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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,100 ANNOUNCER: Starring tonight,,, 2 00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:33,000 Arte Johnson, 3 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,000 James Farentino, 4 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,000 Michele Lee, 5 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,000 Adam West, 6 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,100 and Jeanette Nolan, 7 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,070 For those of you who've never met me, 8 00:00:45,070 --> 00:00:46,180 you might call me 9 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,170 the under-nourished Alfred Hitchcock, 10 00:00:48,170 --> 00:00:52,210 The great British craftsman and I do share something in common: 11 00:00:52,210 --> 00:00:55,010 an interest in the oddball, 12 00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:57,130 a predilection toward the bizarre, 13 00:00:57,130 --> 00:01:00,060 And this place is nothing if it isn't bizarre, 14 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,160 by virtue of the paintings you see hanging around me, 15 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:07,180 This item here is called "Since Aunt Ada Came To stay," 16 00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:10,140 And Aunt Ada is a most memorable character, 17 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,070 You may not like her, 18 00:01:12,070 --> 00:01:14,170 but I seriously doubt if you'll ever forget her, 19 00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:16,180 Be thankful you've met her only in,,, 20 00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:17,200 The Night Gallery, 21 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,210 ( door shuts ) 22 00:01:56,090 --> 00:01:58,100 ( car starts ) 23 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,190 Teach well, sweetie, What time will you be back? 24 00:02:08,190 --> 00:02:10,110 3:30, right after the faculty meeting, 25 00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:11,220 I want to transplant those roses, 26 00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:13,170 What're you gonna do with yourself? 27 00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:14,220 Taking Aunt Ada for a ride, 28 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,070 ( sighs ) Aunt Ada, huh? 29 00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:22,070 Aunt Ada, 30 00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:24,130 Bye, 31 00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:42,060 Aha, The ever-present green carnation, 32 00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:43,070 Professor Porteus, 33 00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:44,230 I have every reason to believe 34 00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:46,210 that the earth would stand stock-still in the heavens 35 00:02:46,210 --> 00:02:49,180 were our Mr, Craig Lowell to appear on campus 36 00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:51,050 without his quotidian 37 00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:52,230 green carnation, 38 00:02:52,230 --> 00:02:55,030 Yes, Well, it's a favorite of my wife's, Professor, 39 00:02:55,030 --> 00:02:58,050 And a very potent favor it is, my boy, 40 00:02:58,050 --> 00:02:59,160 In the realm of the occult, 41 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:01,110 an area which as you may perhaps know 42 00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:04,060 occupies the major portion of my leisure hours, 43 00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:05,210 it is widely written 44 00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:08,020 that the green carnation 45 00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:09,220 when set aflame in the presence of-- 46 00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:12,000 Professor, I do have a class waiting, 47 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,220 Of course, my boy, of course, 48 00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:16,010 Do come to my rooms some evening 49 00:03:16,010 --> 00:03:17,160 when you have more time 50 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,050 and we'll have a nice, long talk about it, 51 00:03:20,050 --> 00:03:22,090 Fascinating subject, fascinating, 52 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,200 - Mm, - Have another cup, dearie, 53 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,160 Oh, Craig, Come and have some of Aunt Ada's herb tea, 54 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,190 It's really delicious, 55 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,010 H-How long have you two been in here? 56 00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:32,090 Goodness, I don't know, 57 00:04:32,090 --> 00:04:33,210 Ten, fifteen minutes, I guess, Why? 58 00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:38,050 ( screaming shrilly ) 59 00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:43,110 The roses! You know she's allergic to flowers! 60 00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:45,020 CRAIG: Oh, for the love of,,, 61 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,080 - Where's your head? - I forgot I had them, 62 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,100 Joanna, just how long is that woman gonna live with us? 63 00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:56,080 At ninety? Ninety, at least, 64 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,150 It's not unknown for people to live to be a hundred, you know? 65 00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:00,130 I don't understand why she upsets you so much, 66 00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:02,050 I don't know what it is, There's just something about her, 67 00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:03,100 Ever since she came to live with us-- 68 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:05,040 What? 69 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,190 I don't know, I just can't put my finger on it, 70 00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:10,090 Don't fret, little fox foot, 71 00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:15,090 It's not going to be much longer, 72 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,140 ( laughing ) 73 00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:45,190 Another tea party, ladies? 74 00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:47,150 ( Aunt Ada laughs ) 75 00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:49,150 Joanna, it's after midnight, 76 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:50,170 I thought you were asleep, 77 00:05:50,170 --> 00:05:51,190 That's what I thought you were, 78 00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:52,210 Oh, honey, I couldn't, 79 00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:54,090 I was tossing and turning and,,, 80 00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,170 I was afraid it was going to bother you, 81 00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:56,210 so I got up and came down, 82 00:05:58,030 --> 00:05:59,040 What's this stuff? 83 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,090 Oh, that's herbs, dearie, 84 00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:03,140 Herbs to help her sleep, 85 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,170 You have herbs for everything, 86 00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:07,210 haven't you, Aunt Ada? 87 00:06:07,210 --> 00:06:11,080 Oh, nature wakes you, 88 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,030 nature rests you, 89 00:06:14,030 --> 00:06:15,230 Nature wakes you, 90 00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:18,210 nature takes you, 91 00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:20,130 Could I give you a cup? 92 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,060 No, thanks, I sleep very well, 93 00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:26,050 How is it 94 00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:27,180 you're up so late, Aunt Ada? 95 00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:31,140 Oh, child, when one reaches an age like mine, 96 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:35,090 one sleeps only an hour or two at night, 97 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,070 CRAIG: Really? How interesting, 98 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,060 Sea weed, 99 00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:54,020 Sea weed? 100 00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:56,150 Hydrodendon Barelia, 101 00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:58,060 That's its Sunday name, 102 00:06:58,060 --> 00:07:00,230 Very common along the coast here, 103 00:07:00,230 --> 00:07:04,020 Any pharmacological uses? 104 00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,150 Inducing sleep, anything like that? 105 00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:07,060 No, nothing medicinal, 106 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:11,140 Nothing poisonous, Nothing of any-- 107 00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,230 - Oh, - What? 108 00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:15,120 Enter folklore, 109 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,050 Hydrodendon Barelia 110 00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:19,190 is the modern name for, 111 00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:21,110 and here I quote, 112 00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:24,100 "the sinister witch's weed of antiquity," 113 00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:27,150 Witch's weed? What the,,, 114 00:07:27,150 --> 00:07:30,220 Well, Frank, now, what is witch's weed? 115 00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:32,160 Beats me, 116 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,010 I'm in chemistry, not sorcery, 117 00:07:37,230 --> 00:07:41,210 Why don't you drop in on Nick Porteus? 118 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,070 I'm sure he knows, 119 00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:45,220 Nick Porteus? 120 00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:50,150 Yeah, 121 00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:55,130 Oh, my, yes, Hydrodendon Barelia, 122 00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:57,200 Yes, indeed, by all means, 123 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,190 Virulent, my boy, 124 00:07:59,190 --> 00:08:04,010 Potent, dangerous, handle with care, 125 00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:06,070 That's what you do with witch's weed, 126 00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:07,130 What I do? 127 00:08:07,130 --> 00:08:08,230 What are witches supposed to do with it? 128 00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,100 Granting their existence, of course, 129 00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,000 which I don't happen to do, 130 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,230 Very few people do, my boy, during the day, 131 00:08:15,230 --> 00:08:17,160 But the tolling of the midnight bell 132 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,140 makes believers out of many, 133 00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:23,040 Which is your subject again, Mr, Lowell? 134 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,180 - Logic and scientific method, - Of course, 135 00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:28,220 And you find it hard to fit the pentacle of Beelzebub 136 00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:32,070 into the Aristotelian square of opposition, 137 00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:35,060 In time, though, young man, in time, 138 00:08:35,060 --> 00:08:37,090 Yes, quite, In the meantime, Professor, 139 00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:39,190 this so-called "witch's weed", 140 00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:41,110 Ah, yes, 141 00:08:41,110 --> 00:08:43,230 You see, the weed is employed by the aging witch 142 00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:46,130 who has used up her present body 143 00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:49,110 to facilitate her entry into and assumption of the new 144 00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:52,160 young body that she has chosen for herself, 145 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,140 Excuse me? 146 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,140 That is how they perpetuate themselves, 147 00:08:58,140 --> 00:09:00,170 During the 12 strokes of midnight, 148 00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:04,040 at the first full moon following the autumn equinox, 149 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,010 But first, 150 00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:09,000 first, the witch's weed must have been administered 151 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,030 in gradual doses over a period of roughly 152 00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:13,140 three weeks, 153 00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:17,080 Without the preparation, entry cannot be made, 154 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,210 Professor Porteus, I'm very sorry, 155 00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:23,120 but I consider this utter nonsense, 156 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,020 - especially coming from-- - And yet, young man, 157 00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,130 since you came to this university, 158 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:28,180 I have never seen you, never once seen you, 159 00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:31,030 without the one weapon in the entire arsenal 160 00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:32,220 of anti-witches armament 161 00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:37,060 that can prevent this exchange of bodies from taking place, 162 00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:41,010 Disbelieve if you will, my friend, but also,,, 163 00:09:41,010 --> 00:09:43,020 do not forget, 164 00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:49,200 Sorry to bother you, 165 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,070 but I'm trying to discover the whereabouts 166 00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:52,220 of a relative of my wife's, 167 00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:56,050 My wife's very anxious to find out if she,,, 168 00:09:56,050 --> 00:09:57,140 still lives in this town, 169 00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:59,070 Well, she used to quite some time ago, 170 00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:02,060 but I imagine she's quite elderly by now, 171 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,120 Her name is Quigley, 172 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,090 Ada Burn Quigley, 173 00:10:05,090 --> 00:10:08,170 MAN: Quigley, There you are, sir, 174 00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:11,020 Remember the funeral myself, Six months ago, 175 00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:14,090 - You saw this woman buried? - Yes, sir, 176 00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:16,100 Who attended the ceremony? 177 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,200 It was old ladies, 178 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,130 old as the hills, they looked, 179 00:10:19,130 --> 00:10:21,230 and all kind of alike, as though it was uh,,, 180 00:10:21,230 --> 00:10:24,070 some kind of family, 181 00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:25,190 Who maintains the grave? 182 00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:28,150 Nobody slapped down no maintainin' fee, so, 183 00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:30,200 that's who maintains it, nobody, 184 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,190 Wouldn't do no good anyhow, 185 00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:37,050 I don't know what those funeral fellows shot into her, but,,, 186 00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:39,210 whatever it was, it contained enough acid to k-- 187 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,180 Well, I'll be swintered, 188 00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:45,150 What is it? 189 00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:49,010 Nothin' ever grew on that plot after they tucked her in, 190 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:52,030 Not a grass, not a dandelion, not a bud, 191 00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:54,000 nothin' but raw, gray dirt, 192 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,200 CRAIG: I think it is entirely logical I may be going mad, 193 00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,210 AUNT ADA: Oh, lovey, 194 00:11:44,210 --> 00:11:47,190 she has gone marketing, 195 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:51,090 She said she'd be back in a twinkle, 196 00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:52,210 ( Aunt Ada chuckles ) 197 00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,210 I've just been the 30 miles to Bakerton, 198 00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:59,230 AUNT ADA: Oh, and what did you see there? 199 00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:04,210 A grave, 200 00:12:04,210 --> 00:12:07,030 Great-aunt Ada Quigley's grave, 201 00:12:08,190 --> 00:12:10,230 Beautiful place, 202 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:14,140 Yes, Restful, 203 00:12:14,140 --> 00:12:17,180 - ( laughing ) - Very, 204 00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:20,060 And I have no reason to believe it is not presently occupied 205 00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,190 by the person whose name is inscribed 206 00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:23,060 on the headstone above it, 207 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:25,050 therefore, I ask you this question, madam, 208 00:12:25,050 --> 00:12:26,130 Who are you? 209 00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:29,080 Why, tsk tsk tsk, 210 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,130 You've seen my picture in the family album, 211 00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:34,140 Joanna showed it to you, 212 00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:37,140 I've seen a fuzzy snapshot taken 40 years ago 213 00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:39,120 of a middle-aged woman Joanna identifies as you, 214 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,090 and you concur in that identification, 215 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:44,130 Now, if you are in fact the great-aunt Ada Quigley 216 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,230 whose picture appears in the album, 217 00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:48,110 you are also the great-aunt Ada Quigley 218 00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:50,200 who was buried in the graveyard at Bakerton, 219 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,000 If you are not one, you are not the other, 220 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,210 And as you're standing before me this very moment, 221 00:12:55,210 --> 00:12:58,130 you are clearly not in your grave at Bakerton, 222 00:12:58,130 --> 00:13:00,020 And if you are not in your grave, 223 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:03,060 you are neither in the photograph album, 224 00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:05,110 So, I repeat, 225 00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:07,040 madam, who are you? 226 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,020 Why are you here? 227 00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:12,010 What are you after? 228 00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:13,070 ( shouting ) I will have an answer! 229 00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:15,050 ( Aunt Ada screams ) 230 00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:18,040 ( cackling ) 231 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:21,200 ( continues screaming ) 232 00:13:33,090 --> 00:13:36,100 Well, been having a nice chat while I've been gone? 233 00:14:08,210 --> 00:14:10,160 Yes, this is Craig Lowell speaking, 234 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,110 Could you connect me with Professor Porteus, please? 235 00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:31,230 ( indistinct chanting ) 236 00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:43,220 ( groans ) 237 00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:50,170 ( phone rings ) 238 00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:52,070 Professor, 239 00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:53,180 Professor! 240 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,110 - Yes? - Professor Porteus, please, 241 00:14:59,110 --> 00:15:00,180 No, this is his housekeeper, 242 00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:02,070 I think it might be a stroke, 243 00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:05,140 Please, I must get through to the hospital at once! 244 00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,190 A stroke? 245 00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:29,130 JOANNA: Darling, 246 00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,070 CRAIG: Hmm? 247 00:15:31,070 --> 00:15:34,010 You'll dig your grave if you dig any harder, 248 00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:36,200 Joanna, I wanna talk to you, 249 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,230 You don't have to, because I know what you want to say 250 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,130 and it isn't necessary any longer, 251 00:15:40,130 --> 00:15:42,070 What are you talking about? 252 00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:44,190 Aunt Ada upsets you and you want her to leave, right? 253 00:15:44,190 --> 00:15:46,220 Right, 254 00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:49,170 Well, she is leaving, She just told me, 255 00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:51,020 She told you that when? 256 00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:52,190 Is she leaving? The day after tomorrow, 257 00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:55,200 She applied to an old folks home up the coast somewhere 258 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,010 and they've accepted her, 259 00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:01,080 ( softly ) The day after tomorrow? 260 00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:13,010 Today's the 21st, 261 00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:14,130 First day of autumn, 262 00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:17,080 During the 12 strokes of midnight, 263 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:21,060 at the first full moon following the autumn equinox, 264 00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:35,050 Full moon's on the 23rd, 265 00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:36,210 Day after tomorrow, 266 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:42,160 Craig? 267 00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,040 - That hurts! - One favor, 268 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,080 Just one, 269 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,110 Anything, but, honey, please! 270 00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:51,120 From this second until midnight, 271 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,040 the last stroke of midnight, 272 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,080 - on the 23rd,,, - What? 273 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,220 never let me out of your sight, 274 00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:01,190 Craig, you're frightening me to death, 275 00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:04,230 No, I'm fighting to keep you alive, 276 00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:24,070 ( doorknob rattling ) 277 00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:30,150 So,,, 278 00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:34,080 Aunt Ada, 279 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,010 Locked doors present a problem even to you, 280 00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:40,030 Why would you try to get in? 281 00:17:40,030 --> 00:17:42,020 You knew you couldn't get past me, 282 00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:49,050 Have a nice cup of tea, my darling-- 283 00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:50,130 CRAIG: No! 284 00:17:50,130 --> 00:17:52,000 Out, Get out! 285 00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:03,160 ( chanting ) 286 00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:15,020 ( doorbell rings ) 287 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,060 - Yes? - Telegram 288 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,170 for Mr, Craig Lowell, 289 00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:28,070 That's me, Thank you, 290 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,090 What is it? 291 00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:38,080 It's from Ben Snyder, He's been called out of town, 292 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,140 Some family problem, he says, 293 00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:42,060 Wants me to take his class tonight, 294 00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:46,000 But why didn't he call me? 295 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,130 Why wait until the last minute? 296 00:18:50,090 --> 00:18:51,170 Unh-unh, 297 00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:54,130 Well, it won't work! 298 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,040 - What are you doing? - Sit down, 299 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,210 I'm ringing up the college saying I can't make it, 300 00:19:01,230 --> 00:19:03,090 But you can make it, 301 00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:04,160 We're not doing anything this evening-- 302 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,060 I am not leaving this house tonight, 303 00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:10,030 Philosophy department, please, 304 00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:11,090 Craig, it's an emergency, 305 00:19:11,090 --> 00:19:12,210 There are other people, 306 00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:14,140 Yes, I'll wait, 307 00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:15,230 Ben needs you, 308 00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:18,150 Craig, 309 00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:20,100 Ben got you your professorship here, 310 00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,130 He's one of your closest friends, 311 00:19:21,130 --> 00:19:23,180 You can't just turn him down, 312 00:19:23,180 --> 00:19:25,200 Why are you acting this way? 313 00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:29,230 All right, 314 00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:32,190 All right, 315 00:19:32,190 --> 00:19:34,040 I'm gonna try to tell you 316 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:38,030 in an orderly, logical, unemotional manner 317 00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:40,110 exactly what is going on in this house 318 00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:44,070 and why I cannot oblige my very good friend Professor Snyder 319 00:19:44,070 --> 00:19:46,160 who may be having a family problem of his own 320 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,010 but, whatever it is, 321 00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:49,120 it can only prove insignificant 322 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,220 to the family problem we're having! 323 00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,080 What are you talking about? 324 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:56,070 That woman is not your great-aunt Ada, 325 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,000 That woman,,, 326 00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:02,020 ,,,is a witch! 327 00:20:02,020 --> 00:20:04,020 And she's at least a thousand years old 328 00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:05,120 and she stays alive 329 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,040 by finding young bodies and inhabiting them, 330 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,190 And at midnight tonight, 331 00:20:09,190 --> 00:20:12,100 she's planning on inhabiting your body, 332 00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:14,060 And unless I'm around to prevent her, 333 00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:16,050 she'll probably get away with it! 334 00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:18,200 You've, Gone, Mad, 335 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,220 That is precisely the reaction I would have 336 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,160 if I'd just been told what I've told you, 337 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,070 But it happens to be the truth, 338 00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,030 They're gonna have to come take you away, 339 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,030 Well, I'm sure I've just given you 340 00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:31,230 ample grounds to have me committed, 341 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,020 and if I were in your place I'd seriously consider it, 342 00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:38,100 but until the clock out there finishes striking 12 tonight, 343 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,180 I'm not leaving your side, 344 00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:41,140 After that, 345 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,150 you could take whatever action against me you feel necessary, 346 00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:48,010 Craig,,, 347 00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:49,130 can you prove any of this? 348 00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:50,220 Only by letting it occur, 349 00:20:50,220 --> 00:20:52,170 and I have no intention of doing that, 350 00:20:52,170 --> 00:20:53,220 But you actually mean it? 351 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:55,130 I'm convinced of it, darling, 352 00:20:56,150 --> 00:20:58,060 Enough to phone the college 353 00:20:58,060 --> 00:21:00,030 and tell them you can't take Ben's class tonight 354 00:21:00,030 --> 00:21:01,180 because you have to stay home with me 355 00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:04,090 to keep my Aunt Ada from turning me into a witch, 356 00:21:06,060 --> 00:21:07,190 If I must, 357 00:21:07,190 --> 00:21:09,100 in order to show you how serious I am, 358 00:21:14,110 --> 00:21:16,080 No, 359 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,080 I don't want to have to wait for visiting hours to see you, 360 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,150 Take Ben's class tonight, 361 00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:21,030 - I am-- - I'll go with you, 362 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:22,220 You can discuss your square of opposition 363 00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:24,090 and keep an eye on me at the same time, 364 00:21:24,090 --> 00:21:26,060 Now, is there anything wrong with that? 365 00:21:32,070 --> 00:21:33,180 That would never have occurred to me, 366 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,160 Of course not, 367 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,060 It's much too simple 368 00:21:43,060 --> 00:21:45,060 for that logical mind of yours, 369 00:21:48,010 --> 00:21:49,120 All right? 370 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,140 ,,,in subalternation obtaining 371 00:21:51,140 --> 00:21:54,030 between a universal and a particular affirmative, 372 00:21:55,140 --> 00:21:57,010 Now we come to an examination 373 00:21:57,010 --> 00:21:58,210 of the Aristotelian square of opposition, 374 00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:22,010 Let "A" represent 375 00:22:22,010 --> 00:22:24,080 the universal affirmative, 376 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,130 and "E" the universal negative here at the top, 377 00:22:27,130 --> 00:22:29,100 Now, down at the bottom, 378 00:22:29,100 --> 00:22:32,090 the letter "I" represents the particular affirmative, 379 00:22:32,090 --> 00:22:34,160 "O", the particular negative, 380 00:22:37,070 --> 00:22:40,020 In subalternation obtaining between a universal 381 00:22:40,020 --> 00:22:42,000 and a particular affirmative, 382 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,160 or between a universal and a particular negative 383 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,110 where the difference is one of quantity only, 384 00:22:47,110 --> 00:22:50,170 ( eerie noises pulsate ) 385 00:22:52,150 --> 00:22:55,070 ( thunder crashing ) 386 00:22:55,070 --> 00:22:57,150 ,,,omni propitious, 387 00:22:57,150 --> 00:23:00,060 you will hear our wishes, 388 00:23:00,060 --> 00:23:03,090 chief of the East-lies above trust, 389 00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,230 come to this body soon, 390 00:23:05,230 --> 00:23:08,070 powder and rust, 391 00:23:08,070 --> 00:23:10,090 CRAIG: ,,and as with life itself,,, 392 00:23:10,090 --> 00:23:11,220 ( Aunt Ada chanting ) 393 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,120 ,,, come to this body soon, 394 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:20,010 powder and rust, 395 00:23:20,010 --> 00:23:23,230 That body of youth, that body of lust, 396 00:23:23,230 --> 00:23:28,030 that body of bodies to live in I must,,, 397 00:23:28,030 --> 00:23:30,060 inhabit,,, 398 00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:31,210 at midnight! 399 00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:34,120 To live in I must,,, ( echoing ) 400 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,110 inhabit,,, ( echoing ) 401 00:23:36,110 --> 00:23:39,070 at midnight! 402 00:23:39,070 --> 00:23:42,040 Prepare,,, 403 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,150 If bestowed the spirits 404 00:23:45,150 --> 00:23:46,220 CRAIG: Contradictory,,, 405 00:23:46,220 --> 00:23:49,100 ( Aunt Ada continues chanting ) 406 00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:51,210 The spirits! 407 00:23:51,210 --> 00:23:53,180 Fire, water and air! 408 00:23:53,180 --> 00:23:55,140 CRAIG: ,,,square of opposition,,, 409 00:23:55,140 --> 00:23:57,180 ( thunder crashing ) 410 00:23:57,180 --> 00:24:02,090 ,,, again represented by the letters A, E, I and O, 411 00:24:02,090 --> 00:24:03,200 respectively, 412 00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:06,180 And before going any further, 413 00:24:06,180 --> 00:24:08,230 let us establish that these are arbitrary designations 414 00:24:08,230 --> 00:24:10,230 except for the fact that they've been around a lot longer 415 00:24:10,230 --> 00:24:12,150 than any of us here, 416 00:24:12,150 --> 00:24:14,010 They might well be called 417 00:24:14,010 --> 00:24:16,140 "A", "B", "C" and "D", 418 00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:18,050 ( thunder crashes ) 419 00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:37,060 ( starts car ) 420 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,190 CRAIG: ,,,test their validity, 421 00:24:40,190 --> 00:24:43,180 For this purpose, we will take the proposition,,, 422 00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:45,160 "All republics are ungrateful," 423 00:25:19,220 --> 00:25:22,070 Now, we accept the proposition that all re-- 424 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,040 ( car honks horn) 425 00:25:45,180 --> 00:25:47,080 