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1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:05,100
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,300
I don't know, Eddie.
3
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:08,900
Try-try under the bed.
4
00:00:08,900 --> 00:00:10,200
Well, if they're
not there,
5
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,700
look in the back
of the closet,
6
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:13,400
or behind the
dresser,
7
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,700
or in the washing
machine.
8
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:16,600
Yeah, if-if you still
can't find them,
9
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:17,900
call me back.
10
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,300
I swear to God,
11
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:20,600
that man would
lose his head
12
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:22,000
if it weren't
bolted on.
13
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,500
What's, uh...
what's up there, Carla?
14
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,900
Eddie wants to
take the twins
for a walk.
15
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,100
Uh, can't find his shoes, huh?
16
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:29,200
No, he can't
find the twins.
17
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:36,100
( piano plays )
18
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,900
� Making your way
in the world today �
19
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,100
� Takes everything you've got
20
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,600
� Taking a break
from all your worries �
21
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,200
� Sure would help a lot
22
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:53,600
� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �
23
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,300
� Sometimes you want to go
24
00:00:56,300 --> 00:01:01,300
� Where everybody
knows your name �
25
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:05,800
� And they're always glad
you came �
26
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,400
� You want to be
where you can see �
27
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,800
� Our troubles are
all the same �
28
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:16,100
� You want to be where
everybody knows your name �
29
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:18,700
� You want to go
where people know �
30
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:21,000
� People are all the same
31
00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:26,200
� You want to go where
everybody knows your name. �
32
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,200
Oh. Excuse me.
33
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,300
No, no, it was my fault.
34
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,500
I'm sorry.
35
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,500
Are you okay?
36
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,800
I'm just fine.
37
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,800
But how nice of you to be
so completely concerned.
38
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,700
Well, you know, you can't be
too careful these days.
39
00:01:58,700 --> 00:01:59,900
Yeah.
40
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:03,000
So, uh,
when's your baby due?
41
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,300
I'm not pregnant.
42
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,600
Oh. Well, then
I really am sorry.
43
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:11,900
Excuse me.
44
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,600
Well, why don't you just watch
where you're going then
45
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,700
next time, Buster?!
46
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,200
Sam,
47
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,600
does this outfit
make me look
48
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,000
like I've put on
a little weight?
49
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,700
The outfit?
Uh, yeah, no.
50
00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:25,900
That's what
it must be.
51
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,000
Right, yeah.
52
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,200
Turn around.
Let me see.
53
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,400
Yeah, blame it
on the outfit...
54
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,400
You know, you've been wearing
an awful lot
55
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,900
of fat clothes recently,
haven't you?
56
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,900
Oh, just shut
up, butthead.
57
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:40,500
She called me a butthead.
58
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,000
I think I'm gonna cry.
59
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:43,500
Oh, don't
worry, Sam.
60
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,500
It only looks that
way from the back.
61
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,500
Want another beer, Mr. P.?
62
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,200
Love to, Woody, but
63
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,200
I got to get back
to painting Frasier
and Lilith's place.
64
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,100
This is the first job
anyone's given me
65
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,000
in, like, four months,
so I'm not going to do anything
66
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,400
to jeopardize it.
67
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,000
I'm really making an effort
this time
68
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,800
to be the kind
of dependable professional
69
00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:08,300
that I'd like
to have working for me.
70
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,600
See you, Mr. Peterson.
71
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,600
What, Wood?
72
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,300
I said, I'll see you.
73
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:14,300
Well, damn it, Woody.
74
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:15,900
Now you made me late, man.
75
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,600
All right, as long as I'm late,
76
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,700
I'll just have another beer,
I guess.
77
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,100
Oh, much
better.
78
00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:32,400
Yes, much
better, yes.
79
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,500
You know, I never thought
80
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,800
our wedding portrait
lived there.
81
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,300
Um, where should it go, Ivan?
82
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,000
Here's a spot.
83
00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:43,500
Perfect.
84
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,600
Why clutter a home
with mementos?
85
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,200
Did I tell you last night
86
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,500
I programmed myself
to dream about your space?
87
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,800
You didn't.
88
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,800
We're thrilled.
89
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:56,900
Hmm.
90
00:03:56,900 --> 00:04:00,000
To begin with,
we lose this wall.
91
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,000
Uh, by lose,
do you mean
92
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:04,100
we redesign it so that it
practically disappears,
93
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,700
or lose, we knock it down
94
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,900
so that we're left
facing the back of our stove?
95
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,600
Hmm... fret not.
96
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:14,700
We'll be transforming il cucinainto an atrium.
97
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:15,700
I love this idea.
98
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:17,300
I adore it.
99
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,200
But what about eating?
100
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:23,400
I design, I don't eat.
101
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,300
Now, over here I imagine
removing the ceiling
102
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,800
and extending the wall up
to the second story,
103
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:32,600
culminating in a skylight
to flood the room
104
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,300
with natural illumination.
105
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:36,600
But, uh...
106
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,200
that's our...
that's our bedroom up there.
107
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,700
Is that all
you people think about,
108
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,400
eating and sleeping?
109
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,700
Tell me this was a gift.
110
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,100
Doctor, might I have a word
with you?
111
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,200
Certainly, Doctor.
112
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,900
How do you feel
about Ivan?
113
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,600
Feel? Look,
114
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,700
the man is one of the most
famous designers in the city.
115
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,300
He's been written up
in every magazine
116
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,000
from Metropolitan Home to HG.
117
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,400
He's got more awards
on his shelves
118
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,600
than we have shelves.
119
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,700
I'd like to beat the crap
out of him.
120
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,200
Maybe we should
let him go.
121
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,600
If that's your final decision,
my cherub, I concur.
122
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:21,700
The heave-ho.
123
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,900
Wait.
124
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,200
At the risk of
sounding sexist,
125
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:25,500
I do believe this
is man's work.
126
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,000
It requires
a firm hand.
127
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,800
Please feel free to leave
the room if you must.
128
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:31,000
This could get
unpleasant.
129
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,900
Sir.
130
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,400
You're too good for us.
131
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,500
Your masterful design
132
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,800
would make our poor
little lives
133
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,400
just seem drab
by comparison,
134
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,000
and of course,
we'll, uh,
135
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,400
see to your severance
pay, two weeks?
136
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,700
Six months?
137
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:49,800
IVAN:
Fine.
138
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:53,000
I can't tell you
what a once-in-a-lifetime thrill
139
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,600
it's been to bask
in your talent.
140
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:55,700
Uh, bye-bye now.
141
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:58,300
Watch the steps.
142
00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:00,400
Huh.
143
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:04,400
I only hope he can recover
from that tongue lashing.
144
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,300
So, dandelion,
145
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,400
now that you've given away
the farm to Ivan,
146
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,400
do you have some
Swiss bank account we can empty
147
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:12,900
to pay another decorator?
148
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:15,000
Well, I'll go that one better,
Dove bar.
149
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,400
I submit
that between the two of us,
150
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,700
we have enough taste
and intelligence
151
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:20,500
to redesign our
own habitat,
152
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,700
sans outside help.
153
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,900
Bite me, I love you.
154
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,000
I take back my bite.
155
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,200
We suck.
156
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,400
Much better.
157
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,800
Much better!
158
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,000
Pardon me?
159
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,900
Yes, by simply
moving that chair,
160
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,600
an intimate conversation area
is created,
161
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,600
at the same time, opening up
a new traffic pattern
162
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,300
that gives the entire room
163
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:21,000
a whole new dynamic
sense of flow.
164
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:25,300
Plus, I can spackle behind here.
165
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,200
Of course, if...
166
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,200
if you really want a better shot
at the intimate thing,
167
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,700
I'd, uh, take these, uh--
168
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,900
what do you call it--
these Louis Couture's jobbies,
169
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:40,700
uh, and move them over like so.
