All language subtitles for Karmasa Bitch S02E06 Say No To The Dress 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP 2 0 H 264-ROSHI_track3_[eng]

MY NAME IS STEVE SCHIRRIPA,

AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT REVENGE.

Shell:
HE PROMISED ME.

LOST MY JOB.

I'VE LOST
MY SELF-ESTEEM.

IMAGINE YOU'VE BEEN CHEATED ON
OR LIED TO.

I ABSOLUTELY FELL APART.

Schirripa:
YOU'VE BEEN FLAT-OUT PLAYED.

WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?
WHAT ABOUT YOUR WEDDING DRESS?

DO WHATEVER THE [BLEEP] YOU WANT
WITH IT.

NATURALLY,
YOU WANT TO GET EVEN.

Kevin:
MY SISTER-IN-LAW SAID,

"WELL, YOU COULD PROBABLY
COME UP WITH A 101 THINGS

TO DO WITH IT."

Shell:
DADDY ALWAYS TOLD ME,

"IF SOMEBODY STARTS IT,
YOU BE SURE AND FINISH IT."

WHAT GOES AROUND
COMES AROUND.

THAT'S CALLED "KARMA."
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

--Captions by VITAC--
www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

IT'S SPRINGTIME
IN GAINESVILLE, GEORGIA,

AND FOR ROSEMARY SHELL,
A DIVORCED MOTHER OF TWO,

LOVE IS IN THE AIR.

THE ODDS OF FALLING HARD
FOR SOMEONE AGAIN

DIDN'T SEEM TOO GOOD,
UNTIL SHE MET WAYNE GIBBS.

WE'LL HAVE
THE CHAMPAGNE.

THANK YOU.
OH.

I WAS JUST IMMEDIATELY ATTRACTED
TO WAYNE.

Schirripa: RECENTLY SINGLE,
ROSEMARY IS SWEPT OFF HER FEET

BY THIS
SWEET-TALKING BUSINESSMAN.

HE SEEMED GENUINELY INTERESTED
IN ME AND WAS OVERLY ATTENTIVE,

AND WE HAD A GREAT TIME.

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

Schirripa:
SO ROSEMARY'S THINKING,

"MAYBE FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN
ISN'T SO FARFETCHED AFTER ALL."

Shell: IN MY HEAD,
I WAS THINKING, "OH, I FOUND IT.

I'VE REALLY FOUND SOMEONE
THAT'S TRUE TO BE."

HERE YOU GO,
DARLING.

MWAH!
THANK YOU.

EVERY DAY, IT JUST SEEMED LIKE
IT WAS BETTER AND BETTER.

Schirripa: AND AFTER
JUST THREE MONTHS TOGETHER,

ROSEMARY AND WAYNE'S
RELATIONSHIP IS ROCK-SOLID.

[ LAUGHS ]

Shell: HE WAS VERY INVOLVED
IN MY BOYS' LIVES.

All: YEAH!

Shell:
IT WAS A FAIRY TALE.

Schirripa: AND THINGS
KEEP ON GETTING BETTER.

ROSEMARY'S DREAM OF WALKING
DOWN THE AISLE WITH WAYNE

IS STARTING TO LOOK PRETTY GOOD.

I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW AMAZING THIS HAS BEEN.

Shell:
THE UNDERSTANDING THAT WE HAD

WAS THAT WHEN MY YOUNGEST SON
GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL

THAT WE WOULD GET MARRIED
AT THAT TIME.

Schirripa: NOW, GRADUATION
IS STILL A LONG WAY AWAY,

SO THERE'S LOTS OF TIME
FOR WAYNE TO POP THE QUESTION.

AND EVEN THOUGH
ROSEMARY KEEPS BRINGING IT UP,

HE NEVER QUITE GETS AROUND
TO ASKING.

Shell:
WAYNE HAD THIS WAY ABOUT HIM

THAT IF YOU BROUGHT UP SOMETHING

THAT HE DIDN'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT,

WHICH WAS USUALLY MARRIAGE,
HE'D PANIC.

HE LEFT FOR TWO OR THREE DAYS,

WHICH SHOULD HAVE GONE
"DING, DING" IN MY HEAD.

BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

BUT AS THEY GET CLOSER
TO THAT DEADLINE,

ROSEMARY GETS
THE ULTIMATE SUCKER PUNCH.

HER MR. RIGHT --
HE AIN'T SO RIGHT.

SOMETIMES EVEN
THE BEST-KEPT SECRET

HAS A WAY OF POPPING UP
WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

AND FOR ROSEMARY, THAT HAPPENS
ON A TRIP TO HER HAIRDRESSER.

THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME
THAT HE WAS SEEING ME,

HE WAS SEEING THE PERSON
BEHIND MY BACK.

I ABSOLUTELY FELT MY HEART
STOP BEATING.

I DON'T REMEMBER
LEAVING THE BEAUTY SHOP.

I WENT AND GOT IN MY CAR,
AND I JUST STARTED CRYING.

IT TAKES FIVE LONG YEARS, BUT
ROSEMARY FINALLY FIGURES IT OUT.

THAT WALK DOWN THE AISLE
IS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

HER HONEYMOON --
FORGET ABOUT IT.

Shell:
I WAS DOWN AS FAR AS I COULD GO.

I THOUGHT, "NOW WHAT?"

Schirripa:
ROSEMARY'S CRUSHED.

STRUNG ALONG
FOR FIVE LONG YEARS,

SHE DECIDES THAT THE ONLY WAY
SHE CAN FIX HER BROKEN HEART

AND TAKE BACK CONTROL
OF HER LIFE

IS BY MOVING AWAY FROM WAYNE.

THE COMPANY I USED TO WORK FOR

HAD AN OPENING
FOR AN H.R. DIRECTOR.

THIS WAS A JOB
THAT I HAD DREAMED ABOUT.

ONCE I ACCEPTED THE POSITION,
I DIDN'T TELL HIM.

I JUST LEFT. HE HAD NO CLUE.

Schirripa: ROSEMARY
PUTS HER HOUSE ON THE MARKET,

DRIVES 400 MILES TO START A
NEW LIFE IN PENSACOLA, FLORIDA,

AND PUTS WAYNE GIBBS
IN HER REARVIEW MIRROR.

I REMEMBER DRIVING DOWN.

I JUST LISTENED TO COUNTRY MUSIC
AND CRIED ALL THE WAY.

STILL DID LOVE HIM,

BUT I WAS GONNA PUT THAT JOKER
BEHIND ME AND HAVE A NEW LIFE.

AND THAT
SHOULD
HAVE BEEN
THE END OF THE STORY.

ROSEMARY LANDS A NEW JOB,

STARTS PULLING IN MORE MONEY
THAN SHE'S EVER MADE BEFORE,

AND MOVES ON.

BUT, OF COURSE,
THAT'S NOT HOW IT WENT.

THREE MONTHS AFTER THE BREAKUP,

ROSEMARY HAS TO GO BACK TO
GAINESVILLE TO SELL HER HOUSE.

SHE'S GOT SOME BUYERS WHO ARE
WORRIED ABOUT THE ROOF THAT --

YOU GOT IT --
WAS REPAIRED BY WAYNE GIBBS.

ROSEMARY'S GOT NO CHOICE.

SHE HAS TO TALK TO WAYNE
TO GET SOME ANSWERS.

I TALKED TO MYSELF, AND I SAID,
"YOU'RE GONNA BE VERY DISTANT.

YOU'RE GONNA BE VERY COLD."

ROSEMARY!
OH, MY GOD.

IT'S -- IT'S SO GOOD
TO HEAR YOUR VOICE.

AND HE IS JUST RELENTLESS.
HE HAS TO SEE ME.

NO.

Schirripa: WAYNE REFUSES
TO TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER...

HE SAID, "I LOVE YOU,"
AND HIS VOICE CRACKED.

Schirripa:
...AND SLOWLY REELS ROSEMARY IN.

Where do you want
to meet?

FINALLY WORE ME DOWN.
I SAID, "OKAY."

AND I REALIZED
I STILL CARED FOR HIM.

WE AGREED
TO MEET AND HAVE DINNER.

WHEN I ASKED WHERE,

HE SAID THE RESTAURANT
WHERE WE HAD OUR FIRST DATE.

AND I KNEW
THAT I WAS IN TROUBLE THEN.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
THAT EXPRESSION

"ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY"?

WELL, IN ROSEMARY'S CASE,

SHE COULD HAVE USED
A LITTLE MORE SHY.

Schirripa:
AFTER THREE MONTHS APART,

ROSEMARY SHELL
IS BACK IN GAINESVILLE, GEORGIA,

TO MEET UP WITH THE GUY
WHO BROKE HER HEART

AND FORCED HER TO END
THEIR FIVE-YEAR RELATIONSHIP.

I WAS NOT AN EASY PUSHOVER
THAT NIGHT.

I WAS VERY TOUGH.

Schirripa: WAYNE'S GOT
A TOUGH CALL TO MAKE, TOO.

IF HE WANTS
TO WIN ROSEMARY BACK,

THERE'S ONLY ONE SUREFIRE WAY
TO PROVE HE'S A CHANGED MAN.

ROSEMARY...

...I HAVE TO
ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Shell:
"WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

THE WORDS THAT I HAD WAITED
TO HEAR SO LONG.

AND I WANTED MYSELF TO SAY NO.

I REALLY MEAN IT.

BUT I SAID...

YES, YES!

[ LAUGHS ]

MWAH!

HEY, MAYBE IT'S TRUE.

MAYBE LOVE DOES ALWAYS WIN
IN THE END.

WAYNE IS FINALLY MAKING GOOD
ON HIS PROMISE.

ROSEMARY'S WAITED FIVE
LONG YEARS FOR WAYNE'S PROPOSAL.

I CAN TAKE
THE OTHER ONE.

SO SHE MAKES
ANOTHER TOUGH DECISION.

SHE QUITS HER DREAM JOB
AND MOVES BACK TO GAINESVILLE.

THAT JOB WAS IMPORTANT, BUT THIS
MAN WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME.

Schirripa:
THEY EVEN SET A WEDDING DATE --

DECEMBER 2 --
ONLY A FEW WEEKS AWAY.

THE DAY SHE'S WAITED FOR
IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER.

Shell: WHAT WE WANTED TO DO
WAS HAVE A SMALL WEDDING

WITH OUR FAMILIES.

I HAD THE CAKE ORDERED.

YOU KNOW,
I HAD EVERYTHING IN THE WORKS.

WE WERE SO HAPPY.

Schirripa: BUT THREE DAYS
BEFORE THE BIG DAY,

WAYNE LEAVES A NOTE
FOR ROSEMARY.

Shell: THE NOTE SAID,
"ROSEMARY, I'M SORRY,

BUT I CAN'T GO THROUGH
WITH THIS."

I ABSOLUTELY FELL APART.

[ SOBBING ]

I BELIEVED HIM,
AND LOOK WHAT HE HAS DONE.

Schirripa:
ONCE AGAIN, ROSEMARY'S CRUSHED,

SO SHE CAN'T BELIEVE HER EYES
WHEN WAYNE SHOWS UP...

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

...AND BEGS HER
NOT TO GIVE UP ON HIM.

Shell: HE CAME BACK
WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES.

HE SAID,
"I BELIEVE WE CAN WORK IT OUT."

HE TOLD ME THAT HE DID NOT
REALLY WANT TO CALL IT OFF

BUT THAT
HE WAS HAVING SOME ISSUES.

I JUST NEED MORE TIME.

I LOVE YOU.

Schirripa:
ROSEMARY DOES KNOW BETTER.

BUT HEY,
SHE'S STILL IN LOVE WITH THE GUY

AND CAN'T LET GO
OF HER DREAM OF MARRYING HIM.

Shell: I WANTED TO BELIEVE
THAT THERE WOULD BE HOPE.

Schirripa: BUT HOPE
GOES RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW

WHEN A FEW DAYS LATER,
ROSEMARY'S OUT FOR A DRIVE.

NOW, WHAT CAN I SAY?

WAYNE,
YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T KEEP SECRETS
IN A SMALL TOWN.

Shell:
I KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

AND AS THE DOOR STARTS TO OPEN,
I KICKED IT!

AND HIS EYES GOT ABOUT THIS BIG,
AND THE WORDS OUT OF HIS MOUTH

WERE,
"W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

AND MY RESPONSE TO HIM WAS,

"I CAME TO SEE THE WOMAN
WHO'S A BIGGER FOOL THAN I AM."

Schirripa: HER LOVE FOR WAYNE
IS DEAD AND BURIED,

AND ALL SHE CAN THINK ABOUT NOW

IS HOW TO BREAK THE MAN
WHO BROKE HER HEART.

ROSEMARY'S A CHANGED WOMAN.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE THIS MAN
REALIZE WHAT HE HAD DONE TO ME.

I DECIDED
TO CONTACT AN ATTORNEY.

THE FIRST ONE I THOUGHT OF
WAS MY FRIEND LYDIA

THAT I HAD GROWN UP WITH.

LYDIA,
HE PROMISED ME.

HE PROMISED ME A RING,
HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM,

AND THEN HE CHEATED
ON ME...TWICE.

LOST MY JOB.
I'VE LOST MY SELF-ESTEEM.

SHE WAS JUST MAD AND WANTED
TO DO WHATEVER SHE COULD

TO PUNISH MR. GIBBS
FOR WHAT HE HAD DONE TO HER.

I ALWAYS LIKED ROSEMARY,
AND, OF COURSE,

WE WERE BOTH FROM THE MOUNTAINS,
AND I REMEMBER THINKING,

"YOU JUST DON'T
DO MOUNTAIN GIRLS WRONG

AND GET AWAY WITH IT."

WE CAN SUE HIM
FOR BREACH OF PROMISE.

WE FILED A PETITION FOR
BREACH OF CONTRACT FOR MARRIAGE.

WE WANTED TO SEE JUSTICE,
AND WE REALLY WANTED HIM TO PAY

FOR WHAT HE HAD DONE
TO ROSEMARY.

DON'T WORRY.

WE'RE GONNA GET
THIS DONE.

WAYNE'S POSTURE THROUGHOUT
THE TRIAL WAS VERY TELLING.

HE SAT WITH HIS HANDS CROSSED,
LIKE THIS.

HE WAS NOT INVOLVED.

HE WASN'T LISTENING.

HE JUST ACTED LIKE
HE WAS WASTING TIME BEING THERE.

Sartain: NO CASE LIKE THIS
HAD BEEN TRIED HERE.

WE'RE VERY CONSERVATIVE,

AND I JUST WAS VERY CONCERNED
ABOUT WHAT A JURY WOULD DO.

Schirripa:
WAYNE AND ROSEMARY TESTIFIED

IN FRONT OF A JURY OF 12.

THE TRIAL LASTED THREE DAYS.

Shell:
THE JURY CAME IN, AND THEY SAID,

"WE FIND FOR THE PLAINTIFF
FOR $150,000."

I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY.

AND I KNOW PEOPLE GO,
"YEAH, RIGHT.

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MONEY."

I DIDN'T.

I WANTED TO CONVINCE 12 PEOPLE
THAT I HAD BEEN DONE UNJUSTLY.

THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST DIFFICULT
THING I'VE EVER HAD TO DO,

AND I THINK JUSTICE
HAS BEEN SERVED.

I THINK
IT SENT AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE

THAT YOU JUST CAN'T PLAY
WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES

AND WITH THEIR EMOTIONS.

HE NEVER INTENDED TO MARRY HER,

BUT IT COST HER
A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT FINANCIALLY.

SHE LOST HER HOME.

SHE LOST HER CAREER
BASED ON HIS PROMISE TO HER.

PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED
TO DO THAT,

AND HOPEFULLY HE'LL THINK TWICE

BEFORE HE DOES IT
TO SOMEONE ELSE.

MY DADDY ALWAYS TOLD ME
COMING UP, HE SAID,

"ROSIE,
TRY NOT TO EVER START ANYTHING.

BUT IF SOMEBODY STARTS IT,
YOU BE SURE AND FINISH IT."

SO I FINISHED THIS ONE.

Schirripa:
NOT ONLY DID KARMA MAKE SURE

THAT WAYNE "TWO-TIMING" GIBBS
GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HIM,

BUT SHE ALSO MADE SURE THAT
ROSEMARY FINALLY FOUND A GUY

WHO WASN'T AFRAID TO SAY,
"I DO."

BUT FOR A LOT OF GUYS,

SAYING "I DO" IS NO GUARANTEE
THAT LOVE WILL LAST FOREVER.

[ Voice breaking ]
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?

I WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN,
AND I WANTED TO MOVE ON.

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
Schirripa: SO THEN WHAT?

HOW ABOUT FINDING 101 WAYS
TO GET EVEN?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

[ Voice breaking ]
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?

WHAT ABOUT
YOUR WEDDING DRESS?

IT'S STILL
IN THE CLOSET.

DO WHATEVER THE [BLEEP] YOU WANT
WITH IT.

Schirripa: IT'S JULY 2009
IN TUCSON, ARIZONA,

AND JUST LIKE THE DRY,
HOT DESERT,

KEVIN COTTER'S MARRIAGE
JUST GOT SCORCHED.

I WAS VERY SHOCKED.

I NEVER THOUGHT
I WAS GONNA GET A DIVORCE.

WHEN THINGS WEREN'T GOING WELL,

I WAS HOPEFUL
THAT IT WAS A BUMP IN THE ROAD.

Colin:
MY BROTHER KEVIN WAS VERY HURT.

IT WAS DEFINITELY A VERY SAD
AND TRYING TIME IN HIS LIFE.

Schirripa:
AFTER 12 YEARS OF MARRIAGE,

KEVIN'S WIFE
DECIDED IT WAS OVER.

SHE PACKED UP AND MOVED OUT
JUST LIKE THAT.

SHE TOOK EVERYTHING,

EXCEPT THE ONE THING
SHE NEVER WANTED TO SEE AGAIN.

REALLY, REALLY? YOU'RE NOT
GONNA TAKE YOUR WEDDING DRESS?

YOU KNOW, AND I SAID,

"WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
ME
TO DO WITH IT?"

Schirripa:
AND SUCH A PRETTY DRESS, TOO.

I MEAN,
WHO KNOWS WHY SHE LEFT IT.

TO MESS HIM UP?

IT WAS LIKE A BAD SOUVENIR

OF A MARRIAGE
THAT BLEW UP IN HIS FACE.

Kevin: I WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN,
AND I WANTED TO MOVE ON.

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT,

BUT I FELT
LIKE LOOKING AT THE DRESS

WAS GONNA HELP ME
EXPEDITE THE GRIEVING PROCESS.

THE WEDDING DRESS DEFINITELY
SYMBOLIZED THE MARRIAGE TO ME

AND THE FACT
THAT IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.

SOMETIMES,
KARMA TAKES ITS OWN SWEET TIME.

IT'S LIKE THIS SPAGHETTI SAUCE.

YOU CAN'T JUST YANK UP THE HEAT.

YOU HAVE TO LET IT SIMMER
AND LET IT DO ITS OWN THING.

SO IT MAKES SENSE THAT
IT WAS OVER A DINNER LIKE THIS

THAT KEVIN COOKED UP THE IDEA
OF WHAT TO DO WITH THE DRESS.

NEEDS SOME SALT.

SHE JUST LEFT
THE DRESS.

IT'S STILL
IN THE CLOSET.

UH, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH IT.

[ SIGHS ]

"WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK
I SHOULD DO WITH IT?"

AND MY BROTHER
JUST CHIMED IN IMMEDIATELY.

MY INITIAL REACTION WAS THAT
HE SHOULD WIPE HIS BUTT WITH IT.

WHICH IS FUNNY.

I DON'T KNOW
IF I LAUGHED OR NOT.

I WASN'T IN A GREAT MOOD.

BUT, THEN,
MY SISTER-IN-LAW JENNY SAID,

"WELL, YOU COULD PROBABLY
COME UP WITH 101 THINGS

TO DO WITH IT."

AH.
HOW ABOUT A, UH, PARACHUTE?

OR A,
UH -- A FISHING NET?

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

Kevin:
WE PULLED OUT A PEN AND A PAPER

AND JUST STARTED RATTLING OFF

EVERY ABSURD WEDDING-DRESS USE
WE COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF.

[ LAUGHS ]

Schirripa:
COMING UP WITH A LIST OF USES

FOR A USELESS WEDDING DRESS

GIVES KEVIN SOME LAUGHS
AND SOME GOOD THERAPY.

A FEW WEEKS LATER,
HE'S FEELING EVEN BETTER

WHEN KEVIN AND COLIN
GO ON A FISHING TRIP

TO TEST OUT A FEW IDEAS
ON HIS LIST.

THE FIRST NIGHT,
WE BUILD A CAMPFIRE.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

SO I WAS SITTING ON THE BOX,
CAMPFIRE CHAIR.

IT MADE A FINE SEAT.

TABLECLOTH WAS THE SECOND
APPLICATION FOR THE DRESS.

AND, THEN, OUTSIDE THE R.V.,

WE WERE USING IT
TO WIPE OUR FEET ON.

I USED IT AS A BLANKET
ONE NIGHT.

WE CALLED THAT "SLEEPING BAG."

THIS IS LIKELY THE FIRST FLY

EVER PRODUCED
WITH A WEDDING DRESS.

MY PRIORITY WAS FISHING,
YOU KNOW?

AS THE DRESS WAS GETTING WORN
DOWN AND DIRTIER AND DIRTIER,

I WAS HEADED IN THE OTHER
DIRECTION, WHICH FELT GREAT.

WELL, IT WASN'T YOUR AVERAGE
WEEKEND AWAY WITH THE BOYS,

BUT, HEY, KARMA SURE ENJOYED
THIS FISHING TRIP.

TURNING SOMETHING SAD
INTO A JOKE --

WELL, THAT BEATS
A DAY AT THE SPA ANYTIME.

SO WHY WOULD KEVIN STOP THERE?

TROUT.

I LOVE TROUT.

TO FIND OUT MORE OF WHAT I THINK
ABOUT THESE STORIES,

GO TO
investigationdiscovery.com.

Schirripa:
KEVIN COTTER'S WIFE OF 12 YEARS

WALKED OUT AND LEFT HIM

WITH ONE WEDDING DRESS
AND NOTHING ELSE.

DO WHATEVER THE [BLEEP] YOU WANT
WITH IT.

YOU KNOW THAT WAS SOLID ADVICE,

'CAUSE THE MORE
HE THOUGHT ABOUT THE DRESS,

THE MORE HE AND HIS BROTHER
CAME UP WITH NEW USES FOR IT.

SO, AFTER OUR FISHING TRIP...

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

...COLIN AND I WOULD TRY TO,
YOU KNOW, KNOCK OUT

MAYBE LIKE THREE OR FOUR
APPLICATIONS EVERY WEEK OR SO.

IT'S A BIG DRESS. [ CHUCKLES ]

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
THAT'S A LOT OF FABRIC.

WE HAVE A LOT TO WORK WITH HERE.

Schirripa: SOME OF THE THINGS
THEY CAME UP WITH

WEREN'T EXACTLY LADYLIKE.

WE DETERMINED
WE WERE GONNA SELECT

THE MANLIEST APPLICATIONS --

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
CHECKING THE OIL IN YOUR CAR.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

Colin: THE SCARECROW
CAME TOGETHER QUITE NATURALLY.

Kevin:
GRILL COVER.

I LEFT IT ON THE GRILL
FOR AWHILE.

IT JUST FIT SO PERFECTLY.

I DIDN'T REALIZE WHEN WE STARTED
DOING THESE UNUSUAL THINGS

WITH MY EX-WIFE'S WEDDING DRESS

THAT IT WAS GONNA FEEL SO GOOD,
YOU KNOW?

WE LAUGHED A LOT.

[ LAUGHS ]

DEFINITELY GOT
SOME COMIC RELIEF.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

I DO THINK THAT THE LAUGHTER
PROVIDED SOME HEALING BENEFIT

FOR MY BROTHER.

Schirripa: SO NOW THAT KEVIN'S
GOT A FRESH, NEW LOOK ON LIFE,

HE DECIDES
TO SHARE HIS EXPERIENCES ONLINE

TO GIVE OTHER BROKEN HEARTS
A FEW LAUGHS.

I THOUGHT OTHER GUYS GOING
THROUGH WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH

WOULD APPRECIATE MY PICTURES.

Schirripa:
101 USES FOR A WEDDING DRESS.

WHO KNEW?

Kevin: I START THE BLOG
myexwifesweddingdress.com,

AND I STATED ON THE BLOG,
"I HAVE 60 WEDDING-DRESS USES,

"BUT MY GOAL
IS TO COME UP WITH 101.

HELP ME."

Schirripa:
KEVIN FINDS OUT IN A HURRY

THAT HE'S NOT THE ONLY GUY
WHO'S BEEN LEFT HIGH AND DRY.

IN JUST FIVE SHORT DAYS,
THE BLOG GOES VIRAL.

Kevin: I WAS BLOWN AWAY
BY THE FEEDBACK.

COLIN, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

THE HIT COUNTER'S GOING CRAZY.

WOMEN
AND
MEN.

I THOUGHT THAT WOMEN
WERE GONNA HATE WHAT I WAS DOING

BECAUSE IT WAS A WEDDING DRESS.

IT WAS THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

Schirripa:
75,000 HITS,

DOZENS OF SUGGESTIONS
FOR THE DRESS AND COUNTING.

Kevin:
SOME OF THE UNIQUE IDEAS

THAT I LIKED FROM COMMENTERS
ON MY BLOG --

JUMP ROPE WAS ONE
THAT I HADN'T THOUGHT OF.

HAMMOCK.

[ LAUGHS ]

SOMEBODY SUGGESTED HAMMER PANTS.

[ FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS ]

THE SNOW-CAMO APPLICATION
WAS A LOT OF FUN.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

Kevin: I DON'T HUNT, IT'S NOT
PARTICULARLY COLD HERE,

SO I WOULD NEVER THINK
TO USE A WEDDING DRESS

AS SNOW CAMOUFLAGE.

YOU KNOW,
AND THAT ENDED UP BEING

ONE OF THE BETTER PICTURES.

Colin:
I GOT TO LAUGH AT KEVIN

SCANTILY CLAD IN A DRESS
IN THE SNOW

AS HE FROZE HIS BUTT OFF.

Schirripa: SO FAR, THE DRESS
HAS SEEN A LOT OF ACTION.

BUT WILL IT STAND THE TEST
AND STRESS OF TIME?

Kevin:
IT'S THE MAKE-OR-BREAK.

I THINK IT'S PRETTY REMARKABLE

THAT YOU CAN PULL A CAR A MILE
WITH A WEDDING DRESS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY A WEDDING DRESS
NEEDS TO BE SO TOUGH.

I ACTUALLY CONTACTED THE
MANUFACTURER TO LET THEM KNOW

THAT THEIR GARMENT
IS UNBELIEVABLE.

IT LOOKS GOOD.

Schirripa: A WEDDING DRESS
THAT LOOKS LIKE

IT WAS TOSSED UNDER THE BUS.

WELL, MAYBE IT'S NOT
THE BEST FORM OF ADVERTISING

FOR ROMANTIC BRIDES,

BUT FOR KEVIN COTTER,
IT'S BEEN A LUCKY CHARM.

I THINK THE EXPERIENCE
WAS VERY VALUABLE

IN TERMS OF MY MOVING ON.

THE PREOCCUPATION
WITH THIS PROJECT

WAS REALLY A GREAT DISTRACTION

FOR ME AT A TIME
WHEN I REALLY NEEDED IT.

Schirripa: TODAY,
KEVIN'S WRITTEN A BEST-SELLER,

"101 USES
FOR MY EX-WIFE'S WEDDING DRESS,"

AND HE'S NOW GOT A NEW FAMILY.

Kevin: I'M IN A TOTALLY
DIFFERENT PLACE THAN I WAS.

I MET A YOUNG LADY.

WE GOT MARRIED, AND CURRENTLY,

WE'RE EXPECTING TWIN BOYS
PRETTY MUCH ANY DAY NOW.

WE'RE GONNA BE BUSY.

Schirripa:
AND WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN

WHO WALKED DOWN THE AISLE
IN THAT FAMOUS DRESS?

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY SHE'S NOT
EXACTLY HAPPY EVER AFTER.

AFTER THE BLOG CAME OUT, SHE DID
WANT HER WEDDING DRESS BACK.

WHICH IS CURIOUS, WHY SHE DIDN'T
TAKE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE,

AND NOW THAT IT'S TATTERED
AND GOT MUSTARD ON IT,

SHE WANTS IT BACK,

BECAUSE WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO
WITH IT AT THAT POINT?

Schirripa:
SO NOW IT'S THE WEDDING DRESS

THAT JUST KEEPS ON SAYING,
"I DO."

I ENCOURAGE WOMEN, YOU KNOW,
IF YOU'RE GONNA DUMP YOUR GUY,

AT LEAST LEAVE HIM THE DRESS.

GIVE HIM SOMETHING.

SO, WHO KNEW A BEAT-UP WEDDING
DRESS COULD FIX A BROKEN HEART?

I WONDER IF MY WEDDING TUXEDO
HAS 101 USES.

NOT THAT I'M EVER GONNA GIVE MY
WIFE THE CHANCE TO FIND OUT --

WHEN I SAID "I DO," I MEANT IT.

PERSONALLY,
I DON'T MESS WITH KARMA,

BECAUSE KARMA --
SHE CAN BE A REAL BITCH.