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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,159 Come on, honey, 2 00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,031 give Daddy the blanket. 3 00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:33,685 Listen, this is gonna be 4 00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,818 a real fun party with lots of cake and ice cream, 5 00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:38,386 but little girls with wet blankets can't go. 6 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:40,301 Now give it to Daddy. 7 00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:45,436 Do this-- leave the blanket here, 8 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,742 I'll advance you all of your allowance 9 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,396 till you're 40. Fair enough? 10 00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:54,141 There is no way that that blanket is going in this car. 11 00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:55,229 Mom! 12 00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:56,795 No, no, no. Not this time. 13 00:00:56,882 --> 00:01:00,582 This is a brand new $25,000 BMW 325 e.5 14 00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:01,583 with leather interior. 15 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,541 Tom, it's just a car. 16 00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:06,414 Oh, come on, I just Armor-alled the seats. 17 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,335 [indistinct chatter in Chinese] 18 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,210 Got any 8s? 19 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,213 Go fish. 20 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,867 Why does it always take her so long? 21 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:29,045 Just think of her as a work in progress. 22 00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:30,699 Ah! 23 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,657 Do I look all right? 24 00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:34,311 Do stars twinkle? 25 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,878 Come on, sweetheart, your bike awaits. 26 00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:37,314 Have you ever tried putting pantyhose on 27 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:38,794 -With wet nails? -It's a bitch. 28 00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:40,622 I forgot my sample case. 29 00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,580 Oh, come on, Tish, we're gonna be late. 30 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,321 We are late. 31 00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:47,411 [woman] Be careful. 32 00:01:47,498 --> 00:01:49,283 [aggressive honking] 33 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,762 Tom. 34 00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,242 Get out of the road, you...! 35 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,161 Be careful, Tom! 36 00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:03,210 Yay! 37 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:08,215 [church bell rings] 38 00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,260 Come on. Come on. 39 00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:14,090 [joyful screams] 40 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:16,745 Congratulations, Mama. 41 00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:19,617 Oh, wasn't it a beautiful sermon? 42 00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:20,749 Beautiful. 43 00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:21,750 Beautiful. 44 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,360 Oh, no! 45 00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:25,580 It means fertility, God forbid... 46 00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:38,245 ♪ Ba ba ba ba ba bamba ♪ 47 00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,248 ♪ Ba ba ba ba ba bamba ♪ 48 00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:44,381 ♪ This great song with This wonderful rhythm ♪ 49 00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:48,777 ♪ It's a wonderful rhythm, And you can feel it ♪ 50 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,431 ♪ You know what I'm saying ♪ 51 00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:53,390 ♪ Yes, you know What I'm saying ♪ 52 00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:54,870 ♪ Come on and dance ♪ 53 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,612 ♪ Come on and dance, Come on and dance ♪ 54 00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,614 ♪ When the stars Meet the heavens ♪ 55 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,356 ♪ When the stars Meet the heavens ♪ 56 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,314 ♪ The sky will shine ♪ 57 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,274 ♪ And all night long, The sky will shine... ♪ 58 00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:10,538 Bad tits. 59 00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:15,412 No ass. 60 00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:16,457 Yeah. 61 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,806 So, Tom, 62 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,416 you still selling Subarus? 63 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:20,809 How many times I gotta tell you, Kirby? 64 00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,463 I sell BMWs. 65 00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,726 I just happen to work out of a Subaru showroom. 66 00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:26,336 Ohh. 67 00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:30,601 Look at her. 68 00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:32,516 What a pig. 69 00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,562 Here we are, safe and sound. 70 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:40,307 -Aah! -I know, I know, we gotta get a car. 71 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:41,656 It's on my list. 72 00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,441 I dried my hair in front of the TV, 73 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,400 and it's full of electricity. 74 00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,838 -Mitch, please, stop. -Mitch, don't do that. C'mon. 75 00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:52,449 Wait. Your cousins, Toby and Mary, 76 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:53,885 do they have a boy or a girl? 77 00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,496 Uh, one or the other. 78 00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,630 Go! Go! Go! Go! 79 00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:02,198 Mama! Mama, go! 80 00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:09,249 [laughs] 81 00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:13,340 [cheers] 82 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,875 [announcer] Congratulations to the bride and groom. 83 00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,920 Many happy years together. 84 00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,879 Jesus, who is that? 85 00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:33,621 [announcer] Now we'd like to do a composition of our own. 86 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,755 Eh, you take away the clothes and the make-up, 87 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,409 what do you got? 88 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:40,932 A gorgeous naked woman. 89 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:42,978 -Ah! -Larry! 90 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:45,763 Oh, congratulations, Uncle Phil. 91 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,852 Isn't she something, huh? 92 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:50,507 Edie, if you're as half as wonderful as my uncle says, 93 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:51,726 I want you to leave him right now. 94 00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:52,901 I'm going to marry you. 95 00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,642 Oh! 96 00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,687 This is Larry's beautiful wife, Trish. 97 00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,080 Congratulations. 98 00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,909 And this monster here is Mitchie. 99 00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,824 Hey, easy on the mousse, Uncle Phil. 100 00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:04,608 Hi, Mitch. 101 00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,654 This is for you. 102 00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:08,786 When are you coming to work for me, you son of a gun? 103 00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,833 Oh, I told you, Uncle Phil, I just don't see an intellectual, 104 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,791 albeit, muscular guy like myself 105 00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,837 working in a junkyard. 106 00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:18,927 Believe me. There's a future in garbage. 107 00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,537 By the year 2000, there's gonna be 108 00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:21,886 no place left for human refuse. 109 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,714 No place left for human refuse. 110 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:26,369 Get in while the market's still open. 111 00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,633 Don't say nothing. Don't say nothing. Sleep on it. 112 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,897 -We'll talk, ok? -It's on my list, Uncle Phil. 113 00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,638 -Your list? -No, it's on my list. 114 00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,379 I got your list. 115 00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:44,474 I would like to make-- attention, please. Attention! 116 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:45,910 I want to make a toast 117 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,999 to this lovely young couple. 118 00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:51,089 For most of us, 119 00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:52,830 to find love once in a lifetime, 120 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,832 we're lucky. 121 00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,268 But for these two 122 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,793 to find love again later in life... 123 00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:02,623 So, Edie, 124 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:06,017 On behalf of my whole family, we are grateful, 125 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,802 because my Uncle Phil, 126 00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:10,979 while being one of the great men in garbage, 127 00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,895 has not always been so keen on personal hygiene. 128 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:15,636 That is, until he met you. 129 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,683 So... 130 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,946 I will now, ahem, disrobe 131 00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:24,732 And play a Celtic classic ballad 132 00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,995 on my love flute. 133 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:28,649 [Uncle Phil] Shut up! 134 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,746 My nephew Larry's making a toast. 135 00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,272 Oh. 136 00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,927 Uh, thank you, Uncle Phil. 137 00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,711 Even the band stopped. 138 00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:48,930 Um... 139 00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,366 Well, I was uh... 140 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,455 Excuse me here. I was, just, uh... 141 00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:56,894 Trying to, uh, make a toast here, um... 142 00:06:56,981 --> 00:07:00,942 What I guess what I was trying to say was this is, uh... 143 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:02,683 This occasion's more than a--than a wedding. 144 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:05,686 It's a, uh... Well, it's a love story. 145 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:06,948 It's... 146 00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:08,558 I'm dying here. 147 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,474 It's the, uh, the story... 148 00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,912 ♪ It's the story Of a lovely lady ♪ 149 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:19,003 ♪ Who was living, had Three lovely girl sisters ♪ 150 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:23,486 ♪ Each of them had hair Like their mother ♪ 151 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:27,534 What's the real color of her hair anyway? 152 00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,536 What year? 153 00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:36,804 ♪ It's the story Of Phil Kozinski ♪ 154 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:40,677 ♪ Who was living in A garbage dump alone ♪ 155 00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,551 Anyway. Anyway. 156 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,596 Anyway, to life... 157 00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:47,989 To love... 158 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,817 To Phil and Edie. 159 00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:02,917 Larry... 160 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:04,962 I'm touched. 161 00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:06,703 [belches] 162 00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:11,186 Such a wonderful nephew. 163 00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,970 Such a wonderful bride. 164 00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,624 I don't deserve her. 165 00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,321 You're right, you bastard! 166 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:17,845 Hey, you don't like it? 167 00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,934 Kiss me where the sun don't shine! 168 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,023 Oh, yeah? Where is that? 169 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,894 I'll show you where. 170 00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:24,982 Wait. 171 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:28,725 [drum roll] 172 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,988 [band plays strip tease music] 173 00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,861 [crowd cheers] 174 00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:41,477 It's all mine! 175 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,830 Marone a mi, 176 00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,179 my brother Angelo 177 00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,007 just rolled over in his grave. 178 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,922 You're crazy! 179 00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:53,924 Crazy with love! 180 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,100 ♪ You put your right leg in ♪ 181 00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,102 ♪ You put your right leg out ♪ 182 00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,756 ♪ You put your right leg in ♪ 183 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,236 ♪ And you shake it All about ♪ 184 00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:02,890 ♪ You do the hokey pokey ♪ 185 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,456 ♪ And you turn Yourself around ♪ 186 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,894 ♪ That's what it's all about ♪ 187 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:14,728 Now all of these products are natural, 188 00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,164 and they're coordinated 189 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,992 to go with your individual coloring. 190 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:22,953 You're a "fall"-- soft ambers and magenta. 191 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,566 And you're a "summer"-- yellows... blues. 192 00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:30,395 And you, you're a "spring." 193 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,875 You should be in pink. 194 00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:34,399 Darling, I'm a widow for 30 years, 195 00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,097 and I only wear black. 196 00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:38,795 And on you, it works. 197 00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,710 Classic. 198 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,277 ♪ Turn yourself around ♪ 199 00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:44,235 ♪ That's what It's all about ♪ 200 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:47,064 Look at them. Look at her. 201 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,850 She buried my brother only five years ago. 202 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:53,462 -Look at her. She killed him. -What? 203 00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:54,811 She killed him with butter, 204 00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:56,726 putting butter in his food all the time. 205 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,251 Listen to me, Kevin, I'm telling you, 206 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:02,819 -I've got a problem with this! -All right, you told me we had a problem. 207 00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,342 -Now's not the time. -You canceled the check. 208 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,867 -You didn't fix the car! -What, what? It's my fault that it broke down? 209 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,738 Tom, it broke down on the way home! 210 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:09,913 Hey! You owe me money! 211 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,436 You owe me a car! 212 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,003 -You're a goddam liar. -You're a cheat! 213 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,265 Shithead! Come on! 214 00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:15,963 Take it easy. 215 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,268 Come on! 216 00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:18,966 Just relax. Relax! 217 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,142 Take it easy. 218 00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:22,143 Your cousin's an asshole. 219 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:23,231 Hey! Just take it easy. 220 00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:24,798 Get some help, Tom. 221 00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:30,760 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 222 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:38,768 Up close, she doesn't look so young. 223 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:50,693 [band plays the theme from The Godfather] 224 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:04,098 Wait, you're actually telling me that your parents let you come here today? 225 00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:07,231 And they never warned you about the wedding killer? 226 00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:08,929 [kids] No. 227 00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,888 Okay. You see, there's this guy, um... 228 00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,977 Fred, I think his name is-- 229 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:18,112 And his girlfriend walked out on him, okay? 230 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,984 And on the day of her wedding to this other guy, 231 00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:22,682 Fred showed up, 232 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,901 and he had a machete. 233 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,034 And he chopped her head off. 234 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,732 -[kids] Eww! -There was blood everywhere, 235 00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:33,388 and then he sliced the groom's guts open, right down the middle, 236 00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:35,433 and this stuff spilled out 237 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,087 that looked like, uh...spaghetti. 238 00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:39,089 Ew! Gross! 239 00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,351 And then he ripped her heart out 240 00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:42,179 while it was still beating, 241 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:43,833 and he ate it! 242 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,095 [kids] Ew! 243 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:46,662 Wait, wait, wait. 244 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:49,273 And now he goes from wedding to wedding 245 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,189 macheteing up everybody into little pieces. 246 00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:54,278 Kids, too? 247 00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,063 Especiallykids. 248 00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:57,978 It's time to go, kids. 249 00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:05,202 That was sweet of you to tell them stories, Mitch. 250 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,856 There's nothing to it. 251 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:10,077 Aah! Aah! 252 00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,731 Oh. 253 00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,385 Come on, children. 254 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,692 Children, outside. 255 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,005 Bye-bye. 256 00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,183 Bye-bye. 257 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,837 Send a card! 258 00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,189 Okay, I'll call you. 259 00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:39,889 Dad, I can't find her anywhere. 260 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,717 And I got plans tonight. 261 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:44,589 -Uh, Harry? -Yeah? 262 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,243 Hey, can you give my kid a lift home? 263 00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,941 Come along, Mitch. 264 00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:50,160 Great. Hey, as dads go, you're okay. 265 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:51,945 Home by 10:00. 266 00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,731 Mitch, home by 10:00. 267 00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,734 [woman] Bye. 268 00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,127 Goodbye. 269 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:07,395 She's going to come back soon 270 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:08,875 from her honeymoon. 271 00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:19,363 -Hi. -Hi. 272 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,888 I seem to have lost my mate. 273 00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,193 Me, too. 274 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,934 I'm sure I came in with one. 275 00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:28,938 -Nice wedding. -Mm-hmm. 276 00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:33,508 I'm Phil's nephew. 277 00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:35,031 I know, I'm Edie's, um-- 278 00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,032 I know. 279 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,120 Larry. 280 00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:38,948 I'm Maria. Chloe. 281 00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:40,515 -Hi, Chloe. -Hi. 282 00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,038 -Are you cold, sweetheart? -Yeah. 283 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:44,388 Well, why don't we go inside? 284 00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,173 Yes. That's a good idea. 285 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,008 [singing] 286 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,445 Ha ha ha! You should be a singer. 287 00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:58,446 Oh, thanks. 288 00:13:58,533 --> 00:13:59,969 I'll try. 289 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,536 Your wife is very beautiful. 290 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,494 Have you been married long? 291 00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,279 Couple of years. You? 292 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:06,367 Almost 11. 293 00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:07,977 Ooh. 294 00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:10,850 We were married young. 295 00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:12,939 Work? 296 00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,157 Yes. He sells cars. 297 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:15,942 Subarus. 298 00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:18,074 No, do you work? 299 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,295 Me? Yes. I'm a legal secretary. 300 00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,340 Ahh. 301 00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:24,951 [Maria] And you? 302 00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:27,127 I teach ballroom dancing. 303 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,303 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 304 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,392 Would you have been more impressed 305 00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:33,176 if I said I was a securities analyst? 306 00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,265 Because my first wife was. 307 00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:37,485 My father, however, was more impressed 308 00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:40,096 when I was a real estate broker. 309 00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:43,230 My first wife's friends liked that, too. 310 00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,406 Everybody was impressed but me. 311 00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:47,974 And you play the piano, too. 312 00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:49,236 No. 313 00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:52,543 Trumpet. 314 00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,937 Are you really a dance teacher? 315 00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,595 Here you go. This... 316 00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:04,512 entitles you to one free lesson. 317 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:07,167 I'm not a very good dancer. 318 00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,385 That's okay. 319 00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,039 I'm not a very good teacher. 320 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:16,393 Well, I bet I know somebody who would like to dance. 321 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,352 [laughs] 322 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:19,570 [giggles] 323 00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:21,877 Oh, you're so light. 324 00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:29,537 You're very good with children. 325 00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:32,105 Well, my job gives me a lot of time 326 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,063 to spend with my son. 327 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,241 -The one with the video camera? -Uh-huh. 328 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:43,290 You know, my mother and Phil... 329 00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:45,292 They're so sweet. 330 00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,557 I felt like crying, but I couldn't. 331 00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,385 I never can. 332 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:55,215 Why am I telling you this? 333 00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,652 People tell dance teachers things. 334 00:15:57,739 --> 00:15:59,610 Thank you, madam. Lovely. 335 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,570 Nobody told me anything when I was in securities. 336 00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,180 Whoo! 337 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,790 How many jobs did you have? 338 00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:07,705 Oh, I don't know. A lot. 339 00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,360 I change every two or three years. 340 00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:11,579 If it looks like I might be successful, 341 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,407 I move on. 342 00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:14,625 [Maria] You don't want to be successful? 343 00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,932 I want to be happy. 344 00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:19,717 We're getting personal here. 345 00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,328 You're learning all of my secrets. 346 00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,330 And I don't know the first thing about you. 347 00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:26,289 I'm not an interesting person. 348 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,379 Christ, you-- how you doing? 349 00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:31,512 You will not believe what happened to us. 350 00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:33,296 The God damn car broke down. 351 00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,037 Where is everybody? 352 00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:38,258 Oh, Jesus, I didn't know it was this late. Are you okay? 353 00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:40,564 Oh, Tom was just giving me a test drive. 354 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,089 In his car. He-- we lost track of time. 355 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,394 Tom sells BMWs. 356 00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:47,267 I thought they were Subarus. 357 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,617 I understand you're in the market for a new car. 358 00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:51,706 We are, aren't we, honey? 359 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,404 Your wife and I have been talking about a set of wheels 360 00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,232 under you at a price you can afford. 361 00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:57,755 Not just any set of wheels. 362 00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,193 We're talking about the Bavarian Motor Works. 363 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,457 I think a BMW is a little out of our range. 364 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,067 Mmm. 365 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,070 Besides, they're breaking down all the time. 366 00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:10,464 [laughs] 367 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,988 [all laugh] 368 00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:19,429 So anyway, as soon as she said 369 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,344 they were thinking about buying a car, 370 00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,390 I knew if I could get her behind the wheel-- 371 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:27,394 Bingo-- sale, commission, full sticker price. 372 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:30,092 Then the car breaks down. 373 00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,616 See that's the thing in sales, you have to concentrate on the woman. 374 00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,401 Women always liked you, Tom. 375 00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:38,883 You believe me, don't you? 376 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,407 Why shouldn't I? 377 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,322 You're my husband. 378 00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:47,196 [trumpet plays] 379 00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:52,593 Phil's worth a lot of money. 380 00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:55,465 You really should take him up on his offer. 381 00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:57,424 You're great at collecting junk. 382 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,470 You'd wind up running the company. 383 00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:06,694 My psychic Mrs. Wong 384 00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:08,522 is encouraging me to express myself. 385 00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:11,612 She says a lot of attractive women get depressed 386 00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,483 because they think people see nothing 387 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,181 but their looks. 388 00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,580 She thinks I have sensitivity 389 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,408 and talent, Larry. 390 00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:27,410 She says that. 391 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,369 Mrs. Wong's right. 392 00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,156 I should tell you that more often. I'm sorry. 393 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:40,206 Would you still slay a dragon for me? 394 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,428 Maybe a baby dragon. 395 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,612 Mrs. Wong gave me a self-improvement tape. 396 00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:56,961 Would you like to hear it? 397 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,094 Not right now. 398 00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,575 Larry... 399 00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:04,360 I wouldn't hurt you for anything. 400 00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:06,101 You know that, don't you? 401 00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:10,323 Why would you say that? 402 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:12,281 Will you dance with me? 403 00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,110 We never dance anymore. 404 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,113 [crash] 405 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:21,595 [Larry] Hey, Mitch. 406 00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:36,436 ♪ Sunday, Monday Happy Days ♪ 407 00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:38,525 ♪ Tuesday, Wednesday Happy Days ♪ 408 00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:41,354 ♪ Thursday, Friday Happy Days ♪ 409 00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:42,616 ♪ Saturday, what a day ♪ 410 00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,313 ♪ Saturday, what a day ♪ 411 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,793 Remember the guy on the news 412 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,621 who listened to Ozzy Osborne so much 413 00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,840 that his parents sued because he became a mass murderer? 414 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:53,627 Well, Aunt Irene told me today, she's thinking of suing now 415 00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:56,717 because cousin Donald listened to Barry Manilow over and over, 416 00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:58,632 and he became a florist. 417 00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,547 Aah! 418 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:06,205 [Larry] That bad, huh? What's up? 419 00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:09,730 It's the blonde on the blue bicycle, isn't it? 420 00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:11,906 [chuckles] Shut up. 421 00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:16,171 The blonde whose initials are on your Vans. 422 00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:19,479 Shut up. 423 00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:21,829 When I watch you play soccer, 424 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:24,005 and the guys go for Gatorade at the break, 425 00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:26,703 you go and talk to the blonde on the bicycle. 426 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:29,532 -I said, "Shut up!" You're not my mother. -Mitch! 427 00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:31,142 I'm just trying to help, Mitchie. 428 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,796 I could give you the girl's point of view. 429 00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,711 Tish, kiss my squirrel. 430 00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:38,237 Hey, hey, we will have no squirrel-kissing here tonight. 431 00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:40,804 I was just trying to help. 432 00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:43,329 I think I should spend a little time with Mitch alone. 433 00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:50,379 "Kiss my squirrel"? Hey, come on. 434 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:52,512 [belches] 435 00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:53,600 Oh, that's very nice. 436 00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:04,393 [female on tape] Repeat several times a day. 437 00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:09,703 I approve of myself. 438 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:15,448 I approve of myself. 439 00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:25,458 You're not throwing it quite hard enough. 440 00:21:25,545 --> 00:21:26,807 I hate Leonard Pearson. 441 00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:27,982 Who? 442 00:21:28,069 --> 00:21:30,680 Leonard Pearson. In my class. 443 00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:32,813 He follows me around all the time. 444 00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:34,945 Oh, but you shouldn't hate anybody, Chloe. 445 00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:37,600 He tells everyone he loves me. 446 00:21:37,687 --> 00:21:38,862 But that is sweet. 447 00:21:38,949 --> 00:21:40,734 You be sweet to him, okay? 448 00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:42,431 Bye. 449 00:21:42,518 --> 00:21:43,519 Bye, Mom. 450 00:21:47,654 --> 00:21:48,698 Leonard! 451 00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:50,265 Aah! 452 00:22:23,994 --> 00:22:25,735 Hi, Tom. 453 00:22:25,822 --> 00:22:26,997 Bernadette... 454 00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:29,870 Look, I'm sorry, 455 00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:31,611 But we have to stop seeing each other. 456 00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,004 What? 457 00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:35,571 It's just getting too serious. 458 00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:43,753 You're right. 459 00:22:46,016 --> 00:22:47,627 [door slams] 460 00:22:55,678 --> 00:22:57,985 Hi. Uh... I'll be with you 461 00:22:58,072 --> 00:22:59,639 in a minute, okay, Tom? 462 00:23:05,035 --> 00:23:06,776 How's your family? 463 00:23:07,124 --> 00:23:08,648 Olga, listen... 464 00:23:08,735 --> 00:23:09,736 About us... 465 00:23:09,823 --> 00:23:11,781 [laughs] 466 00:23:11,868 --> 00:23:14,741 ♪ You've got A new girlfriend ♪ 467 00:23:14,828 --> 00:23:16,786 [laughs] 468 00:23:17,918 --> 00:23:19,485 I can't see you anymore. 469 00:23:20,573 --> 00:23:22,662 Lighten up, Tom. 470 00:23:22,749 --> 00:23:24,794 [telephone rings] 471 00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:26,622 Planned Parenthood. 472 00:23:42,856 --> 00:23:44,553 You're not allowed to talk to the driver. 473 00:23:54,955 --> 00:23:56,435 [Tom clears throat] 474 00:24:02,136 --> 00:24:04,399 Would you excuse me just one moment? 475 00:24:08,751 --> 00:24:09,665 Hi. 476 00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:10,710 What did you tell him? 477 00:24:10,797 --> 00:24:11,754 Who? 478 00:24:11,841 --> 00:24:13,016 Your husband. About us. 479 00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:14,931 -Nothing. -Good. Keep it that way. 480 00:24:15,018 --> 00:24:16,759 I just wanted to make sure you're not one of those 481 00:24:16,846 --> 00:24:18,631 "three beers and you make a confession" types. 482 00:24:20,067 --> 00:24:22,678 Well, you're a whole lot different than you were last night. 483 00:24:22,765 --> 00:24:25,159 Last night never happened, understand? 484 00:24:25,246 --> 00:24:26,726 I've changed my whole life today. 485 00:24:26,813 --> 00:24:28,249 I've cleaned up my act. No more women. 486 00:24:28,336 --> 00:24:30,991 Last night never happened, understand? 487 00:24:31,078 --> 00:24:32,862 And if you ever say that it did, 488 00:24:32,949 --> 00:24:34,821 if use the "f" word about us, 489 00:24:34,908 --> 00:24:37,040 If even the "fuh" sounds comes out of your mouth, 490 00:24:37,127 --> 00:24:38,694 I will denounce you as a liar 491 00:24:38,781 --> 00:24:40,087 and a home-wrecker, do you understand? 492 00:24:40,174 --> 00:24:41,567 [woman] Miss! 493 00:24:42,002 --> 00:24:43,656 Excuse me. I have to get back to her 494 00:24:43,743 --> 00:24:45,658 or her eyeliner will cake. 495 00:24:46,702 --> 00:24:48,051 Do you understand? 496 00:24:48,138 --> 00:24:50,924 I have an IQ in the triple digits. 497 00:24:51,011 --> 00:24:53,143 What word do you think I didn't understand? 498 00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:56,625 Okay. I just wanted to make sure you understood. 499 00:24:57,365 --> 00:24:58,845 Are you wearing black underwear? 500 00:24:58,932 --> 00:25:00,542 Yes. 501 00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:02,762 Want to meet me for a drink later? 502 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,855 Kiss my squirrel. 503 00:25:13,816 --> 00:25:16,253 So they drove to a shopping mall 504 00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:18,691 and parked in back of a supermarket 505 00:25:18,778 --> 00:25:22,085 behind a dumpster in our car 506 00:25:22,825 --> 00:25:25,219 that I make payments on by sweating my ass off 507 00:25:25,306 --> 00:25:28,048 so she can sweat her ass off inside it! 508 00:25:28,135 --> 00:25:29,571 Sorry. 509 00:25:30,703 --> 00:25:32,095 Now, that car was rocking 510 00:25:32,182 --> 00:25:33,662 like an out-of-whack washing machine. 511 00:25:33,749 --> 00:25:35,229 I went crazy. I-- 512 00:25:35,316 --> 00:25:37,187 Are you getting all this down, Maria? 513 00:25:37,274 --> 00:25:38,928 -Yes, I am, Mr. Bregman. -Okay. 514 00:25:39,842 --> 00:25:44,499 I decided to kill her, but I couldn't. 515 00:25:45,892 --> 00:25:47,633 I love her. 516 00:25:48,808 --> 00:25:50,766 So I shaved her head, 517 00:25:50,853 --> 00:25:53,682 and now see if he wants her. 518 00:25:53,769 --> 00:25:55,771 That is why your wife 519 00:25:55,858 --> 00:25:58,513 is suing you for divorce, Mr. Dionne? 520 00:26:00,297 --> 00:26:02,517 [Mr. Dionne] Love is shit. 521 00:26:03,736 --> 00:26:05,215 Marriage is shit. 522 00:26:05,302 --> 00:26:06,390 [Mr. Bregman] You know, I'm sitting here 523 00:26:06,477 --> 00:26:08,131 listening to you editorialize. 524 00:26:08,218 --> 00:26:09,829 [Mr. Dionne] Well, fuck you, moneybags, hey? 525 00:26:29,196 --> 00:26:30,850 My favorite part-- boing! 526 00:26:30,937 --> 00:26:33,722 Here we go. All right. Remember-- 527 00:26:33,809 --> 00:26:35,245 Happy, happy, happy. 528 00:26:35,332 --> 00:26:37,117 No, no. We're doing the cha-cha here. 529 00:26:37,204 --> 00:26:39,423 All right. Remember, ladies, 530 00:26:39,510 --> 00:26:41,121 it's ok to smile... 531 00:26:41,208 --> 00:26:42,862 especially at my jokes. 532 00:26:42,949 --> 00:26:45,038 Ready and... 533 00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:46,692 Cha-cha-cha. 534 00:26:46,779 --> 00:26:48,128 Swivel, swivel. 535 00:26:48,215 --> 00:26:50,130 Forward, back, forward. 536 00:26:50,217 --> 00:26:52,001 I can't even say it right. 537 00:26:52,088 --> 00:26:53,960 Hit him, Maggie, if he does that right. 538 00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:57,703 Let's do it again. Ready and cha-cha-cha. 539 00:26:57,790 --> 00:26:59,226 Swivel, swivel. 540 00:26:59,313 --> 00:27:01,097 Forward, cross, forward. 541 00:27:01,184 --> 00:27:02,925 Who's leading here? 542 00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:05,275 That's all right, you lead. You're doing a good job, Freddy. 543 00:27:05,362 --> 00:27:06,799 I want these suspenders. 544 00:27:06,886 --> 00:27:08,931 Ready and cha-cha-cha. 545 00:27:09,018 --> 00:27:10,280 Swivel, swivel. 546 00:27:10,367 --> 00:27:11,804 Forward, cross, forward. 547 00:27:11,891 --> 00:27:15,895 Up, six, seven, eight. 548 00:27:15,982 --> 00:27:17,287 And one... 549 00:27:17,374 --> 00:27:20,726 two, three, four... 550 00:27:21,814 --> 00:27:24,730 [Larry] All right. You know, you're gonna put me out of work. 551 00:27:24,817 --> 00:27:25,992 You're too good. 552 00:27:26,079 --> 00:27:27,907 One more time. Ready and... 553 00:27:27,994 --> 00:27:29,778 Cha-cha-cha. 554 00:27:29,865 --> 00:27:32,128 Oh, my God. No, no, no. 555 00:27:32,215 --> 00:27:33,826 Let me show you one more time. 556 00:27:33,913 --> 00:27:35,741 One more time, everybody. 557 00:27:37,394 --> 00:27:38,787 Mrs. Greenblatt. 558 00:27:49,232 --> 00:27:51,670 Ha ha. You look mahvelous. 559 00:28:04,334 --> 00:28:06,685 Magnificent. A thing of beauty. 560 00:28:07,294 --> 00:28:08,730 Thank you, thank you. 561 00:28:11,515 --> 00:28:13,909 Okay, that's it. Time's up, everybody. 562 00:28:13,996 --> 00:28:15,345 Practice, practice, practice. 563 00:28:15,432 --> 00:28:17,043 Yes, practice, practice, practice. 564 00:28:17,130 --> 00:28:19,132 Goodbye. Get out of here. 565 00:28:19,219 --> 00:28:21,221 Get out of here, get out of here, you crazy guys. 566 00:28:21,308 --> 00:28:22,396 Thanks. Get new shoes. 567 00:28:22,483 --> 00:28:24,267 Those are not gonna work. 568 00:28:24,354 --> 00:28:27,009 Okay, oh, don't forget to bring your checks next week. 569 00:28:28,402 --> 00:28:29,925 Hi. 570 00:28:30,012 --> 00:28:31,361 Hi. 571 00:28:31,448 --> 00:28:33,842 [Larry] You came for your free lesson. 572 00:28:34,234 --> 00:28:36,453 No, it's my lunch break. 573 00:28:36,540 --> 00:28:38,760 And I thought that maybe we could talk. 574 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,202 -[Larry] Mexican? -[Maria] It's too heavy. 575 00:28:46,637 --> 00:28:48,422 [Maria] I don't know how to say this. 576 00:28:48,509 --> 00:28:49,815 [Larry] Well, words are good. 577 00:28:50,206 --> 00:28:51,773 [Maria] They have fried octopus? 578 00:28:52,339 --> 00:28:53,775 [Larry] No, I had that for breakfast. 579 00:28:56,386 --> 00:28:58,040 [Maria] This is difficult. 580 00:28:58,127 --> 00:29:00,956 Oh, come on. It's only lunch. 581 00:29:01,043 --> 00:29:02,131 Burgers. 582 00:29:02,218 --> 00:29:04,090 No, too obvious. 583 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,876 Larry? I need to ask you something. 584 00:29:09,965 --> 00:29:11,488 Do I think that... 585 00:29:11,575 --> 00:29:14,013 your husband and my wife slept together? 586 00:29:16,406 --> 00:29:18,452 Thank you. It would have taken me a lot longer. 587 00:29:18,974 --> 00:29:22,021 Well, I only have an hour for lunch. 588 00:29:23,283 --> 00:29:25,067 Ah... Spuds International. 589 00:29:25,154 --> 00:29:27,940 Everything you ever wanted on a potato and more. 590 00:29:28,027 --> 00:29:30,029 I think they had one with a Buick on it. 591 00:29:30,638 --> 00:29:32,727 Do you think they did? 592 00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:36,731 I don't know. Only they know. 593 00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:40,126 You don't seem to be upset about it. 594 00:29:40,474 --> 00:29:42,215 Sex isn't that big a deal anyway. 595 00:29:42,737 --> 00:29:45,348 Whether they had sex or not, something happened. 596 00:29:45,435 --> 00:29:49,135 Hey, I believe in people's freedom of choice. 597 00:29:49,222 --> 00:29:51,050 Tish needs to grow up to be her own person. 598 00:29:51,137 --> 00:29:52,529 Now that's me. 599 00:29:52,616 --> 00:29:54,009 What people do is their own business. 600 00:29:54,096 --> 00:29:56,229 That doesn't apply to marriage. 601 00:29:56,316 --> 00:29:58,144 Well, it sounds to me you have a choice to make. 602 00:29:58,231 --> 00:30:00,842 And guess what? You're free to make it. 603 00:30:02,278 --> 00:30:05,151 This is great. We hardly know each other, 604 00:30:05,238 --> 00:30:07,762 and we're already getting our first argument out of the way. 605 00:30:11,113 --> 00:30:13,246 Are you serious about that freedom stuff? 606 00:30:15,161 --> 00:30:16,118 Yes. 607 00:30:20,122 --> 00:30:23,038 No! Oh, God, I'm so full of shit! 608 00:30:23,125 --> 00:30:25,214 I'd like to kill them both! 609 00:30:25,301 --> 00:30:26,302 I'm sorry. 610 00:30:26,389 --> 00:30:28,000 [yelling in Chinese] 611 00:30:28,087 --> 00:30:29,958 Sorry, I will pay for it. 612 00:30:30,654 --> 00:30:33,005 -No, it's my fault. -I will pay for the fish. I broke the fish. 613 00:30:33,092 --> 00:30:34,920 I shouldn't have come. 614 00:30:35,007 --> 00:30:36,965 No, wait-- how much? 615 00:30:37,052 --> 00:30:38,271 Never--never mind. 616 00:30:38,358 --> 00:30:39,707 Wait, wait. 617 00:30:39,794 --> 00:30:42,057 Please, I'm, uh... I'm very sorry. 618 00:30:44,016 --> 00:30:47,062 Whoa. It wasn't easy 619 00:30:47,149 --> 00:30:48,672 for you to come see me today, was it? 620 00:30:48,759 --> 00:30:50,936 -No. -Are you okay? 621 00:30:51,588 --> 00:30:53,939 No, I'm not okay. 622 00:30:54,417 --> 00:30:55,505 That's right. 623 00:30:55,592 --> 00:30:57,812 You don't cry, do you? 624 00:30:59,031 --> 00:31:00,641 Or hit fish. 625 00:31:00,728 --> 00:31:02,077 Oh, God. 626 00:31:02,164 --> 00:31:03,513 Ooh, jeez. 627 00:31:04,514 --> 00:31:08,170 [Maria] You know, Tom lately has been really upset about work. 628 00:31:08,257 --> 00:31:10,520 They have these contests-- who sells the most cars. 629 00:31:10,607 --> 00:31:12,653 And he lost his trip to Las Vegas. 630 00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:14,960 Well, that's a good reason to hump my wife. 631 00:31:16,222 --> 00:31:17,484 I'm sorry. 632 00:31:17,571 --> 00:31:19,573 Listen, Tish is a good person. 633 00:31:19,660 --> 00:31:22,228 She just wants to be appreciated for more than her looks. 634 00:31:22,315 --> 00:31:24,404 She's worried people think she's dumb. 635 00:31:24,491 --> 00:31:27,407 She's not dumb. Tom is very vulnerable to female flattery. 636 00:31:27,494 --> 00:31:29,322 Why do you keep making excuses for your husband? 637 00:31:29,409 --> 00:31:31,324 Mm, because you're making excuses for your wife. 638 00:31:31,411 --> 00:31:35,241 All right, all right. So, how did you two meet? 639 00:31:35,632 --> 00:31:37,504 We met in high school. 640 00:31:37,591 --> 00:31:40,420 He was an athlete, a big athlete. 641 00:31:40,507 --> 00:31:42,552 And he had the red car he was very proud of. 642 00:31:42,639 --> 00:31:44,337 Girls were crazy about him. 643 00:31:45,338 --> 00:31:47,296 And I just came to this country, And I was very shy. 644 00:31:47,383 --> 00:31:49,342 I couldn't believe when he came and talked to me. 645 00:31:49,429 --> 00:31:51,213 Well, he must've said something right, 646 00:31:51,300 --> 00:31:52,432 to get you to marry him. 647 00:31:52,519 --> 00:31:54,260 No. I was the only girl 648 00:31:54,347 --> 00:31:56,044 who wouldn't go to sleep with him. 649 00:31:57,306 --> 00:31:58,481 What about you? 650 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,570 I guess I thought Tish was going to be different 651 00:32:00,657 --> 00:32:02,355 than my first wife. 652 00:32:02,442 --> 00:32:03,573 Surprise, you know? 653 00:32:04,183 --> 00:32:05,924 Turns out she's the bride of Bloomingdale's. 654 00:32:08,578 --> 00:32:10,450 So, what do you want to do? 655 00:32:10,537 --> 00:32:12,060 You want to confront them? 656 00:32:12,147 --> 00:32:13,496 They'll just deny it. 657 00:32:13,583 --> 00:32:15,934 We could shave their heads. 658 00:32:16,630 --> 00:32:18,327 What? 659 00:32:18,414 --> 00:32:21,330 I have to go back to work. I'm sorry. 660 00:32:21,417 --> 00:32:23,245 I'm sorry if I spoiled your day. 661 00:32:23,985 --> 00:32:26,292 It was nice not having lunch with you. 662 00:32:28,294 --> 00:32:29,948 Bye. 663 00:32:30,557 --> 00:32:32,080 Goodbye, Maria. 664 00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:41,307 [Chloe] And he said, "No way." 665 00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:43,265 Sweetheart, I'm going to put your flowers in this vase. 666 00:32:43,352 --> 00:32:45,093 You could do your homework. 667 00:32:47,574 --> 00:32:49,228 What's in the box, Daddy? 668 00:32:49,706 --> 00:32:50,577 What's this? 669 00:32:50,664 --> 00:32:52,361 Open it. 670 00:32:54,363 --> 00:32:56,148 And tonight I'm going to make 671 00:32:56,235 --> 00:32:58,324 my world famous garlic chicken pamplona. 672 00:32:59,455 --> 00:33:00,761 [Chloe] Yay! 673 00:33:00,848 --> 00:33:02,328 Not only that, I'll even clean up 674 00:33:02,415 --> 00:33:04,199 after I use every pot in the house. 675 00:33:04,286 --> 00:33:05,200 I promise. 676 00:33:07,246 --> 00:33:09,030 Tom, this is beautiful. 677 00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:12,338 What's the occasion? 678 00:33:12,642 --> 00:33:15,254 Nothing. Just us. 679 00:33:16,733 --> 00:33:18,083 All of us together. 680 00:33:18,170 --> 00:33:20,172 Just one of those nights. 681 00:33:20,563 --> 00:33:22,217 It's nice to have a family. 682 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,271 So, how was your day? 683 00:33:33,185 --> 00:33:34,490 Fine. 684 00:33:34,577 --> 00:33:36,362 I had lunch with Larry Kozinski. 685 00:33:38,233 --> 00:33:40,192 -Who? -Larry Kozinski. 686 00:33:40,279 --> 00:33:41,671 I had lunch with him today. 687 00:33:41,758 --> 00:33:43,325 Sweetheart, don't wrinkle it. 688 00:33:43,412 --> 00:33:46,328 Why? Uh...what for? 689 00:33:46,981 --> 00:33:49,462 What did you talk about? 690 00:33:49,549 --> 00:33:51,290 Hmm, nothing special. 691 00:33:52,552 --> 00:33:54,423 Was it a nice lunch? 692 00:33:54,510 --> 00:33:57,035 Mm-hmm, very nice. 693 00:33:58,514 --> 00:34:01,300 Well...that's fine. That's good. 694 00:34:01,648 --> 00:34:04,216 That's okay. I'm glad you had a nice day. 695 00:34:04,781 --> 00:34:06,174 Good old Larry. 696 00:34:06,522 --> 00:34:09,395 Lunch... nice. 697 00:34:11,397 --> 00:34:13,703 Mitchie is, uh-- what is it you are, again, Mitchie? 698 00:34:13,790 --> 00:34:16,271 I'm a multimedia artist, 699 00:34:16,358 --> 00:34:18,186 but my emphasis is on video. 700 00:34:19,579 --> 00:34:21,015 I'm so excited. 701 00:34:33,332 --> 00:34:35,334 ♪ Sunday, Monday, Happy Days ♪ 702 00:34:35,421 --> 00:34:37,466 ♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days ♪ 703 00:34:37,553 --> 00:34:40,339 ♪ Thursday, Friday, Happy Days ♪ 704 00:34:40,426 --> 00:34:42,776 ♪ The weekend comes The cycle hums ♪ 705 00:34:42,863 --> 00:34:44,691 ♪ Ready to race to you ♪ 706 00:34:44,778 --> 00:34:48,434 ♪ These days are ours ♪ 707 00:34:48,521 --> 00:34:50,958 ♪ Happy and free Oh, Happy Days ♪ 708 00:34:51,045 --> 00:34:53,613 ♪ These days are ours ♪ 709 00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:55,354 ♪ Share them with me ♪ 710 00:34:55,441 --> 00:34:57,878 ♪ Goodbye gray skies, Hello blue ♪ 711 00:34:57,965 --> 00:35:00,359 ♪ Nothing can hurt me When I hold you ♪ 712 00:35:00,446 --> 00:35:02,883 ♪ Feels so right It can't be wrong ♪ 713 00:35:02,970 --> 00:35:05,277 ♪ Rockin' and rollin' All week long...♪ 714 00:35:05,364 --> 00:35:07,061 -That's her. -Very nice. 715 00:35:16,462 --> 00:35:18,116 ♪ Sunday, Monday Happy Days ♪ 716 00:35:18,203 --> 00:35:20,509 ♪ Tuesday, Wednesday Happy Days ♪ 717 00:35:20,596 --> 00:35:22,685 ♪ Thursday, Friday, Happy Days ♪ 718 00:35:22,772 --> 00:35:25,471 ♪ Saturday, what a day ♪ 719 00:35:25,558 --> 00:35:28,561 ♪ Groovin' all week With you ♪ 720 00:35:28,648 --> 00:35:32,652 ♪ These days are ours Share them with me ♪ 721 00:35:32,739 --> 00:35:34,262 ♪ Oh, Happy Days ♪ 722 00:35:34,349 --> 00:35:36,308 ♪ These days are ours ♪ 723 00:35:36,395 --> 00:35:37,526 ♪ Happy and free...♪ 724 00:35:37,613 --> 00:35:39,528 [groans] 725 00:35:40,486 --> 00:35:43,489 ♪ Nothing can hurt me When I hold you... ♪ 726 00:35:43,576 --> 00:35:45,491 -Well, you're a God damn liar! -Well, you're a thief! 727 00:35:45,578 --> 00:35:48,407 ♪ Rockin' and rollin' All week long ♪ 728 00:35:48,494 --> 00:35:49,843 Whoa, whoa. 729 00:35:49,930 --> 00:35:52,324 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, cut! 730 00:35:52,411 --> 00:35:53,586 Cut! 731 00:35:53,673 --> 00:35:55,370 Lights! 732 00:35:58,852 --> 00:36:00,375 Thank you. 733 00:36:00,984 --> 00:36:02,595 Uncle Tom, you did the wrong thing. 734 00:36:02,682 --> 00:36:05,380 How about lunch, huh? 735 00:36:09,428 --> 00:36:12,474 You are a very sick young man. 736 00:36:12,735 --> 00:36:14,650 Alienation... 737 00:36:14,737 --> 00:36:16,348 Great. 738 00:36:16,435 --> 00:36:17,871 Interesting work, Mitch. 739 00:36:17,958 --> 00:36:19,960 -Thanks, Dad. -Yeah. 740 00:36:20,047 --> 00:36:23,355 What the hell are you doing taking my wife out to lunch? 741 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,618 Actually, we didn't have lunch. 742 00:36:25,705 --> 00:36:29,404 We went for a walk, but my feet broke down, 743 00:36:29,491 --> 00:36:31,319 so we were a little late getting back. 744 00:36:36,890 --> 00:36:38,631 They know. 745 00:36:38,718 --> 00:36:40,372 They know about us. 746 00:36:40,459 --> 00:36:42,330 [Bunny hop music plays] 747 00:36:55,822 --> 00:36:57,563 Work in garbage all week, 748 00:36:57,650 --> 00:37:00,218 enjoy nature on the weekends. 749 00:37:00,914 --> 00:37:02,872 Here we go-- ooh, ooh, ooh. 750 00:37:02,959 --> 00:37:05,527 All right now, faster. 751 00:37:06,833 --> 00:37:08,313 Tell me about Larry. 752 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,619 Larry, Larry. 753 00:37:10,706 --> 00:37:12,882 I've asked him a million times 754 00:37:12,969 --> 00:37:14,797 to come into the business, 755 00:37:14,884 --> 00:37:16,495 but he wants to change jobs... 756 00:37:16,582 --> 00:37:18,061 Dance. 757 00:37:18,148 --> 00:37:21,630 To me-- and I say this with love, Maria-- 758 00:37:21,717 --> 00:37:22,892 Larry is a failure 759 00:37:22,979 --> 00:37:24,677 in everything except life. 760 00:37:24,764 --> 00:37:25,765 Come! Dance with me! 761 00:37:25,852 --> 00:37:27,070 Yes. 762 00:37:27,157 --> 00:37:28,115 A wild woman. 763 00:37:28,202 --> 00:37:30,248 Come on, come on. 764 00:37:31,466 --> 00:37:32,641 Show her how to do it, girls. 765 00:37:32,728 --> 00:37:33,686 They were... 766 00:37:33,773 --> 00:37:35,514 Aw--aw, don't... 767 00:37:35,601 --> 00:37:37,603 No. You go. 768 00:37:37,907 --> 00:37:39,866 Oh, we're gonna miss you. 769 00:37:39,953 --> 00:37:41,476 Whose shoe? 770 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:43,870 Phil, do you want some cake? 771 00:37:43,957 --> 00:37:45,611 Phil? 772 00:37:48,788 --> 00:37:50,355 Phil? 773 00:37:52,487 --> 00:37:54,402 Come on, asshole. Come on! 774 00:37:58,972 --> 00:38:00,669 Larry, something's wrong. 775 00:38:00,756 --> 00:38:02,715 One shot, man. That's all it will take. 776 00:38:02,802 --> 00:38:03,672 One shot. I'm right here! 777 00:38:03,759 --> 00:38:05,021 [whistles] 778 00:38:05,108 --> 00:38:06,936 I won't have this. Stop. Stop. 779 00:38:07,023 --> 00:38:09,678 Stop it, Tom, stop it! 780 00:38:09,765 --> 00:38:11,289 But, Mama... 781 00:38:14,509 --> 00:38:16,250 Phil! 782 00:38:19,949 --> 00:38:21,777 Phil... 783 00:38:21,864 --> 00:38:23,431 Phil! 784 00:38:26,956 --> 00:38:28,958 Amore mio. 785 00:38:29,045 --> 00:38:30,699 Don't leave me. 786 00:38:30,786 --> 00:38:33,354 [sobbing] 787 00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:52,112 [priest] So that even though I walk 788 00:38:52,199 --> 00:38:54,027 through the valley of the shadow of death, 789 00:38:54,114 --> 00:38:56,551 I fear no evil for thou art with me. 790 00:38:56,638 --> 00:38:59,032 Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. 791 00:38:59,119 --> 00:39:01,513 Thou preparest a table before me 792 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:02,949 in the presence of mine enemies. 793 00:39:03,036 --> 00:39:04,733 My cup overflows. 794 00:39:04,820 --> 00:39:07,910 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me 795 00:39:07,997 --> 00:39:09,869 all the days of my life, 796 00:39:09,956 --> 00:39:11,261 and I shall dwell 797 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:13,612 in the house of the Lord forever. 798 00:39:13,699 --> 00:39:14,917 Let us pray. 799 00:39:15,744 --> 00:39:18,747 Oh, God, whose days are without an end... 800 00:39:19,269 --> 00:39:21,010 Give me back my 50 cents. 801 00:39:21,097 --> 00:39:22,534 Take your dime, sport. 802 00:39:22,621 --> 00:39:25,058 Damn child, just a lousy fare. 803 00:39:25,145 --> 00:39:27,365 What do you think I am, huh? 804 00:39:28,104 --> 00:39:29,758 A God damn tourist? 805 00:39:29,845 --> 00:39:31,456 Cheapskate. 806 00:39:35,677 --> 00:39:37,897 Pop, you were supposed to call me. 807 00:39:37,984 --> 00:39:40,900 For what, a ride on that motorcycle of yours? 808 00:39:40,987 --> 00:39:43,032 Good to see you, son. 809 00:39:43,119 --> 00:39:45,034 Good God. Is this Mitchie? 810 00:39:45,121 --> 00:39:46,688 How are you doing, Grandpa? 811 00:39:46,775 --> 00:39:48,429 I'll be damned! 812 00:39:48,516 --> 00:39:50,910 You're getting to be a big man, aren't you, huh? 813 00:39:50,997 --> 00:39:52,738 -Yeah. -[chuckles] 814 00:39:52,825 --> 00:39:53,913 Let's go. 815 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,262 No, no. You go ahead. 816 00:39:55,349 --> 00:39:57,090 No, I--I'll wait right here. 817 00:39:57,177 --> 00:40:00,485 At my age, you don't want to get too close to an open grave. 818 00:40:00,572 --> 00:40:02,617 Hm. Stay with him. 819 00:40:05,968 --> 00:40:07,579 So. So, Grandpa, 820 00:40:07,666 --> 00:40:08,841 how come you didn't come to the church? 821 00:40:08,928 --> 00:40:11,104 Uh, God makes me nervous 822 00:40:11,191 --> 00:40:12,845 when you get him indoors. 823 00:40:12,932 --> 00:40:15,804 I don't like to see people in their coffins. 824 00:40:15,891 --> 00:40:18,677 They always look so much smaller without their spirits. 825 00:40:29,252 --> 00:40:32,517 I was going to bring you a gift, but I forgot. 826 00:40:34,954 --> 00:40:37,565 Think you might like one of these, huh? 827 00:40:38,566 --> 00:40:41,787 Which one you want? Hot Patty's Pajama Party? 828 00:40:41,874 --> 00:40:43,876 or G irls with Big Jugs? 829 00:40:48,097 --> 00:40:50,926 Eat. There's casseroles, cakes. 830 00:40:51,013 --> 00:40:53,668 I have turkey tetrazzini coming out the wazoo. 831 00:40:53,755 --> 00:40:56,932 Phil, Phil. Everyone loved him so. 832 00:40:57,019 --> 00:41:00,458 Did you see the wreath the boys from the junkyard sent? 833 00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:04,766 Larry, was it me? Was I too much for him? 834 00:41:04,853 --> 00:41:07,682 No, Edie, he's the happiest he'd ever been with you. 835 00:41:07,769 --> 00:41:09,945 I want you to meet my father, Vince. 836 00:41:10,032 --> 00:41:12,905 My sympathies. Sorry I missed your wedding. 837 00:41:12,992 --> 00:41:14,559 My hernia prevented it. 838 00:41:15,951 --> 00:41:17,126 Edie, I'm sorry. 839 00:41:17,213 --> 00:41:19,085 I have to go to work. 840 00:41:19,172 --> 00:41:20,956 We are still family 841 00:41:21,043 --> 00:41:22,001 even though Phil is gone. 842 00:41:22,088 --> 00:41:23,872 So, don't be a stranger. 843 00:41:23,959 --> 00:41:25,874 I won't. I promise. 844 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,703 See you later. Bye, Pops. 845 00:41:28,790 --> 00:41:30,662 -Thank you. -Nobody takes a day off 846 00:41:30,749 --> 00:41:32,577 when a man dies anymore? 847 00:41:32,664 --> 00:41:33,708 Jesus! 848 00:41:36,015 --> 00:41:38,757 You know, funerals make women really horny. 849 00:41:38,844 --> 00:41:40,802 I never knew Phil all that well, 850 00:41:40,889 --> 00:41:43,718 -but this is great turkey tetrazzini, yeah? -Mmm. 851 00:41:43,805 --> 00:41:45,111 Here, Mommy. 852 00:41:45,198 --> 00:41:47,069 Oh, thank you. 853 00:41:47,156 --> 00:41:49,289 Look, I gotta go show a car. 854 00:41:49,376 --> 00:41:51,552 As long as Chloe's staying overnight here, 855 00:41:51,639 --> 00:41:55,034 why don't, uh, why don't you meet me about 7:30, and we'll go out to eat. 856 00:41:55,121 --> 00:41:57,558 If Mama doesn't need me. 857 00:41:59,517 --> 00:42:00,779 Well, if your mom doesn't need you, 858 00:42:00,866 --> 00:42:02,258 maybe you can meet me at the showroom. 859 00:42:02,345 --> 00:42:04,130 Mm-hmm. Yes, if Mama doesn't need me, 860 00:42:04,217 --> 00:42:06,480 I'll be there. 7:30. 861 00:42:08,221 --> 00:42:09,744 Okay. 862 00:42:12,791 --> 00:42:14,793 Beauty and the Beast. 863 00:42:15,141 --> 00:42:16,925 [Mitch] I'm never gonna get married. 864 00:42:17,273 --> 00:42:18,927 You wait, you see. 865 00:42:19,014 --> 00:42:20,929 You'll get married, have kids, 866 00:42:21,016 --> 00:42:22,322 have a happy life. 867 00:42:22,409 --> 00:42:24,585 Don't eat too much butter though. 868 00:42:25,325 --> 00:42:28,023 -You know what I'd really like to do? -What? 869 00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:29,024 Kill someone. 870 00:42:29,111 --> 00:42:30,156 What? 871 00:42:30,243 --> 00:42:31,636 Calmly plan a murder. 872 00:42:31,723 --> 00:42:34,116 Choose the victim. 873 00:42:34,203 --> 00:42:35,814 Maybe even someone political-- 874 00:42:35,901 --> 00:42:37,990 so I could do the world some good, you know? 875 00:42:38,077 --> 00:42:40,819 I'd have to think about it first for a few years. 876 00:42:41,994 --> 00:42:44,736 Hey, it can't be any dumber than getting married 877 00:42:44,823 --> 00:42:46,259 And going to work every day. 878 00:42:46,346 --> 00:42:48,000 I mean, it must be more fun. 879 00:42:50,219 --> 00:42:52,178 No nos spostato. 880 00:42:52,874 --> 00:42:55,921 Mr. Zee, I'm gonna be a little late getting back. 881 00:42:57,226 --> 00:42:59,664 It's hard to rush a funeral. 882 00:43:00,969 --> 00:43:02,623 As soon as I can. 883 00:43:07,454 --> 00:43:10,109 -What took you so long? -Just get in the car. 884 00:43:10,631 --> 00:43:13,329 I think you forgot to say "Please." 885 00:43:13,416 --> 00:43:14,853 Just get in the car, will ya? 886 00:43:16,985 --> 00:43:18,552 Oh, you're so manly. 887 00:43:24,906 --> 00:43:27,692 There. Uh, there's my wife. 888 00:43:29,389 --> 00:43:31,217 We were married for 35 years 889 00:43:31,304 --> 00:43:33,698 and she never once raised her voice to me. 890 00:43:36,962 --> 00:43:40,052 -So then you know what it's like to lose someone? -Mm. 891 00:43:40,139 --> 00:43:41,793 She went in the hospital 892 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,708 to have a boil removed. 893 00:43:43,795 --> 00:43:45,318 Never came out. 894 00:43:45,405 --> 00:43:47,146 I moved upstate, bought some gas stations. 895 00:43:47,233 --> 00:43:49,061 I did quite well, 896 00:43:49,148 --> 00:43:52,064 but I've had to learn to live with loneliness. 897 00:43:52,151 --> 00:43:53,369 Hmm? 898 00:43:53,456 --> 00:43:55,241 Life is that way. 899 00:43:55,328 --> 00:43:56,851 Who can explain it? 900 00:43:57,330 --> 00:43:58,853 I thought Phil and I 901 00:43:58,940 --> 00:44:01,813 would share the rest of our lives together. 902 00:44:02,074 --> 00:44:03,989 Now all I have left 903 00:44:04,076 --> 00:44:06,208 is his share of the garbage company. 904 00:44:07,035 --> 00:44:09,864 What am I going to do with a garbage company? 905 00:44:11,300 --> 00:44:13,694 I don't know anything about business. 906 00:44:16,088 --> 00:44:18,786 Perhaps you would be interested in buying me out? 907 00:44:18,873 --> 00:44:21,049 [chuckles] 908 00:44:21,746 --> 00:44:24,574 Well, maybe I could give you something 909 00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:26,794 for your part of the business. 910 00:44:26,881 --> 00:44:28,361 Something? 911 00:44:28,448 --> 00:44:30,363 What neighborhood of "something" 912 00:44:30,450 --> 00:44:32,147 would we be talking about? 913 00:44:32,234 --> 00:44:36,761 [both chuckle] 914 00:44:38,980 --> 00:44:41,113 -Will you be all right? -Yes. 915 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:42,810 -Bye, Mom. -And you? 916 00:44:43,332 --> 00:44:44,986 See you in the city, son. I'm taking Mitchie with me. 917 00:44:45,073 --> 00:44:46,945 I don't think riding that thing's good for his gonads. 918 00:44:47,032 --> 00:44:48,120 All right. 919 00:44:48,207 --> 00:44:49,774 My sympathies, Maria. 920 00:44:49,861 --> 00:44:51,645 Bye. 921 00:44:52,515 --> 00:44:53,952 Bye, Larry. Thank you. 922 00:44:54,039 --> 00:44:55,083 Bye-bye. 923 00:44:55,344 --> 00:44:56,824 Are you coming with us, Maria? 924 00:45:17,279 --> 00:45:18,890 Why are we here? 925 00:45:18,977 --> 00:45:20,543 I thought you were taking me home. 926 00:45:20,630 --> 00:45:22,328 Do you want to go home? I'll take you home. 927 00:45:22,415 --> 00:45:24,896 No, that's all right. I just wondered. 928 00:45:25,505 --> 00:45:27,246 What were you singing? 929 00:45:27,333 --> 00:45:29,422 I wasn't singing. 930 00:45:29,509 --> 00:45:30,945 Well, no, you just didn't think 931 00:45:31,032 --> 00:45:31,946 I couldn't hear you over the engine. 932 00:45:32,033 --> 00:45:33,165 but I could. 933 00:45:33,252 --> 00:45:34,993 You don't cry at weddings, 934 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,690 but you sing at funerals. 935 00:45:36,777 --> 00:45:38,300 You told me you weren't an interesting person. 936 00:45:38,387 --> 00:45:40,128 I'm not. 937 00:45:40,215 --> 00:45:42,000 Come on, what were you singing? 938 00:45:43,262 --> 00:45:44,350 I don't sing for people. 939 00:45:44,437 --> 00:45:45,830 It's private. 940 00:45:45,917 --> 00:45:47,092 Oh. 941 00:45:47,179 --> 00:45:48,920 Well, hum a few bars then. 942 00:45:49,921 --> 00:45:51,749 [hums] 943 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,056 Well, what song is that? 944 00:45:56,057 --> 00:45:57,363 [hums] 945 00:45:57,450 --> 00:45:58,886 [hums] 946 00:45:58,973 --> 00:46:01,323 Boy, I still have no idea. 947 00:46:01,410 --> 00:46:03,978 It's a Beatles song. Now guess. 948 00:46:04,065 --> 00:46:05,371 Oh, I hate to break this to you, 949 00:46:05,458 --> 00:46:06,938 but that tune has no resemblance 950 00:46:07,025 --> 00:46:08,940 to any song The Beatles ever recorded. 951 00:46:09,027 --> 00:46:11,377 It's "The Long and Winding Road." 952 00:46:11,464 --> 00:46:13,901 Oh, no. No, that goes more like... 953 00:46:14,206 --> 00:46:16,730 [hums] 954 00:46:18,297 --> 00:46:19,994 You're worse than I am. 955 00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:22,344 Are you going to push me off? 956 00:46:22,736 --> 00:46:24,172 I thought you trusted me. 957 00:46:24,259 --> 00:46:26,000 Here, hold on to my shoulders. Ready? 958 00:46:26,087 --> 00:46:28,002 Push. Push against me. 959 00:46:28,089 --> 00:46:30,222 Oh! Isn't that exciting? 960 00:46:30,309 --> 00:46:32,833 -I can't stop! -[laughs] 961 00:46:34,226 --> 00:46:35,836 Come here. 962 00:46:38,708 --> 00:46:40,275 ♪ Ta-da ♪ 963 00:46:40,362 --> 00:46:41,929 My boat. 964 00:46:42,016 --> 00:46:43,365 -[Maria] Oh, it's great. -[Larry] Yeah. 965 00:46:43,452 --> 00:46:44,671 [Maria] I mean, it could be great. 966 00:46:44,758 --> 00:46:45,933 Shecould be great. 967 00:46:46,325 --> 00:46:48,066 You always refer to a boat as a female. 968 00:46:48,153 --> 00:46:49,371 Why? 969 00:46:49,458 --> 00:46:50,851 Well, I guess if you're some 970 00:46:50,938 --> 00:46:52,287 sweaty sailor out at sea for a year, 971 00:46:52,374 --> 00:46:53,985 you need to use your imagination. 972 00:46:54,855 --> 00:46:56,857 What are you going to do with she? 973 00:46:58,337 --> 00:46:59,599 I'm gonna fix her up 974 00:46:59,686 --> 00:47:01,949 and I'm gonna sail off into the sunset. 975 00:47:02,950 --> 00:47:05,170 You have a rich fantasy life, don't you? 976 00:47:05,257 --> 00:47:06,171 Uh-huh. 977 00:47:07,563 --> 00:47:08,956 Don't you? Don't you have fantasies? 978 00:47:09,043 --> 00:47:10,262 -I do. I do. -Yeah? 979 00:47:10,349 --> 00:47:11,611 But they're private. 980 00:47:11,698 --> 00:47:13,395 I don't tell them to anybody. 981 00:47:13,482 --> 00:47:15,223 [Larry] Not even a dance teacher? 982 00:47:15,310 --> 00:47:17,399 Mm, you're not just a dance teacher. 983 00:47:17,965 --> 00:47:20,054 I can't figure it out what you are. 984 00:47:20,141 --> 00:47:22,013 Hey, isn't that what everybody wants? 985 00:47:22,535 --> 00:47:24,493 A smooth-sailing life? 986 00:47:25,059 --> 00:47:28,236 You can achieve that for a minute on a dance floor 987 00:47:28,323 --> 00:47:30,021 or the water. 988 00:47:31,457 --> 00:47:32,458 Look how lovely. 989 00:47:32,545 --> 00:47:34,199 Hmm. 990 00:47:37,550 --> 00:47:39,204 That one would look great on you. 991 00:47:39,291 --> 00:47:40,553 Oh, Tom hates me in hats. 992 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,816 Then I'll buy it for you. 993 00:47:43,338 --> 00:47:44,296 No. 994 00:47:46,515 --> 00:47:48,300 But the look on Tom's face... 995 00:47:50,302 --> 00:47:52,217 We'll take that one right there. 996 00:47:52,957 --> 00:47:55,133 What does your wife hate you to wear? 997 00:47:56,438 --> 00:47:58,179 Boxer shorts. 998 00:47:58,266 --> 00:47:59,615 She doesn't think they're sexy. 999 00:47:59,702 --> 00:48:01,269 Oh, I think they're very sexy. 1000 00:48:03,489 --> 00:48:05,491 We're gonna be bad. We're gonna be so bad. 1001 00:48:05,578 --> 00:48:08,886 [indistinct chatter] 1002 00:48:11,627 --> 00:48:13,064 Hey. I got him. 1003 00:48:13,151 --> 00:48:15,109 He's gonna buy. 325 loaded-- 1004 00:48:15,196 --> 00:48:16,589 chrome wheels, tinted glass, 1005 00:48:16,676 --> 00:48:18,983 alarm, phone, wool carpets. 1006 00:48:19,070 --> 00:48:22,116 Two more Beemers, and I...I win the trip to Vegas. 1007 00:48:23,422 --> 00:48:25,337 [woman] I don't even like the color. I mean, it's just-- 1008 00:48:25,424 --> 00:48:27,556 [man] Look, just sit in it. Just sit in it. 1009 00:48:27,817 --> 00:48:29,167 I don't like it. 1010 00:48:38,219 --> 00:48:39,177 Hi. 1011 00:48:39,264 --> 00:48:40,265 Hi. 1012 00:48:41,483 --> 00:48:42,963 Listen. 1013 00:48:43,572 --> 00:48:45,096 The beauty of the Subaru 1014 00:48:45,183 --> 00:48:47,185 is that it is so cost-efficient 1015 00:48:48,012 --> 00:48:50,492 that I bet a woman like you could talk him into one for him 1016 00:48:50,579 --> 00:48:52,364 and then one for yourself. 1017 00:48:53,626 --> 00:48:55,149 Do this. 1018 00:48:55,236 --> 00:48:56,455 Let me take you for a test drive 1019 00:48:56,542 --> 00:48:58,109 in that little blue wagon. 1020 00:49:19,217 --> 00:49:20,305 Hi. 1021 00:49:20,914 --> 00:49:22,350 [Tish] This way. Now see there? 1022 00:49:22,437 --> 00:49:24,222 Won't it go out further that way? 1023 00:49:25,353 --> 00:49:26,572 Yeah. 1024 00:49:27,094 --> 00:49:28,052 That's good. You're really doing that well. 1025 00:49:28,139 --> 00:49:29,401 That's really good. 1026 00:49:29,488 --> 00:49:30,402 I need to talk to you. 1027 00:49:32,186 --> 00:49:33,622 I'm with a customer. 1028 00:49:33,709 --> 00:49:35,363 But if you're interested in a makeover, 1029 00:49:35,450 --> 00:49:37,191 you'll have to wait your turn. 1030 00:49:37,278 --> 00:49:38,453 Now, I want you to try the dusty rose. 1031 00:49:38,540 --> 00:49:40,151 This is important. 1032 00:49:40,238 --> 00:49:42,240 So is my career. A line right there-- 1033 00:49:42,327 --> 00:49:43,284 Tish. 1034 00:49:43,371 --> 00:49:45,983 I'm with a customer. 1035 00:49:48,594 --> 00:49:50,117 [Tish] That--that works. 1036 00:49:50,204 --> 00:49:51,292 -Yeah? -Yeah. 1037 00:49:51,379 --> 00:49:53,294 Yeah. That definitely works. 1038 00:49:53,381 --> 00:49:55,949 Your husband is having an affair with my wife. 1039 00:49:58,691 --> 00:50:00,301 You are insane. 1040 00:50:01,085 --> 00:50:04,349 If I had any idea how insane you were, 1041 00:50:04,436 --> 00:50:06,612 I would never have let you start up with me. 1042 00:50:06,699 --> 00:50:08,309 Ha! What?! 1043 00:50:08,396 --> 00:50:10,094 You seduced me! 1044 00:50:12,705 --> 00:50:14,185 I'm sorry. 1045 00:50:14,272 --> 00:50:15,664 Uh, I'll be right back. 1046 00:50:15,751 --> 00:50:17,971 Take your time, honey. 1047 00:50:21,757 --> 00:50:24,543 Your opinion of Larry is a tribute 1048 00:50:24,630 --> 00:50:27,502 to your insensitivity to other human beings. 1049 00:50:27,589 --> 00:50:30,244 Larry would never have sex 1050 00:50:30,331 --> 00:50:32,159 with someone like your wife. 1051 00:50:32,246 --> 00:50:33,813 Yeah, I'm not worried about sex. 1052 00:50:33,900 --> 00:50:36,033 I'm worried about them having a relationship. 1053 00:50:36,685 --> 00:50:38,209 You've ruined my life. 1054 00:50:38,905 --> 00:50:41,473 And you are jeopardizing my new job here 1055 00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,215 as assistant manager of this department. 1056 00:50:44,302 --> 00:50:47,305 So if you'd like a private consultation, 1057 00:50:47,392 --> 00:50:49,263 please call for an appointment. 1058 00:50:49,350 --> 00:50:52,179 and if you ever come here and upset me again, 1059 00:50:52,266 --> 00:50:54,181 I will have the security guards 1060 00:50:54,268 --> 00:50:56,401 throw you out of the store. 1061 00:50:58,664 --> 00:51:00,231 Now where were we? 1062 00:51:00,318 --> 00:51:02,668 -Making the lips fuller. -Yes. 1063 00:51:03,321 --> 00:51:04,844 So I burned her underwear. So what? I'll buy her more. 1064 00:51:04,931 --> 00:51:07,325 I mean, can you--? He's sick. He's a beast. 1065 00:51:07,412 --> 00:51:09,501 How am I supposed to go anywhere looking like this? 1066 00:51:09,588 --> 00:51:11,807 Well, in some countries, bald is considered attractive. 1067 00:51:11,894 --> 00:51:13,722 I didn't marry you for your looks anyway. 1068 00:51:13,809 --> 00:51:15,333 I want a divorce. 1069 00:51:15,420 --> 00:51:16,725 Her and that lowlife appliance salesman 1070 00:51:17,770 --> 00:51:19,859 -aren't getting a dime. -He's not a lowlife appliance salesman! 1071 00:51:19,946 --> 00:51:21,600 Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm sorry, folks, but we're very late. 1072 00:51:22,340 --> 00:51:25,212 I had no idea your job was so dangerous. 1073 00:51:25,299 --> 00:51:26,605 Why are we running? 1074 00:51:26,909 --> 00:51:28,520 How about lunch? 1075 00:51:28,607 --> 00:51:30,435 -I'm not hungry. -Good. 1076 00:51:32,741 --> 00:51:34,439 [laughs] 1077 00:51:37,790 --> 00:51:39,748 Fish must be so happy. 1078 00:51:39,835 --> 00:51:41,359 [Larry] They must be. 1079 00:51:41,446 --> 00:51:44,275 They have mating rituals like Italian operas. 1080 00:51:45,102 --> 00:51:47,713 I hate to leave, this was such a great idea. 1081 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,280 Let's call in sick. 1082 00:51:49,367 --> 00:51:51,195 Maggie can take my classes. 1083 00:51:51,282 --> 00:51:52,500 I can't call in sick. 1084 00:51:52,587 --> 00:51:54,067 Then call in well. 1085 00:51:54,154 --> 00:51:55,895 Tell your boss, it's too beautiful a day 1086 00:51:55,982 --> 00:51:57,679 to take notes on other people's problems. Come on. 1087 00:51:57,766 --> 00:51:59,203 I'll call for you. You want me to? 1088 00:52:00,291 --> 00:52:02,075 I'll call for myself. 1089 00:52:06,775 --> 00:52:09,256 [Larry] If the lake were to swallow me up right now, 1090 00:52:09,343 --> 00:52:11,171 I would die a happy man. 1091 00:52:12,694 --> 00:52:13,913 It's been a long time 1092 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,089 since I've been this happy, too. 1093 00:52:17,612 --> 00:52:19,092 Is it just me, 1094 00:52:19,179 --> 00:52:22,313 or do you also have this uncontrollable desire 1095 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:24,402 to put our lips together? 1096 00:52:28,580 --> 00:52:29,755 We can't. 1097 00:52:29,842 --> 00:52:30,756 You're right. 1098 00:52:30,843 --> 00:52:33,150 We can't. 1099 00:52:33,585 --> 00:52:35,282 Why can't we? 1100 00:52:37,806 --> 00:52:39,765 Have you ever cheated on Tish? 1101 00:52:39,852 --> 00:52:42,202 Once. 1102 00:52:42,507 --> 00:52:44,073 In Monopoly. 1103 00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:46,075 I stole all her good properties 1104 00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:48,252 while she was doing her nails. 1105 00:52:48,904 --> 00:52:50,384 How about you? 1106 00:52:50,471 --> 00:52:51,994 [Maria] A Catholic schoolgirl? 1107 00:52:52,081 --> 00:52:53,518 -Yeah. -No. 1108 00:52:55,824 --> 00:52:58,175 So what will happen to us? 1109 00:52:58,871 --> 00:53:00,525 Well, we could be lovers, 1110 00:53:00,612 --> 00:53:02,266 or we could be friends. 1111 00:53:02,353 --> 00:53:03,832 We are friends. 1112 00:53:03,919 --> 00:53:06,270 If we're lovers, 1113 00:53:06,357 --> 00:53:07,880 we have to lie. 1114 00:53:07,967 --> 00:53:10,317 I don't think I can do that. 1115 00:53:10,404 --> 00:53:12,189 Yeah. Me either. 1116 00:53:13,755 --> 00:53:15,409 We could make love once 1117 00:53:15,496 --> 00:53:17,281 and then never see each other again. 1118 00:53:17,368 --> 00:53:18,369 Hmm. 1119 00:53:23,765 --> 00:53:25,550 Friends, then. 1120 00:53:25,898 --> 00:53:27,682 Very special friends. 1121 00:53:28,379 --> 00:53:31,469 Oh, Tom and Tish will be insane with jealousy. 1122 00:53:31,556 --> 00:53:32,600 So what? 1123 00:53:32,687 --> 00:53:33,819 Who cares? 1124 00:53:33,906 --> 00:53:35,386 We're gonna be innocent. 1125 00:53:35,473 --> 00:53:37,736 We'll be this great couple. 1126 00:53:37,823 --> 00:53:40,913 Years from now, we'll be in the Guinness Book of Records. 1127 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,915 "20 years," people will say, 1128 00:53:43,002 --> 00:53:44,960 "and they never had sex." 1129 00:53:45,047 --> 00:53:47,659 "You're kidding me." "No. It's true." 1130 00:53:47,746 --> 00:53:49,617 And all those years, 1131 00:53:49,704 --> 00:53:52,620 I'll be dreaming of kissing you. 1132 00:53:53,926 --> 00:53:55,580 With tongue or without? 1133 00:53:56,929 --> 00:53:59,192 How about just one? 1134 00:53:59,845 --> 00:54:01,368 Friends? 1135 00:54:01,455 --> 00:54:03,370 Remember. 1136 00:54:03,457 --> 00:54:05,285 What do you do on the weekend? 1137 00:54:06,112 --> 00:54:07,679 I spend as much time as I can with Chloe. 1138 00:54:08,549 --> 00:54:10,856 Tom loves to go to restaurants he cannot afford, 1139 00:54:10,943 --> 00:54:12,553 then complains all through dinner. 1140 00:54:13,772 --> 00:54:14,860 Bye. 1141 00:54:14,947 --> 00:54:16,557 Bye. 1142 00:54:17,689 --> 00:54:19,212 Hey! 1143 00:54:19,299 --> 00:54:21,345 Hey, let's pretend to meet at a restaurant. 1144 00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,698 Saturday night? 1145 00:54:26,785 --> 00:54:28,395 I'll bring my father. 1146 00:54:30,789 --> 00:54:32,486 [Larry] Mario's. 9:00. 1147 00:54:35,881 --> 00:54:37,535 Did you let it breathe? 1148 00:54:37,622 --> 00:54:40,277 Sir, I personally gave it mouth-to-mouth. 1149 00:54:45,978 --> 00:54:47,632 Excellent. 1150 00:54:48,241 --> 00:54:49,938 Does anyone ever send it back? 1151 00:54:50,025 --> 00:54:52,332 Not the house wine, sir. 1152 00:55:03,038 --> 00:55:04,649 Look who's here. 1153 00:55:05,911 --> 00:55:06,955 Hey, look who's here. 1154 00:55:07,042 --> 00:55:08,479 What a coincidence. 1155 00:55:08,566 --> 00:55:09,523 Hi. 1156 00:55:09,871 --> 00:55:11,395 Come join us. 1157 00:55:11,482 --> 00:55:12,787 Yes. By all means. 1158 00:55:12,874 --> 00:55:14,963 Really? Well, what do you think? 1159 00:55:15,050 --> 00:55:17,531 That'd be fun. What do you say? Yeah, that'd be great. 1160 00:55:21,013 --> 00:55:22,623 I've always wanted to come here. 1161 00:55:23,363 --> 00:55:25,496 What are those, children's portions? 1162 00:55:25,583 --> 00:55:27,324 The flowers are bigger than the food. 1163 00:55:28,281 --> 00:55:29,543 Could we get some more wine over here, please? 1164 00:55:30,762 --> 00:55:33,634 Look at all these self-satisfied pigs stuffing themselves. 1165 00:55:34,069 --> 00:55:35,723 People are starving. 1166 00:55:35,810 --> 00:55:36,985 Mitch. 1167 00:55:37,551 --> 00:55:38,944 You know, I really wish someone with an Uzi 1168 00:55:39,031 --> 00:55:40,815 would walk in here and take all this jewelry 1169 00:55:40,902 --> 00:55:42,600 everyone's showing off. 1170 00:55:42,687 --> 00:55:44,819 They're just symbols of a sick society. 1171 00:55:44,906 --> 00:55:47,648 Hey, I started out pumping gas when I was your age. 1172 00:55:47,735 --> 00:55:49,694 Now I own a string of stations. 1173 00:55:49,781 --> 00:55:52,044 And that can only happen in this society. 1174 00:55:52,131 --> 00:55:53,915 Please make them stop, Larry. 1175 00:55:54,002 --> 00:55:56,527 Oh, I think everybody's entitled to their own opinion. 1176 00:55:56,614 --> 00:55:57,919 -Don't you, Edie? -Oh, yes. 1177 00:55:58,006 --> 00:55:59,747 As long as they agree with mine. 1178 00:55:59,834 --> 00:56:01,532 [laughs] 1179 00:56:07,755 --> 00:56:09,453 So how you like this wine, Vince? 1180 00:56:10,454 --> 00:56:11,803 Let me put it to you this way. I'd rather have a case of the clap 1181 00:56:11,890 --> 00:56:13,370 than a case of this wine. 1182 00:56:14,806 --> 00:56:16,547 Oh, boy. 1183 00:56:17,243 --> 00:56:19,027 [Vince] See these prices here? 1184 00:56:19,114 --> 00:56:22,683 I think Phil would have wanted you to take us out to dinner. 1185 00:56:22,770 --> 00:56:26,600 I think Phil would have wanted you and me to split it. 1186 00:56:29,690 --> 00:56:30,735 To Phil. 1187 00:56:30,822 --> 00:56:31,779 Yeah. 1188 00:56:31,866 --> 00:56:32,867 To Phil. 1189 00:56:32,954 --> 00:56:34,521 [all] To Phil. 1190 00:56:40,919 --> 00:56:42,355 [scoffs] 1191 00:56:42,921 --> 00:56:44,401 Excuse me. 1192 00:56:46,141 --> 00:56:47,795 What's wrong with her? 1193 00:56:47,882 --> 00:56:49,362 I don't know. 1194 00:56:49,449 --> 00:56:50,668 She went to the ladies' room. I will go. 1195 00:56:50,755 --> 00:56:52,496 No, Mama. I'll go. 1196 00:57:00,112 --> 00:57:02,723 [sobbing] 1197 00:57:04,595 --> 00:57:05,857 Tish? 1198 00:57:07,075 --> 00:57:08,250 Open up. 1199 00:57:08,337 --> 00:57:09,730 [Tish] Go away. 1200 00:57:09,817 --> 00:57:11,645 Come on. Let me in. 1201 00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:13,821 [Tish] Please leave me alone. 1202 00:57:18,609 --> 00:57:19,610 Tish? 1203 00:57:20,741 --> 00:57:23,178 You bought him those terrible boxer shorts, didn't you? 1204 00:57:23,483 --> 00:57:25,050 I didn't mean anything by it. 1205 00:57:25,137 --> 00:57:27,139 It was just a joke. 1206 00:57:27,226 --> 00:57:29,968 Tom said you were having an affair, 1207 00:57:30,055 --> 00:57:31,709 but I didn't believe him 1208 00:57:31,796 --> 00:57:34,451 until I saw how you looked at each other. 1209 00:57:35,321 --> 00:57:37,584 We're not having an affair. 1210 00:57:37,671 --> 00:57:39,586 We've been playing a little game 1211 00:57:39,673 --> 00:57:41,545 to get back at you and Tom. 1212 00:57:42,633 --> 00:57:44,591 It's just gone too far. 1213 00:57:44,678 --> 00:57:45,940 I'm sorry. 1214 00:57:46,027 --> 00:57:47,725 She's so nice. 1215 00:57:48,856 --> 00:57:50,597 She's so nice. 1216 00:57:53,861 --> 00:57:54,819 [Larry] Tish. 1217 00:57:56,777 --> 00:57:58,692 Here, go get us some ice cream, Mitchie. 1218 00:57:58,779 --> 00:57:59,867 But I don't want to miss anything. 1219 00:57:59,954 --> 00:58:00,999 Ice cream! 1220 00:58:01,565 --> 00:58:02,783 Please get us some ice cream, Mitchie. 1221 00:58:02,870 --> 00:58:03,784 Don't talk to him like that. 1222 00:58:07,005 --> 00:58:07,962 Tish. 1223 00:58:08,049 --> 00:58:09,790 Tish, wait a minute. 1224 00:58:09,877 --> 00:58:11,966 -Son. -What? 1225 00:58:12,401 --> 00:58:14,795 -Are you bedding that woman? -Tish? 1226 00:58:15,404 --> 00:58:16,928 Well, Christ, son, I hope you're bedding your own wife. 1227 00:58:17,015 --> 00:58:17,929 No, the other one. Maria. 1228 00:58:18,016 --> 00:58:19,670 No, Pop, I'm not. 1229 00:58:19,757 --> 00:58:21,715 Well, you sure as hell act like it, both of you. 1230 00:58:21,802 --> 00:58:23,717 Well, I'm not. We're just friends. 1231 00:58:24,109 --> 00:58:25,980 Well, then, get your house in order. 1232 00:58:26,067 --> 00:58:28,766 Pop, if you don't stop bossing people around... 1233 00:58:28,853 --> 00:58:30,158 You know that tall building over there? 1234 00:58:30,245 --> 00:58:31,595 It's called a Hilton. 1235 00:58:32,204 --> 00:58:33,553 [Larry] Tish. 1236 00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:36,861 Tish. Come on, sweetheart. 1237 00:58:37,775 --> 00:58:40,691 Tish, come on. You're making a big deal out of nothing. 1238 00:58:41,082 --> 00:58:42,823 Tish, open up. 1239 00:58:43,258 --> 00:58:45,739 Come on, sweetheart. 1240 00:58:46,479 --> 00:58:48,481 Listen, you're not doing anything stupid in there, are you? 1241 00:58:50,091 --> 00:58:52,616 Oh. Hi. 1242 00:58:54,922 --> 00:58:57,490 Oh, we haven't seen this outfit for a while, have we? 1243 00:58:59,231 --> 00:59:01,668 You sure you don't want to talk about this, huh? 1244 00:59:02,016 --> 00:59:03,931 I guess not. 1245 00:59:04,018 --> 00:59:05,933 [door opens] 1246 00:59:06,020 --> 00:59:08,066 Phil? Oh, God. 1247 00:59:08,153 --> 00:59:10,503 What's happening? Hmm? 1248 00:59:13,027 --> 00:59:14,855 What? 1249 00:59:14,942 --> 00:59:17,162 Oh. Great, you think I'm too young to talk about sex? 1250 00:59:17,249 --> 00:59:18,903 Is that it? 1251 00:59:18,990 --> 00:59:20,252 You know, I've had sex. 1252 00:59:20,339 --> 00:59:21,819 Yeah. Sure you have. 1253 00:59:21,906 --> 00:59:23,037 I have. 1254 00:59:23,124 --> 00:59:24,865 She was 300 pounds. 1255 00:59:24,952 --> 00:59:26,954 And when I was up on top of her, 1256 00:59:27,041 --> 00:59:29,740 I was so high, my arms and legs didn't even touch the bed. 1257 00:59:30,697 --> 00:59:32,264 And when she breathed, I flew up and down 1258 00:59:32,351 --> 00:59:33,787 like I was on a trampoline. 1259 00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:37,791 Why the hell you make up all this nonsense? 1260 00:59:38,836 --> 00:59:40,272 I'm a multimedia artist. 1261 00:59:40,359 --> 00:59:41,795 That's what I do. I make up nonsense. 1262 00:59:41,882 --> 00:59:42,927 Wow. 1263 00:59:47,540 --> 00:59:48,933 Do you still have sex? 1264 00:59:49,020 --> 00:59:50,587 Rarely. 1265 00:59:52,284 --> 00:59:53,198 Do you miss it? 1266 00:59:53,285 --> 00:59:54,895 Yeah. Oh, God. 1267 00:59:55,592 --> 00:59:57,637 Then why don't you have it? 1268 01:00:00,118 --> 01:00:02,599 I've just been thinking the same thing. 1269 01:00:06,864 --> 01:00:09,780 [wedding march chimes] 1270 01:00:18,963 --> 01:00:21,139 Smile. Good. 1271 01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:23,097 Welcome to Weddingland. 1272 01:00:23,184 --> 01:00:26,057 And which joyous event will you be attending? 1273 01:00:26,144 --> 01:00:27,711 Uh, Kozinski. 1274 01:00:27,798 --> 01:00:29,103 The crystal gazebo. 1275 01:00:29,190 --> 01:00:31,802 A right, then a left. 1276 01:00:31,889 --> 01:00:33,760 Dusty, will you take them? 1277 01:00:36,850 --> 01:00:38,460 Macintosh. 1278 01:00:38,547 --> 01:00:40,375 The pink rose castle. 1279 01:00:40,462 --> 01:00:44,249 ♪ Isn't it romantic? Music in the night ♪ 1280 01:00:44,336 --> 01:00:46,207 ♪ A dream That can be heard ♪ 1281 01:00:46,294 --> 01:00:48,253 ♪ Isn't it romantic? ♪ 1282 01:00:48,340 --> 01:00:52,605 ♪ Morning shadows write The oldest magic word ♪ 1283 01:00:52,953 --> 01:00:54,259 Kiss. 1284 01:00:54,346 --> 01:00:57,001 ♪ I hear the breezes playing ♪ 1285 01:00:57,088 --> 01:00:58,872 Hey, good shot, Mitch. 1286 01:01:00,091 --> 01:01:02,963 Okay, together. Let me see the gut. Let me see the gut. Hey! 1287 01:01:03,050 --> 01:01:05,226 No x-rated pictures, you bad boy. 1288 01:01:05,313 --> 01:01:07,881 Weddings are joyful occasions. 1289 01:01:07,968 --> 01:01:10,057 They're Pagan rituals, okay? 1290 01:01:10,144 --> 01:01:11,929 He's got it under control, here, Aunt Sofia. 1291 01:01:12,016 --> 01:01:14,148 I had a good shot. She's stifling art. 1292 01:01:14,235 --> 01:01:15,889 Edie. 1293 01:01:15,976 --> 01:01:17,238 How are you? 1294 01:01:17,848 --> 01:01:20,067 Is that a dress you wear to a wedding? 1295 01:01:20,154 --> 01:01:22,243 -I made it. My own design. -Oh. 1296 01:01:22,330 --> 01:01:24,245 -See you later. -Bye. 1297 01:01:24,985 --> 01:01:27,858 That's a dress you wear to a hooker's wedding. 1298 01:01:27,945 --> 01:01:29,163 Good to see you again, Edie. 1299 01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:30,382 Hi, Vince. 1300 01:01:30,469 --> 01:01:32,645 -Sofia. -How do you do? 1301 01:01:34,168 --> 01:01:35,779 How are you? 1302 01:02:04,459 --> 01:02:06,157 -Howdy. -Hey. 1303 01:02:19,605 --> 01:02:23,870 ♪ A time for us Someday there'll be ♪ 1304 01:02:23,957 --> 01:02:26,090 ♪ When chains are torn ♪ 1305 01:02:26,177 --> 01:02:27,091 Ah! 1306 01:02:28,266 --> 01:02:29,789 Speak up. 1307 01:02:31,269 --> 01:02:35,012 ♪ A time When dreams deny ♪ 1308 01:02:36,404 --> 01:02:37,971 That is a beautiful dress. 1309 01:02:38,058 --> 01:02:40,017 Here's looking at you, kid. 1310 01:02:40,321 --> 01:02:41,845 Weddings really turn me on. 1311 01:02:44,238 --> 01:02:45,762 Oh, yeah. 1312 01:02:46,458 --> 01:02:48,025 Music going all the time. 1313 01:02:49,330 --> 01:02:50,854 I can't live without music. 1314 01:02:50,941 --> 01:02:52,464 Look at her. 1315 01:02:53,117 --> 01:02:56,250 Look at her. It's not enough she killed the first one. 1316 01:02:56,729 --> 01:02:59,906 Now she's out to kill the brother, too. 1317 01:03:00,167 --> 01:03:01,908 The kiss of death. 1318 01:03:04,432 --> 01:03:05,651 You're a sight for sore eyes. 1319 01:03:05,738 --> 01:03:07,174 You know that, don't you? 1320 01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:10,090 I am an old lonely woman. 1321 01:03:10,177 --> 01:03:11,526 My life is over. 1322 01:03:11,613 --> 01:03:14,007 I try to be a good grandmother now. 1323 01:03:14,094 --> 01:03:16,227 I'm thinking of making jam. 1324 01:03:17,315 --> 01:03:19,012 I like your shoes. 1325 01:03:19,099 --> 01:03:21,754 It shows off your bubblegum toes. 1326 01:03:22,450 --> 01:03:24,191 What was I saying? 1327 01:03:24,713 --> 01:03:26,585 Giving me that crap about being old. 1328 01:03:26,672 --> 01:03:30,154 ♪ A world of shining hope For you and me ♪ 1329 01:03:30,241 --> 01:03:32,330 [announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, 1330 01:03:32,417 --> 01:03:35,115 at this time, we're so happy to bring on the dance floor 1331 01:03:35,202 --> 01:03:39,903 for their first dance, Mr. and Mrs. Dean Kozinski! 1332 01:03:40,904 --> 01:03:44,255 ♪ See the stone Set in your eyes ♪ 1333 01:03:44,342 --> 01:03:48,825 ♪ See the thorn Twist in your side ♪ 1334 01:03:49,216 --> 01:03:51,131 ♪ I'll wait... ♪ 1335 01:03:51,740 --> 01:03:53,960 -Dance with me. -Sure. 1336 01:03:54,047 --> 01:03:56,441 -What? -Huh? 1337 01:03:56,528 --> 01:03:58,095 Somebody dance with me. 1338 01:03:58,182 --> 01:03:59,139 Sure. Yeah. 1339 01:03:59,226 --> 01:04:01,098 What are you--? 1340 01:04:01,185 --> 01:04:04,057 ♪ And you give Yourself away... ♪ 1341 01:04:05,015 --> 01:04:06,451 ♪ And you give ♪ 1342 01:04:06,538 --> 01:04:08,540 ♪ And you give ♪ 1343 01:04:08,627 --> 01:04:12,718 ♪ And you give Yourself away ♪ 1344 01:04:12,805 --> 01:04:16,722 ♪ With or without you ♪ 1345 01:04:16,809 --> 01:04:20,682 ♪ With or without you ♪ 1346 01:04:20,769 --> 01:04:26,471 ♪ I can't live ♪ 1347 01:04:26,558 --> 01:04:29,866 ♪ With or without you ♪ 1348 01:04:32,216 --> 01:04:34,479 ♪ Ah ♪ 1349 01:04:34,566 --> 01:04:36,307 Go dance with your wife. 1350 01:04:36,394 --> 01:04:39,832 ♪ Ah ♪ 1351 01:04:40,615 --> 01:04:43,183 ♪ Ah ♪ 1352 01:04:48,580 --> 01:04:51,191 ♪ With or without you ♪ 1353 01:04:52,453 --> 01:04:56,283 ♪ With or without you ♪ 1354 01:04:57,154 --> 01:04:59,243 -♪ I can't live ♪ -Why don't we go for a walk? 1355 01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:05,466 ♪ With or without you ♪ 1356 01:05:05,553 --> 01:05:08,992 ♪ With or without you ♪ 1357 01:05:15,215 --> 01:05:17,217 The marriage business is sure booming. 1358 01:05:19,263 --> 01:05:20,873 Business is right. 1359 01:05:28,533 --> 01:05:30,665 Would you and your wife like a piece of cake? 1360 01:05:30,752 --> 01:05:33,320 Oh, thank you, but she's not my wife. 1361 01:05:33,973 --> 01:05:36,106 In that case, can I have your phone number? 1362 01:05:36,845 --> 01:05:38,195 -[woman] What are you doing? -Kidding! 1363 01:05:38,282 --> 01:05:40,023 -Congratulations. -Thank you. I'm kidding. 1364 01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:45,071 What do you think we would be like as a married couple? 1365 01:05:45,158 --> 01:05:46,159 Horrendous. 1366 01:05:46,246 --> 01:05:46,855 Awful. 1367 01:05:47,856 --> 01:05:50,294 Oh, sure. First you'd find me witty, charming, 1368 01:05:50,381 --> 01:05:53,079 fall in love with those cute sounds I make in the morning. 1369 01:05:53,166 --> 01:05:55,038 Then about three months, 1370 01:05:55,125 --> 01:05:58,084 you'd want to smother me with a pillow because I talk too much. 1371 01:05:58,171 --> 01:06:00,173 Oh, no. I love our talks. 1372 01:06:00,260 --> 01:06:03,002 Well, we talk now because we're not married. 1373 01:06:05,613 --> 01:06:08,094 -[Tish] They're in love. -[Tom] They're not in love. 1374 01:06:08,181 --> 01:06:09,182 They are. 1375 01:06:09,661 --> 01:06:11,445 And it's our fault. 1376 01:06:11,532 --> 01:06:13,056 I'm out. 1377 01:06:13,143 --> 01:06:14,144 They're not in love. 1378 01:06:14,231 --> 01:06:15,406 Here. 1379 01:06:15,493 --> 01:06:17,364 Have some of mine. 1380 01:06:17,756 --> 01:06:19,540 Why are you being nice to me? 1381 01:06:19,627 --> 01:06:20,846 To make them jealous, right? 1382 01:06:20,933 --> 01:06:22,282 I've always been nice to you. 1383 01:06:24,197 --> 01:06:25,372 Never. 1384 01:06:25,459 --> 01:06:27,418 Then how come you had sex with me? 1385 01:06:28,462 --> 01:06:31,422 'Cause I thought you were intelligent and going somewhere with your life, 1386 01:06:31,509 --> 01:06:34,686 Ha! But I've had cause to reconsider my first opinion. 1387 01:06:34,773 --> 01:06:37,254 I'm goin' somewhere. You think I'm going to sell Subarus forever? 1388 01:06:37,341 --> 01:06:39,386 Plus, I have a lot of deep thoughts. 1389 01:06:40,257 --> 01:06:43,086 I just have a hard time talking to women. 1390 01:06:43,782 --> 01:06:45,392 Well, you're talking to me. 1391 01:06:46,741 --> 01:06:48,352 You're different. 1392 01:06:49,483 --> 01:06:50,528 How? 1393 01:06:50,615 --> 01:06:52,443 I don't know. Different. 1394 01:06:53,574 --> 01:06:55,185 Different than Maria. 1395 01:07:02,366 --> 01:07:04,020 Maria's... 1396 01:07:04,542 --> 01:07:05,978 Too good for me. 1397 01:07:07,719 --> 01:07:09,721 You know, if Larry got a good job 1398 01:07:09,808 --> 01:07:11,549 and he stopped playing that trumpet, 1399 01:07:11,636 --> 01:07:13,290 I could be happy. 1400 01:07:13,899 --> 01:07:15,944 And you know, I wouldn't be attracted to someone like you. 1401 01:07:16,032 --> 01:07:17,642 -What the hell does that mean, "someone like me"? -[groans] 1402 01:07:17,729 --> 01:07:19,731 ♪ Hi ho the derry-o ♪ 1403 01:07:19,818 --> 01:07:21,341 ♪ The bride cuts the cake ♪ 1404 01:07:21,428 --> 01:07:23,387 ♪ The bride cuts the cake♪ 1405 01:07:23,474 --> 01:07:25,258 ♪ The bride cuts the cake ♪ 1406 01:07:25,345 --> 01:07:27,478 Hey, buddy, where you been, huh? 1407 01:07:27,565 --> 01:07:29,175 -Where've you been? -Where the hell's my wife? 1408 01:07:29,262 --> 01:07:30,394 -I don't know. -Oh, Tommy-- 1409 01:07:30,481 --> 01:07:31,917 Where's Maria? Have you seen her? 1410 01:07:32,004 --> 01:07:33,179 Don't worry about her, Tommy. Come on. 1411 01:07:33,614 --> 01:07:34,572 [woman] Come watch them cut the cake. 1412 01:07:35,573 --> 01:07:36,791 Let's go cut the cake. That's an idea. Let's go cut the cake. 1413 01:07:36,878 --> 01:07:38,489 Somebody stop him. Stop him! 1414 01:07:39,446 --> 01:07:40,404 [woman screams] 1415 01:07:40,491 --> 01:07:42,058 [screams] 1416 01:07:47,715 --> 01:07:49,500 Mama, the cake! 1417 01:07:49,587 --> 01:07:51,545 I know, don't-- I know. 1418 01:07:51,632 --> 01:07:52,764 [Edie] You go straight. 1419 01:07:52,851 --> 01:07:53,895 [Maria] Mama, you open the door. 1420 01:07:53,982 --> 01:07:55,288 [Edie] You go straight. 1421 01:08:07,431 --> 01:08:10,303 Sweetheart, are you going to be sick again? 1422 01:08:10,390 --> 01:08:11,478 Mm-mmm. 1423 01:08:11,565 --> 01:08:13,176 Lie still, dear. 1424 01:08:14,307 --> 01:08:15,700 I'll get a Hefty bag. 1425 01:08:15,961 --> 01:08:18,006 Can I use the phone to call a cab? 1426 01:08:18,094 --> 01:08:20,270 Don't be ridiculous. Take my car. 1427 01:08:20,357 --> 01:08:21,662 I'll stay here tonight. 1428 01:08:21,749 --> 01:08:22,924 You can bring it back tomorrow, 1429 01:08:23,011 --> 01:08:25,231 with a full tank of gas. 1430 01:08:25,971 --> 01:08:28,016 I'll bring it back tomorrow on one condition-- 1431 01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:29,496 to pick you up to have dinner. 1432 01:08:29,975 --> 01:08:32,760 Vince, we are not compatible. 1433 01:08:32,847 --> 01:08:35,067 Oh, come on, dinner. 1434 01:08:35,415 --> 01:08:36,460 On me? 1435 01:08:38,679 --> 01:08:40,377 All right. 1436 01:08:40,464 --> 01:08:42,422 You've made an old man very happy. 1437 01:08:42,509 --> 01:08:43,902 You are not so old. 1438 01:08:43,989 --> 01:08:46,339 Yeah, I know. And I'm not so happy. 1439 01:09:03,835 --> 01:09:05,532 He'll be fine. 1440 01:09:05,619 --> 01:09:08,666 This is so crazy. We haven't done anything. 1441 01:09:08,753 --> 01:09:10,233 They think we have. 1442 01:09:19,372 --> 01:09:20,634 We have to stop. 1443 01:09:20,721 --> 01:09:22,245 I know. 1444 01:09:24,508 --> 01:09:25,683 It's so unfair. 1445 01:09:26,336 --> 01:09:28,425 You've become my best friend. 1446 01:09:32,864 --> 01:09:34,518 But you know, 1447 01:09:34,605 --> 01:09:36,607 married men and women are only allowed 1448 01:09:36,694 --> 01:09:39,131 to be close friends in large groups. 1449 01:09:42,613 --> 01:09:43,788 For Tish. 1450 01:09:43,875 --> 01:09:45,355 Ah. 1451 01:09:51,883 --> 01:09:53,450 [car starts] 1452 01:09:54,712 --> 01:09:56,453 I'm gonna miss you. 1453 01:10:06,463 --> 01:10:08,029 Mitch, don't do that. 1454 01:10:08,116 --> 01:10:09,640 It's so cool. 1455 01:10:09,727 --> 01:10:10,858 Just don't. 1456 01:10:10,945 --> 01:10:13,339 -Feeling better? -Mmm. 1457 01:10:13,861 --> 01:10:15,428 Do you want me to leave? 1458 01:10:16,386 --> 01:10:17,604 No. 1459 01:10:17,996 --> 01:10:19,650 I will if you want me to. 1460 01:10:20,955 --> 01:10:23,480 I've always liked you so much. 1461 01:10:24,132 --> 01:10:26,222 I like you, too. 1462 01:10:27,397 --> 01:10:30,313 I was almost unfaithful to your father once. 1463 01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:31,836 I knew this was coming. 1464 01:10:31,923 --> 01:10:33,838 He was a barber. 1465 01:10:33,925 --> 01:10:36,362 He looked just like John Forsythe, 1466 01:10:36,449 --> 01:10:37,711 only bald. 1467 01:10:37,798 --> 01:10:39,409 And Italian. 1468 01:10:40,627 --> 01:10:42,150 I'm not sleeping with Larry. 1469 01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:44,065 But you are thinking about it. 1470 01:10:44,152 --> 01:10:46,154 He makes me feel good. 1471 01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:48,069 We talk. We walk. We have fun. 1472 01:10:48,156 --> 01:10:49,810 What's so wrong? 1473 01:10:49,897 --> 01:10:52,683 This walk you are taking is right into quicksand. 1474 01:10:52,770 --> 01:10:55,163 I haven't been happy with Tom in a long time. 1475 01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:57,427 Who says you're supposed to be happy? 1476 01:10:57,688 --> 01:10:58,950 Oh, excuse me. 1477 01:10:59,037 --> 01:11:01,387 I dare to want to be happy. 1478 01:11:02,606 --> 01:11:05,565 As my mother, pace l'anima sua, used to say, 1479 01:11:05,652 --> 01:11:08,916 "Primo alla famiglia e dopo il piacere." 1480 01:11:09,003 --> 01:11:11,702 Why always my problems have to be solved with proverbs? 1481 01:11:11,789 --> 01:11:13,486 You have a nice home and a beautiful child. 1482 01:11:13,573 --> 01:11:15,009 [Maria] An unfaithful husband. 1483 01:11:15,096 --> 01:11:16,402 That doesn't mean he doesn't love you. 1484 01:11:16,489 --> 01:11:17,708 It just means he's stupid. 1485 01:11:17,795 --> 01:11:18,926 I think Tom, in his own way, 1486 01:11:19,013 --> 01:11:20,711 wanted to get caught 1487 01:11:20,798 --> 01:11:22,495 because he's unhappy, too. 1488 01:11:22,582 --> 01:11:25,542 Well, you-- I just want to ask you a question. 1489 01:11:25,629 --> 01:11:28,284 And then I'll shut up and mind my own business. 1490 01:11:29,328 --> 01:11:31,678 Are you really ready to change your entire life 1491 01:11:31,765 --> 01:11:33,680 and the life of those close to you 1492 01:11:33,767 --> 01:11:35,378 for a dance teacher? 1493 01:11:37,031 --> 01:11:38,816 Until you are sure, 1494 01:11:38,903 --> 01:11:41,384 don't do anything you'll regret. 1495 01:12:32,739 --> 01:12:34,350 Sorry. 1496 01:13:08,079 --> 01:13:09,646 Don't move! 1497 01:14:26,636 --> 01:14:27,680 Ohh! 1498 01:14:27,767 --> 01:14:28,681 Whoa! 1499 01:14:28,768 --> 01:14:29,813 Whoa! 1500 01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:31,554 Aah! 1501 01:14:31,641 --> 01:14:32,729 Aah! 1502 01:14:36,994 --> 01:14:38,648 Moo. 1503 01:14:39,126 --> 01:14:41,085 Yeah. Moo. 1504 01:14:41,172 --> 01:14:42,565 [cows moo] 1505 01:14:42,652 --> 01:14:43,696 Moo. 1506 01:14:44,828 --> 01:14:46,438 Moo. 1507 01:14:49,833 --> 01:14:50,921 Oak Lane? 1508 01:14:52,052 --> 01:14:53,619 Round the bend. 1509 01:14:54,402 --> 01:14:55,969 Are you happy? 1510 01:14:56,056 --> 01:14:57,580 About what? 1511 01:15:07,241 --> 01:15:09,940 [man on TV] Now, what we've been involved in here in the greens 1512 01:15:10,027 --> 01:15:12,725 is to try to form and to lay out... 1513 01:15:12,812 --> 01:15:14,466 Hello. 1514 01:15:14,553 --> 01:15:16,947 We'd like to, uh, rent one of your cottages, please. 1515 01:15:17,034 --> 01:15:18,862 For how long? 1516 01:15:20,820 --> 01:15:22,039 Uh... 1517 01:15:22,692 --> 01:15:24,781 Just for the afternoon, thanks. 1518 01:15:28,001 --> 01:15:29,568 It's nice. 1519 01:15:46,280 --> 01:15:48,152 The fireplace works. 1520 01:15:48,239 --> 01:15:50,633 No room service, but the cafe off the highway delivers. 1521 01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:52,069 Menu's by the phone. 1522 01:15:52,809 --> 01:15:55,638 Oh, and yes, the paintings are for sale. 1523 01:15:59,076 --> 01:16:00,773 Well... 1524 01:16:00,860 --> 01:16:01,905 I love it. 1525 01:16:04,908 --> 01:16:06,562 Nervous? 1526 01:16:07,258 --> 01:16:08,781 Mm-hmm. 1527 01:16:08,868 --> 01:16:10,000 Me, too. 1528 01:16:23,274 --> 01:16:24,710 Oh, shit! 1529 01:16:24,797 --> 01:16:25,972 We broke the lamp. 1530 01:16:30,324 --> 01:16:33,197 I've wanted to do something like that my entire life! 1531 01:16:33,284 --> 01:16:34,894 [laughs] 1532 01:16:37,375 --> 01:16:39,638 Oh, look, your lip's bleeding. 1533 01:16:42,075 --> 01:16:43,686 I bit my lip. 1534 01:16:45,165 --> 01:16:46,863 Round three. 1535 01:17:57,237 --> 01:17:58,978 What's this? 1536 01:17:59,631 --> 01:18:01,851 They're all yours, Mitchie. 1537 01:18:01,938 --> 01:18:03,940 I'm going for the real thing. 1538 01:18:06,377 --> 01:18:07,987 ♪ I'm a love man ♪ 1539 01:18:08,074 --> 01:18:10,903 Samurai hair stylist. Yaah! 1540 01:18:10,990 --> 01:18:12,470 Hyah! 1541 01:18:12,557 --> 01:18:14,167 Jeez, I hope you know what you're doing. 1542 01:18:15,255 --> 01:18:17,257 ♪ That's what they call me I'm a love man ♪ 1543 01:18:17,823 --> 01:18:19,129 Don't know why I let you do this. 1544 01:18:19,216 --> 01:18:22,132 ♪ 6'1", weight 210 ♪ 1545 01:18:22,219 --> 01:18:25,483 ♪ Long hair And pretty fair skin ♪ 1546 01:18:25,570 --> 01:18:28,399 ♪ Long legs, And I'm all out of sight ♪ 1547 01:18:28,486 --> 01:18:31,881 ♪ Hey, little girl, I'm goin' to take you out ♪ 1548 01:18:31,968 --> 01:18:33,273 ♪ 'Cause I'm a love man ♪ 1549 01:18:33,926 --> 01:18:36,712 ♪ That's what they call me I'm a love man ♪ 1550 01:18:38,496 --> 01:18:40,977 ♪ Make love to you In the morning, girl ♪ 1551 01:18:41,064 --> 01:18:44,023 ♪ Make love to you At night, now ♪ 1552 01:18:44,110 --> 01:18:47,331 ♪ Make love to you When you think about it ♪ 1553 01:18:47,418 --> 01:18:50,029 ♪ I wanna make sure Everything all right ♪ 1554 01:18:50,116 --> 01:18:52,162 ♪ 'Cau-'cau-'cau-'cau- 'Cause I'm a love man ♪ 1555 01:18:53,467 --> 01:18:55,382 ♪ Ooh, baby, I'm a love man ♪ 1556 01:18:55,469 --> 01:18:58,342 ♪ That's what they call me I'm a love man ♪ 1557 01:18:58,995 --> 01:19:01,998 ♪ Baby, here comes The love man ♪ 1558 01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:07,003 ♪ 6'1", weight 210 ♪ 1559 01:19:07,090 --> 01:19:10,049 ♪ Long hair And pretty fair skin... ♪ 1560 01:19:15,359 --> 01:19:18,275 Mandarin egg rolls, shrimp cocktail, 1561 01:19:18,362 --> 01:19:20,320 turkey club sandwich, 1562 01:19:20,407 --> 01:19:23,367 and lox with scrambled eggs. 1563 01:19:23,454 --> 01:19:25,282 -Oh, and a chocolate cake. -Oh, yeah. 1564 01:19:25,369 --> 01:19:26,936 So what do you want? 1565 01:19:28,328 --> 01:19:29,590 French fries. 1566 01:19:29,677 --> 01:19:31,114 Oh, and French fries, please. 1567 01:19:31,201 --> 01:19:32,506 -With lots of ketchup. -Lots of ketchup. 1568 01:19:32,593 --> 01:19:35,205 Oh, and wait, do you have any champagne? 1569 01:19:35,292 --> 01:19:36,467 Oh, yeah. 1570 01:19:36,554 --> 01:19:39,165 Oh, great. Oh! And please hurry. 1571 01:19:39,252 --> 01:19:40,819 Tha-thank you. 1572 01:19:41,951 --> 01:19:43,779 [knock on door] 1573 01:19:44,214 --> 01:19:45,737 That was quick. 1574 01:19:46,390 --> 01:19:47,478 Yes? 1575 01:19:47,565 --> 01:19:49,045 [woman] It's the maid. 1576 01:19:49,132 --> 01:19:50,742 Would you like the bed turned down? 1577 01:19:51,961 --> 01:19:53,005 Uh, no, thank you. 1578 01:19:57,183 --> 01:19:58,924 I better call home. 1579 01:20:00,012 --> 01:20:04,016 Closer. Closer still. 1580 01:20:04,103 --> 01:20:05,452 Aah! 1581 01:20:05,539 --> 01:20:07,280 Closer still. 1582 01:20:07,367 --> 01:20:08,934 Aah! 1583 01:20:09,282 --> 01:20:11,023 ...Ser still. 1584 01:20:11,502 --> 01:20:13,286 I'll be with her till Tom gets home. 1585 01:20:13,373 --> 01:20:15,811 Don't worry. Where are you? 1586 01:20:16,463 --> 01:20:18,074 Can I speak to Chloe, Mama? 1587 01:20:21,077 --> 01:20:23,166 Hi, sweetheart. How was school today? 1588 01:20:25,124 --> 01:20:26,909 Leonard Pearson scratched you? 1589 01:20:26,996 --> 01:20:28,345 But this is awful. 1590 01:20:28,432 --> 01:20:29,868 Are you all right? 1591 01:20:32,175 --> 01:20:33,916 I'm gonna be home a little late tonight. 1592 01:20:35,439 --> 01:20:36,527 Why? 1593 01:20:37,049 --> 01:20:39,051 Because I'm seeing some friends. 1594 01:20:39,138 --> 01:20:40,923 But I'll be home to kiss you good night. 1595 01:20:43,360 --> 01:20:45,057 Be a good girl for daddy. 1596 01:20:46,189 --> 01:20:47,799 I love you. 1597 01:20:53,631 --> 01:20:55,198 I had to lie to my daughter. 1598 01:21:57,260 --> 01:21:59,262 I'll bet this is the first one she ever sold. 1599 01:21:59,349 --> 01:22:00,306 Mm. 1600 01:22:01,220 --> 01:22:03,092 It's late. 1601 01:22:03,831 --> 01:22:05,485 I'm sorry I fell asleep. 1602 01:22:05,790 --> 01:22:07,357 I fell asleep, too. 1603 01:22:08,532 --> 01:22:11,187 Does falling asleep mean we've finally gotten each other 1604 01:22:11,274 --> 01:22:12,884 out of our system? 1605 01:22:13,319 --> 01:22:14,364 No. 1606 01:22:14,451 --> 01:22:17,019 It means we were both tired. 1607 01:22:24,287 --> 01:22:25,897 I'd better go. 1608 01:22:27,159 --> 01:22:28,900 I'll call you tomorrow. 1609 01:23:23,346 --> 01:23:25,174 [creaking] 1610 01:23:56,640 --> 01:23:58,294 Your office called. 1611 01:23:59,730 --> 01:24:01,123 Because you called in sick, 1612 01:24:01,558 --> 01:24:02,298 they wanted to know if you were all right. 1613 01:24:03,603 --> 01:24:04,648 Are you all right? 1614 01:24:04,735 --> 01:24:06,171 Tom. 1615 01:24:07,085 --> 01:24:10,219 If, um, I hadn't acted like an idiot, 1616 01:24:10,306 --> 01:24:11,481 would this have happened? 1617 01:24:11,568 --> 01:24:13,091 You were just being you. 1618 01:24:16,616 --> 01:24:19,228 Sometimes a man thinks he has to prove himself 1619 01:24:19,315 --> 01:24:20,272 by being with a lot of women. 1620 01:24:20,359 --> 01:24:21,491 Tom... 1621 01:24:22,144 --> 01:24:23,754 If you're going to tell me about your infidelities, 1622 01:24:23,841 --> 01:24:26,104 I will have to leave you forever. 1623 01:24:35,722 --> 01:24:37,202 Oh, uh... 1624 01:24:37,637 --> 01:24:40,031 Chloe's teacher would like to talk to you. 1625 01:24:50,259 --> 01:24:51,390 Are you in love with him? 1626 01:24:55,873 --> 01:24:58,310 If I am, I'll get over it. 1627 01:24:58,789 --> 01:25:00,182 Yeah. 1628 01:25:02,097 --> 01:25:04,055 We were in love once upon a time. 1629 01:25:04,882 --> 01:25:06,231 We got over it. 1630 01:25:38,568 --> 01:25:40,352 [telephone rings] 1631 01:25:42,441 --> 01:25:43,486 [groans] 1632 01:25:45,792 --> 01:25:47,359 Yeah. Yeah. 1633 01:25:47,446 --> 01:25:49,100 You go near my wife again, 1634 01:25:49,753 --> 01:25:51,363 and I'll kill you. 1635 01:26:04,681 --> 01:26:05,682 Hey, Pop. 1636 01:26:05,769 --> 01:26:07,597 What's the matter? 1637 01:26:07,684 --> 01:26:11,078 My brother Phil just called me from the grave. 1638 01:26:11,166 --> 01:26:13,472 He said to stay away from Edie, 1639 01:26:13,559 --> 01:26:15,126 or he'd kill me. 1640 01:26:16,432 --> 01:26:17,781 You were dreaming, Pop. 1641 01:26:17,868 --> 01:26:19,391 No. 1642 01:26:20,044 --> 01:26:22,351 But she doesn't want me anyway. 1643 01:26:22,960 --> 01:26:24,701 Doesn't think we're compatible. 1644 01:26:24,788 --> 01:26:26,311 No. Don't do that. 1645 01:26:26,398 --> 01:26:28,226 Let me make you breakfast. 1646 01:26:32,622 --> 01:26:34,319 Hi. 1647 01:26:34,928 --> 01:26:37,366 I'm not leaving because I'm angry, or mad, or anything. 1648 01:26:39,716 --> 01:26:42,501 I want you to be free to make up your mind. 1649 01:26:42,588 --> 01:26:43,676 Where are you going? 1650 01:26:43,763 --> 01:26:45,765 My mom's. 1651 01:26:46,375 --> 01:26:48,551 I'll have the rest of my clothes picked up later. 1652 01:26:49,813 --> 01:26:51,031 Your mother gives you hives. 1653 01:26:51,118 --> 01:26:52,424 Wh-what are you doing? 1654 01:26:52,859 --> 01:26:55,253 Not this time. It's time I face up to her. 1655 01:26:56,602 --> 01:26:59,475 See, I'm not as dumb as you think. 1656 01:26:59,562 --> 01:27:01,390 I think you're the smartest person around here. 1657 01:27:02,042 --> 01:27:03,870 Now, wait a minute. Shouldn't we be talking about this? 1658 01:27:03,957 --> 01:27:05,437 No, I've made up my mind. 1659 01:27:05,524 --> 01:27:06,743 Well, at least let me help you here. 1660 01:27:06,830 --> 01:27:08,484 You can help me get a cab. 1661 01:27:15,099 --> 01:27:17,275 So how did your big date go last night? 1662 01:27:18,972 --> 01:27:20,670 Can you keep a secret? 1663 01:27:22,411 --> 01:27:23,542 Yeah, sure. 1664 01:27:23,629 --> 01:27:25,370 So can I. 1665 01:27:32,812 --> 01:27:34,249 You... 1666 01:27:36,816 --> 01:27:38,427 Mrs. Davidow, hello. 1667 01:27:38,775 --> 01:27:39,776 Hello, Mrs. Hardy. 1668 01:27:40,037 --> 01:27:41,473 Good morning, Chloe. 1669 01:27:41,778 --> 01:27:43,258 -Did you want to talk to me? -Mm-hmm. 1670 01:27:43,345 --> 01:27:44,520 Would you take over for a while, Elaine? 1671 01:27:45,999 --> 01:27:47,827 I'm concerned about Chloe's arm. 1672 01:27:47,914 --> 01:27:49,786 -She has a scratch. She said that-- -Excuse me! 1673 01:27:49,873 --> 01:27:51,788 She said that Leonard Pearson did it to her. 1674 01:27:51,875 --> 01:27:55,444 You know, it's time for us to do some serious sharing 1675 01:27:55,531 --> 01:27:58,185 and interfacing about Chloe, Mrs. Hardy. 1676 01:27:58,273 --> 01:28:00,492 Can I offer you a cup of decaf? 1677 01:28:01,058 --> 01:28:02,407 So what do you think? This is beautiful or what? 1678 01:28:02,494 --> 01:28:04,583 Isn't it gorgeous? Isn't it great? 1679 01:28:04,670 --> 01:28:06,803 Leather, the whole thing. What do you say we go for a ride? 1680 01:28:06,890 --> 01:28:08,065 I'll go grab the keys, huh? 1681 01:28:09,066 --> 01:28:10,676 Come on, come on. I'll get the keys, I'll be right back. 1682 01:28:11,068 --> 01:28:13,288 This is it. I can feel it. 1683 01:28:13,375 --> 01:28:14,854 I can smell it. I'm telling you, I'm taking them for a test-drive. 1684 01:28:14,941 --> 01:28:16,160 Do you hear what I'm saying? 1685 01:28:16,247 --> 01:28:17,509 I know it. I sell this Beemer, 1686 01:28:17,596 --> 01:28:18,902 I'm off to Vegas. I'm goin', man. 1687 01:28:18,989 --> 01:28:21,252 I got 'em. I got 'em. Got 'em. Got 'em! 1688 01:28:26,518 --> 01:28:29,260 Oh, my God, my God. 1689 01:28:33,786 --> 01:28:36,049 Yo, Mel, can you open up that window? 1690 01:28:36,136 --> 01:28:38,748 Wanna take the 750 for a test drive? 1691 01:28:38,835 --> 01:28:41,011 Can I tantalize you with something in the meantime? 1692 01:28:41,098 --> 01:28:42,534 I'm here to see Tom. 1693 01:28:42,926 --> 01:28:44,493 [man] A mistake, but I'll be right back. 1694 01:28:47,670 --> 01:28:48,714 Hi. 1695 01:28:50,150 --> 01:28:54,416 So... you're finally buying a car. 1696 01:28:55,808 --> 01:28:57,680 Thinking about it. 1697 01:28:58,289 --> 01:28:59,682 Hey, I'll see you later. I'll be right back. 1698 01:28:59,769 --> 01:29:01,292 Got it definitely under control. 1699 01:29:05,688 --> 01:29:06,732 I left Larry. 1700 01:29:08,038 --> 01:29:09,692 [crash] 1701 01:29:09,779 --> 01:29:12,869 [man] Are you crazy, you stupid shit? 1702 01:29:12,956 --> 01:29:14,479 Get that piece of... 1703 01:29:14,566 --> 01:29:15,872 [Tish] That was really great. 1704 01:29:15,959 --> 01:29:17,482 [Tom] It was great. 1705 01:29:17,569 --> 01:29:19,397 [Tish] It wasn't sogreat. 1706 01:29:19,484 --> 01:29:21,704 [Tom] What are you talking about? It was great. 1707 01:29:22,052 --> 01:29:23,575 [Tish] No, it was different. 1708 01:29:23,662 --> 01:29:27,187 Well, it's different in a bed. 1709 01:29:27,274 --> 01:29:29,886 No, it's not the bed. 1710 01:29:29,973 --> 01:29:31,714 It's different. 1711 01:29:32,192 --> 01:29:33,716 You're different. 1712 01:29:35,892 --> 01:29:39,678 Well, it's different now that you're, um... 1713 01:29:39,765 --> 01:29:41,506 Now that I'm what? 1714 01:29:41,593 --> 01:29:43,726 Now that you're, uh... 1715 01:29:44,074 --> 01:29:45,554 on your own. 1716 01:29:46,511 --> 01:29:50,820 Oh, my God. I just realized something. 1717 01:29:50,907 --> 01:29:53,866 You're one of those men who can only do this 1718 01:29:53,953 --> 01:29:55,302 because you're married. 1719 01:29:55,390 --> 01:29:56,739 You're not interested in anyone 1720 01:29:57,435 --> 01:29:59,916 -that you'd have to have some responsibility-- -Calm down! 1721 01:30:00,003 --> 01:30:02,919 You know, I'm up for a new position in the fashion office 1722 01:30:03,006 --> 01:30:06,792 and I took time out today because I thought that maybe you'd-- 1723 01:30:06,879 --> 01:30:08,620 You thought that maybe I'd what? 1724 01:30:08,707 --> 01:30:11,623 Nothing. There's a run in my panty hose. 1725 01:30:11,710 --> 01:30:13,538 [Tom] What's the matter with you? 1726 01:30:13,625 --> 01:30:16,933 I'm being tested and punished 1727 01:30:17,020 --> 01:30:18,717 for my stupidity. 1728 01:30:18,804 --> 01:30:20,676 Oh, I deserve this. 1729 01:30:32,949 --> 01:30:34,646 She looks much better. 1730 01:30:35,168 --> 01:30:37,475 Hey, what a great surprise. 1731 01:30:37,997 --> 01:30:40,739 I had no idea how much I loved sanding. 1732 01:30:41,261 --> 01:30:43,176 Is sandpapering going to be your next job? 1733 01:30:43,263 --> 01:30:44,656 I don't think so. 1734 01:30:44,743 --> 01:30:46,702 No, I was thinking that you and me 1735 01:30:46,789 --> 01:30:48,791 ought to open a restaurant some place. 1736 01:30:49,922 --> 01:30:51,054 Why, do you cook? 1737 01:30:51,141 --> 01:30:53,535 No, but I do dishes. 1738 01:30:55,188 --> 01:30:57,060 A restaurant where? 1739 01:30:57,147 --> 01:30:58,844 Somewhere where we could hang a sign 1740 01:30:58,931 --> 01:31:01,717 that says "gone sailing" anytime we want. 1741 01:31:02,979 --> 01:31:04,328 And people would understand? 1742 01:31:04,415 --> 01:31:05,895 "Understand"? Are you kidding me? 1743 01:31:05,982 --> 01:31:07,505 People will approve. 1744 01:31:08,332 --> 01:31:12,554 And what about your son? Wife? 1745 01:31:13,685 --> 01:31:15,948 Mitch goes to spend next term 1746 01:31:16,035 --> 01:31:17,733 with his mother in San Francisco, 1747 01:31:17,820 --> 01:31:18,995 then college. 1748 01:31:19,082 --> 01:31:21,127 Tish, I don't know what she wants, 1749 01:31:21,214 --> 01:31:22,738 but it certainly isn't me. 1750 01:31:29,135 --> 01:31:30,702 It must be beautiful out there. 1751 01:31:36,186 --> 01:31:37,753 Does that mean you're gonna come along? 1752 01:31:40,930 --> 01:31:45,282 Chloe has been lying about a boy attacking her 1753 01:31:45,369 --> 01:31:48,677 when actually she has been beating on him. 1754 01:31:50,113 --> 01:31:54,030 But the teacher thinks she's acting out her anger toward Tom. 1755 01:31:54,117 --> 01:31:55,771 Oh... 1756 01:31:56,336 --> 01:31:59,601 The other day she put a cat in the school dryer. 1757 01:32:01,907 --> 01:32:04,040 The teacher thinks, um... 1758 01:32:04,127 --> 01:32:07,130 it's because she doesn't get enough attention, 1759 01:32:07,217 --> 01:32:11,569 'cause I'm not doing a good enough job. 1760 01:32:12,309 --> 01:32:14,616 No. Now kids go through stages. 1761 01:32:22,798 --> 01:32:24,756 My husband and my daughter need me. 1762 01:32:31,110 --> 01:32:32,634 And us? 1763 01:32:35,027 --> 01:32:37,987 Us? Well, we do what generally people do... 1764 01:32:41,120 --> 01:32:42,861 Go on with their lives. 1765 01:32:47,387 --> 01:32:49,955 Maybe people aren't supposed to be happy. 1766 01:32:50,521 --> 01:32:52,610 No, I don't believe that. 1767 01:32:58,094 --> 01:32:59,835 I came to say goodbye. 1768 01:33:00,270 --> 01:33:01,837 I know. 1769 01:33:03,099 --> 01:33:04,709 Have you been crying? 1770 01:33:07,233 --> 01:33:08,800 I have. 1771 01:33:10,410 --> 01:33:12,761 I have been crying a lot lately. 1772 01:33:15,154 --> 01:33:17,809 I'm making up for all these years I didn't. 1773 01:33:23,293 --> 01:33:24,947 I'm fine. 1774 01:33:27,906 --> 01:33:30,735 And I'm only sorry we never had a chance to dance. 1775 01:33:45,837 --> 01:33:47,273 You all got to be crazy! 1776 01:33:47,360 --> 01:33:48,971 Pop, please, I've got enough problems. 1777 01:33:49,058 --> 01:33:50,276 Go home. I'll call you. 1778 01:33:50,755 --> 01:33:52,365 Larry, Larry, just listen to me for once. 1779 01:33:52,452 --> 01:33:53,845 If you love that woman the way I think you do, 1780 01:33:54,454 --> 01:33:56,065 sometimes in life you gotta fight to the death. 1781 01:33:56,152 --> 01:33:58,067 I am familiar with this philosophy, Pop. 1782 01:33:58,154 --> 01:34:00,417 I believe it's Attila the Hun who said it first. 1783 01:34:00,504 --> 01:34:02,158 Yeah? Well this is what your father Vincent Kozinski is saying first, 1784 01:34:02,245 --> 01:34:04,073 last, and always. 1785 01:34:04,551 --> 01:34:07,772 You've got only one life to live. 1786 01:34:07,859 --> 01:34:09,165 You can either make it chicken shit 1787 01:34:09,252 --> 01:34:10,949 or chicken salad. 1788 01:34:27,879 --> 01:34:29,098 Good chops. 1789 01:34:30,273 --> 01:34:31,100 I'm glad you like them. 1790 01:34:31,187 --> 01:34:32,144 My favorite. 1791 01:34:32,231 --> 01:34:33,929 I know. 1792 01:34:34,016 --> 01:34:35,060 Thanks. 1793 01:34:35,147 --> 01:34:36,975 You're welcome. 1794 01:34:44,026 --> 01:34:45,680 Maybe, um... 1795 01:34:47,899 --> 01:34:49,771 We can make love later. 1796 01:34:51,860 --> 01:34:52,948 Good. 1797 01:36:39,228 --> 01:36:40,838 Thank you. 1798 01:36:44,363 --> 01:36:45,843 [sighs] 1799 01:37:45,163 --> 01:37:47,383 Phil always said there was a future in garbage. 1800 01:37:47,470 --> 01:37:49,341 I just never thought it would be my future. 1801 01:37:49,428 --> 01:37:51,517 You were very generous in your business dealings, Vince. 1802 01:37:51,604 --> 01:37:52,736 Very generous. 1803 01:37:52,823 --> 01:37:54,216 Now, don't let it get around. 1804 01:37:54,303 --> 01:37:56,087 You're not such a tough guy. 1805 01:37:57,741 --> 01:37:59,482 A tough guy might've made a pass at you. 1806 01:37:59,569 --> 01:38:01,136 But not you! 1807 01:38:02,006 --> 01:38:04,226 Well, I'd say I got this big empty house in the country. 1808 01:38:04,313 --> 01:38:07,272 Come and visit me and we can celebrate. 1809 01:38:07,664 --> 01:38:10,319 I'd say I am too old for traveling. 1810 01:38:16,455 --> 01:38:17,848 [Edie squeals] 1811 01:38:23,071 --> 01:38:24,986 I love you, Edie. 1812 01:38:26,291 --> 01:38:27,858 My God. 1813 01:38:45,397 --> 01:38:47,225 [Sofia] All right. All right. 1814 01:38:47,312 --> 01:38:49,184 Auntie Sofia. 1815 01:38:49,271 --> 01:38:50,576 [Sofia] Poor angel, poor angel. 1816 01:38:50,663 --> 01:38:53,188 Okay. Okay, okay. 1817 01:38:54,450 --> 01:38:56,365 You still want to kill people? 1818 01:38:56,452 --> 01:38:58,497 No, they're too stupid. 1819 01:38:58,584 --> 01:39:01,065 You're telling me. Your grandfather's about to marry 1820 01:39:01,152 --> 01:39:02,937 the Bermuda Triangle. 1821 01:39:09,421 --> 01:39:12,294 Oh, that's very good news. Very good. 1822 01:39:12,772 --> 01:39:14,949 God bless you. 1823 01:39:18,648 --> 01:39:20,084 [Tom] Hi, Vince. 1824 01:39:22,391 --> 01:39:23,740 -Father. -A pleasure. 1825 01:39:23,827 --> 01:39:25,263 Uh, you know my son, I'm sure, huh? 1826 01:39:25,350 --> 01:39:26,351 Yeah, nice to see you again. 1827 01:39:29,833 --> 01:39:32,053 -Hi. -Hi. 1828 01:39:32,531 --> 01:39:33,619 You're late. 1829 01:39:33,706 --> 01:39:35,143 You've met Kathy, haven't you? 1830 01:39:35,230 --> 01:39:36,579 Kathy, this is Tish. 1831 01:39:36,666 --> 01:39:38,102 Hi. 1832 01:39:38,189 --> 01:39:40,235 Hi. It's nice to meet you. 1833 01:39:41,453 --> 01:39:43,586 What? What? 1834 01:39:43,673 --> 01:39:45,980 Start! Start! 1835 01:39:54,205 --> 01:39:56,033 It's too late. I did it. 1836 01:39:56,860 --> 01:39:59,080 Look at those kids. They're cute. 1837 01:40:33,201 --> 01:40:35,029 Here we go. 1838 01:40:40,382 --> 01:40:41,383 [dog barks] 1839 01:41:04,797 --> 01:41:08,497 Vincent, will you take this woman to be your wife? 1840 01:41:08,801 --> 01:41:10,325 Yeah. Can I kiss her? 1841 01:41:10,412 --> 01:41:11,587 Not yet. 1842 01:41:12,066 --> 01:41:14,590 -Say, "I will." -[Vincent] I will. 1843 01:41:14,677 --> 01:41:17,506 [priest] Edie, will you take this man to be your husband? 1844 01:41:19,595 --> 01:41:21,249 I will. 1845 01:41:21,336 --> 01:41:22,685 Vincent and Edie, you have made 1846 01:41:22,772 --> 01:41:24,600 this solemn covenant of marriage 1847 01:41:24,687 --> 01:41:26,471 before God and this company. 1848 01:41:26,863 --> 01:41:29,257 Always follow your bliss. 1849 01:41:29,344 --> 01:41:31,824 Always follow what your heart says. 1850 01:41:31,911 --> 01:41:35,306 I now pronounce you man and wife. 1851 01:41:35,872 --> 01:41:38,222 You may kiss the bride. 1852 01:41:47,318 --> 01:41:49,451 [applause] 1853 01:41:49,538 --> 01:41:52,367 At this point, ladies and gentlemen, we need the assistance 1854 01:41:52,454 --> 01:41:54,325 of a volunteer from the audience. Somebody-- 1855 01:41:54,412 --> 01:41:56,501 -Hey, me! -who wouldn't mind lending us a hand... 1856 01:41:56,588 --> 01:41:57,763 Sit, sit, sit! 1857 01:41:57,850 --> 01:41:59,330 or perhaps his whole body-- 1858 01:41:59,417 --> 01:42:00,592 And I think we have one here. 1859 01:42:00,679 --> 01:42:01,898 Hi, how are you, sir? 1860 01:42:01,985 --> 01:42:03,726 -What's your name? -Uh, Stan. 1861 01:42:03,813 --> 01:42:05,771 Hi. Uh, Stan, we're going to ask you to remove your jacket 1862 01:42:05,858 --> 01:42:07,512 if you wouldn't mind, 1863 01:42:07,599 --> 01:42:09,514 and Michelle will help you off with it there. 1864 01:42:10,080 --> 01:42:11,777 Another girl in here, huh? 1865 01:42:12,474 --> 01:42:13,953 Try not to be funnier than the magician, would you, Stan? 1866 01:42:14,040 --> 01:42:16,304 Just lie down, make yourself comfortable. 1867 01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:18,436 We don't have to stay here, darling. 1868 01:42:18,523 --> 01:42:19,959 I'm fine. 1869 01:42:20,046 --> 01:42:21,874 I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. 1870 01:42:21,961 --> 01:42:23,528 Why would I feel uncomfortable? 1871 01:42:23,615 --> 01:42:25,530 I mean, uh, I'm not if you're not. 1872 01:42:25,617 --> 01:42:27,141 Okay. 1873 01:42:28,490 --> 01:42:30,666 And... easy, boy. 1874 01:42:30,753 --> 01:42:31,797 Okay. Here we go. 1875 01:42:31,884 --> 01:42:33,277 -Ready? -Oh, yeah. Oh! 1876 01:42:33,364 --> 01:42:34,539 That's good, yeah. 1877 01:42:34,626 --> 01:42:36,628 Congratulations on your promotion. 1878 01:42:36,715 --> 01:42:39,370 It agrees with you. You never looked more beautiful. 1879 01:42:39,457 --> 01:42:40,632 Thank you. 1880 01:42:40,719 --> 01:42:42,330 I've redone the apartment. 1881 01:42:42,417 --> 01:42:44,897 It's sort of post-modern meets the Jetsons. 1882 01:42:44,984 --> 01:42:46,290 You should come and see it sometime. 1883 01:42:46,377 --> 01:42:47,378 I will. 1884 01:42:47,987 --> 01:42:49,424 I'm good now. I'm good. 1885 01:42:51,339 --> 01:42:52,557 And don't go away. 1886 01:42:55,473 --> 01:42:57,345 -You want a drink? -No, thank you. 1887 01:42:57,432 --> 01:42:58,607 -I'm going to get a drink. -All right. 1888 01:43:01,044 --> 01:43:04,265 [magician] We're going to show you something really puzzling. 1889 01:43:10,053 --> 01:43:11,533 I'm sorry. 1890 01:43:11,620 --> 01:43:13,535 Larry, do you know why I married you? 1891 01:43:13,883 --> 01:43:16,146 My money? 1892 01:43:16,581 --> 01:43:17,843 Your eyes. 1893 01:43:17,930 --> 01:43:19,280 I thought a man with your eyes 1894 01:43:19,367 --> 01:43:21,151 would never hurt a woman. 1895 01:43:21,586 --> 01:43:22,544 Have I? 1896 01:43:24,676 --> 01:43:26,200 No. 1897 01:43:27,418 --> 01:43:29,159 Good luck, Larry. 1898 01:43:29,812 --> 01:43:31,335 Thank you. 1899 01:43:40,736 --> 01:43:42,477 [magician] And now what we're going to do now 1900 01:43:42,564 --> 01:43:44,174 we'll introduce you to a little friend of mine. 1901 01:43:44,740 --> 01:43:46,350 Sammy the Saw. 1902 01:43:47,743 --> 01:43:49,397 Oh, you want to go home? 1903 01:43:49,484 --> 01:43:51,573 Good. Let's talk to Daddy. We'll go home, okay? 1904 01:43:51,660 --> 01:43:53,575 Hey, he didn't have that much to begin with. 1905 01:43:57,883 --> 01:44:00,582 [man] Oh, ho. Hold on, wait. 1906 01:44:01,365 --> 01:44:04,586 You know, I came this close to having her. 1907 01:44:08,590 --> 01:44:09,591 Ha! 1908 01:44:19,035 --> 01:44:21,429 -Now, that was fantastic. -Well, we're not finished yet. 1909 01:44:21,516 --> 01:44:22,778 Put him together later on. 1910 01:44:22,865 --> 01:44:23,909 I want to dance with my wife. 1911 01:44:23,996 --> 01:44:25,389 Give us a waltz, huh? 1912 01:45:02,470 --> 01:45:04,254 They look so sweet. 1913 01:45:31,586 --> 01:45:32,630 Hi. 1914 01:45:34,676 --> 01:45:35,677 Hi. 1915 01:45:36,460 --> 01:45:38,462 Tell your story walking, Larry. 1916 01:45:42,074 --> 01:45:43,685 Maria, would you dance with me? 1917 01:45:44,686 --> 01:45:45,600 No. She won't. 1918 01:45:45,687 --> 01:45:46,731 Please stop. 1919 01:45:46,818 --> 01:45:48,516 Larry, no. 1920 01:45:49,865 --> 01:45:52,650 Well, then how about spending the rest of your life with me? 1921 01:45:52,737 --> 01:45:54,304 What are you talking about? 1922 01:45:54,391 --> 01:45:55,914 You know, I haven't hit another human being 1923 01:45:56,001 --> 01:45:57,829 since the eighth grade, but if you want to fight, 1924 01:45:57,916 --> 01:45:59,222 I will fight. 1925 01:45:59,309 --> 01:46:00,615 -Please, please, please! -Fine. 1926 01:46:02,573 --> 01:46:03,792 What's going on here? 1927 01:46:03,879 --> 01:46:04,967 Pop, please, will ya? 1928 01:46:05,533 --> 01:46:06,969 I'm trying to make a little chicken salad 1929 01:46:07,056 --> 01:46:08,492 out of chicken shit here. 1930 01:46:08,579 --> 01:46:10,755 Maria, everyone is looking. 1931 01:46:10,842 --> 01:46:12,627 Wait a minute. 1932 01:46:12,714 --> 01:46:14,846 I've kept my part of the bargain for Chloe's sake. 1933 01:46:14,933 --> 01:46:17,675 Well, maybe Chloe deserves more than a bargain, Tom. 1934 01:46:18,763 --> 01:46:20,591 You come and get in the car with me right now, 1935 01:46:20,678 --> 01:46:22,593 or I'm leaving you for good. 1936 01:46:38,914 --> 01:46:41,482 Larry Kozinski, I would love to dance with you. 1937 01:47:34,796 --> 01:47:37,712 -Dance, please, everybody, dance. -Dance! 1938 01:47:37,973 --> 01:47:40,497 I'm taking my present back. 1939 01:48:19,057 --> 01:48:20,581 Yoo-hoo! 1940 01:48:29,764 --> 01:48:30,895 Mitch! 1941 01:48:30,982 --> 01:48:32,070 [Chloe] Come on, Mitch. 1942 01:48:32,157 --> 01:48:33,724 -Up! Here we go! -Mitch, come. 1943 01:48:33,811 --> 01:48:34,986 Come on quick, we gotta leave. 1944 01:48:35,073 --> 01:48:36,858 Come on, please! 1945 01:48:36,945 --> 01:48:38,686 Come on. Hurry up. 1946 01:48:38,773 --> 01:48:39,774 Mitch! 1947 01:48:39,861 --> 01:48:40,905 [Mitch] Wait, Dad. 1948 01:48:40,992 --> 01:48:43,604 Dad, Dad. Stop it. 1949 01:48:44,256 --> 01:48:46,694 What are you doing? What are you doing? 1950 01:48:46,781 --> 01:48:47,782 Come on. 132903