170
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,700
Get the table...
over this way.
171
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,000
Okay.
172
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,900
Now, this table
would have to come
173
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,100
like yea.
174
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,300
Right?
175
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,600
And, uh,
176
00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,200
sofa could come around
this way.
177
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,500
Of course.
178
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,300
Okay?
179
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,600
Now, uh,
180
00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,900
that desk has got to come out
of there, you put the piano
181
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,600
into the bay,
all right?
182
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,300
That chrome and glass,
you put into the harbor.
183
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,300
Uh...
184
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,400
I tell you what.
185
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,600
I'd-I-d move
into the warm tones, all right?
186
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,600
Reupholster, redrape,
the whole damn thing.
187
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,400
Splash a little bit
of paisley around.
188
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,800
Throw down a nice
189
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,100
Bukhara rug.
190
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:17,900
Top it off with a fine piece
or two of chinoiserie,
191
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,400
and we're there.
192
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,800
Well, bite us, Norm,
we love you.
193
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,000
So, uh, what
do you got in
there, Woodski?
194
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,900
Oh, boy.
195
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:38,200
My Aunt Edna's killer
fudge brownies.
196
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,200
Ooh, killers, huh?
197
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,600
Yeah, they're
called that because
the first time
198
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,400
my Uncle Ford ever
smelled them baking,
199
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:46,400
he came running in
from the field and
got hit by a combine.
200
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,200
He hung on for
a few days.
201
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:54,000
At the end, he was
just praying to die.
202
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,600
Well, eat up,
everybody.
203
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,500
Hi, everybody.
204
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,800
Oh, hey, Rebecca.
205
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,300
Want a brownie?
206
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,600
Oh, I'm sorry,
I forgot.
207
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,900
Moment on the lips,
a lifetime on the hips.
208
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,100
CLIFF:
You know,
Rebecca,
209
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,000
I don't know why you're so, uh,
concerned about your figure.
210
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,300
You know, back
211
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,600
in the Renaissance
time, uh,
212
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:24,800
full-figured women
were revered.
213
00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:25,800
Get out.
214
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:26,800
It's true.
215
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:27,800
Yeah?
216
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,000
Yeah, yeah.
217
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,700
Artists would only paint big,
voluptuous women.
218
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:35,200
In fact, that's how they got rid
of a lot of their old paint.
219
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:41,700
You know,
speaking
220
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:42,800
of, uh, weight
and stuff,
221
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:44,100
I got
a riddle.
222
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,400
Which is heavier,
223
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,300
a pound of
Cliff's brain
224
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,800
or a pound of
dead flies?
225
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,400
It's a trick question.
226
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,400
A pound is a pound.
227
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,700
They both weigh the same.
228
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,700
Go ahead, ask me another
of Mr. Clavin's brain questions.
229
00:09:58,500 --> 00:09:59,600
Okay, let's see.
230
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,900
Uh..
( clears throat )
231
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,500
if you dropped
Cliff's brain
232
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,100
and a bowling ball
off the top
233
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,800
of the Empire
State Building...
234
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:06,400
Yeah? Yeah?
235
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,600
Well...
236
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,700
Norm, we had to rush over
to tell you.
237
00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:13,700
The new window treatment
you designed just went up.
238
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,000
It is spectacular.
239
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:16,400
Are you speaking
to another Norm,
240
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,300
or do you have a death wish?
241
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,300
Beg your pardon?
242
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:20,300
Come on, come on.
243
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:21,600
You think I want these people
to know
244
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:22,800
I'm an interior decorator?
245
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,700
We're sorry, Norm.
246
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:27,700
It's just, we simply
cannot moderate
our approbation.
247
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,100
Well, give it a shot,
okay?
248
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:30,800
But you should
be decorating
professionally.
249
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,200
Oh, no, no, no.
Please.
250
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,500
Doing you folks a favor
was one thing.
251
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,000
Any more
of this interior decorating junk
252
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,700
could really eat
into my reputation
253
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:42,600
as a lazy, beer-guzzling lump
of mashed potatoes.
