All language subtitles for The Librarians The Next Chapter s02e08 And The Last Resort

The world of puppetry is a magical world
of imagination.

As you can see behind me, we have many
wonderful puppets of different varieties

developed all around the world. We have
marionette and puppets, sock puppets.

And what about me?

Why, you're a dummy.

Me? I ain't the one talking to dolls.

Hey, folks, tell me, who's the dummy?

Now, Percy, it would be nice.

Arthur, have you been drinking?

No. Then why are you talking to a piece
of wood?

He's trying to make me look stupid.

Boring.

Why the hell did our father keep this
guy around for so long?

The hotel is called the Marionette
Resort. It's the centerpiece of our

brand.

Well, it's time for a new brand.

Father batted himself on upholding the
past and celebrating our tradition.

And I'm going to make it into something
great.

I happen to think it already is
something great. You have no

imagination. I have ideas, Nadia.

I'm smart.

Modern. Just think what we could do with
this space.

A 3D theater.

Everybody loves 3D.

We could make the seats jiggle. Huh?

I have so many ideas, Nadia. So many.

No one cares. The only reason anybody's
watching is to see if your lips are

moving. And they are.

Am I right, ladies and gentlemen?

So listen, I just ripped the Band-Aid
off already.

We gotta let you go.

Puppet shows are so less entry.

But our families have worked together
here for centuries.

I couldn't make changes.

Oh, don't worry. We are making changes.

You need to move out of your trailer by
the end of the week.

I took the liberty of packing up the
puppets from the show for you.

But the show is my life.

You're gonna just let them do that to
us?

You're done running things.

I'm in charge now.

Where are you?

Yes. You need this on our vacation?

Vacation? I thought we were just
investigating a magical ley line.

I don't understand. Why are we
investigating this one? Because this ley

line happens to rest on the grounds of
the marionette resort and spa.

My old stomping grounds. Whenever I need
it, it's an hour and hour. Which, of

course, stands for revelry and
rumination.

No, it doesn't.

No. I'm packed. That's okay.

All right, this should take a couple
hours at most. Exactly, so we have time

for a little sojourn.

Guys, guys, we have been through the
ringer recently. Maybe a break will be

good for us.

No.

Librarians don't take breaks. We have to
find the ley line and contain its magic.

Uh, yeah. Charlie's right.

But weren't you just saying you don't
have enough time to read for pleasure

anymore?

That's true.

And they do look so lonely.

Well, that settles it.

Pack your bags.

Let the gaieties commence.

Let's go. No!

No vacations!

Now that we've approached the resort,
don't you just feel your worries melting

away? I'm worried you're not focusing on
the ley line and figuring out how to

neutralize it.

Do I have to remind you? This is not a
vacation.

A little vacation.

No vacation!

Marionette Resort and Spa.

Smells like an old friend.

So ready for some downtime.

Just me, some sun, and a book. Or
twelve.

Let's not forget why we're actually
here.

You worry for naught.

You see?

You see?

Dobre dan.

Welcome to the Marionette Resort and
Spa, celebrating over 200 years of

wellness. I am Nadia Bebek. My brother
and I are the owners.

You look so familiar.

I do?

Yeah.

He's just got one of those faces,
doesn't he?

A well-reported face with eyes like
pools of chocolate.

A reservation under Pascal?

Perfect. Let me just pull that up.

Thank you.

Okay.

Here are your room keys. Thank you.

And don't hesitate to ask for anything.

No, we won't. Okay.

Have a wonderful stay.

Oh,

how are your rooms? Oh, roomy.

Did they give you a map?

No, but the resort has an app. Not an
app, a map. The app has a map.

Right, we need to take it to Papa's show
while we are here.

It is the crown jewel of the resort, a
feast.

For the tenses.

Seems as though it's not raining
anymore.

I, for one, am glad we don't have to see
that. I don't do puppets.

But puppetry is an art form.

One, the Marionette Resort is famous for
championing.

Resort, no, for puppetry? Ugh.

Yes, as I'm sure you've gleaned from the
rustic decor, the Marionette offers more

than the traditional fare of most
wellness bars.

Culture, contemplation. Ooh, there's a
lake.

Ooh, let me see where it is.

Hopefully it's a puppet-free lake.

You know, it used to be tradition to
start the weekend off with a round of

calisthenics.

Sorry, were you saying something?

Vic was just going on about the old days
again.

Ah.

Oh, there's an arcade.

I will not be moving from this bar.

Where is the social director?

In my day, group activities were
chaperoned by a guide.

You didn't seriously just say
chaperoned, did you?

Do I have to look for the ley line
alone?

Or do I have to call Mrs. S?

Oh, de la.

Bikram, can you do that anywhere else?

I cannot. It is important to stretch
adequately before swimming.

You can't swim in there.

Connor, I am a fantastic swimmer. Did I
ever tell you about the time I won the

great swim meet of 1843?

It was wildly competitive.

swimmers from around the world. No, it
says right here you can't swim in the

lake. It's got high levels of mercury.

Mercury? Who puts mercury in a lake? You
know what? Why don't we go and do our

own thing for a while? Or we could do
what we actually came here to do. I

agree. Thank you. With life, sir. Let's
meet at lunch.

It is a mouth-watering buffet of local
traditional food.

Roasted goose raised right here.

Boiled aubergine and ox meal. And a
wonderful mead of honey and vinegar,

often used to treat open... wounds.

Luckily, I am immune to mercury.

As I was saying, you really should try
the cold fish stew. The eyeballs are an

excellent source of protein. Oh, and the
cabbage three ways.

Boiled, salted, and most importantly...
Okay, I just booked us all massages for

ladies. Oh, thank God. My trapezius is
killing me from all the reading.

As I was saying, with cabbage, I find it
is best to do this before you take a...

And when did we get a nap? Oh, come on.

You're against anything changing around
here. You just go on and say no to

everything. Father would hate all this.

And you put sticky torches in the
chapel?

Why can't prayer be a party? It's
innovative.

So tacky. Oh, my God.

Wait!

Back to cabbages. Did you know,
historically, they were used to prevent

scurvy on long sea voyages?

Oh, my God.

No.

This is different. This is not what I
remember.

Uh, the app says, oh, they're debuting a
new buffet today. Food from around the

world. No, no, no, no, no. This is all
wrong. It was always local specialities,

hmm? Where's the pickling station, hmm?
The wall of radishes.

Oh, come on. You never know. You might
like this new stuff.

I suppose I could try some. I am on
vacation after all. You're not on

vacation. Oh, cheer up. We can have a
massages later. Why did you book

massages?

What's where you stick that thing, lady?

Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing?

I don't think it's cooked enough.

I

think

you better cancel those massages.

Okay, the ley line here must have
created an artifact.

Or infected someone, giving them magical
powers.

I told you we should have been looking
for the ley line.

Excuse me. Whoa.

Nadia seems like a good place to start
the investigation.

The guy she was arguing with must be a
brother.

Agreed. Let's split up and survey these
sibling suspects.

Okay. Swiftly.

I'm so sorry for your experience. I'm so
sorry. You'll get a full refund. You'll

be hearing from our lawyer. I'm so
sorry. We don't want to hear it.

Miss Nadia, we couldn't help but
overhear that there was a problem at the

lunch buffet.

My brother went behind my back and hired
an off-site caterer.

We've always made our food in-house. We
are known for it. Cabbage, three words.

But suddenly he wants to throw tradition
away and do whatever is popular on

social media. And look how that turned
out.

Food poisoning and hallucinations.

Those people think their food came to
life and started dancing. Can you

believe that?

So, your brother, he clearly does not
appreciate the beauty of this place.

I tried to tell him these changes were a
bad idea.

The resort is about preserving the past,
transporting you to a simpler time.

A better time.

I admire your commitment to honoring the
heritage of this incredible resort.

I just wish my brother could see things
the way you do.

But he will never learn.

My sister doesn't really appreciate my
vision of the resort.

How long have you two been running this
place?

Oh, not long. We inherited it from our
father, who recently passed.

He's been losing money for years, and
I'm trying to revive it, but Nadia

doesn't understand that you need change
to move forward.

The past only weighs you down.

Waterbeds, hookah bars with big screen
TVs, and executive lounges, those are

the things that people want.

Is that what people want?

Pardon me for just a second, please.

What are you doing here? Please, you
must listen to me. There will be

consequences if you go through with your
plans.

Huh?

Timothy, please.

I will not be threatened like this.

Leave. Now.

Or I'll call the police.

Yeah.

I'll be right out.

It's right there. It's everywhere.

Come on, let's go.

No electricity, no computers, and
absolutely no phones. Just you

and nature.

The only tablets were ones made of
slate.

And in the evenings, rooms were lit by a
candlelight.

And it was so cozy.

I mean, in my imagination.

Because I was not there.

I always thought the marionette could be
a portal to that time.

Uh, Nadia?

Are you expecting a delivery?

You promised you wouldn't do this.

Every time I open my eyes, I'm scared I
won't recognize this place anymore.

That's the plan.

Something new, something fresh,
something exciting.

What's exciting about these?

Well, these are edgy. These are
avant-garde. Sibling rivalry continues.

These are eyesores, Dimitri. This is my
artistic expression.

We could be the hotel of Eastern Europe.
Or Burning Man.

With this.

What is this?

This is hideous.

Dimitri.

You know, they say art is supposed to be
moving.

Thank God I didn't get these insured. I
told you to be careful.

Okay, Art.

Get moving.

It's okay,

it's okay.

How did that happen?

Time

to

go. Come on, inside.

Come on, come on. Everyone inside.

Dimitri, stop! Get out of there!

No, he's not supportive!

What are we thinking? Possession magic?

Whatever it is, the power to control
objects could have devastating

consequences. What if it doesn't stop at
objects?

What if it starts controlling people?

Another one?

Why are you in so many photos?

Now, we must figure out how the ley
lines caused these items to move on

their own. And who wished to wreak havoc
upon the quiet blissful solitude of the

marionette resort. Could be Wraiths or
Tellpaths. Dummy.

Oh, excuse me.

No, I mean Dummy.

Oh.

I saw this puppet earlier in the lobby
when Dimitri was talking to that older

guy. Oh, yes, I recall.

This is Percival.

Ventriloquist dummy. Percy for short.
The star of the show.

For a long, long time.

He looks familiar.

Oh, I hate puppets. This is that older
guy from the lobby.

He was just warning Dimitri about
consequences.

Was it a warning or a threat?

Connor, you and I shall visit this
puppet here and discover how he became a

harbinger of doom.

We'll step up the search for the ley
line. What part of I hate puppets do you

not hear?

Arthur Piero, world-renowned
ventriloquist and puppeteer.

Yes, I am Arthur.

Good day. We are a pair of puppetry
aficionados, devotees in the noble art

of manipulation, especially my friend
Connor. Isn't that right, Connor?

Yeah, yeah, we're so devoted to their
empty eyes, their knobby knees.

From Greek pantomime to the shadow
puppets of ancient China, we revere them

all. Not many folk have the patience to
sit through a whole show anymore.

Mightn't we come in?

I love what you've done with the play.

Connor, close the door.

Don't look at me like that.

Mr. Piero, I understand that your family
have worked at the marionette for

hundreds of years.

My great-great-great-grandfather started
the theater here.

People used to come from all over to see
his show.

And he was amazing. His voice work,
unparalleled.

I mean, or so I heard.

He wrote in his journal it's important
for an artist to be in touch with all

the emotions.

Puppetry used to be a respected art
form, but now... Now too many

distractions. The entirety of history
available at the click of a button, and

yet no one cares to learn about the
past.

Oh, I feel...

Obsolete.

Like there is no place for me here.

Like I was just a relic of antiquity.

So, Arthur, talk to me about Dimitri.

Earlier, I heard you warning him about
consequences.

Well, I was just... Yeah, your show's
been taken off the schedule, and the app

says that the theater's under
renovation.

Say, could you possibly show us Percy,
your prize puppet?

You must go.

I have to pack and be out of here by the
end of the week.

Oh, wow.

I don't care how old the theater is.

We're tearing it down.

No, no, that was a misunderstanding.

They sent moving statues, and I asked...
Of course your people are gonna be safe,

I promise.

That wasn't our fault.

Listen, just send a crew down here
tomorrow, and I'll pay, okay?

So ley lines are often out of the way.

They're usually found in crevices,
ground fishes, and dry creeks. Think

about how many tourists have stumbled
across this one.

True, but they just don't splash magic
everywhere.

I mean, they need a tent.

Are you saying that I could stand on a
ley line and wish for a pony? It could

happen.

Depends how bad you want it. That is
awesome.

And what you're willing to sacrifice.

Oh, that's awesome.

Hold on.

I think... This is it.

This is the ley line.

You can't see it, but the ley line is
right here.

AP.

This is incredible.

