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1
00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:03,590
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:09,590
Oh, my God.
3
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:12,100
Isn't that the guy from
the soft drink commercial?
4
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:15,600
FAY:
Oh, yeah. The construction
worker who takes off his shirt.
5
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,600
He has the most
incredible body.
6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,100
Let's go meet...him.
7
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,110
Hi, I'm Helen Chapel.
8
00:00:21,110 --> 00:00:22,110
Hi, I'm Alex Lambert
9
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:24,110
and we recognize you
from your commercial.
10
00:00:24,110 --> 00:00:25,110
Will you take off
your shirt?
11
00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:26,110
Helen.
Sorry.
12
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:27,610
No, no, it's okay.
13
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:28,610
People ask me to do that
all the time.
14
00:00:28,610 --> 00:00:29,610
I don't mind.
15
00:00:32,620 --> 00:00:34,620
You know, uh, I think
the, uh, zipper's stuck.
16
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,120
Here, let me
try to get it.
17
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,120
It's stuck
on the fabric.
18
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,630
Oh, here, move over.
Let me try.
19
00:00:41,630 --> 00:00:43,130
Announcing final boarding
20
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:47,130
of Aeromass flight 23
to New York through Gate 1.
21
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,130
Time! We need
more time.
22
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:49,130
No, I-- I'm really sorry.
23
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:50,640
I-I have to go.
24
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:51,640
Allow me.
25
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,150
Thank you so much.
26
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,650
Nice meeting you ladies.
27
00:01:21,170 --> 00:01:22,170
Guess who.
28
00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:23,170
And I'll give you
a hint:
29
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,670
You, me and three naked
cocktail waitresses
30
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:28,170
playing roulette
on Aruba.
31
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:32,180
You'll have to be
more specific.
32
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,180
Danny Quinn!
Yes.
33
00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:35,180
Brian.
Danny Quinn!
34
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:36,680
Man, I can't believe this.
35
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:37,680
How the hell
are you?
36
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,180
I'm great,
but what about you?
37
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:40,180
A tie, a clipboard,
38
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:41,690
where's the pocket
protector?
39
00:01:41,690 --> 00:01:43,190
Hey, don't let
the clothing fool you.
40
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,190
I'm just as crazy
as ever, man.
41
00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:47,690
Brian, your pencils came in.
You were right, man.
42
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:50,190
Different colors was definitely
the way to go.
43
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,200
Joey, you're not gonna
believe who this is,
44
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,200
this is Danny Quinn.
45
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,200
Danny, this is my
brother Joe.
46
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,200
How you doin', Danny?
47
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,700
This is your
brother Joe?
Yeah.
48
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,710
He doesn't look
like such a dweeb.
49
00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:04,710
Dweeb? D-did you know that
Brian wet his bed until, uh--
50
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:07,210
I don't know.
How are you doing with that?
51
00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:10,720
So, what are you
doing here, Danny?
52
00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:12,720
Well, I was in Boston
talking to my publisher...
53
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:13,720
Your who?
54
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:14,720
Check it out.
55
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,220
( laughing ):
Oh, man.
56
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,720
Tequila Nights
by Danny Quinn.
57
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,720
Yeah. It's about
you and me
58
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,720
and all the wild times
we had on the islands.
59
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,730
You gotta be kiddin' me.
60
00:02:21,730 --> 00:02:23,230
They let you publish
that stuff?
61
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,730
Here's your coffee, Joe.
Thanks, Helen.
62
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,730
Hello,
I'm Danny Quinn
63
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,730
and I'm a real close,
close friend of Brian's.
64
00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:29,730
Unless, of course,
you hate him,
65
00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:31,240
in which case,
I do too.
66
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,740
( chuckles )
67
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:33,740
He's funny
and tall.
68
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:35,240
( giggles )
69
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,240
Um, hi, I'm Helen Chapel.
70
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,740
And it's very nice
to meet you.
71
00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:39,740
That's very subtle, Helen.
72
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,250
Why don't you just
club him over the head
73
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:43,750
and drag him back
to your cave.
74
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:44,750
Wait a second,
is this you?
75
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:46,250
Oh, yeah,
Danny wrote that.
76
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,250
It's all about the wild times
we had in the Caribbean.
77
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:49,750
Keep it, if you want,
I've already read it.
78
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:51,760
And frankly, I find it
rather pedestrian.
79
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,760
( laughs )
80
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,260
Well, great.
I can't wait to--
81
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:55,260
Whoa-ho.
82
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:57,260
Hello.
83
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,260
That word sort of jumps out
at ya, doesn't it?
84
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,270
Mm-hm.
85
00:03:01,270 --> 00:03:03,270
Interesting
local talent.
86
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,770
Uh, she's got
a boyfriend.
87
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:06,270
What's on for tonight?
88
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,770
Hey, man, anything
you wanna do?
89
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,270
I'm up for something.
90
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:10,780
In fact, there's a place
on the island
91
00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:12,280
that is perfect for you,
crawling with women.
92
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,280
Just like
the old days.
93
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,280
I'm for something.
94
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,780
Uh, damn,
you know,
95
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,280
I just remembered
my car's in the shop.
96
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,280
I got a car.
97
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,790
Hey, Joey, you wanna come
with me and Danny tonight?
98
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,790
Oh, oh, you think I don't
know what you're doing?
99
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:26,290
Just 'cause I've got a car,
100
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,290
now you're gonna
invite me along.
101
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:29,290
Seven o'clock okay?
102
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,290
Yeah, it's great.
103
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:32,300
Oh, in fact, you know,
we don't have anymore flights.
104
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,800
Let's get Joe
and let's get outta here.
105
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:34,800
Excellent.
Hey, babe.
106
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,300
Oh, hey.
Hey, hey, Alex.
107
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,800
My girlfriend,
right.
108
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,800
Hi, uh-- Alex, uh...
109
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,810
This is my old friend
Danny Quinn,
110
00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:42,810
This is my
girlfriend Alex.
111
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:44,810
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
112
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:47,310
Uh, wait a minute,
Danny Quinn.
113
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:50,310
The Danny Quinn? The one
who got you thrown in jail?
114
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,820
Hey, hey, hey, now.
115
00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:53,320
She's the one that wanted
to dance topless,
116
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,820
how were we supposed to know she
was the ambassador's daughter?
117
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,820
Listen, Alex,
118
00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,320
we've got a lot
of catching up to do.
119
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,830
Can I borrow Brian
for a few hours?
120
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,830
You don't have to
ask her permission.
121
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:04,330
I can go, can't I?
122
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:07,830
Sure, just stay
outta jail.
123
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:08,830
It was nice
to meet you.
124
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:09,830
Nice meetin' you.
125
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:12,840
"Hot and flushed
from lovemaking,
126
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,340
"Kiki dove naked
off the boat,
127
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:17,840
"motioning Ryan
to join her
128
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,840
in the warm, beckoning
waters of the cove."
129
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,850
Put-- Put-- Put-- Put Kiki
back on the boat and uh...
130
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,850
Read it again, slowly.
131
00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:33,860
Whoa-ho-ho.
Get a load of that.
132
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:42,370
Oh, boy, that could've
been embarrassing,
133
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:44,870
I almost wore
the same outfit today.
134
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,880
Oh, I don't believe it.
It's Big Strong Man.
135
00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:52,380
Who?
Oh.
136
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:54,880
Yeah, I remember him from
that TV show when we were kids.
137
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,380
Big Strong Man
Big Strong Man
138
00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,890
He lifts up stuff
Just 'cause he can
139
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,390
Yeah.
Yeah.
140
00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:04,390
Yeah, well, wonder
what he's doing here.
141
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:05,890
You know, he was at
the supermarket opening
142
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:07,890
this morning,
signing autographs.
143
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:11,900
I-I invited him to lunch but I
didn't think he was gonna show.
144
00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,900
Hey, there.
145
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,900
Hey, Big Strong Man,
I can't believe you're here.
146
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,900
I mean, you--
You really showed up.
147
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:18,900
But, wait a minute,
148
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,410
that's not how Big Strong Man
comes on the scene.
149
00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:23,910
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
All right.
150
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:29,410
Yahooey!
151
00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:33,420
Say, that offer for lunch
still good, little buddy?
152
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,920
I don't believe it.
153
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:38,420
I, Lowell Mather, am going
to lunch with Big Strong Man.
154
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,420
That's right, son.
155
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,430
Uh, you did say
you'd pay, right?
156
00:05:41,430 --> 00:05:42,930
Hey, try and stop me.
157
00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:44,430
( chuckles ):
Great.
158
00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:46,430
Uh, by the way, a little
trouble finding a hotel room,
159
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:49,430
y-you think I could crash
on your couch for a few days?
160
00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:50,940
Are you kidding?
Huh?
161
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:53,940
Sure. Oh, this is
gonna be so cool.
162
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:54,940
I mean, we can
stay up late,
163
00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:56,440
we can tell stories.
164
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,940
Roast marshmallows.
165
00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,440
Roast marshmallows, hey.
166
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,450
That's great. Uh, how you fixed
for Scotch, by the way?
167
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:11,460
So, Danny, I was flipping
through your book
168
00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:13,460
and, uh, I gotta tell ya, I find
it a little hard to believe
169
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:17,460
that you and this guy, here,
took on four drunk Marines.
170
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,460
Drunk Marines?
171
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,970
Okay, so I embellished.
172
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,970
Actually, it was
two optomologists.
173
00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:27,470
And we were just fighting
over a volleyball court.
174
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,470
Sure, easy for you to say.
175
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,970
I was the one
who had to go toe-to-toe
176
00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:31,980
with Dr. Irving Schenberg.
177
00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:33,980
Hey, hey, guys.
Look right over there.
178
00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:36,480
DANNY:
Ooh, very nice.
179
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,480
You've done well,
brave scout.
180
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:41,990
Brian, remember the, uh,
foreign tourist bit?
181
00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:42,990
( laughs )
182
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:43,990
What--? What is that?
183
00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:44,990
Women are suckers for men
184
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,490
with a foreign accent.
185
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,990
So we go up to them
and we say that we're,
186
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,490
like, uh, from Australia
187
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:51,000
and we wanna see
the fun places in town.
188
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:52,500
Come on, Brian.
Let's show him.
189
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:53,500
This is gonna
be great.
190
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,500
Well, what are
you gonna do?
191
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,000
Pick up a girl
and take her home to Alex?
192
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,500
Good point.
193
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,500
I'll do it.
194
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,500
All right.
195
00:07:01,510 --> 00:07:03,510
All right, now, remember,
we're Aussies, right?
196
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:04,510
Let's hear your accent.
197
00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:08,010
Oh, oh, sure.
Uh, let me see, uh...
198
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,010
( normal voice ):
Stick a shrimp on the barbie.
199
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,520
Why don't you be
my American friend.
200
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,020
I can do that.
201
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,520
Have fun,
my boys.
202
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,520
( sighs )
203
00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:24,030
Watch and learn.
204
00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:26,030
You're about to witness
a foolproof method
205
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,530
for picking up women.
206
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,030
That guy over there
is a legend.
207
00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:32,040
The tall one,
not the dweeb.
208
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,040
Aw, oh, what's the matter?
209
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,040
You got shot down, huh?
210
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,540
Well, you tried,
you tried.
211
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:39,540
What are you
talking about?
212
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:40,540
It worked like a charm.
213
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:43,550
They actually bought me
as an American.
214
00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:46,550
As a matter of fact,
215
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:49,050
they want us to go to a party
down at the beach.
216
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:50,550
Ooh, ooh, you know what,
maybe I better
217
00:07:50,550 --> 00:07:52,060
just go back home
to Alex, huh?
218
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:54,560
Aw, poor Brian.
We understand.
219
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,560
It's okay.
Oh, wait a minute.
220
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,560
You got a little
something
221
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,060
sticking out of
your collar, here.
222
00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,060
Oh, look, it's a leash.
223
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:01,060
Sta-- Come on, I know
what you're trying to do.
224
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:04,070
You're trying to embarrass me
into going out with ya.
225
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:05,570
Let me tell ya something...
226
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:07,070
It worked.
Let's go.
227
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,580
ANTONIO: Hi, Lowell.
Hey.
228
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:21,090
Where's your, uh--?
Your superhero friend.
229
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,590
Oh, he just stopped off
for beer and cigarettes.
230
00:08:24,590 --> 00:08:27,090
You know, it's quite an honor
to have Big Strong Man
231
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,090
staying at my house,
232
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:31,090
and eating all of my food,
233
00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:34,100
and making long-distance
calls on my phone.
234
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:36,100
I'm surprised he didn't make you
sleep on the couch.
235
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,100
Uh, no, I wanted to.
236
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,600
You know, I mean,
he's had severe back trouble
237
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,110
ever since episode 43,
when he had to lift up
238
00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:45,610
the entire city of Philadelphia.
239
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:48,110
Lowell, honey, he didn't
actually lift up
240
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,110
the city of Philadelphia.
241
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:53,620
Excuse me, but I think
I have the episode on tape.
242
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,620
How's it going, Big Strong Man?
243
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,130
Yahooey.
244
00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:03,630
You know, I've been
meaning to ask you,
245
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,630
where did you ever come up
with that cool "Yahooey"?
246
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,630
Oh, well, it involved
a trip to the doctor.
247
00:09:09,630 --> 00:09:12,140
Big Strong Man had
what later, thankfully,
248
00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:14,140
turned out to be just a polyp.
249
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,640
So you wanna go have lunch,
Big Strong Man?
250
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,650
Who's paying?
I am.
251
00:09:22,650 --> 00:09:24,650
Right behind you.
252
00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:26,650
Uh, Big Strong Man, uh...
253
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:31,660
Ever tried using your
superpowers to pick up a check?
254
00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:33,160
Hey, I was gonna
pay for his lunch,
255
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,660
I had a little trouble
with the cash machine, huh?
256
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,660
What's your PIN
number again?
257
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,170
Hey, Danny.
Hey, man.
258
00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:43,170
How are ya?
259
00:09:43,170 --> 00:09:44,170
Brian, how ya doin'?
260
00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:45,670
We had a great
time last night.
261
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:46,670
Ah, the best.
262
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:47,670
Best time I've had
in a long time.
263
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,670
Great, 'cause I just
talked to my publisher
264
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:50,670
and she got me
VIP passes
265
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:52,680
to a New York club
opening tonight.
266
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,180
Hey, I'm there.
Me too.
267
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:57,680
Hey, Brian, you've been out
every night this week, man.
268
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:58,680
Yeah, do you really
think Alex
269
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,180
is gonna let you out
again tonight?
270
00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:02,190
Let me out? Let me out.
271
00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:03,190
What am I, a dog?
272
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:04,690
Hi.
273
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:07,190
Hey, hey, baby.
Um...
274
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:10,190
Listen, Danny and Joey
and I are gonna be doing
275
00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:11,700
this club thing
in New York tonight.
276
00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:12,700
You're going out
again tonight?
277
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:14,700
That's four nights
in a row.
278
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,700
I know, but we didn't have any
plans for tonight, did we?
279
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,200
Well, yeah, we did.
280
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,200
We were gonna go look
for a new dinette set.
281
00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:23,210
Come on.
282
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:25,710
Don't give me that look,
it was your idea.
283
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:29,710
Yeah, I know, but-- But we can
do that any night, can't we?
284
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,220
So you'd rather go to
some club with Joe and Danny
285
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:34,220
than go with me to pick out
a dinette set?
286
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:37,220
Is that a trick question?
287
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,220
You know
what I mean.
288
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,230
Look, forget it.
289
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,230
You wanna go, go.
290
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:43,230
Great, great, great.
291
00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:45,230
See, I told you I could go.
292
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,730
Hey, Lambert.
293
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:52,740
I'll help you pick out
a dinette set.
294
00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:55,740
Then we could mosey on down
to the mattress department
295
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:57,740
and go for a test drive.
296
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:01,750
Then right after that we could
stop by the cutlery department
297
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:03,750
and I could slit
my wrists.
298
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:09,250
I can't believe Brian.
He actually went.
299
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:13,760
And after you told him in no
uncertain terms that he could.
300
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,260
Exactly. Why can't
men understand
301
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:18,760
that "go" means "stay."
302
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,260
Well, I'll tell ya,
if it were me,
303
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:21,260
I would have never let him go.
304
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:22,770
Especially after
what happened
305
00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:25,770
last time "Donny" and "Ryan"
went to New York.
306
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:29,270
Chapter eight:
Broadway, Bound and Gagged.
307
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:32,280
Ooh. I don't-- I don't
think I read that chapter
308
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,780
Well, I don't wanna stop him
from going out with his friends,
309
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,280
it just kinda hurt
that, you know,
310
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,780
he wouldn't rather
be with me.
311
00:11:41,790 --> 00:11:43,290
Can you believe that
he went to New York?
312
00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,290
I mean, that Brian
is like a child.
313
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:48,290
What-- What he really
needs is a spanking.
314
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,790
Oh, so you did read
chapter eight.
315
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:12,320
Mm... Hey.
316
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,820
Baby, what are you doing
up so late, huh?
317
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,320
It's 8:00 in the morning.
318
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,820
Oh. What am I doing up so late?
319
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,820
Good night.
320
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:20,820
Brian, this
isn't funny.
321
00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,830
Where were you
all night?
322
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:24,830
Oh, well, you know
where I was.
323
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:25,830
I was in New York
with Joey and Danny.
324
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,330
It was great.
325
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:30,330
You know,
you could have called.
326
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:31,330
( sighs )
327
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:33,340
I know. I'm sorry.
328
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:34,340
I should have called.
329
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:36,840
I was up all night.
I was worried sick.
330
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:40,340
Ba-- I-I said
I was sorry, okay, Mom?
331
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:41,340
"Mom"?
332
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,850
( scoffs )
333
00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:43,850
Alex, relax.
334
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,350
It's a little joke,
little joke.
335
00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:46,850
Do we have to
do this now?
336
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,350
No, you're right. Let's not.
337
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,850
I'm gonna go to work,
I'm gonna cool off.
338
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:50,850
We can talk
about this tonight.
339
00:12:50,850 --> 00:12:52,360
Oh, tonight, tonight.
340
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,360
Tonight's gonna be bad
because Joey and Danny
341
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:55,360
were talking
about us--
342
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,360
I don't believe this.
343
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,360
Five nights in a row?
344
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,870
Forget it.
345
00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:03,870
Alex...
346
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,370
Baby, is there
something wrong?
347
00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:13,380
Yes. I can't decide whether
to slap you or deck you.
348
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:14,880
Oh, for God's sake.
349
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,880
You know, I can't believe
you're getting this upset
350
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:17,880
over a dinette set.
351
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,880
It's not about
the stupid dinette set.
352
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,890
It was never about
a stupid dinette set.
353
00:13:21,890 --> 00:13:23,890
All right, then, I do know
what this is about.
354
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,890
This is about, uh,
you being worried
355
00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,890
because when I was
with Danny and Joey,
356
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,390
you thought I was
fooling around, huh?
357
00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:31,390
Actually, I wasn't
worried about that
358
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,900
but since you brought
it up, were you?
359
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:34,900
No.
360
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,400
No.
361
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,900
It's not like I didn't
have the chance to.
362
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,400
Did you want to.
363
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,910
I-- Did I--?
364
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,410
It's a guy thing.
You know, guys--
365
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:49,410
Guys want to but I didn't
because I was,
366
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:51,410
you know, with you.
367
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:54,420
Oh, you say the sweetest things.
368
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,920
Ugh, look, if you're
done scolding me,
369
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,920
I think I'll
get some sleep.
370
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,930
Hey, what's
going on here?
371
00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:04,430
You wanna just go out and do
whatever the hell you wanna do
372
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:06,430
and you want me to be here
for you when you get home?
373
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:07,430
Alex. Alex.
374
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,430
Do you want to be
375
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,430
in this relationship
or don't you?
376
00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:11,430
( sighs )
377
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,940
I see.
378
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:18,440
Well, I'm gonna
go to work now.
379
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,440
While I'm gone,
pack up your stuff
380
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,450
and get the hell outta here.
381
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,450
Okay, fine. Fine,
if that's what you want.
382
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:27,950
No, no.
383
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,450
That's what you want.
384
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,460
( door slams )
385
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:35,460
( moans )
386
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,470
"As the trade winds blew
gently through her long,
387
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:53,980
"honey-blond hair,
Ryan softly caressed her skin
388
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:57,480
which was still moist
from their nude midnight swim."
389
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,980
( crying )
390
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,990
It's no fair.
391
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,990
Some men drink deep from
the fountain of life
392
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:11,500
while Antonio takes one sip
and it goes down the wrong pipe.
393
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,000
Boy, I sure am sorry
you're leaving.
394
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,500
I was kinda getting
used to having
395
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,500
my own Big Strong Man
around the house.
396
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,500
Mm.
( chuckles )
397
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,510
You get it?
398
00:15:22,510 --> 00:15:23,510
Oh, yeah, yeah.
399
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:24,510
That's a great joke, partner.
400
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:26,010
Fresh too.
401
00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:27,010
Listen, I really
wanna pay you back
402
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,510
for that farewell lunch, huh?
403
00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:30,510
Ugh, another meal.
404
00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:34,020
Looks like Big Strong Man
has a big strong tapeworm.
405
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,020
Yeah. I ca-- I can't
seem to find my wallet.
406
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,520
Well, maybe I can
help you find it.
407
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:40,520
What's it look like?
408
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,520
My guess is brand new
409
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,530
and never been opened.
410
00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:44,530
Look, Lowell, wake up.
411
00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:46,530
This guy's a bum.
He is a loser.
412
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,030
He's bleedin' you dry.
413
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,530
Hey, hang on
a second, Roy.
414
00:15:50,530 --> 00:15:52,540
You can't talk
like that.
415
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:55,040
You know, it's not easy
to be a superhero.
416
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,540
In real life, you don't
have wires holding you up
417
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,040
when you go flying.
418
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,040
There's no pads
to soften the blow
419
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,550
when the network
replaces you
420
00:16:02,550 --> 00:16:05,550
with your trusty
sidekick Duckface.
421
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,050
I know he's not everything
that he used to be
422
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:12,060
but I still
owe this man a lot.
423
00:16:12,060 --> 00:16:15,060
I mean, ever afternoon at 3:30,
he was there for me,
424
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,560
protecting my little world.
425
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,560
I salute you,
Big Strong Man.
426
00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:24,070
Thank you, Joel.
427
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:26,570
Enh.
428
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,070
Well, Big Strong Man's
gotta go.
429
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,580
I gotta work a bachelor party
in Worcester.
430
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:34,080
Eh, don't even ask.
431
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:38,580
Here. You wanna sign this?
432
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:39,580
What's this?
433
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,080
Big Strong Thief
just paid for his ticket
434
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,590
with your credit card.
435
00:16:43,590 --> 00:16:45,090
Really?
436
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:47,090
Come back here,
you bastard!
437
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,100
Good morning!
438
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,100
Little hung over?
439
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,600
Oh, please.
440
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,100
( slams )
441
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,100
Why are you doing this?
442
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:05,110
Because you called me
at 3 a.m. in the morning
443
00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:07,610
demanding to know the name of
our 10th grade homeroom teacher.
444
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,110
I did not.
445
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:10,610
Yes, you did. You were
convinced you saw her
446
00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:13,120
turning tricks in front
of the Chrysler building.
447
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,120
Really?
448
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,620
Oh, I'm sorry.
449
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,120
Helen, I think I could
be sick at any moment.
450
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,630
Oh, I know how you feel.
451
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,130
I just finished your book.
452
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:31,130
Well, Danny, it just doesn't
get any better than this.
453
00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:33,140
There they are!
454
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:36,640
Hey, what are you
two maniacs up to, huh?
455
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:37,640
Would you please
give it a rest?
456
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,640
Just go someplace
and let us die in peace.
457
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:40,640
Amateurs. Amateurs.
458
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,650
Hey, hey, we going back
to that club tonight?
459
00:17:42,650 --> 00:17:43,650
Pass.
460
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:46,150
What? Come on,
what's with you guys?
461
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,150
Actually, Brian, I'm taking off.
462
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,650
What?
463
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:51,650
I'm getting a little
too old for this.
464
00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:53,160
Since when?
465
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,160
Since about an hour ago when
I threw up that cocktail napkin.
466
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,160
Where is all this
coming from?
467
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,170
You.
468
00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:04,670
I mean, last night
when we were at that party
469
00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:06,670
and I was hitting on every
beautiful woman in the room,
470
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:09,170
suddenly I looked over and I--
I envied you.
471
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:11,680
Envied me? Why?
472
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:13,680
Because no matter
who I go home with,
473
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,180
you get to go home to Alex,
474
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,680
somebody who
really cares for you.
475
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,680
Ugh. I don't believe this.
476
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,190
In fact, it started me thinking
about my own relationship
477
00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:25,690
and, who knows, if I put
a little effort into it...
478
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:28,190
maybe it could turn into
something really serious.
479
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,700
Oh, Joe, Joe.
480
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,200
I got this phone
number last night.
481
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,200
She's blond, she's beautiful,
she's yours.
482
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,700
Uh, well, unless it's the local
Maalox rep, I'm not interested.
483
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,710
Well, take it easy, "Donny."
484
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:46,210
See ya, "Ryan."
485
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:49,710
Nice to finally
meet you, Joe.
486
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:50,710
You too, Danny.
487
00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:51,710
A little tip for ya:
488
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:55,220
Scotch and Kahlúa,
not a real drink.
489
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:03,230
Hey, come on.
We don't need him.
490
00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:05,230
What do you say, you and me
we go out tonight, huh?
491
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:06,230
Oh, man. Forget it.
492
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,730
Look, just go home and have
493
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,730
a nice quiet
evening with Alex.
494
00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:11,230
Well, what about this number?
495
00:19:11,230 --> 00:19:12,240
"Marcy"?
496
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,240
Ugh, you kidding me?
497
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,240
I am so sick right now,
I can barely walk.
498
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,240
Besides, I gotta
take a flight.
499
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,250
People are always saying:
500
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:31,250
"Oh, Marcy, anyone
can do electrolysis."
501
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,260
But that's not true.
502
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,760
There's a science
to hair removal.
503
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,760
BRIAN:
Oh, my God.
504
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,260
I just made the biggest mistake
of my entire life.
505
00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,260
If you don't grip the hair
close to the follicle,
506
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:45,770
then the charge won't deaden
the root and it'll grow back.
507
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:48,270
Dear, God, help me.
508
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,270
( Marcy talking indistinctly )
509
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,280
( doorbell rings )
510
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,280
( knock on door )
511
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,790
BRIAN:
Alex?
512
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,290
Baby, wake up,
it's me.
513
00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:04,290
( knocking continues )
514
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,290
( doorbell rings )
515
00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:06,790
Hey, Alex.
516
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:12,800
Hi.
517
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:13,800
What is it?
518
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,300
Oh, I didn't mean
to wake you up,
519
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,300
uh, my key wouldn't work.
520
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,300
I had the locks changed.
521
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,800
Oh, well, okay.
That's fine.
522
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,810
Understand. Understand that.
523
00:20:22,810 --> 00:20:24,810
Listen, uh...
524
00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:27,310
Is that my baseball trophy?
525
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,310
It looks like
it was sawn in half.
526
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:31,310
Oh, right.
527
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:33,320
I must have dropped it.
528
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,820
Look, Brian--
No, no, no, no, no.
529
00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:36,820
Please, uh, let me speak.
530
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:40,320
Uh, Alex, baby, I...
531
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,330
I screwed up big time.
532
00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:43,330
I really did.
533
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:44,830
I-I'm an idiot.
534
00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:47,330
It's just that Danny
came to town
535
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,830
and I just got caught up
in him, you know?
536
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:51,830
I-I never should have
treated you like that.
537
00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:54,840
And-- And you gotta believe me,
I don't wanna see anybody else.
538
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,340
Ever.
539
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,340
Come on.
540
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,840
Come on, I know you.
541
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,850
You hate just as much as I do
that we're apart, don't you?
542
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:05,350
Yes.
543
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:06,850
We were happy together.
544
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,350
I mean, we were really,
really happy, right?
545
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,350
Yes.
Well...
546
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:14,860
We don't wanna
lose that, do we?
547
00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:17,360
Brian, you're right,
we were great together.
548
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:20,360
Great. We are,
we are, we are.
549
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:24,370
So why don't we just try
to forget what happened
550
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:28,370
and, uh, get back together,
what do you say?
551
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:33,380
No.
552
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,380
( sighs )
553
00:21:50,660 --> 00:21:52,400
( upbeat piano theme playing )
36360
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