Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:05,590
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:10,590 --> 00:00:12,100
( clears throat )
3
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:15,100
Oh. Heh-heh-heh!
Uh, welcome to Sandpiper.
4
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:17,100
And where are you off to
this fine day?
5
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,100
Boston.
6
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,100
Although,
I wish I wasn't. Heh!
7
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,110
I'm going
to see my mother.
8
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:24,110
Sounds like you two
don't get along.
9
00:00:24,110 --> 00:00:26,610
We just have this one
little problem.
10
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,110
I think I'm 40.
11
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:31,620
Mom thinks I'm 12.
12
00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:33,620
Um, you know,
I was just reading something
13
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:36,620
in my Psychology book
that might be of help to you.
14
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,620
Eh, you see, um,
it's possible
15
00:00:38,620 --> 00:00:41,130
that your mother has trouble
defining herself
16
00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:43,630
as anything other
than your parent.
17
00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:45,130
If she allows you
to grow up,
18
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:48,130
then she has to admit that
she's getting older herself.
19
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:49,630
And that isn't always easy.
20
00:00:49,630 --> 00:00:53,140
Can you imagine the pain
the poor woman must be feeling?
21
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,140
( sobbing )
Oh!
22
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,140
Oh, now, now. Oh, no.
23
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:02,150
Now, you just let it all out.
Oh.
24
00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:06,650
I never really looked at it
from Mom's point of view.
25
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,650
Thank you so much.
26
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,160
Are you gonna be here
on Monday?
27
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,660
When I come back?
28
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:14,660
Well, let's see.
29
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:20,670
Uh, I do have an hour open
around 2.
30
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:22,670
Great.
31
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,170
I'll see you then.
32
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:28,170
( upbeat piano theme playing )
33
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,680
Alex, Davis is gonna be here
any second. What about my hair?
34
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,680
Should I wear it, like, up
with just a few...?
35
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:37,680
Or just down?
36
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,180
I think it looks great
either way.
37
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,190
If I may
cast a vote,
38
00:01:41,190 --> 00:01:42,690
I like it up or down.
39
00:01:42,690 --> 00:01:46,190
Just...not in my soup.
40
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,690
Antonio, I'm-- I'm really sorry.
41
00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:51,200
Um, I'll tell you what.
No charge.
42
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,700
No kidding.
43
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:55,200
What time is it?
What time is it?
44
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,700
Relax. I'm sure he'll be here.
Oh, I know he will.
45
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,210
Just because he didn't show up
the last few times,
46
00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:03,710
I know for a fact he's
definitely gonna be here today.
47
00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:06,210
( sarcastically ):
Yeah, sure he will.
48
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,210
You know, I'm really sick of you
doing that.
49
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,720
'Cause if I say he's gonna be
here, he's gonna be here.
50
00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:13,220
As a matter of fact,
he left Paris on schedule,
51
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,720
landed in New York,
caught a shuttle to Boston
52
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,220
and is on Roy's next flight.
53
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,720
Which means he's gonna walk
through those doors
54
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,220
in three and a half
minutes.
55
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:22,730
( sarcastically ):
Yeah, sure he will.
56
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:25,730
Hey, Fay.
57
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,730
Uh, Joe said one of these lights
was on the fritz.
58
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:30,230
Oh, that one
in the corner, Lowell.
59
00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:33,240
Fay, what is this?
60
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,740
Oh, that's my rat.
61
00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:37,740
I kidnapped her
from the Psychology lab.
62
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,250
Okay.
63
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:44,250
Get away clean now, or--?
Oh, what the hell? Go ahead.
64
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,750
Well, my instructor promised
that she would only be used
65
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,750
for a few harmless experiments.
66
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,250
But he lied.
67
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:52,260
Ah, they always lie.
68
00:02:52,260 --> 00:02:55,760
First they suck you in
with the free milk and cookies.
69
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,260
Next thing you know, you're
running naked through a maze.
70
00:03:01,270 --> 00:03:03,270
Well, Fay,
it is not staying in my office.
71
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,270
These things
are gross.
72
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:05,770
A rat.
73
00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:08,770
What do the people
in coach get?
74
00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:10,770
Oh, no, listen,
please, Joe.
75
00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:12,280
If I take her
back to school,
76
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,280
they're going
to hurt her.
