Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:04,090
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:08,090
Uhh, Helen...
3
00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:09,590
I was wondering...
4
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:11,100
Do you have any plans
for Christmas?
5
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:12,600
Oh, yes.
6
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,100
Right after the children's
Christmas party tomorrow night,
7
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:17,100
I'm going to New York
to see Davis.
8
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,100
We're gonna go ice skating
in Central Park,
9
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,610
a horse-drawn carriage
down 5th Avenue,
10
00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:23,610
dinner at Tavern on the Green,
11
00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:25,110
and then we're going to
the Lincoln Center
12
00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:26,110
to see The Nutcracker.
13
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:27,110
So, what about you?
14
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,110
Oh, uhh, I have plans.
Uhh..
15
00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:31,620
I'm going to watch
16
00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:33,620
Charlie Brown's
A Very Snoopy Christmas.
17
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,620
Oh, well that sounds
nice too.
18
00:00:41,630 --> 00:00:44,630
And then, I think
I'll kill myself.
19
00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:54,140
Hey, what are you doing?
Oh, there you are.
20
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:56,140
Look, uhh...
21
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:59,140
I-I don't have any plans
for Christmas,
22
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,650
and I was wondering
what you're doing.
23
00:01:01,650 --> 00:01:05,150
In exactly...
22 hours and 44 minutes,
24
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:07,650
Alex and I are going to be
making our way
25
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,650
to a romantic little cottage
in Vermont,
26
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:12,660
where we will drink champagne,
exchange gifts,
27
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:16,160
and then proceed to unwrap...
each other.
28
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,670
I think I would feel
out of place.
29
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,670
Just got off the phone
with my mom.
30
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:27,670
Yeah.
31
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:28,670
Turns out all four
of my brothers
32
00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:31,680
were able to get holiday leave
from Fort Benning.
33
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,180
Means I'll be the only one who
won't be there for Christmas.
34
00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:35,680
Oh, baby, baby, baby.
35
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,180
I know exactly what
you're thinking,
36
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,180
and I'll tell ya
what we'll do.
37
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:40,180
When we get to Vermont,
38
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:42,190
we'll just send them
a nice can of syrup.
39
00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:47,690
Or, the two of us
could go to Florida.
40
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,690
Give you a chance to meet
my whole family.
41
00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:51,200
( laughs )
42
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,200
She's funny, she's funny.
43
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,700
You already told them
we were coming, didn't you?
44
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,210
They're meeting us
at the airport.
45
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:03,210
You're the best.
46
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,710
Okay, so... no, no,
it's fine, it's fine.
47
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:11,220
Instead of cavorting on
a satin-covered bed with Alex,
48
00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:12,220
I'll be, uhh...
49
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,720
in a Tallahassee
retirement village,
50
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,720
sleeping on an Army cot
next to her brother Duane
51
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,720
and his collection
of enemy teeth.
52
00:02:21,730 --> 00:02:25,230
All right, Helen,
time for a status report.
53
00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:26,730
Did you bake the cookies?
54
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,230
Yes, I did.
55
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,230
Uhh, did you get the egg nog?
56
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,740
Yes, I did.
57
00:02:31,740 --> 00:02:34,240
Did you take the strawberries
out to thaw?
58
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,240
Yes, I did.
59
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,240
Am I sensing an attitude here?
60
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,240
Yes, you are.
61
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:44,750
Helen, Helen, Helen,
you don't seem to understand
62
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:46,750
the importance of
this Christmas party.
63
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,750
Fay, just relax,
it's gonna be fine.
64
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,250
Fine isn't good enough.
65
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:51,260
It has to be better than
66
00:02:51,260 --> 00:02:53,260
the party Edna Pillit
threw last year.
67
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:55,760
Now, I thought we were
throwing this
68
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,260
to see smiles on
the little children's faces.
69
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,260
Who?
70
00:03:01,270 --> 00:03:02,770
Fay, the children,
71
00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:04,270
the people we're having
the party for.
72
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:05,770
Oh yeah, them.
73
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:11,280
Hey, Roy, look at this.
74
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,780
Is that not a great tree?
75
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:18,280
I-I don't know what it is,
the shape, the size.
76
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,280
There's just something about it,
I love this tree.
77
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:21,290
You two wanna be alone?
78
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,290
Hey, look, I just happen
to think that
79
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:25,790
the tree is the most
important part of Christmas.
80
00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:30,290
I couldn't agree more, Hackett,
that is why I got this baby.
81
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:32,300
( "Deck the Halls" playing )
82
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,300
I can't wait to see
the look on Mom's face
83
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,800
when I bring her this
at the home.
84
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,310
You're giving that cheesy thing
to your mother?
85
00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:42,810
Don't worry,
with Mom's eyesight,
86
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:44,810
she'll think it's the tree
at Rockefeller Center.
87
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,310
Ho, ho, ho.
88
00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:52,320
Ho-ho, ho, ho, ho.
89
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:53,820
Ho-ho-ho.
90
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,320
Lowell?
91
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,320
What-what are you doing?
92
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,820
Well, I agreed to play
Santa Claus
93
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:02,330
for the big
Christmas party, so,
94
00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:04,330
I'm trying to get under the skin
of this Claus guy,
95
00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:05,830
see what makes him tick.
96
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,330
Hey, do you have any plans
for Christmas Eve?
97
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:13,840
No. I have no plans.
I'm totally available.
98
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,340
Great. 'Cause I need someone
to play the dumb elf.
99
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,840
At least it's something to do.
100
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,340
Okay.
101
00:04:21,850 --> 00:04:23,350
Hi, Lowell.
102
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,350
Hi, Antonio.
Hi, Bunny.
103
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:25,850
Bunny.
104
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,850
I didn't know you were
coming over here for Christmas.
105
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,850
Well, my friend Susie's
getting married tonight,
106
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:31,360
and I'm a bridesmaid.
107
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,360
Fine. Isn't that something?
108
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,360
Ol' Susie actually managed
to land somebody.
109
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,360
You'd never expect it, what with
the spindly little legs
110
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,370
and that big banana head
of hers.
111
00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:43,870
Yeah, she's not exactly
the pick of the litter.
112
00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:47,870
I wonder why I'm not invited
to the wedding.
113
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,870
Susie and her fiancé figured
since we're divorced
114
00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:52,880
it wouldn't be appropriate
for you to be there.
115
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,380
Right, right.
Who's she marrying?
116
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:55,880
You cousin Larry.
117
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,380
Well, I gotta go.
118
00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,880
Merry Christmas.
119
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:08,890
( over radio ):
God rest ye merry, Gentleman,
Let nothing you dismay
120
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,390
WOMAN:
Taxi!
121
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:13,900
--Christ our Savior
Was born on Christmas day
122
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,900
Hi, Bunny.
123
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,900
Antonio.
124
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,410
Boy, what are the chances of
hailing a cab and getting you?
125
00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:23,910
On this island,
about one in four.
126
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:26,910
So, where can I take you, Bunny?
127
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,910
To the Harbor House.
128
00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:32,920
So, how was
your friend's wedding?
129
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,920
Oh, it was beautiful.
130
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,920
And I was the most popular girl
in the reception line.
131
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,920
One of her uncles came back
three times.
132
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,430
I guess he was overcome
by emotion.
133
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,930
Nah, he was blitzed.
134
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,930
You know, it feels really weird,
me sitting way back here,
135
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:52,440
and you up there.
136
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,940
Well, now that you mention it,
it does kind of feel like
137
00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:57,440
I'm "driving Miss Bunny."
138
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,950
Why don't I just pull over,
and then you could come...
139
00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,950
Or you could just
hurdle the front seat.
140
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:10,960
Oh, Christmas.
141
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:12,460
It's such a wonderful
time of year, isn't it?
142
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:14,460
Oh, it's magical.
143
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:16,960
Making angels in the snow.
144
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,460
Listening to carolers.
145
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,460
Decorating the tree.
146
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:21,970
Watching It's a Wonderful Life.
147
00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:24,970
Being downtown with all
the lights and the decorations
148
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,970
and seeing all the...
149
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:30,970
happy couples walking
hand in hand.
150
00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:32,980
Sitting alone at Midnight Mass.
151
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,980
Opening the Christmas present
you bought for yourself,
152
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,480
and trying to look surprised.
153
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,990
Watching It's a Wonderful Life,
again.
154
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:46,990
Wondering why Jimmy Stewart
didn't jump off that bridge.
155
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:51,500
I hate Christmas.
156
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,000
It sucks.
157
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,000
( crying )
158
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,000
Don't cry, Bunny.
159
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,500
Don't cry.
I'm sorry.
160
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,500
I probably...
161
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:03,010
I probably just had
too much champagne.
162
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:06,510
No, it's not the champagne.
163
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,510
It's the holidays.
164
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,510
Sometimes they're just
so depressing.
165
00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:10,510
Yeah, I know.
166
00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:14,020
They are supposed to
make us feel so joyful,
167
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:17,020
but if we don't have loved ones
to share them with,
168
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,520
then all of the joy
turns into a sadness.
169
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,030
That is so deep.
170
00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:26,530
A man in a cab has
a lot of time to think.
171
00:07:29,030 --> 00:07:30,030
Thanks for listening to me.
172
00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:31,540
Ah, it's my pleasure.
173
00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:35,040
And look at that,
mistletoe.
174
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,540
( both chuckle )
175
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,040
And it's also
an air freshener.
176
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,550
( both sniff )
177
00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:45,550
Merry Christmas, Antonio.
178
00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:47,050
Merry Christmas, Bunny.
179
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,550
( both laugh )
180
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:02,070
Joy to the world
The Lord has come
181
00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:05,070
Let Earth receive her King
182
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,580
Aside from the fact that
that Christmas tree
183
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:21,090
looks like a tumbleweed,
I thought I gave you
184
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,090
specific instructions
to have it placed downstairs.
185
00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:26,090
Fay, I thought that
it was tradition
186
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,090
that we placed it upstairs.
187
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,090
You thought.
188
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:31,600
Well, let me explain something.
189
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,100
A party is like
Santa's sleigh;
190
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:36,600
only one reindeer can be
in the front,
191
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,600
or the sleigh will
veer off course.
192
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,610
That's why I'm in charge.
193
00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:45,110
You and Joe
are Donner and Blitzen.
194
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:47,610
I'm Rudolf.
195
00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:52,620
I'm the one
with the big red nose.
196
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,120
I'd like to give you
a big red nose.
197
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,620
Suckin' all the joy
out of Christmas.
198
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:02,630
Wish Santa's sleigh
would run over you.
199
00:09:02,630 --> 00:09:04,630
I can't take this anymore,
can't wait til this stupid--
200
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,130
Change of plans, Joe.
201
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:09,130
Rudolf the red-nosed nutcase
wants the tree downstairs.
202
00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:13,640
I don't think it's well enough
to make the trip.
203
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,140
Wow, what happened to it?
It looked so good yesterday.
204
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,140
I don't know.
205
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,640
It took a turn for the worse
during the night.
206
00:09:22,150 --> 00:09:24,150
Guess we should get a new tree.
207
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,650
No, no, it'll be fine.
208
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,150
Joe, I think it's time.
209
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:32,160
Time for what?
210
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,660
To pull the plug.
211
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,160
You're right, it's probably
for the best.
212
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:46,170
( sighs )
213
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,670
You did the right thing,
Hackett.
214
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,180
If it had lived, it would've
been a total vegetable.
215
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,680
I'll go notify
it's next of kindling.
216
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:11,190
What are you doing up
at this time of night?
217
00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:12,700
Did you have another accident?
218
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,700
I needed pajamas, I wanted
to see if they would fit.
219
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,200
I can't very well walk around
220
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,200
Alex's parent's house
in my underwear, can I?
221
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,710
No, that would look silly.
222
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:28,710
Unlike a grown man with
little kitties on his jammies.
223
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,220
It's Christmas,
the pickins were really slim.
224
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:34,720
It was either these,
or these with feet.
225
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,720
Well, those are definitely you.
226
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:42,230
( sighs ):
I have to find
a new Christmas tree.
227
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:44,230
Why? What happened to the one
you bought yesterday?
228
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,230
I don't wanna talk about it.
229
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:52,240
Just so you know,
if my brothers see you in those,
230
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,740
they'll shave your head.
231
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:56,740
Look, Alex, I-I--
232
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,740
I'm kidding, they're cute.
233
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:00,740
Umm, listen,
I just came by to tell you
234
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:02,750
that Mom wants you
to play Tiny Tim
235
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:03,750
in the Christmas pageant.