I have never encountered frequencies
like this.

I've never been to a ley line before.
This is exciting.

These readings, we could use them to our
advantage.

Look.

What?

This is Arthur the Puppeteer, so...
Those must be... Puppet prints.

Mm-hmm.

Did the puppeteer talk?

He did not.

Which says a lot. Okay, well, we found
the ley line. It was magnificent.

Like experiencing humans' resonance at
Earth's hand.

Uh, what is the... So glad you asked.
It's the electromagnetic field intensity

that occurs between the surface of the
planet and the ionosphere. They call it

Earth's heartbeat.

More importantly...

We found this hanky at the ley line.

Pretty sure it's Arthur's. Oh, and there
are little puppet footprints leading

back to the resort.

Miss Beck, we need to talk to you and
your brother.

It's about Arthur.

We're worried.

You are worried?

I am worried my brother is going to
destroy our family legacy.

He has the demolition team coming
tomorrow.

This whole place is going to be a
nightclub before I know it. I understand

this is hard for you.

But we are concerned for your safety.
Please, take us to him.

Yes.

She is in his office. Come.

He's probably installing black lights in
there.

You reach Dimitri. I'm not here right
now. Voicemail.

Guys, I think you left in a rush.

Probably against his will, by the looks
of this.

he'd gotten himself into.

Sir, start the rooms down the hall.

Don't sign it, Dimitri.

Miss Nadia, we will try to find your
brother.

Maybe make sure your remaining guests
stay in their rooms. For all our

differences, he's still my brother.

Please make sure he's okay.

Okay, so I'm thinking one of Arthur's
puppets got activated by the ley line

and kidnapped Dimitri.

Yeah, not just any puppet. It's Percy.

Why do you think it's Percy?

I saw him in the lobby earlier. One
second he was there, then he was gone.

And when Vikram brought him up in the
trailer, Arthur got weird and kicked us

out.

He is the star of the show, and the show
has been cancelled. A diva without his

stage. Perhaps seeking revenge against
someone who has nothing more to do with

him. So we're dealing with the Pinocchio
situation.

More like a Chucky situation.

Okay, so we have to find the
ventriloquist dummy fast.

Best way to do that is ask his owner.

So... An encore performance from our
prickly puppeteer is in order. Connor,

shall we return to his workshop and see
what more information we can glean?

Absolutely not. That's the worst place
I've ever been.

And I've been some places.

Okay, I'll go. You can track down the
puppet. What?

Wow, there were no great options from
here, were there?

Nope.

Oh, God.

You'll never believe me if I told you
what was really going on here.

Both would have to do with an antique
dummy gaining consciousness and seeking

righteous retribution.

After Dimitri fired me, he threw me out
the staff exit.

I fell down into a clearing with all my
puppets. I was on the bed.

That's when it happened.

That place he came to life.

He said he was in charge now. I think
he's dangerous.

I didn't know what to do. I don't want
him to hurt anyone.

That clearing.

Well, that must be where I found the ley
line frequency readings.

That's it.

The ley line frequencies.

I can create a device to deactivate the
ley line.

Yes,

and I can help.

No, no, I mean, no.

You keep talking about the olden days.

Is this because you said I could speed
up my computer if I cleared all the

cookies, so I went to the kitchen and
ate a whole sleeve of snickerdoodles?

Vikram, when I asked you to plug in a
lamp, you blew every fuse in the castle.

That's true.

I do that.

Well, not the castle, just...

The trailer.

Okay, fine. You can help.

Pass me that wire and find me a
screwdriver.

Arthur, I suppose you have a tuning
fork?

Yes, out back for when I used the guitar
in my act.

I'll have to go dig for it. Great.

Let's just hope Charlie and Connor have
found Percy.

Oh.

Puppet Prince.

Let's follow him.

Oh my God, you're ridiculous.

What is your deal with puppets anyway?

You can't laugh.

I don't laugh.

When I was six, my mom threw me a
birthday party and hired a

ventriloquist. Sounds funny.

That dummy knew everything about me. My
favorite movie, color, food.

Later, I found out my mom had told her
ventriloquist everything ahead of time

thinking it would amaze me, but it
didn't.

I was horrified.

And now, every time I see a puppet, I
feel like it can read my mind.

Oh, my God, you're laughing, aren't you?

Oh, my God!

Charlie!

All right, so, what are we making?

I'm making a magic tuning fork.

It's the same technology I was planning
on using to deactivate the ley line. I

can match the pitch of the magic, thus
creating and fixing the neutralizer.

It's the same technology as
noise-canceling headphones.

It is.

What are you doing?

My camera.

Just need to borrow the circuit board.

The film is fine.

Yes, it's not enough.

It's wild that you missed all of the
advancements of electromagnetic

technology.

I mean, Maxwell's equations were
discovered, what, 20 years after you got

stuck in the time bubble?

Time missed a lot, it seems.

I think I know where Percy might be.

Okay,

so

we get in, find Dimitri, and then corner
Percy until Vicar and Eliza get here.

You know, that fluttering feeling in
your stomach right before you enter a

haunted house?

No.

Right.

Me neither.

Dimitri? Okay, so the plan is I should
get close enough to Percy so I can tap

him with Freaksy Neutralizer, and that
should incapacitate him.

My.

What kind of gadgets will you think of
next?

Ah. Oh, dear.

Perhaps this is a sign. Maybe we should
be caught. Never fear, Arthur. I happen

to recall a short-lived magician act
that passed through here in the 1840s,

which had a secret entrance installed
for a disappearing, reappearing trick.

It was quite impressive.

Yeah, I mean, so it hurt.

Come along.

This way.

Ah, Dimitri! Oh, God.

Oh, good. Let's get this poor chap out
of here, shall we? Uh, yeah.

About that.

I'm sorry. I'm not in control of my
body.

That was unexpected.

What are you doing?

It's Percy. He's puppeting us. I don't
mean it.

I'm gonna kick you now.

Here comes an uppercut.

Hook. Jab.

Leg sweep.

I'm sorry. I can feel what my body's
gonna do, but I can't stop it.

My limbs, I can't control them.

Where did you learn how to do that?

It's not me, it's Percy.

I've become the thing I hate.

I'm so sorry. You know I don't mean
this.

Give me over to Connor and Liza.

Excellent work. Thank you. Oh, sorry.

Excellent

work, sir.

Thank you.

Okay, hey, wake up. Wake up.

Okay.

What's happening?

There was this puppet. Yeah, I know.
We're going to stop him.

Hey! No playing with my toys.

I feel my power growing.

Soon I'll be able to control Dimitri,
body and mind.

He'll do what I want, say what I think,
act as I would.

I have been manipulated my entire life.

But soon, I will pull the strings.

I'm sorry. I can let you have the
theater. You can do your show. Silence!

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

You wanted to get rid of us.

Consign us to some dusty, forgotten
attic, like a relic of antiquity.

You wanted to change this place, and we
shall.

With my power growing, I will turn this
theater into my own cathedral.

And everyone who comes here will be
turned into another one of my puppets.

An army of our own. And no one will ever
push us around again.

We will be the ones in control.

Oh, God.

It's not working.

Why didn't it work? The number's right.
The frequency's correct.

Oh.

Or maybe I'm just a real boy.

What? There's no readings.

Vicar, we have no magic. There's no
magic.

No. That is because there is no magic in
Percy.

Is there, Arthur?

I know someone else who referred to
himself as a relic of antiquity.

What? It wasn't Percy who was affected
by the ley line's magic.

It was you.

It truly allowed you to become a
puppeteer.

No.

You have been controlling Percy this
entire time without even realizing it.

That is how tightly you have bottled up
your emotions, put them in a vault,

thrown away at key.

No, I had nothing to do with this. You
wanted retribution against Dimitri for

what he did to you.

But you were far too good to do anything
about it.

But Percy, on the other hand, embodied
with your suppressed rage, split from

you with a lay lion's magic.

Percy is your avatar of anger.

But I'm the victim.

I'm the victim.

I'm the victim.

You don't have the spine to do what
needs to be done, Artie.

That's why you're having me do it for
you.

It can't be true. I'm a good person. I
never complain. I always do what I am

told.

Exactly.

You're weak.

And every time you let someone walk all
over you, the raids grew.

And that raids turned into me.

Do something, please.

Why?

He's right.

What? You think not complaining and
rolling over for people makes you a good

person? It doesn't.

It makes you a doormat. Makes you
pathetic.

Uh, Vikram, what are you doing? Just
telling Arthur what he needs to hear.

Why would you say such awful things?

Not awful.

True.

Oh, I cannot help you, Arthur. I can
barely even pity you.

Look at you, slithering and begging when
you should be fighting.

Stop it. I would never fight anyone.

Not even for yourself.

Oh, you are an embarrassment.

You're a man with no spine.

Stop, stop!

Now, keep going.

Oh, I love this. This is juicy.

You're just a sad old man playing with
children's toys.

I am an artist.

You're a joke. You have no skill.

You fumble about that stage like a
blithering imbecile.

Stop. Your family will be ashamed of
you.

You embarrass their name.

Stop. Make me.

Oh, yes, that's right.

You need a dummy to speak for you.

Enough!

Do not speak to me like that!

I am Arthur Piero, one of the greatest
puppeteers on earth. And

my ancestors would be proud of the way I
have upheld their traditions.

How dare you question me!

I'm good.

I am sorry I said such horrible things.

I hope you know I did not mean them.

It was the only way for you to reclaim
your rage.

And your voice.

Who knew I had so much anger lurking
inside of me?

You have spent your life speaking
through those puppets.

But it was always you.

All I had to do was give you a push to
remind you.

Push to get back my emotions.

Indeed. Our emotions need to exist in
balance.

Together. Much like past and the future.

And I thought you were uninterested in
my ancient anecdotes.

Yeah, well, it was your knowledge of the
history of the resort that got us into

the theater, whereas my high-tech device
did nothing.

All the dash. It confirmed my suspicions
about Arthur, the final piece of the

puzzle.

I'm sorry I punched you, sir.

It was an honor.

I think you had better take him.

Uh, you sure?

Yes, yes. I think it's time.

But you're retired.

No! Thank you.

On vacation, this one.

Tell me about it. I only got through 300
pages.

300?

What?

Going somewhere?

An old friend from business school just
launched a startup, and now he needs

somebody with their finger in the pulse
of modern tech.

And I think that might be just more my
speed anyway.

Very enterprising.

And I sold my shares of the resort to
Nadia.

This week taught me that you need not
burn down the past to enjoy the present.

Because a sentient ventriloquist dummy
might kidnap you.

Connor.

I can't thank you enough for all your
help.

Oh, God, no, it's our job.

And this place is going to look great
without all the construction.

Actually, there may be a little
construction after all.

Oh? Maybe Dmitry wasn't wrong about
everything.

The app has some fun features.

It could be good to refurbish the game
room. And we are building a pond in the

clearing by the staff exit to keep
people away from whatever happened to

Perth, you know. Yeah, well...

As long as this place doesn't lose its
spirit.

Yeah, there are lots of people who enjoy
a taste of history.

Yes. Like Vicar.

Where is Vicar?

We know what's going to happen to
Arthur.

Oh, I had a wonderful idea for Arthur.

People need to learn what's beautiful
about bad.

Puppetry is a very ancient art form that
has existed in nearly every culture

and continues to evolve in new and
exciting ways.

Today, I will teach you about different
types of puppets.

And this is my friend Curtis.

Say hello, Curtis.

Hello, Curtis.

Hey, Curtis is my name, too.

box really necessary for my peace of
mind yes it is necessary i think i've

worked out the equation to pinpoint the
exact location of atlantis so now i just

everyone gather round i have a surprise
for you atlantis will still not be there

tomorrow no

why

a gift from arthur For a mission well
done and a

vacation spoiled.

I don't know about you guys, but it's
the best vacation I've ever had.

Oh, God, I swear I can sing to my soul.

Funny thing, this mission reminded me of
a trip I had to Athens many years ago

where I attended a salon on Plato's
concept of the divided soul.

But, of course, you don't want to hear
my death-killed stories.

No, you still need to tell us how you
won that swim meet. Yeah.

I want to hear all about those organized
calisthenics meetings.

Anne, you never finished telling us
about cabbage three ways.

Stuffed. That's the third way.

I told you.

So, I'll start at the swim meet. Back
then, there was no modern Olympics, but

there were various competitions held at
various locations. The resort was the

premier event on the continent.

Oh, competitors.

They would come from all around the
world, yearly, to test their mettle.

And I, of course, was and still am an
excellent swimmer, as I was taught by

the great Johann Christoph Friedrich
Gustmutz from Germany. I've read about

him. Yes, or as they say, from
Deutschland, as they demand.

They demand a lot for a country with no
sense of humour.

Now, as I was performing a now outlawed
technique called the crocodile...