77
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,780
And I-- I've grown
attached to her.
78
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:16,780
She's become almost
like my colleague.
79
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,280
And you don't wanna
see harm come to a colleague.
80
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,290
Generally
speaking.
81
00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:24,790
Besides, how many times
do we have to prove
82
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:27,790
that when an animal receives
a shock for doing something
83
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,790
it learns
not to do it again?
84
00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:33,300
( electricity zapping )
( groans )
85
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,800
One more time.
86
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,800
( electricity zapping )
( groans )
87
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,800
One more time.
88
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,800
( electricity zapping )
( groans )
89
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,810
Eh, you see, Joe?
90
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:44,310
That could be
happening to her.
91
00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:46,310
Oh, please let me
keep her here.
92
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:49,310
All right, all right. But just
don't let the passengers see it.
93
00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:50,820
Oh, look at her.
She's sweet.
94
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:52,820
Oh, oh,
she's licking my finger.
95
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,320
I think she likes me.
96
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,320
Maybe it's just how rats
show professional courtesy.
97
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:00,320
You can tease me
all you want,
98
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,830
but I called
the hotel
99
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:03,330
and Davis confirmed
his reservation.
100
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,830
He'll be here.
101
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,830
( sarcastically ):
Yeah, sure he will.
102
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,830
( gasps lightly )
Davis.
103
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:13,340
"Yeah, sure he will."
104
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,340
Helen!
( laughing )
105
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:16,840
Wait a second.
106
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,840
Didn't you used to be
a redhead?
107
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:22,350
Wow, you've put on
a lot of weight.
108
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:24,350
And I thought
you were taller.
109
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:26,850
You know, I-I-- I remember you
being a much better dresser.
110
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,350
Gee, I'm not
attracted to you at all.
111
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,850
Me neither.
What were we thinking?
112
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:31,360
Beats me.
113
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:37,860
Oh, what is that?
Witty banter?
114
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:41,370
Pfft! Helen's not witty,
what the hell's he done to her?
115
00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:43,370
So look who I found.
116
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,370
Hi.
DAVIS: Hi. Heh-heh!
117
00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:46,370
So, what do you
wanna do?
118
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:48,870
First off, I'm gonna
take you out to lunch.
119
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:51,380
As a matter of fact,
why don't I take everybody?
120
00:04:51,380 --> 00:04:53,880
It'll give us a chance
to get to know each other.
121
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:54,880
Great idea.
I'm in.
122
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,380
Uh, I'll pass.
Look, Joe,
123
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,880
I know I'm not exactly
your favorite person.
124
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,390
No, I never said that.
125
00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:02,890
Boy, I would have.
126
00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:04,390
I didn't invest
in your business,
127
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:05,390
I'm dating
your old girlfriend.
128
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:07,390
I'd hate my guts.
129
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,390
Well, maybe we do have
something in common.
130
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,900
Come on, Joe.
Be nice to him.
131
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,900
You know how long it took for
Helen to find a new boyfriend.
132
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:22,910
Come on, Joe, please.
I want you two to be friends.
133
00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:23,910
All right, okay,
134
00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:25,410
but, uh, you don't
have to buy me lunch.
135
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:26,910
I'll buy you lunch.
136
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,910
Uh, as a matter of fact,
I'll buy everybody lunch.
137
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:30,910
Terrific.
138
00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:32,920
Say, Helen, do you mind
if we stop off at the hotel?
139
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,420
I wanna dump my bags.
140
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:35,920
Sure.
I'll meet you out there.
141
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,420
All right.
Hey, listen, uh,
142
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,920
I-I know you
wanted to buy us lunch,
143
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,420
and Joe
stole your thunder.
144
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,430
But, uh, if it'll
make you feel any better,
145
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:44,430
I'd be willing to take
the cash equivalent.
146
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:47,930
Joe, that was
very generous of you.
147
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:50,430
And I know it wasn't easy.
Thank you very much.
148
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:51,440
It's harder
than you think.
149
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,440
How much you need?
Fifty oughta do it.
150
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:57,440
( upbeat piano theme playing )
151
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,450
So you don't mind if I jump
in the shower real quick?
152
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,450
I just need
to wake up.
153
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:10,960
Okay, sure, no problem.
Great.
154
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:15,460
Heh! Can you believe
how transparent that guy is?
155
00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:16,960
HELEN:
Ugh! Joe.
156
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,960
No, hey, I came up here
with a good attitude.
157
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,470
But come on, the only reason
he brought us here
158
00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:23,470
is to show off
his fancy hotel room.
159
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,470
Oh, please.
Well, what does he need it for?
160
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:26,970
He's here for one night.
All he needs
161
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,470
is a bed, a blanket
and a toilet.
162
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:32,480
He's not doing time, Joe.
163
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,480
I mean, really, does he think
anyone's gonna be impressed
164
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,980
by all this?
( door opens )
165
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,980
Wow, would you look
at this place?
166
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,980
Woo!
167
00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:42,490
It's gorgeous.
Man, tell me.
168
00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:44,490
Look at this.
Fireplace, antiques,
169
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:46,990
great view, eh--
Whoa! Hello.
170
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,990
The honor bar.
171
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:53,000
Ho-ho! Oh, baby.
I-I-- I love this.
172
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,500
Seventeen-fifty
for macadamia nuts.
173
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,500
Now, that's obscene.
What kind of sucker
174
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,000
would pay that kind of money
for junk food?
175
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,010
DAVIS:
Help yourself to anything
you want out there!
176
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:04,510
Yo, Brian,
toss me those nuts.
177
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,510
Wow,
feel this leather.
178
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,510
This thing must have
cost a fortune.
179
00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:11,520
You know, you can tell
an awful lot about a person
180
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,020
from what's
in their suitcase.
181
00:07:13,020 --> 00:07:14,020
Hey, Brian, don't.
182
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,520
Oh, come on, Helen.
Here, look at this.
183
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,520
Check this out.
Cashmere sweaters.
184
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,020
Means he's got money.
185
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:21,020
Armani ties.
He's got taste.
186
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,030
Tell you what else
he's got.
187
00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:26,030
Way too much time
on his hands.
188
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:28,030
Put that back. Just--
Oh, come on. Hey, Joey, Joey.
189
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,530
Check this stuff out. Lookit.
JOE: Not now.
190
00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:31,040
I got a thirst
than can only be quenched
191
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:34,540
by an $8 can
of orange juice.
192
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:37,540
Step aside, I wanna see what
other toys he brought with him.
193
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,540
Brian, this is private.
Now, stop it.
194
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:40,540
Come on, Helen.
195
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:42,050
It's like going
to somebody's apartment
196
00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:44,550
and peeking in the medicine
cabinet. Everybody does it.
197
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:47,050
Eh, you looked
in my medicine cabinet?
198
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,050
Yes. And you have
some lip gloss to explain.
199
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:52,060
Come on, Helen, aren't you
at least a bit curious?
200
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:54,560
No, not at all.
Oh, of course you are.
201
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,560
Listen,
we can hear the shower.
202
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,560
When it cuts off, we'll give you
the eye sign.
203
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,060
Cover me,
I'm going in.
204
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:04,070
There's really not
anything special in here.
205
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:07,570
Just shirts
and sweaters and shoe--
206
00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:12,580
Ooh. He brought me
a present. Hee-hee!
207
00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:14,580
Helen,
you shouldn't open that.
208
00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:16,080
Yes,
I'm gonna open it.
209
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,580
That way I know how to
reciprocate, you know?
210
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,080
Cover my butt.
211
00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:25,590
Well, that's really
not gonna do it.
212
00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:28,590
( upbeat piano theme playing )
213
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:34,600
( upbeat piano theme playing )
214
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,100
Oh, God,
I hope this is not for me.
215
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:40,100
Maybe he bought it
for another woman. Bastard.
216
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:44,610
Or maybe it's for him,
the bitch.
217
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,610
Come on,
he came here to see you.
218
00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:50,610
This was
in his suitcase.
219
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,620
And who else could it be for?
220
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:54,120
Maybe there's something else
that goes with it.
221
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,120
I believe you're supposed
to have what goes with it.
222
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,620
( water stops running )
223
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,120
Shhh.
224
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,630
He turned the shower off.
225
00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:03,130
Get it in there.
226
00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:06,130
I think this tissue was more...
No, the label was on top.
227
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,630
( indistinct arguing )
228
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,140
Uh-oh.
229
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,150
( blow dryer humming )
He's drying his hair. Quick.
230
00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:32,660
Wasn't that suitcase open?
231
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,160
Ahhh.
Sorry I took so long.
232
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,160
Hope you found something
to keep you busy.
233
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,170
We didn't find anything.
We were just sitting here.
234
00:09:43,170 --> 00:09:45,670
We barely moved.
235
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:49,170
Well, somebody sure got
into something over here.
236
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:50,670
Brian,
I told you not to--
237
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:52,680
Me? It was Joe. He made her,
and you-- You--
238
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,680
( indistinct shouting )
Hey, hey, hey!
239
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,180
You don't have to apologize.
240
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,180
It's just
a jar of nuts.
241
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,180
And a can
of orange juice.
242
00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:05,690
Good thing the bed
was bolted down.
243
00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:08,190
Oh, by the way,
Helen, um, I made reservations,
244
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,690
but I thought maybe it'd be
a bit more romantic
245
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:12,200
if we just had dinner
right here in the room tonight.
246
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,700
If that's okay.
247
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:14,700
Yeah,
that'd be fine.
248
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:15,700
Great.
249
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:17,700
( door closes )
250
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,200
Dinner in a room,
251
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,200
flimsy little teddy.
252
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,710
Your salad's gonna be wearing
more dressing than you are.
253
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:28,710
( upbeat piano theme playing )
254
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,720
Go on,
say hello, Antonio.
255
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:36,720
Go on, Cupcake,
say hello.
256
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,720
Ah, I think you're putting
too much pressure on her.
257
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:43,230
Oh, give me a break.
I know she can't talk.
258
00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:46,230
No, your beefy mitts are
squeezing the life out of her.
259
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,230
Oh, don't you worry.
260
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:51,740
I'd never let anything happen
to my furry little Cupcake.
261
00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:53,740
Yes. Ho-ho-ho!
262
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,240
I'm looking
for Fay Cochran.
263
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,240
I'm Professor Lawson,
her Psychology instructor.
264
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,240
Wait a second.
265
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,750
Aren't you the guy that made me
run naked through a maze?
266
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,750
Don't know what you're
talking about--
267
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,250
I'm not gonna tell you
where Fay is.
268
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,250
She happens to be one
of my dearest friends.
269
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:12,260
If you're here to give that
lovely, caring woman problems,
270
00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:13,760
you're gonna have to
go through me.
271
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,260
Ms. Cochran has stolen
university property.
272
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,760
Now, if you don't tell me where
she is,
273
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,760
I'll have you arrested
as well.
274
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,270
Fay? Company.
275
00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:26,270
Oh, uh,
Professor Lawson.
276
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,270
Are you flying
with us today?
277
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,770
Ms. Cochran,
you know why I'm here.
278
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:34,280
As I said on the phone, if you
don't hand over the animal,
279
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,280
I'm going to have to call
the police.
280
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,280
No.
Miss Cochran.
281
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,280
Well, how would you like it
if somebody stuck you in a cage
282
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,290
and-- And gave you a shock every
time you made a wrong decision,
283
00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:46,790
like...
buying that jacket?
284
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:51,800
I-- I'm sorry,
but I refuse to give her back.
285
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,300
And you won't
change your mind.
286
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,800
No, I won't.
287
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,300
Well, then I have
only one thing to say.
288
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,300
Congratulations.
289
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,310
What?
290
00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:04,310
Ms. Cochran, this whole thing
has been an experiment
291
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:05,810
in human behavior.
292
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:07,810
When I told the class
the rats might be harmed,
293
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,810
you were the only one
who took action.
294
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,820
Really?
Yes.
295
00:12:11,820 --> 00:12:14,820
You're obviously
a very kindhearted,
296
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,820
highly-principled,
compassionate woman.
297
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,820
Well,
thank you very much.
298
00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,330
I mean, I-- I've often
been described
299
00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:25,830
as a little ray of sunshine.
300
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:29,830
Uh, so you're not going
to fry the little rodent?
301
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:30,830
Of course not.
302
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:33,340
She's a very valuable animal.
303
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:34,840
And brilliant too.
304
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,340
Did you know she can pick out
"The Itsy-Bitsy Spider"
305
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,840
on a touch-tone phone?
306
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:42,350
Oh, eh, just one second.
Roy.
307
00:12:42,350 --> 00:12:45,350
Good news. Your little Cupcake's
not in danger anymore.
308
00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:47,850
So you can give her back
to Professor Lawson.
309
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,350
Uh, it's too late.
310
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:50,850
I-- I heard him nosing around
out here,
311
00:12:50,850 --> 00:12:52,360
so I took her out
to the parking lot
312
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,860
and I let her go.
313
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,360
You what?
314
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,860
She was born free,
and she'll live free.
315
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:01,870
She wasn't born free.
She was born in a lab.
316
00:13:01,870 --> 00:13:03,370
Without that animal,
two years of research
317
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:04,870
goes down the drain.
318
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:08,870
This will hardly help
your grade, Miss Cochran.
319
00:13:08,870 --> 00:13:12,380
Oh, oh, then
thanks a lot, Roy.
320
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,880
( "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" playing
on touch-tone phone )
321
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,890
( chuckles )
322
00:13:21,890 --> 00:13:25,890
Oh, Cupcake,
that's beautiful.
323
00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:28,390
I can't believe he'd
give me a gift like that.
324
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:30,390
It's completely
inappropriate.
325
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,400
ALEX:
I know exactly
what Helen means.
326
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:33,400
It's too early in their
relationship
327
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,900
for him to give her
such an intimate gift.
328
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,400
You,
on the other hand,
329
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,900
are way overdue.
330
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:41,410
That's right.
When you're dating someone,
331
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,410
there's a specific order
to gift-giving.
332
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:45,410
First date: flowers.
Right?
333
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:48,910
Second date: stuffed animal.
No bigger than this.
334
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:51,920
Fourth date:
little more personal.
335
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:53,920
Keychain, perhaps.
336
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,420
Sixth date. All right, you're
getting to know each other.
337
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,920
Now you can get
a little more intimate.
338
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,420
Gloves.
339
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,430
She's not serious.
Oh, yes she is.
340
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:04,930
When we were dating, I screwed
up someplace around keychain,
341
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:08,430
I had to go all the way
back to flowers.
342
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,930
Why don't you just
put out a brochure:
343
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,440
The Do's and Don'ts
of Dating Helen ?
344
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:14,440
Oh, that's easy:
Don't.
345
00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:17,940
What are we
talking about?
346
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,440
How Helen's a little upset
because Lynch bought her
347
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,450
this flimsy
black lace teddy.
348
00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:23,950
I'm not gonna
sleep in it.
349
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,450
You're not supposed
to sleep in it.
350
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,450
You put it on, do a half gainer
off the headboard,
351
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,950
throw it in the corner
till morning.
352
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,960
I've, uh-- I've never
really gotten excited
353
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,960
from wearing
women's lingerie.
354
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,470
Wait a second,
Antonio. I think, heh--
355
00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:45,970
I think you got caught
in one of those language things.
356
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:46,970
Eh, what you meant to say
357
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,970
is that you never really
got excited
358
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:51,980
seeing women
wear lingerie.
359
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,480
Oh, yes, of course.
360
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,980
HELEN:
Anyway,
the point is,
361
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,490
Davis should not be thinking
about my lingerie yet.
362
00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:03,990
Wait a second.
But he's a guy.
363
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,490
Two minutes
after he met you
364
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:06,990
he was probably
picturing you naked.
365
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,490
That's what guys do.
366
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,490
I know that.
Girls do the same thing.
367
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:12,500
It's just that I feel
really stupid.
368
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,500
I thought our relationship
was special.
369
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:17,000
I thought we were growing
into something meaningful.
370
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,000
But all that teddy means
is he wants to get me into bed.
371
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,510
So, what
are you gonna do?
372
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:23,510
Well, I have no choice.
All I can do
373
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:25,010
is throw it in his face
and break up with him.
374
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:27,010
Don't you think
that's a little drastic?
375
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,010
He hasn't even
given it to you yet.
376
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:30,510
Exactly. I mean,
what are you gonna tell him?
377
00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:32,020
"Now, I was snooping through
your luggage,
378
00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:34,020
"and I saw a present that
didn't have my name on it,
379
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,520
so I opened it up"?
380
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,520
Good point.
381
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,520
All right.
382
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,020
I'll go to dinner
with him,
383
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:43,030
wait till the little pig boy
makes his move,
384
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:45,530
then I'll throw it in his face
and break up with him.
385
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:48,030
Sounds like
an evening.
386
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,530
( upbeat theme playing )
387
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,540
( upbeat piano theme playing )
388
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,540
DAVIS:
More champagne?
389
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,550
Oh, no,
thank you.
390
00:16:02,550 --> 00:16:03,550
Okay.
391
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:09,550
Well, this sure beats some
crowded, stuffy restaurant, huh?
392
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:13,060
Yes, it's quite lovely.
Thank you.
393
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:14,560
Hm.
394
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,060
Helen, is--?
Is something wrong?
395
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:20,060
You've seemed a bit...
uh...uh...
396
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:22,070
Oh, what's the word
I'm looking for?
397
00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:24,070
Icy?
398
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:27,070
Have I?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
399
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,070
I know what's wrong.
400
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,070
You think I went
all the way to Paris
401
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:33,580
and didn't bring back
a gift for you.
402
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:36,080
No, actually, I'd be
real surprised if you didn't.
403
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,080
( chuckles )
404
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,080
Well,
you don't have to worry.
405
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,080
Now, this is just
a little something.
406
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,590
Trust me,
it's not much.
407
00:16:42,590 --> 00:16:44,590
Ain't that the truth.
408
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:47,090
I hope
I chose correctly.
409
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,590
You're not the easiest person
in the world to shop for.
410
00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:51,090
See,
that's where you're wrong.
411
00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:52,600
I'm very easy to shop for.
412
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,100
I mean, a little stuffed animal
would have been perfect.
413
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,100
No bigger than this.
414
00:16:57,100 --> 00:17:00,600
Well, I'll-- I'll
remember that for next time.
415
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,110
I hope you like it.
416
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:03,610
Oh, just give it to me.
417
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:09,110
Now, if you don't like it,
promise me you'll tell me.
418
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,110
Oh, I'll promise.
419
00:17:11,110 --> 00:17:14,120
You know, I really wish
you hadn't done this, Davis.
420
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,620
I mean, it really
is uncomfortable for me
421
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,120
to know that you think
I'm the kind of person
422
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,620
that you can give a gift
like...
423
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:22,130
soap.
424
00:17:22,130 --> 00:17:24,630
They're hand-carved in the shape
of little instruments.
425
00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:26,630
The moment I saw it,
I thought of you.
426
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,630
Soap?
427
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:33,140
Soap.
428
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,640
He got me soap.
429
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,640
You know, I waited
all evening for him
430
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,640
to spring that teddy on me
and he never did.
431
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,150
Damn him,
he was a perfect gentleman.
432
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:45,150
You know, Helen,
433
00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:47,650
French soap
is not such a bad gift.
434
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,150
Yeah, maybe for Christmas he'll
give you
435
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:51,660
a bottle of mouthwash
and a stick of deodorant.
436
00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:54,160
Wait, wait, wait.
437
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,660
I don't understand.
438
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:58,660
Uh, you're mad because he gave
you a gift you did not want?
439
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,160
No, he gave me
a perfectly nice gift.
440
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,670
Ah, I see. So, so,
441
00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:05,670
you're mad because he did not
give you a gift you did want.
442
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:08,670
No, I'm mad 'cause he
didn't give me the teddy.
443
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:09,670
But-- But-- But-- But-- Heh-heh!
444
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:11,170
Thought you did not
want the teddy.
445
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:12,680
I didn't.
So you didn't get it,
446
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,180
so you should be happy, but
you're not, you're furious.
447
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:19,180
Exactly.
I've got to get off this ride.
448
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:20,180
Helen, face it.
449
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:22,190
He bought the teddy
for someone else.
450
00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:23,690
Thanks for the news flash,
Joe.
451
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:25,190
Don't you think
it occurred to me?
452
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:27,190
I just feel
so stupid.
453
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,190
I thought we had
a real relationship,
454
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,190
but he probably has a girl
in every port,
455
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:33,200
one of whom is getting
my damn teddy.
456
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,200
This guy
cannot win.
457
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,700
First you're mad at him because
he wants you to be dirty.
458
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,210
Now you're mad at him because
he wants you to be clean?
459
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:45,210
So, what are you gonna do?
460
00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:46,710
What else can I do?
I'm gonna break up with him.
461
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,710
Look, Helen,
if you're gonna dump the guy,
462
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:49,710
do it for the right reason:
463
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,210
'Cause he's an idiot.
464
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:53,720
Not over some
silly misunderstanding.
465
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,220
Look,
I'll be honest with you.
466
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:58,220
I have no idea
what you see in that guy,
467
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:01,220
but if you see something worth
saving, then save it.
468
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:04,230
You think
I'm overreacting?
469
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,230
Oh, just a little.
470
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:10,230
Yeah, I mean, it's not like you
have an exclusive relationship.
471
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:12,240
BRIAN:
Right, don't forget, up until
two days ago
472
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,740
this guy
was Mr. Perfect.
473
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,240
Helen.
474
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,240
Just for the record,
475
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,240
I want you to know that I think
Davis is a wonderful guy.
476
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,250
I think the two of you
make a beautiful couple.
477
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,250
Thanks, Lowell.
478
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:26,750
You know
what I just realized?
479
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,250
It's true
what they say.
480
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:32,260
Nostrils
are the windows to the soul.
481
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,760
Bye, Lowell.
Bye.
482
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,760
You know,
you guys are right.
483
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,260
I am overreacting.
484
00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,260
I mean,
that is none of my business.
485
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,270
I'm gonna forget this whole
thing ever happened,
486
00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:45,770
and I'm gonna forget I ever saw
that stupid teddy.
487
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,770
Oh, hi, Davis.
488
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:50,770
Uh, just...
came back to say goodbye.
489
00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:52,780
Oh, Davis,
is it that time already?
490
00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:53,780
DAVIS:
Yeah, I'm afraid so.
491
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,280
But I'll get back
just as soon as I can.
492
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,280
If you...want me to.
493
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,280
Yes, of course I do.
494
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,280
Well, it was nice
seeing you all again.
495
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,290
Take care.
BRIAN: Bye.
496
00:20:02,290 --> 00:20:04,290
So long.
497
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,790
Listen, I-I know I wasn't
very good company last night,
498
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:07,790
but I just wanted to tell you
499
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,290
that I really appreciate
your gift.
500
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:12,300
That was very sweet.
Oh. Well, sure.
501
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,300
Helen,
what are you doing?!
502
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,300
Give me that. I can't take this
another minute.
503
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,300
Helen. Don't take--
504
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,300
Oh, don't play coy with me.
I know what's in here.
505
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,810
What the--?
That's my underwear.
506
00:20:22,810 --> 00:20:24,810
I'm not talking
about your underwear.
507
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:27,810
I'm talking about this.
What is this?
508
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,810
If I'm soap,
who the hell is silk?
509
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:33,320
31
and still single.
510
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,320
( chuckles )
511
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,320
I wonder why.
512
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,820
All right, who's it for? Who's
this for? Come on.
513
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:41,820
Oh, Helen,
this is really awkward.
514
00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:43,330
Oh, yes,
I bet it is.
515
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:44,830
Who's it for?
516
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:47,830
Oh, all right.
517
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,830
It's for you.
518
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:51,830
( scoffs )
No, it is.
519
00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:53,840
Helen, I-- I...
520
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,840
I saw it in Paris
and it...
521
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,840
It was so beautiful.
I wanted you to have it.
522
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,340
But then I realized,
it's too soon for me to give you
523
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,850
a gift like that.
524
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,350
So I decided to wait.
525
00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:07,850
Really?
Well, yeah.
526
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,850
There-- There's a protocol
to gift-giving.
527
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:12,360
I-I didn't wanna rush it.
528
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:16,360
So, um, when were you planning
on giving it to me?
529
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:21,360
I don't know. Probably
somewhere around date ten or 12?
530
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,370
Right after
monogrammed stationary?
531
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,870
Yeah, but before
precious metals.
532
00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:27,370
Oh, Davis.
533
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,870
Just one thing,
Helen.
534
00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:32,880
How'd you even know
it was in my suitcase?
535
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,880
( upbeat piano theme playing )
536
00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:55,400
( upbeat piano theme playing )
36885
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof