All language subtitles for Average Joe s02e03 Choose the Lion

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Previously on Average Joe. I made money.

Teddy is my father.

What makes you think Teddy is still
alive?

Americans, they escaped with the dots.

You'll get rid of this body and this
car. And this Billie Jean. I will see to

it myself.

We are going to find whoever did this to
you. But they will cause the

fingerprints.

Tell me what's happening. I don't know.
Wait, Teddy. Oh, my mama. Where is my

heroin?

Where's my heroin?

I should have done this on your wedding
day.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Beautiful.

Damn, I love black ass.

Talk to me.

These asses cannot be real, man.

Some of them are.

Most of them not. How do you tell the
difference?

Oh, shit.

If that thing ain't got dimples and
stretch marks and stand at attention,

ready to give your dick a high five from
two feet away, then it ain't from God.

Did you just say give your dick a high
five? I'm fucking high five.

I'd fucking love to see that. Oh, dear
God, please let him fall in love with

her instead.

She'd be way cheaper than Kathy's little
gold-digging ass.

You're going to tell him, right?

Come fuck me?

Can't this shit wait till tomorrow?

No. Oh, come on, man. We've been
tiptoeing around this shit too long.

It's got to be tonight.

It's going to kill the vibe.

Her name's Crystal.

Crystal Chandelier.

Crystal Chandelier. Yeah, I know. We got
it, man.

She's got her pussies off limits.
Obviously.

But our asshole's good to go. Oh, we
call him back. Oh, shit.

So I just got something to tell you,
fucker.

Yeah, no.

Lee, man.

Yeah, boy, life, right? And love and
marriage and your friends and the

friends that are honest. And fuck, you
know, life is tricky, right?

For the love of God, touch.

Lee, you know you're our brother. We
love you, right? Look, we just want the

best for you, both of us.

But?

Run.

Run as fast and as far as you can away
from Cat, the old gold-digging ass.

What?

How could she say that?

Why would you say that?

Lee, dude, she's spending your money
like waters.

I don't even know what that means. It
means your fucking money is going down

the fucking drain. She's like a little
sewer monster. All she do is just stays

down there and laps up all your shit.

Are you guys serious?

Wait, wait, are you jealous I finally
got somebody?

You're going to tell me this at my
bachelor party of all places?

What is wrong with you guys?

What the fuck am I supposed to do with
these?

I thought you guys would want to
celebrate in my union. Turns out I'm the

only one who wants to cheers to my
forever.

Okay, hold on. Just wait, wait, wait,
wait. Are you for real?

Like Kathy's your forever?

Yeah. Guys, she's my everything.

Well, if it makes you happy, that's all
that matters.

If you rock with her, we rock with you.

But if you ever change your mind, it's
forever.

Goodbye, bitch!

Put the

gun

down, Cap.

I'm all right.

I'm all right.

Tell Touch to put his shit down.

Touch?

Please take your gun off my wife.

You want to dance, huh?

You want to fucking dance? Pull the
trigger, bitch.

You think I won't shoot your white ass?

We in Africa, motherfucker.

They'll throw me a parade. You couldn't
fucking kill me if you tried. I already

shot you once before, Touch. Don't fuck
with me. Then just do it.

Fucking kill me right now. I'm getting
real tired of motherfuckers

underestimating me. Come on.

Shoot me.

Shoot me.

Fucking shoot me right now! Come on!

Enough!

You have disrespected my home enough.

Joe, Joe, I would have came clean if I
thought for even a moment that Ange and

Jen were in any real danger. Just shut
the fuck up.

Just shut the fuck up.

And you, you watched Jen grow up. She
loved her fucking Kathy.

You put her through hell again.

You didn't cause that, Joe.

You brought that shit into mine.

You never seem to remember that part, do
you?

I don't remember your fault. It's like
nothing.

Get the fuck out.

Joe, please. Get the fuck out!

Take this motherfucker with you.

Woo! That was some shit, right?

Fuck me.

So what's next?

We gotta find out who killed that kid in
the desert. That's what's next.

And then we gotta figure out what the
hell Teddy's been up to, because shit's

gotten weird.

You think he's alive, huh? See, I think
he's dead for real this time. And then I

think we gotta go back to fucking Billy
G's, because that dude is hiding

something. What are you talking about?

Chasing death.

Living off the adrenaline and shit, huh?
That's your new shit, your new fix,

right? Huh?

You... You actually believe that you,
like, Some type of fucking hero, huh?

Made of, like, Pittsburgh steel or shit.
Hold on a second, Joe. I just jumped in

to save your ass. No, no, no, no. You
stepped in to get shot. Oh, please,

Kathy. He wasn't going to fucking shoot
me. This shit is real touch.

I got to get my family back, and I can't
go home till I figure out why the fuck

Teddy pointed me here, why the fuck he
want me with money. I got to get home.

If you want to die, go ahead.

Just don't act like you're doing that
shit to protect me.

And until you start moving again like
you want to keep fucking breathing, stay

the fuck away from me.

Are you going to say anything?

What is there to say?

We fucked up and I got my ass kicked.

You never should have put a gun on Joe.

Did you see the rage in his eyes?

He was going to kill you, Leon.

And that wasn't about no gin or ass
either. That was about the drug money.

I pulled the gun on him because I wasn't
going to let his greed kill my husband.

Joe would never kill me.

What are you looking for? A motel.

For what?

We need to be looking for our passports
so we can get the fuck up out of here.

It's 3 a.m. The consulate is closed.

I don't need no consulate. I put a tile
tracker in our luggage. I know exactly

where our shit is.

And we need to go get it.

Now.

You're serious?

Badass.

Kathy, I just got my ass whooped.

People have been trying to shoot at us
ever since we got off a 17-hour flight.

It's our first day. I'm exhausted.

And you think it's a good idea to go out
in the middle of the night looking for

our luggage in South Africa from a guy
who was trying to kill us?

Yes.

Let me know how it goes.

Okay.

You just gonna sleep through this shit
like you do everything else in your

life? I need to get some rest, Kathy.

You do too.

Now, if you want, we can wake up in the
mornings, go about the place, see what's

up, before we try and get our shit back.
But if not, like I said, let me know how

it goes.

Fine.

Where we staying?

Penguin Motor Lodge.

It's got half a star.

Half a star? Fuck that.

Ain't no telling what we catch sleeping
there, no.

Well, then, if you want, we can sleep on
this bench, because that's about the

best we can afford right now.

Unless you got some money I don't know
about, then you can put us up at the

Ritz. No?

Well, then Penguin Motor Lodge it is.

May I open it to put it back? Sit.

You sure? I don't want to overstep. Open
it.

Okay, thank you.

What happened?

Last night, you know, Kathy is insane.

Leon's nutsack has turned to mashed
potatoes and... I saw all of that.

What I'm asking is, what happened to
you?

What would drive a man to stand in front
of a gun and beg for the

trigger to be pulled?

Look, I have spent enough mandatory
hours in front of a police department

trying to know exactly where this is
going.

I am fine.

Thank you for your concern.

Thank you for the water.

This is lovely. Sit.

I said sit.

You are not fine, and I'm not a
psychiatrist. I'm a thangoma. I'm a

spiritual healer.

I believe that all of our ancestors died
and protect us, protect the living, and

with their guidance and protection, we
are able to bring wholeness where there

is only emptiness.

Well, that's very cool, but I'm pretty
sure that my ancestors didn't make it

quite this far south.

Africa is the root of all.

creation that's what they say and you
and sisters they are definitely here

they're saying we are listening benjamin

nobody ever calls me benjamin

night that was nothing that you know
kathy pulled a gun on my best friend and

i stepped in to protect him that wasn't
about protecting joe

you you were trying to prove something
okay

that wound you hide is moving out of
your soul and it is infecting everyone

And these people, they are your only
family, aren't they?

Out of all the kin you could have
chosen.

That's interesting.

What I'm not hearing is, what happened
to your other family,

Benjamin?

I'd love to take you somewhere.

You want to take me somewhere? Where do
you want to take me?

Somewhere very special.

I don't think so. I can't leave Joe.

Yes, you can.

And you must.

Please.

Yeah, okay.

Fine.

This shit's not going to work if we're
not on the same page today, Lee.

Then I guess this shit ain't going to
work.

You remember when I used to work at the
bank?

And that first day that you came by my
window, I had seen you there so many

times.

But for some reason, you would always
avoid me.

You made me nervous.

Well, I'm glad you finally walked your
fine ass over.

Because from the moment we looked into
each other's

eyes, we knew that nothing else
mattered.

And we have been a team ever since.

One that nobody...

No, baby.

Not even a bankruptcy could fuck with.

Leon, I have rode with you until the
wheels literally fell off.

And then I got out and I stood beside
you and I fucking pushed.

Yeah, but where are we pushing to, Kat?

Because it's starting to feel like we
ain't going nowhere at all.

One step backwards, two steps forward.

Lee, we do this right, we can get our
life back and

then some.

I just gotta know that you're with me,
baby.

You don't have to manipulate me, Kathy.

I am forever with you.

So we doing this?

Under one condition.

Give me your gun.

You wanna be partners?

You gotta learn how to share power.

Okay.

Okay.

Now let's get our shit back.

Yeah. Fuck! Hey.

Hi. Hi.

Um, I need the car keys.

I need to go find my mom and dad.

You know, I've been trying to call them
since we got here, and I keep going

straight to voicemail.

I need to find them. Joe, I don't know,
maybe they're at our house waiting for

me.

Yeah?

No, I can't let you do that. It is not
safe, all right?

Joe, I'm not a kid. Stop treating me
like I'm a child. I know you're not a

child. Listen, Teddy put you in the safe
house.

Why would he put you in the safe house?

Because your house isn't safe.

Now listen, I don't know who these
motherfuckers are that tried to grab you

and are looking for you, but I do know
they are looking at your house.

So we got to lay low for a minute until
we figure out any of this shit. Figure

out why you here, why we here, why any
of this is fucking going on.

What?

Were you close with your mom?

Yes.

She was my everything.

And if your mom was missing, what danger
would stop you from finding her? Or

Jennifer? Or your wife?

No.

Can't help you. Joe!

This is bullshit!

Okay? Sorry.

That's a clue.

What the fuck?

What's the clue?

That whistle in the tape.

You know, Dad has a model train set in
our garage, and that whistle sounds

exactly like the one his train makes.

In your garage?

Yes. At your house?

Yes.

We should go to your house.

Wow. Mom. So when I say something...

Tell me you have found the Americans and
the girl.

No, Sipo.

And how many of my men have been killed?

Seven.

Well, six.

The Americans had killed six, and you
killed Kofi.

So that way we get a bank shot, seven.

So you can count.

You two are standing on death's door, my
friend.

One day I will give this land back to
our people.

And they will praise me like I praised
my father.

But this endeavor requires money and
weapons.

I need that girl.

We are looking.

Okay, we have men stationed everywhere.

Increase the bounty.

One million rand for each of the poor
Americans.

Two million rand for the girl.

Find them!

Let's go!

Welcome to Table Mountain.

This is one of Earth's few energy
centers.

And the slaves used to come here to find
refuge, solace, and power.

This majestic mountain, it represents
freedom and oppression,

life and death, joy and

pain.

Enjoy it, babe.

Like sunshine and rain, thinking now
God's telling you to enjoy it.

Okay? Pain, remember?

Wrong bass.

Big hit, no?

Maybe this was a mistake. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

It's my bad. No, I'm being a dick. I'm
sorry. I do that when I'm uncomfortable.

I apologize.

Sincerely.

Okay.

I want you to close your eyes. Yeah, no,
I'm not a big close your eyes kind of

guy, so I don't think so. You can trust
me, Benjamin.

Says the beautiful woman who pushes him
off the cliff.

Okay. All right.

Close my eyes.

Good.

Now I want you to take a deep breath.

Good.

Now I want you to breathe in all of the
pain you carry every day.

Breathe.

Now I want you to hold that breath.

I want you to feel your lungs expanding,
your blood pumping, and your heart

beating. You're all right.

Lift me in, Benjamin.

Allow me to see.

Lift me in, Benjamin.

Allow me to see.

You and mommy will be the bad guys and
I'll be the good guy.

That was extraordinary.

Your capacity to feel is like nothing
I've seen.

I don't know what you're talking about.
I didn't feel anything.

You did.

No.

I didn't.

I'm sorry.

Got a little dizzy. I think I was
hyperventilating, but I... It's okay.

Didn't feel anything.

Look, you are... You're a really great
lady.

I have no doubt.

I just... I'm really into this whole
Sangoma mumbo-jumbo that you're pushing

on me, so... Sorry.

best we get down the hill yeah i'd love
it if you could take me to a place

called billy g's to the american bar
kind of where all this shit started

revisit that cop shit you know
investigation

yes

of course

Yo, Chimo, let me ask you a question.

Would you rather fight a lion once or
three chickens every day for a year?

Idiot. I would fight the three chickens
every day for a year.

Are we?

Dude, that's like 1,095 chickens.

You know how once I saw two chickens
kill a zebra once? Three would just pick

you to death and then eat your bones.

So you would choose to fight a lion?

Mm-hmm. And what exactly are you going
to do, boxing?

I train first.

How do you train to fight a lion? And
how do you train to fight three little

chickens every day for a year, hmm?

They'll have enough time to learn your
technique.

And then one day, when you're tired,
hungover perhaps, that's when they

pounce. They pounce and they just pick
your eyeballs out. And then you call in

the sea to defend yourself.

And that's when they deliver the final
death blow.

Nice. In fact, only this morning I saw
you struggling to zip up your jacket.

Yet you think you're strong and agile
enough to fight a lion.

Even if I lost, I would rather go out
heroically battling a lion than murdered

by three little chickens. And when they
murder your dumb ass, the world will

know you as Chima the Chicken Shit.

When the lion rips and shreds you apart
in like five seconds, eats you and then

shits you out, the world will know you
as Edward the Lion Shit.

Just give me a minute.

Wait.

Stop it.

That's my first car.

I think they deny I'm Buick Riviera.

So me touching Leon, we worked on it
every day

for a whole summer, getting it right.

First time I thought Angela was in this
car.

It's a good car.

Love that car.

What the fuck is that at the bottom of
it?

It's a peach.

A peach?

Oh, I think I know what this is.

There's this bar that's called Ajay's
Cove.

Nasty, nasty place. Actually, yeah.

They have this alcohol.

It's called Mampur.

Mampur.

Peach moonshine. Peach moonshine, right.

And I've tried it once, and I thought I
was going to die. I vomited for two days

straight. Oh, God. Yeah, it turned me
upside down.

That's a place Teddy hung out, huh?

I mean, if he did, you didn't tell me
about that.

Also, it is the kind of place that you
don't really tell people you frequent.

It's dangerous.

Shooting, stabbing, so, yeah.

Wonderful.

And if I'm correct, I think this is how
you get in.

You hand this in at the door.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Pete, huh?

Noted.

I think we should get out of here. We've
been here long enough.

Joe, quick, please.

I just quickly want to go in and check
Pete. We got to go the outside and we

got to get past them.

Fine, fuck it. We got to go quick.
Quick, come, come.

It's gone back.

I need another favor. I'm going to send
you some photographs.

So please scan them for me and see if
any of them recently entered Cape Town.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's very kind of you to say that.

Well, I miss him a lot, really. I miss
him every single day.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Damn.

What? I got a swimming pool? I never had
a swimming pool.

No, don't.

Alani, don't.

Mama?

Mama?

do this to her.

She doesn't deserve this. Why would
anyone do this to her?

Imani, we have to go now. No, I'm not
leaving her.

I'm not leaving her.

Listen to me. I promise you I will take
care of your mother. I will bury her

myself.

But we have to go now. I have to keep
you safe and we have to go now.

No.

Leon, we've been out here for an hour.

Not a single person has come in or out
of that clubhouse.

And my tile tracker says that our
luggage and passports are in there.

Something's not right.

You don't feel it?

No.

Sorry, maybe it is weird that the same
guy who shot at us stole our shit just

to bring it to a rugby field.

Maybe he sold it.

To a rugby player?

They don't wear clothes?

Our clothes?

Have you actually seen a rugby match?

No. Those guys are beasts.

It's like football minus the helmet pads
in regard for human life.

Oh, you scared.

Yes. I'm definitely afraid.

I already got my ass kicked by a
middle-aged plumber. You think I can

take an entire rugby team?

Not to mention my Achilles.

All right, then. New plan.

Why don't we just take our law-breaking
answers and your broken-ass Achilles, we

go over to the consulate, tell them that
we lost our passports in the fucking

shootout.

See how that plays.

Shit.

Fine. But tell me we're going home to
Pittsburgh after we get our passports

back.

We can go home.

All right, then.

You alright? Yeah, I'm good. Okay.

Miss China is stunning.

Yes, thank you. I won it at auction.
It's the only one of its kind.

Commissioned by Winnie Mandela herself.

You, come.

Please hold this for me.

No, no.

If I wanted that, I would have put the
cup on its saucer.

I want you to hold the bottom in order
to retain the heat.

We gave you 700 kilos of our heroin on
your word that we would have 35 million

US dollars after our transaction.

We had some issues that delayed payment.

But I assure you, your money will be
with you by the end of the week.

Of course.

But with an additional 10% for our
kindness and our patience.

5%.

Do you have any idea what it must have
taken for a woman to represent the

various factions of the Afghan Poppy
Collective?

What I must have endured versus what I
could provide?

You will pay an additional 15% for your
tardiness.

In four days, when the shadow has passed
beyond our line, you will have paid up

$40,250,000.

Do you understand?

You are very amusing.

I admire your strength. You remind me of
my mother.

But tell me, what's to stop me from
killing you right now?

I kill you, I kill your friends and your
family.

That way I keep my money and your
heroin.

The Russians, the Americans, and then
the entire world. And still you have

not learned a thing about our people.

Say you understand.

I understand.

This way.

Shoot it off.

It's too loud.

Saw this on an episode of Heist.

It's the only time you can trust David
Morris' character.

Thread the fabric through the hole and
pull.

Well, damn.

Hey, what are you doing to my lock gun?

Why don't you take the gun?

When I felt like it. Focus.

Where's our luggage?

It's gone. I threw it away.

What? Our passports were in there.

Where's the watch?

What watch? Yeah, what watch?

Where's the watch?

There.

Yo, Diallo.

What the fuck is going on here? Hey.

We had just taken what was stolen from
us. She's got the watch in her face.

I see.

Then why don't you just put the fucking
watch back in the locker and kindly fuck

off?

Any one of y'all make another fucking
move, and I'm gonna make sure you all

touch down.

That's football, not rugby, baby.

Fuck if I know.

You're not going anywhere with that
fucking watch, bitch.

Ah! Fuck!

Get me out of here, baby. You fucking
shot me!

That's right. Stay back. Any one of
y'all move, you die. All right?

Fucking chase her, man.

Run.

Come dance with me. Come dance with me.

I was just trying to make sure that
you're okay. You shouldn't be in here.

Get out of here.

Benjamin,

it's okay.

Death is a part of my calling, all
right?

If there are any trapped spirits in
here, I can help them.

Please. Would it make a difference if I
told you I'm not asking you out? No.

What is this now?

Did they follow us here?

Shit. Okay. Okay. Okay, look. I can deal
with this, but you need to get out of

here right now.

No, but I'm not leaving without you.

What are you talking about? You're not
leaving without me. We just met. You

know that, right?

What is going on with you? Who do you
think I am?

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Please. Thank you.

Shit, wait.

Will you take these from me, please?

Fill us, please.

I need you to be safe.

Get out of here.

I got burgers and fries.

At least, I think that's what it is. I
mean, who knows?

Kathy, why did you have a $70,000 watch
hidden in our luggage?

Because $70,000 in cash would have never
made it to customs?

I meant, why did you have it at all?

Where did you get this?

I bought it.

How? Because I gave all the money we had
to fix them.

To help stitch you up the night you got
shot.

Well, not all the money.

I took the money from the Lambo and I
sold the kilo of heroin.

You sold the heroin without me.

Even after you got shot.

After you almost died in my arms.

I hid the money from the Lambo in the
hardware store basement. How the hell

did you find it?

That's what I do. That was our emergency
fund, Kathy.

And you don't think we're in an
emergency right now?

What if Teddy really is dead and our 700
kilos of heroin are gone forever?

What the fuck? What are we going to do
then?

I can take that watch and sell it in
whatever city we're in, and we can make

moves from there. Make moves?

Make moves?

No.

No, we said we were going back home so
we could start over.

I can't start over.

Yes, yes, you can.

You're right, baby.

Yes.

I can't.

But I don't want to.

The murders in Hout Bay yesterday
evening.

The Americans are considered armed and
dangerous.

And anyone with details regarding their
whereabouts are asked to call the Hout

Bay Police Department immediately.

Cat.

Cat!

Kathy!

We got a problem.

Leon, hold him.

Baby!

Leon!

Leon, baby, come on, get up, baby, baby!

Please!