Aunt Ada, 426 00:25:48,190 --> 00:25:51,220 Right here, lovey, 427 00:25:51,220 --> 00:25:54,130 I've been waiting for you, 428 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,060 Here's the last little mouthful, 429 00:25:59,060 --> 00:26:02,090 That's all that's needed now, 430 00:26:03,150 --> 00:26:05,000 Hmm? 431 00:26:07,010 --> 00:26:10,180 Just the littlest sip will do the trick, 432 00:26:10,180 --> 00:26:13,180 And then you'll be mine, my blessed, 433 00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:15,200 when the midnight tolls, 434 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:18,180 Come on, 435 00:26:19,220 --> 00:26:21,220 Come on, 436 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:39,070 Don't fight it, little cuddly, 437 00:26:39,070 --> 00:26:42,180 Soon it'll be the gentle wind 438 00:26:42,180 --> 00:26:45,110 in a cool sea, 439 00:26:45,110 --> 00:26:49,080 the soft white cloud forever, 440 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,220 - Oh, Craig, - Oh,,, 441 00:26:51,220 --> 00:26:54,230 don't clutter your head with him, little rumples, 442 00:26:54,230 --> 00:26:57,090 we won't be needing him anymore, 443 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,090 Joanna! 444 00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:55,000 Joanna! 445 00:28:01,210 --> 00:28:03,190 Joanna, 446 00:28:23,030 --> 00:28:26,090 You're too late, silky wizard, 447 00:28:26,090 --> 00:28:28,030 She's mine now, 448 00:28:28,030 --> 00:28:30,010 You're not getting past me, 449 00:28:30,010 --> 00:28:32,170 Oh, ho, ho, ho! Wait! 450 00:28:35,060 --> 00:28:37,060 ( eerie pulsations ) 451 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,010 ( shrieking ) 452 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,120 No! 453 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,130 Disbelieve in your will, my friend, 454 00:28:56,130 --> 00:28:58,130 But also do not forget, 455 00:28:58,130 --> 00:29:00,030 the only weapon 456 00:29:00,030 --> 00:29:02,080 in the entire arsenal of anti-witching armament, 457 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,070 only the green carnation when set aflame 458 00:29:05,070 --> 00:29:07,040 in the presence of,,, 459 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,090 ( thunder crashing ) 460 00:29:20,090 --> 00:29:22,200 ( clock chiming ) 461 00:29:30,190 --> 00:29:32,180 ( shrill laughter ) 462 00:29:35,110 --> 00:29:39,220 ( chanting ) 463 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,060 ( screams ) 464 00:29:44,060 --> 00:29:47,230 ( continues chanting ) 465 00:29:47,230 --> 00:29:50,020 ( screaming ) 466 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,080 Joanna? 467 00:30:21,090 --> 00:30:24,030 My love, my darling, 468 00:30:25,180 --> 00:30:26,220 Oh, 469 00:30:31,210 --> 00:30:34,110 Teach well, sweetie, 470 00:30:34,110 --> 00:30:35,160 See you at three o'clock, 471 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,000 - OK, - Bye-bye, 472 00:32:00,070 --> 00:32:02,030 - ( gagging ) - ( glass shattering ) 473 00:32:34,060 --> 00:32:35,230 ( growling ) 474 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,220 M-Master, 475 00:32:54,220 --> 00:32:56,160 what do you think, Master? 476 00:33:06,130 --> 00:33:08,100 If I told you once 477 00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:11,080 I've told you a hundred times, 478 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,120 go easy on the vermouth! 479 00:33:17,130 --> 00:33:20,090 We refer to him by different names, 480 00:33:20,090 --> 00:33:23,180 Lucifer, Mephistopheles, Beelzebub, 481 00:33:23,180 --> 00:33:27,160 But by any other name, he'd smell of brimstone, 482 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,190 These, the ingredients to a one-man stew: 483 00:33:30,190 --> 00:33:33,020 A disc jockey, a radio show, 484 00:33:33,020 --> 00:33:36,110 and a painting we call "The Flip-Side of Satan," 485 00:34:31,190 --> 00:34:33,180 Who's better than J,J,? 486 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,080 When J,J, makes the scene,,, 487 00:34:54,220 --> 00:34:56,070 ( sighs ) 488 00:34:59,050 --> 00:35:01,150 ,,,can the good sounds be far behind? 489 00:35:29,180 --> 00:35:32,060 Main switch three minutes before air time, 490 00:35:32,060 --> 00:35:34,070 Programming planned, 491 00:35:34,070 --> 00:35:36,200 Absolutely no variations, 492 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,140 J,J, Wilson programmed, 493 00:35:46,220 --> 00:35:48,100 ( glass clinking ) 494 00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:02,210 ( eerie pulsations ) 495 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,080 Five thousand watts, 496 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,060 On a clear day, you can hear across the street, 497 00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:03,160 ( humming ) 498 00:37:17,140 --> 00:37:19,210 Who's better than J,J,? 499 00:37:21,090 --> 00:37:25,120 ( music playing ) 500 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:29,160 ♪ 501 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,180 ♪ J,J, Wilson ♪ 502 00:37:33,010 --> 00:37:35,020 ♪ J,J, Wilson ♪ 503 00:37:36,070 --> 00:37:38,100 ♪ J,J, Wilson ♪ 504 00:37:39,190 --> 00:37:42,030 ♪ J,J, Wilson ♪ 505 00:37:43,090 --> 00:37:45,190 ♪ J,J, Wilson ♪ 506 00:37:52,210 --> 00:37:56,060 And that's me, alive and well on KAPH 507 00:37:56,060 --> 00:37:58,200 or, as the owl said to the pussycat, 508 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,060 Hoo! Hoo! 509 00:38:01,060 --> 00:38:03,190 ( mechanical laughter ) 510 00:38:03,190 --> 00:38:05,140 ( chuckles ) If that's any indication 511 00:38:05,140 --> 00:38:07,010 of what my show is like,,, 512 00:38:07,010 --> 00:38:09,180 ( groans ) 513 00:38:09,180 --> 00:38:11,080 ( laughing ) 514 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,110 ,,,just putting you on, because over the next six hours 515 00:38:13,110 --> 00:38:15,110 you're gonna hear the sounds of now, 516 00:38:15,110 --> 00:38:17,140 sounds to blow your mind ad do your thing by, 517 00:38:17,140 --> 00:38:18,170 Sounds like,,, 518 00:38:22,210 --> 00:38:25,130 ,,,only J,J, can play, 519 00:38:25,130 --> 00:38:27,070 Your kind of music, I know, 520 00:38:27,070 --> 00:38:28,190 From midnight to dawn, 521 00:38:28,190 --> 00:38:30,010 I picked it out, 522 00:38:30,010 --> 00:38:34,000 ♪ ( pipe organ ) ♪ 523 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,110 ( decreases volume ) 524 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,140 ( dialing phone ) 525 00:38:57,070 --> 00:38:58,230 ( increases volume ) 526 00:39:03,130 --> 00:39:04,180 Sid? 527 00:39:04,180 --> 00:39:06,080 J,J, 528 00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,160 You happen to have the right time on you? 529 00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,040 Comin' west, I had to set my watch back 200 years, 530 00:39:12,220 --> 00:39:15,020 Me, complain? Ha ha ha, 531 00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:16,120 Let me tell you something, Sid, 532 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,120 Complainers are the old maids of the world, 533 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:19,210 They know what they want, 534 00:39:19,210 --> 00:39:21,090 but they don't know how to get it, 535 00:39:21,090 --> 00:39:23,120 Besides, what's there to complain about? 536 00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:26,130 You've ever seen station KAPH? 537 00:39:26,130 --> 00:39:30,050 Let me tell you, Sidney, it's somethin' else, 538 00:39:30,050 --> 00:39:31,200 Uh, modern, Yeah, 539 00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,220 Well, yeah, I guess you could say that, but,,, 540 00:39:34,220 --> 00:39:37,050 I think nostalgic would be more fitting, 541 00:39:37,050 --> 00:39:40,020 What I mean is, to Ben Franklin it might be modern, but,,, 542 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,200 Oh, come on, Sidney, Isn't that what I'm sayin'? 543 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,170 It's all relative, 544 00:39:45,170 --> 00:39:48,020 Besides, nostalgia's in, 545 00:39:48,020 --> 00:39:49,100 Hey, take a listen to this music, 546 00:39:50,220 --> 00:39:53,170 ♪ ( pipe organ ) ♪ 547 00:39:53,170 --> 00:39:55,070 ( lowers volume ) 548 00:39:55,070 --> 00:39:57,160 Heavy, uh? That's just to grab 'em, 549 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,100 You wait till the word gets around town 550 00:39:59,100 --> 00:40:01,090 that J,J,'s doin' his thing, 551 00:40:01,090 --> 00:40:04,160 The other jocks will be fighting for seats on the next stage out, 552 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:05,190 Dinner? 553 00:40:05,190 --> 00:40:07,080 ( laughs ) 554 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,010 Who said agents aren't very bright? 555 00:40:10,010 --> 00:40:12,180 Sid, what kind of one tube station 556 00:40:12,180 --> 00:40:15,150 only broadcasts from midnight to six in the morning? 557 00:40:15,150 --> 00:40:18,040 The Voice of Insomnia? 558 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,160 What are you trying to do to me, Sid? 559 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:20,210 Ruin my career? 560 00:40:23,170 --> 00:40:26,010 I'll tell you what career, 561 00:40:26,010 --> 00:40:28,030 The-the career that's put your amorphous frame 562 00:40:28,030 --> 00:40:30,050 behind the wheel of a new car every year, 563 00:40:30,050 --> 00:40:32,100 That helped to build that house on the island, 564 00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:34,080 a-and kept Emily from going bananas 565 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,080 much sooner than she did, That's what c-- 566 00:40:39,030 --> 00:40:41,150 W--W-What are you-- what are you,,, 567 00:40:41,150 --> 00:40:44,080 Oh, now I get it, 568 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:45,220 It took a while, Sid, 569 00:40:45,220 --> 00:40:48,020 for that light bulb over my head to turn on, but,,, 570 00:40:49,230 --> 00:40:52,160 You thought Emily and me were havin'-- 571 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,120 Mm-hmm, Good, 572 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:55,170 And that's why you arranged 573 00:40:55,170 --> 00:40:57,030 this gig for me in Lower Slobovia, 574 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,090 Sid, I'm surprised at you, 575 00:41:01,090 --> 00:41:02,190 Emily was your wife, 576 00:41:02,190 --> 00:41:05,090 I always considered myself your best friend, 577 00:41:05,090 --> 00:41:09,100 Those weekends I went away, it was fishing with Bert Fox, 578 00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:11,030 If Emily happened to be away at the same time 579 00:41:11,030 --> 00:41:12,120 it was just a coincidence, 580 00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,000 You check with Bert if you want, 581 00:41:16,010 --> 00:41:17,190 Sid, 582 00:41:17,190 --> 00:41:19,230 let's not plant weeds on Emily's grave, 583 00:41:19,230 --> 00:41:21,180 She loved you very much, 584 00:41:21,180 --> 00:41:24,080 You could see it in her face when she looked at you, 585 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:26,070 And believe me, Sid, no matter what anyone says, 586 00:41:26,070 --> 00:41:27,130 it was an accident, 587 00:41:27,130 --> 00:41:30,050 Emily had too much to live for, 588 00:41:30,050 --> 00:41:31,230 Well, you--you know what I mean, 589 00:41:34,180 --> 00:41:38,110 Sid, uh, let me get in touch with you later and,,, 590 00:41:38,110 --> 00:41:40,020 look, I'm, I'm,,, 591 00:41:40,020 --> 00:41:43,130 I'm sorry about those things I said, 592 00:41:43,130 --> 00:41:45,200 That's right, Said, Who's better than us? 593 00:41:52,090 --> 00:41:55,120 ( increases volume ) 594 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,170 ( music ends ) 595 00:41:57,170 --> 00:41:59,050 Well, if that doesn't blow your mind, 596 00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:00,120 then I'm beginning to wonder 597 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,200 what fills up that space between my ears, 598 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,100 Or, the pilot said before 599 00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:06,150 takin' off this afternoon from Fun City, 600 00:42:06,150 --> 00:42:10,010 "J,J, I'm gonna be flying at 30,000 feet, 601 00:42:10,010 --> 00:42:13,130 You fly any higher than that, and you're on your own," 602 00:42:13,130 --> 00:42:15,220 ( mechanical laughter ) 603 00:42:18,100 --> 00:42:22,200 And wait till you hear what's comin' to you next on KAPH, 604 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,180 The J,J, Wilson Show, 605 00:42:30,220 --> 00:42:33,160 No, you groovy cats out there, 606 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,010 you tell me, 607 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:40,080 ( eerie sounds playing ) 608 00:42:45,030 --> 00:42:47,120 And I thought we were way out in Gotham city, 609 00:43:03,050 --> 00:43:05,050 ( decreases volume ) 610 00:43:09,210 --> 00:43:12,090 Bert? J,J, 611 00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:15,170 Uh, look, I-I-I hope I didn't wake you, 612 00:43:15,170 --> 00:43:17,140 Yeah, yeah, I figured you'd just be getting in, 613 00:43:19,100 --> 00:43:20,090 By yourself? 614 00:43:23,130 --> 00:43:26,230 ( chuckles ) You're too much, Bert, 615 00:43:26,230 --> 00:43:28,150 Listen, I-I won't keep you long, 616 00:43:28,150 --> 00:43:30,150 I got a little favor to ask, 617 00:43:30,150 --> 00:43:32,160 Well, to tell you the truth, I-I, I didn't want my friends 618 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,160 to know I was leaving because I didn't want them to go 619 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,210 to the trouble of having a party for me, 620 00:43:36,210 --> 00:43:40,090 I figured, once I got settled here, 621 00:43:40,090 --> 00:43:43,100 No, it had nothin' to do with the money I owe you, 622 00:43:43,100 --> 00:43:44,210 The name of J,J, Wilson is written 623 00:43:44,210 --> 00:43:46,080 on every one of those markers, 624 00:43:50,130 --> 00:43:51,200 What's it like here? 625 00:43:53,150 --> 00:43:56,000 It's a whole, different way of life, Bert, 626 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:57,090 People are friendly, 627 00:43:57,090 --> 00:43:59,070 They can't do enough for you, 628 00:43:59,070 --> 00:44:01,120 Like you take when my plane landed this afternoon, 629 00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:02,230 Are you ready for this? 630 00:44:02,230 --> 00:44:05,090 A member of the Chamber of Commerce 631 00:44:05,090 --> 00:44:09,060 was waiting to meet me at the airport with a limo, 632 00:44:11,130 --> 00:44:13,190 My car? I gave it to my kid nephew, 633 00:44:15,050 --> 00:44:17,120 What's so funny? 