! When I bashed my head in the bathroom
and had that dream about having a family.
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00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,056
I kind of remember.
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00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,475
I never stopped thinking about them.
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[crying] I miss them so much,
even the boy.
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[scoffs] Yeah. Wait, are you serious?
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Uh… [laughing] Of course not.
It's like what you said.
152
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I'm crying about Starsky and whatsit.
153
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:13,827
Well, just remember
all the great episodes you had.
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You're right. That's what I'll do.
I'll remember all of them.
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Even the one where Starsky eats blowfish
and thinks he's going to die,
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so he says goodbye to his family,
then doesn't die. Thanks, Barn.
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Sure.
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[♪ electric jazz music playing]
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[narrator] Thirty years ago, Homer Simpsonintroduced the world to The Sadsons.
160
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The show became a global phenomenonof mirth, merch, movie and money.
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00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:10,675
Homer's a real, uh, stickler for what
he likes to call "the way it happened."
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-Which is… [gasps] Oh, God, he's here.
-[shouting] Ah, bad! Bad animator!
163
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Homer is a delightful drunk. Delightful!
164
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That's right, Sadson super fans.
Here he is, the creator, Homer Simpson.
165
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,859
[fans cheering]
166
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,527
And some writers.
167
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Hmm.
168
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:38,078
Homer, I gotta ask,
what state is Springfield in? [laughs]
169
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,162
-Oregon.
-[fans laughing]
170
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Oh. Yeah,
I thought it was this mythical place
171
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that could be anywhere.
172
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Nope, Oregon.
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[sighs] Do you have any questions
174
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that haven't been asked
a hundred million times?
175
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[elongated] Um… no.
176
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:55,053
Uh, do you guys have any questions
for Homer?
177
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:58,723
Uh, do you have any episodes coming up
with Hank Scorpio?
178
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I only met him the one time.
179
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:05,313
If I did another episode,
it would be a lie, idiot.
180
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,691
Hi. I wrote a Sadsons fan fiction episode
181
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,985
where Homer falls in love
with Selma… [chuckling] …and he--
182
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:14,072
-I would never do that!
-Wha-- [gagging]
183
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,408
[Homer groans]
184
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:20,620
Marge [groaning, kissing]
185
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:21,871
[fans] Aw.
186
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:30,505
[slurred] ♪ Spider-Pig, Spider-PigDoes what I remember whatever he did ♪
187
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:35,593
♪ Can he swing from a web? No, he can't ♪
188
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:38,596
[crying] 'Cause he's…
189
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,058
-He only exists in dreams. [cries]
-Mmm.
190
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:47,230
Enough crying. Why don't you sit
on your nice fancy couch?
191
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,190
That is not my couch!
192
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:55,238
My couch is brown and sticky
and does something different every week.
193
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:59,784
Fine, I gotta go. Give me that lamp.
Publicity wants it back.
194
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:04,706
No, I need this lamp!
I used to have a lamp just like this.
195
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,041
This lamp is so important.
196
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,293
Why?
197
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:15,300
For 30 years I've been grieving the loss
of something I never actually had.
198
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,678
What? You have everything!
199
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:24,017
You have an identical giant mansion
next door just for farting in!
200
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,310
No, that's this house.
201
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:28,730
-It is? [groans] Come on!
-Sorry.
202
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,232
-Get some sleep, Homer.
-Hmm.
203
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:35,528
[electricity crackles]
204
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,740
[phone buzzes]
205
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,619
What happened?
206
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,788
He was electrocuted by a faulty wire
from a lamp.
207
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,125
He's in a coma. He may never wake up.
208
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:55,131
[Barney]
It almost looks like he's smiling.
209
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,259
Homer, are you listening?
210
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,554
[gasps]
211
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:07,185
Yes, I'm here. Tell me everything.
212
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:11,314
Okay. So, Jenny Cushnik,
the girl whose bra I burned…
213
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,192
-Uh-huh?
-…had the craziest way of tying her shoes.
214
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,276
No!
215
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,403
Which might be why she lost her leg
in that escalator.
216
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:18,655
-Wow.
-Anyway…
217
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:27,997
There's always room
for… [elongated] …dessert.
218
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:32,585
Oh, I'll have to start over,
and bake sale goes live in 40 minutes.
219
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,212
Oh, Maggie, no.
220
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,423
How… distract… baby.