254
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,000
But, Norm, you have a gift.
255
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,300
Gift?
256
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:47,600
Try curse, pal.
257
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,800
I spent my whole damn life
trying to cover up the fact
258
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,300
that I have a great sense
of color,
259
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,500
and I always know
where to stick the ottoman.
260
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:54,800
Oh, it's a pity.
261
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,300
You see, we've just met
this new couple,
262
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,700
and they-they need a decorator.
263
00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,000
Dearest, Norm has made
his feelings clear.
264
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,300
Yes, but they're
very well off.
265
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:02,700
Frasier, it's not
a matter of money.
266
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,100
They're willing
to pay five figures.
267
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:05,200
But, Frasier...
268
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,000
Hey, Elvira, back off.
269
00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:13,300
If the left side
of Cliff's brain
leaves New York
270
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:16,000
on a train traveling
at 65 miles per hour,
271
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,900
and the right side
of Cliff's brain
leaves L.A. on...
272
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,100
Wait, wait, wait.
273
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,500
Let me get a pencil.
274
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,200
Yeah!
275
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,700
Damn, I am good.
276
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:49,700
Bring these people on.
277
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,900
I'll wipe up the floor
with them.
278
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:52,000
Who are they, anyhow?
279
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,700
Well, actually, they're friends
of friends.
280
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,900
NORM:
Yeah?
281
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,800
But I have to warn you-- they're
the essence of the Y word.
282
00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,100
That's the yuppie word
for yuppie.
283
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,200
NORM:
Oh.
284
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,200
Are you implying
that I'm a yuppie?
285
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,800
Oh, forgive me, I erred.
286
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,500
If I ever do it again,
287
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,000
you may cut out my tongue
and serve it to me in a fajita.
288
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,300
( doorbell rings )
289
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:12,500
Yup, here we go.
Uh-huh.
290
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,600
I'm going to take one last look
in the kitchen.
291
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,000
Hi, we were just
talking about you!
292
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,200
( chuckles )
Kiss-kiss.
293
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,900
Yes, yes.
294
00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:24,900
Sorry we're late.
295
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000
We couldn't decide
296
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,700
whether to take
the Range Rover or the BMW.
297
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,500
Oh but don't keep
us in suspense.
298
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,300
The Beamer.
299
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:34,500
Well, we're all here now--
what fun.
300
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,400
Uh, Kier Royales all around?
301
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,100
Super.
That'd be
great, Fras.
302
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,100
I can't get over
what your decorator
303
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:41,600
has done with this place.
304
00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:43,800
It's warm, it's solid.
305
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,600
It's real.
It's super.
306
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,100
Oh, hi, what's going on?
307
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,700
Hi...
308
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:55,500
Kim and Robert Cooperman,
I'd like you to meet
309
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,300
our decorator,
Norman Peterson.
Hi.
310
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,800
KIM:
How do you do, Norman?
Great.
311
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,500
You know,
this is the last cold beer.
312
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,200
We could split it or something?
313
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:04,900
No, thanks,
we're taken care of.
314
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,700
Okay, well, suit yourself, huh?
315
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:07,600
Sit down everybody.
316
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,500
It's beautiful and functional.
317
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,300
You know, uh,
Frasier told me
318
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:13,500
a little bit
about your place,
319
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,600
so I did take the
liberty of, uh,
320
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:16,800
jotting down
a few ideas.
321
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,600
Uh... excuse me.
322
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,500
Are those cocktail napkins?
323
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,000
Yeah, I'm sorry,
did you need one?
324
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,400
No.
325
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,400
Veggie p�t�?
326
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,700
Oh, yes, yes, please.
327
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:31,100
I'm on empty over here.
328
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:33,300
Anyway...
329
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:38,100
I heard your place
is pretty modern, you know?
330
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,800
And most of your stuff
is kind of gray.
331
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,300
So I thought, maybe, you know,
332
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,900
some, you know,
color would be good.