634 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:20,140 Yeah, Bert, I had a mother like everyone else, 635 00:44:24,130 --> 00:44:26,220 ( eerie sounds continue ) 636 00:44:31,150 --> 00:44:35,090 Uh, uh, um, about that favor, 637 00:44:35,090 --> 00:44:36,130 I talked to Sidney, 638 00:44:36,130 --> 00:44:38,030 and somehow he got the idea 639 00:44:38,030 --> 00:44:40,180 that Emily and I were seeing each other before-- 640 00:44:40,180 --> 00:44:42,090 well, you know, before she tried making 641 00:44:42,090 --> 00:44:44,070 a Greek tragedy out of her suburban life, 642 00:44:46,140 --> 00:44:47,220 You didn't tell him anything, did you? 643 00:44:49,130 --> 00:44:51,230 No, of course I trust you, 644 00:44:51,230 --> 00:44:54,150 Yeah, but just in case he gets in touch, 645 00:44:54,150 --> 00:44:57,080 Uh, remember about the weekends fishing? 646 00:45:00,070 --> 00:45:01,160 That's right, 647 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,110 Just you and me, 648 00:45:03,110 --> 00:45:04,220 And a bunch of smelly trout, 649 00:45:06,220 --> 00:45:09,080 Who said I was afraid of him? 650 00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,020 I just don't like hurting people, Bert, 651 00:45:11,020 --> 00:45:12,210 You know that, 652 00:45:12,210 --> 00:45:15,110 Besides, Sidney's been like a father to me, 653 00:45:15,110 --> 00:45:17,120 I like to think I kept Emily from doin' 654 00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,150 what she was destined to do much sooner, 655 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,120 That's right, Bert, 656 00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,030 Who's better than J,J? 657 00:45:33,050 --> 00:45:36,190 ( rock music playing ) 658 00:45:37,230 --> 00:45:40,060 ( music distorts ) 659 00:45:46,100 --> 00:45:48,160 ( weird electronic music ) 660 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:56,000 MAN'S VOICE: I conjure thee, 661 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,070 Spirits of darkness, 662 00:45:58,070 --> 00:45:59,190 I summon thee 663 00:45:59,190 --> 00:46:02,010 from the regions of hell, 664 00:46:02,010 --> 00:46:03,150 Lucifer, 665 00:46:03,150 --> 00:46:06,140 Ouyar, Chameron, 666 00:46:06,140 --> 00:46:09,220 Aliseon, Mandousin, 667 00:46:09,220 --> 00:46:13,100 Premy, Basago, 668 00:46:13,100 --> 00:46:16,060 Gamagan, Marbus,,, 669 00:46:16,060 --> 00:46:18,140 These hayseeds have some sense of humor, 670 00:46:18,140 --> 00:46:24,110 ,,,Morax, Oriet, Naydrus, Esmony,,, 671 00:46:24,110 --> 00:46:27,200 They even got somebody to imitate my voice, 672 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:33,130 ,,,Hayras, Fabelleronthon, Sodrino, 673 00:46:33,130 --> 00:46:36,150 Lucifer, come unto me, 674 00:46:38,020 --> 00:46:40,020 Wow, heavy, heavy, 675 00:46:40,020 --> 00:46:42,060 Hey, let me clue you in on what's happenin', 676 00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:44,030 There's an old custom amongst boss jocks 677 00:46:44,030 --> 00:46:45,160 that when a new DJ joins a station, 678 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:48,200 the other DJs try to put one over on him, dig? 679 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:51,040 It's their way of making him feel at home, 680 00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,040 Well, let me tell you somethin', 681 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:54,210 You succeeded, 682 00:46:54,210 --> 00:46:57,180 You know, I just finished a 15-year gig 683 00:46:57,180 --> 00:47:00,080 in the Big Apple itself-- New York City, 684 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,200 I mean, I was top jock, No one could touch me, 685 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,190 But I left it all to come here, Why? 686 00:47:05,190 --> 00:47:08,190 To be reborn on KAPH 687 00:47:08,190 --> 00:47:11,130 and to meet people like you, 688 00:47:11,130 --> 00:47:13,110 Hey, groove on this, 689 00:47:13,110 --> 00:47:15,140 Who's better than J,J? 690 00:47:15,140 --> 00:47:16,190 His listeners! 691 00:47:16,190 --> 00:47:19,180 Now, dig J,J, sounds, 692 00:47:19,180 --> 00:47:22,060 The latest from The Karmas, 693 00:47:22,060 --> 00:47:23,210 "Good vibes," 694 00:47:26,050 --> 00:47:28,020 Oh, Lucifer, 695 00:47:28,020 --> 00:47:30,040 the condemned has entered into the crucible 696 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:33,130 from which there is no escape, 697 00:47:33,130 --> 00:47:38,030 Himon, Deur, Fusian,,, 698 00:47:38,030 --> 00:47:40,050 A joke is a joke is a joke, 699 00:47:40,050 --> 00:47:44,100 ,,,Sitri, Beluth, Lyrogee,,, 700 00:47:44,100 --> 00:47:45,230 All right, fellow DJs, 701 00:47:45,230 --> 00:47:48,080 You can come in with the champagne now, 702 00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:52,030 ,,,Eligor, Sipor, Eeops,,, 703 00:47:52,030 --> 00:47:53,220 Surprise! 704 00:48:01,140 --> 00:48:03,050 Hey, what's goin' on here? 705 00:48:03,050 --> 00:48:04,210 Who do you hayseeds think you're dealing with? 706 00:48:04,210 --> 00:48:06,200 O monarch of all demons, 707 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:09,190 the condemned has moved closer to your arms, 708 00:48:09,190 --> 00:48:10,220 What "condemned"? 709 00:48:10,220 --> 00:48:12,220 Closer to the final embrace, 710 00:48:12,220 --> 00:48:15,050 That's some joke, I-I really dig it, 711 00:48:15,050 --> 00:48:16,150 Very funny, 712 00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,190 Operator? 713 00:48:23,190 --> 00:48:25,170 What do you mean I dialed a disconnected number? 714 00:48:25,170 --> 00:48:27,050 I dialed the operator! 715 00:48:31,190 --> 00:48:34,030 How can the operator be a recording? 716 00:48:34,030 --> 00:48:38,050 The Prince of Darkness will receive the condemned, 717 00:48:38,050 --> 00:48:39,220 So much for the Prince of Darkness, 718 00:48:43,010 --> 00:48:44,180 I-I don't know what the scene is like out there, 719 00:48:44,180 --> 00:48:46,080 but it's wild in here, 720 00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:47,190 That's why I want you to listen real close, 721 00:48:47,190 --> 00:48:49,220 ( shrill pulsation ) 722 00:48:54,070 --> 00:48:55,230 All have been summoned 723 00:48:55,230 --> 00:48:58,050 to witness the sacrifice of the condemned, 724 00:49:00,150 --> 00:49:04,140 September 4, 1959 to September 4, 1959, 725 00:49:04,140 --> 00:49:07,230 May 5, 1968 to May 5, 1968, 726 00:49:07,230 --> 00:49:11,110 October 3, 1970 to October 3, 1970, 727 00:49:11,110 --> 00:49:13,130 The condemned will humble himself 728 00:49:13,130 --> 00:49:16,000 before the altar of sacrifice, 729 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,200 I will never humble myself! 730 00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:22,150 The arms of Lucifer prepare to embrace the condemned, 731 00:49:22,150 --> 00:49:24,150 The arms of Lucifer?! 732 00:49:24,150 --> 00:49:26,170 I fought the jungles in New York City 733 00:49:26,170 --> 00:49:28,090 and I won! 734 00:49:28,090 --> 00:49:31,120 The sacrifice must be carried out now! 735 00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:35,100 Because I am J,J, Wilson, 736 00:49:35,100 --> 00:49:37,220 and who is better than J-- 737 00:49:37,220 --> 00:49:39,190 ( electrical crackling ) 53857