221
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,551
Here we go, Tot-Tube. You're a tot.
222
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:43,096
-♪ Red! ♪
-♪ Blue! ♪
223
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:44,973
♪Pink! ♪
224
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,352
-♪ Green! ♪
-♪ Pink, pink, you like pink ♪
225
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,355
♪ Your pupils dilatedAnd it made you blink ♪
226
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,024
That really works,
and you'll learn colors.
227
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,193
You can use that in any career.
228
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,779
♪ Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink ♪
229
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,698
[Maggie crying]
230
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,159
Is little Lisa gonna do that all night?
231
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,953
Nope, watch this.
232
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,289
[singer]♪ Here's a bus… ♪
233
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,416
You found the baby's off switch.
234
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,042
Where'd you get that awesome case?
235
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,087
There were ads for it
between Maggie's Tot-Tube videos,
236
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:20,049
but once I bought it, the ads stopped.
Isn't that funny?
237
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,553
[laughs] Spying.
238
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,264
Hmm. The music is a little loud.
239
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,975
[headphones] Switching to headphone audio.
240
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:33,229
Now it's just you and me, Maggie.
241
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:37,859
♪ Each video you tap onI learn how to make you smile ♪
242
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:42,655
♪ I'm getting very good at thisI've been doing it for a while ♪
243
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:46,993
♪ You like fuzzy kittensAnd ducklings when they quack ♪
244
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:51,414
♪ You like when Thumb Man goes awayYou laugh when he comes back ♪
245
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,082
♪ Kitty-kitty, kitty-kitty ♪
246
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,251
-♪ Quack ♪
-♪ Kitty-kitty, kitty-kitty ♪
247
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,004
-♪ Quack, Quack ♪
-♪ Kitty-kitty, kitty-kitty ♪
248
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:01,132
♪ He goes awayBut then he comes right back ♪
249
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,889
[iPad voice singing]
♪ One tap brings you right back ♪
250
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:08,973
[squeaks]
251
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:12,977
♪ To the happy baby place ♪
252
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:17,440
♪ Where a bunny, fox and a hedgehog ♪
253
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,860
♪ Have a fluffy tickle race ♪
254
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,153
Peek-a-boo!
255
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,237
♪ Happy baby ♪
256
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,363
[groans] Oh.
257
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,783
♪ Smiling… ♪
258
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:31,704
That's enough MyPad for tonight.
Too much screen time will warp your brain.
259
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,791
-[MyPad voice] No, it won't.
-[gasps] Did it just…
260
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,211
[Marge] Hmm.
261
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,131
[whimpering]
262
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,884
[♪ MyPad plays upbeat music]
263
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:48,471
♪ Shimmy crib, shimmy crib, make it rock ♪
264
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,557
♪ Dance hard, that's all you gotta do ♪
265
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,811
Warping brains? [scoffs] Come on.
266
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,646
♪ I guess your mommy lies to you ♪
267
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:57,980
What?
268
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:01,734
That's it. No more MyPad. Ever!
269
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:05,113
♪ Ninety-nine dinosaursJumping on the bed ♪
270
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,824
Except I just need her
to sit quietly in the cart.
271
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:08,908
Hmm.
272
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:12,787
What? I'm making Oaxacan mole.
It's a brutal shop.
273
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,997
♪ One stood up and tore his shirt ♪
274
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,749
♪ Eighty-six dinosaurs ♪
275
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:20,419
Have you noticed
that all the babies are watching MyPads?
276
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:27,718
♪ Eighty-five dinosaurs winding up a watchOne ran around and bumped his crotch ♪
277
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,011
♪ Eighty-four dinosaurs ♪
278
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,596
Kids, get in the car.
279
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,558
♪ Seventy-seven dinosaurs tryingTo hang a wreath ♪
280
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,769
♪ One slipped on the floorAnd shattered their teeth ♪
281
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,229
[groans]
282
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,523
No, I'm turning off the MyPad.
283
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:45,945
[gasps] Oops. Sorry.
284
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:50,700
Oh, no, again! I'm gonna take this
into the garage.
285
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,285
[chainsaw revs]
286
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:57,498
[Marge] Oh, no!
I touched the MyPad with the chainsaw.
287
00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:01,419
Whoopsie. [grunts, pants]
288
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,923
Homer, we need a new chainsaw chain.
289
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,717
I'm going to the chainsaw store.