333
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,000
Uh, actually, we hadn't
totally sold ourselves
334
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000
on the concept of change.
335
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,800
NORM:
Oh.
336
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,000
You could keep, uh,
337
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,700
some of your old stuff,
and, you know,
338
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,200
throw in some new stuff, too.
339
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,000
Um...
340
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:04,100
Fras, uh, could you, uh,
341
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:07,100
help me with
this wall treatment?
342
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,200
Sushi?
343
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,800
I rolled it myself.
344
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:11,600
What's going on?
345
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,600
I'm dying over here.
346
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,700
Well, it's not you, Norm,
it's them.
Yeah?
347
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,400
They're narrow-minded,
trend-sucking dilettantes,
348
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,800
who insist that...
349
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,300
well, their chefs be French,
you know,
350
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:24,300
that their mechanics be German,
and that their designers be...
351
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,200
...stylish.
352
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,500
Ooh.
353
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,700
You mean, stylish.
354
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:36,400
Very stylish.
355
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,900
'Nough said, Fras.
356
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:38,900
I'm sorry, Norm.
357
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000
This could have been
a real lucrative job for you.
358
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,600
I don't know what to say.
359
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,200
That's okay, I do.
360
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:47,600
Um...
361
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,100
( sighs )
Listen, uh,
362
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,600
did I tell you that, uh,
363
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,500
last night, I programmed myself
364
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:59,800
to dream about your... space?
365
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,900
Miss Howe, I don't
mean to insult you,
366
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:16,100
but you're looking
kind of puny.
367
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,200
Have you lost weight?
368
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,200
Is this a setup?
369
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,400
Did Sam tell you to say that?
370
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:25,800
No, ma'am, I told
myself to say it.
371
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,300
Yeah, I'm worried
about you, you know?
372
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,300
If you're not careful, you're
going to start wasting away,
373
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,100
and pretty soon your
ribs will start to show,
374
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:34,000
like this guy back in
Hanover, Kyle Lefferts.
375
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,300
Of course, he'd
been dead awhile
376
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,000
when they found him.
377
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,700
Thank you, Woody.
378
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:42,800
That's the nicest thing
anyone's said to me all week.
379
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,700
Your hair's been looking
kind of ratty, too.
380
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:53,500
Unfortunately,
that's the second nicest thing.
381
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:56,800
What, no kiss?
382
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,800
No, I've got
to weigh myself.
383
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,700
Oh, we got your scale back here.
384
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,200
What's it doing behind the bar?
385
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,700
We needed it
to settle an argument
386
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,900
about how much
Mr. Clavin's brain weighs.
387
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,900
I think I am in for
a pleasant surprise.
388
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:17,500
SCALE:
Your weight is 162 pounds.
389
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,300
( laughs )
What?!
390
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,400
SCALE:
Have a nice day.
391
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,800
Malone!
392
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,500
Get out here!
393
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,600
I know what you just did!
394
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,700
Congratulations.
395
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,700
Not you, I was
talking to...
396
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:32,600
Forget it.
397
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,000
Okay, okay, look.
398
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,600
Cliff's brain
is found murdered in a room.
399
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,300
All the doors
and windows are locked.
400
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,800
Good, he's here.
401
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,500
Hello, Norman!
402
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,700
What's going on?
403
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,200
Oh, hi.
404
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,900
No, no, no, let's,
uh, let's sit up here.
405
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,500
Um, well, Dick
and, uh, Tracy.
406
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,400
How did you ever
track me down?
407
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,300
It's the address
on the cocktail napkin
408
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:57,700
you did your sketches on.
409
00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,500
( gasps )
You're good.
410
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,200
You know, Norman,
we've never been
411
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,500
in a gay bar before.
412
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,800
Yeah.
It seems
413
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,200
just like a regular bar.
414
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,700
Oh, honey.
415
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:09,700
Look at those two.
416
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,200
Anyway, how about some drinks?
417
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,200
All right. Miss?
418
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:21,100
Oh, uh, no, no,
I'll take care of it.
419
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,100
He's kind of touchy
since the operation.
420
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:28,800
Yo, Woodo, uh,
421
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,600
my friends and I need a couple
of, uh, white wine spritzers
422
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,900
and a beer... spritzer.
423
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:34,900
You feeling okay?
424
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:38,100
Sure, very manly,
never more so.
425
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,400
Spritzers � trois on the way.
426
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,900
Thank you.
427
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:46,400
You know, Norman, we didn't just
pop in here on a whim.
428
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,100
We love the work you did
on our place so much
429
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:52,400
that we want you to do our
mountain retreat next.
430
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,300
( sighs )
Gee, uh, I-I don't know.
431
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:55,400
My schedule's kind of...
432
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:56,900
We know it's an inconvenience,
all right,
433
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,600
so can we double your rate?
434
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,000
Only because I love you kids
so much.
435
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,500
Listen, if you could
scope it out this weekend,
436
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,500
that would be super.
437
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,100
Super.
438
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:06,900
Super!
Super.
439
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,100
( Kim chuckles )
440
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,800
I'm glad you can make it,
441
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,100
because we have another friend
442
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:12,800
who we've been dying
for you to meet.
443
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,100
And he's really cute.
444
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:19,500
( Kim laughs )
445
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,600
Um... he?
446
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,100
Unless somebody's
already snapped you up.
447
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,000
Well, yeah, darn it,
448
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,800
I have been snapped up.
449
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:29,600
By, um...
450
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:31,500
that fellow over there.
451
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,600
The one who had
the operation?
452
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,500
Bite your tongue! No!
453
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,100
No, the, uh,
tall hunk
454
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,800
rinsing glasses.
455
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,200
Wa-Wait a minute.
456
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,100
Isn't that Sam Malone,
the pitcher?
457
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,300
Oh, I've heard of him.
458
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:46,900
Didn't he used to play
for the Sox?
459
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Uh...
460
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,400
Yes, yeah,
but now he plays for me.
461
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,500
KIM:
Oh.
462
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,600
Oh, man, the guys at the gym
are gonna freak!
463
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,800
No, um...
Why don't you
464
00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,800
bring him over
and introduce him to us?
465
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:00,800
Uh, I think he's probably
466
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:02,300
a little bit too busy right now,
467
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,300
um...
468
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000
All right, all right,
I'll, I'll get him.
469
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,800
( clears throat )
470
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,600
Sam, can I have a word, please?
471
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,300
Yeah, now, come here.
472
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,500
Sam, uh... I need
a favor, pal.
473
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,000
Okay, I have
these clients,
474
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,600
and they're big
fans of yours.
Oh.
475
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,600
And, uh,
it'd mean a lot
476
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,400
if you could just come
over and say hi to them.
477
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,900
Oh, no problem.
478
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,500
Thanks so much, Sammy.
479
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,400
Thanks, bud.
480
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,200
Oh, and uh,
one more thing, man, okay?
481
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,600
We're lovers.
482
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,400
Kids, this is
Sam Malone.
483
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,900
Sam Malone, this is Kim
and Robert Cooperman.
484
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,600
Pleased to meet you.
485
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:46,100
You sure do
make a cute couple.
486
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,700
Just accept
the compliment, honey.
487
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,700
Thanks.
488
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,700
I have a confession
to make.
489
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,300
We came in here tonight
490
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,900
to try to fix Norman
up with another man.
491
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,400
Naughty, naughty.
492
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,200
Naughty, naughty.
493
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,300
But since the two of you
are together,
494
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,700
how about if the
four of us spend the
weekend at the cabin?
495
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:13,900
It'll be a hoot!
496
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:19,200
Is that good for you, Sam?
497
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,300
What do you mean
is it good for me?
498
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,600
It stinks for me, man.
499
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,400
Come on, I can't.
500
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,000
I can't hack this.
Don't do this to me.
501
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,300
Listen,
I like babe...
502
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,100
I love babes,
and babes love me.
503
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,200
Babes.
504
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,200
Babes.
505
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,400
Babes.
506
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,200
Babes.
507
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:40,700
"Babes" is his pet word
for linebackers.
508
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,500
Norman, I pride myself
509
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,700
on being a very
perceptive person.
510
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,700
Now, is something amiss?
511
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,500
Yeah.
512
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,000
Sam and I have had a tiff.
513
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:54,100
Look.
514
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,100
Maybe meeting Michael
is just the thing you need.
515
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:57,700
I mean, he lives
right around the corner.
516
00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:58,800
Kim, go call him.
517
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,300
No. No-no-no-no-no,
folks, please.
518
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,100
I can't go on with
this any longer.
519
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,600
Look, I don't care if
it costs me the job.
520
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,300
I got to tell you
the truth, okay?
521
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,600
I wanted to be
your decorator,
522
00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:13,400
so I pretended to be who I
thought you wanted me to be,
523
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:18,300
but... it's time that I
came out of the closet.
524
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:20,600
I'm straight.
525
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,500
Impossible.
( laughs )
526
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,500
No, no, I-I...
527
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,200
Ever since I
was a little boy,
528
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,400
I've known that
I preferred girls.
529
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,200
Actually, I'm a
guy with a wife.
530
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,500
I mean, uh, I
sleep with Vera.
531
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:38,500
Well, you know,
I sleep next to her.
532
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:41,200
Actually, it's in the room
next to her,
533
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,600
but, uh,
I do keep the door open.
534
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:46,300
( sighs )
But the point is, you know,
535
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:49,700
I think you should judge people
for what they do,
536
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:52,000
not for...
537
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,300
who they do.
538
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
You're absolutely right,
Norman.
539
00:21:58,100 --> 00:21:59,900
I can't believe
we've been the perpetrators
540
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:01,300
of this kind of
discrimination.
541
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,700
( sighs )
542
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:03,900
We'll see you, Norman.
543
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:05,200
No, well, listen...
Hey, folks,
544
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,700
I could still, you know,
545
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,600
decorate your mountain
retreat there.
546
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,500
Kim and I happen to be
people of principle, all right?
547
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:14,900
And we put our trust in you,
our faith.
548
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:18,100
We trusted you with our most
prized possession, our home.
549
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,600
And how did you
return that trust?
550
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,600
You lied to us,
you betrayed us.
551
00:22:21,700 --> 00:22:24,100
You made fools of us.
552
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,700
I could do it for half price.
553
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:26,400
Here's the key.
554
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,100
There's Perrier in the fridge.
555
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,700
If the neighbors ask,
you're a plumber.
556
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,100
Gotcha, can do, can do.
557
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,200
Thank you so much.
558
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,700
Thank you.
559
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,100
( sighs )
560
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:54,300
How 'bout those
Celtics, huh?
561
00:22:57,300 --> 00:22:59,300
What, what,
what, what?
562
00:22:59,300 --> 00:23:00,600
What?
( scoffs )
563
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:01,700
Norm?
564
00:23:01,700 --> 00:23:03,300
How could you do this to us?
565
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:04,500
What? Do what?
566
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:07,400
We're your best friends.
567
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,100
I mean, I can't believe that
you didn't feel close enough
568
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,400
to... share this part
of your life with us.
569
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,600
This part, what?
570
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,300
Guys, I'm straight,
I'm not gay.
571
00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:18,400
No, no.
572
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:19,500
Who cares about that?
573
00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:21,400
You can get stuff
at wholesale.
574
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:25,600
I need a sofa.
575
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:26,400
Yeah?
576
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:27,600
And I could use a lamp.
577
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,400
And, uh, can you get me a deal
578
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:30,500
on a good Bacca lounger?
579
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,000
All right, all right.
580
00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:34,900
But I have to tell you folks
that I am not cheap.
581
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,600
Even for your lover?
52785
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