236
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,750
The Christmas pageant?
237
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,250
Yeah, well after we
open up presents,
238
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,750
we act out A Christmas Carol
in the living room.
239
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:10,750
Oh.
We do it for my Dad.
240
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:11,760
( mumbling )
He loves it.
241
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:12,760
Listen, Alex, Alex.
242
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:13,760
Alex...
243
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,260
I've got a, umm, flight,
244
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,260
so I'll talk to you
in about an hour, okay?
245
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:20,760
( whines ):
I don't wanna play Tiny Tim.
246
00:11:21,770 --> 00:11:23,270
Well, what's the big deal?
247
00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:25,770
So you limp around
the living room a little.
248
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:28,270
No, man, it's not,
it's not just Tiny Tim.
249
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,770
I mean, it's-it's everything.
250
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:31,780
It's the look.
251
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,280
What look?
252
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,780
The look that's gonna be
in her father's eye
253
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,280
while he's shaking my hand
that says,
254
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,780
"I know you've been doing it
with my little girl."
255
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,790
Oh, good, you're both here.
256
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:46,290
I-I need to talk to you.
I've got a big problem.
257
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,790
Oh, really? Wait in line, 'cause
I got a problem of my own.
258
00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:52,300
I'm still stuck going to Alex's
parent's house for the holidays.
259
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:54,300
I've got two hours
to find a Christmas tree.
260
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:56,300
I slept with Bunny
in the back seat of my cab.
261
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,310
BOTH:
You win.
262
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,310
Wow, wow, wow, man.
You and Bunny, huh?
263
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:10,310
I know, I-I am scum,
I-I--
264
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:13,320
I am dirt,
I am lower then dirt.
265
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,820
I-I'm the dirt beneath dirt.
266
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,320
Antonio, these things happen.
267
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,820
I mean, you're only human,
and we are talking about Bunny.
268
00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:21,830
I know, but--
269
00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:24,330
I should've been stronger.
270
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:26,330
I should not have let her
sit so close.
271
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,830
I should not
have let her kiss me.
272
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:32,340
I-I should not have let her do
so many of the things she did...
273
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,340
so well...
274
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,340
But I-I mean,
how serious is this?
275
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:41,340
You're not thinking of seeing
any more of Bunny, are you?
276
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:45,850
Oh, no, no. We both agreed it
was just a one-time thing, but.
277
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:47,850
The guilt is eating me alive.
278
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,350
Hey, why don't you go
to confession,
279
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:50,850
that might make you
feel better.
280
00:12:50,850 --> 00:12:51,860
I already did.
281
00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:54,860
You know, I don't think
I'm the first person
282
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,360
to confess about Bunny.
283
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,860
When I mentioned her name,
the priest lowered my penance
284
00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:01,370
from 10 Hail Marys,
to four.
285
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,870
There's only one thing to do.
286
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,380
I-I must find Lowell, and admit
this terrible thing I've done.
287
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:16,380
Bad idea.
288
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,380
Antonio, Antonio, hold up,
man, hold up, hold up.
289
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,890
Listen, if you're not
gonna see Bunny anymore,
290
00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:24,390
then what's the point
of telling Lowell?
291
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:27,390
Yeah, you know how crazy
Lowell gets about Bunny.
292
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,890
If you really wanna be a friend,
don't tell him.
293
00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:31,400
You don't understand.
294
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:34,400
When Antonio Scarpacci
sleeps with another man's wife,
295
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,400
he tells him.
That is a friend.
296
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:45,910
I'm still wearing my pajamas,
aren't I?
297
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,920
Ah, ho, ho, ho.
There's my little elf.
298
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:01,930
Yeah, look,
Lowell...
299
00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:04,430
I-I am feeling so upset
right now--
300
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:05,930
I-I really need to talk to you.
301
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:07,930
Antonio, it's almost time
for the party.
302
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,430
Go put on your elf suit.
303
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:13,440
And do you know where Joe is
with the tree?
304
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,440
Ho, ho, ho. No I don't, Fay.
305
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,940
Can it, Lowell, I'm in no mood.
306
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:21,450
And where is everyone?
Where are the carolers?
307
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,450
Where are all the little kids?
308
00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:24,950
Helen, are you sure
you told them
309
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,950
the Christmas party
was tonight?