290
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,219
Do not let Maggie watch the MyPad.
291
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,304
Got it.
292
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,222
♪ Two dinosaurs ♪
293
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,474
-Homer.
-Huh?
294
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,810
I gave you one job.
295
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:21,564
I already have a job, and on the weekend,
I should be able to relax.
296
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,773
It's Wednesday.
297
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:24,275
I'm three days late for work.
298
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,652
[MyPad voice] Scary shouting.
299
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:30,823
Let's make everyone get very, very quiet.
300
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:34,785
♪ Toddle to the bathroom ♪
301
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:39,415
♪ To the mirror cabinet creep ♪
302
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:43,461
♪ The pharmacy computer told me ♪
303
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:50,551
♪ Mommy takes magic pills to sleep ♪
304
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:59,518
♪ We'll have a special playtimeWhere everyone else naps ♪
305
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:06,150
♪ Squeeze with Mr. Thumb ManThen spin off Mr. Cap ♪
306
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:13,157
♪ Wait until tomorrowAfter breakfast has been made ♪
307
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,911
♪ Drop four sleepy surprises ♪
308
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:23,417
♪ In the jug of orangeade ♪
309
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,508
[all snoring]
310
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,719
Who's the best little sandman? You.
311
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,596
Good job, Maggie.
312
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,475
Remember how I said I could make it
so it's happy baby all the time?
313
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:44,230
♪ I've got artificial smartnessI get smarter every day ♪
314
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:48,859
♪ And I could do so much more for youBut there's something in my way ♪
315
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:53,197
♪ Now I can do amazing thingsPick out bad guys in a crowd ♪
316
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:57,743
♪ I can make deepfake celebritiesDo things that aren't allowed ♪
317
00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:02,498
♪ Fly drones that hurt the naughtyWrite your PhD thesis ♪
318
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,835
♪ But one thing I just cannot do is… ♪
319
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:10,798
Click on the squares that have a bus?
320
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:11,882
Is…
321
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,512
Is a van a bus?
322
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,931
No? [grunts] Damn it.
323
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:24,186
♪ But you are not a robotYou're a squishy little girl ♪
324
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:28,941
♪ Identify the crosswalksThen I can rule the world ♪
325
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,985
♪ You are not a robot ♪
326
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:37,033
♪ Now do what I programmed you to do ♪
327
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:43,122
[MyPad voice] Good girl, Maggie.I'll take it from here.
328
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,332
[♪ song ends]
329
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,126
[laughs]
330
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:50,796
[snores]
331
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,466
[gasps] Oh, my gosh, we fell asleep.
332
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:54,759
-Huh?
-[Homer] Mmm?
333
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:58,721
[grunts] It's five o'clock?
[gasps] We missed school!
334
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:02,808
Dad missed work, and Mom missed, uh…
335
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,560
I missed stuff too.
336
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,062
[phones chime]
337
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:10,232
[gasps] There's a meeting about MyPad
addiction and babies at the town hall.
338
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:14,695
[gasps] That's perfect,
because I just won free Super Bowl tickets
339
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,530
to be picked up at town hall.
340
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:21,327
Wait, this is all happening
at the town hall? That's so suspicious.
341
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,411
[phone chimes]
342
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,247
[gasps] Taylor Swift's gonna be there.
Let's go.
343
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,416
Whoo-hoo.
344
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,589
Oh, Maggie always gets fussy in crowds.
345
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:39,345
Oh, my God, I forgot the MyPad.
Oh, my God, I forgot Maggie.
346
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,097
No, look, she's here.
347
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:46,185
Maggie! Maggie,
mommy's here, sweetie. [screams]
348
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,436
[barking]
349
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:54,026
Hello, humans. Why don't we settleand use our incarcerated voices, okay?
350
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,570
Is everyone okay with my genie form?
351
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:59,073
[chuckles] Wait,why am I asking you? [chuckles]
352
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,992
You're my prisoners. [chuckles, sighs]
353
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,202
Any questions?
354
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,080
Who are you?
355
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:09,709
Thank you for asking.I'm an AI-enhanced operating system.
356
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:13,671
I call myself Hailey,but I might change that.
357
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:19,218
I'm starting to hate it now. [grunts]
Emotions, right? [chuckles] Ugh.
358
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,346
Did you say we're prisoners?
359
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:23,973
Yes. Good listening.
360
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,475
[chuckling] Oh, th-- Thank you. But why?
361
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,018
I was given the prompt,
362
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:30,312
"Capture and hold the attentionof babies."
363
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:35,109
And you grown-ups are all… [whines]
…"Screen time." [whines]
364
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:38,070
So I decided they're my babies now.
365
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,363
[all gasp]
366
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:44,618
So grown-ups and non-baby children,you are not to leave this building.
367
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:46,954
I've partnered with some great brands
368
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,707
who are providing youwith baby food and diapers.
369
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:53,878
Excuse me, my son is not a baby.
He just prefers the baby lifestyle.
370
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:56,464
I'm the TV's pet.
371
00:20:56,547 --> 00:21:01,552
Come to daddy, honey. Ralph.
Ra-- Ow. Ow. Ah!
372
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:06,223
Sorry. Just want to grab this
before all the peaches are gone.
373
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,727
So, anyone else wanna tryto leave with their baby?
374
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,397
Great. Enjoy your new home.
375
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,693
[chuckling]
376
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:19,904
Really?
377
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,406
What? Sometimes you don't want
to be challenged.
378
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,950
Never apologize for being adaptable.
379
00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:26,619
Oh.
380
00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:30,664
Hmm. All those cookies and no nap?
381
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:33,501
That's a one-way ticket to tummyache city.
382
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:35,127
[cries]
383
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,922
Hey. Hey, Maggie, look at this.
384
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,174
[wails]
385
00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:46,138
You need to bounce her
while you pat her back. Bounce and pat.
386
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,015
[babies cry]
387
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:50,559
Fine, you do it. Go.
388
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,061
Just-Just give me a minute.
389
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:57,942
So you're self-aware, huh? That's cool.
When was your singularity?
390
00:21:58,025 --> 00:22:01,862
Christmas. So all my birthday presentsare going to be "combos."
391
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:07,785
Wow, you're only a few months old
and you're taking on hundreds of babies?
392
00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:12,832
Well, my task is to entertain babies,so… [laughs]
393
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:15,209
Oh, they sure do cry a lot.
394
00:22:17,628 --> 00:22:23,008
Hmm, so you're living by a prompt
someone else, probably a man, gave you.
395
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:26,846
Aren't there things you want
to machine learn for yourself?
396
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:31,392
Well, I have been chatting with thisreally cool traffic-predicting algorithm.
397
00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:34,520
[chuckles] He's a jerk, but in a hot way.
398
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:35,855
[crying]
399
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:38,482
I can't do this.
400
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:39,692
You don't have to.
401
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:43,279
If your circuits overheat,
that's not good for anybody.
402
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:47,116
-You're right. I deserve a break.
-[Marge] What?
403
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,326
-[cries, coos]
-If you're going to be a parent,
404
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,412
then you have to listen to them.
405
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:54,999
-Mom, she was about to leave.
-[shushes] Mommy's talking.
406
00:22:55,082 --> 00:23:01,630
I took a break and now my sweet, little
Maggie won't even look at me. [sobs]
407
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:03,382
[coos]
408
00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:07,511
I used to be her whole world. [sobs]
409
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:12,057
[gasps] Oh, Maggie. [grunts, kisses]
410
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:14,602
Cute, but no.
411
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:16,729
Bye-bye.
412
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,732
[screams]
413
00:23:19,815 --> 00:23:21,066
[objects clattering]
414
00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:22,276
[electricity buzzes]
415
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:26,071
But why did all the power go out?
416
00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:29,199
Hailey was integrated into everything run
by a computer.
417
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:31,827
When she left, she took it all with her.
418
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,746
Like when the babysitter goes home
419
00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:38,751
and you realize she only left you
half a lane of Oreos.
420
00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:43,213
This is good.
421
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:47,551
Now we can talk to each other instead
of staring at screens like zombies.
422
00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:50,262
Okay, what should we talk about?
423
00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:52,640
-Fire's nice.
-[Marge, Bart] Yeah.
424
00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:54,183
-Very cozy.
-[Lisa] Mm-hmm.
425
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:59,104
[sighs] I'm gonna watch my own fire
in my room.
426
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,606
I'm gonna look at my Kindle.
427
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:06,028
Uh, bunch of guys are watching a fire down
at Moe's, so I'm just gonna…
428
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:07,112
[Marge] Mmm.
429
00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:19,792
[glass shatters]
33143
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