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1
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,640
Up and down,
up and down
2
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,575
up and down,
up and down.
3
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:16,016
Daddy, I'm ready.
4
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:24,090
‐ Thank you very much.
‐ Just doing my job.
5
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,635
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
6
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:38,471
♪ Aah ♪
7
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:45,478
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability? ♪
8
00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,447
♪ The milkman
the paper boy ♪
9
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,315
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
10
00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:50,817
♪ When did I get
to livin' here? ♪
11
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,253
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
12
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:58,759
♪ This old world's
confusin' me ♪
13
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:02,395
♪ Clouds as mean
as you ever seen ♪
14
00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:05,799
♪ Ain't a bird
that knows your tune ♪
15
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:11,171
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
16
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:15,141
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
17
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:20,113
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
18
00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:22,215
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
19
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:24,651
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
20
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,521
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
21
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:32,358
♪ There's a face
of somebody who needs you ♪
22
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:35,495
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
23
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,430
♪ When you're lost
out there ♪
24
00:01:37,463 --> 00:01:39,432
♪ And you're all alone ♪
25
00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:41,301
♪ A light is waiting ♪
26
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:44,470
♪ To carry you home ♪
27
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,472
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
28
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:50,511
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
29
00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,548
♪ Do‐be‐do‐ba‐ba‐da ♪
30
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,505
Up you go.
I'm waiting.
31
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,677
Hey, Michelle.
How are you doing?
32
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,646
This Yo‐Yo is broken.
33
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:28,815
Well, I have something
better for you.
34
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,784
Since I opened
a savings account
35
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,754
I want you to have
my old piggy bank.
36
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,756
Thank you very much.
37
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,794
Hey, where's the money?
38
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,763
Well, you have to
earn it yourself.
39
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,731
You could check
the couch cushions
40
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,933
or find someone
who's a soft touch
41
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,535
look real cute
42
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,805
and say, "please
feed my piggy."
43
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,774
Please feed my piggy.
44
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,679
Boy, you picked
that one up real fast.
45
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,814
Here's a quarter.
46
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,552
Ooh, I like that sound.
47
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,808
Bishop to King's Knight four.
48
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,578
Check.
49
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,784
King me.
50
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,352
‐ Hello.
‐ Hi, Steph.
51
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,822
Hey, Stephanie.
How was school today?
52
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:44,625
Oh, just another day
in third grade.
53
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,459
Here's a silly note
from my teacher.
54
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:48,895
You don't have to read it.
Just sign it.
55
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,832
You don't mind
if I just skim it, do you?
56
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:54,434
Steph, it says here that
you're having trouble reading
57
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,637
a‐and you need to have
your eyes examined.
58
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,905
Isn't that silly? He he.
59
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,642
Well, if it's so silly
let's see you read that note.
60
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,310
Okay. "Dear Mr. Tanner
61
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,880
"lately Stephanie
has been holding her paper
62
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,882
very close to her face."
63
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,717
See, no problem.
64
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,753
You're getting
your eyes checked.
65
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,955
But what if they tell me
I need glasses?
66
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,690
I'm gonna look like a geek.
67
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,425
Sweetheart, you are not
gonna look like a geek.
68
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,627
But if you don't
take care of this now
69
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,796
your eyesight could get worse.
70
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,731
All those years
eating carrots.
71
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,568
What a waste.
72
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:32,372
Please feed
my piggy.
73
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:37,711
Oh‐h, I have some pennies
for your piggy to snack on.
74
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:39,580
He's very hungry.
75
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,347
You got any quarters?
76
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,552
Go talk to your dad.
77
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,320
I got quarters. Here ya go.
78
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:48,622
Here's a quarter.
79
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,390
Here's 50 cents.
80
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,659
Here's 75 cents.
81
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,828
Okay, Jess, now this
is the last decision
82
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,697
we have to make for the wedding.
83
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,866
Should the waiters at
the reception wear white gloves?
84
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,504
Who's paying again?
85
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,438
‐ My parents.
‐ Go for the white gloves.
86
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,942
Alright. That's it.
No more decisions.
87
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,512
We've made every teeny,
tiny, minuscule
88
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:12,913
trivial decision
about this wedding.
89
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,648
It's over. Hallelujah.
90
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:18,451
Well, honey, there
is one teeny, tiny
91
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,353
minuscule,
trivial decision
92
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:23,023
you've been putting off
since we got engaged.
93
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,826
Who's going to be
your best man, Danny or Joey?
94
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,894
Oh, I know I've been
avoiding this.
95
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,596
Alright, I'll tell you what,
as soon as we're all together
96
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,497
I'll pick the best man
and that'll be it.
97
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:34,400
Great. Danny, Joey,
get in here.
98
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:35,836
Are you crazy,
embarrassing me like this.
99
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,903
I don't know which one
I'm gonna pick‐‐
100
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:39,105
‐ Hi, boys.
‐ Hey.
101
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,807
What's going on?
102
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,876
Well, uh, now that
we're all together
103
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:43,910
there's something
very important
104
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,679
I want to talk about.
105
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,048
We're going with
the white gloves.
106
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,753
Hey, we're very happy
for the both of you.
107
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,621
Well, actually, we've planned
out the whole wedding
108
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,923
except for
one little detail.
109
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:03,063
Uh...I have to pick
a best man.
110
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,870
This, I‐I can't do this. I don't
want to hurt anybody's feelings.
111
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,437
Oh, Jess, it's no big deal.
112
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:12,939
Nobody's feelings
are gonna be hurt.
113
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:15,809
That's right. Whatever you
guys decide, it's fine with us.
114
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,545
We're mature adults.
115
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,814
Alright.
116
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:21,982
I pick Joey.
117
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,685
Yes, I get to be
the best man. Yes.
118
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,054
If that's what you want,
it's cool with me.
119
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,893
Congratulations, Joey.
120
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:41,768
Danny, uh, I'd like you
to be my...head usher.
121
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,005
Oh, hey,
that's, that's terrific.
122
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,474
Well, if for any reason,
Joey is unable
123
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,777
to perform his duties
as best man
124
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,780
or he does anything to bring
disgrace to his position
125
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,149
the head usher steps up
and assumes the crown.
126
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,718
Ah, see?
127
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,587
Well, if needed, I'm,
I'm ready to serve.
128
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,023
Yeah, well, thanks for
taking this so good.
129
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:05,559
Hey, I could still win
the swimsuit competition.
130
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:14,635
♪ Hang down your head
Tom Dooley ♪
131
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,870
♪ Hang down
your head and cry ♪
132
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:22,075
♪ Hang down your head
Tom Dooley ♪
133
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,845
♪ Poor boy
you're bound to ♪
134
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,713
♪ Die.. ♪
135
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,551
Danny.
136
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,686
This, uh, happy little
hanging tune
137
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,120
wouldn't have anything
to do with me picking Joey
138
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,856
as my best man, would it?
139
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,058
Jess, not at all.
140
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:40,827
W‐when you think about
best man or head usher
141
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,729
there's not really
much of a difference.
142
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,865
The best man gets to stand
next to the groom
143
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,900
give him the ring,
make the toast.
144
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,002
Basically be the star
of the wedding.
145
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:51,037
And the head usher,
he gets to say
146
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,839
"I'm sorry, those seats
are for the family."
147
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,611
Are you trying to make me feel
bad? 'Cause its working.
148
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,045
I would never do that to you.
149
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:02,282
♪ Swing low
sweet chariot ♪
150
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,150
I'm sorry. Those seats
are for the family.
151
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,920
♪ Coming for
to carry me home ♪
152
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:07,954
♪ Swing low.. ♪
153
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,223
Dad, you've got
to help us.
154
00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:12,258
‐ What's goin' on?
‐ It's my cousin, Steve.
155
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,027
He's in town for
the big science fair.
156
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,629
And he won't
quit bugging us.
157
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,230
Julie and I are trying
to write an article
158
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,832
for the school paper
159
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:21,134
but her cousin is kind of a..
160
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,936
What's the word
I'm lookin' for?
161
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:24,971
Pain in the butt?
162
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,573
That'll work.
163
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,313
That's him.
164
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,181
Dad, you never saw us.
165
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,751
And if he asks where we are,
we were never here
166
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,085
and we're never
coming back.
167
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,054
Got it.
168
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,659
How annoying
could one kid be?
169
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,060
Honey, I'm home.
170
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,972
S‐Steve Urkel
at your service.
171
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,578
Hi, Steve.
172
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:07,080
Listen, Steve, uh, DJ
and Julie were never here
173
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,815
and they're
never coming back.
174
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,151
Never? Oh, that's okay.
I'll wait.
175
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,988
Say, do you have
a spare accordion?
176
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,223
We can jam.
177
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,726
No, my accordion
is in the shop.
178
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,162
How you doing?
I'm, I'm Danny Tanner, DJ's dad.
179
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,263
That's Jesse Katsopolis,
my brother‐in‐law.
180
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,332
‐ Hi.
‐ Joey's not here.
181
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,802
He's, uh,
Jesse's best man.
182
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,072
I'm just the head usher.
183
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,975
Well, geez, Danny,
you sound a little bitter.
184
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,811
May I suggest that you just suck
it up and get on with your life.
185
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,881
Kid's got a point.
186
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,383
Boy, am I hungry.
Got any cheese?
187
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,118
Uh, you can't
go in there
188
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,854
because, um,
we're out of cheese.
189
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:50,023
Oh, no problemo,
I'll just pour a glass of milk
190
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,092
and wait for it to curdle.
191
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,294
Uh, Steve, Steve,
Steevo.
192
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,997
Steve, I‐I can't
help noticing
193
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,164
that you, uh, walk like
the you still have
194
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,733
the hanger in your shirt.
195
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,268
‐ Oh, why, thank you.
‐ You're welcome.
196
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,870
Steve, I'd like
to help you
197
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:08,241
because, uh, quite frankly,
you need help.
198
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,744
See, when you're walking, you
got, you gotta be loose, man.
199
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,913
You gotta kinda just
let it be cool, you see.
200
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,314
That's it. Loosen up.
201
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,282
Be very fluid.
202
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,383
Flu‐fluidity is the key.
203
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,119
That's the move.
That's it, now.
204
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:23,023
Once you get it going, you shift
the weight and go, you see.
205
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,291
And it's a strut, and it's cool.
206
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:28,028
And it's a strut, and it's cool.
Like that. See?
207
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,930
‐ Very inspiring.
‐ Alright.
208
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,407
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
209
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,210
That's, that's close.
210
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,079
Yeah, well.
211
00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:48,014
Well, that was
a walk on the wild side.
212
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,818
But now let's try it
with your elbows out.
213
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,787
You'll find it's much
better for circulation.
214
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,988
‐ Like this?
‐ Yeah.
215
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,222
Alright, I'll try it.
216
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,458
‐ Yeah, you're doing fine.
‐ Okay.
217
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,726
Hey, you know, I do feel
the blood flowing‐‐
218
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,861
Yeah.
219
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,896
What am I doing?
220
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,331
Well, here's another fun way
to kill time.
221
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:08,101
Let's share our life stories.
I'll go first.
222
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:11,204
I was born on a cold
Chicago night, 1976
223
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,206
the year of America's
bicentennial.
224
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,008
My mom was in
a great deal of pain
225
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,309
and I was charging through‐‐
226
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,411
I think I hear
the girls coming home.
227
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:20,781
Right in the kitchen.
There you go.
228
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,115
Anyhow, good day, gentlemen.
229
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,984
Okay.
230
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,351
'Oh, ladies.'
231
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,723
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey.
232
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:31,257
Guess who got some new glasses?
233
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,426
Guess who never
wants to wear them?
234
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:36,062
Oh, come on,
I'll bet they look great.
235
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:38,264
I look like
a total dweeb.
236
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,734
Oh, come on.
Hey, look at this.
237
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,836
I wear
reading glasses.
238
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,806
And yeah, there. Do I look
like a total dweeb?
239
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,241
Not totally.
240
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,045
Honey, put them on.
Let us see 'em.
241
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:54,047
Okay.
242
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,484
There. You saw them.
243
00:11:58,519 --> 00:12:00,120
You know, for a second there
244
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,354
I thought you actually
looked sharp.
245
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,956
Yeah, you look
very sophisticated.
246
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,057
That's what
I've been telling you since
247
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,859
we left the eye doctor, Steph.
248
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,194
Thanks, but I know
you're just being nice
249
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,063
because you're my family.
250
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,136
Do I look like a dweeb?
251
00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:19,973
‐ No.
‐ No.
252
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,509
You're just being nice
'cause you're my family.
253
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,912
Hi, Comet.
254
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,280
You'll be honest.
255
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,249
What do you think
of my new glasses?
256
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,491
I knew it.
257
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,861
I'm the biggest geek
in third grade.
258
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,787
‐ I think we lost him.
‐ Lost who?
259
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:11,525
Just some pesky kid that keeps
following us around.
260
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,094
You know, some people just don't
know when they're not wanted.
261
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,531
Hi, DJ.
262
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,232
Hi, Julie.
263
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:21,935
Hi, kid I don't know.
264
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,837
Steve, this is
my sister Michelle.
265
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:26,072
Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you, Michelle.
266
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:28,509
Why do you talk
like a Mickey Mouse?
267
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:32,579
That's because
I'm from Chicago.
268
00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:34,447
Want to feed my piggy?
269
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,517
Well, sure.
270
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:38,585
Here's a bright,
shiny penny.
271
00:13:38,619 --> 00:13:41,254
Michelle, did you know that
with prevailing interest rates
272
00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:43,189
that penny will be worth
almost three cents
273
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,258
at the turn of the century?
274
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:46,527
Yes, I did.
275
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:52,298
Steve, this is
my other sister Stephanie.
276
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,000
Hi, Stephanie.
277
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,869
Nice to meet you, Steve.
278
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:57,437
I don't mean to be rude
279
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:01,007
but I really don't feel
like company right now.
280
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,543
Is everything okay, Steph?
281
00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:04,611
I just feel
like being alone.
282
00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,146
Come on, girls.
283
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,981
The little lady
wants some privacy.
284
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,551
So let's make like
Tom and Cruise. Heh heh.
285
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:17,558
So tell me, why
so melancholic, baby?
286
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:20,594
I can't tell you my problems.
I don't even know you.
287
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:26,166
Oh. Well, I was born in Chicago
on a cold winter night in 1976.
288
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,668
My mom was in
a great deal of pain
289
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:28,935
and I was chargin' through‐‐
290
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,604
Okay. Okay.
291
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,305
I'll talk.
292
00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:35,041
I just got
my first pair of glasses.
293
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,143
Oh, well,
welcome to the club.
294
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,945
You know, some people
look far more attractive
295
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,480
with glasses
than without.
296
00:14:40,514 --> 00:14:41,882
Take me, for example.
297
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:45,619
As good as
I look now..
298
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,891
See how studlier
I become.
299
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,098
Truly amazing.
300
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,601
But if I wear these
to school..
301
00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:04,605
...all the kids
are going to tease me.
302
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:07,273
Oh, sure,
in a class of 30
303
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,576
you may have 15 or 20
misguided souls
304
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,978
that may say
"hey, four eyes,"
305
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:16,082
or "yo, coke bottles"
or "que pasa, window face?"
306
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,451
But that won't
bother you, will it?
307
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,420
Window face?
308
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,988
The trick is to make them laugh
309
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,057
with you before
they laugh at you.
310
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,292
And always remember,
hold your head up high.
311
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,494
Otherwise, those suckers
will slide right off your nose.
312
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,303
‐ Hi, buddy.
‐ Hey.
313
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,272
What do you say,
you and I spend a little more
314
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,474
quality time together, huh?
315
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:44,645
Let's go out and
clean some grout, shall we?
316
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:46,346
Jess, I know you're
just being nice to me
317
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,082
because you didn't
make me you're best man.
318
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,383
You're right.
319
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,686
I don't even know
what grout is.
320
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,287
Listen, this thing has been
bugging me all night
321
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,690
and I‐I think I made
the wrong choice.
322
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:58,224
Joseph!
323
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,360
Wait a minute, Jess,
what are you doing?
324
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,595
I'll take care
of this right now.
325
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,496
Hey, what's up, Jess?
326
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,733
Joey, I'm sorry but I think
I may have made a mistake
327
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:08,569
when I picked you
for best man.
328
00:16:08,602 --> 00:16:12,739
Look, if I did anything to
disgrace my position, I'm sorry.
329
00:16:12,773 --> 00:16:15,742
Just please don't
make me head usher.
330
00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:18,178
Ah, let me finish.
Let me finish.
331
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,546
What I mean to say is,
I don't think
332
00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:22,048
I should have just
picked just you.
333
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:25,418
I'm gonna have two best friends,
so I pick both of you.
334
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,353
You can't have
two best mans.
335
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,589
Yeah, you're
breaking tradition
336
00:16:28,622 --> 00:16:30,757
and it's bad grammar.
337
00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:33,259
A‐ah, since when do
I care about tradition?
338
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,695
You're looking at a guy
who didn't wear that
339
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:36,496
cardboard hat
at his graduation
340
00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:38,164
because I was afraid
it would ruin my coif.
341
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:43,069
Hey, look, the two
best men thing is okay with me
342
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,638
if it's okay with Danny.
343
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,207
Anything's better
than being head usher.
344
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,744
Aw, thank you, my boys,
my boys, alright.
345
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,617
Okay, class, take out
your library books
346
00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:58,752
for silent reading time.
347
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,092
Stephanie?
348
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,294
Yes, Miss Claire?
349
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,663
Your dad called me
this morning.
350
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,065
He told me he got
you new reading glasses.
351
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:14,334
Yeah, I have them
right here.
352
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,437
Since we're reading, maybe it'd
be a good time to try them on.
353
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,240
Maybe it would.
354
00:17:24,545 --> 00:17:27,347
Hey, Steph, you got glasses?
Let's see.
355
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,751
The trick is to make
them laugh with you
356
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:33,086
before they laugh
at you.
357
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,760
Let's see
your new glasses.
358
00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:41,327
Here they are.
359
00:17:43,764 --> 00:17:46,633
My glasses fit great
but my eyeballs are loose.
360
00:17:49,603 --> 00:17:51,638
I'm just kidding.
361
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:55,141
Those weren't
my real glasses.
362
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,310
These are.
363
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,281
Oh, no. My head shrunk.
364
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,716
A‐ah!
365
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,786
Stephanie, could I please
see you at my desk?
366
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:09,222
‐ Ooh.
‐ Ooh.
367
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,592
Now, you kids
behave yourselves.
368
00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:14,260
I've got eyes in
the back of my head.
369
00:18:15,796 --> 00:18:16,797
Stephanie.
370
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,538
Alright, a nickel.
371
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:30,711
Alright, a cheeto.
372
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:38,184
Ice cream man.
Ice cream man. Ice cream man.
373
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,389
Wait for me.
I got money.
374
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,296
Give me back
my money, you pig.
375
00:18:55,736 --> 00:18:57,437
Michelle, what's wrong?
376
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,340
I need ice cream.
Rip its head off.
377
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,208
Michelle, get a grip.
378
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,744
The whole point of a piggy bank
379
00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:06,279
is to save your money
for something very important.
380
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,749
Ice cream
is very important.
381
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,722
Sorry, Michelle.
The ice cream man is gone.
382
00:19:15,756 --> 00:19:18,559
He's really gone?
383
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,831
Put the lip away.
384
00:19:24,865 --> 00:19:26,933
It just so happens that
there are a box of fudgesicles
385
00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:29,335
hidden in the back
of the freezer.
386
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,638
But it's not the same.
387
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,641
Hey, did I just hear
the ice cream man?
388
00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:36,276
You just missed him,
but follow me.
389
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,845
There are fudgesicles
in the freezer.
390
00:19:38,879 --> 00:19:41,281
But it's not the same.
391
00:19:48,889 --> 00:19:50,323
Hey, Steph,
what are you working on?
392
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,526
Oh, just
some homework.
393
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,895
Ohh.
394
00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:56,462
"I will not disrupt
the class.
395
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,732
I will not disrupt
the class."
396
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:01,434
Did you by any chance
disrupt the class today?
397
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:04,905
Yeah, I snuck
into your joke bag
398
00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:07,641
and borrowed all
your funny glasses.
399
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,776
The teacher put
them in her desk.
400
00:20:09,810 --> 00:20:11,645
But you can have them back
at the end of the year.
401
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:16,683
Steph, that's not like you
to act up in class.
402
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:19,285
I know, but I had
to make them laugh with me
403
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,955
before they could
laugh at me.
404
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,958
Oh, I get it.
The class clown routine.
405
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:27,861
Yeah, I did that once.
Except I was the chubby kid.
406
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:31,932
They used to call me walrus.
So I would go..
407
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,338
Yeah, kids can be
pretty cruel sometimes.
408
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,640
What did they say
to you?
409
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:40,807
Well, this one kid said
410
00:20:40,841 --> 00:20:43,243
"You got glasses?
Let me see."
411
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,647
That was it?
412
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,749
Well, he said it
pretty loud.
413
00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:53,720
So then none of the kids
actually teased you?
414
00:20:53,754 --> 00:20:55,622
No, but they would have.
415
00:20:55,656 --> 00:20:58,525
Well, Steph, anybody who
would tease you is a jerk.
416
00:20:58,559 --> 00:21:00,393
Because with or without
your glasses
417
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,630
you're the most
beautiful third grader I know.
418
00:21:03,664 --> 00:21:05,331
And I want you to take
a look at yourself
419
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,300
in the mirror
with those glasses on.
420
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,503
And you'll see that
you look just fine.
421
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:10,837
I already have.
422
00:21:10,871 --> 00:21:13,039
Trust me, it was
not a pretty sight.
423
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:17,477
Well, that's because you saw
what you're afraid of
424
00:21:17,511 --> 00:21:19,813
rather than
what was really there.
425
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:23,750
Now get over to that mirror,
and tell me what you really see.
426
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:26,052
‐ Okay.
‐ Come on.
427
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,360
Now, what do you see?
428
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:41,334
Hey...it's me.
429
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:43,036
No, it's the new,
improved you.
430
00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:45,506
Because now you can read.
431
00:21:45,539 --> 00:21:47,774
Thanks, Joey.
I feel better.
432
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:51,812
You know, I think
you look pretty mature.
433
00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:53,446
‐ Really?
‐ Uh‐hmm.
434
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,015
Do you think I could pass
for a fourth grader?
435
00:21:55,048 --> 00:21:57,383
Well, why don't you put the stem
of your glasses in your mouth
436
00:21:57,417 --> 00:22:01,387
and think upper
elementary school.
437
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:02,589
O‐oh, that right there
438
00:22:02,623 --> 00:22:04,357
that's fifth grade, yeah.
439
00:22:06,392 --> 00:22:09,462
Oh, hot, oh, look at that.
High‐fashion model.
440
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,665
‐ You're driving.
‐ What kind of car?
441
00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:13,800
Let's go all the way...Porsche.
442
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:14,935
Yeah.
443
00:22:14,968 --> 00:22:16,436
Alright, there you go, kiddo.
444
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:20,874
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
445
00:22:40,627 --> 00:22:42,696
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
446
00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:46,499
♪ Do‐be‐do‐ba‐ba‐da ♪
32314
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