310
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,450
No, Fay, I told them
the Christmas party
311
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,950
was the Fourth of July.
312
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:31,960
Oh, aren't we droll?
313
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:34,460
And I think you'd better
take out
314
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:35,960
the other container
of strawberries.
315
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,960
There is no other container
of strawberries
316
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,460
What do you mean?
I bought it myself.
317
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:41,460
No, Fay,
you only bought one.
318
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:42,970
I don't recall that.
319
00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:45,970
Oh, Joe.
320
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:48,470
W-where's my Christmas tree?
321
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,470
Oh, Fay, I am so sorry.
322
00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:52,980
I looked everywhere,
and I promise you,
323
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:55,480
there is not a Christmas tree
left on this island.
324
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,480
Oh, won't Edna Pillit
have a field day with this.
325
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,480
I am so sick of hearing
that woman's name.
326
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,490
You want a tree?
I'll get you a damn tree.
327
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:05,490
Roy?
328
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:09,490
I need to borrow
your tree in a briefcase.
329
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:13,000
Oh, Hackett,
that's for my mom.
330
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,000
It's gonna make
her whole Christmas.
331
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,000
I'll give you 50 bucks.
332
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000
Deal.
333
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
I'll tell her
she slept through Christmas.
334
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:27,510
All right, Fay...
here it is.
335
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,010
( "Deck the Halls" playing )
336
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,020
Have a merry...
337
00:15:33,020 --> 00:15:36,020
portable, prefab,
plastic little Christmas.
338
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,520
Is it any wonder they call it
339
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,520
the most magical time
of the year.
340
00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:43,530
Oh...
341
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:48,530
Oh, Brian.
I'm all ready to go.
342
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:51,530
I can't wait to see the look
in Dad's eye when he meets you.
343
00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:54,540
Listen, Alex, there's something
I gotta say to you.
344
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:56,040
I can't go with you
to your parents.
345
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,540
Wh-why not?
346
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,540
The truth is...
347
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,050
my Aunt Martha broke her hip.
348
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,550
She was setting up
a Nativity scene,
349
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:09,050
and she tripped
and fell over a wise man.
350
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:15,060
How many more of these senseless
Nativity accidents
351
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:18,560
must we endure until they make
those things safe?
352
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,570
Why don't you just say it?
353
00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:26,570
You don't want to go
to my parents'.
354
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,570
( muffled ):
I don't wanna go
to you parents'.
355
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,070
I can't believe
you just said that.
356
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:32,580
Alex...
357
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:35,580
Announcing the departure of
Aeromass flight 19 to Boston.
358
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,580
And the arrival of a man
359
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:42,590
with absolutely
no self-respect whatsoever.
360
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,090
Oh, it's about time, Antonio.
361
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:51,600
Now come over here.
Stand right here.
362
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:55,100
And you can help the little
children climb onto Santa's lap.
363
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,600
What little children?
364
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,100
Don't start with me.
365
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,600
Nobody likes a smart-elf.
366
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:04,610
Okay, Lowell, Lowell.
367
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:07,110
Listen, I-I--
We have to talk.
368
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:10,110
I've been kicking myself
all day.
369
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:12,620
That would explain why
your shoes are curled up.
370
00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:13,620
( laughs )
371
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,120
Ho, ho, ho, there, Bunny.
Guess who?
372
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,120
Hi, Lowell.
373
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,120
Damn, she guessed it.
374
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,130
Hi, Antonio.
375
00:17:22,130 --> 00:17:23,630
( mumbles ):
Yeah, hi, how are you?
376
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,630
So, Bunny, did you have
a good time last night?
377
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:28,630
Oh, yeah. I had
a wonderful time last night.
378
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,630
( whimpering )
379
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,640
It was the best wedding
I've ever been to.
380
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,640
Well, Merry Christmas, Lowell.
381
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:35,640
Oh, Merry Christmas.
382
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,140
Merry Christmas, Antonio.
383
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:39,140
Yeah, Merry Christmas.
384
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,140
Bye.
385
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,150
Bye, Bunny.
386
00:17:42,150 --> 00:17:45,650
Lowell, listen. I have got to
get this off my chest.
387
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:48,150
Ho, ho, ho, welcome, children.
388
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,650
Now, come over here
and see Santa Claus.
389
00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:51,650
This is the big party?
390
00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:54,160
It sucks.
391
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,160
Why are you children so big?
392
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,170
You're supposed to be
much smaller.
393
00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:03,670
What are you doing here?
394
00:18:03,670 --> 00:18:05,170
Relax, granny.
395
00:18:05,170 --> 00:18:07,670
There was an invitation
up in the teen center.
396
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,170
The teen center?
397
00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:15,180
Helen, you were supposed to call
the children's center,
398
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,680
not the teen center.
399
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,680
You've ruined my party!
400
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,680
Fay, I just called the number
that you gave me.
401
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,190
I should've seen this coming.
402
00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:26,190
You've all been disloyal to me
from the start.
403
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:27,690
Fay, give it a rest.
404
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:31,190
Oh, I've tried to run
this party properly,
405
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:33,200
but you fought me
at every turn.
406
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,700
All of you, it was sabotage.
407
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:40,200
First Joe tried to make me look
foolish with the Christmas tree,
408
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,210
and then there were
the strawberries.
409
00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:43,710
Ah, the strawberries.
410
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:47,710
I-I know there were
two containers, not one.
411
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,710
And I'd have proved it,
if I had the time.
412
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,220
I could have...
413
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,220
I really could have.
414
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,220
Fay...
415
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,720
It's me, Helen.
416
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,230
It's time for me to
take over now.
417
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,730
I'm just gonna take
the clipboard...
418
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:08,730
No...
419
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:09,730
and let's end this.
420
00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:10,730
No, no, you can't have it,
421
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:12,240
I'm still in charge!
422
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,240
My clipboard!
423
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,240
Whoa...
Grandma's strokin' out.
424
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,740
So, uh, which one
of you boys
425
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:21,740
is gonna be the first
to hop up in ol' Santa's lap?
426
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:24,250
Get real, perv.
427
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:26,750
Oh, oh.
428
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,750
You think you're too old
for Santa Claus, is that it?
429
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,750
Well, you're never
too old for Santa.
430
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,760
Uhh, come here,
little dumb elf.
431
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,260
Uhh, hop up on Santa's lap.
432
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:38,760
Come on, Antonio,
get the ball rolling.
433
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,760
Now then, just tell
old Santa Claus
434
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,270
what you want for Christmas.
435
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:45,270
Forgiveness from God.
436
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,770
How about a train set?
437
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,280
But, but first,
you gotta tell Santa,
438
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,780
have you been naughty or nice?
439
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,780
Oh, no, Santa.
440
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,280
I-I've not been nice.
441
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,290
I've been very naughty.
442
00:20:02,290 --> 00:20:03,790
Uh, ho, ho, ho.
443
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:05,790
Uhh, it couldn't have been
that bad,
444
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:06,790
what'd you do?
445
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,290
I slept with the ex-Mrs. Claus.
446
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:13,800
Uhh, ho, ho--
Huh?
447
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:18,800
Last night, Bunny and I...
448
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,800
You and Bunny?
449
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,810
Lowell, let me explain.
450
00:20:22,810 --> 00:20:24,810
Alex, Alex, Alex,
I wanna go to your parents'.
451
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:26,810
It's too late,
I don't want you to go.
452
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:27,810
Good, 'cause I was lying,
453
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:28,810
I don't wanna go.
Oh, another lie.
454
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,810
No, it's my party,
455
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:33,320
and it's not over
til I say it's over.
456
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,820
Hey, hey, hey...
457
00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:35,820
Where you going with that?
458
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:36,820
Look, you're not gonna need it.
459
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,820
( indistinct arguing )
460
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,320
( singing in distance )
461
00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:46,830
Round yon Virgin Mother
And Child
462
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,330
( arguing gets quiet )
463
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:54,340
Holy Infant so tender
And mild
464
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:59,840
Sleep in Heavenly peace
465
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:06,350
Sleep in Heavenly peace
466
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:14,360
( indistinct yelling )
467
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,860
We wish you
A Merry Christmas
468
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,360
We wish you
A Merry Christmas
469
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,370
We wish you
A Merry Christmas
470
00:21:22,370 --> 00:21:25,370
And a Happy New Year
471
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:42,890
( piano theme playing )
31765
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof