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1
00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:03,133
-Previously on wynonna earp:
-A kid is missing.
2
00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:05,657
-I'm retiring.
-To sheriff Nicole haught!
3
00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:07,616
-[Exclamations]
-Charlie.
4
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,531
This you flirting?
5
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,751
-My baby daddy is married
to a vampire.
-I don't like you at all.
6
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,666
-Are you sure?
-Stop pretending...
7
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:17,147
That this isn't
what you came here for.
8
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:20,150
[Michelle]:
He was kind, honest.
His name was Julian.
9
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:23,066
-My dad was an angel.
-You were born out of love.
10
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:26,548
-We can find Julian if you want.
-What's in it for me?
11
00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:29,812
[Growling]
12
00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:39,039
Okay, this is the last time
we're doing this.
13
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:42,085
Since we both have
such stressful jobs
and everything,
14
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:44,087
we could keep doing this
to take the edge off.
15
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,132
No.
16
00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:48,439
I'm all edge, Charlie.
If you can't handle that...
17
00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:56,360
You may handle me
however you please.
18
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:01,539
Good morning, guys.
I'm deputy Nicole haught
and I am here...
19
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,628
-Shitty-shit-shit!
-Whoa, whoa.
20
00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:05,369
I thought
that was going pretty good.
21
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:08,111
-How's purgatory's finest
this morning?
-Here we go.
22
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,374
Thank you, sincerely,
for all that you do.
23
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:12,202
I know it's not an easy job.
24
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:14,639
Nedley calls us hose jockeys.
25
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:18,556
Uh, sheriff nedley's
sense of humour
leaves a lot to be desired.
26
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,777
And rest assured,
when I am sheriff,
27
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:24,562
you will be both respected
and supported.
28
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,522
I will also pre-order
a dozen of your calendars.
29
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,264
I'm April this year.
30
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,397
Happy easter to me.
31
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,225
I had no idea officer haught
was your sister's girlfriend.
That's so weird.
32
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:37,488
You're not one of those
"Adam and Eve,
33
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:39,403
not Adam and Steve" people,
are you?
34
00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:42,232
God, no. Purgatory pride's
my favourite event of the year.
35
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:44,278
[Chuckling]
Purgatory has a pride?
36
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:47,150
Yeah. We painted
the fire-engine rainbow.
37
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:50,849
Nicole warned me about you.
38
00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:53,461
-That I'm super flexible?
-No, that you're a hot mess.
39
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:56,507
Well, it's better
than a cold... tidy.
40
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:02,296
This was fun.
41
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:04,776
Thanks for the, uh...
42
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:07,866
-Pump?
-That's gross.
43
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:10,782
-Backdraft?
-Did we do that?
44
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,219
Heat?
45
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,136
-[Siren blaring]
-Ah... nah.
46
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:19,748
Was that me?
47
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,758
Nothing to see here.
48
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:33,457
Just an adult woman
with adult-woman needs
leaving... a fire hall.
49
00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:37,548
-Let me guess: You need a ride.
-I had a ride. I need a nap.
50
00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:39,202
And a... ride.
51
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,813
So you and doc,
not a thing anymore?
52
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,511
We were never a thing.
53
00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,643
And I haven't seen him
for a week.
54
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,477
[Sizzling]
55
00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:57,829
Burns like a mother!
56
00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,919
[Grunting]
Oh...
57
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,714
What have I done?
58
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:15,717
Bulshar's ring
is rejecting you,
59
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,198
now that you're compromised.
60
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,505
Don't worry, my love.
61
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:25,205
Now we're linked together
forever.
62
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,858
Just like you wanted.
63
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,731
[Grunting]
64
00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:33,387
Just like I wanted.
65
00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:37,565
[Theme music]
66
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:42,657
♪ 'Cause I gave you
all I got to give ♪
67
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,528
♪ I know that ain't no way
to live ♪
68
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:48,967
♪ I told that devil
to take you back ♪
69
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:54,669
♪ I told that devil
to take you back ♪♪
70
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,455
♪ drink up brothers
drink up ♪
71
00:03:58,499 --> 00:04:00,718
♪ all you sexy mothers
72
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,285
♪ otpsi
73
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,069
what's with
the children's choir?
74
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:06,898
It's a bunch
of omicron tau psis
slumming it from the big city.
75
00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:09,249
We confiscated their party bus
this morning.
76
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:12,252
-Who party-buses at 10 A.M.?
-The deeply committed.
77
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,734
Ah... drink up, friends.
Drink up, brothers.
78
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:20,347
Drink up, all you sexy...
Mothers.
79
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:23,306
-Maybe later.
-Mm. Sorry, I...
80
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,829
I dozed off.
81
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:26,744
-What's all this?
-Since closing down
the abattoir,
82
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:29,747
thereby rescuing
my tall-n'-jazzy,
maybe-kinda boyfriend,
83
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:32,533
I've been trying to figure out
where bulshar could've moved
his operation.
84
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:33,925
Nice!
85
00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:36,406
Also, when was the last time
you went home?
86
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,842
Or ate?
87
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:40,454
Oh, that depends.
What day is it?
88
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:42,282
We're gonna need to get you
a falafel.
89
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,893
-[Grunting]
-Push with your legs!
-Shut up with your mouth.
90
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,895
Am I finally gonna see
your sex cave?
91
00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:49,637
It's more of a closet.
92
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,466
Retired nedley is kinky.
93
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:56,296
Everything in there
I seized from crime scenes
that didn't feel kosher.
94
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,906
Ones with supernatural element.
95
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,777
Why didn't you turn
them over to dolls?
96
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:03,390
Well, initially,
I wasn't sure I could
trust him. Now I know.
97
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,657
Whoa.
[Laughing]
98
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:13,530
How long have you been
hiding this stuff?
99
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,663
Since I became sheriff.
100
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,882
Oh... we're gonna find
dinosaur bones.
101
00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,449
Ha-ha.
102
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,669
It's up to you two to decide
what to keep, what to burn.
103
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:25,499
Huh. It's like hoarders meets
storage wars.
And I, for one, am here for it.
104
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,371
How you making out
with getting city council's
stamp of approval?
105
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,330
Well, bunny loblaw
won't return my calls.
106
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:31,896
That stuck-up Tuesday's
still around?
107
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:36,336
Yep. And reigning
over city council
with an iron fistula.
108
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:39,339
Bunny loblaw's the real
king-maker here in purgatory.
109
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,906
And she won't return your calls
because she's a bully.
110
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,865
Bullies smell fear,
they just get more vicious.
111
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:46,563
-Yeah, dummy,
everyone knows that.
-Ow...!
112
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,522
You get her on your own turf,
you look her dead in the eye
113
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:51,089
and you tell her that you're
the only person for the job.
114
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:54,049
You're right.
I am going to call her
115
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:56,660
and I'm gonna set up
a meeting.
116
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:59,402
Bunny's gonna eat her
for lunch.
117
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:01,970
-Nedley, are you looking
at my ass?
-No.
118
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:07,845
Mm. This'll have to do.
119
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,369
[Gun cocking]
120
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,634
You shouldn't sneak around
121
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:16,637
when there's a gun-toting
mental patient on the loose.
122
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:20,380
-Well, I thought
we were friends.
-[Michelle chuckling]
123
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:23,383
You bailed right in the middle
of my Christmas feast.
124
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,083
You find my Brussels sprouts
offensive?
125
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:34,002
I do apologize, ma'am, but...
Something came up.
126
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,133
Oh.
127
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,012
You're gonna make it up to me.
128
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,668
I fear this is
about to get weird.
129
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:50,888
Don't worry.
I'll drive if you're tired.
130
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,456
I do not understand.
131
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,110
I need to get out of here.
132
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,068
Just for a little while.
133
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:59,984
-Cabin fever.
-You don't know the half of it.
134
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:02,073
Oh, I just might.
135
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,816
Okay... let's go,
136
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,557
before I roll you for the keys.
137
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,646
[Chuckling]
138
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:13,433
-[Grunting]
-What do you think about this?
139
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,959
-Urn. Nice.
-Okay.
140
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:21,092
But is it supernatural?
141
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:22,485
Supernaturally oogly.
142
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,095
Can you check this out? I...
143
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,749
I found nedley's
old police memo.
144
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:29,100
"November 9, 1996.
Raccoon stuck in drop ceiling."
145
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:33,017
[Laughing]
"Call cleared,
but now require rabies shot."
146
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:36,064
Wynonna, can you, like,
a little help here, please?
147
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:40,764
-Oh, my god, never...
-Holy shit! Baby nedley.
148
00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:42,940
When you're done
with story time,
can you do some actual work?
149
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:44,899
Nicole,
you're a smart-ish girl.
150
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,553
Surely you've figured out by now
that this whole
151
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,946
"cleaning out the secret locker"
job is bullshit.
152
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,166
Nedley made it up to make us
practice working together.
153
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:53,473
-He parent trapped us.
-None of this stuff matters.
154
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:56,476
And it sure as hell
isn't gonna help us
with our bulshar problem.
155
00:07:56,519 --> 00:08:00,131
Alright, well, you might
be fine to sit on your ass
and do nothing, but I'm not.
156
00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,482
Especially after what he did
to dolls.
157
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,791
-You want my help?
-Yes.
-Fine, Nicole.
158
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:10,141
-Thank you.
-No problem.
159
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:11,099
[Sighing]
160
00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:12,492
-Crap.
-[Clatter]
161
00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:14,581
Crap.
162
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:18,628
Definitely crap. Not crap.
163
00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,978
-More crap!
-Wynonna, you're being reckless!
164
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,545
-Super crap.
-Whoa!
165
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,982
You know what, deputy dipshit,
that's kinda my brand,
166
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,549
and it's been working fine
so far.
167
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,856
God, I am so sick
of your attitude!
168
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:36,080
Smooth move, ginger spice.
You just earned yourself
seven years' bad luck.
169
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,653
[Thunderous explosion]
170
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:47,178
[Echoing rumble]
171
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:49,529
[Grunting]
172
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,761
-Hey, Tayla,
you seen doc around lately?
-No.
173
00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:07,242
I'll have a whiskey.
Leave the bottle.
174
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:11,899
Whatcha got there, sheriff?
175
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,684
Ginger ale.
And it's just Randy now.
176
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:17,252
Didn't peg you
for a teetotaller, just Randy.
177
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:20,690
Well, I'm still on duty.
178
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:23,606
Those drunken frat boys
from the big city
got me running my ass off.
179
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,783
One of the many, many jobs
I won't miss when I retire.
180
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:29,177
Well, I won't tell
if you won't.
181
00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:32,223
Oh.
182
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,227
Look what I found for your
retirement party slideshow.
183
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:37,838
[Chuckling]
184
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,583
It's like your top lip
is wearing a skinny tie.
185
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,325
How's it going
in the evidence locker?
186
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:48,370
Ugh.
187
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,939
Nicole smashed some stuff.
Big surprise.
188
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:54,768
Must hard to move around
with a giant pickle up your ass.
189
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:58,946
-Give her some slack, wynonna.
-You know me. I love slack.
190
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,339
That chick is all work
and no play.
Next thing you know,
191
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:05,822
she's gonna be chopping
people up with an axe
like... that dude in the hotel.
192
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,607
Dave at the motor inn?
193
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,306
-Him, too.
-Well, go easy on Nicole.
194
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:16,398
You two have more in common
than you think.
195
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,148
Well, it's worth a shot.
196
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:29,890
I guess. Okay.
197
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,199
Hi! Bunny.
198
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:36,853
Uh, come on in.
199
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,116
-I did.
-Can I take your c-coat?
200
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,815
Why? So you can rifle
through the pockets?
201
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:46,689
Oh! What on god's flat earth
is that?
202
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,649
Oh, that's just calamity Jane.
Please don't worry.
She's super friendly.
203
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:52,782
I-I don't care what it is.
Either she goes or I go.
204
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,132
I am deathly allergic!
205
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,656
Right. Okay.
206
00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,963
Okay. Come on, girlie.
207
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,878
Calamity, you're getting fat.
208
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:06,100
-[Meowing]
-Okay, just make yourself cozy.
One sec. I'll be right back.
209
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,331
Disgusting.
210
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,167
I am sorry, ma'am.
211
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:32,692
Willa would've been very sorry
about Willa.
212
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,302
That was always
her first thought.
213
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:36,696
Willa was ward's... pet.
214
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,916
God, she was... spoiled
and she had a mean streak.
215
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,092
She'd have been a terrible heir.
216
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,053
She was just a child.
217
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,882
Yeah, she was my baby.
218
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:51,188
I'm so sorry I wasn't there
to protect you.
219
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,846
-Hey, where you going now?
-Come on.
220
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,718
I'll tell you which way to turn.
221
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,024
Ms. Gibson. Michelle!
It's freezing out here.
222
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,418
Oh, stop being a wiener.
Come on.
223
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:04,941
Besides, I know you got
a bottle of Tequila
224
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:07,770
stashed under your seat,
and that's gonna get us through.
225
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:11,774
So I have some great ideas
on how to make the town safer
226
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,733
and the department
run more efficiently.
227
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,865
Well, that's all well and good,
deputy haught,
228
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:18,215
but my main concern is this.
229
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:20,783
Randy nedley is full of shit.
230
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,046
-Excuse me?
-I am so sick and tired
231
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:27,355
of being kept in the dark about
all the strange occurrences
in purgatory.
232
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:32,316
I won't be lied to
about what's really going on
in my town, under my nose.
233
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,103
-Which is what exactly?
-Well, you tell me.
234
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:39,367
That's why I'm here.
Unless you don't want
to be sheriff.
235
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:40,934
And don't give me that hooey
236
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:45,982
about costume parties gone awry
or zoo animals escaping.
237
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:51,248
Well, bunny, um, purgatory,
it's a very unique... town
238
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,903
with... unique challenges.
239
00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:57,167
Sorry to interrupt.
Just need to talk to deputy
tater haught for a sec.
240
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,039
Wynonna, this is really
not a good time.
241
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,823
Actually, it's perfect timing.
242
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:04,827
Because I'm thinking
of backing wynonna for sheriff.
243
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:07,438
[Laughter]
You can't be serious.
244
00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,832
I'm dead serious.
245
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:12,443
Wynonna,
you are a straight-shooter.
246
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:15,142
-You're one tough bitch.
-Hey-o.
247
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:18,798
And the earps are one of
purgatory's original families.
248
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,103
This one...
249
00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:22,932
-This one?
-Sorry, what about "this one"?
250
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:26,327
What purgatory needs
is a homegrown hero,
251
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:29,547
not some fly-by-night outsider,
252
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:32,812
who, let's face it,
is a little too...
253
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,292
...different.
254
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:40,341
-Can I just... real quick,
for a sec?
-One sec. We'll just...
255
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,299
...in the kitchen.
256
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:46,129
Wait until bunny finds out
about purgatory pride.
257
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:48,131
-What are you doing here?!
-Right!
258
00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:51,352
-Uh, it's about nedley
and you...
-And me...
259
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:55,312
[Laughing]
Did buns buns
really just say I could be...?
260
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:57,140
Oh, no,
you cannot take that job.
261
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,056
-I don't want that job.
-Yeah,
'cause you would be a disaster.
262
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,493
-No shit, not sheriff.
-You have no police training,
263
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:06,323
you're terrible with authority,
you're not even qualified
to run a chipotle!
264
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:08,499
Guac-a-cuse me? You know what?
265
00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:12,025
Maybe I'd like to be
sheriff nedley 2 point uh-oh
266
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:14,331
I'm your boss after all.
267
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:17,421
Well, excuse me,
but you can't even do
one single assignment properly
268
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:20,076
without breaking a gazillion
rules and a creepy-ass mirror
in the process!
269
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,471
Oh, oh, oh, help! Isis!
270
00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:29,564
What rules?! Purgatory
is the goddamn thunderdome
and I'm Tina friggin' Turner!
271
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,871
-What are you talking about?!
-Point is,
272
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,960
you can wrap yourself up
in the rules like a...
273
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:37,572
Snug little blanket
to keep you warm at night,
but I'm gonna go get shit done.
274
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:41,619
Balls! Bunny's dead.
275
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:43,795
[Meowing]
276
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:46,059
-[Gasping]
-Calamity Jane! She's allergic!
-Yeah.
277
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,105
Bunny? Hey.
278
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:53,022
-I know a dozen places
we can hide the body.
-Oh... oh... she's still alive.
279
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,328
Fine,
I'll save them for next time.
280
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,633
Uh, her purse.
Wynonna, get her purse!
281
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:58,636
-Yeah, cash.
-No! Medication, wynonna!
282
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,292
Ah, crap.
283
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,207
[Mumbling]
284
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:07,297
Oh! Is this oxy?! Ow.
285
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,299
-Oh, the tea.
-Oh!
286
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:14,043
Alright, bunny, here we go,
here we go. Swallow.
287
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:17,090
C'mon, c'mon, you old bat! Oh.
288
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,527
-Okay.
-[Bunny exclaiming]
289
00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:24,227
-I don't need a doctor!
-How about an exorcist, bun bun?
290
00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:26,229
Okay. Let's put her
in my cruiser.
We'll get her faster
291
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:27,622
to the hospital
with the lights and sirens on.
292
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,232
Don't take me
to purgatory general!
293
00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:31,408
They have
too many immigrant doctors!
294
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:34,368
-Okay, that's enough out of you.
-Ow! Jeez!
295
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:37,110
-Go inside, get her purse.
-So you do wanna Rob her?
296
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,242
No, I want to get her meds.
The doctors need them
to diagnose her.
297
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,070
Go, go, go!
298
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,854
-Get her to the hospital
and get the meds after.
-What the hell?!
299
00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:44,378
-I will get them.
You want something done right!
-No, I will do it.
300
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,945
[Shouting]
301
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:50,340
What is going on?!
[Indistinct shouting]
302
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,473
[Shouting]
303
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:57,478
You have gotta be freakin'
kidding me!
304
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:02,483
-[Bunny shouting]
-Look who needs my help now.
305
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,705
-What are you doing?
-Get in.
306
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,621
Dude, I have her keys.
What about your truck?
307
00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,972
Battery's dead.
I blame your cat for that, too.
308
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,452
Okay, well, I should drive,
because then we're not stealing
bunny's car,
309
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,106
we're just commandeering it
for official police--
310
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,587
-bigger fish, Nicole.
-Okay.
311
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:22,982
Okay, great, I'll call waverly.
312
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,157
-We're logging on now.
-[Nicole]: Hurry.
313
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,028
We need to make sure
bunny's okay.
314
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,509
[Snorting]
Sorry, sorry, but it's...
It's kind of funny.
315
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,554
You guys have
some terrible luck today.
316
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:33,296
Like "black fly
in your chardonnay"
kind of terrible.
317
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,516
[Wynonna]: Speed it up,
jagged little nerd.
318
00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:39,999
Okay.
Pinging the cruiser's GPS,
319
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,479
and... good news!
It's parked.
320
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:45,482
Bunny nut cheerios!
You need to hurry.
321
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:47,397
Later.
322
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:53,316
Ugh!
Of course those two frat brats
drove your car to a biker bar!
323
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,319
Yeah, well, maybe
they're friendly bikers hosting
a golden girls trivia night.
324
00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:59,061
Well, Rose,
we are not in St. olaf anymore.
325
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,672
Get me outta here,
you white-trash tart!!
326
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,414
You're feeling better.
Try your handle.
327
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,503
-I am!!
-It doesn't open
from the inside.
328
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:09,245
It's a safety feature.
Haven't you been arrested,
like, 500 times?!
329
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:13,032
-Not the time, Nicole!
-Luckily,
I always have a spare key.
330
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,250
Oh, good.
331
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:20,039
-[Gasping]
-You are some kind of moron,
haught!
332
00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:23,216
Whoa! Bullet could ricochet
and hit bunny.
333
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:25,609
-I'm willing to take the risk.
-Or us.
334
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:28,177
-Okay.
-Why don't we just call
the fire department?
335
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:30,049
-They can pop the door off.
-No!!
336
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,094
-What?
-Do not do that.
337
00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:34,749
-They'll never let us sheriffs
live it down.
-Okay, you got a better idea?
338
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,534
Yeah. We go in and find
tweedle Dee, tweedle douche,
339
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:39,449
we're in and out
five minutes, tops.
340
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:42,409
If we get the keys,
she'll never notice,
we're good to go. Let's go.
341
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:45,586
Don't leave me in here,
you sonsofbitches!!
342
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,588
You are gonna hear
from my lawyer!!
343
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:51,374
-[Background chatter]
-Peacemaker?
344
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:55,422
-We're outnumbered.
-We don't want bunny to think
we went in guns blazing.
345
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:57,598
[Wynonna scoffing]
346
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:05,388
I couldn't wait
to join the rodeo circuit
and flee this shithole town.
347
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:07,564
Then I came back one...
348
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:11,394
Long August weekend
and I got drunk, pregnant.
349
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,266
Ended up marrying ward earp.
350
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:16,312
Well, he did give you
three beautiful daughters.
351
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:20,099
No, he gave me two. Waverly
was Julian's, remember?
352
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,104
What's it like,
being with an angel?
353
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,627
What's it like
being with a demon?
354
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:37,638
No, Julian made me feel
like I didn't have to break
my spirit to be happy.
355
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,468
-I do know what that is like.
-Hmm.
356
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,513
The night waverly was born...
357
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:48,518
...ward pushed Julian outside
of the ghost river triangle.
358
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,608
It happened right here.
359
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,567
He's been lost ever since.
360
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:55,351
How do you know that?
361
00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:00,269
Bobo told me.
362
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,531
Del Rey? You talked to him?
363
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,187
I did more than talk to him.
364
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,885
I gave him the Christmas dinner
that you didn't want.
365
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:09,626
And his freedom.
366
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:14,153
Are you out
of your godforsaken mind, woman?
367
00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:17,156
I think we've established,
yes, sometimes.
368
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:21,290
-You have unleashed a monster.
-Bulshar has risen,
sweet cheeks.
369
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,857
These are end times.
370
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,512
It's gonna take monsters
to fight a monster.
371
00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:30,734
Bobo del Rey has tried to kill
your daughters multiple times.
372
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,693
Nobody's perfect.
373
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:36,262
You do not get to make
those life-or-death decisions
for them!
374
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:38,394
Who's gonna stop me?
375
00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:39,743
You, Johnny Hank?
376
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,703
Mm. If necessary.
377
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:43,834
Well, good.
378
00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:46,228
Seems like now
we're finally talking.
379
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:49,318
-So here's my terms.
-[Revenants]: Yeah!!!
380
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:52,800
What should we do
with these interlopers?
381
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:56,195
Release them to the woods
and hunt them down like dogs?
382
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,371
-[All]: Yeah!!
-Or, or...
383
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:02,679
We could eviscerate them
right here on the bar.
384
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,203
[Revenants agreeing]
385
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,814
Are you gonna stay late
and clean up that mess?
386
00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:09,512
'Cause I'm not.
Suggestions?
387
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:12,341
Anyone else?
[Revenants shouting]
388
00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:14,213
[Grunting]
389
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,867
Yah-ha.
That might be a good idea.
390
00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:18,956
-Shhh-shhh.
-[Revenant laughing]
391
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,611
Well, well, well.
392
00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,613
Looks like today
is our lucky day.
393
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:26,529
Seems the would-be sheriff
and the heir
394
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,618
have decided to join us
for a little drink.
395
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,098
[Wynonna chuckling]
396
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:32,492
We were dumb to think
we could pull a fast one on you.
397
00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:34,972
But I can tell
you're men of sport.
398
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:39,412
And, you know, where's the sport
in ripping dumb and doucher
to shreds?
399
00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:40,848
What are you proposin'?
400
00:20:41,979 --> 00:20:44,721
I'm proposing
that you let them go,
401
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,027
and...
402
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:50,553
You and me and, uh,
deputy haught to trot here
403
00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,772
have ourselves a little contest.
404
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,949
What are you good at?
405
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,559
-Golden girls trivia.
-Drinking.
406
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:59,649
You really wanna challenge me
to a drinking contest?
407
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,912
Mm-hmm. I do.
408
00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:04,524
And... if we win,
then you let us go.
409
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:08,876
-What happens when I win?
-Then you...
410
00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:11,531
Get to... kill us.
411
00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:14,534
You could've just
offered them cash.
412
00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:17,580
I didn't work it out
all the way to the end
before I pitched it.
413
00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:20,279
You must be
the stupidest heir yet.
414
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:22,324
Definitely in the top five.
415
00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:24,761
-[Laughter]
-Okay.
416
00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:26,023
Let them greeks go.
417
00:21:28,417 --> 00:21:31,028
You owe us. Take the cruiser
and the old bag in the backseat
and get to the hospital, okay?
418
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:34,597
-Yes, ma'am.
-Now... let's get pissed!
419
00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:36,904
-[Revenants]: Yeah!
-[Cheering]
420
00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:40,560
I'm worried.
Neither of them are answering.
421
00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:42,997
Okay, wait, wait.
Let's just recap.
422
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,305
First, bunny has a
heart attack at Nicole's.
423
00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,872
-Yes.
-Then the cruiser gets stolen
with bunny in it.
424
00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:52,006
Then it just happens to end up
at a revenant roadhouse?
425
00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,965
Doesn't that sound
spectacularly unlucky to you?
426
00:21:57,664 --> 00:21:59,666
Too unlucky
to be a coincidence?
427
00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:03,974
Mirror, mirror, on the floor...
428
00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:13,419
Maybe if we put it
back together,
their luck will change?
429
00:22:13,462 --> 00:22:14,855
Well, it can't get any worse.
430
00:22:14,898 --> 00:22:16,987
-Okay.
-One...
431
00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:19,686
Two, three, drink.
432
00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:23,429
[Groaning]
433
00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:26,519
Mm, is that all you got?
434
00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:29,696
Come on, fella,
let's take this up a notch, huh?
Grab the ouzo.
435
00:22:29,739 --> 00:22:31,698
I really wish
you would stop helping.
436
00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:35,571
One, two, three, drink!
437
00:22:38,705 --> 00:22:40,359
-Ah!
-[Wincing]
438
00:22:41,838 --> 00:22:43,057
How you feeling there,
rolfy boy?
439
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:45,015
-I feel good.
-Good.
440
00:22:45,059 --> 00:22:46,974
-I feel strong.
441
00:22:47,017 --> 00:22:50,760
-I failed college.
-How are you not bombed?
You weigh, like, eight pounds.
442
00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:54,808
I like you. Ena,
443
00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:56,940
dio, tria!
444
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,125
-What's wrong?
-[Belching]
445
00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:12,739
-[Exclamations]
-Game over, lightweight!
446
00:23:12,782 --> 00:23:14,697
What? I swallowed it!
447
00:23:14,741 --> 00:23:17,396
And it came back up,
which means you lose.
Everybody knows that.
448
00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:19,093
It's true, man.
Everyone knows that.
449
00:23:20,877 --> 00:23:23,706
Well, we won fair and square.
Uncuff us.
450
00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,536
Hang on!
[Sniffing]
451
00:23:29,059 --> 00:23:31,932
You've been spitting your shots
into this bottle.
452
00:23:31,975 --> 00:23:35,414
No, she hasn't.
You haven't, right?
453
00:23:35,457 --> 00:23:37,894
-I learned it from coyote ugly.
-Oh, I love that movie!
454
00:23:37,938 --> 00:23:39,722
You broke the rules.
455
00:23:39,766 --> 00:23:41,898
Now I get to break your necks.
456
00:23:41,942 --> 00:23:43,987
-Ooh, good one.
-[Roaring]
457
00:23:44,031 --> 00:23:46,468
-[Screaming]
-Stop!!
458
00:23:46,512 --> 00:23:48,165
-Stop quipping and run!
-Yep.
459
00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:50,429
Okay!
[Grunting]
460
00:23:51,821 --> 00:23:54,084
-[Revenants shouting]
-[Grunting]
461
00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,044
Hurry up! The cuff's chafing.
462
00:23:57,087 --> 00:24:00,917
-You're going too fast
and I'm too drunk.
-Ugh!
463
00:24:00,961 --> 00:24:05,661
-You are literally the worst!
Go!
-Climb! Climb! Climb!
464
00:24:13,234 --> 00:24:14,627
You found my mementos.
465
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,458
You mean, the souvenirs...
Of all the people
you have killed?
466
00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:21,808
-That's a vulgar way to put it.
-It is the truth.
467
00:24:22,635 --> 00:24:23,679
Is it wynonna you're helping?
468
00:24:25,768 --> 00:24:28,118
In a manner of speaking.
469
00:24:28,162 --> 00:24:31,992
She must be some woman
if you're willing to give up
one of your precious pistols.
470
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,995
It's sweet you think
she'd want you now.
471
00:24:36,649 --> 00:24:39,086
You know
how your jealousy bores me.
472
00:24:39,129 --> 00:24:40,217
As you really are.
473
00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:42,611
Wynonna helped make me
as I am.
474
00:24:42,655 --> 00:24:44,613
[Growling]
475
00:24:44,657 --> 00:24:47,703
I did!
Because you asked me to!
476
00:24:50,967 --> 00:24:52,186
My Henry.
477
00:24:53,622 --> 00:24:55,885
The greatest gunslinger
that ever lived.
478
00:24:57,104 --> 00:24:58,627
A filthy, rotten scoundrel.
479
00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:03,719
All this helping and sacrificing
she has you doing...
480
00:25:03,763 --> 00:25:07,027
-She thinks I can be better.
-Than what?
481
00:25:07,070 --> 00:25:08,289
It's beneath you.
482
00:25:09,159 --> 00:25:11,118
Wynonna is breaking your spirit.
483
00:25:12,206 --> 00:25:14,861
But I love you
when you're at your worst.
484
00:25:16,863 --> 00:25:17,907
Maybe even more.
485
00:25:23,173 --> 00:25:25,219
Then you'll know...
486
00:25:25,262 --> 00:25:27,221
I'm not a man
that does ultimatums.
487
00:25:28,004 --> 00:25:28,918
Or likes to choose.
488
00:25:28,962 --> 00:25:31,094
[Chuckling]
You have chosen.
489
00:25:32,008 --> 00:25:34,620
And you're mine, forever now.
490
00:25:34,663 --> 00:25:38,014
[Growling]
So go, tell the earp heir.
491
00:25:39,233 --> 00:25:41,844
See if she welcomes you
back into her bed.
492
00:25:46,109 --> 00:25:48,024
[Snarling]
493
00:25:48,068 --> 00:25:50,984
We wouldn't be in this mess
if you just played by the rules!
494
00:25:51,027 --> 00:25:53,247
There are no rules
in this shit-town.
495
00:25:53,290 --> 00:25:57,251
Nicole, if you wanna be
all normal and law-abiding,
do it somewhere else!
496
00:25:57,294 --> 00:25:58,861
You know what? Get your ass
out of your head, wynonna!
497
00:25:58,905 --> 00:26:00,863
You're not the only one
who's been through stuff.
498
00:26:00,907 --> 00:26:04,258
Oh, right, I forgot.
You survived a massacre.
499
00:26:05,738 --> 00:26:09,176
-Yeah, that one is legit as f.
-You're right I did.
500
00:26:09,219 --> 00:26:12,614
And so I'm not about to die here
handcuffed to a criminal!
501
00:26:12,658 --> 00:26:13,659
You, by the way.
502
00:26:13,702 --> 00:26:15,574
-[Wynonna roaring]
-Oh! Real mature!
503
00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:18,620
You know what?
You survived some shit,
504
00:26:18,664 --> 00:26:20,230
and I cannot wait
for your Ted talk,
505
00:26:20,274 --> 00:26:23,103
but get back to me
when you're cursed!
506
00:26:23,146 --> 00:26:24,974
-Jesus!
-[Clicking]
507
00:26:25,018 --> 00:26:26,976
-Mother bad-lucker, it's jammed.
-Argh!
508
00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:29,631
Not even like space
or strawberry,
509
00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:31,241
but the bad kind of jam!
510
00:26:35,376 --> 00:26:40,599
Well, aren't you two
a pair of catty little bitches?
511
00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:41,948
I like it.
512
00:26:41,991 --> 00:26:44,733
All that animosity
running through your veins...
513
00:26:44,777 --> 00:26:46,866
-[Grunting]
-You're basting in it.
514
00:26:46,909 --> 00:26:48,955
Oh, it'll make you taste
so much better.
515
00:26:52,654 --> 00:26:54,656
-You be Scott.
-You be Tessa.
516
00:27:09,715 --> 00:27:11,978
-We make a pretty good team.
-Yeah, our chemistry's solid.
517
00:27:12,021 --> 00:27:13,849
-[Cracking]
-Ah!
-Okay.
518
00:27:13,893 --> 00:27:15,808
-[Grunting]
-Yep. Exactly.
519
00:27:21,248 --> 00:27:22,945
[Roaring]
520
00:27:22,989 --> 00:27:26,296
As much as I love a feel-good
ending, this ain't it.
521
00:27:26,340 --> 00:27:27,646
Any last words?
522
00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:29,909
-I miss macaulay culkin!
-Tell waverly I love her!
523
00:27:29,952 --> 00:27:33,652
Sure, make me look
like an asshole.
[Grunting]
524
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:35,175
[Groaning]
525
00:27:39,745 --> 00:27:41,660
You owe me a wife.
526
00:27:42,704 --> 00:27:44,793
-Is this better, or worse?
-Worse.
527
00:27:44,837 --> 00:27:46,186
Okay.
528
00:27:47,970 --> 00:27:49,972
There's... there's gotta be
one more piece!
529
00:27:50,016 --> 00:27:52,671
Ah, whoop, there it is!
Here, here.
530
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:55,151
-Oh! Oh, my god.
-Okay, bad luck over?
531
00:27:55,195 --> 00:27:58,024
-We fixed it! Did we fix it?
-I dunno.
532
00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:02,158
-There's a mountain man!!
-A gross, scabby mountain man!!
533
00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:03,203
So not fixed, then.
534
00:28:04,857 --> 00:28:06,902
Not so fast, Gandalf!
535
00:28:06,946 --> 00:28:07,729
No!
536
00:28:09,209 --> 00:28:12,821
-[Mountain man snarling]
-You shall not pass!!!
537
00:28:12,865 --> 00:28:14,823
[Roaring]
538
00:28:16,738 --> 00:28:19,698
Yeah, on second thought,
you do you, man...
539
00:28:20,873 --> 00:28:22,135
Ah!!
540
00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:25,442
One of you
will be my new wife!
541
00:28:25,486 --> 00:28:28,837
-Not it.
-Did he just say wife?
542
00:28:28,881 --> 00:28:29,403
Come on.
543
00:28:30,143 --> 00:28:32,232
-Help.
-[Growling]
544
00:28:35,844 --> 00:28:36,802
Shit!
545
00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:43,199
[Waverly]: Okay,
the mirror wasn't the only thing
they broke, right?
546
00:28:43,243 --> 00:28:45,724
-Wait. What's this?
-Is that ceramic?
547
00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:47,987
It looks like a...
A lawn ornament?
548
00:28:50,293 --> 00:28:51,730
He's not an ogre.
549
00:28:51,773 --> 00:28:53,296
He's a gnome!
550
00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:58,258
-How does that help us?!
-You owe me a wife. Now choose.
551
00:28:58,301 --> 00:29:00,869
-How could we possibly--
-she'd make a great gnome wife.
552
00:29:00,913 --> 00:29:04,743
-Ooh, loving a good puzzle.
-She's beautiful and...
553
00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:07,049
Annoyingly noble.
And I know she's great in bed,
554
00:29:07,093 --> 00:29:09,095
because my house
has very thin walls.
555
00:29:09,138 --> 00:29:12,011
-Quick, quick, quick, quick!
-Stop!
-You should choose wynonna.
556
00:29:12,054 --> 00:29:14,404
She is funny and irrepressible,
557
00:29:14,448 --> 00:29:17,799
and she always goes to the mat
for the people she loves.
558
00:29:17,843 --> 00:29:20,933
-More tape!
-Oh, and she's super fertile!
-It was one time.
559
00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:24,066
You stick to that,
I will do tape.
560
00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:28,331
I think this would be
a really good time to tell you
that I am a lesbian.
561
00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:31,857
-Oh, like you never went
through an experimental phase.
-Not with gnomes!
562
00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:34,163
That's very narrow-minded,
Nicole! Love is love!
563
00:29:34,207 --> 00:29:36,252
-Stop talking!!!
-[Screaming]
564
00:29:36,296 --> 00:29:38,472
[Grunting]
565
00:29:38,515 --> 00:29:40,866
-Okay.
-[Grunting]
566
00:29:40,909 --> 00:29:43,782
Ugh! You want a wife,
but you need a mint.
567
00:29:45,435 --> 00:29:47,437
-We're missing a piece!
-Okay, I got the knees!
568
00:29:47,481 --> 00:29:50,136
I got the...
Oh, my god, these are--
569
00:29:50,179 --> 00:29:53,139
boobs?! Oh, hell gnome,
it's a lady!
570
00:29:53,182 --> 00:29:55,837
They broke his gnome wife!
Quick, stick the boobs back on!
571
00:29:55,881 --> 00:29:58,274
-That is a lawsuit
waiting to happen!
-Okay, fine, I'll do it!
572
00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:00,973
-With the utmost respect, okay?
-Just... hand me
the double-sided tape!
573
00:30:01,016 --> 00:30:04,150
-Yes.
-Oh, god, I really wish
we had a gnome bra!
574
00:30:04,193 --> 00:30:04,977
Done!
575
00:30:05,978 --> 00:30:06,979
There.
576
00:30:12,158 --> 00:30:14,290
Monique! You're alright.
577
00:30:19,513 --> 00:30:21,254
Oh, buh-buh-buh-buh!
578
00:30:21,297 --> 00:30:22,821
Ah!
579
00:30:26,302 --> 00:30:28,478
-Aw, that was kind of--
-sweet.
580
00:30:28,522 --> 00:30:30,176
And romantic.
581
00:30:30,219 --> 00:30:32,918
Exactly how
my first grindr date ended.
582
00:30:34,876 --> 00:30:36,791
I've said too much.
583
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:39,446
Found it at the old roadhouse.
Doors were open,
keys were in the ignition.
584
00:30:39,489 --> 00:30:41,361
I wouldn't drive it
for more than a day.
585
00:30:41,404 --> 00:30:44,538
You never know
when the owner's gonna sober up
and report it stolen.
586
00:30:45,452 --> 00:30:48,324
Okay. We got some cash, an ID.
587
00:30:48,368 --> 00:30:52,981
Ooh, I knew an outlaw'd get
what's needed when I need
to get out of dodge fast.
588
00:30:54,026 --> 00:30:57,507
Oh, but...
I'm not gonna take your pistol.
589
00:30:57,551 --> 00:30:58,987
We both know
you might need that.
590
00:30:59,031 --> 00:31:01,163
-[Sighing]
-Much obliged.
591
00:31:01,207 --> 00:31:04,340
Otherwise, nicely done,
Johnny Hank.
592
00:31:04,384 --> 00:31:05,864
Wish I could say the same.
593
00:31:06,995 --> 00:31:08,518
Is this where you beg me
to stay?
594
00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:10,259
Oh, I do not beg.
595
00:31:13,045 --> 00:31:16,091
Anyways, this gives us our best
chance at keeping them safe.
596
00:31:16,135 --> 00:31:19,965
Seems to be my lot in life.
Leaving to keep
other people safe.
597
00:31:20,008 --> 00:31:22,402
-Am I meant
to feel sorry for you?
-No.
598
00:31:22,445 --> 00:31:24,447
I would never ask you that.
599
00:31:24,491 --> 00:31:27,276
But you do recognize this,
you recognize me,
600
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,191
you recognize what I'm doing.
601
00:31:29,235 --> 00:31:33,239
Setting evil free
and imperiling your own family
in the process?
602
00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:37,199
Now that I know
what's happened to Julian,
I have to go find him.
603
00:31:37,243 --> 00:31:39,027
He's lost out there.
604
00:31:39,071 --> 00:31:41,421
He's outside
the ghost river triangle.
605
00:31:42,204 --> 00:31:45,642
From the second
I walked into that barn...
606
00:31:45,686 --> 00:31:47,601
You knew I'd make you leave,
607
00:31:48,428 --> 00:31:49,995
you knew I'd help you.
608
00:31:50,038 --> 00:31:52,345
Sometimes it takes a monster.
609
00:31:53,999 --> 00:31:55,609
Wynonna will be angry.
610
00:31:56,958 --> 00:31:58,351
She's not gonna be angry
with you.
611
00:31:59,265 --> 00:32:01,223
She always seems to forgive you.
612
00:32:02,007 --> 00:32:04,487
Still,
you may not escape her anger,
613
00:32:04,531 --> 00:32:09,014
for you are abandoning
your family for love.
614
00:32:09,057 --> 00:32:13,583
Oh. Like I'm gonna let
a vampire lecture me on love.
615
00:32:24,203 --> 00:32:26,945
Oh.
[Gasping]
Shit.
616
00:32:28,685 --> 00:32:31,601
Out already? Didn't even
have time to send flowers.
617
00:32:31,645 --> 00:32:34,430
It was just a fancy faint.
618
00:32:34,474 --> 00:32:36,998
Yeah, the cat made a bed
in your ass crack.
619
00:32:37,042 --> 00:32:40,045
The doctor said I'm fine.
I'm as healthy as an ox.
620
00:32:40,088 --> 00:32:41,655
-With the cankles to match.
-Listen.
621
00:32:41,698 --> 00:32:44,614
I am just here
to tell officer haught
622
00:32:44,658 --> 00:32:47,008
that despite the day's events,
623
00:32:47,052 --> 00:32:49,402
she will not be getting
my support.
624
00:32:51,491 --> 00:32:54,973
She saved your life,
you incorrigible bitch.
625
00:32:55,016 --> 00:32:56,626
Perhaps.
626
00:32:56,670 --> 00:32:59,673
But she does not belong
here in purgatory.
627
00:32:59,716 --> 00:33:02,197
She is not our... people.
628
00:33:02,241 --> 00:33:04,504
Are you a xenophobe,
or a homophobe?
629
00:33:04,547 --> 00:33:06,985
Why pick just one?
630
00:33:07,028 --> 00:33:10,075
Even though it was against
her best interest,
Nicole did the right thing.
631
00:33:10,118 --> 00:33:12,425
She always does the right thing,
no matter what.
632
00:33:12,468 --> 00:33:14,470
That's the kind of person
who should be sheriff.
633
00:33:14,514 --> 00:33:16,211
-I'll keep that in mind.
-No.
634
00:33:17,082 --> 00:33:20,999
Bunny...
Shouldn't we talk about
what really happened today?
635
00:33:22,348 --> 00:33:24,393
What's really got
your pearls all twisted?
636
00:33:24,437 --> 00:33:27,701
-I don't know
what you're talking about.
-What you saw.
637
00:33:28,397 --> 00:33:30,704
Because you saw something,
didn't you, bun bun?
638
00:33:30,747 --> 00:33:34,273
It was a dream,
a terrible dream.
639
00:33:34,316 --> 00:33:36,405
Like the one
where I'm on the cruise ship
640
00:33:36,449 --> 00:33:39,495
with all the shirtless...
Portuguese sailors.
641
00:33:39,539 --> 00:33:42,324
Okay,
there's a lot to unpack there.
642
00:33:42,368 --> 00:33:45,197
But no... you weren't dreaming.
643
00:33:46,111 --> 00:33:47,677
See, you think
you want to know the things
644
00:33:47,721 --> 00:33:49,549
nedley's been keeping secret.
645
00:33:50,724 --> 00:33:52,769
You don't.
That monster you saw today,
646
00:33:52,813 --> 00:33:56,295
it's just...
The tip of the iceberg.
647
00:33:57,122 --> 00:33:58,166
Iceberg?
648
00:33:58,210 --> 00:34:00,081
If you don't back Nicole
for sheriff,
649
00:34:00,125 --> 00:34:05,043
I am sending that monster
and all of his demon friends...
650
00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:07,045
To your house.
651
00:34:07,088 --> 00:34:10,091
You can't and you won't.
652
00:34:10,135 --> 00:34:12,354
Oh, bless your cold,
withered heart.
653
00:34:13,138 --> 00:34:15,270
You think it could handle
another "fancy faint"?
654
00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:18,752
Then Nicole haught's gonna be
the next sheriff.
655
00:34:18,795 --> 00:34:20,058
Okay?
656
00:34:21,102 --> 00:34:22,408
Have a lovely day.
657
00:34:22,451 --> 00:34:24,366
I need to get to church.
658
00:34:24,410 --> 00:34:25,715
You gotta book yourself
that cruise.
659
00:34:33,419 --> 00:34:35,203
How long
have you been listening?
660
00:34:35,247 --> 00:34:36,726
It would've been rude
to interrupt.
661
00:34:36,770 --> 00:34:39,599
-Naughty haughty.
-How's yourhead? Because...
662
00:34:40,252 --> 00:34:42,341
I feel like I can hear space
and time.
663
00:34:42,384 --> 00:34:45,518
[Both chuckling]
Hair of the dog?
664
00:34:47,172 --> 00:34:49,391
Officer haught. At work?
665
00:34:49,435 --> 00:34:52,612
Well, some rules
are made to be broken.
666
00:34:52,655 --> 00:34:54,440
Huh.
Maybe you would be a good wife.
667
00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:57,834
Ah, thank you.
But you're not my type.
You cheat at drinking games.
668
00:34:57,878 --> 00:34:59,401
-[Laughter]
-Mm-hmm.
669
00:35:02,796 --> 00:35:03,797
Truce?
670
00:35:04,493 --> 00:35:06,278
More than a truce. A win.
671
00:35:07,192 --> 00:35:08,106
Hm.
672
00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:13,328
You know, I used to think
you were an outsider too.
673
00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:16,549
And that things would get
too demony and you would...
674
00:35:17,245 --> 00:35:19,813
Go and leave my sister
with a broken heart.
675
00:35:19,856 --> 00:35:22,772
Wynonna, I love her.
676
00:35:22,816 --> 00:35:23,643
Ew.
677
00:35:24,470 --> 00:35:26,124
Also, you'd better.
678
00:35:28,256 --> 00:35:30,302
And I love you, too.
679
00:35:30,345 --> 00:35:34,262
I mean, I know it's terribly
unfair and sometimes
I really get... jealous,
680
00:35:34,306 --> 00:35:36,482
because you get to be...
681
00:35:38,266 --> 00:35:39,267
Get to be what?
682
00:35:40,790 --> 00:35:41,748
You.
683
00:35:44,881 --> 00:35:47,319
You know, you're staked
to this land, same as me.
684
00:35:48,233 --> 00:35:50,191
You never had a choice.
685
00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:51,236
What do you mean?
686
00:35:56,589 --> 00:35:58,330
It wasn't black badge
who saved you
687
00:35:58,373 --> 00:36:00,854
from the cult of bulshar
massacre, Nicole.
688
00:36:03,465 --> 00:36:05,163
It was an idealistic local cop.
689
00:36:11,691 --> 00:36:13,954
-[Grunting and sighing]
-[Knocking]
690
00:36:15,521 --> 00:36:16,783
Oh...
691
00:36:18,654 --> 00:36:21,614
That little dance battle
at the vampire ball
really did my back in.
692
00:36:29,535 --> 00:36:30,884
Ah...
693
00:36:37,630 --> 00:36:39,632
You were so damn scared.
694
00:36:42,374 --> 00:36:43,984
Still so damn tough.
695
00:36:44,985 --> 00:36:47,292
I found you downriver
from the massacre.
696
00:36:47,335 --> 00:36:50,469
You'd gotten yourself
into a canoe, you got away,
so...
697
00:36:52,384 --> 00:36:53,472
You're the one.
698
00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:02,916
Kept an eye on you afterwards.
699
00:37:04,265 --> 00:37:05,919
You know,
those folks of yours...
700
00:37:07,964 --> 00:37:11,446
Who lets their six-year-old
daughter go to a music festival
in the woods?
701
00:37:11,490 --> 00:37:14,884
[Scoffing]
My parents were never anything
but selfish.
702
00:37:14,928 --> 00:37:16,669
If they could see you now.
703
00:37:16,712 --> 00:37:19,237
Uh... we don't talk.
704
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,501
Why?
Because of... who you are?
705
00:37:22,544 --> 00:37:23,893
Yeah.
706
00:37:23,937 --> 00:37:25,895
A cop.
707
00:37:25,939 --> 00:37:28,507
When I found out you'd enrolled
in the police academy,
708
00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:30,900
I couldn't resist
offering you this job.
709
00:37:30,944 --> 00:37:32,902
When I saw the posting,
I... I knew
710
00:37:32,946 --> 00:37:34,991
that this was where
I had to serve.
711
00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:40,780
Everything good
that I have in my life
712
00:37:40,823 --> 00:37:43,913
is because I came back
to the ghost river triangle.
713
00:37:49,441 --> 00:37:52,618
You're like a daughter...
To me.
714
00:38:11,419 --> 00:38:13,465
You're wrinkling the crease
in my khakis.
715
00:38:21,864 --> 00:38:23,039
Thank you.
716
00:38:25,825 --> 00:38:28,610
You are a tough act to follow.
717
00:38:28,654 --> 00:38:30,482
I'm not going anywhere.
718
00:38:32,875 --> 00:38:34,312
Not if you really need me.
719
00:38:35,617 --> 00:38:37,315
Congratulations, sheriff haught.
720
00:38:39,708 --> 00:38:40,970
You earned it.
721
00:38:44,931 --> 00:38:47,890
Fill a tub with Tequila
and salt the rim.
722
00:38:47,934 --> 00:38:49,675
I have had a day.
723
00:38:52,765 --> 00:38:53,940
She's gone.
724
00:38:56,682 --> 00:38:58,074
Went to find Julian.
725
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:11,087
But we just had Christmas
together and it was so nice.
726
00:39:12,524 --> 00:39:13,960
We could spend our whole lives
trying to figure out
727
00:39:14,003 --> 00:39:16,441
why she does what she does,
baby girl.
728
00:39:17,485 --> 00:39:18,443
We already have.
729
00:39:19,792 --> 00:39:21,968
At least now
she really is free.
730
00:39:22,664 --> 00:39:23,752
Must be nice.
731
00:39:38,811 --> 00:39:40,116
Good evening.
732
00:39:42,467 --> 00:39:43,903
I come bearing gifts.
733
00:39:44,904 --> 00:39:46,775
Well, gift.
734
00:39:53,521 --> 00:39:55,697
-This is--
-bulshar's ring.
735
00:39:55,741 --> 00:39:58,396
It may protect you
in your upcoming battle.
736
00:39:59,179 --> 00:40:01,616
How did you get it?
Nicole had it.
737
00:40:01,660 --> 00:40:05,098
Well...
The details are a little foggy.
738
00:40:06,665 --> 00:40:09,058
I do like to day drink,
as you know.
739
00:40:09,102 --> 00:40:10,451
Why don't you keep it?
740
00:40:12,627 --> 00:40:15,761
Anyone ever tell you
not to look a gift horse
in the mouth?
741
00:40:16,849 --> 00:40:18,546
Did you spend the day
with my mother?
742
00:40:18,590 --> 00:40:21,941
-She essentially treated me
as her ober--
-uber.
743
00:40:27,816 --> 00:40:30,428
What she told me
may require some explanation.
744
00:40:30,471 --> 00:40:31,777
She thought so, too.
745
00:40:33,996 --> 00:40:35,128
Lemme just read it to you.
746
00:40:36,608 --> 00:40:37,826
"Dear wynonna,
747
00:40:39,175 --> 00:40:40,699
don't trust doc holliday.
748
00:40:43,658 --> 00:40:44,964
He's not what he says he is."
749
00:40:45,791 --> 00:40:48,750
Did she also say
she set bobo free from the well?
750
00:40:48,794 --> 00:40:51,449
She does love to burn a place
down before she runs.
751
00:40:51,492 --> 00:40:53,581
The recklessness
of her actions -
752
00:40:53,625 --> 00:40:56,062
I do not see how she could
remain here and keep you safe.
753
00:40:56,976 --> 00:40:58,586
Just tell me what you did.
754
00:41:01,981 --> 00:41:03,069
Who are you?
755
00:41:04,549 --> 00:41:06,768
-Who I've always been.
-Don't talk to me in riddles.
756
00:41:06,812 --> 00:41:09,467
-How should I talk to you, then?
-Like you give a shit about me.
757
00:41:09,510 --> 00:41:11,207
You refused me.
758
00:41:14,820 --> 00:41:16,517
Wynonna, I do care--
759
00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:20,695
you are runnin' out of road,
woman.
760
00:41:21,522 --> 00:41:22,610
Tell me what you are.
761
00:41:25,178 --> 00:41:27,180
[Roaring]
762
00:41:29,748 --> 00:41:31,010
Kate.
763
00:41:33,534 --> 00:41:35,144
You let her do this.
764
00:41:37,886 --> 00:41:39,497
She had you.
765
00:41:40,802 --> 00:41:42,500
It was the only way.
766
00:41:42,543 --> 00:41:44,197
What about us?
[Sniffling]
767
00:41:44,893 --> 00:41:46,678
What about Alice?
768
00:41:48,549 --> 00:41:49,811
What would our daughter say
769
00:41:49,855 --> 00:41:53,554
if she knew
her father sold his soul?!
770
00:41:53,598 --> 00:41:56,949
You of all people
should understand the sacrifices
that have been made.
771
00:41:56,992 --> 00:42:00,822
You wanted your immortality
that badly, selfish asshole?!
772
00:42:00,866 --> 00:42:02,128
You watch your mouth!!
773
00:42:04,304 --> 00:42:05,523
Bite me.
774
00:42:09,135 --> 00:42:10,702
There are some...
775
00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:13,792
...advantages...
776
00:42:15,141 --> 00:42:16,838
...to you being a vampire.
777
00:42:18,013 --> 00:42:19,972
John Henry holliday,
778
00:42:20,015 --> 00:42:22,801
you're not welcome
in my home anymore.
779
00:42:22,844 --> 00:42:24,193
Don't you do this.
780
00:42:24,237 --> 00:42:27,066
No, you did this.
781
00:42:27,109 --> 00:42:28,154
Not me.
782
00:42:40,209 --> 00:42:42,211
♪56042
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